The Biggs Chronicles

>You are changeling 1776, the loyal, patriotic guard from tunnel 6-B, although most of your comrades refer to you as "Biggs"
>No you didn't die in a daring, last ditch attack on the Death Star, you just happened to be, well, a large changeling
>Not that it's a bad thing, it got you a sweet guard position, tons of bug bitches, and all the hive's larva want to be as cool as you when they grow up yo
>However, it does have one downside; you need a lot of love to sustain yourself, which means foraging for that shit almost every night.
>Just getting off your shift for the day at 5PM, you throw your uniform into your locker and make your way to the surface
>your stomach's a rumblin' and it's time to find that sweet, sweet love outside the hive.


>Exiting the main tunnel, you emerge ready for a good source of food.
>Noting that you have a good few hours of daylight left, you decide tht you have enough time to pick up that sweet pacific tangy drink.
>Heading down a trail through the woods, you know just the place that you can get it; Ponyville, some backwards ass Equestrian town in the boondocks. And while you're there, you'll be able to find some willing (or not) participants to "donate" love to you
>You'll be closing in on the town soon, so it might be a good time to think of a disguse


>As you approach the town, you make sure to stay hidden just behind the tree line, scouting out the situation.
>Immediately in front of you is a seemingly empty looking schoolhouse, off to the right there's a few ponies gardening in what appears to be a flower patch.
>Fucking betas.
>Off to your left there's a building that looks quite unusual and had a sweet smell emulating from it? Possibly a bakery? Just the place to get you some of your much sought after Hawaiian Punch.
>Racking your brain for ideas, you decide to sacrifice a bit of your energy to disguise before moving in on the town
>Settling on a stallion with a tan hide and dark brown mane, your cutie mark is a bloody axe
>Owtheedge.jpg
"It's time to do this, faggots." You mutter as you begin to enter the clearing


>To the bakery it is
>Strolling up to the building, a couple of ponies glance questioningly at you, and you begin to wonder if the disguise wasn't gonna work. But no matter, you had more pressing issues to take care of
>Pushing the door open, you notice that the store seems empty
>The pink mare at the counter immediately perks up at your entrance, you've probably been the only customer to walk in for a while
>"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! And welcome to the Sugar Cube corner! What can I get you?" She screeches.
>Probably has tourettes or some shit
"Yeah, hello to you too. You wouldn't happen to have any Hawaiian Punch here would you?
>"Oh we sure do! it's 5 bits a glass!"
>5 fucking bits? She's going full happy merchant on your ass. However, you're desperate to get that drink so that you can continue on and drain some love latter
>And then that's when it hits you; All you have is some counterfeit coins that were issued to you in the hive for infiltration. Problem is, their kinda rudimentary....
>You pray to Chrysalis that this shit will fool her
Y-yeah. Here you go. 5 bits"
>You hand over the coins sweating bullets
>She looks at the money, then glances back up to you
>"Silly guy, we don't take fake coins here. And you should know that counterfeiting is punishable by up to 10 years under Equestrian law"
>FUCK. You're gonna have to do something to get your chitinous ass out of this mess
>Note to self, remember to kill that head of the counterfeiting department back at the hive....if you return home that is


>Fuck this bitch, Biggs aint going down over some fake sheckels
>You reach for your cell phone
>Error:404 cellphone not found
>Damn it! You must have left it charging back at the hive.....wait, what the hell is a phone? You'll solve this latter, now is the time to act
>Putting on your best cool face, you begin to try to diffuse the situation
"Heyyy, Ms. Lye"
>"Pie."
"Pie! Listen, I'm not from around here. I was just stopping in to town after getting off at the train station. You see, this zebra collided with me when I was walking unto the platform, and I dropped my wallet out of my saddle bag. When he gave it back, he must have given me a wallet full of fake bits and took mine. Ziggers, am I right?"
>She doesn't look too impressed
>"A zebra hm? You know, I want to believe you, but there's only been one zebra to ever visit the town, so it seems kinda unlikely. I think it'd be best if we hand you over to some guards. If you're telling the truth, they'll find out"
>Shitshithsit
>Well, time for plan B, if guards get a hold of you and you can't back up your claim, you're going to the slammer, most likely to be raped by a zigga in the shower.


>If the guards are coming for you, they don't know what their in store for
>"Biggs the Bo$$" has 5 hive wrestling championships under his belt
>Plus the Royal Gaurd turned out to be a bunch of betas when you attacked Canterlot the first time
>Good times, over 300 confirmed kills
>Anyway, you better find a way to fix this without violence, or you're gonna go home hungry and loveless tonight.
>Thinking quickly, you snatch the bits from her hand and swallow as she jolts back in surprise
>Mmm. Metallic. you're gonna need some pepto bismol latter
>You look her dead in the eye
"Nobody will ever believe you, merchant"
>"W-what? You're gonna regret this, They'll get that info out of you sooner or latter
>Most likely latter, you can already feel those coins clumping up in your stomach. It's gonna be a rough night
>As you step towards her, she waves a hoof towards the window
>Oh fuck, the police station is right next door. Why didn't you notice that shit earlier?
>"Touch me and I'll scream, and believe me, those cops guards will here it!"
>Supreme fucking cunt right here
"Ok! ok! just...calm down. I don't want any trouble. Please, is there anything I can do to make this up to you?
>"Weeeeell, there is ONE thing. It might not suite somepony like you though."



