Prison of Shenanigans, Session 2

<DM> *Last time! You folks entered the seriously messed up Forest Temple with the goal of finding one of Vaati's followers. So far, you found a weird symbol with an eye with wings, not sure if that's even related. You encountered a quirky teammate that went full Kamina mode, a treasure chest that stared blankly with you so you took it with you, a prison with Moblins, and now Wolfgang is..... *sighs*
<DM> ...... yeah, not sure whether I should run now or just drink so much that I forget everything pre-emptively
<DM> *With the first floor of the prison, you press onwards, to ascending to the next floor!*
<DM> -=QUEST CONTINUE=-
<Maliki> (do we we have all our gear?
<DM> (yep)
<Maliki> (moblins be dumb)
<DM> *Into the treasure chest goes the currently hurr-durr Serra, and out of it comes a furry Dingo companion, along with a Wolfos that speaks with better grammar than his master.
<DM> ... oh no
<DM> *I swear to god, if Herian decides to join Wolfgang on the el macho luchadore Wolfos mode, I'm out.
<Wolfgang> si
<DM> *Up ahead, the stairwell to the second floor is available, with only the hulking corpse of that Guard Darknut you defeated last time.
<Herian> *isn't even sure what that means*
<DM> *You all stare blankly at each other, not sure whether to kill your new companion, continue onwards, or loot yourselves for shenanigans.
* Amilena shakes fist at the moon.
<DM> *The moon continues to stare blankly at you from the high ceiling of the prison. You still feel spited, Amilena.
<Maliki> "so umm"
<Maliki> "upward and onward?"
<Amilena> -_-
* Wolfgang nods.
* Sephiroth kicks WindStrike out the window.
* You have been kicked from #zurpg by Sephiroth (You have been kicked out the window and you landed on Bill Gates! Quick, shoot him while you can! «19,472»)
<DM> *And thus begins the party: Silent Night.
<DM> *A random DM bounces through the room as you hear the screams of Bill Gates getting squashed by the fourth wall.
<DM> *You folks head up the stairwell to floor 2, only to find... more of those god darn floating fires that illuminate the room. It's a similar set-up to the first floor, with a pathway down the middle of the room, four prison cells, and a stairwell on the other side.
<DM> *However, the prison cells have only floating flames inside them. Weird. Yet, you hear voices coming from the prison cells.
<Amilena> And here I thought an underground forest was weird and spooky. Clearly I had not seen into Win...the depths of the universe's oddities.
<DM> *Yet another god darn frigin' clanking sound is heard approaching from the top of the stairwell on the other side. There are crates nearby, should anyone want to hide in them... or use your treasure chest.
* Wolfgang hides the chest in a crate and hides himself in the chest.
<DM> .......
<DM> *The clanking sound stops before anything on the stairwell is visible.
* Amilena arranges the crates in a corner and hides behind them.
* Amilena is entirely ready to topple the crates if discovered.
<DM> *You hear footsteps from above, followed by the clanking side going away until you go back to re-experiencing silence, the game.
<DM> *Amilena, one of the crates you're hiding behind has a dark green robe over one of them, and it doesn't seem to be flush against the crate face. There's a pair of boots sneaking out from beneath the robe.
<DM> *Wolfgang, you experience so much inception, you question whether you yourself are inside the mask you're wearing or if the mask you're wearing is inside of itself. Roll Wisdom vs. $10d10!
<DM> $10d10
<Navi> WindStrike: You rolled 10 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 4, 7, 7, 10, 1, 4, 8, 1, 1 and 8. Total: 51. Successes: 6.
* Maliki places his self against a wall so what it is up the stairs can't see him till its too late
<Wolfgang> i didnt put the mask on yet bud
* Amilena takes one of the boots.
* Herian does the same on the other side of the doorway
<DM> *Wanna try to peek around the corner, Maliki?
<DM> *Amilena... roll Power.
<Maliki> *Sure*
<DM> *And Wolfgang, nvm, you continue contemplating whether to contemplate or not.
<Amilena> $10d10
<Navi> Amilena: You rolled 10 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 10, 6, 7, 9, 8, 6, 7, 1, 5 and 9. Total: 68. Successes: 10.
<DM> *Maliki, you peak around the corner and up the stairwell to see the backside of a knight in blue armor, carrying two claymores.
<DM> ..... annnd I don't have shells, gimme a tick
<Maliki> "err thats a big thing"
<DM> *Upon you saying that, it turns around. Maliki, roll your Wisdom stat!
* GreenRobedFigure rolls Power against Amilena.
<GreenRobedFigure> $6d10
<Navi> GreenRobedFigure: You rolled 6 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 9, 7, 2, 1, 3 and 1. Total: 23. Successes: 2.
<Maliki> $9d10
<Navi> Maliki: You rolled 9 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 4, 5, 5, 1, 5, 8, 6, 10 and 1. Total: 45. Successes: 7.
<DM> *Amilena, you easily take the boot off, and the GreenRobedFigure you just booted (HEYOOOOO) trips and falls over.
<BlueDarknut> $5d10
<Navi> BlueDarknut: You rolled 5 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 2, 4, 4, 7 and 5. Total: 22. Successes: 2.
