SO DONE - Cerxes/Prexor/Leeroy

[00:49] <Roland> ==START!==
[00:49] <Roland> Critted insight roll:
[00:49] <Roland> This gentleman holds an extremely important position within the government.
[00:50] <Roland> His austere uniform is decorated with medallions, and pauldrons with the funky little tassels on them.
[00:50] <Roland> All in a garish purple.
[00:50] <Roland> Other insight roll:
[00:50] <Roland> He looks cool, you guess?
[00:51] <Prexor_Zozavo> But, does he look maulable?
[00:51] <Cerxes_Khesed> Prexor no.
[00:51] <Roland> You asked, "what have they done to become •°♡°• the condemned? •°♡°•"
[00:51] <Roland> He doesn't reply.
[00:51] <Roland> You cannot maul him! You would create a time paradox!
[00:52] <Prexor_Zozavo> Ugh, fine.
[00:52] <Roland> https://youtu.be/APH1LIJaq7A?t=10
[00:52] <Prexor_Zozavo> Stupid time.
[00:52] <Cerxes_Khesed> To confirm, this isn't SI right? IE, the guy who waved at me as he was dragging Leeroy away?
[00:52] <Roland> This is, in fact, SI.
[00:53] <Roland> You obviously do not know that he is Leeroy's exile.
[00:53] <Roland> However,
[00:53] <Cerxes_Khesed> But I do recognize him?
[00:53] <Roland> Yup
[00:53] <Roland> >HP: He makes me nervous.
[00:53] == vampsquirrel [vampsquirr@cpe-66-56-174-131.sc.res.rr.com] has quit [Quit: http://www.kiwiirc.com/ - A hand crafted IRC client]
[00:54] <Roland> He just keeps standing there.
[00:54] <Roland> He is armed; you can see a saber at his side.
[00:55]  * Cerxes_Khesed feels an overwhelming sense of unease as she sees this man, but gathers her courage to her.
[00:55] <Roland> The tour guide is beginning to look nervous. What will you do now?
[00:56] <Roland> I'm still here, right?
[00:56] <Cerxes_Khesed> I'm typing.
[00:56] <Roland> oh okay
[00:56] <Cerxes_Khesed> :P
[00:56] <Prexor_Zozavo> (I've kinda got nothing to say)
[00:57] <Roland> You can roll insight again if you like.
[00:57] <Prexor_Zozavo> Uh, sure.
[00:57] <Prexor_Zozavo> !Roll 1d20-1
[00:57] <Tyche[Dice]> Prexor_Zozavo rolled : 1d20-1 --> [ 1d20=19 ]{18}
[00:57] <Prexor_Zozavo> That'll do it.
[00:57] <Roland> You realize that the reason he dismissed the guards is because he is very well capable of handling himself in a scrap.
[00:57] <Roland> >VO: Guess the guy's a badass, huh?
[00:58] <Prexor_Zozavo> (was VO mine? I was never told IC)
[00:58] <Roland> (VO is yours. I just use that denotation to let you know that it is your exile talking)
[00:58] <Prexor_Zozavo> (Fair enough)
[00:59] <Prexor_Zozavo> "It appears so."
[00:59] <Cerxes_Khesed> you won't explain? do you just make a habit of •°♡°• locking people up •°♡°• without reason? is that what you did with our friend when you took her?
[01:00] <Roland> "I can arrest you, as well. Please, finish your tour, and do not concern yourself with matters of the state."
[01:01] <Prexor_Zozavo> "WE are not. WE are looking for OUR... Friend."
[01:01] <Roland> ((Ever wondered what it'd be like to fight Fuhrer King Bradley?))
[01:01] <Prexor_Zozavo> (Who?)
[01:01] <Cerxes_Khesed> ((Which anime's version.))
[01:01] <Roland> >VO: Friend huh? That sounds dangerously like progress.
[01:01] <Prexor_Zozavo> "Silence."
[01:02] <Roland> ((Brotherhood's.))
[01:03] <Roland> "Oh? Awful mouthy, aren't you Mister Zozavo?"
[01:03] <Cerxes_Khesed> ((FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU))
[01:03] <Roland> ((Man, he walked right into that!))
[01:03] <Prexor_Zozavo> "YOU be silent as well."
[01:04] <Roland> He laughs derisively. "Believe me when I say I could slice you to ribbons before you even had the chance to draw those lovely sabers of yours." he says, with something of a grin.
[01:04] <Prexor_Zozavo> "YOU know nothing of MY power."
[01:04] <Cerxes_Khesed> •°♡°• prexor. •°♡°•
[01:04] <Roland> ((relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUCB9EOl-4M))
[01:05] <Roland> Ugh stupid
[01:05] <Prexor_Zozavo> "YOU be silent as well."
[01:05] <Roland> (( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUCB9EOl-4M ))
[01:06] <Cerxes_Khesed> ugh, why do you have •°♡°• absolutely no survival instinct????•°♡°• but i suppose it doesn't matter...
[01:06] <Roland> He snaps his fingers, and half a dozen guards step out of the shadows, dressed differently from the other guards. "Escort them out, please."
[01:07] <Prexor_Zozavo> "What happened to being able to hold YOUR own?"
[01:07] <Cerxes_Khesed> we're •°♡°• here for our friend, •°♡°• and we're not leaving without her!
[01:07] <Roland> "Oh? That's interesting. You're challenging me to a duel?" he asks, addressing Prexor.
[01:07] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I said nothing of the sort."
[01:08] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I am merely accusing YOU of being a coward."
[01:08] <Roland> ((Matt I swear to God I will KO you again you cannot handle this guy just trust me on this matter))
[01:08] <Prexor_Zozavo> (im sorry, prexor is very stupid)
[01:08] <Roland> >VO: Kid, are you sure you wanna sass this guy? He, uh, looks pretty intimidating.
[01:09] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I said silence."
[01:09] <Roland> You feel a presence looming over you, despite the fact that no one's moved an inch in the last 30 seconds.
[01:09] <Roland> Roll insight
[01:09] <Prexor_Zozavo> !Roll 1d20-1
[01:09] <Tyche[Dice]> Prexor_Zozavo rolled : 1d20-1 --> [ 1d20=4 ]{3}
[01:09] <Cerxes_Khesed> Can... can I assist or
[01:09] <Cerxes_Khesed> Also roll insight
[01:09] <Cerxes_Khesed> In the interest of keeping his dumb aquarian ass alive.
[01:10] <Roland> Prexor cannot resist this soul-crushing presence.
[01:12] <Prexor_Zozavo> I do not care.
[01:12] <Prexor_Zozavo> I hold my ground.
[01:13] <Roland> The Seventh Inquisitor rolls his eyes. "Oh, please, then. By all means, don't leave. See if I care."
[01:14] <Prexor_Zozavo> "YOU have no authority over whether or not I am allowed to leave."
[01:14] <Prexor_Zozavo> "But I made a promise, and I shall keep MY word."
[01:14] <Prexor_Zozavo> "WE are finding LEEROY."
[01:14] <Roland> "I need Leeroy for... reasons."
[01:15]  * Cerxes_Khesed shakily, takes a battle stance
[01:16] <Cerxes_Khesed> we can't let you keep our friend... •°♡°• a pretty guardian doesn't leave friends behind•°♡°•
[01:16] <Roland> "Oh, what, you want to fight these gentlemen? The fine fellows of the Dersite Special Operations Division?" The tour guide has begun quietly ushering out the other tourists.
[01:17] <Cerxes_Khesed> if this is the only way to get leeroy back... then we •°♡°• cannot be afraid!•°♡°•
[01:26] <Roland> Hm. So you're going to fight?
[01:28] <Prexor_Zozavo> just, give us a second
[01:28] <Prexor_Zozavo> we may or may not have got this
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[01:29] <Roland> In another part of the castle, just beyond that door, Leeroy wakes up in a cell.
[01:30] == tangledThespian has changed nick to Leeroy_Church
[01:31] <Roland> Your dersite pajamas have been replaced with purple prison clothing. A brief inspection of your sylladex shows you to have all of your gear; you can't pick the pockets of a sylladex
[01:31] <Leeroy_Church> How do I feel? Groggy? Still drugged?
[01:31] <Roland> Groggy, but in a relatively refreshed sense of the word. It was a good sleep.