>Praying to every deity you can think of, you hope it's not something ridiculous
>Probably is considering who you're dealing with
>I should have forgave Jesus for when he lost my hammer after he built that deck for me.
>Nice guy, hope he made it back to Neighxico alright
>But the point is, you're not afraid of some pink ass mare's request
"Alright, what is it Ms. Pie?"
>"Oh silly, you can just call me Pinky. Anyway, tomorrow my friends are having a little get together, and they said that you could bring along a guest....would you mind maybe....going with me?"
>A get together, that sounds easy? Too easy. But it's either that or jail.
"Oh yeah sure! I'll definatley go with you Pinky! But uhh, what's that catch? What exactly are we gonna do there?"
>"Oh you'll find out!....Hey you know, I never got your name?
>Oh fuck, a name. You forget about that. You quicklyr emember that you've got a tan hide, dark brown mane, and a bloody axe as a cutie mark


>Racking your brain, you try your best to come up with something on the fly.
>You need something that sounds good,and matches your mark
>McEdgy Cutsalot? No, what am I? Some fedora tipping larva? What kind of fucking fagglord would name their kid that?
>Remember Biggs, simple works
"Jean.....Hatchet! Yeah that'll do"
>"That'll what?"
"Oh nothing Pinky! Anyway, I'm Jean Hatchet, pleased to meet you
>You reach out and shake her hoof
>Shit's uber soft yo
>"Oh, well aren't you quite that gentlecolt Jean? Anyway, be back here by 6PM tomorrow, and don't be late!"
>Biggs is never late, even in Jean Hatchet form you fucked up mare
"Alright, sounds good, anything I should bring?"
>"Just that hot bod of yours..."
>wut
"What?"
>"Nothing! Store's closed! Get out!"
She pushes you out and your ass is now on the street.
>Well that was a huge waste of freaking time, you've got no punch to speak for, and your disguise has used up a lot of energy, you need to feed on some love nigga.
>You check the time. 8PM, no wonder it's starting to get dark
>Time to find a willing love donor


>You quickly get up and walk around the town, looking for something that could give you love
>The spa? You do have a thing for Oriental ponies, but you still don't have any real money. And even your fake money is stuck in your stomach
>A hug convention? No, there wouldn't be one of those around here in a small town, gay rights parades are supposed to take place in large cities
>Hmmmm choices, choices
>Looking at some store signs, you notice a large neon sign
>The Flexible Mare Bar. "Voted sleaziest tavern in Ponyville"
"Perfect! I'll just waltz in, buy a chick a couple drinks to get her buzzed, take the love, and peace out. Like a true man."
>Just as you're about to walk in, you remember that it might not be a good idea to steal love in the same disguise that you're going to have to roam the town in tomorrow.
>To behind the dumpster you go
"Alright, time to switch this out for something a little more comfortable"
>*Green lazer light show*
>You're now a light blue coated stallion, with a gray mane. You're cutie mark is a cocktail
"Bingo"
>You head around front to go in


>As you walk in, you eye up the situation
>There's about 10 mares in the bar, and about the same number of stallions
>Most are just chatting it up, those are no go's, you need a more secluded mare.
>Quickly observing the bar stools, you can see one purplish looking mare almost pass out drunk, one with a similar coat, but with what appears to be some circled smiles as a cutie mark and green eyes. And finally, A redhead with carrots on her ass
>All those booties look delicious, Biggs is gonna have fun tonight
>You approach the bar stool, deciding upon a name for yourself and which mare you're gonna slay tonight


>Hey, love is love, and you just need to get it quickly, so you decide upon the purple mare with grapes as her mark
>She looks like shes already had way too much to drink, so you wont even have to use your standard issue knock out pills.
>You don't trust them anyway, last time you used them, all the chick did was get a little drowsy and yell obscenities all night
>Worst date ever
"Hey there, allow me to introduce myself, I'm John Elgburt"
>"Yeahhhh? Well Ima Berreh Punch. please do meeeet yew"
>God this bitch's breath reeks of booze
"Well how about I buy you a drink, Berry Punch? And maybe we could move over to a more private stool over there?"
>"Ah yeahh, shounds good Johhhn."
She attempts to collect hrself....which consists of her crawling over to the unoccupied side stool like a slug. Poor girl.
>You motion the bartender over
"Hey buddy, you got any Hawaiian Punch?"
>Sure do mister, we mix it with some vodka too
>Sweet
"Well give me two and put it on my tab"
>"Coming right up"
>Fuck yeah, bar tabs. You'll just do what you always do. Sneak outta here and never pay. Works every time, %50 of the time
>Pretty soon you're carrying the drinks over to Berry Punch, who keeps playing with her mane and tipping over occasionally


>You return to the private stool, and hand the mare her drink, which she downs almost immediately
>Geez bitch take it easy, I need you conscious to suck that love
"So uhhh, tell me about yourself" you say, downing your drinking as well
>Damn you missed the taste of this stuff. Really got to figure out what a Hawaii is, and why they make such great beverages
>"Well, I would like to shink that I do good for town ash I look fo work."
>Great, she's unemployed. Real classy one you wrangled here, Biggs
>No matter, i'll have the love I need in a few seconds and I can leave the trashy mare when I sneak out the door
>God is she still going on?
>"and shat's when I realshized that I had drank the whooooole shing"
>This is torture, you're going in for it now
"Hey Berry?"
>Yesh John?"
"Mind if I have a kiss?"
>"Ohhhh you shuch a charma. Come ere'!"
>A quick few second drain and you'll be fie for the night
>As soon as you lock lips, you immediately suck what you can get out, her already low energy dipping even further as she passes out.
"Light weight"
>You turn to observe your escape routes when you notice that the whole bar is looking at you
>Is there something on your face
>You look down and realize that your disguise has a faint green glow shimmering across it for a couple seconds, most likely due to the mixture of alcohol and love in such a short period
>"CHANGELING!"
>Oh fuk


>You didn't sign up for this shit, you knew you should've taken her back to her place first
>You immediately drop the disguise as it is no longer useful, and watch as the ponies recoil in a mix of fear and disgust
>Fucking assholes
>"Quickly! Grab him and call for the guards!"
>Not today faggot
>You quickly smash your hoof across the first stallion's muzzle as he dives for you, throwing him off balance and into a stool
>You make a break for the back exit, trampling over another pony before a hoof snatches your tail
>Wrong move bitch
>You give whatever was holding onto you a bone crunching kick and open the door
"You all fucked with the wrong changeling!" >You yell, shortly afterwards giving a hiss as the ponies look on in awe at you darting off into the night
>Nailed it, alpha as fuck
"Oh Biggs, you really showed them!....Even if they were all drunk
>Enough praise, you can hear guards barking orders, you need to get out now
>As you head to the forest, you realize that plenty of guards are already surrounding the place
>Looks like you're staying in town tonight