<Amilena> Huh, didn't think it was attached to anything.
* BlueDarknut looks behind itself briefly and fails to notice Maliki peeking around the corner. The darknut turns its head back forward.
* BlueDarknut heads back all the way upstairs, out-of-sight.
* GreenRobedFigure gets back up, dusts herself off, and stares Amilena dead in the eye.
<GreenRobedFigure> Gah, what is WRONG with you?! I'm trying to hide from those guards, why would you trip me?!
<DM> *GreenRobedFigure actually fails to stare Amilena in the eye, cause Amilena is being a shady ****** and wearing a hood to cover her face..... jerk.
<DM> *Great, if I wanted, I could call you both Mysterious Robed Figures. TROPE VS. TROPE, GO!
<Amilena> Hey, there's only room in this dungeon for one mysterious woman in a cloak. Get your own shtick.
* Wolfgang opens the chest and then opens the crate.
* Wolfgang comes up behind the non Amilena cloaked figure.
<GreenRobedFigure> Hey, I was here first! YOU go get own shtick!
* Wolfgang presses a pistol crossbow up against the green robed figure's head.
* GreenRobedFigure fails to notice Wolfgang sneakin' up behind her courtesies of attempting to trope-fest.
<Wolfgang> Who are you and what are you doing. Get talking or I get shooting.
* GreenRobedFigure does notice the feeling of the crossbow pistol.
<GreenRobedFigure> .......
* GreenRobedFigure holds her hands up.
<Wolfgang> I'm a reasonable man. If you make it good I won't splatter your grey matter all over my associate here.
<GreenRobedFigure> I am a member of the Knights of Legend, don't you recognize the dark green robe you idiot?
<DM> *Funny, the standard adventurer's traveler's robe is also dark green.
<Wolfgang> I might be an idiot but which one of us has a crossbow against their head?
* Amilena holds up her own dark green cloak.
* Wolfgang lowers the crossbow.
<Wolfgang> Alright then.
* GreenRobedFigure stares blankly at existence, then stares blankly at herself without using a mirror, then face-palms, taking 1 neutral damage.
<GreenRobedFigure> 9h, 5m
<GreenRobedFigure> ow
<GreenRobedFigure> agony
* Sephiroth stares blankly at GreenRobedFigure.
* GreenRobedFigure feels the blank stare of the fourth wall and goes right back to spouting exposition.
* SubconsciousEye stares at the GreenRobedFigure, subconsciously staring
<GreenRobedFigure> Uhh... umm... I'm uhhh........ I'm here tryin' to find that darn Vaati follower. Gah, them and their rip-off of our group!
* BlankStare enters the room, stares blankly at everyone, then blanks starely at itself until itself stare blanks unto that with is not itself.
* Maliki is completly lost
<GreenRobedFigure> So.. what are YOU guys doing here?
<Wolfgang> There's been a potential kidnapping.
<Amilena> -_o
<Wolfgang> Plus unlawful imprisonment of innocents.
<Amilena> o_-
<Maliki> i didn't take the left turn at Albuquerque
<Amilena> I'm here for the loot.
<GreenRobedFigure> Hey, I'm as clueless as you guys, I don't think that follower dude did all this crap. This dungeon is triiiiiiippy. Saria don't do her job right anymore...
<DM> *Maliki, you notice the Blue Darknut returning... this time with a Red Darknut in front of it.
<Sephiroth> "That's right, Maliki, you were supposed to take a right at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu"
* Amilena ducks back behind the pile of crates.
<Sephiroth> "Taumatawhakatangi­hangakoauauotamatea­turipukakapikimaunga­horonukupokaiwhen­uakitanatahu "
<DM> *Do you risk notifying your friends or get ready to ambush?
<Wolfgang> lake titicaca
<DM> *Amilena apparently has sixth sense despite not seein- right..... they clank when walking, nvm, you all hear it.
<Maliki> *the hell is that link?*
* Amilena lights the corner of the robed figure's cloak on fire with a small charm.
<Maliki> "i am so confused
* WindStrike high-fives Amilena.
<DM> *Amilena, roll your Wisdom vs. GreenRobedFigure's, see if you can do it sneakily without her noticing immediately.
<Amilena> $20d10
<Navi> Amilena: You rolled 20 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 6, 6, 3, 2, 2, 9, 7, 4, 1, 2, 10, 5, 6, 10, 8, 7, 9, 7, 8 and 9. Total: 121. Successes: 16.
<GreenRobedFigure> $12d10
<Navi> GreenRobedFigure: You rolled 12 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 9, 4, 9, 9, 9, 3, 1, 5, 10, 1, 6 and 4. Total: 70. Successes: 8.
* GreenRobedFigure doesn't notice jack crap.
* Herian considers just leaving considering this insanity
<GreenRobedFigure> Augh, the darknuts are back, better hide!
* Wolfgang dives back into his chest.
* GreenRobedFigure goes to hide behind a different box, still unaware of her robe catching fire.
* Maliki finds a place to hide as well
<GreenRobedFigure> *You ditch your ambush spot and hide with some more crates.
<GreenRobedFigure> *The darknuts arrive at the bottom of the stairwell, their yellow eyes creeping out from under the dark visage of whatever the heck is under their helmets.