[01:32] <Leeroy_Church> Welp. First things first: need gear.
[01:32] <Roland> If Cerxes and Prexor are fighting, they can roll initiative.
[01:32] <Leeroy_Church> Time to try out the new stuff.
[01:32] <Cerxes_Khesed> Already did. 14+3=17 initiative
[01:32] <Prexor_Zozavo> i did not
[01:32] <Prexor_Zozavo> !Roll 1d20+2
[01:32] <Tyche[Dice]> Prexor_Zozavo rolled : 1d20+2 --> [ 1d20=6 ]{8}
[01:32] <Roland> lel
[01:32] <Prexor_Zozavo> alright, good start.
[01:32] <Roland> !roll 4#d20+2 spec-ops guys
[01:32] <Tyche[Dice]> Roland rolled : 4#d20+2 spec-ops guys --> [ 1d20=6 ]{8}, [ 1d20=4 ]{6}, [ 1d20=18 ]{20}, [ 1d20=1 ]{3}
[01:33] <Roland> SI will refrain from combat for the present.
[01:33] <Prexor_Zozavo> Can you roll initiative just in case?
[01:33] <Roland> For SI?
[01:33] <Prexor_Zozavo> eeyup
[01:33] <Prexor_Zozavo> also, can you give us a layout of the hallway we're currently in
[01:33] <Roland> !roll 1d20+5
[01:33] <Tyche[Dice]> Roland rolled : 1d20+5 --> [ 1d20=3 ]{8}
[01:33] <Prexor_Zozavo> so, would he go before or after me?
[01:34] <Roland> Before; he has the higher mod
[01:34] <Prexor_Zozavo> usually it's highest modifier, so i imagine he would
[01:34] <Prexor_Zozavo> yeah
[01:34] <Leeroy_Church> So, geared up here. What am I looking at? A lone cell?
[01:34] <Leeroy_Church> Anyone around me?
[01:34] <Leeroy_Church> Anything going on just outside that I can see?
[01:35] <Cerxes_Khesed> Give it a minute I'm sure you'll start hearing sounds of battle.
[01:35] <Leeroy_Church> Give it a minute and you may here bashing sounds.
[01:35] <Roland> Anyway, you're at the end of what is probably a 30 foot wide hallway. Columns stand at regular intervals on the sides as decoration more than support. Leeroy stands in a lone cell. There's a bunk, a toilet, and a sink. The thing keeping you in is a single door, steel, reinforced.
[01:35] <Leeroy_Church> *hear
[01:35] <Roland> You are alone
[01:35] <Leeroy_Church> Hm.
[01:36] <Leeroy_Church> Bars, or a solid wall?
[01:36] <Roland> Solid wall. Like solitary on alcatraz, but with more light.
[01:36] <Leeroy_Church> Welp, there's plan one gone.
[01:36] <Roland> Roll insight
[01:37] <Leeroy_Church> 6+3=9.
[01:38] <Roland> Hm. There might be a structural weakpoint somewhere?
[01:38] <Leeroy_Church> Checking the door hinges.
[01:38] <Roland> Roll investigation.
[01:39] <Leeroy_Church> 17+1=18
[01:39] <Roland> They're not rusty, but they'd give easier than a solid brick wall, and they're more likely to give into a place that, y'know, isn't another cell.
[01:40] <Leeroy_Church> Oh good. They exist.
[01:40] <Leeroy_Church> HAMMERIN TIME.
[01:40] <Roland> One of the spec ops guys opens fire with what looks like a remington ACR.
[01:40] <Roland> !roll 1d20+2 to hit Prexor, probably
[01:40] <Tyche[Dice]> Roland rolled : 1d20+2 to hit Prexor, probably --> [ 1d20=7 ]{9}
[01:41] <Roland> The burst goes wide, as prexor has the presence of mind to duck a little.
[01:41] <Roland> Cerxes can attack if she likes
[01:41] <Cerxes_Khesed> Sure.
[01:41] <Roland> Dont' forget the columns. They'll make your lives easier.
[01:42] <Roland> leeroy hears the sound of gunfire. Roll strength to bash the shit out of the door
[01:42] <Leeroy_Church> .....
[01:42] <Leeroy_Church> 20, baby.
[01:42] <Roland> nat 20?
[01:42] <Cerxes_Khesed> Oh thank god.
[01:42] <Leeroy_Church> AW YEAH.
[01:42] <Prexor_Zozavo> oo bb
[01:42] <Roland> You blow the door off it's fucking hinges.
[01:43] <Leeroy_Church> She's got no idea what's going on.
[01:43] <Leeroy_Church> But two things are clear.
[01:43] <Roland> The gunfire came from your left.
[01:43] <Leeroy_Church> One, there's a fight going on. And two, she's about to join it.
[01:43] <Leeroy_Church> So..
[01:43] <Roland> There is another reinforced door behind it, with what looks like a keycard reader by the exit.
[01:43] <Roland> Or, y'know, in the direction of the gunfire. You know what i mean
[01:43] <Leeroy_Church> "LEEEEEROOOOOOYYY CHUUUURRRRRCHH!!"
[01:43] <Cerxes_Khesed> Just to be clear, where is the Solitary door in relation to both us and the other group?
[01:44] <Roland> Behind you a little.
[01:45] <Roland> Like I said, locked on both sides with a keycard reader.
[01:45] <Leeroy_Church> How far away was it?
[01:45] <Roland> From you? Oh, you wanna shoulder charge it. Far enough.
[01:45] <Leeroy_Church> Well. First I want to have a drink.
[01:46] <Roland> oh. okay
[01:46] <Leeroy_Church> So if I'm entering combat.. That'll be my major.
[01:46] <Roland> just... roll initiative when you break down the door
[01:46] <Leeroy_Church> Downing the Killshot Kiwi Gamerade.
[01:47] <Roland> that'll be where you fit in the combat
[01:47] <Leeroy_Church> ....2.
[01:47] <Roland> okay. So, plus side: we don't have to retcon you into combat. Minus side: that's a shitty fucking roll
[01:48] <Leeroy_Church> After the door buster, I'll live with that.
[01:48] <Roland> Cerxes is making an attack, right?
[01:48] <Cerxes_Khesed> Yeah, I am.
[01:50] <Cerxes_Khesed> Time to bust a nut. 12 +3=15 to throw one of those giant ass acorns into the middle of the enemy group.
[01:51] <Roland> Huh. Expected you to use those in alchemy. Oh well. Roll damage equal to a tier 2 grenade (4d8)
[01:52] <Roland> (and roll it 4 times)
[01:53] <Cerxes_Khesed> Ok {6+3+2+2=13} {5+1+2+8=16} {5+1+4+4=14} {2+3+3+5=13}
[01:54] <Roland> The blast knocks the four special forces guys down, dealing quite a bit of damage to them. The Inquisitor is fast, though. His dodge looks almost like a flashstep.
[01:55] <Roland> He stands patiently for his turn. Prexor actually tied with one of the guys for initiative. As a player, I'm letting him go first.
[01:59] <Roland> so, uh, go ahead prexor
[02:00] <Prexor_Zozavo> (sorry, its really late, i may need to go to bed)
[02:00] <Cerxes_Khesed> Noooo
[02:00] <Prexor_Zozavo> (im really sorry)
[02:00] <Roland> Welp. We got something done.
[02:00] <Roland> I'll go ahead and pastebin.
[02:00] <Roland> ==PAUSE==
@Roland ==UNPAUSE==
Cerxes_Khesed So where were we again
Leeroy_Church I think we were on Prexor's turn.
Leeroy_Church SI was generously letting him go first.
@Roland But Cerxes has actions left, I reckon. She just threw a nut
Cerxes_Khesed I moved behind a pillar I think
@Roland Ah. Okay. After you then, Prexor
Cerxes_Khesed Wait, hold on
Cerxes_Khesed can I like
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[23:09] <Roland> ?
[23:09] <Prexor_Zozavo> ^this meme
[23:10] <Cerxes_Khesed> If I picked a pillar close to Leeroy's door (which IDK where that'd be I'm still having trouble visualizing) could I try messing with the keypad?
[23:10] <Roland> Haha, Leeroy just came in, Cerxes
[23:11] <Leeroy_Church> Nnnnno?
