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Sep 16th, 2017
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  1. >Hey girls, you ever wonder why Anon is always alone?
  2. >I dunno, let's go ask him!
  3. >They go over to anon.
  4. >Hey nonny how's things?
  5. >Fine I guess...
  6. >Well, the gang and I were wondering how you've been, you seem like you don't talk as much.
  7. >What am I a puppet?
  8. >O.k. dear, c'mon, what's really going on?
  9. >well, I probably do need to get out more... I dunno, Buncha normal fags round here, I mean, I have friends, I just don't see the that often, with work and college, (you studied in the canterlot library and talked a lot and called it college)"
  10. "Well, go and do something. like, I dunno, be a man about it gosh. beta,"
  11. "You know you're right, I just don't know what to do, maybe a meetup or something."
  12. _time passes,
  13. after a week nothing happens
  14. _fluttershy is sent over to burn your laptop and textbooks.
  15. >"go make some friends, sincerily, the mane 6"
  16. >REEEEE!
  17. >you try and buy a new laptop but the store says they only make laptops by hoof, which takes a while.
  18. >you see derpy walking down the street.
  19. >"...what up?"
  20. >"get put of my way autist, gosh, I'm about to deliver peoples hantai and consumerist packaging/"
  21. >"Um... after that? wanna, go eat somewhere or something?"
  22. >"...senpai? lol, yes, sure,"
  24. >you and derpy after she get's off from the busy work of delivering equestrian mail, decide to go out to eat.
  25. >Phew... Well I'm done, and here we are, where we goin?
  26. >you had no clue really, you just finished your shift yourself: you were the local physical therapist...(or interning as one) maybe this is why you were attracted to derp, but you didn't think about it.
  27. >"well, I know a place I always go."
  28. >"what? pinkies? I hate cake anon."
  29. >"Nooo... I don't always like her cake it has too much frosting. pls I think she adds an unhealthy amount of sugar, bad for insulin levels."
  30. >"Oh my god, I was thinking the same thing, insulin resistance is a big problem these days."
  31. >oh my god she's woke, you had so many things to say...
  32. >ANYWAY, let's go to the blue river?
  33. >I love that place.
  34. >O.k. let's go!
  35. you both order veggie burgers, tofu had just been added. the senery was average, simple, yet enough to please the eye.
  36. >"and then I was talking about how canterlot needed reforming so it wouldn't be as much of a tax haven for the crystal empire, but outlands already took such measures, and they didn't do any better, so I was like, Whatever."
  37. "Omg, I know a few pony's from outlands: they always talk about how ponyville is some backwater town: gets on my nerves: like they're the best thing ever."
  38. >"I really love this burger... I wish I could Instagram it but, all my electronics were burned."
  39. >"Here..."
  40. she hands you her 2008 blackberry...
  41. >OH!! thanks, here let's take a selfie!
  42. >"O.k... well, I don't know. I guess."
  43. >you thought about asking if it was her eyes that made her shy, but felt that was too much.
  44. >"Nonsense, c;mon for me?"
  45. >"O.k. sure."
  46. >you both took one together...
  47. >the next day you went to the library to see if it showed up on your Instagram: it did,
  48. >along with your friends tagging it,
  49. >and various trolls.
  50. >you became a meme...
  51. >"Oh shit..."
  52. >you didn't want shy derpy to become a meme... you had to do something.
  54. >you realize photo shopping would be wrong, so you quickly distract the public with some embarrassing pics of you, everyone gets into it, and your reputation is now shattered online.
  55. >"phew,glad that's over..."
  56. >you finished studying and had to go to work that day. they always had you working late, because well, a lot of fighting with magic happened in equestria, but the fact you only worked a four day week made up for it
  57. >you called derpy
  58. >she said she liked last night...
  59. >you said you also liked last night...
  60. >you felt alright.
  61. >derpy was a swell person, you thought.
  62. >you remember the women you tried to date before derpy.
