API tools faq
paste
Advertisement
alternational

AFT - Script (Inviting Teammates up to The End)

alternational
Dec 18th, 2019 (edited)
153
0
Never
Add comment
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
text 93.54 KB | None | 0 0
raw download clone embed print report
  1. === '''Finding Friends (cont'd)''' ===
  2. '''Milo:''' We-- we got to know a lot of people tonight. It was quite the mix of intrapersonal development and-- uh-- and interpersonal problem solving--
  3.  
  4. '''Lola:''' Yeah yeah yeah, but who should we ask to do this?
  5.  
  6. '''Milo:''' We only get two. We only need two, so... gimme the list. Who’s-- who would say yes?
  7.  
  8. {{#tag:tabber|(Befriended Sam)=<h5 style="display:none">(Befriended Sam)</h5><blockquote>
  9. '''Sam:''' Uh, I would say yes. My shift ended like five hours ago, I’ve just been doing this for fun.
  10.  
  11. {{#tag:tabber|(Pick Sam)=<h5 style="display:none">(Pick Sam)</h5><blockquote>
  12. '''Milo:''' Sam, that’s-- that’s awesome, seriously. I mean... I... I’ve only-- we’ve only just met you, but, I’m sure I can speak for Lola when--
  13.  
  14. '''Sam:''' You can stop talking now.
  15.  
  16. '''Milo:''' Okay.
  17. </blockquote>
  18. {{!}}-{{!}}(Move on)=<h5 style="display:none">(Move on)</h5><blockquote>
  19. '''Milo:''' Oh no, I-- we wouldn't want to put you out, or, uh, drag you into--
  20.  
  21. '''Sam:''' Wait wait wait, Judas my cab fare keeps talking over my calls. Hello? He hugn up. What were you saying, Milo?
  22.  
  23. '''Milo:''' [Sighs] Forget it.
  24. </blockquote>
  25. }}
  26. </blockquote>
  27. }}
  28.  
  29. {{#tag:tabber|(Befriended Asmodeus)=<h5 style="display:none">(Befriended Asmodeus)</h5><blockquote>
  30. '''Lola:''' What about Asmodeus?
  31.  
  32. {{#tag:tabber|(Pick Asmodeus)=<h5 style="display:none">(Pick Asmodeus)</h5><blockquote>
  33. '''Milo:''' Yeah, getting Asmodeus seems almost like cheating.
  34.  
  35. '''Milo:''' ''[text]'' Yo, Al? Wanna party with us against Satan?
  36.  
  37. '''Asmodeus:''' ''[text]'' Hey now, 'rebels to the end!' i'll be over these soon, fellas!
  38. </blockquote>
  39. {{!}}-{{!}}(Move on)=<h5 style="display:none">(Move on)</h5><blockquote>
  40. '''Milo:''' Eh, I think we should just let him relax at Skoll.
  41.  
  42. '''Lola:''' If you can call that "relaxing."
  43. </blockquote>
  44. }}
  45. </blockquote>
  46. }}
  47.  
  48. '''Lola:''' What about Polly?
  49.  
  50. [''If the player didn't befriend anyone else, the game will default to "Pick Polly."'']
  51.  
  52. {{#tag:tabber|(Pick Polly)=<h5 style="display:none">(Pick Polly)</h5><blockquote>
  53. '''Milo:''' Yeah, she's-- she'd be good. I'll text her.
  54.  
  55. '''Milo:''' ''[text]'' Hey, Apollyon? Would you maybe want to come over to Satan's and help us outdrink him?
  56.  
  57. '''Apollyon:''' ''[text]'' I'm headed over there anyway. Maybe I can help, but no promises.
  58. </blockquote>
  59. {{!}}-{{!}}(Move on)=<h5 style="display:none">(Move on)</h5><blockquote>
  60. '''Milo:''' Eh, I don't know if I really... trust her. I think she's up to something.
  61. </blockquote>
  62. }}
  63.  
  64. {{#tag:tabber|(Befriended Wormhorn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Befriended Wormhorn)</h5><blockquote>
  65. '''Lola:''' Hey, what about Wormhorn?
  66. {{#tag:tabber|(Pick Wormhorn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Pick Wormhorn)</h5><blockquote>
  67. '''Milo:''' Yeah... I guess we're okay now.
  68.  
  69. '''Milo:''' ''[text]'' Mary? Wanna maybe help us try and beat Satan in the big drink-off?
  70.  
  71. '''Wormhorn:''' ''[text]'' HELLlL1L YESsSSSsSS!#*%! ZE3 U S0O0N. XoXo :):):) HEARTS666LOVE666BLESSED
  72. </blockquote>
  73. {{!}}-{{!}}(Move on)=<h5 style="display:none">(Move on)</h5><blockquote>
  74. '''Milo:''' Sorry, but fuck no. I don't care how we ended things. With her bullshit, I'm not to the point of "laughing about it," yet.
  75. </blockquote>
  76. }}
  77. </blockquote>
  78. }}
  79.  
  80. [''If the player hasn't picked anyone else up to this point, the game defaults to "Pick ____" for the next character.'']
  81.  
  82. {{#tag:tabber|(Befriended Fela)=<h5 style="display:none">(Befriended Fela)</h5><blockquote>
  83. '''Lola:''' Um, I bet Fela's available.
  84.  