[23:11] <Roland> She blew the door off its damn hinges, right?
[23:11] <Cerxes_Khesed> Oh I thought she was getting ready to bust the door down.
[23:11] <Leeroy_Church> I'm one keypadded door shy.
[23:11] <Prexor_Zozavo> I thought there was a second keypad?
[23:11] <Roland> Just roll your shoulder charge
[23:11] <Leeroy_Church> But I'm dead last.
[23:12] <Leeroy_Church> 2 for initiative, remember?
[23:12] <Roland> Roll your shoulder charge for me before my head hurts any more than it already does.
[23:12] <Leeroy_Church> Gotcha b0ss.
[23:12] <Leeroy_Church> 16+4+2=22.
[23:14] <Leeroy_Church> Assuming I hit, rolling to shove is athletics, yes?
[23:14] <Roland> That roll alone will be adequate.
[23:14] <Roland> NOW you're dead last.
[23:14] <Leeroy_Church> Good enough!
[23:14] <Cerxes_Khesed> So, BOOM! Leeroy's door busts down.
[23:14] <Leeroy_Church> "fuck thats good gamerade."
[23:15] <Roland> Sho nuff. It's now prexor's turn.
[23:15] <Prexor_Zozavo> I disregard this new distraction, and change my maul into revolver mode, aiming it at the nearest minion.
[23:16] <Prexor_Zozavo> (Dex to hit, right?)
[23:16] <Roland> yup
[23:16] <Cerxes_Khesed> •°♡°• leeroy! •°♡°•  you're okay!
[23:16] <Prexor_Zozavo> !Roll 1d20+2
[23:16] <Roland> ((tyche is kill))
[23:16] <Leeroy_Church> (Oh right. AC is 19 while charge is on cooldown)
[23:16] <Prexor_Zozavo> (right, im not paying attention)
[23:16] <Prexor_Zozavo> 19+2=21
[23:17] <Leeroy_Church> "damn stra1+. ..wa1+ wuts shrkba1+ do1n here?"
[23:17] <Prexor_Zozavo> 2d6+2=13 damage, which I can post the screenshot for, because 5 and 6 on a 2d6 is pretty unlikely
[23:18] <Prexor_Zozavo> "WE are here to find YOU."
[23:18] <Roland> "Naw, s'alright. Ah b'lieve 'im." - Joel, from The Last of Us. You do 13 damage to Dude 1. Dude 1 is his actual callsign. Gotta love that Dersite military.
[23:18] <Cerxes_Khesed> it's okay, he made me a •°♡°• promise! •°♡°• he's helping.
[23:19] <Leeroy_Church> Cue jawdrop.
[23:20] <Leeroy_Church> "omfg fr1endsh1p actually saves the fuck1n day. wutevs lets just k1ll these guys."
[23:20] <Prexor_Zozavo> (Can I use my revolver a second time with minor action?)
[23:21] <Prexor_Zozavo> (usually I need two guns, don't I?)
[23:21] <Roland> >SI: Haha, good luck killing me, kid. Lemme know how that works out for ya.
[23:21] <Roland> (Usually, you do. You only have one for the present.)
[23:21] <Prexor_Zozavo> (yeah, exactly, so no second shot?)
[23:21] <Roland> (Nope. Maybe another day.)
[23:21] <Leeroy_Church> "..at least the l1+tle guys. b1g dude and me r due 4 a chat."
[23:22] <Prexor_Zozavo> I'm gonna use my minor to attempt to intimidate someone
[23:23] <Roland> Okay.
[23:23] <Prexor_Zozavo> Let's say dude 1, because screw that guy, he's a wimp.
[23:23] <Prexor_Zozavo> He got shot, only wimps do that.
[23:23] <Prexor_Zozavo> 14+4=18
[23:23] <Roland> <--has been shot numerous times in the past
[23:23] <Roland> (un moment, si vous plait)
[23:23] <Prexor_Zozavo> (kk)
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[23:24] == asshole has changed nick to Roland_
[23:24] <Roland_> ((Lel forgot about that handle))
[23:24] <Leeroy_Church> (Roland you asshole)
[23:24] <Cerxes_Khesed> (aha what)
[23:25] <Roland_> Prexor, he critted the resist. I am sorry.
[23:25] <Prexor_Zozavo> Dang.
[23:25] <Prexor_Zozavo> Alright, end turn.
[23:25] <Roland_> You still have a move if you wanna dive for cover
[23:25] <Leeroy_Church> Wow. Dude 1 is tough.
[23:25] <Prexor_Zozavo> Wait, if I go for cover
[23:26] <Prexor_Zozavo> Can I still run up to someone into melee range next turn?
[23:26] <Roland_> Sure
[23:26] <Prexor_Zozavo> Alright, then yeah, TAKE COVER!
[23:26] <Prexor_Zozavo> End turn
[23:26] <Roland_> Wait
[23:27] <Roland_> Prexor, roll acrobatics for a little fun
[23:27] <Leeroy_Church> DO A BARREL ROLL.
[23:28] <Prexor_Zozavo> ...
[23:28] <Prexor_Zozavo> 3+2=5
[23:28] <Cerxes_Khesed> .... dis gon b good
[23:28] <Roland_> Haha, don't worry about it then
[23:28] <Roland_> You take cover like a boring person.
[23:28] <Roland_> Quite thrilling.
[23:29] <Roland_> Next I believe the other two guys were up?
[23:29] <Prexor_Zozavo> I'd rather fail spectacularly than succeed boringly.
[23:29] <Prexor_Zozavo> Can I take the 5 to fail covering?
[23:29] <Leeroy_Church> Guess so? I just know I'm last.
[23:30] <Roland_> The last two guys go. One shouts "COVER!", and chunks a grenade
[23:30] <Leeroy_Church> ...Welp.
[23:31] <Roland_> The three of you are fairly well spaced out, so he picks Cerxes' column
[23:31] <Roland_> He fails, rolling a 6+2 to hit
[23:31] <Roland_> The grenade explodes just in front of your column. The tinnitus is unbelievable.
[23:32] <Roland_> The next fires a burst at Prexor's column, in an effort to keep him suppressed
[23:32] <Prexor_Zozavo> (Wait, was dude 1 behind cover?)
[23:32] <Prexor_Zozavo> (i didnt roll with disadvantage)
[23:32] <Prexor_Zozavo> (was i supposed to?
[23:32] <Prexor_Zozavo> )
[23:33] <Roland_> No, no, lemme explain: suppression is shooting at someone behind cover to keep them from coming OUT of cover
[23:33] <Prexor_Zozavo> (Yeah, I understand, but it just occured to me that he might have been behind cover)
[23:34] <Roland_> Nah. Though I probably should have done that
[23:34] <Prexor_Zozavo> (Alright, just checking)
[23:34] <Prexor_Zozavo> (continue)
[23:35] <Roland_> He fails, rolling a 5+2. Prexor, roll insight against a DC of 7
[23:35] <Prexor_Zozavo> 13-1=12
[23:35] <Roland_> Yeah, no, this stormtrooper ain't fooling you
[23:36] <Roland_> His aim is terrible, and you may shoot unpenalized next turn
[23:36] <Roland_> That brings us to Leeroy
[23:36] <Leeroy_Church> Sweet. What's the grouping look like on these guys?
[23:37] <Leeroy_Church> As in, how many can I get within a 10 foot radius?
[23:37] <Roland_> Hallway is 30 feet wide. They're spaced at 5 feet apart
[23:38] <Cerxes_Khesed> So like at least 3.
[23:38] <Cerxes_Khesed> Wait
[23:38] <Cerxes_Khesed> No
[23:38] <Roland_> Nah. I'd say two
[23:38] <Cerxes_Khesed> radius not diameter
[23:38] <Leeroy_Church> Hm. Alright then, two
[23:38] <Roland_> If you threw the nade at one of the two guys in the center, you could get three, actually
[23:38] <Leeroy_Church> Lets say.. Dude 1 and grenade bi-or that.
[23:38] <Leeroy_Church> Yes that.
[23:39] <Leeroy_Church> Lets see if I can even hit them.
[23:39] <Roland_> Roll cool down on your charge by the way
[23:39] <Leeroy_Church> Ooo, thanks.
