through the stardust
manipulations
watch them move
into the heart & mind
a guiding light

 Instead of singing in the blue sky, I was like a bird captured in a dungeon cage. Sometimes, you're lost but you will be found.

Shining star. 06041990. gemini. arizona. wanderlust. optimistic. quiet. short-tempered. enthusiastic. passionate. AvPD. opinionated. shy.
This is all I’m going to say on the matter.

It’s getting ridiculous and I just need to let it out.

I’ve seen so much bullshit flying around. I’ve seen people plotting and scheming, and most of them admitted to it. What doesn’t fly with me is how if someone is approached, even AFTER it’s been a while and that person knows what they’ve done, they throw the blame on someone else. It’s one thing to be angry at someone and say things, we all do that shit, but it’s another to completely deny any involvement, especially if you had a big part of it. Not only that, it’s completely childish throwing tantrums when you or someone you know doesn’t like what another character does. Trust me, if anyone should know it, it should be me. I’ve done it more than once.

If anyone should realize that there are PEOPLE behind these characters, it’s those who decide to mind-fuck people so much that they end up having panic attacks more than twice within a month. It’s those who decide to work out a fucked-up plot without actually gaining approval from all parties directly involved. As for RPing for so long? I’ve been RPing since I was about nine or ten, when you were actually able to RP. I was back on the AOL forums playing pokemon back in 2000/2001, when computers actually were able to do more than basic needs or play old-school pixalized games. Before that, I was always writing stories about the things I watched and pretending I was in them. Back then, there weren’t any rules because we were all too young to even realize we’d need them.

No one ever said one specific person said rape, but the fact that it was going around like that without legitimate proof is disgusting. There are logs where it proves consensual, and the fact that a character goes along with the concept of rape even though it WAS consensual? That screams attention-seeker to me. All of this drama is attention-seeking to me. Go ahead and call me an attention seeker, but you know what? I’m just tired of seeing all of this bullshit. You make like drama, but not all of us do. We have enough to deal with without someone going around, whether it’s the person that’s actually involved or their friend, calling rape.

As for app-based RPs, that is NOTHING like tumblr. I don’t get why scenarios are being brought up when they don’t even matter here. Tumblr is a free-for-all, just like any large organization (MySpace, sitemodel, facebook) and for someone to expect rules in those kind of settings is just stupid. I don’t get why it was even brought up, the same for transgender issues, or how any of us grew up, or what life-decisions we’ve made. It’s irrelevant. There’s a lot of shit I’ve been through that I willnever speak about, but you don’t see me throwing it in my RPs, do you? I’m not using it as an excuse. Here, let me throw something around that doesn’t even relate.

From what I learned, it’s an unspoken rule to have two of the same characters on a RPing site. You’re seen as someone who just wants to be in a relationship while still fucking around with other characters (which you probably are). There is so such thing as starting over or a reset character because no matter what, you’re going to have things cross-over, like how you’re angry at one character, or how you come on to a character and hide behind the “other account.” It’s actually impossible to start over, so the fact that you have two accounts of the same person is kind of ridiculous. Oh, and having your bff/fiance/whatever RP out the abuse/rape your character went through is all fine and dandy but don’t pretend you didn’t plan it from the get-go. There are some characters that are raped and abused, and they have the sense to block those people.

Completely pointless, right? Thought so.

It’s not about no one realizing there are people behind these characters, it’s about not taking every little thing to heart. Yes, we’re hurt when they hurt. Yes, those people are a part of us, but there is a difference between feeling what they feel and breaking down at every drop of a hat. From what I’ve seen, a lot of the drama and the bullshit that happens are masochistic tendencies of wanting to get hurt so people can reach out to them and baby them like they desperately want or need. A lot of the dramas are plotted out and usually end up backfiring so the RPers freak out and break down more often than not. This isn’t a place for plots, plots are actually a lot easier to manage between two people in private instead of working it out on a social site like tumblr or even livejournal.

Don’t preach to me about rules or whine about how the cool kids say your bad so it makes it so. We’re fired up because the shit you do and the intentions you have while making certain decisions affect not only yourselves, but everyone else around you. Those intentions and the way you handle yourselves are what makes you bad or whatever you want to call it.

I didn’t see either of you complaining when I had to claw my way out of the grave I dug myself. I didn’t see either of you showing me sympathy for the consequences I had to face for fucking things up, for hurting people. I honestly can’t believe you two actually expect that from any of us. You’ve done so much shit and pointed the blame at EVERYONE but yourselves because you didn’t want to face the consequences.

You have mind-fucked me more than I’d ever like to admit, and it wasn’t even RP that sent me to the fucking hospital more than once over the past two months, it was all of this “he said, she said” bullshit. Yeah, people have talked shit, but at least they confessed to it when I confronted them about it. They admitted to doing wrong, they didn’t say, “Oh, well we were angry but it was mainly this person’s idea.”

You had said how some people want to destroy something beautiful, and if he’s one of them, then so be it…but you’re one of them as well, so practice what you preach and LEARN from all of this because if you don’t, you’re only going to end up alone, trapped inside yourselves because you can’t even go to each other anymore.

Grow up and stop hurting people with your dramatic bullshit. You don’t realize how much you’re able to fuck someone up just because you’re too stubborn and throw fits and spread rumors when you don’t get your way.

P.S.
In-character actions = in-character consequences? You should learn to stick to your own rules.
 » time 9 hours ago}   » notes 2
 #personal  #rant  #roleplay
9:58 am on Friday, February 17, 2012
tags » #personal  #rant  #roleplay
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