  85. {{#tag:tabber|(Pick Fela)=<h5 style="display:none">(Pick Fela)</h5><blockquote>
  86. '''Milo:''' Oh yeah, that guy. Uh, sure.
  87.  
  88. '''Milo:''' ''[text]'' Hey! Fela! You busy? Wanna help us drink Satan under the table?
  89.  
  90. '''Fela:''' ''[text]'' Thank GAWD! Yes! I'm so bored! Be over soon!
  91. </blockquote>
  92. {{!}}-{{!}}(Move on)=<h5 style="display:none">(Move on)</h5><blockquote>
  93. (TBC)
  94. </blockquote>
  95. }}
  96. </blockquote>
  97. {{!}}-{{!}}(Befriended Lynda)=<h5 style="display:none">(Befriended Lynda)</h5><blockquote>
  98. '''Lola:''' Oh, what about Lynda Landon?
  99.  
  100. {{#tag:tabber|(Pick Lynda)=<h5 style="display:none">(Pick Lynda)</h5><blockquote>
  101. '''Milo:''' Oh, uh, yeah, sure. I guess she'll be okay.
  102.  
  103. '''Milo:''' ''[text]'' Miss Landon? Don't know what you're up to, but if you want to come out with us and outdrink Satan we'd really appreciate it!
  104.  
  105. '''Lynda:''' ''[text]'' Yeah sure whatever I'll be over when I find my least dirty socks.
  106. </blockquote>
  107. {{!}}-{{!}}(Move on)=<h5 style="display:none">(Move on)</h5><blockquote>
  108. (TBC)
  109. </blockquote>
  110. }}
  111. </blockquote>
  112. }}
  113.  
  114. {{#tag:tabber|(Only have one teammate)=<h5 style="display:none">(Befriended Fela)</h5><blockquote>
  115. '''Lola:''' Uh... and now we're down to the Drunk Idiot Demon from the fucking start of this thing.
  116.  
  117. '''Milo:''' Wait, so we ''have'' to pick this guy?
  118.  
  119. '''Lola:''' You turned down everybody else!
  120.  
  121. '''Lola:''' ''[text]'' Hey Dickhead! Come drink with us! Satan's in 10.
  122.  
  123. '''Drunk Idiot Demon:''' ''[text]'' I dont know whu this is or how u got thsi number but i do no to nver turn down an oportoonity to advanse ur career! i'll c u soon
  124. </blockquote>
  125. }}
  126.  
  127. '''Milo:''' Awesome! We got our group, our-- our team, we're-- I feel--
  128.  
  129. '''Lola:''' Good, you should feel good. Why wouldn't you--
  130.  
  131. '''Milo:''' Yeah, I mean, I don't-- I don't know about everybody else in here, but I for one-- feel pretty darn good about this.
  132.  
  133. '''Sam:''' Cool.
  134.  
  135. === '''The Confrontation''' ===
  136. [''After reaching the island, Milo and Lola must go to Satan's house, followed by the two people they chose.'']
  137.  
  138. '''Sleeping Moron:''' [loud snoring]
  139.  
  140. '''Milo:''' Party looks kinda dead.
  141.  
  142. Lynda > Drunk Idiot Demon
  143. Wormhorn > Asmodeus
  144. Sam, Apollyon, Asmodeus, Wormhorn, Lynda Landon, Fela, and Drunk Idiot Demon.
  145.  
  146. {{#tag:tabber|(Picked Sam)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Sam)</h5><blockquote>
  147. (TBC)
  148. </blockquote>
  149. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Apollyon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Apollyon)</h5><blockquote>
  150. '''Apollyon:''' This thing always goes way too long... it used to be part of their charm.
  151.  
  152. '''Lola:''' Sure.
  153.  
  154. '''Apollyon:''' It ''used'' to be part of their charm, but... we're not staying any longer than absolutely necessary. So, once we go in, that's it... we're not leaving until we're done. And once we're done, we're done.
  155. </blockquote>
  156. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Asmodeus)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Asmodeus)</h5><blockquote>
  157. (TBC)
  158. </blockquote>
  159. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Wormhorn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Wormhorn)</h5><blockquote>
  160. '''Wormhorn:''' Well, I think Satan's probably the kind of guy whose parties run past their sell-by date pretty regularly. It's kind of charming!
  161. </blockquote>
  162. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Lynda Landon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Lynda Landon)</h5><blockquote>
  163. '''Lynda:''' Eh, yeah, see? What'd I tell you? The party had some charm to it for a little while, but... well, that flew out the window along with a lamp or two.
  164. </blockquote>
  165. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Fela)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Fela)</h5><blockquote>
  166. '''Fela:''' Man, Satan's parties... If you'd been around in the 5th century, it would've-- it would've really knocked your block off. Really-- really charming. They were, truly!
  167. </blockquote>
  168. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)</h5><blockquote>
  169. (TBC)
  170. </blockquote>
  171. }}
  172.  
  173. '''Lola:''' Sure.
  174.  
  175. {{#tag:tabber|(Picked Sam)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Sam)</h5><blockquote>
  176. (TBC)
  177. </blockquote>
  178. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Apollyon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Apollyon)</h5><blockquote>
  179. (TBC)
  180. </blockquote>
  181. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Asmodeus)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Asmodeus)</h5><blockquote>
  182. '''Asmodeus:''' On the other hand, what has ''never'' been charming are no in-and-outs.
  183.  
  184. '''Milo:''' What do you mean?
  185.  