>You attempt to awake your inner /k/ and think about making a break into the woods. Really should have took your SKS, some 7.62 surplus could really help out at the moment
>You see more guards begin to from a ring around the town and close in
"Well fuck that idea!"
>You begin to sprint back into town, carefully avoiding ponies who are opening their doors and windows to see what's going on
>A barn? That might work...if you had actually paid attention in infiltration 101 on how to disguise as an animal.
>That class was bullshit, you thought, a guard will never have to do that, you thought!
>You begin to rule out other places that are too open, like the park
>You can hear the guards getting closer
>Heading down an alley you realize that you're close to the bakery again
>Sweet! That pink mare may be a crazy bitch, but you might be able to find some shelter for the night
>You switch back into your original disguise that you met Pinky in, and walked up to the building, noticing that the top floor room has a light on


>You need to get her attention quickly
>Picking up a rock you hurl it at the window.......and break off a piece of the house siding. Smooth going, Biggs.
>But on the bright side, you can see movement in the room
"Hurry up you pink harpe" you mutter as you wait for someone to appear
>Mercifully, a curly pink mane appears at the window, which begins to open
>"Jean? What are you doing her so late? It's past midnight"
"Oh hey Pinky! Listen, I didn't have nay money, as you already figured out earlier today, and couldn't rent a room at an inn. Is it ok if crash here?"
>"Oh I don't know Jean, didn't you ear? The whole town has been put on a changeling alert. We're not supposed to let anyone in until it's caught"
>Son of a bitch. Equestrians really know how to deal with foreigners
>Suddenly, an idea pops in your head
"But Pinky! If I can't afford a room to stay in, I'll have to sleep out on the streets, vulnerable to changeling attack"
>t8k the b8 woman!
>"Jeaaaaan I could get in trouble for letting yo in!"
>Time to let out that inner alpha, Biggs
"Hey come on babe, it'll be ok. You let me in, I don't have to risk getting attacked, and I promise I'll protect you from the big bad changeling"
>"Hmmm...well ok, stay there."
>The door soon opens as she ushers you inside as fast as you can go
>Ebin, you're safe


You trot through the main part of the store, following Pinky as she leads the way
>Damn that ass
>Wait, slow down here, you've already fucked up one situation tonight, and judging how she handled the whole counterfeit fiasco, you better not do anything rash
>"So Jean, my rooms right up these steps, top floor. I got a guest bed that you have"
"Sounds good to me Pinky, so how close are these beds"
>God damn it Biggs
"Oh Jean, you're so silly.....there separated by a nightstand
>Not close enough for comfort
>"And here we are!
>Opening the dimly lit room, is covered in pink walls and other typical mare decorations.
>The beds look nice at least, I guess you're taking the one furthest from the door, looks like she's already got some junk on the other one
>Walking by, you notice the title of the book on her bed
"Locked Hooves and Tethered Tails?"
>"O-oh. Yeah! That's...just a book I'm reading
>Steamy romance novel. Nice.


>It's getting pretty late, and you're exhausted, especially from keeping this disguise up.
>Fortunately, after she nervously tossed the book into the nightstand between you beds, she let out a long yawn, signalling that she was ready to turn in for the night too
>Knowing that you'll have to disengage your disguise during the night, you need to be stealthy about this
"Hey uh Pinky, would you mind getting me another blanket?"
>"But Jean, isn't it hot enough already in here?"
>Those fucking pink hips man, it certainty is hot enough
"Haha, well I like it a little warmer? Please, for me?"
>She rolls her eyes and opens up the closet
>"Oh fine! Here you go Jean"
>You quickly grab the blanket and lay down, as does she after she turns out the light.
>It becomes silent in the darkness for a few minutes
>"Jean?"
"Yeah Pinky?"
"You'll wont let that changeling hurt me...right?"
>Damn she sounds nervous, even frightened
>You can still hear the guards roaming the streets looking for your ass. they sound pissed
"Of course not Pinky, you're safe here with me."
>It goes silent once again
>Hey Jean?"
"What's up"
">Can you call me what you did earlier?"
"What?"
>"You know, outside the window"
"Oh. Yeah, sure. Goodnight babe."
>"Goodnight, Jean" She coos
>Damn that's cute
>After you're convinced that she's sound asleep, you wrap up tight under the blankets and drop the disguise
>Soon, you drift off as sleep takes you, ready for whatever comes in the morning


>The darkness that you've been in slowly but surely begins to dissipate as time goes on
>Pretty soon, the sun is unmercifully barring down upon you through the window
>Your brain puts 2 and 2 together and concludes that it's time to get up
>Almost forgetting where you are, you nearly just jump out of bed
>Easy there Biggs, you made it this far, you don't want your cover blown twice
>You timidly pull the blanket slightly off of your eyes to see where your new friend is to ensure that you can get back into your disguise with a not so subtle green flash unnoticed
>Looks like her bed is empty
"Pinky?"
>No response, you're in the clear man
>With a quick flash, you're back to being Jean Hatchet, and spring out of bed
>Damn you feel good after being able to rest for a few hours, your love levels aren't doing too bad either
>Glancing outside at a street clock, it's a little after 8AM
>You also see multiple guards patrolling the streets, and questioning random ponies
"Looks like I'm gonna have to play it safe today, these asshats don't look their going to give up on finding me"
>You turn around, and Pinky is still nowhere to be seen
>The door to the downstairs is slightly ajar, that's where she must be


>You head back to the window and check the front street outside the bakery
>Random citizens going about their business, occasionally being stopped and questioned by guards
>You spot a few Wanted poster of you across the street
"Do I really look that stupid?"
>Anyway, nothing of interest out there, you turn back to the room
"She's gotta have something cool in here somewhere"
>You begin to open up drawers, closets, anything that could hold items of interest
>So far all you've found are some dresses, various supplies, and what you hope is a large store of balloons.
"Where the hell does she keep panties. Wait, do ponies even have panties?"
>Probably not, they seem pretty complacent naked
>With nothing to satisfy you here, you head towards the steps outside the door