[23:39] <Roland_> Yw bb
[23:39] <Leeroy_Church> Recharged!
[23:39] <Roland_> Okay
[23:40] <Leeroy_Church> 12+2=14 to flashbang them.
[23:40] <Leeroy_Church> So AC sits pretty at 19.
[23:40] <Roland_> A success. Roll damage and blindness
[23:42] <Leeroy_Church> 2+1=3 for blind/debuff, 6+2=8 damage to the guy in the blast zone.
[23:42] <Roland_> Okay
[23:43] <Roland_> Move and minor left. Anything you wanna do with that?
[23:43] <Leeroy_Church> With move, I'll pick a pillar to hide behind, further up than Prexor and Cerxes. AKA 'you gotta git through me, first' position.
[23:44] <Leeroy_Church> Minor to intimidate: the old standby.
[23:44] <Roland_> Yeah, sure. No one's going to hit you, though.
[23:44] <Leeroy_Church> We'll see.
[23:45] <Leeroy_Church> 11+1=12 intimdate. "th1s 1s wut u get 4 try1n 2 conta1n the +1+an, b1+ches."
[23:46] <Roland_> He rolls a 17, and is unimpressed with your terrible quirk.
[23:47] <Roland_> A special ops guy takes his turn, rolling an attack at disadvantage and a -2 penalty
[23:48] <Roland_> Attacking Leeroy, to prove a point
[23:48] <Roland_> ...he crits both rolls
[23:48] <Leeroy_Church> Bring iiiiiiit.
[23:48] <Leeroy_Church> .....
[23:48] <Roland_> ...
[23:48] <Cerxes_Khesed> Bring less of iiiiiit.
[23:48] <Leeroy_Church> ....Do I need to quote you, or can you scroll up and read that?
[23:49] <Roland_> No, yeah, I... Hm.
[23:49] <Leeroy_Church> Roll the damage.
[23:49] <Roland_> 6d2+2=11 damage
[23:50] <Leeroy_Church> "best u can do, scrub?"
[23:50] <Roland_> You gotta admire his marksmanship, even while blind
[23:51] <Roland_> Cerxes' turn
[23:51] <Leeroy_Church> Yes but that would be giving props. Can't buff the enemy.
[23:51] <Roland_> Also, I remind you that your attacks have advantage Cerxes
[23:51] <Cerxes_Khesed> Wait they do?
[23:51] <Roland_> Yup
[23:52] <Roland_> They're blinded for a turn
[23:52] <Cerxes_Khesed> Ok so just regular "roll twice" advantage not "modifiers" advantage.
[23:53] <Roland_> Yup
[23:54] <Cerxes_Khesed> Hm. So, what do we have in terms of the enemies? Dudes 1-4 all blinded, at least Dude 1 major damage?
[23:54] <Roland_> Yup
[23:54] <Leeroy_Church> "take em down wh1le they cant c!"
[23:55] <Cerxes_Khesed> Ok, who's their front line?
[23:55] <Roland_> >SI: "cant c"? Are you shitting me?
[23:55] <Roland_> Also, they ARE the front line, arranged perfectly horizontally
[23:55] <Leeroy_Church> Leeroy shakes her head. ...Is the boss sassing her?
[23:55] <Cerxes_Khesed> (You know it's kind of surprising SI even wants to interrogate you when he can't fucking stand the way you talk.)
[23:56] <Leeroy_Church> (He doesn't know that yet.)
[23:56] <Cerxes_Khesed> Wh-- wait like. SI standing just chill in the middle? He's not even behind the mooks?
[23:56] <Roland_> He's well behind them
[23:56] <Cerxes_Khesed> Oh ok then.
[23:56] <Cerxes_Khesed> I'll take one of the guys in the middle out with a beamspam then.
[23:57] <Cerxes_Khesed> •°♡°•  sunlight breaker, eliminate! •°♡°•
[23:57] <Roland_> Okay
[23:57] <Cerxes_Khesed> Lol ok, with advantage, 18+8=26
[23:58] <Roland_> Roll damage
[23:58] <Cerxes_Khesed> 10+5+8=23 dmg
[23:59] <Roland_> Your sunlight breaker eliminates him
[23:59] <Roland_> It leaves a hole in his chest roughly the size of prexor's head
[23:59] <Roland_> Quite impressive, actually
[23:59] <Leeroy_Church> "daaaaang."
[00:00] <Prexor_Zozavo> "Well then..."
[00:00] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I am impressed."
[00:00] <Cerxes_Khesed> •°♡°• hee, thank you! •°♡°•
[00:00] <Leeroy_Church> "no sh1+. that coulda been u shrkweek."
[00:01] <Roland_> The next guy uses his turn to drag the dead man back into cover closer to SI. SI stands his ground. Prexor's turn
[00:02] <Prexor_Zozavo> Who can I reach from here?
[00:02] <Roland_> Either of the two guys still standing upfront
[00:02] <Prexor_Zozavo> Is Dude 1 one of them?
[00:03] <Cerxes_Khesed> Um, since I didn't actually get to move, can we just say I moved up a column?
[00:03] <Roland_> Dude 1 fell back with the other. And sure why not
[00:03] <Cerxes_Khesed> Thank you.
[00:03] <Prexor_Zozavo> Can I reach anyone if I move up a column and stay behind cover?
[00:03] <Roland_> Np
[00:03] <Prexor_Zozavo> Or will I need to be out in the open to hit someone?
[00:04] <Roland_> You need only duck out of cover to hit someone
[00:04] <Roland_> You know how cover based shooting works, don't you?
[00:04] <Prexor_Zozavo> Well, I was planning to move into melee range so I could use my maul.
[00:05] <Roland_> Ah. Yes, you can reach the front two for melee range
[00:05] <Prexor_Zozavo> And will I still have cover? Or are there no columns near them?
[00:05] <Roland_> Haha, Prexor, you're going to end your turn standing right next to them
[00:06] <Prexor_Zozavo> Eh, better than nothing.
[00:06] <Prexor_Zozavo> I charge, and start maul swinging.
[00:06] <Prexor_Zozavo> (Do I have advantage too, or did the blindness run out?)
[00:06] <Roland_> You still have advantage
[00:07] <Prexor_Zozavo> Alright, with advantage, 19+5=24 to hit.
[00:07] <Roland_> Roll damage
[00:07] <Prexor_Zozavo> 6d6+5=34 damage.
[00:08] <Roland_> Haha, bye Felicia
[00:08] <Prexor_Zozavo> You dead, fool.
[00:08] <Prexor_Zozavo> End turn.
[00:08] <Roland_> Prexor turns the upper half of his target into a fine mist. The maul drinks greedily
[00:08] <Roland_> *Oh, yesssssss*
[00:09] <Leeroy_Church> "..d..dude. d1d ur maul just slurp?"
[00:09] <Roland_> **Mmmm, would you care to try this lovely new form of ours, Bearer?**
[00:10] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I would."
[00:10] <Roland_> (6d2+dex machine gun. 60/100 range)
[00:10] <Prexor_Zozavo> O_O
[00:10] <Prexor_Zozavo> We take those.
[00:10] <Roland_> (Lel)
[00:11] <Roland_> It'll have to wait, I'm afraid, as the other two flee in terror from your advance, steadily back pedaling and shooting
[00:12] <Roland_> 15 and 17 disadvantage on the first, 3d2+2=7 damage
[00:12] <Prexor_Zozavo> (Shooting at me?)
[00:12] <Roland_> 13 and 12 disadvantage on the second, which is, if I remember correctly, a miss. And yes
[00:12] <Prexor_Zozavo> Yes, the 12 is a miss
[00:13] <Roland_> They retreat 15 feet, drawing level with the dead man and dude 1
[00:14] <Roland_> They end their turns, allowing Leeroy to go
[00:14] <Roland_> Roll cool down on your nade
[00:15] <Leeroy_Church> Are they still lined up in front of SI? (no cooldown)
[00:15] <Roland_> Yes
[00:15] <Roland_> 15 feet between them and SI
[00:16] <Leeroy_Church> How much space are we looking at between them now? Not enough to slip by, I'd assume?
[00:16] <Roland_> What do you mean by "slip by?" Run past them and attack SI? No, not enough
[00:17] <Leeroy_Church> Just checking.
