Approaching The Edge

>The early morning wind cut through you as you walked to the edge of town
>Pretty much none of the ponies were up at the ass-crack of dawn
>Those that were had better things to do than pay attention to you
>Not that you wanted to be bothered anyway
>The thought of what you were about to do occupied your mind enough
>You wanted to end it all
>When you managed to find a way to Equestria, you thought the place would be a happy little bandaid on all your problems
>Looking back you realise how stupid you were
>You're still chronically depressed, and you're still terrible at talking to people
>The only difference now is that your few creature comforts and familiar faces are gone, and the people you can't talk to are now ponies you can't talk to
>All the ponies were pretty friendly, but you just couldn't make friends with them
>It was your own fault, and you knew it
>Finally you'd gotten sick of living day after day of misery and isolation
>After your usual amount of barely any sleep, you got up, got dressed, and set off in the direction of Ghastly Gorge
>You didn't want to distress any of the ponies by having them find the body
>The note you'd left on your door that read simply "Leaving" would hopefully dissuade any investigation
>As you left the town's border, you couldn't help but take one last look back at the place
>It had been your home when you needed one
>If only it had truly felt like home

>"Hey, Anon!"
>A scratchy, familiar voice interrupts your walk
>Rainbow Dash was apparently in the middle of doing a lap around town and had spotted you leaving
>She flies down to hover beside you and shoots you a grin
>"Didn't expect to see you up this early."
>Taking a deep breath, you steel yourself to play nice even though the urge to tell her to fuck off is tempting
>As silly as it might be, you don't want your last impression to be a bad one
"I could say the same for you."
>"Hah! And miss out on training? It takes work to be this awesome."
>You can't help but roll your eyes at her
>That cocky attitude she has is ridiculous
>You're still not sure whether she's completely serious with it
>"Anyway, what're you up to?"
>Having no idea what to tell her, you settle on a vague truth
"Just... walking."
>"All the way out of town?"
"Yeah. It's where I felt like going."
>It's a weak excuse, but it's all you could come up with
>Now you need to get yourself out of this conversation
"I'm gonna keep walking. I'll let you get back to your work out."
>Dash shrugs casually
>"It's not like I gotta go anywhere, I'm just doing endurance flying. We can hang while you walk. Usually I don't have anyone to talk to in the mornings."

>You're on the verge of panic
>Desperately you wrack your brain for a way to ditch her without seeming like a complete jerk
>You can't find one
>Resigned to your fate, you continue walking while Dash flies alongside you and chatters about random athletic things
>Even though the conversation was one-sided this was the most you'd talked to anyone in weeks
>It was funny in a way
>Here you are walking the green mile and someone decides now is the time to talk your ear off
>"Hey! Are you listening?"
>Apparently she wasn't just talking to hear herself speak either, which was a surprise
"Sure. You were doing a sports, but then you sportsed too hard and ended up not being able to do the next sports."
>Her face as she attempted to process your response was hilarious
>Though what you said was asinine, it was technically correct which meant she couldn't call you out on not listening
>A small smirk split your otherwise passive demeanor as you watched her sputter before finally giving up
>The walk descends into awkward silence after that
>You expected a silent walk from the beginning, so you didn't mind
>Being left to your thoughts meant the apprehension started to creep in
>To be honest, you were scared of dying
>It wasn't something you romanticised like some people seemed to
>You were just too damn worn down to keep going
>You needed an out, and this is the only one that would really work
>Rainbow Dash seems to pick up on your mood and starts talking about the happier things that her and her friends have been doing
>It only serves to make you feel more alone
>She's just trying to be nice though, so you pay enough attention to nod along at the appropriate times and answer if she asks anything
>Soon enough she'll be gone and you'll be by yourself again

>That thought hurts more than it should
>It's not as if you feel any less alone when you have someone near you, so you don't know why you care
>She'll go back to her own life and be better off without you
>Shivers run through you, and they're not just from the cold
>Knowing how irrelevant you are is a sobering thought
>"You alright, Anon? You seem cold"
>Dash saw you shivering, it seems
"I'm fine, it's no big deal," you mumble awkwardly
>"Dude, you're shaking. You've got a jacket at home, right? Lemme go grab it for you."
>Is she serious?
>The two of you are already most of the way to the gorge
"Really, it's nothing. You don't need to go that far for me."
>"Far? Pssh. You underestimate The Dash. I'll be back in no time flat."
>With that she's off like a rocket
>A minute later and she's already a dot on the horizon
>Seems like she wasn't bluffing
>You couldn't get a bead on that pegasus
>Bouncing from cocky and aloof to eager to please
>As your thoughts wander, you realise something and your stomach drops
>The note you left on your door was in plain view

>When she gets back, you wouldn't be able to pretend you were simply on a walk anymore
>There wasn't time to get away because she was so damn fast
>This was going to be an awkward confrontation
>After a few more minutes you hear Dash zipping back towards you
>You look over as she flies near your shoulder with your jacket in hoof and a concerned look on her face
>Ignoring the look you take the jacket and thank her quietly
>She's obviously trying to figure out how to ask about the note
>After a couple false starts she frowns and just blurts it out
>"So, um... you're leaving?"
"Yeah."
>A blunt answer for a blunt question
>She rubs her neck awkwardly and pauses before her next question
>"Why? Do you not like Ponyville?"
>That gets a small chuckle out of you
"Nah. It's nice. Probably the most picturesque place I could think of, actually."
>She looks at you expectantly and you take a deep breath as you try to form some sort of answer she would accept
"I just don't really belong there."
>Judging by her incredulous glare that wasn't the response she wanted
>"How could you think that? We're not such big jerks that we'd kick you out just because you're a 'hyooman' or whatever."
>It was cute how determined she is to defend her town
"That's not what I mean. It's more than just my species that's out of place."
>You wave her off as you turn and resume walking
"Doesn't matter, anyway. I'll be out of your hair, so don't worry about it."