Headed down to the second level you hear some annoying sounds
>Taking a quick peak into a room, you notice a couple of smaller looking ponies in a crib
"Fuck, I hate kids. All they do is take your sheckels and complain."
>Backing out of the room without another thought, you're headed down to the ground floor again
>On the way there, you contemplate your purpose in life, and what the universe could could.
>Should've paid more attention to "Into the Universe" hosted by Astro Nig
>Oh well, you conclude that you were put here on this planet to slay bitches and take names
>Stepping off onto the ground floor you begin to search around for Pinky


>You gotta get into the main store without looking like you were snooping around upstairs
>If someone found out that you came inside during the changeling alert last night, it could be game over for you
>Stealth mode activated
>You're ready to smooth talk yourself out of anything like one suave motherfucker
"If only I had a Walther PPK, this would be just like the movies" you mutter
>You take your first cautious steps onto the main floor
>You an hear Pinky at the counter in the other room, but you can also hear other voices as well
>Customers? You don't know, but you're about to find out
>Finally you turn the corner and see Pinky standing next to two older looking ponies
>Shit, think fast


You attempt to home in on your hive's mind frequency for guidance
Static, static, 80's on 8, infomercial
>Well this sucks, looks like you're on your own
>You could head out the back door and hopefully not run into anyone on the way there
>Ponka's room might work, but you really doubt that you could get back up those creaky stairs undetected
>You could also try your hand at talking to the ponies, but you doubt that will go ever well, as there's the possibility that the store is closed until the changeling warning is called off
>Damn, you really know how to turn a town upside down Biggs
You hear some movement in the other room, it's time to act, you need a way out of this
Choose wisely


>this is it Biggs, your life may very well be over if this goes south
>You think back to when you were but a larva. Good times, you were bretty cute
>Middle school consisted of you battling acne. Still not sure how an exoskeleton can get that
>You remember the attack on Canterlot, mowing down pansy Royal Guards left and right.
>All those wrestling championships
>A fulfilling life you think, but this shit aint over yet
>Glancing over to the door, you notice that the closed sign is facing you
>That means that it says Open from the outside
"If I can sneak in quickly enough, I can take a table and nobody will suspect anything"
>You hear a crash and the sound of glass shattering
>"Ah geez, I'm sorry Ms. Cake"
>"It's ok dear, just help me clean it up"
>Nowisthetime.jpg
>Spring forth out of the hallway while they're distracted you take a seat while they're cleaning up glass
>A few second latter, they finally notice you and begin to walk over


>Just try not to act suspicious, mang
>Doing your best not to make eye contact, you begin to just stare at the wall, hoping that they don't pick up on your nervousness
>Just keep it cool dude, you can do this
>You snap out of it due to a pink hoof waving in your face
>"Jean? Jean? You ok there?"
>Come on, load brain
"Oh yeah Pinky I'm fine. Just...thought that wall was interesting"
>Smooth
>"Oh well...alright? So, you must have snuck in while we were busy just a minute ago, RIGHT?"
"Yeah! Just a minute ago. I have been here for a minute. And no longer than that"
>God, the spaghetti floweth
"Anyway, what's up Pinky?"
>"Well this here is Mr. and Mrs. Cake, my employers!"
>Damn that blue bitch is huge. the Mr. looks like a fag too
>"Please to meet you Jean"
>The yellow one extends his hoof and you shake it
>The blue one pipes in
"So Pinky told us that you two met here last night. So what do you do for a living?"
>fugg. What do I do?


>Your name is Jean Hatchet, and your mark is an axe. Looks like you're gonna have to go with a tree based profession
"Oh me? I'm a contracted lumberjack for the Equestrian Logging Corporation
>You pray that that's an actual company
>"Oh how exciting!" The blue one yells "That must be why you look like such a big guy
"Yeah I guess you could say that, it takes a lot of muscle to chop down that timber
> Mr. Cake eyes your flank and speaks up
> "So, Jean, why exactly does the axe have blood all over it"
>Damn. Forgot about that
"It's uh. It's tree sap"
>"Red tree sap"
".......From a redwood?"
>Nailed it
>"Well alright then. Do you want anything to eat?"
>Still don't have any money. You gotta fix that
"Oh no, I don't have any bits. I was actually just stopping in to tell Pinky that I was going job hunting."
>Oh well best of luck to you!" Me, my wife, and Pinky will be here if you need anything"
"Sounds good to me Mr Cake."
>You begin to walk towards the door when a pink hoof on your shoulder stops you
>"Jean, that psycho changeling is still on the loose out there, please be careful"
>Physcho? You're the one that threatened to have me arrested over a fake coin like twelve hours go, woman
"Oh don't worry girl, I'll be alright"
>"I hope so" she replies, wrapping you in a tight hug
>Why boner
"A-alright, I'll be back at 6 to meet your friends ok?"
>Got ya! Take care!"
>And with that you're out the door


>Walking along the street, you have scanners on higher alert, don't want to run into any pony who could blow your cover
>Every road you turn on to looks more deserted then the other day
>All the Wanted signs with a stupid caricature of you on them probably means that you have something to do with this
"I'm sure that after laying low a couple of days, they'll figure that I just escaped back into the forest or some shit"
>Damn, the few ponies on the street look pretty nervous, they're all occasionally glaceing around, avoiding alley ways
>You really got this town scared. Feels burdo bordo man
>Your mind starts to wonder off to thinking about how nervous Pinky was when talking about the situation
>Damn she was cute when she was frightened
>And that glorious pink ass, what you wouldn't do to fu-
>"Hold it right there!"
>Oh god, guard incoming
>You quickly halt and wait for him to trot over
"Hello sir, is there a problem?"
>"You're damn right there is, there's been a rouge changeling roaming the town since last night. You wouldn't happen to know anything about it, would you?"