[00:17] <Roland_> They do conveniently look like bowling pins right now, though
[00:19] <Leeroy_Church> Well. If they were so kind as to set themselves up..
[00:21] <Leeroy_Church> Charging the center pin. If I hit, center pin and all immediately adjacent enemies are subject to a good ol' push.
[00:21] <Roland_> Yup
[00:21] <Leeroy_Church> 18(!)+4+2=24
[00:22] <Leeroy_Church> AC is now 18.
[00:22] <Roland_> K, you pass his own AC
[00:22] <Leeroy_Church> Rolling athletics.
[00:22] <Roland_> Roll damage, then roll your shove
[00:23] <Leeroy_Church> 3+2+4=9 damage, 13+10=23 to shove.
[00:23] <Roland_> They're knocked over like a bunch of bowling pins. STEEEEEE-RIKE!
[00:24] <Roland_> Center pin is killed, his bones shattered by your onslaught
[00:24] <Leeroy_Church> So.. 15 feet between me and SI, eh?
[00:24] <Roland_> Thereabouts
[00:24] <Leeroy_Church> Oh bb.
[00:24] <Roland_> I've warned you before though
[00:24] <Leeroy_Church> Flashstep.
[00:24] <Roland_> Flashstep? No
[00:24] <Prexor_Zozavo> out of curiosity, how close am I?
[00:24] <Roland_> Only when attacking with the hammer
[00:24] <Prexor_Zozavo> to SI
[00:24] <Roland_> 30 feet
[00:25] <Leeroy_Church> Dangit, only with the hammer?
[00:25] <Prexor_Zozavo> that works
[00:25] <Roland_> Yup. Only with the hammer
[00:25] <Leeroy_Church> -goes to modify sheet-
[00:25] <Roland_> Yeah, shoulda been clearer there
[00:26] <Leeroy_Church> Darn, woulda been cool.
[00:26] <Roland_> Last warning, though: SI is a fight you won't win
[00:26] <Leeroy_Church> Anything left standing within melee?
[00:26] <Roland_> Yes, the two dudes on the ground
[00:26] <Leeroy_Church> ....Shield bashing one of them. Just because.
[00:26] <Roland_> Well, they're TECHNICALLY not standing, but you get my drift
[00:27] <Cerxes_Khesed> does that mean they're prone.
[00:27] <Cerxes_Khesed> >:)
[00:27] <Roland_> Yup
[00:27] <Leeroy_Church> Advantage, eh?
[00:27] <Cerxes_Khesed> -steeples fingers-
[00:27] <Leeroy_Church> Alright, second roll.
[00:27] <Leeroy_Church> ...
[00:27] <Roland_> So many ways you can roll advantage
[00:27] <Leeroy_Church> So, uh.
[00:27] <Roland_> What, you critted?
[00:27] <Leeroy_Church> That ability only works with the hammer? Not shield?
[00:27] <Leeroy_Church> ....On the advantage.
[00:27] <Roland_> Only with the hammer
[00:28] <Leeroy_Church> Still a fucking crit, so yay?
[00:28] <Roland_> Yup. Roll damage
[00:28] <Leeroy_Church> Still considering that offhand, yes?
[00:28] <Roland_> Yup
[00:28] <Leeroy_Church> 4+1=5 damage. WHOO.
[00:29] <Leeroy_Church> Leeroy kicks a man while he's down.
[00:29] <Roland_> He's dead. Your shield decapitates him
[00:29] <Prexor_Zozavo> Savage
[00:29] <Roland_> ^
[00:30] <Roland_> one guy left. He turns to look at SI. SI's face tells him he's better off holding his ground
[00:30] <Roland_> Cerxes can take her turn
[00:30] <Leeroy_Church> Remainder of move spent straightening up and just grinning at SI like a madwoman.
[00:30] <Roland_> "What? You think I'm scared?"
[00:31] <Leeroy_Church> "1+d b the smart move, yea."
[00:31] <Roland_> "Hm. Spunky...." He pauses. "I *hate* it."
[00:31] <Leeroy_Church> "why do 1 fuck1n hate ur vo1ce already?"
[00:31] <Roland_> He doesn't answer.
[00:32] <Roland_> You all hear footfalls echoing from many directions.
[00:32] <Cerxes_Khesed> So, one guy left. He's on the ground, right?
[00:32] <Roland_> Roll insight, all of you.
[00:32] <Prexor_Zozavo> 8-1=7
[00:32] <Roland_> (Lel)
[00:32] <Leeroy_Church> 6+3=9
[00:32] <Cerxes_Khesed> 10+3=13
[00:33] <Roland_> Cerxes realizes that that is very likely the sound of approaching reinforcements.
[00:33] <Prexor_Zozavo> One of these people have distinctly less wisdom than the others.
[00:33] <Leeroy_Church> And the other two aren't surprised.
[00:33] <Roland_> Lelbron.gif
[00:33] <Roland_> Roll perception, Cerxes
[00:34] <Roland_> ((You'll still get a turn))
[00:34] <Cerxes_Khesed> 16+2=18
[00:35] <Roland_> You reckon you have 10 seconds before they get here. You can tell there are quite a few. Many of the footfalls clank, as though the feet are covered in armor.
[00:36] <Roland_> (10 seconds=two rounds)
[00:36] <Cerxes_Khesed> uh, oh, •°♡°• reinforcements! •°♡°•
[00:36] <Leeroy_Church> "u th1nk we got +1me 4 a l1+tle k1dnapp1n?"
[00:37] <Cerxes_Khesed> for-- um, i •°♡°• suppose? •°♡°•
[00:37] <Prexor_Zozavo> "Agreed."
[00:37] <Roland_> >SI: not to sound biased, but no. Absolutely not.
[00:37] <Leeroy_Church> Smirks at SI and shrugs. "karmas a b1+ch dude."
[00:37] <Leeroy_Church> "...why the fuck not?"
[00:37] <Roland_> ((Just for reference: TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY HP))
[00:38] <Prexor_Zozavo> 250 is still less than PLOT.
[00:38] <Prexor_Zozavo> We got this.
[00:38] <Leeroy_Church> ((9d6?))
[00:38] <Roland_> (((KIDNAP THAT IN TWO ROUNDS. I DARE YOU))
[00:38] <Leeroy_Church> ((Also Bill: that was not an error on my part there.))
[00:39] <Roland_> He draws a saber: "Okay. Impress me."
[00:39] <Cerxes_Khesed> well... •°♡°• okay, •°♡°• i suppose, when you put it like that, it's fair...
[00:39] <Cerxes_Khesed> (Still my turn, right?)
[00:39] <Roland_> Yup
[00:40] <Leeroy_Church> "1+s more than fa1r. he can c 1+ com1n."
[00:41] <Cerxes_Khesed> all right. •°♡°• heavenly silver arrow: transfix! •°♡°•
[00:41] <Cerxes_Khesed> 16+3= 19, my guess is, doesn't hit?
[00:42] <Cerxes_Khesed> I guess I'll try Lucky, if it doesn't.
[00:42] <Roland_> You miss, he flashsteps to the side
[00:42] <Cerxes_Khesed> Ok, then I'll use my feat.
[00:42] <Roland_> Have at it
[00:42] <Cerxes_Khesed> Literally the exact same roll.
[00:43] <Roland_> Very close, though, if it makes you feel better
[00:43] <Cerxes_Khesed> Eh.
[00:44] <Roland_> >HP: Cerxes! Please! Just run!
[00:45] <Roland_> >HP: There is no benefit to fighting this cruel person!
[00:45] <Roland_> You wanna do anything else?
[00:47] <Cerxes_Khesed> Hmm. How far away is the exit door?
[00:50] <Cerxes_Khesed> ... @Roland?
[00:50] <Roland_> Pretty close. Assuming you started 10 feet from it, and the columns are arranged in 15 feet intervals?
[00:51] <Cerxes_Khesed> Cool. And I've only moved up once.
[00:51] <Cerxes_Khesed> I'll fall back and get the door.
[00:51] <Roland_> Sorry; got caught up in some stuff. ((No need to use the @ pinging me; just denotes operator status))
[00:51] <Cerxes_Khesed> ((Ah.))