  186. '''Asmodeus:''' It's gotten to be the witching hour. Means once you go in... you're going ahead until finished.
  187. </blockquote>
  188. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Wormhorn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Wormhorn)</h5><blockquote>
  189. (TBC)
  190. </blockquote>
  191. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Lynda Landon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Lynda Landon)</h5><blockquote>
  192. (TBC)
  193. </blockquote>
  194. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Fela)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Fela)</h5><blockquote>
  195. '''Milo:''' What do you mean?
  196.  
  197. '''Fela:''' Oh, uh, that reminds me-- once we go in there, we shouldn't, uh, leave again until it's all done.
  198. </blockquote>
  199. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)</h5><blockquote>
  200. '''Drunk Idiot Demon:''' What's-- what's not charming is... my butt.
  201.  
  202. '''Milo:''' Uhh... Huh?
  203.  
  204. '''Drunk Idiot Demon:''' I mean... I mean this is the-- the part where I tell ya that ya can't go in and then out again.
  205.  
  206. '''Milo:''' What are you talking about?
  207. </blockquote>
  208. }}
  209.  
  210. '''Lola:''' Eh, let's just get on with it. I have met every dumbass I want to, tonight. Let's just go.
  211.  
  212. '''Milo:''' Makes, uh, makes sense.
  213.  
  214. [''They must enter the house.'']
  215.  
  216. '''Milo:''' Uh, S--Satan? Are you... where...
  217.  
  218. [''Satan is across the room, ____.'']
  219.  
  220. '''Satan:''' No, I know we like to say they're like ants or, um, voles, but-- take it from someone who saw them come out of the kiln... people are just plucked parrots.
  221.  
  222. '''Milo:''' Okay... well. There he is. Let's go get him.
  223.  
  224. '''Satan:''' Particularly in their, um, how to put this... their capability of feeling loneliness. And the cannonball-shot desperation to avoid it-- the organically encoded forbearance of it. It can literally kill them. You know that, right?
  225.  
  226. '''Ordog:''' I've heard.
  227.  
  228. '''Satan:''' Consider, in their youth, it's-- this is my favorite manifestation of it-- They will spiritually graft themselves onto a cultural event or figurehead, be it... a singer, a band, film, game, concert, car, new washing machine... and they feel emboldened by advertisements to promote it. They feel a part of something by these constructed communal awareness campaigns-- designed to erode actual community by... isolating and separating people into those who are a part... and those who are not. They ripped up seats for Stravinsky...
  229.  
  230. '''Ordog:''' Luke--
  231.  
  232. '''Satan:''' Cynicism eventually corrupts the ability to participate in such moments, but... like a ever, it-- it burns away concern for the commonwealth, too. That little uh... switch that they have... sends more people to Hell than any other, I think. But you know... I'km sorry, I just find it interesting.
  233.  
  234. [''Lola and Milo must speak with Satan.'']
  235.  
  236. '''Milo:''' Uh, Satan?
  237.  
  238. '''Satan:''' Huh? Oh-- oh, it's-- it's you. Mmmmmm...
  239.  
  240. '''Milo:''' Milo--
  241.  
  242. '''Satan:''' Ah, Milo, yes. That's-- that's your moniker, thank you. The-- the party is mostly winding down, but... I think there's some booze spilled in various ash trays, throughout... If you're so inclined. _______
  243.  
  244. {{#tag:tabber|We're here to challenge you!=<h5 style="display:none">We're here to challenge you!</h5><blockquote>
  245. (TBC)
  246. </blockquote>
  247. {{!}}-{{!}}We got the team!=<h5 style="display:none">We got the team!</h5><blockquote>
  248. '''Milo:''' Look, we got the team, okay. You said it was a team sport, so, we-- we got one.
  249. </blockquote>
  250. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  251. '''Lola:''' Yeah, alright, you know why we're here, okay. We got the people, the crew, we're ready. Let's do it.
  252. </blockquote>
  253. }}
  254.  
  255. '''Satan:''' Oh, I'm sorry... I think you're mistaken.
  256.  
  257. '''Lola:''' Mistaken about what.
  258.  
  259. '''Satan:''' I said you had to get friends. You need friends to have a Drinking Contest-- a true Drinking Contest. I-- I thought that's what you wanted to do, correct?
  260.  
  261. '''Lola:''' We have. We brought our friends--
  262.  
  263. '''Satan:''' No. Those aren't your friends.
  264.  
  265. {{#tag:tabber|(Didn't pick both Sam and Wormhorn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Didn't pick both Sam and Wormhorn)</h5><blockquote>
  266. {{#tag:tabber|(Picked Sam)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Sam)</h5><blockquote>
  267. '''Satan:''' A worn out cab driver...
  268. </blockquote>
  269. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Apollyon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Apollyon)</h5><blockquote>
  270. (TBC)
  271. </blockquote>
  272. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Asmodeus)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Asmodeus)</h5><blockquote>
  273. (TBC)
  274. </blockquote>
  275. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Wormhorn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Wormhorn)</h5><blockquote>
  276. (TBC)
  277. </blockquote>
  278. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Lynda Landon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Lynda Landon)</h5><blockquote>
  279. '''Satan:''' A uselessly dead musician...
  280. </blockquote>
  281. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Fela)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Fela)</h5><blockquote>
  282. (TBC)
  283. </blockquote>
  284. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)</h5><blockquote>
  285. (TBC)
  286. </blockquote>
  287. }}
  288.  