"I know that's there's running in town somewhere, how could you not with all these rediclous posters on every street corner?"
>"Well of course everyone know's that there's one lurking around, but I want to know do you know anything more...particular?"
"Me? No sir, I'm just trying to go about my day. Some scrawny little changeling wouldn't mess with a guy like me"
>"Scrawny wouldn't be the right term here, from eye witness descriptions, he was rather large....kind of like you"
>Not good, he's on to you
>"So tell me, what are you even doing out here anyway? Most ponies are waiting this out in their homes"
"Well, I uh, was just going out job hunting. I don't have any money sir."
>"No money? Sounds like you maybe just, arrived in town recently?"
>Is it too late to plead the 5th?
"Recently? Yeah, I came by train just the other day. I was looking for something to do while we moved logging locations"
>He just eyes you up and down as you remind yourself to keep it cool
"And if this changeling could be anyone, doesn't that he could possibly be a guard at the moment?"
>"What are you implying?"
"Oh I'm just saying, you seem like a big guy yourself"
>"If you're accusing me of being a changeling, I could have you imprisoned for slander and possible treason
>Holy fuck, these ponies don't mess around with martial law
"N-no sir. That's not what I mean I. Uhhh"
>"Listen son, I need to keep patrolling, but we'll be keeping an eye out.....especially on you"
>He walks past you and heads up the street
"Freaking great, they're on to me. I really shouldn't have tried to accuse him...."


>Well now that that's over, it's time to get a move on
>With the guards being suspicious of you, it's time to be a lot more cautious. Time to tone the alpha down a bit
>You begin to head down to the market, seeing if any ponies there might be offering employment.
>There's only a couple dozen market goers when you get there, and a score of guards keeping a wary eye open
>Just don't look at them Biggs, all you need is a few hours employment, and you're out of here
>Approaching the stands, you take note of the vendors and possible employers.
>There's a flower stand directly ahead of you, manned by a mare with a roe on her ass
>Next to that is what appears to just be a load of carrots for sale. And the owner is that redhead from last night at the bar
>Further down is a curly manned mare with some candies as her cutie mark, selling treats
"Well, I'm not much of a merchant, but lets give it a go.
>But who to seek employment from?

>Carrots are vegetables, which grow in the ground, which need to be planted and farmed. So carrot = farm work hopefully
>Glad I paid attention in school. Sometimes
>You put on your best smile and walk up the the carrot stand
"Well hello there, my name is Jean Hatchet"
>"Hi Jean! I'm Carrot Top. Are you interested in buying some of my products
"Actually no, I was looking for employment. I know that farming can be a tough job, which I think that I'm more than suited too
>She looks like she's giving it some thoughtful consideration, good sign
">Mr. Hatchet, although you make a very tempting offer, all the carrots have already been harvested"
>Damn it
"Well, that's alright I'll jus-"
>"However"
>Oh?
>I might be able to use some help around the stand, you know? Talking to customers moving boxes. Stuff like that"
>Work is work man
"Sounds good to me!"
>"Excellent, you can start immediately. We close down at 4:30, so you can collect your pay then and be on your way. 50 bits sound alright?"
"It most certainty does, Ms. Top"
>"Great, here's your apron"
>A little girly, but whatever
>Hey, if you get off at 4:30, that means that you can spend some time with Pinky before you two head out this evening.
>Nioce
>"Oh and Jean?"
"Yes Ms. Top?"
>"You're also going to pull some security duty"
>Say what?
>"We've got a changeling on the loose in town as you probably know, and well, you're a rather large guy. Keep on watch for anyone looking suspicious."
"You can count on me! Sounds like this bug has been causing some trouble"
>"Oh yes he has, I just heard that they have a 10,000 bit reward on his head, and may be considering shipping in some bounty hunters to find him
>................
>Oh. Shit.
"Oh....well, yeah I'll keep an eye out."
>"Alrighty then Jean, it's time to get to work!"

>You begin to man the stand as Carrot Top sets out some fresh carrots
>You never were a very good salesman, but your boss is depending on you
>Problem is, there's not too many ponies at the market, because of your shenanigans last night
>No matter how, you keep you vigilance up
But after a few hours of no customers, you mind begins to wander.
>You think back to Pinky, up to god knows what back at the bakery
"I should do something nice for her when I get off, maybe buy some candies from the other stands."
>Looking back to Carrot Top, she's just going over some product reports
>You swipe your 10th carrot of the shift while she has her back turned
"Sucker" you whisper
Suddenly, a sizable crowd appears down the street, marching off steadily in the direction of the train station
>Several guards are at the front of the mob
>Several ponies leave the market and join the march, and looking back to your boss, she appears to be getting up to join them
"What the hell is going on?"
>"Oh the Mayor just got word that we found the solution to our changeling problem, apparently it's down at the train station. Do you want to close up early and join me to see what it's all about?"
>A "solution" to the changeling problem?
>It might be worth checking out to see what they're putting up against you
>However, it might be safer just to stay put


>No way you're gonna let these damn ponies get the drop on you. But you also can't be caught too close to whatever is at the station
"No thanks, I think I'll stay here and watch the stand Carrot Top. I'm sure whatever they've got down there will be going around the town soon enough"
>"Suit yourself Jean, just remember to close up if I'm not back by 4:30"
>With a nod, she trots off to joint he crowd just as it's passing, dissapearing behind a few buildings
>You look around the market. There's only a couple ponies left walking their separate ways. And no guards. Just what you need
>Quickly packing up the carrots, you close down your work space, throw the apron under the desk and grab your pay that Carrot Top left under the stall
>As you begin to go down the road after the crowd, you notice something on a closed stand.
"Binoculars? Yeah, these are mine now" you boldly state as you snatch them and run off
>These ponies man, sometimes they're just too trusting
>After a few minutes of running, you can see the train station coming into veiw, with a crowd surrounding a train just as it screeches to a halt.
"I need to get a good, unnoticeable vantage point to get a peak with these binoculars.
>Time for some sneeki breeki
>But where?