[00:51] <Prexor_Zozavo> (brb one second)
[00:51] <Roland_> ((K. I'm getting more coffee))
[00:52] <Leeroy_Church> ((I'll resist fetching the rest of the chocolate cake in the fridge.))
[00:54] <Roland_> ((I had a pretty good dinner; low in calories, but somewhat voluminous. Makes you feel full without overloading you on calories, y'know?))
[00:54] <Cerxes_Khesed> ((See all you're making me want to do is get chocolate cake.))
[00:54] <Roland_> ((Hm. I should eat more salad.))
[00:54] <Leeroy_Church> ((Yes, and while I did alright today, I did so specifically so I could get that 700cal slice of heaven for dessert. And I ate half of it when I ordered it.))
[00:55] <Prexor_Zozavo> (ok, back)
[00:55] <Roland_> Yey
[00:55] <Prexor_Zozavo> (and now is it food chat?)
[00:55] <Prexor_Zozavo> (i am perfectly fine with this)
[00:55] <Leeroy_Church> ((Allie next time you're in my area, remind me to take you to Poppyseed for this cake. Food's nice too,but THE CAKE.))
[00:55] <Prexor_Zozavo> (my mom made two loaves of banana bread, but we havent gotten to eat any yet)
[00:56] <Cerxes_Khesed> ((Mmm...))
[00:56] <Leeroy_Church> Anyway, we were attempting suicide?
[00:56] <Prexor_Zozavo> whos turn is it?
[00:57] <Roland_> Okay. With all of that said, it's SI's turn, unless Cerxes wants to do some talking, because speech is a free action
[00:58] <Prexor_Zozavo> (ok, welp, new development: i need to go to bed)
[00:58] <Cerxes_Khesed> Goddammit. Really?
[00:58] <Leeroy_Church> ((DAMMIT FOOD CHAT))
[00:58] <Prexor_Zozavo> (i am so sorry)
[00:58] <Prexor_Zozavo> (but yeah, 11pm and school tomorrow)
[00:58] <Roland_> ((Hold up))
[00:58] <Roland_> ((Can you stay long enough to retreat?))
[00:59] <Prexor_Zozavo> (oh, no, retreating is not the plan)
[00:59] <Leeroy_Church> ((Well, it is in about a turn if the plan fails.))
[00:59] <Prexor_Zozavo> (retreat is plan B)
[01:00] <Prexor_Zozavo> (which all depends on my next turn)
[01:00] <Roland_> Okay.
[01:00] <Leeroy_Church> ((Roll fast?))
[01:01] <Cerxes_Khesed> Just run your next turn and then we'll either let Meesh continue with plan A, or we'll "and then we ran for the hills the end."
[01:01] <Prexor_Zozavo> (does SI do anything on his turn?(
[01:01] <Prexor_Zozavo> )*
[01:01] <Roland_> How's your HP looking?
[01:02] <Roland_> All of you
[01:02] <Leeroy_Church> 85%
[01:02] <Cerxes_Khesed> I'm fine, I haven't been hit.
[01:02] <Cerxes_Khesed> 65
[01:02] <Prexor_Zozavo> 60 hp
[01:03] <Roland_> K. Let's end this now, actually.
[01:03] <Cerxes_Khesed> Darn. Not even a scratch on him?
[01:03] <Cerxes_Khesed> We at least were hoping we'd draw blood.
[01:03] <Prexor_Zozavo> same
[01:03] <Roland_> You weren't planning on scratching him, though. At least, not significantly
[01:04] <Prexor_Zozavo> if not just fir maul
[01:04] <Leeroy_Church> Chain maul grapple. Worked on me.
[01:04] <Roland_> Anyway,
[01:04] <Roland_> ==PAUSE==
[01:32] <Roland> ==UNPAUSE!==
[01:33] <Roland> "Very well then..." SI says, drawing his saber (again, if he hasn't already), "Impress m-m-m-m-m-m..."
[01:33] <Roland> He continues repeating that consonant over and over again, then begins slamming his head on a nearby wall.
[01:33] <Roland> And on the ground.
[01:33] <Roland> And probably on a column.
[01:33] <Leeroy_Church> "uh."
[01:33] <Prexor_Zozavo> "What is wrong with HIM?"
[01:33] <Leeroy_Church> "dude. cmon."
[01:33] <Roland> You see sparks flying from various joints of his body, and his skin catches fire.
[01:33] <Roland> From within the wall to your left, you hear a voice say, "Okay, CUT!"
[01:34] <Roland> The wall sliiiiiiiiiides up, and you see...
[01:34] <Leeroy_Church> "now 1s not the +1me 2 gl1+ch-AH FUCK."
[01:34] <Roland> A production crew?
[01:34] <Leeroy_Church> Cue jawdrop.
[01:34] <Roland> "Okay, automaton malfunction. Take five everybody."
[01:34] <Roland> Cameramen immediately flock to the donuts waiting on a nearby table. Several crew members light up cigarettes.
[01:35] <Prexor_Zozavo> I march over to literally anyone.
[01:35] <Prexor_Zozavo> "YOU."
[01:35] <Roland> A particularly important looking dersite wearing a beret walks up to you. "Okay, how much longer we got left on that commerical break?" he asks someone else.
[01:35] <Prexor_Zozavo> "Explain."
[01:35] <Roland> "Easy, easy, baby! It's show business!" he says.
[01:35] <Leeroy_Church> "WUT commerc1al break??"
[01:35] <Cerxes_Khesed> I make my way back over to Leeroy. •°♡°• umm... what is going on? •°♡°•
[01:35] <Roland> "Looklooklook, you three are TERRIBLY important here."
[01:35] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I said to explain!"
[01:35] <Leeroy_Church> "ch1c 1f 1 knew 1d tell u."
[01:35] <Roland> "Like, I'm not sure you understand."
[01:36] <Leeroy_Church> "yea were the stars, but wtf??"
[01:36] <Roland> "Here, here, here, my card." he proffers a card to Leeroy.
[01:36] <Cerxes_Khesed> •°♡°• no •°♡°• i definitely •°♡°• do not •°♡°• ...
[01:36] <Leeroy_Church> She snatches it and looks it over.
[01:36] <Roland> It says: "Television Producer. TP." It has an address and contact number on it.
[01:37] <Leeroy_Church> She giggles, because TP.
[01:37] <Prexor_Zozavo> I retrieve my maul and hold it threateningly at TP.
[01:37] <Cerxes_Khesed> but... but leeroy was •°♡°• kidnapped! •°♡°•
[01:37] <Roland> "Okay," he turns away again. "Can we check the Spasm Plays TV" chat again? Maybe they're the reason this happened?"
[01:37] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I said to explain, so YOU will explain."
[01:37] <Leeroy_Church> Then pockets the card. "yea, bout that."
[01:37] <Leeroy_Church> "ull b hear1n from my agent, dude."
[01:38] <Roland> "Okay, so..." he draws the three of you aside, and makes sure no one else can hear what he says next.
[01:38] <Roland> Then he roughly grabs the three of you in a tight circle. His breath smells like cigarettes and coffee, befitting his high energy demeanor.
[01:38] <Roland> If he had a grapple mod, it'd be +100.
[01:39] <Prexor_Zozavo> I got this. I can break it.
[01:39] <Roland> "Listen, what I do, kiddies, is manage a very careful entertainment network of bloodsports."
[01:39]  * Cerxes_Khesed pouting angrily
[01:39] <Roland> "I keep HIM-" he points upstairs to the throne room Cerxes and Prexor probably saw on their lovely tour a few minutes earlier "-distracted, so that this war doesn't get too popular, you dig?"
[01:40] <Roland> "Cause when we start fighting wars, good people die."
[01:40] <Leeroy_Church> "wtf?"
[01:40] <Leeroy_Church> "WUT WAR?"
[01:40] <Roland> "What? You didn't know there was a war on the horizon?"
[01:40] <Leeroy_Church> "were m1ss1n a WAR do1n th1s sh1+??"
[01:40] <Prexor_Zozavo> "Explain."
[01:40] <Roland> "God you're a moron."
[01:40] <Leeroy_Church> "b1+ch 1m ur fuck1n star and 1ll punch u."
[01:40] <Roland> "Okay, listen, there are legends. Prospit. Derse. War. All the works. And we're supposed to win, sure, but the loss of life... it saddens my heart to see it."