<DM> ... woops
<DM> GreenRobedFigure, silence
<DM> *You ditch your ambush spot and hide with some more crates.
<DM> *The darknuts arrive at the bottom of the stairwell, their yellow eyes creeping out from under the dark visage of whatever the heck is under their helmets.
<DM> *They see nothing, until one of the crates catches fire, followed by a woman rushing out of the crate on fire.
<Maliki> o.o
<GreenRobedFigure> AAAAAAAHHHH, FIRE FIRE, WHAT IS THIS
* Maliki kindly points out its fire
<Amilena> Well, so much for that plan...
<DM> *The Blue Darknut dashes over and slices at the woman.
<Wolfgang> I can't let this happen! Time to try on this mask and see what it does.
<Wolfgang> i hope you guys are ready for this shit
<Wolfgang> its going to be dumb
<DM> ......
<Wolfgang> i dont even speak spanish
<Wolfgang> ahem
* Wolfgang puts on the strange mask!
<DM> alright folks, get ready to quit/run/explode/whatever you need to do
<Wolfgang> Oh no!
<Wolfgang> OH NO
<Dhoo> HOLA AMIGOS
<Dhoo> IT IS I THE GREATEST LUCHADOR IN HYRULE
<DM> *Before the BlueDarknut can finish its attack, time stops as luchadore music suddenly fills the room, complete with muted trumpets and random confetti.
* Maliki backs away slowly
* Maliki makes no threating movements
* Maliki slowly escapes from the crazy person
<DM> *Wolfgang transforms into Dhoo, appearing from the chest within a box, goin' full Wolfos w/ Luchadore mask mode.
<DM> *Maliki, you attempt to escape, but time is still frozen as the room and the game itself continue face-palm.
<Dhoo> AH DARKNUTS! A WORTHY TEST FOR DHOO!
* Herian suddenly feels ashamed for his race
<DM> *Herian, you take 1 shame damage, which translates to 1 neutral damage.
* Dhoo leaps towards the Blue Darknut, going for his trademark Gourdcrusher!
* Amilena can't see anything, since her mask has fallen over her eyes while quietly laughing.
<Dhoo> ROLL COURAGE HOMBRE!
* BlueDarknut is too stunned by the ridiculousity of this and rolls with -5 dice.
<BlueDarknut> $16d10
<Navi> BlueDarknut: You rolled 16 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 7, 5, 7, 3, 10, 1, 1, 7, 2, 10, 10, 5, 7, 8, 1 and 9. Total: 93. Successes: 14.
* BlueDarknut lucksaaaaaaacks on dat roll.
<Dhoo> $12d10
<Navi> Dhoo: You rolled 12 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 7, 2, 6, 7, 2, 10, 7, 6, 6, 10, 6 and 2. Total: 71. Successes: 11.
* Amilena throws a reroll
<Amilena> on the darknut
<BlueDarknut> $16d10
<Navi> BlueDarknut: You rolled 16 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 2, 2, 3, 3, 8, 3, 8, 10, 10, 2, 4, 2, 2, 1, 3 and 9. Total: 72. Successes: 7.
* BlueDarknut seems to trip on an inconvenient rock and is HIT!
<Geodude> DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE
<Dhoo> ROLL POWER AGAIN SO FUN
<Dhoo> $17d10
<Navi> Dhoo: You rolled 17 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 10, 4, 9, 3, 7, 9, 10, 5, 7, 1, 6, 1, 9, 3, 8, 7 and 5. Total: 104. Successes: 14.
* BlueDarknut drops down -7 dice on this one, still confused.
<BlueDarknut> $14d10
<Navi> BlueDarknut: You rolled 14 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 8, 9, 6, 8, 10, 7, 10, 5, 2, 2, 1, 5, 10 and 3. Total: 86. Successes: 13.
* BlueDarknut is just baaaarely hit.
<Dhoo> damage +10 fyi
<DM> dear god
<BlueDarknut> 14 - 13 = 1 + 10 = 11 - 2 = 9 damage
* BlueDarknut has its gourd crushed, not sure if it has one, but now it definitely doesn't.
<BlueDarknut> 4h
<Dhoo> AH HA HA LITTLE BLUE KNUT! DO YOU WISH TO CALL IT QUITS NOW? OR DOES DHOO HAVE TO TRASH YOU AGAIN?
<DM> *With Luchadore Dhoo and his background music mariachi band playing a victory theme, the real battle starts now. Everyone that is willing to fight along this nutcase of a Dhoo, roll initiative.
* Maliki  considers
<Dhoo> DHOO NEEDS NO HELP! LITTLE PEOPLE MUST FIGHT OF THEIR OWN WILL AND NOT IF THEY DO NOT WANT TO!
* Amilena is still doubled over laughing.
* Maliki looks to herian and back at the luchodor then Amilena  then the darknut
* Maliki blinks twice
<DM> *The fires of GreenRobedFigure are put out due to her own stunned silence of whatever the **** she just witnessed.
<Maliki> "this is too silly even for me"
* GreenRobedFigure just slides away, hides behind a crate that isn't on fire, and just hides from existence.