  289. {{#tag:tabber|(Picked Sam)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Sam)</h5><blockquote>
  290. (TBC)
  291. </blockquote>
  292. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Apollyon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Apollyon)</h5><blockquote>
  293. '''Satan:''' ...and Polly, a fuckin' demon lawyer.
  294. </blockquote>
  295. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Asmodeus)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Asmodeus)</h5><blockquote>
  296. (TBC)
  297. </blockquote>
  298. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Wormhorn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Wormhorn)</h5><blockquote>
  299. (TBC)
  300. </blockquote>
  301. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Lynda Landon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Lynda Landon)</h5><blockquote>
  302. (TBC)
  303. </blockquote>
  304. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Fela)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Fela)</h5><blockquote>
  305. '''Satan:''' ...and a demonic security guard.
  306. </blockquote>
  307. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)</h5><blockquote>
  308. '''Satan:''' ...and a drunk demon you met five minutes in.
  309. </blockquote>
  310. }}
  311. </blockquote>
  312. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Sam and Wormhorn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Sam and Wormhorn)</h5><blockquote>
  313. '''Satan:''' Sam Hill and your own Personal Demon-- what, did you look up how to do this on GameFaqs?
  314.  
  315. '''Lola:''' Huh?
  316. </blockquote>
  317. }}
  318.  
  319. '''Satan:''' These aren't your friends. Okay? Do you really think they'll be there for you when the chips are down? No, they won't.
  320.  
  321. {{#tag:tabber|Yes they are!=<h5 style="display:none">Yes they are!</h5><blockquote>
  322. '''Milo:''' Yes they are! We're-- we're all good--
  323. </blockquote>
  324. {{!}}-{{!}}You didn't specify friends!=<h5 style="display:none">You didn't specify friends!</h5><blockquote>
  325. '''Milo:''' Hey hey hey, you-- you didn't specify that they had to be friends!
  326.  
  327. '''Satan:''' I have a... very good memory, Milo.
  328. </blockquote>
  329. }}
  330.  
  331. '''Satan:''' The fact of the matter, kids: there's no such thing as friends.
  332.  
  333. {{#tag:tabber|(Didn't pick Apollyon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Didn't pick Apollyon)</h5><blockquote>
  334. [''Apollyon suddenly teleports into the house.'']
  335.  
  336. '''Apollyon:''' Lucifer!
  337.  
  338. [''More and more demons and humans start teleporting in and surrounding Satan.'']
  339.  
  340. '''Satan:''' Polly, if you came for the ball drop, we only do that on New Year's.
  341.  
  342. '''Chernabog:''' Judge Apollyon, what a fuckin' surprise.
  343. </blockquote>
  344. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Apollyon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Apollyon)</h5><blockquote>
  345. [''Apollyon suddenly teleports into the house, followed by more demons and humans.'']
  346.  
  347. '''Forneus:''' Lucifer!
  348.  
  349. '''Satan:''' Forneus. What, uh... what took you so long?
  350.  
  351. '''Forneus:''' I was waiting for Polly to text me, but-- my battery's about to-- hey, do you have a charger for the G-six?
  352.  
  353. '''Satan:''' Polly? Oh, what a surprise.
  354. </blockquote>
  355. }}
  356.  
  357. '''Apollyon:''' I take it by your tone you don't actually consider this a surprise--
  358.  
  359. '''Satan:''' No, I've known for some time that you and a towns-worth of extras were planning something. So what is this? Sulla deposing Marius? The Pisonian Conspiracy? Treachery is a sin, dear sister-- Maybe the greatest of sins-- but hey, you want to run Hell in the shadow of Beelzebub? Fine. Like I... ugh-- like I give a shit.
  360.  
  361. {{#tag:tabber|(Acquitted Roberto)=<h5 style="display:none">(Acquitted Roberto)</h5><blockquote>
  362. '''Apollyon:''' How should we start?
  363.  
  364. '''Beelzebub:''' It would've been easier with Roberto....
  365.  
  366. '''Apollyon:''' It's fine, we-- I can lead it myself.
  367. </blockquote>
  368. {{!}}-{{!}}(Convicted Roberto)=<h5 style="display:none">(Convicted Roberto)</h5><blockquote>
  369. '''Beelzebub:''' Roberto?
  370.  
  371. [''Roberto Spaghetti walks into the room.'']
  372.  
  373. '''Roberto:''' I am here, yes.
  374.  
  375. {{#tag:tabber|Roberto!=<h5 style="display:none">Roberto!</h5><blockquote>
  376. '''Milo:''' Roberto! Holy shit, what are you doing here?
  377. </blockquote>
  378. {{!}}-{{!}}What's going on?=<h5 style="display:none">What's going on?</h5><blockquote>
  379. '''Milo:''' Roberto! What the Hell is going on?
  380. </blockquote>
  381. }}
  382.  
  383. '''Satan:''' Okay, yeah, I knew this little stereotype was someone important to you-- What is this, the plot of ''Prophecy''-- is-- are you like the best thumb-wrestler in the universe-- Well, okay, fine, get it over with, little man-- Take your best shot.
  384.  
  385. '''Apollyon:''' How should we start?
  386.  
  387. '''Roberto:''' Uh, Miss Apollyon, I can begin. We should all begin by telling Lucifer, here, how much he is loved... and appreciated and cared for.
  388.  
  389. '''Ordog:''' Yeah, dude, you're totally cared for.
  390.  