>Several seconds of tense silence go by
>"What the hay?!"
>Dash wasn't going to let the silence continue, of course
>"So you're gonna leave, just like that? Not even gonna say goodbye? Or give us an address so I- I mean, so the girls can write you?"
"You say that like it matters."
>The edge of the gorge is in sight now
>Briefly you imagine walking over and jumping with Dash watching since she doesn't want to leave you alone
>You're not that cruel, though
>"Of course it matters! We like having you around, dummy."
>That makes you roll your eyes
"You don't need to be nice. I know what I'm like."
>"That... what- UGH!"
>She was starting to get annoying
>It's not like you asked for her to follow you out here
>"I don't know what you think you're like, but your friends like you. So you are way wrong."
"What friends?"
>You manage to keep most of the bitterness out of your voice
>Dash's jaw drops and she's momentarily speechless
>"Are you SERIOUS? What is wrong with you, dude?"
>If only she knew
"A lot."
>"No kidding! I can't believe you even said that."
>You frown at her
"What? I can barely make myself talk to people most of the time. How am I friends with anyone?"
>"You talk to ponies all the time!"
"Really?"
>"Duh! You're always talking to Twilight whenever you get books, and when you work for Applejack you talk to her and her family. And me!"

>She's not really making her point here
"You?"
>"Yeah, me. Did you forget all the times I've asked you to help me with my flying?"
"Ah, that."
>The town seemed to have almost no professional fliers, and reading about aeronautics and aviation was something of a hobby of yours
>When she found out, she'd drafted you to critique her when she was doing something new
>So technically you talked to people, when the situation forced you to
>The rest of the time you spent holed up in your house, either too anxious about failing or too depressed to try
"Talking to someone at work or practice makes them a friend? You ponies have low standards."
>Dash smacks her face with her hoof
"Do you really not get it? Ugh, what do I have to do to get it through your thick skull?"
>Anger starts to well up in you and you clench your hands into fists
>It had been hard to work up the guts to come out here and now you were just standing around arguing like an idiot
"I should be asking you that. You don't need to waste your time on me. Go home and go on with your life, you'll be better off without me."
>She was getting angry as well, her glare boring into you
>"That's stupid. You're stupid! If that's why you're leaving Ponyville then you should just come back."
>A frustrated growl slips from you, your composure slipping away
"Go back and keep being fucking useless? Sounds like a great plan. I love spending every day hating myself and feeling like a piece of shit!"
>Dash seems shocked at the sheer vitriol you're directing at yourself
>Your eyes start to burn with tears and you feel your hands shaking
"I can't do it anymore, Dash. I'm sick of being a worthless waste of space. It's better if I just..."
>You trail off, not wanting to reveal what you were planning
>There's a look of dismay on her face as she struggles to form a response
>"Is that really how you feel?"
>Silence answers that question for her
>"Anon, I- I didn't know."

>It's become difficult to meet her eyes
>Awkward tension hangs between the two of you as neither knows what to say next
>She's clearly out of her depth here
>Finally you break through the uncomfortable air
"It's not your problem. You can just leave-"
>You were cut off by an annoyed groan and a shove to the shoulder
>"Would you LISTEN to me, Anon? I'm your friend, dummy. I'm not gonna leave you when you need me."
"You don't need to do that. It's better if-"
>Her hoof is shoved over your mouth to interrupt you again
>She stares intently into your eyes with determination and compassion
>"No."
>It's apparent that she's not going to let it go, despite how you've been trying to push her away
>"Whatever you need, I'm here for you. No matter what, I've got your back, okay?"
>A surge of emotion overwhelms you, and you pull away from her
>You're barely holding back tears, repressed sobs shaking through you
"Don't fucking do this to me, Dash. Don't..."
>When she wraps you in a tight hug, the dam breaks
>Clinging to her, you sob into her fur as all your emotions rush to the surface
>You don't know how long you cry, but Dash holds you the entire time, speaking soft assurances
>Finally you calm down and pull away from her
>Once you've wiped your eyes you notice the sizeable wet spot you left on her shoulder
"Sorry about that."
>With a weak chuckle you point at the damp fur
>She glances over at where you point and shoots you a grin
>"Ah, no biggie. I've had clouds do worse."
>Giving you a searching look, she hesitates briefly before voicing an important question
>"So, do you wanna go back now?"

>It takes you a second to get over the nerves of going back and trying to face life again
>But that pleading, eager look Dash is giving you reminds you that you won't be doing it alone
"Yeah. Let's go home, Dash."
>"Alright!"
>She does a quick spin in the air and you can't help but chuckle at her enthusiasm
>Giving one last look at the gorge, you turn purposefully away and start your trip back
>"Y'know, um, we should probably ask Twilight for help. I'm not really good with feelings and junk."
>Before today you would have said the same about her
>Apparently she's good enough
>Still, you always figured you needed a psychologist, it might as well be a purple horse
>You nod your head in agreement, silently contemplating the future now that you have one again
>It still didn't seem all that bright, and you were sure things were going to be just as hard as before
>But now you have a friend to help you through it