<BlueDarknut> $init 1d13
<Navi> BlueDarknut: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 12.
<RedDarknut> $init 1d10
<Navi> RedDarknut: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 10.
<DM> WOOOOOOAAAAAAAH
<Amilena> 0_o
<DM> REVENGE OF THE DARKNUTS IS COMING
<Dhoo> $init 1d14
<Navi> Dhoo: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 2.
<Dhoo> AYE CARAMBA
<Maliki> fuck i always forget how to do init
<Amilena> o_0
<DM> *Dhoo, you're too caught up in the moment to know how to go first.
<DM> *Just do $init 1d10
<Amilena> $init 1d10
<Navi> Amilena: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 5.
<Maliki> $init 1d10
<Navi> Maliki: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 3.
<DM> (Herian joining or is he still too ashamed of his race?
<Herian> !init 1d12
* Amilena may be crying from laughing too hard.
<Herian> $init 1d12
<Navi> Herian: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 8.
<DM> $init s
<Navi> The battle has begun!
<Navi> ROUND 1: BlueDarknut (12), RedDarknut (10), Herian (8), Amilena (5), Maliki (3) and Dhoo (2).
<Navi> Bonus Turns: BlueDarknut (12) and RedDarknut (10).
<DM> *Amilena, as you continue to still laugh, you suffer -2 dice on your rolls.
<Amilena> (Worth it.)
<DM> heeeeere's your enemies - http://zurpg.sephiroth.ws/thread-952-post-2193.html#pid2193
<DM> EXPERIENCE A WHOLE NEW WORLD OF UPDATED FORMAT, OOOOOOOH YEAH
<DM> courtesies of Sephiroth
* BlueDarknut decides to go in for some revenge as it realizes it doesn't have cross slash for some reason.
* BlueDarknut grabs its claymore and charges in at Dhoo, going for a slash attack! ($27d10 vs. Courage), +10 Damage | 2 neutral damage if Dhoo successfully defends
<BlueDarknut> $27d10
<Navi> BlueDarknut: You rolled 27 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 1, 2, 3, 9, 3, 7, 2, 7, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 3, 6, 1, 6, 9, 5, 5, 4, 6, 6, 6, 9, 2 and 2. Total: 128. Successes: 15.
<Dhoo> $21D10
<Navi> Dhoo: You rolled 21 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 6, 7, 10, 7, 9, 7, 8, 8, 1, 1, 3, 9, 1, 8, 1, 8, 4, 5, 10, 9 and 2. Total: 124. Successes: 16.
<Dhoo> WAIT
<Dhoo> DHOO FORGOT
<DM> HAX
<DM> HAAAAAX
<Dhoo> +3
<Dhoo> +1 PER ALLY
<DM> ....... add it
<Dhoo> $4D10
<Navi> Dhoo: You rolled 4 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 4, 10, 10 and 6. Total: 30. Successes: 5.
<Dhoo> YES?
<Dhoo> HOW MANY ALLIES DOES DHOO HAVE?
<DM> *Dhoo forgot how to get hit as the crowd cheers, causing the blade to bounce off him...... annnd he takes 2 neutral damage, cause lol impact strike.
<Dhoo> 27H -2M
* BlueDarknut is stunned by the sheer stupidity of this all and suffers -3 to all dice rolls for the remainder of the battle.
<DM> $endturn
<Navi> WindStrike has ended BlueDarknut's turn.
<Navi> Bonus Turns: BlueDarknut (12) and RedDarknut (10).
<Dhoo> WAIT 1M
* RedDarknut uses Cover on BlueDarknut.
<Dhoo> HA HA YOU WILL HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THAT TO PUT DOWN DHOO!
* RedDarknut holds its ground to see if the stupidity and ludicrosity will wear off.
<DM> $endturn
<Navi> WindStrike has ended RedDarknut's turn.
<Navi> ROUND 1: BlueDarknut (12), RedDarknut (10), Herian (8), Amilena (5), Maliki (3) and Dhoo (2).
<Navi> Bonus Turns Over! Round 1 Begins Now!
<DM> *Planning phase a go-go! 10 minutes on timer (get in #zurpgteam if yer not in thar), so end time of :59
<RedDarknut> 20h | Super Cover on BlueDarknut
<BlueDarknut> 4h | -3 dice on all rolls
<DM> enemy actions set
<DM> a-waitin' on ze Maliki and Herian
<DM> meanwhile - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klVe7_2UEQ8
<Dhoo> THIS PLEASES DHOO
<Amilena> I prefer this one myself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w5fLGWrHouk
<Dhoo> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-Rqdgna3Yw
<DM> $turns
<Navi> ROUND 1: BlueDarknut (12), RedDarknut (10), Herian (8), Amilena (5), Maliki (3) and Dhoo (2).
<DM> *As you trade mariachi pieces, the battle resumes
<DM> *BlueDarknut tries for a different target this time, aiming at the one crying laughing in the corner as it slashes at Amilena with Desertion! ($24d10 vs. Courage), +0 Damage | Target loses 8 Wisdom | If fail, target takes 2 neutral damage
<BlueDarknut> $24d10
<Navi> BlueDarknut: You rolled 24 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 8, 10, 5, 7, 6, 5, 7, 9, 4, 5, 1, 2, 4, 5, 8, 1, 2, 4, 2, 6, 3, 9, 3 and 6. Total: 122. Successes: 15.