  391. '''Forneus:''' We totally love you, guy.
  392.  
  393. {{#tag:tabber|Uh, we love you, Satan?=<h5 style="display:none">Uh, we love you, Satan?</h5><blockquote>
  394. '''Milo:''' Uh, we-- we love you, Satan?
  395. </blockquote>
  396. {{!}}-{{!}}Huh?=<h5 style="display:none">Huh?</h5><blockquote>
  397. (TBC)
  398. </blockquote>
  399. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  400. (TBC)
  401. </blockquote>
  402. }}
  403.  
  404. '''Chernabog:''' What the fuck are you--
  405.  
  406. '''Roberto:''' Now, Miss Polly. Why don't you speak first?
  407. </blockquote>
  408. }}
  409.  
  410. '''Apollyon:''' We're supposed to, um-- we're supposed to go over our memories-- say what we remember-- tell us how you've made us all feel. Not to be judgmental, not be... confrontational. And it's hard-- this is hard, standing here, um-- harder than I thought it would be.
  411.  
  412. '''Satan:''' Polly--
  413.  
  414. '''Apollyon:''' You know what I remember? I remember playing tag with you... across the Hadean. I remember unicellular life, popping like popcorn... you and I, watching it-- Hiding from Michael in zircon crystals--
  415.  
  416. '''Satan:''' Polly--
  417.  
  418. '''Apollyon:''' And I remember you getting loaded off the divine fruit after it had been rotted. And I remember watching you change-- watching you hate Dad, watching you learn how to hate--
  419.  
  420. {{#tag:tabber|Polly, what's going on?=<h5 style="display:none">Polly, what's going on?</h5><blockquote>
  421. '''Milo:''' Uh-- Apollyon--
  422. </blockquote>
  423. {{!}}-{{!}}Satan, what is happening?!=<h5 style="display:none">Satan, what is happening?!</h5><blockquote>
  424. (TBC)
  425. </blockquote>
  426. }}
  427.  
  428. '''Apollyon:''' This is your fucking intervention, Morningstar, and you're going to listen to every single thing we have to say.
  429.  
  430. '''Satan:''' Wait wait wait wait wait wait... what? This is an intervention? You're-- you're-- you're pulling my leg.
  431.  
  432. {{#tag:tabber|Oh! Shit!=<h5 style="display:none">Oh! Shit!</h5><blockquote>
  433. '''Milo:''' Oh! Wow! I actually-- I wasn't expecting that, I have to be honest.
  434. </blockquote>
  435. {{!}}-{{!}}Oh wow!=<h5 style="display:none">Oh wow!</h5><blockquote>
  436. '''Milo:''' Oh! Uh, shit, does this-- should we, like-- should we not be here for this?
  437. </blockquote>
  438. }}
  439.  
  440. '''Chernabog:''' Are you kidding me? Luke is fine. We party. So what?
  441.  
  442. '''Apollyon:''' Morningstar, Hell can be... it can be a place for reflection, for rehabilitation, for skepticism, for study. But you've turned your back on everyone and everything, it's-- it's not fair to Beelzebub...
  443.  
  444. '''Beelzebub:''' No.
  445.  
  446. {{#tag:tabber|(Picked Sam)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Sam)</h5><blockquote>
  447. '''Apollyon:''' Or-- or Sam...
  448.  
  449. '''Sam:''' Hiya.
  450. </blockquote>
  451. }}
  452.  
  453. '''Apollyon:''' Or me. We're your brothers and sisters, Luke. We care about you--
  454.  
  455. '''Satan:''' Milo. Lola. I think we have a Drinking Contest to start.
  456.  
  457. '''Apollyon:''' Lucifer, this is-- this is serious.
  458.  
  459. '''Satan:''' Oh, is it?
  460.  
  461. {{#tag:tabber|Uh, really?=<h5 style="display:none">Uh, really?</h5><blockquote>
  462. '''Milo:''' Um, really? Cause I-- I have to say, maybe this doesn't seem, uh, ''appropriate'' anymore.
  463. </blockquote>
  464. {{!}}-{{!}}Oh, uh, good.=<h5 style="display:none">Oh, uh, good.</h5><blockquote>
  465. '''Milo:''' Oh, uh... uh-- good. Can't wait to, uh, to drink ya... under the table, there, Chief...
  466. </blockquote>
  467. }}
  468.  
  469. {{#tag:tabber|(Acquitted Roberto)=<h5 style="display:none">(Acquitted Roberto)</h5><blockquote>
  470. '''Apollyon:''' We-- we tried to get an expert interventionist, Roberto, but... he was sentenced to Heaven.
  471.  
  472. '''Satan:''' Oh golly gee, what a surprise. The guy who's most devoted his life to helping addicts gets to go to Heaven!
  473.  
  474. '''Beelzebub:''' Lucifer--
  475. </blockquote>
  476. {{!}}-{{!}}(Convicted Roberto)=<h5 style="display:none">(Convicted Roberto)</h5><blockquote>
  477. '''Apollyon:''' You want to know who Roberto is, Lucifer? He's the leading interventionist expert, and we thought--
  478.  
  479. [''Satan snaps his fingers, lighting Roberto on fire.'']
  480.  
  481. '''Roberto:''' [screaming on fire]
  482.  
  483. [''Roberto runs off.'']
  484. </blockquote>
  485. }}
  486.  
  487. '''Satan:''' Okay, kids, here's how we do this.
  488.  