  63. >(cringe)...bon bon...
  64. >you almost threw up at the thought she's now trans.
  65. >the first person you met as a pony in this weird reality.
  66. >you wondered if god would ever send you back.
  67. >or whoever works beyond the border of equestria and your world.
  68. >eh, whatever.
  69. >you realize in between shifts you've had nothing to do.
  70. >you look east, you wonder if derpy was too reliant on you. if she had issues,
  71. >you hoped she didn't
  72. >she seemed confident enough to carry her own hooves, that's what you liked about her really. she was hardened by her disability, it made her smarter in a way.
  73. >you were forced to draw something out of pure boredom.
  74. >it was a hurricane of colors, with a volcano in the middle.
  77. >it had been a month now of no laptop...
  78. >you felt as if the only social forum you could have was that with derpy, the mane , and random people at the local coffee bar.
  79. >but finally, the day came, the laptop had arrived.
  80. >you instantly went and connected to your local magic power internet provider in hopes of a siginal.
  81. >someone had been cool enough to make it unsecure
  82. >you go on 4chan
  83. >there are some writefag threads
  84. >an unnoticeable Octavia pic is seen this morning
  85. >you've spoke to Octavia kknowing she lurked the site often in between concerts, that and mu.
  86. >So this early morning/last night I learned that it was not my whisky that was shit, but that it was in fact I that was shit as apparently my natural tolerance for alcohol requires me to drown more than a mug full of straight whisky before I feel a buzzBut enough about the physiological problems like not being able to enjoying the warm fuzzies after 1-2 drinks, I have been pulling the throttle back on writing the next update somewhat as there's an OVERFLOWING amount of green latelyIt's a good thing though as I've been hammering out a lot of vague points in the story so hopefully the beginning Flash outta nowhere will never happen again, I hopeLuckily I have about half a good update typed up so I will be able to update tomorrow morningFor now I'm going to play Xcom 2 and debate when I'm going to try everclear as apparently that'll be the only thing that can get me going in one drinkSee ya then my dudes"
  87. >you posted back feeling the adrenaline of your bottom hooves flow up to you.
  88. >but then you remembered: you had somewhere to go this day.
  89. >big mac needed help with lifting that one thing.
  90. >you and him had common interests after discovering what he has in the mail.
  91. >you often frequented the farm just to talk in recent times.
  92. >that and spot him while he lifted: or go on top of him while he did pushups because you were THAT pony.
  93. >you went over.
  94. >before hand he gave you a piece of pear pie
  96. >"hey big mac?"
  97. >"yeah?"
  98. >"what kind of apple pie is this?"
  99. >"it's... awesome apple. yup. awesome apple. you never tasted awesome apples? they have a different shape, ad they're um, softer."
  100. >"lies, and deceit my friend."
  101. >"I ain't lyin'"
  102. >"hm. k."
  103. >you go over to what needed to be lifted: it was firewood.
  104. >"now lift with your legs, I know you can only lift so much, don't strain yourself appleman."
  105. >"I know how to lift things anon,"
  106. >"o.k. how do you still use firewood?"
  107. >"it's cheaper."
  108. >"I remember in my world... we couldn't even use this stuff."
  109. >"your world seems like an interesting place man,"
  110. >bigmac thought you were honestly sort of insane, but he was a gentle heart.
  111. >"ughh. phew. high hoof!"
  112. >"yay"
  113. >"yes indeed,, wanna cider?"
  114. >"hell yes."
  115. >you had a cold one.
  117. >you called derpy.
  118. >"herro? who is dis. you speaking to chinawok."
  119. >"oh. I think I have the wrong number."
  120. >"yes, you have wong number, you order Chinese?"
  121. >"no, sorry."
  122. >"lìng yí gè shì jiè bìng bù yáo yuan!"
  123. >um, bye."
  124. >you noticed you were one number off
  125. >"da da da da daaa.(bzz bzz) da da da da daaa (bzz bzz) "
  126. >"hey non, what's up?"