<Amilena> $12d10
<Navi> Amilena: You rolled 12 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 6, 1, 7, 2, 8, 3, 3, 9, 3, 7, 4 and 1. Total: 54. Successes: 5.
<DM> *Soo... dead yet?
<Amilena> nope
* BlueDarknut manages a clean slice as it slashes Amilena's Wisdom down, literally.
<BlueDarknut> 4h | -3 dice on all rolls
<DM> $endturn
<Navi> WindStrike has ended BlueDarknut's turn.
<Navi> ROUND 1: BlueDarknut (12), RedDarknut (10), Herian (8), Amilena (5), Maliki (3) and Dhoo (2).
<Amilena> 5h, 14m |-8 wisdom
<DM> *RedDarknut goes for a Slash attack with its Defender’s Claymore at Dhoo! ($34d10 vs. Courage), Damage Halved | If it hits, RedDarknut gains 6 Defense Dice
<RedDarknut> $34d10
<Navi> RedDarknut: You rolled 34 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 4, 2, 10, 5, 10, 10, 5, 2, 5, 8, 9, 2, 8, 7, 10, 7, 10, 6, 7, 2, 9, 9, 8, 2, 7, 9, 8, 9, 8, 7, 2, 1, 2 and 5. Total: 215. Successes: 30.
<Dhoo> DHOO MUST DO MATH HOLD ON
<Dhoo> $27D10
<Navi> Dhoo: You rolled 27 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 5, 2, 3, 9, 9, 2, 6, 1, 10, 7, 5, 1, 5, 3, 4, 2, 5, 1, 10, 8, 9, 10, 3, 7, 5, 9 and 3. Total: 144. Successes: 19.
* RedDarknut gets a hit in, and gains a serious defensive bonus!
<Dhoo> DHOO IS GOING TO REROLL DHOO
<RedDarknut> 20h | Super Cover on BlueDarknut | +6 Defense Dice
<DM> go ahead
<Dhoo> $27D10
<Navi> Dhoo: You rolled 27 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 7, 8, 8, 8, 6, 10, 2, 6, 7, 10, 9, 3, 7, 6, 7, 4, 1, 7, 5, 10, 2, 10, 5, 6, 10, 3 and 8. Total: 175. Successes: 26.
<DM> *Close... anyone wanna reroll RedDarknut?
* RedDarknut is stunned by the insanity of mariachi music that it trips and rerolls.
<RedDarknut> $34d10
<Navi> RedDarknut: You rolled 34 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 2, 5, 9, 3, 10, 6, 4, 7, 10, 2, 4, 9, 10, 10, 1, 9, 6, 7, 2, 5, 4, 1, 2, 3, 9, 5, 3, 6, 4, 3, 7, 5, 9 and 1. Total: 183. Successes: 23.
<Dhoo> BUENO!
* RedDarknut ends up MISSING...... and also suffers the -3 on all dice rolls.
<RedDarknut> 20h | Super Cover on BlueDarknut | -3 dice on all rolls
<DM> $endturn
<Navi> WindStrike has ended RedDarknut's turn.
<Navi> ROUND 1: BlueDarknut (12), RedDarknut (10), Herian (8), Amilena (5), Maliki (3) and Dhoo (2).
<DM> *Herian, in an attempt to wash away the shame, decides to go Too Manly mode and uses its Shadow Claws vs. Blue Darknut! ($13d10 vs. Courage), +0 Damage | Target loses 3 Defense Dice
<Herian> !roll 13d10
<DM> try $13d10
<Herian> $roll 13d10
<Herian> $13d10
<Navi> Herian: You rolled 13 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 6, 7, 3, 1, 4, 8, 4, 1, 10, 1, 3, 2 and 5. Total: 55. Successes: 6.
<BlueDarknut> $18d10
<Navi> BlueDarknut: You rolled 18 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 6, 2, 5, 7, 2, 7, 1, 3, 8, 5, 6, 5, 7, 8, 4, 4, 3 and 1. Total: 84. Successes: 10.
* BlueDarknut manages to evade the attack.
<BlueDarknut> 4h | -3 dice on all rolls
<DM> $endturn
<Navi> WindStrike has ended Herian's turn.
<Navi> ROUND 1: BlueDarknut (12), RedDarknut (10), Herian (8), Amilena (5), Maliki (3) and Dhoo (2).
<DM> <Amilena> me uses Barrier Blast on Red Darknute. (Roll wisdom) | $20d10, [Damage halved] + Amilena gains a barrier with hearts equal to the amount of damage dealt.
<DM> <Amilena> me also uses her magic candle's burn notice to create a pit of flames (melee attackers must roll wisdom. Failure deals 2 neutral damage and gives -3 successes to the attack)
<Amilena> $12d10
<Navi> Amilena: You rolled 12 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 7, 7, 2, 2, 5, 5, 2, 6, 8, 4, 8 and 5. Total: 61. Successes: 8.