  489. '''Apollyon:''' Morningstar--
  490.  
  491. '''Satan:''' It's a drinking game with two rounds. Round one is Beer Pong-- your team against mine.
  492.  
  493. '''Beelzebub:''' Lucifer, stop acting like a child.
  494.  
  495. [''Satan's friends start heading to the back patio.'']
  496.  
  497. '''Chernabog:''' Hey! Beer Pong! Ha ha!
  498.  
  499. '''Vetala:''' We should, uh, get into it.
  500.  
  501. {{#tag:tabber|Should we really be doing this?=<h5 style="display:none">Should we really be doing this?</h5><blockquote>
  502. '''Milo:''' Uh, should we-- should we really be doing this right now?
  503.  
  504. '''Apollyon:''' No, we shouldn't.
  505. </blockquote>
  506. {{!}}-{{!}}Are you, uh, okay?=<h5 style="display:none">Are you, uh, okay?</h5><blockquote>
  507. '''Milo:''' Are you, uh, okay? This seems-- this is weird.
  508.  
  509. '''Satan:''' No, it isn't. Nothing's weird about it.
  510.  
  511. '''Apollyon:''' We shouldn't be doing this.
  512. </blockquote>
  513. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  514. '''Apollyon:''' We shouldn't be doing this.
  515. </blockquote>
  516. }}
  517.  
  518. '''Satan:''' And yet we are! So get ready for Beer Pong, everyone, Beirut, the sport of philosophers and kings. Follow me, alright? And quickly. Lest we continue getting interrupted.
  519.  
  520. [''Two of the following seven dialogues will play, depending on who Milo and Lola chose as a partner.'']
  521.  
  522. {{#tag:tabber|(Picked Sam)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Sam)</h5><blockquote>
  523. '''Sam:''' C'mon, Luke.... Morningstar, you know how many people have come up to me to say that they're worried about you? It's been a lot-- a big number, and-- look, I even had my doubts this would work. Okay? We haven't exactly been celebrating Christmases together, you know, but--
  524.  
  525. '''Chernabog:''' He's not listening to you, lady. Understand that? Can you understand that this is about Milo and Lola? So shut up.
  526.  
  527. '''Sam:'''Well somebody here got out of the wrong side of the-- the-- uh, what's the saying? Fridge? Is a refrigerator involved?--
  528.  
  529. '''Lola:''' It's a refrigerator, yeah.
  530. </blockquote>
  531. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Apollyon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Apollyon)</h5><blockquote>
  532. '''Apollyon:''' Do you remember March of last year? I had a ten million year birthday party. And you ended up so drunk you burned down half of Gruntilda Lane?
  533.  
  534. '''Chernabog:''' He doesn't remember cause he was drunk, lady-- and he's not listening to you, understand?
  535.  
  536. '''Apollyon:''' I have more and better memories from when we were ten seconds old than of any time after--
  537.  
  538. (TBC)
  539. </blockquote>
  540. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Asmodeus)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Asmodeus)</h5><blockquote>
  541. (TBC)
  542. </blockquote>
  543. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Wormhorn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Wormhorn)</h5><blockquote>
  544. '''Wormhorn:''' Wait, I-- I think I could be of some assistance here.
  545.  
  546. '''Apollyon:''' No, Mary, you--
  547.  
  548. '''Wormhorn:''' Luke, you're a very ''nervous'' fellow... right?
  549.  
  550. '''Chernabog:''' He's not listening to you, freak. So shut the Hell up.
  551.  
  552. '''Wormhorn:''' Well, I'm all out of ideas.
  553. </blockquote>
  554. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Lynda Landon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Lynda Landon)</h5><blockquote>
  555. '''Lynda:''' Uh... I honestly didn't know that this was, like, gonna be like this, so... I'm thinking maybe we just put a-- like, get a raincheck or something? Like... let you all sort it out... first.
  556.  
  557. '''Chernabog:''' Do whatever the Hell you want. But if you forfeit your turn, it'll only hurt Milo and Lola. You know? The ones who this whole thing is about? It's not about Satan's Hellcoholism. If you can even call it that. Which I don't.
  558. </blockquote>
  559. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Fela)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Fela)</h5><blockquote>
  560. '''Fela:''' Wait-- wait-- wait, guys, this-- I-- I don't feel right about participating, you know? It's-- this feels weird, now.
  561.  
  562. '''Chernabog:''' Do whatever the Hell you want. But if you forfeit your turn, it'll only hurt Milo and Lola. You know? The ones who this whole thing is about? It's not about Satan's Hellcoholism. If you can even call it that. Which I don't.
  563. </blockquote>
  564. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)</h5><blockquote>
  565. '''Drunk Idiot Demon:''' Lucifer! Luke, I-- I don't really know you that well, but... Can I-- can I get a ride home, later?
  566.  
  567. '''Beelzebub:''' Who-- why is this thing here?
  568.  
  569. '''Lola:''' Yeah, who-- brought that guy?
  570.  
  571. '''Drunk Idiot Demon:''' Yeah, who brought me, anyway?...
  572. </blockquote>
  573. }}
  574.  
  575. === '''Satan's Drinking Contest - Round 1''' ===
  576. [''They must eventually reach the beer pong table in the back patio.'']
  577.  
  578. '''Satan:''' Okay. Here's how we do this--
  579.  