>As you get closer to the station, you begin to worry that you might be falling into a potential trap
>You consider heading back and just waiting for Carrot Top to pass on the info to you
>You know what, no. From experience, mares can never give a reasonable description of events
"I'm gonna have a look at this thing with my own eyes, just to be safe."
>You duck down into an alleyway across from the crowd. It's an a slight hill, so you can get a good look at whatever is exiting that locomotive
>Making sure that you're well concealed behind some trash cans, you take a peak through your binoculars
>Looks like whatever's on that train hasn't exited yet, the crowd is looking on patiently towards the passenger doors.
>That also means that it's not a machine or cargo, it's a living creature
>Suddenly, you see the crowd go quite. The doors are beginning to open
"This is it. Lets see what these pastel pansies got"
>You can see a dark figure begin to emerge out of the train, and it doesn't look like a pony
>Whatever it is, it's large, larger than you
>As it moves out from the shadows of the train, you can finally see it clearly
>It's a griffon. A rough looking one at that
>Examining every detail of him, you can see he's got a very prominent scar across his right eye
>He's also wearing a khaki trail vest, along with a nasty looking kukri attached to his side
>But what troubles you most of all is what's on his head
>It's a tan bush hat, decorated with multiple knive like objects
>Focusing in further, you realize what the pointy decorations are, and your heart freezes.
"Changeling fangs. That sick bastard."
>This is not looking good at all


>You gotta get out of here, you need to play it cooler than you've ever played before
>You sprint back to stand as the crowd begins to dissipate. You need to make it look like you never left
>Making it back in record time, you dive towards the carrot stand
>You can already see ponies trotting towards the market area
"Shit! no time to unpack the carrots!"
>You quickly throw on the apron and act like you were just beginning to pack up
>Glancing up every so often, you finally stop Carrot Top
"I'll just play this off
>Your fucking freaking out man
"Hi Carrot Top! I was just packing up, it's close to closing time you know?"
>"Oh hey Jean! Thanks for doing that for me But you'll never belief what was at the station!"
>You gotta get some more details out of her


"Well how about we discuss this over some candy, my treat. I'll just go get it from that mare's stand"
>"Oh that sounds lovely, I'll be waiting over here dear"
>You already know these prices are gonna be inflated as fuck, but you need these
"Hello there Ms. I'd like a dozen bonbons please"
>"Yeah whatever, that'll be 20 bits"
>Bitch
"Here you go 20 bits. Thanks for your service."
>Not
>You take your overpriced treats and head back to the waiting Carrot Top
"Fucking schlomo"
>Alright, time to get some info
"Here we are! 10 for you, 10 for me!"
>"Well thank you Jean! these look delicious"
>They better be for these prices
>"So anyway! The train station!"
>Taking a bite, you begin to mentally prepare yourself....damn, these actually were pretty good"
>"The mayor got an executive order from Canerlot itself to hire the best bounty hunter on this side of Equestria! Apparently he's had decades of practice hunting dangerous species"
>Eh, anyone can claim that, you're not impressed yet
"So uh, who exactly is this guy, and what does he know about changeling hunting?"
>"Oh! Well his name is Rupert Auckland. He's been fabled to have spent the last 10 continuous years deep in the brush of the Griffon Empire. He was pretty handsome...."
"Yeah yeah, so what does he know specifically about hunting changelings?"
>"Oh Jean, he didn't refer to it has hunting, he said his experience with them has been more akin to extermination"
>Oh fuck no, this isn't happening
>"In fact, he said that he's become so accustomed to destroying them, he can even point out disguised ones, if given enough time"
>No. No no no no no. This is not good man, this is not good


>You snap out of your mental fear clusterfuck enough to stammer out a response.
>"I-is that so? Well, I'm sure that our changeling friend is going to have a big surprise in store for him"
>"Oh you know it Jean! And guess what the city hall did so that he can find that monster even faster?"
"...What would that be?"
"They gave him permission to go onto or inside any private property without needing permission! Isn't that great? Now he'll have nowhere safe to hide!"
>Good god these ponies, have they no knowledge of constitutional rights?
"Well, what if the bug tries to escape back into the forest? And this blows over?"
>"Oh that's not possible, the Royal Guard agreed to blockade the entire town for Mr. Auckland"
>There goes that idea
>You need to get back somewhere relatively safe
"Well thanks for the info Carrot Top! But I gotta get going, big plans tonight. Maybe latter we can discuss some more permanent employment"
">Sounds good Jean! Have fun and be careful"
>Yeah, no kidding
>You give her a nod and trot off, looking as casual as you can
>But something feels off, like you're getting tired
>Damn! You're running low on love! You need more of it soon if you want to keep your disguise


>Even in the face of destruction, there's always time to sweep a mare off her hooves
>Besides, now might be the perfect opportunity to get enough love to keep this charade up. It want hurt her or anything, you aren't at critical levels...yet
>As you walk through the street, you notice that the populace is seemingly less nervous, some even look a little happy with smug smiles
>And every one of them wants your head on a platter
>You're only a couple blocks away from the bakery, it's in the bag man
>Peeking around the last few corners looking for Auckland, your convinced that he's probably still going over the legalities with the town officials, and isn't loose yet
"God it's good to be home" you exclaim as you walk in through the door
>Mr. Cake is at the counter
>"Oh hey Jean! Pinky said if you're looking for her, she's be up in her room!"
"Thanks Mr. Cake, I'm gonna go up and see her now"
>You walk up the stair case and come to her room, door closed


>Alright Biggs, no mistake, we need this love or Auckland will have our head
>*knock knock knock*
>No response, time for plan B
>slowly opening the door, you can see that she's asleep in her bed
"Geez girl, It's only like 5 o'clock"
>Glancing over you her pillow, you see that stupid romance novel hanging loosely out from under it
>Fucking clopfics, what kind of degenerates would write that smut
>You chuckle a bit, who are you kidding, your locker back at the hive was filled to the brim with Playcolt
"Hmmm....what to do?


>You decide to take it easy, no need to over do it here
>You place the candies on the nightstand and smile down at her
>.........................and she's still fucking asleep, great idea Biggs
"Screw this, times like these call for action"
>You lean down to your fair maiden
>God, should you just don your fedora now?
"Nothing wrong with taking a little love, I need some anyway"
>You decide that you're gonna wake her up gently
>Oh you'll be gentle all right
>You climb up on the bed and position yourself over top of her, hooves splayed around her
>Planting your lips on hers, you make sure that their firmly locked
>You quickly begin to take some love, and feel your energy rising again
>Damn, this kiss feels good
>You realize that at this point, you're not doing it for the energy anyway, you're just outright enjoying it
>Pushing in even firmer, you can tell she's subconsciously enjoying it
>And that's when her eyes flick open
>In a fraction of a second she's recoiled back, looking rather embarrassed
>"Jean?? What's going on?"