<RedDarknut> $3d10
<Navi> RedDarknut: You rolled 3 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 6, 7 and 2. Total: 15. Successes: 2.
* RedDarknut is hit! ...... no damage, though.
<RedDarknut> 8 - 2 = 6 - 9 (dat armor) = HAH
<RedDarknut> 20h | Super Cover on BlueDarknut | -3 dice on all rolls
<DM> *Pit of flames is up!
<DM> $endturn
<Navi> WindStrike has ended Amilena's turn.
<Navi> ROUND 1: BlueDarknut (12), RedDarknut (10), Herian (8), Amilena (5), Maliki (3) and Dhoo (2).
<DM> *Maliki goes hammer time on the red one!
<DM> <Maliki> Roll your Power -2 dice vs. targets' Power dice
<DM> <Maliki> Damage: +4
<DM> <Maliki> EFFECT 1: Target gets one stack of the Defense Down Affliction:
<DM> <Maliki> Target loses 3 Defense Dice.
<DM> <Maliki> EFFECT 2: Target gets one stack of the Armor Down Affliction:
<DM> <Maliki> Target loses 3 Armor.
* RedDarknut raises its tower shield of doooooom.
<Maliki> $18d10
<Navi> Maliki: You rolled 18 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 3, 9, 1, 9, 9, 6, 1, 5, 6, 3, 3, 4, 4, 6, 6, 7, 3 and 7. Total: 92. Successes: 10.
<DM> (huh, just realized the shadow claw attack earlier shouldn't have worked due to super cover)
<RedDarknut> $27d10
<Navi> RedDarknut: You rolled 27 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 7, 3, 2, 7, 5, 3, 8, 3, 5, 4, 3, 10, 7, 7, 5, 5, 10, 6, 3, 3, 9, 8, 5, 9, 7, 1 and 2. Total: 147. Successes: 19.
<Maliki> woooah i'm severly underpowered
* RedDarknut easily fends off Maliki's hammer attack.
<DM> $endturn
<Navi> WindStrike has ended Maliki's turn.
<Navi> ROUND 1: BlueDarknut (12), RedDarknut (10), Herian (8), Amilena (5), Maliki (3) and Dhoo (2).
<DM> <Dhoo> DHOO WISHES TO GRAPPLE THE RED DARKNUT! ROLL POWER | NO DAMAGE| TARGET IS GRAPPLED IF SUCCESSFULL| Target is both Immobilized (cannot move, including using Cover or Escape) and unable to attack.
<DM> <Dhoo> If either of you take Damage, the other takes Damage equal to half the amount (does not proc itself).
<DM> <Dhoo> On the target’s turn, they can use a Combat Action to roll either ‘Power vs. Power against you’ OR ‘Courage vs. Courage against you’. If the target is successful, the target breaks free from your grapple.
<Dhoo> DHOO MUST DO MATH AGAIN
<Dhoo> $33D10
<Navi> Dhoo: You rolled 33 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 4, 3, 8, 2, 3, 9, 5, 6, 5, 7, 2, 6, 2, 2, 2, 10, 4, 3, 10, 7, 7, 3, 1, 5, 4, 3, 1, 1, 3, 9, 5, 1 and 10. Total: 153. Successes: 18.
<RedDarknut> $27d10
<Navi> RedDarknut: You rolled 27 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 4, 8, 9, 9, 8, 9, 2, 1, 10, 7, 6, 6, 6, 9, 3, 3, 6, 4, 8, 4, 5, 5, 3, 2, 3, 5 and 7. Total: 152. Successes: 18.
<DM> ROLLOFF
<Dhoo> $33D10
<Navi> Dhoo: You rolled 33 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 8, 10, 5, 5, 4, 4, 8, 4, 10, 8, 6, 7, 7, 5, 3, 10, 7, 4, 9, 5, 4, 6, 1, 9, 7, 10, 8, 1, 1, 1, 2, 1 and 8. Total: 188. Successes: 25.
<RedDarknut> $27d10
<Navi> RedDarknut: You rolled 27 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 3, 3, 6, 7, 7, 3, 1, 3, 5, 6, 5, 2, 6, 8, 5, 8, 4, 6, 8, 7, 8, 10, 3, 1, 9, 3 and 4. Total: 141. Successes: 17.
* RedDarknut hath been GRAPPLED!
<DM> *The crowd cheers!
<Dhoo> AH THEY CHEER FOR DHOO YES!
* RedDarknut can no longer Cover BlueDarknut!
<RedDarknut> 20h |  -3 dice on all rolls | Grappled!
<DM> $endturn
<Navi> WindStrike has ended Dhoo's turn.
<Navi> ROUND 2: BlueDarknut (12), RedDarknut (10), Herian (8), Amilena (5), Maliki (3) and Dhoo (2).
<Dhoo> THERE IS NO GREATER THRILL THEN THAT OF LUCHA LIBRE
<DM> *Planning phase, round 2! 10 minutes on timer, till :31
* Amilena throws up the augmented protection on her robe. +4 wisdom.
<Amilena> 5h, 11m | -8 wisdom | pit of flames
<Amilena> 5h, 11m | -4 wisdom | pit of flames (my bad)
<DM> *Enemy actions set.