  127. >nothin, it's my day off, I just helped bigmac with firewood, (got pretty blasted), and was just saying herro. how is you?"
  128. >"I'm doin some stuff. you know: some stuff about stuff."
  129. >"like, what kinda stiffff?"
  130. >"listen, you wanna find out? I will let you in on it. here's where I'm at: you know past snout street, there's that market, and then that outhouse installer?"
  131. >"yeah."
  132. >"well, go past that, and you'll see an old antiques shop, and if you gon in there, you'll see a guy, he's brown, and tell him derpy sent you."
  133. >you were almost too smashed to know what was going on,
  134. >"um, k.koolio, see you there."
  135. you vaguely made the directions work and ran to the destination.
  136. >"hello, welcome to who Is who? antiques, how may I help you?"
  137. >"yo bro, you lookin goooodddd, derp ent me bro."
  138. >"oh, dude you look smashed we're dealing with some equipment here, like, are you gonna be aiight?"
  139. >you tried your best to put on a straight face.
  140. >"Yes, my dude, I'm fine. we're cool, I love science, it's all gravy. Promise."
  141. >"o.k. cool."
  142. >you went down to the lab of dr.hooves.
  143. >"DERP!"
  144. >"NON!"
  145. >hugs
  146. >"what is dis here?"
  147. >"this is my mentor dr.hooves, we do science, we're trying to work on an interdimensional thing, non magic rather, we do it by hitting particles together, and we can measure certain factors of light and photons to see them in relation to factors that otherwise wouldn't exist."
  148. >"yay!"
  149. >"we're currently trying to figure out how to hit together antiprotons."
  150. >"oh. sounds interesting, but don't you think that may create like, an anti matter bamb or something?"
  152. >you didn't have the guts to tell dr.hooves the way in and out of your world was fairly simple. almost illusory. you instead wanted to see if he could create an anti-matter bomb.
  153. >"you know dr.hooves, I really think you're on to something here, I would just move tis to a far away location, just to make sure no one gets hurt."
  154. >(dr.hooves, jokingly)."go home anon, you're drunk."
  155. >you decided to visit home after smashing some particles
  156. >your friends ask you how the phillipines were.
  157. >you said great,
  158. >your friends ask who you've met
  159. >you say a person with cross eyes
  160. >"we're not talking about the same certain pony you liked to talk about before right?"
  161. >"Nooo...I'm talking about a real, sentient, being."
  162. >"does she have hooves?"
  163. >"shutup."
  164. >"dude, I think you have a drug problem."
  165. >"Hey, I do a bunch of lsd ONE TIME, and now I have a drug problem."
  166. >"I still have that masterpiece you drew on my wall."
  167. >"Good, keep it, it will be worth millions.
  169. >you hadn't gone back yet, you're somewhere on the outskirts of georgia
  170. > "so, lemme get this straight: equestrian is on the Chinese north Korean border, it's a contained area, and a magic spell keeps everypony in it because when they walk to one side they end up on the other side of equestria?"
  171. >"generally, and I struggled with getting out till I discovered derpy know how to get in and out if it: see, the reason she's blue/grey is she ate silver, and that repels the magic. her whole senpai knows this, and they're all blue/grey this has nothing to do with her eyes though.and she' told me she's actually leading dr. hooves on so she can discover his true intent in his particle experiments."
  172. >"but then how do you change into a pony, and are human in this world?"
  173. >"I have a guy... who makes suits of certain caliber, and skill."
  174. >"_____________*boi, ma boi,, I'm tellin ya'____
  175. \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\-you need to get me this guy on the phone for me homie..."
  176. \
  179. let's wrap it up here:
  180. >the investigation of dr. hooves is still underway
  181. >you went back, you had to go back
  182. >you told derpy where you were, and who you were,
  183. >the mane 6 heard the whole story, and knew a spell to make you an actual pony.
  184. >do you accept?
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