>Surprised at the sudden loss of energy, you freeze up for a second
>Changelings are hard wired to try to re obtain energy sources if they become compromised
>You feel your hips tense up, answering to natural instinct
>No, this isn't right, you don't need the love that badly yet
>Besides, a rape is the last thing you need, Auckland would have you burning at the stake if your list o crimes included 'raping an innocent mare'
>You gotta talk your way around this one
"O-oh. Pibky I'm sorry, I really am. I just walked in and I saw that you were reading that book again, so I thought you might want this. I'm so sorry if I offended you"
>"What? Oh Jeans, it's ok! You know, if you wanted that, all you had to do was ask"
>Did she just wink? Oh she totally did
>Jackpot. Looks like you found your main energy source while you're still stuck here
>You hope off from on top of her and point for hoof over to the food.
"Well, while I was out, I picked up some,sweets, for my sweet"
>Her face just turned pinker. Nice.
>"Well thanks stud, they look pretty good. So anyway, what happened while you were out? Tell me about your day."



"Well, I got a job at the market place with Carrot Top! I have bits, so now you don't have to have me arrested, now do you?
>"Oh Jean, it's in the past dear. Before I knew who you truly were, just a down to earth, kind stallion
>Heh, yeah. If only that's what I truly was
"Oh you know it! I'll be heading back there latter in the week to secure a position."
>"Well that just sounds spectacular. You're defiantly gonna need those bits if you're gonna rent out this room with me...."
>Woah nelly, this bitch moves fast. But you like it
>"That's alright with you, isn't it?"

"Are you sure that's what you want Pinky? We only just met the other day. Don't you think we're moving kind of fast?"
>"Oh nonsense Jean, we can be smart about this. You like me don't you?
>You nod
>"And you want to spend time with me, right?"
"Well yes"
>"Then it's settled! We're rooming!"
>Aggressive little thing
"Ok Pinky, if you're comfortable with this, then I'm down!"
>"YAY!"
>She jumped almost vertically out of bed and gave you the tightest hug you've probably ever gotten. Even tighter then when that guard attempted to crush you windpipe during the Canterlot invasion
>You begin to lean in for another kiss, without a care in the world. Damn you got the feels for this mare, you need some love right no-
>"You there! Halt!
>Wut
>That came from the street outside
>"Now lay down all slow like, or I'll force you down"
>Sounds Australian
>You and Pinky exchange glances, and run over to the window
>..............oh god no. he's loose
>There stands Rupert Auckland, hovering over a quivering pony, kukri in claw.
>You see him give the poor stallion a few, slow look overs with cold precision
>"Alright, get up mate. You're free to go"
>The pony sprints away without another word, and the griffon sheaths his weapon, and carries on down the street
>Not fucking good
>"Jean, what was that all about?"



>You silently go sit down on your bed and motion her over
"Pinky, remember how that changeling was sited in town last night?"
>"Well yeah Jean, everyone was talking about it non stop today. But it's alright, the Royal Guard will take care of it, right?"
>You sigh, wishing that was the situation
"Wrong Pinky. It's out of the Guard's hands, so they had to improvise. You remember the Canterlot invasion? The Royal Guard is a good blockading and conventional force, but not too good at dealing with infiltrators."
>"Well, I suppose, but what else are they gonna do Jean? Let the changeling wander the town?"
>You give her a pleading look
"That's exactly what they're going to do actually. The Royal Guard has set up a blockade around the town to make sure that nothing gets out unchecked. And in the meantime, they released the bird out there to roam the town, stalk the bug, and eliminate it"
>"I don't understand, who is he?"
"Rupert Auckland. Apparently a pretty successful hunter. Of big game, and fugitives. So now, the changeling is trapped like a rat in a maze. No way out. With a predator stalking it around every corner"
>You look over to her, and she sports a rather disturbed look
>"That's a little extreme Jean. Even for a changeling. I mean I know he has to be caught, but it's not like he's really hurt anyone. He's probably just scared out of his mid and trying to get back home at this point."
>God damn this mare, you're starting to tear up


>You just needed to get that off your chest, fucking emotions.
>Besides, it's not like the bird can check every citizen in the town, not even he has that kind of patience. You just gotta avoid him and you'll be cool
>Snapping back to reality, you've got Pinky laying in your lap, just looking up at you
"Aw, don't worry about it girl, this whole thing will blow over soon enough."
>She gives you a nervous smile in response
"And who knows, I'm pretty confident that the poor guy has already found what he's looking for
>"And what would that be?"
You lean down and give her a wet kiss on the cheek
"Love of course"
>Alright, time to get this show on the road
"So uh, where are we going tonight with your friends?"
>"Oh you'll Jean! But we better get going! come on"
>And with that, you two are out the door, Pinky slightly ahead of you leading the way


>As you follow Pinky, you keep a cautious eye at for your hunter
>If he could determine if that stallion from earlier was real or not after just a few seconds glance, you can't let him get the drop on you
>But for now, you're relatively safe, the bird's probably off harassing an elementary school or something
>And now, it's time for some live action entertainment
>That pink ass jiggles with every step, you're so glad that she took the lead
>You shouldn't have expected anything less from a mare living in a bakery
>"Oh Jean"
>You snap out of that rear induced trance
"I'm sure that you're gonna love my friends!"
"Oh yeah, me too babe. So tell me a little about them"
>"Well there's Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Apple Jack."
>Huh, you swear that you've heard those names before
>"And they're the absolute best friends ever!"
"And why's that my dear?"
>Because we're the six elements of harmony of course! What better friends could you get than that?"
>Wait a minute. Elements of Harmony?
>FUCK
>You remember those names! Those psychos wiped out for squad during the invasion
>Oh god, the carnage. You remember holding 5590 as he died in your arms, thanks to those fiends
>And your sweet Ponka was in on it too