[01:40] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I did not ask for petty insults, I demanded an explanation."
[01:41] <Roland> "So I joined a group, a small, influential, VERY IMPORTANT group, whose goal is to prevent this coming war, or mitigate it, by keeping the brass distracted."
[01:41] <Leeroy_Church> "1s there maybe a f1lm reel 4 th1s expos1+1on we m1ssed??"
[01:41] <Roland> He somehow lights a cigarette with the three of you in a tight circle (I must ask him to teach me his ways).
[01:41] <Roland> "Exposition? Baby, you ARE the exposition!"
[01:42] <Roland> "Fame! Guts! GLORY! You got it all!"
[01:42] <Cerxes_Khesed> you had us kill people. for •°♡°• entertainment. •°♡°•
[01:42] <Leeroy_Church> "yea then why do 1 feel l1ke 1 m1ssed a cutscene?"
[01:42] <Leeroy_Church> She glances at Prexor. "ur modus s+1ll do that th1ng where 1+ sp1+s sharks?"
[01:42] <Roland> "Cutscene? Like in a video game? What, are you a moron? And Cerxes, Darling, That's the showbiz! Drama! Bloodshed! Romance!"
[01:43] <Leeroy_Church> "cuz 1 wanna punch h1m r1ght now."
[01:43] <Roland> "Also, Cerxes, Listen, you'd be doing me a HUGE favor if you smooched Prexor in the next episode."
[01:43] <Prexor_Zozavo> I nod.
[01:43] <Cerxes_Khesed> wh-- •°♡°• WHAT •°♡°•
[01:43] <Leeroy_Church> "but punch1n h1m w1+ a shark would b-FUCK."
[01:43] <Prexor_Zozavo> I raise my maul.
[01:43] <Roland> ((I somehow get the impression that your hostility is being channeled at the DM through TP))
[01:43] <Prexor_Zozavo> "Let ME kill HIM."
[01:43] <Leeroy_Church> ((He called her a moron twice. All her.))
[01:43] <Roland> "Whoa! Whoa! Easy, baby! It's showbiz! Don't kill the messenger!"
[01:44] <Leeroy_Church> "..yea, go for 1+"
[01:44] <Roland> ((Man I'm having the time of my life here))
[01:44] <Roland> "Okay, okay, another thing..."
[01:44] <Cerxes_Khesed> My guess is that I can't perform a beamspam while grappled?
[01:44] <Prexor_Zozavo> I assume I can't grapple while grappled?
[01:44] <Roland> Just listen for now. This actually IS important exposition-wait what prexor
[01:45] <Prexor_Zozavo> I wanna grapple him.
[01:45] <Prexor_Zozavo> It won't WORK.
[01:45] <Prexor_Zozavo> But I want to.
[01:45] <Roland> He pulls out fat stacks of boondollars.
[01:45] <Leeroy_Church> ..I did manage to drop a light grenade while grappled earlier.
[01:46] <Roland> "For each of you. Been meanin' to pay you for a while. Cerxes, your stint in the red light district was GOLD. Prexor, the drama at the tower-" he makes a kissing noise "-lovely! I'll win an AA."
[01:46] <Cerxes_Khesed> Ok, ok. I'm listening, but please imagine Cerxes' expression has gone somewhere
[01:46] <Cerxes_Khesed> p̘̫͍̪̤ọt̲̥̬̱͓̜͜ḙ̘̜̥͍̥̣͞n͖̩̙͚̜͈̠ți̭̺͈á͕ͅl͉̰̞l̻y̱̥͝ͅ ͇̼̀u͚̗̟͟ͅn̴̪̯̟p̩̺̟̮̥ͅl̲̮͍ȩ̭̬̜̞̥a̙̹̹s̫̻̗ͅͅa͓͠n̜̕ṱ̱͈̩͎̦͍͟
[01:46] <Roland> "Second thing, and this is more important: you won't find any of the inquisitors here."
[01:46] <Leeroy_Church> "look, dude. u.." Blink. "wa1+. red l1ght d1str1ct?"
[01:46] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I am going to kill HIM."
[01:46] <Cerxes_Khesed> •°♡°•  it's not important!  •°♡°•
[01:47] <Leeroy_Church> "who the fuckr the 1nqu1s1+ors??"
[01:47] <Roland> "You know? That 'guy' you just tried to kill? That's an inquisitor, baby!"
[01:47] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I am very much going to kill HIM."
[01:47] <Roland> "Sadly, Spasm Plays TV, uh, trolled us a little bit, there."
[01:47] <Leeroy_Church> "no 1 dont no. u been watch1n the sh1+ u f1lm? k1nda new 2 the jo1nt!"
[01:48] <Roland> "Really, the intern that pitched it to us, sweet gal, but ultimately, I knew it was a shortsighted idea."
[01:49] <Roland> "Okay, okay, hang on..." he presses his finger to his ear, "uh huh, uh huh... oh really? You can do that? Great! You're a doll!"
[01:49] <Roland> "Good news! The 3D animation department can more or less semi-realistically render you in a fight with the Seventh Inquisitor!"
[01:49] <Leeroy_Church> "look, 1f u dont wanna get sued so hard by my agent that we get th1s sh1+ pulled offa the a1r, ur gonna g1ve us the 411. now."
[01:49] <Roland> "So you're done here! Take a confab!"
[01:49] <Roland> "The all?" he asks, confused by your quirk.
[01:50] <Leeroy_Church> "a1r. A1R! we d1dnt consent 2 b f1lmed, globesack!"
[01:51] <Roland> "Give you the "a1r?"" he asks.
[01:51] <Roland> "What the heck is that? Listen, did you mean, "four one one?""
[01:51] <Leeroy_Church> "..oh. yea, that."
[01:51] <Prexor_Zozavo> "Let ME kill HIM."
[01:52] <Leeroy_Church> "f1ll us the fuck 1n. or u get sharks 2 the face. and prexor here." Smirk.
[01:52] <Roland> "You can't kill me! My schedule's packed today! I simply don't have space for dying in it!"
[01:52] <Prexor_Zozavo> "YOU will make room."
[01:52] <Leeroy_Church> "then make w1+ the 1nfo."
[01:52] <Roland> "Come by tomorrow. Tell my secretary I gave you the code phrase, which is "I am ugly." Don't forget that."
[01:52] <Leeroy_Church> "ugh." Eyeroll.
[01:52] <Roland> "I'll give you the skinny on everything. The resistance. The network. Everything. Promise."
[01:53] <Leeroy_Church> "not s1gn1n a damn wa1ver un+1l we do."
[01:53] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I refuse to return simply because YOU tell ME to."
[01:53] <Roland> "Return? Baby, it's YOUR confab! Do what you want with it!"
[01:53] <Leeroy_Church> She waves a hand. "dont m1nd h1m."
[01:53] <Roland> "But he's the most popular character!"
[01:53] <Roland> "People LOVE him!"
[01:53] <Leeroy_Church> "....."
[01:53] <Cerxes_Khesed> •°♡°•  ugh  •°♡°•
[01:54] <Leeroy_Church> Does not compute face.
[01:54] <Roland> "Ratings skyrocket every time he does something funny!"
[01:54] <Leeroy_Church> "wut."
[01:54] <Leeroy_Church> "wa1+ 1 get 1+."
[01:54] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I have in no way attempted to be funny."
[01:54] <Roland> "And that's why it IS funny, Mr. Zozavo."
[01:54] <Leeroy_Church> "hes l1ke the fuck1n com1c rel1ef haha funny dude, r1ght?"
[01:54] <Prexor_Zozavo> "YOU are insulting ME right now, and I demand YOU stop, before YOU suffer the same fate MY tower did."
[01:54] <Roland> "Comic relief is probably putting it... harshly."
[01:54] <Leeroy_Church> "yea sure k. evrybody l1kes 2 laugh."
[01:54] <Roland> "I like to consider him... refreshing."
[01:55] <Roland> "A real breath of fresh air, huh?"
[01:55] <Leeroy_Church> "..u ever dr1nk saltwater?"
[01:55] <Roland> The 'huh' sounds like a tommy wiseau huh.
[01:55] <Leeroy_Church> "cuz thats bout how refesh1n he 1s."
[01:55] <Prexor_Zozavo> "Silence."