<DM> $turns
<Navi> ROUND 2: BlueDarknut (12), RedDarknut (10), Herian (8), Amilena (5), Maliki (3) and Dhoo (2).
<DM> *BlueDarknut goes in for a STAB attack with its Claymore on Dhoo! ($18d10 vs. Courage), +16 Damage | If fail, target takes 2 neutral damage and can counterattack!
<RedDarknut> !!!
<BlueDarknut> $18d10
<Navi> BlueDarknut: You rolled 18 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 7, 10, 2, 6, 6, 9, 10, 6, 8, 1, 5, 2, 5, 6, 7, 4, 3 and 1. Total: 98. Successes: 14.
<Dhoo> $26d10
<Navi> Dhoo: You rolled 26 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 5, 1, 9, 10, 10, 6, 2, 9, 2, 9, 6, 5, 4, 3, 7, 5, 8, 6, 9, 4, 10, 9, 3, 8, 2 and 1. Total: 153. Successes: 20.
* BlueDarknut faaaaaails miserably.
<Dhoo> SILLY DARKNUT YOU CANNOT HIT THE GREAT DHOO!
<DM> *COOOOOOUNTERATTACK TIME!
<DM> *Wanna just counter with the action you were gonna do?
<Dhoo> YES
<DM> <Dhoo> DHOO WILL ATTEMPT TO WOLFHUG THE RED DARKNUT! POWER+10 VS POWER! DAMAGE +0 EFFECT 1: Ignore half of target’s Armor as you crackle their bones with your hug.
<DM> <Dhoo> EFFECT 2: Your Grapple with the target ends afterwards.
<DM> <Dhoo> EFFECT 3: Target gets 2 stacks of the Immobilized Affliction:
<DM> <Dhoo>     Target cannot move or use melee attacks (including Cover and Escape).
<Dhoo> $33D10
<Navi> Dhoo: You rolled 33 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 7, 7, 8, 4, 10, 3, 9, 5, 5, 7, 2, 2, 1, 5, 5, 6, 3, 7, 7, 8, 3, 8, 1, 3, 7, 6, 3, 10, 4, 3, 8, 4 and 6. Total: 177. Successes: 22.
<RedDarknut> $27d10
<Navi> RedDarknut: You rolled 27 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 6, 4, 6, 6, 1, 5, 4, 9, 10, 6, 3, 1, 4, 2, 10, 2, 5, 4, 3, 4, 1, 2, 8, 3, 5, 8 and 8. Total: 130. Successes: 15.
* RedDarknut is HIT!
<Dhoo> AH LITTLE RED ONE! DHOO HAS QUITE THE CRUSH ON YOU! HA HA!
<RedDarknut> 22 - 15 = 7 - 4 = 3 damage, but IMMOBILIZED
* RedDarknut literally cannot do anything for the rest of the battle.
<RedDarknut> 17h |  -3 dice on all rolls | Immobilized x2 | COMPLETELY USELESS
<Dhoo> DHOO ASLO TOOK 2 NEUTRAL DAMGE SO RED TAKES 1
<DM> *You hear its bones or possibly armor crackle slightly as you completely disable it.
<Dhoo> 25H 1M
* RedDarknut suddenly feels a slight ting of pain.
<RedDarknut> 16h |  -3 dice on all rolls | Immobilized x2 | COMPLETELY USELESS
<DM> $endturn
<Navi> WindStrike has ended BlueDarknut's turn.
<Navi> ROUND 2: BlueDarknut (12), RedDarknut (10), Herian (8), Amilena (5), Maliki (3) and Dhoo (2).
<RedDarknut> -_-
<DM> $endturn
<Navi> WindStrike has ended RedDarknut's turn.
<Navi> ROUND 2: BlueDarknut (12), RedDarknut (10), Herian (8), Amilena (5), Maliki (3) and Dhoo (2).
<Dhoo> DO YOU WISH TO TAP OUT LITTLE DARKNUTS?
<Dhoo> IF DHOO'S AMIGOS DO NOT GET YOU THIS TIME THEN DHOO WILL!
<DM> *Herian uses its Shadow Claws vs. Blue Darknut again! ($13d10 vs. Courage), +0 Damage | Target loses 3 Defense Dice
<Herian> $13d10
<DM> *The enemy team's darknuts do not tap our, for its balls have yet to drop.
<Navi> Herian: You rolled 13 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 8, 1, 9, 3, 5, 4, 5, 4, 4, 6, 6, 8 and 7. Total: 70. Successes: 8.
<BlueDarknut> $18d10
<Navi> BlueDarknut: You rolled 18 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 9, 10, 6, 6, 6, 1, 9, 2, 5, 2, 6, 4, 2, 5, 3, 2, 10 and 7. Total: 95. Successes: 13.
* BlueDarknut siidesteps that.
<DM> $endturn
<Navi> WindStrike has ended Herian's turn.
<Navi> ROUND 2: BlueDarknut (12), RedDarknut (10), Herian (8), Amilena (5), Maliki (3) and Dhoo (2).