  580. '''Apollyon:''' Morningstar! What the fuck are you doing?! Don't you hear what we're trying to say to you?! That you have a problem, that-- that-- that Hell is crumbling because of it?!
  581.  
  582. '''Satan:''' Two teams! Two teams, yours and mine-- we play.
  583.  
  584. '''Apollyon:''' We're going to keep talking whether or not you want to listen.
  585.  
  586. '''Satan:''' Teams take turns, no cheating, no cuts. Winner takes all. Just like love and war. Easy enough? Father Chock-A-Block!
  587.  
  588. [''Satan's bartender teleports in.'']
  589.  
  590. '''Satan:''' Pick a drink. I opened up the house barrels, so... the selection is wide and varied.
  591.  
  592. '''Satan Bartender:''' Hey, good to see you, again. Want something else?
  593.  
  594. [''Milo and Lola can choose from a selection of two drinks from every bar encountered so far aside from Little Rantalia's courtroom.'']
  595.  
  596. {{#tag:tabber|Bang Bang=<h5 style="display:none">Bang Bang</h5><blockquote>
  597. '''Lola:''' A Bang Bang, if you please.
  598. </blockquote>
  599. {{!}}-{{!}}Global Extinction=<h5 style="display:none">Global Extinction</h5><blockquote>
  600. (TBC)
  601. </blockquote>
  602. {{!}}-{{!}}The Great Fall=<h5 style="display:none">The Great Fall</h5><blockquote>
  603. (TBC)
  604. </blockquote>
  605. {{!}}-{{!}}Blue Devil=<h5 style="display:none">Blue Devil</h5><blockquote>
  606. (TBC)
  607. </blockquote>
  608. {{!}}-{{!}}Grand Exhibitionist=<h5 style="display:none">Grand Exhibitionist</h5><blockquote>
  609. (TBC)
  610. </blockquote>
  611. {{!}}-{{!}}Jeffrey Bomber=<h5 style="display:none">Jeffrey Bomber</h5><blockquote>
  612. (TBC)
  613. </blockquote>
  614. {{!}}-{{!}}The Black Death=<h5 style="display:none">The Black Death</h5><blockquote>
  615. '''Lola:''' A Black Death, if you can spare the time.
  616. </blockquote>
  617. {{!}}-{{!}}Headless Groom=<h5 style="display:none">Headless Groom</h5><blockquote>
  618. (TBC)
  619. </blockquote>
  620. {{!}}-{{!}}Tommy Gun=<h5 style="display:none">Tommy Gun</h5><blockquote>
  621. (TBC)
  622. </blockquote>
  623. {{!}}-{{!}}Bloody Stool=<h5 style="display:none">Bloody Stool</h5><blockquote>
  624. (TBC)
  625. </blockquote>
  626. {{!}}-{{!}}Bluebeard's Last Wife=<h5 style="display:none">Bluebeard's Last Wife</h5><blockquote>
  627. '''Lola:''' A Bluebeard's Last Wife is what I will have.
  628. </blockquote>
  629. {{!}}-{{!}}Literally Acid=<h5 style="display:none">Literally Acid</h5><blockquote>
  630. (TBC)
  631. </blockquote>
  632. {{!}}-{{!}}Ling Chi=<h5 style="display:none">Ling Chi</h5><blockquote>
  633. (TBC)
  634. </blockquote>
  635. {{!}}-{{!}}Famous Last Words=<h5 style="display:none">Famous Last Words</h5><blockquote>
  636. '''Lola:''' Get me a Famous Last Words.
  637. </blockquote>
  638. }}
  639.  
  640. '''Satan Bartender:''' Good pick, it's sort of my specialty.
  641.  
  642. '''Satan:''' Okay, go up to your side when ready.
  643.  
  644. [''Milo and Lola must take their positions at the table.'']
  645.  
  646. {{#tag:tabber|(Picked Sam)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Sam)</h5><blockquote>
  647. {{#tag:tabber|(Variant 1)=<h5 style="display:none">(Variant 1)</h5><blockquote>
  648. '''Sam:''' You know, kids, I'd, uh, I'd play for your honor and everything, but... Luke is my brother. And I feel like I should set a proper example... as well as I can anyway.
  649. </blockquote>
  650. {{!}}-{{!}}(Variant 2)=<h5 style="display:none">(Variant 2)</h5><blockquote>
  651. '''Sam:''' Yeah, just skip my turn, okay? I don't-- I don't really feel good about playing Beer Pong against my Hellcoholic brother.
  652. </blockquote>
  653. {{!}}-{{!}}(Variant 3)=<h5 style="display:none">(Variant 3)</h5><blockquote>
  654. '''Sam:''' Still not interested, guys. Thanks.
  655. </blockquote>
  656. {{!}}-{{!}}(Variant 4)=<h5 style="display:none">(Variant 4)</h5><blockquote>
  657. '''Sam:''' Nope, I don't really think this is gonna ever-- yeah, no, I-- I am never going to play this with you, no.
  658. </blockquote>
  659. }}
  660.  
  661. [''Sam refuses to play.'']
  662. </blockquote>
  663. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Apollyon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Apollyon)</h5><blockquote>
  664. {{#tag:tabber|(Variant 1)=<h5 style="display:none">(Variant 1)</h5><blockquote>
  665. '''Apollyon:''' I played Beer Pong enough with you when Pangaea was still housing the monkeys, Lucifer. This isn't cute anymore.