[01:56] <Roland> "Listen, it's late. I know you just woke up, Leeroy, but getting shot in the face has GOT to be exhausting."
[01:56] <Roland> "We'll fix the automaton, and soon I bet we'll have a great fight on our hands, eh?!" he gives you a brilliant, white smile.
[01:56] <Roland> Roll insight, because that's the most charming smile ever.
[01:56] <Prexor_Zozavo> !Roll 1d20-1
[01:56] <NOTTyche[Dice]> rolled 1d20-1 --> [ 1d20=18 ] | {17}
[01:57] <Cerxes_Khesed> 14+3=17
[01:57] <Leeroy_Church> 16+3=19.
[01:57] <Roland> None of you are impressed.
[01:58] <Roland> "Ehhhhheheheh. Yeah. Listen. I've gotta use the can, so I'm just gonna exit stage left here, and you guys can get alllllll set up with your own personal secretaries!"
[01:58] <Leeroy_Church> "1f u EVER. try nother cheap shot on me aga1n. ur toast. and yea, 1ll f1lm ur beatdown."
[01:58] <Roland> "Cheap shot?! Baby! How is earning 100,000 boondollars a cheap shot?!"
[01:59] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I refuse to meet with MY personal secretary because YOU tell ME to."
[01:59] <Leeroy_Church> "FUCK1N. DART."
[01:59] <Roland> "I didn't say you had to, kid! Just said you could."
[01:59] <Roland> He sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiides out of frame, and into a room marked, "Gentlemen."
[01:59] <Cerxes_Khesed> prexor,  why are you  •°♡°•  always so difficult??  •°♡°•
[01:59] <Prexor_Zozavo> "Silence."
[01:59] <Leeroy_Church> Sigh. "1f u dont want ur secretary shrkba1+, 1ll take her."
[02:00] <Prexor_Zozavo> "YOU will do no such thing."
[02:00] <Roland> You look around and find that the entire crew has vacated.
[02:00]  * Cerxes_Khesed sighs
[02:00] <Roland> WHAT A HELLUVA BAIT AND SWITCH!
[02:00] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I am going to kill HIM."
[02:00] <Leeroy_Church> "wut u gonna do about 1+?" She says the words, but there's no heat behind them.
[02:00] <Leeroy_Church> More like 'this old song and dance again.'
[02:00] <Cerxes_Khesed> i am going to  •°♡°• help you.  •°♡°•
[02:01] <Cerxes_Khesed> leeroy... are you okay?
[02:01]  * Roland laughs nervously
[02:01] <Leeroy_Church> "huh? yea, f1ne."
[02:01] <Cerxes_Khesed> well, at least there's  •°♡°• that...  •°♡°•
[02:01] <Leeroy_Church> "dont m1nd me, just gonna go collect my 2 secretar1es."
[02:01] <Roland> The corpses have even been cleaned up.
[02:01] <Cerxes_Khesed> Efficient.
[02:01] <Roland> >You look around and find that the entire crew has vacated.
[02:01] <Roland> Even the secretaries.
[02:02] <Leeroy_Church> ...No need to coax Prexor into taking his, then.
[02:02] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I am going to kill HIM."
[02:02] <Prexor_Zozavo> "A lot."
[02:02] <Cerxes_Khesed> you said that already.
[02:02] <Leeroy_Church> "huh. r1ght, so were overdue 2 get some 1nfo. and fuck that guy."
[02:02] <Prexor_Zozavo> "Agreed."
[02:02] <Cerxes_Khesed> ...  •°♡°• thank you,  •°♡°•  by the way. for keeping your promise.
[02:02] <Leeroy_Church> "u no where hell b 2morrow dude."
[02:02] <Roland> Leeroy hears a drawling laugh from behind her. The others don't notice him, leaning against the wall, saying "I like him. Don't you?"
[02:03] <Roland> Leeroy, roll sanity.
[02:03] <Leeroy_Church> ....oh no.
[02:03] <Roland> OHHHHHHHHHHHH YES!
[02:03] <Prexor_Zozavo> (welp)
[02:03] <Leeroy_Church> ......
[02:03] <Leeroy_Church> I take my one.
[02:03] <Prexor_Zozavo> (WELP)
[02:03] <Roland> "What, you thought you were done with me? That's cute."
[02:03] <Roland> "Tell your playmates here to run along."
[02:03] <Leeroy_Church> The blood drains out of Leeroy's face.
[02:03] <Leeroy_Church> Her head snaps around
[02:05] <Roland> "Go on. Do it."
[02:05] <Leeroy_Church> ...The others don't see him. Shit. Shiiiit.
[02:06] <Cerxes_Khesed> so what do we do  •°♡°• now?  •°♡°•
[02:06] <Cerxes_Khesed> just go back to our towers?
[02:06] <Prexor_Zozavo> "Impossible."
[02:07] <Leeroy_Church> "look, lets spl1+ up. get 1nfo. 1 got.. sum 1deas. sprkles.. stay away from the red l1ght d1str1ct. srkweek.. u d1d good man."
[02:07]  * Cerxes_Khesed flushes jade from head to toe
[02:07] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I refuse to split up or get info."
[02:07] <Prexor_Zozavo> "But I will agree that I did good."
[02:08] <Prexor_Zozavo> I hesitate a bit.
[02:08] <Prexor_Zozavo> "Thank YOU."
[02:08] <Leeroy_Church> Her eyes are kind of.. Still stuck on the FUCKING GHOST in the corner. "k1nda surpr1sed u showed up, but hey. uh. yea."
[02:08] <Leeroy_Church> "...sprkles, g1ve h1m the th1ng. he earned 1+."
[02:08] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I gave MY word."
[02:09] <Cerxes_Khesed> •°♡°• i'm not kissing--  •°♡°•  oh! the other thing.
[02:09] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I agreed to save YOU, I will not rest until YOU are saved."
[02:09] <Cerxes_Khesed> okay, i guess when i wake up i'll... do that.
[02:09]  * Cerxes_Khesed oh no.. she does't really want to know what's happened to her on LOGAM
[02:09] <Leeroy_Church> "yea. good work team. 1m. gonna go get sum 1nfo now. k?"
[02:10] <Prexor_Zozavo> "Fine."
[02:12] <Leeroy_Church> She waves vaguely, before turning her back on them and walking away, knuckles a pale grey around her hammer.
[02:12] <Prexor_Zozavo> "LEEROY."
[02:12] <Leeroy_Church> "..yea?"
[02:12] <Prexor_Zozavo> "I demand that YOU be safe."
[02:13] <Leeroy_Church> "..sure. oh and dude, 1f u dont wreck the jo1nt, u can bunk 1n my tower."
[02:13] <Roland> Everyone, gain 40 XP from this encounter.
[02:13]  * Cerxes_Khesed breathes a sigh of relief
[02:13] <Leeroy_Church> "u no, fuck wut tp wants."
[02:13] <Prexor_Zozavo> "Agreed."
[02:13] <Cerxes_Khesed> •°♡°• oh thank condesce •°♡°•
[02:14] <Leeroy_Church> "sprkles, m1nd 1f we share?"
[02:14]  * Cerxes_Khesed perks right up
[02:15] <Cerxes_Khesed> •°♡°• of course! •°♡°• that is, i don't mind at all!
[02:15] <Roland> "Don't worry. I promise not to watch you absolute *babes* have your pillow fight." The illusion grins.
[02:16] <Leeroy_Church> "..." Unamused, she waves to the two of them, and for some reason slams her fist against a random section of wall near the door on her way out.
[02:17] <Roland> The illusion is waiting outside the door, arms crossed. "Temper temper!"
[02:17] <Roland> It laughs derisively.
[02:17] <Prexor_Zozavo> I turn and also exit the castle.
[02:17]  * Cerxes_Khesed Cerxes rushes off to prepare her tower for her •°♡°• very first friendly sleepover! •°♡°•
[02:17]  * Cerxes_Khesed just like in her animes!
[02:18] <Roland> oh jesus we have a code otacon here
[02:18] <Leeroy_Church> ...Er. We done?
[02:18] <Cerxes_Khesed> Think so.
[02:18] <Roland> Yup. Everyone's separated, we can go back to play by post.
[02:19] <Roland> ==END!==