>You know what, you would rather be dead then stuck in a room with those murderers
>But at the same time, you still feel attached to your only friend in this blockaded town
>You'll have to think of a way to get rid of the other five, or at least ruin their day
"Hey Pinky?"
>"Yes Jean?"
"What exactly are we going to do with your friends?"
>"Well, to tell you the truth, we're going to help Twilight organize books"
>.........wat
"Organize books? Why did you want me to go with you to organize books?"
>"Because it's hell a boring sweety, I needed something to distract me from it"
>Well, at least that makes sense
"Forgot that, we're going on a date instead!"
>"But Jean, my friends are waiting!"
"Oh don't you worry about them, I'll take care of that."
>"You will?"
"Oh I most certainty will babe, I'll make sure that they have plenty of company"
>Weeeeell.....ok. So where are we gonna go?
>You glance around and see a police checkpoint up ahead
"You'll see Pinky, just wait right here for me, I'll be back in a sec, just gotta talk to those guards for a moment"
>Alright, I'll stay right here Jean!"
>Sucker
>As you approach the checkpoint, you begin to think of what a genius you are
>Your hive taught you that the ponies aren't very well adapted to determining if somepony is real, or a changeling in disguise.
>And the process they use is to determine it is, well. Pretty long and excruciating. For the convict of course
>You'll just file a false report to the police, they'll arrest the 5 cunts on suspicions of being changelings, and all the while they'll keep Auckland out of the loop, because if they can prove that the guards uncovered the changeling, they don't have to pay him the 10,000 bits
"Hello there sir"
>"State your business"
"I'm calling in an anonymous tip on the whereabouts of the changeling. Some citizens believe that it's residing in the Ponyville tree library."
>"We'll dispatch a platoon immediately
>Nice


>That'll show those self righteous bitches. Lets see how they like water boarding at Cloptonimo Bay
>Oh Biggs, you've really outdone yourself this time
>"Hurry up Jean! It's starting to get dark!"
"Well now that that's taken care of, lets roll!"
>"But dear, what where you doing over there?"
"Oh nothing Pinky, just asking if they found the bug yet. He's still on the run"
>"Oh darn. But I'm sure they'll got some leads soon"
>Heh. Yeah. They got some leads alright
>Looking back, you probably should have backed up what you said with some proof,
>Naw, if they're willing to let a mentally insane griffon roam the town with a god damn kukri, they're paranoid enough to buy your story
>"So where are we going stud?"


>Where are we going? That's a good question
>You quickly consider taking her out for a nice picnic, but pass it up, as you'd have to go back to the house and get supplies
>Maybe you'll just ask her
"Well, where do you want to go? I've got enough bit for pretty much anywhere"
>"Really? How about just a nice little bar and grill? I could use a drink"
>You could use one too, after having your nerves racked all day
"Grill it is, should be one around the corner."
>Sure enough, there it is
>Walking inside you head up to the counter
"Have any room for one stallion and one foxy little mare?"
>You can hear a quick giggle from Pinky off to your side
>"Sure, follow me" the waitress states as she beckons you over to a booth
>Soon, you're both seated and ready
>"What would you like to have?"
"Oh w'ell just have a couple of the specials. Oh! and two Hawaiian Punches
>Can't forget that shit
>The waitress scribbles it down and heads off
>Looking over to Pinky, she's just staring into your eyes



"Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Because you have a pretty sweet ass"
>"Hahaha, oh Jean. How'd you know that I did that early while making cakes?"
>Huh
>This mare, man
>Well, that's all the pick ups lines you got
>"Here's your orders!" Says the waitress, sliding a couple plates and drinks over towards you and Pinky
>Doesn't look too bad, worth the 15 bits
"Well, lets dig in"
>Pretty soon, the food s gone, and you're just down to your drinks
>"Sooo Jean, anything that you maybe want to toast too?"
"Yeah. How about a toast to us being the closest roommates there ever were"
>You clink glasses and knock it back
>"Oh don't worry, I think we'll be *plenty* close"
>Oh god yes
>There she goes again, looking into your eyes
>This time, you macth her, and lean on your hoof and stare back ravenously into her eyes
>Such amazing things they are. Staring into them makes you yearn for her touch, her companionship.
>They're like two beautiful mirrors, you can see the whole world, and yourself reflected in them
>And the griffon in the background
>.........fugg
>Turning around slowly, you see Auckland coming in through the doorway, heading straight for the bar, and removing his hat


>It's cool Biggs, just don't make eye contact.
>You glance over at Pinky, who is staring at the griffon
"Pinky. Don't look at it, don't draw attention" you whisper
She snaps her head back and just stares at you, her eyes betraying her nervousness
>Several silent minutes go by
>Deciding to take another peek, you turn, and witness him just casually talking to the bartender, while knocking back a beer
>Wait, what the hell is that?
>His kukri has blood stains all over it, apparent even through the sheath.
>You begin to listen in on his conversation
>"Yeah, I had to use Sharpy here a few hours ago. I had some bloke run on me when I went to go check him out. Unfortunately for him, he didn't make it far. Unfortunately for me, he wasn't the changeling. Oh well, what are ya gonna do?"
>Oh god, he really is a homicidal maniac
>You need to get out
>Looking over to Pinky, you can tell she is nodding off
"Lets go, Pinky, we gotta get home."
>As you two begin to leave, you can feel the griffon's gaze upon you. Looking back, confirms this.
>For a brief second time stands still, and your eyes lock.
>Quickly breaking eye contact you exit the bar
"Alright lets get home"
>"Jean, I know this sounds silly, but I'm tired. Could you carry me?"
"Sure, why not"
>Going down the dark streets, you come upon the bakery in a few minutes.
>Using Pinky's key to get you, you carry her up to your room.
>Gentley plopping her on her bed, you tuck the already asleep mare in, and give her a quick kiss, just quick enough to take some love
>With that being down, you head into your bed, and disengage your disguise under the covers.
"Tomorrow will be less stressful" you mutter as sleep takes you, your last thoughts being of that fantastic mare before you black out