Please be in London

Please be in London

NOTE: This has ended up being way more complicated than I expected. In fact I'm 75% sure it can't be done.

Based on: No Place Like London - Sweeney Todd (stage version)

Singers required:
>Oldfag
>Newfag
>Femanon

Original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxKl8wbqdJg + https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDLMAn684eg (Alternatively https://youtu.be/zeeE9gCt_Zo?t=273 which contains the spoken parts)
Instrumental https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rK7Bl4Woho

Newfag:
I have trolled the boards
Seen their butthurt
Then I saw a post
Claiming that it was a girl
I said please be in London!
Posting memes again

If she posts tits maybe she'll be my girlfriend

Together - Newfag: I said please be in London!
Together - Oldfag: You said please be in London

Newfag (Spoken): Anonymous?

Oldfag:
You are new...
You haven't trolled the boards...
You will learn.

(spoken) So, newfag. I want you to understand how things used to be,
before you ruined everything and killed this beautiful board for all of us.

Femanon:
Tits! Tits!
I am going to show tits!
If you visit my twitch stream...

(spoken) Come on, anon, come on

How would you like a little cleavage?
A little squish squish
A small window of gameplay?
Wouldn't you like to gank my top lane?
Looks to me, there
Like you've got something to say

Tits! Tits!
I am going to show tits!
Don't you want to see them-
Hey, don't I know you, anon?

Oldfag (spoken, angry): Why are you spamming your shit here! Get the fuck out cunt!

Femanon:
Don't you want a little bit of lewd?
We go bounce bounce-

Oldfag (spoken, angry): I said get the fuck out!

Femanon:
Hehehehehe
Tits! Tits!
I am going to post tits!

Newfag: Honestly anon, there's no need to sperg out, there are plenty of girls here.
Maybe if you'd accept that you'd get yourself a girlfriend.

Oldfag (spoken):
I don't mean to shitpost, newfag
But I feel it should be said
This board has been my home
Now it's all faggots, everywhere. Like you.

Newfag (spoken): Well I'm not a faggot

Oldfag (spoken): Fuck off, newfag

Newfag (spoken): But anon, before you go -

Oldfag (spoken): What now?

Newfag (spoken): I know that you've been here longer than me but I don't see how that makes a difference. You were a newfag once too, you know. Maybe you should respect us a bit more, it's not like we've done anything wrong...

Oldfag: No!
There's a meme on the site and you know of it
You spout it out so you can feel you fit
A post claims it's a girl and that she'll show tits
And you say "please be in London"
You don't understand all the words you spew
All your dumb faggot friends underaged and new
Turning boards into dumb meme-fests
I too have trolled the boards and seen their butthurt,
Newfags see a post that's claiming they're a qt girl
They say please be in London!

There was a vidya board called /v/
And it was cynical...
A stupid vidya board called /v/
It really meant a lot to me
And it was cynical
And it was full of wit
And I was... naive.
There was another group who saw
That it was cynical...
A group of faggots from a site
Who didn't understand our spite
They didn't want to know our dreams
They wanted shitposting and memes
And they would win.
So memed
So spammed
So wrecked
And oh, so cynical

Newfag (spoken): The board, is it still the same?

Oldfag:
Oh, it's been many years a shell...
I doubt that they remember well...
(spoken)
I'd like to say fuck you, newfags.
If you hadn't come here,
The board would have still been great.

Newfag (spoken): Will I see you again?

Oldfag (spoken):
You might find me, if you like, on cuckchan... Just kidding, fuck those guys.

Oldfag:
There's a meme on the site and you know of it
You spout it out 'cause you're a dumb fat shit
A post claims it's a girl and that she'll show tits...