<DM> <Amilena> me uses a focused blast from her wizzrobe wand on the blue Darknut. (Roll wisdom) | $21d10, [+/- 0]
<Amilena> $21d10
<Navi> Amilena: You rolled 21 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 1, 9, 4, 2, 8, 6, 4, 6, 9, 10, 3, 2, 5, 10, 3, 7, 7, 6, 6, 4 and 6. Total: 118. Successes: 15.
* BlueDarknut is screeeeeewed.
<BlueDarknut> $2d10
<Navi> BlueDarknut: You rolled 2 Dice with 10 Sides. Results: 8 and 3. Total: 11. Successes: 1.
* BlueDarknut is completely obliterated as its red companion stands there, useless, while BlueDarknut turns into a bundle of confetti.
* Amilena balances her wand on the tip of her middle finger.
<BlueDarknut> $removeme
<Navi> BlueDarknut has removed theirself from battle.
<Navi> ROUND 2: RedDarknut (10), Herian (8), Amilena (5), Maliki (3) and Dhoo (2).
<DM> *Kay, since RedDarknut literally can't do anything.....
<DM> $init r
<Navi> WindStrike: The bot has been reset.
<DM> *VICTORY!
<Dhoo> AH HA HA! DHOO IS VICTORIOUS!
<Dhoo> SUCH FUN LITTLE PEOPLE YOU ARE!
<DM> *The mariachi band goes (dark)nuts. HEYOOOOOOOO!
* RedDarknut continues to stare blankly at Dhoo.
* Amilena goes and collects some confetti.
<DM> *Alrighty, for rewards...
* Dhoo waves to the crowd.
<Amilena> Hey, red guy. If you don't want to go to pieces like your buddy, start talking.
* WindStrike tosses +30 EXP and $30d8 Rupees to you all. Actually, there were a number of shenanigans and brilliant plays, soo.....
* WindStrike tosses +35 EXp and $35d8 Rupees to you all.
<Dhoo> $35d8
<Navi> Dhoo: You rolled 35 Dice with 8 Sides. Results: 8, 5, 5, 6, 7, 2, 2, 1, 5, 4, 3, 3, 3, 8, 5, 1, 2, 3, 7, 1, 4, 4, 1, 1, 4, 5, 7, 2, 2, 8, 1, 1, 7, 4 and 4. Total: 136.
* RedDarknut would talk, except Darknuts can't speak.
<DM> (except for that one that Red Enrics has)
* RedDarknut stares blankly at Amilena.
<Amilena> $35d8
<Navi> Amilena: You rolled 35 Dice with 8 Sides. Results: 3, 4, 8, 2, 2, 5, 6, 1, 2, 5, 7, 8, 2, 3, 8, 6, 7, 7, 6, 8, 1, 7, 6, 7, 6, 3, 7, 2, 7, 5, 5, 1, 3, 2 and 2. Total: 164.
<Maliki> $35D8
<Navi> Maliki: You rolled 35 Dice with 8 Sides. Results: 2, 8, 4, 8, 5, 3, 2, 7, 4, 6, 3, 4, 3, 5, 4, 3, 6, 3, 8, 2, 8, 4, 8, 2, 8, 2, 4, 7, 4, 3, 2, 7, 4, 3 and 6. Total: 162.
* GreenRobedFigure continues un-exist in the box she was hiding in the whole battle.
<Amilena> (Level 10. Finally.)
<DM> (woot!)
<DM> $2d3
<Navi> WindStrike: You rolled 2 Dice with 3 Sides. Results: 2 and 2. Total: 4.
<DM> *Two Magic Jars drop (not Magic Containers).
<DM> *Annnd for item drop...
<Maliki> I JUST LEVELED HOW DO I DO THAT AGAIN
<Dhoo> i totally forgot to roll crit chance on that wolf hug
<Dhoo> oh well
<DM> *Defender's Claymore x1, Claymore x1, Desertion x1, Tower Shield x1, Soldier Platemail x1, and Charge Platemail x1
<DM> +5 stat points, +1 reroll point
<Dhoo> ill yoink some of those stat points if you please
<DM> and for exp, should be current - amount you needed = your next current
<Amilena> I'll take the regular platemail.
<Dhoo> im going to take all 5
<DM> and the new amount you need jumps to your new level * 5
<Dhoo> you dont get any
<Dhoo> for reals though i might nab that charge platemail
<DM> *The +5 stat points and +1 reroll point is for leveling up, not part of the item drop.
<Maliki> fuch
<Maliki> i think my page is stuffed up
<TheBlueTophat> futsh
<Maliki> maliki is a level lower the  herian
<DM> LOL
<DM> don't worry about the level/exp thing actually
<Dhoo> stealing that platemail
<DM> cause in a week, you're all getting buffed to the new profile
<DM> by "platemail", you mean the charge one?
<Dhoo> yes
<Dhoo> yes i does
<DM> *Okay, normally I'd go to the next floor; however, I am still experiencing an overload of insanity and need to stop existing for the night. You win the battle, the RedDarknut will remain tied for you for next time, and moar of ze new system will probably be in place by then.
<DM> *In the meantime, the mariachi band marches through the room doing a victory dance, and as they leave via the fourth wall, the screen fades to black while you hear the screams of the DM from killing himself.
<DM> -=QUEST PAUSE=-