  666. </blockquote>
  667. {{!}}-{{!}}(Variant 2)=<h5 style="display:none">(Variant 2)</h5><blockquote>
  668. '''Apollyon:''' I'm not playing this stupid fucking game.
  669. </blockquote>
  670. }}
  671.  
  672. [''Apollyon refuses to play.'']
  673. </blockquote>
  674. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Asmodeus)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Asmodeus)</h5><blockquote>
  675. (TBC)
  676. </blockquote>
  677. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Wormhorn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Wormhorn)</h5><blockquote>
  678. '''Wormhorn:''' Awesome! I'm up! I feel like I should be pretty good at this by now.
  679.  
  680. '''Vetala:''' What the fuck are you?
  681.  
  682. '''Wormhorn:''' I'm... Sister Mary Wormhorn.
  683.  
  684. {{#tag:tabber|(Score)=<h5 style="display:none">(Score)</h5><blockquote>
  685. '''Wormhorn:''' Yes!
  686. </blockquote>
  687. {{!}}-{{!}}(Loss)=<h5 style="display:none">(Loss)</h5><blockquote>
  688. '''Wormhorn:''' Shit, sorry.
  689. </blockquote>
  690. }}
  691. </blockquote>
  692. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Lynda Landon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Lynda Landon)</h5><blockquote>
  693. '''Lynda:''' Oookay, it's definitely been a while. But, um, I'll give it my best shot, kids. Alright?
  694.  
  695. '''Chernabog:''' Can we move the cups up? I feel like she needs a handicap or something.
  696.  
  697. '''Lynda:''' [light laugh] You're hilarious.
  698.  
  699. {{#tag:tabber|(Score)=<h5 style="display:none">(Score)</h5><blockquote>
  700. '''Lynda:''' Woo!
  701. </blockquote>
  702. {{!}}-{{!}}(Loss)=<h5 style="display:none">(Loss)</h5><blockquote>
  703. '''Lynda:''' Damn it, sorry, guys.
  704. </blockquote>
  705. }}
  706. </blockquote>
  707. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Fela)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Fela)</h5><blockquote>
  708. {{#tag:tabber|(Variant 1)=<h5 style="display:none">(Variant 1)</h5><blockquote>
  709. '''Fela:''' Yeah, I-- I'm not gonna play. I don't think we should be encouraging this.
  710. </blockquote>
  711. {{!}}-{{!}}(Variant 2)=<h5 style="display:none">(Variant 2)</h5><blockquote>
  712. '''Fela:''' Nah, I'll-- you-- you can just skip my turn.
  713. </blockquote>
  714. }}
  715.  
  716. </blockquote>
  717. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)</h5><blockquote>
  718. '''Drunk Idiot Demon:''' O-- okay, let's-- let's see here. Okay, can someone stop moving the table so much, please?
  719.  
  720. '''Milo:''' We're boned.
  721.  
  722. '''Drunk Idiot Demon:''' Yeah! See! I can do... things.
  723.  
  724. {{#tag:tabber|ddddddd=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd</h5><blockquote>
  725. (TBC)
  726. </blockquote>
  727. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd2=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd2</h5><blockquote>
  728. (TBC)
  729. </blockquote>
  730. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd2 (Drunk)=<h5 style="display:none"> (Drunk)</h5><blockquote>
  731. '''Lola:''' Hold your mud, man, and hit that cup!
  732. </blockquote>
  733. }}
  734. </blockquote>
  735. }}
  736.  
  737. {{#tag:tabber|(If teammate refused to play)=<h5 style="display:none">(If teammate refused to play)</h5><blockquote>
  738. {{#tag:tabber|(Variant 1)=<h5 style="display:none">(Variant 1)</h5><blockquote>
  739. {{#tag:tabber|If you really don't want to...=<h5 style="display:none">If you really don't want to...</h5><blockquote>
  740. '''Lola:''' I guess if you really don't want to, or-- think it'll hurt Lucifer or whatever.
  741. </blockquote>
  742. {{!}}-{{!}}We chose you for the team so help us!=<h5 style="display:none">We chose you for the team so help us!</h5><blockquote>
  743. '''Lola:''' We chose you for the team! Remember that? C'mon, help us out!
  744. </blockquote>
  745. }}
  746. </blockquote>
  747. {{!}}-{{!}}(Variant 2)=<h5 style="display:none">(Variant 2)</h5><blockquote>
  748. {{#tag:tabber|C'mon, help us out and play the game!=<h5 style="display:none">C'mon, help us out and play the game!</h5><blockquote>
  749. (TBC)
  750. </blockquote>
  751. {{!}}-{{!}}Do what you think is right.=<h5 style="display:none">Do what you think is right.</h5><blockquote>
  752. '''Lola:''' Okay, fine, do... do what you think is right.
  753. </blockquote>
  754. }}
  755. </blockquote>
  756. }}
  757. '''Vetala:''' [laughing]
  758.  
  759. '''Chad:''' [laughing]
  760. </blockquote>
  761. }}
  762.  
  763. {{#tag:tabber|(Variant 1)=<h5 style="display:none">(Variant 1)</h5><blockquote>
  764. {{#tag:tabber|The cup's not that far!=<h5 style="display:none">The cup's not that far!</h5><blockquote>
  765. (TBC)
  766. </blockquote>
  767. {{!}}-{{!}}Just do the thing. That wins.=<h5 style="display:none">Just do the thing. That wins.</h5><blockquote>
  768. (TBC)
  769. </blockquote>
  770. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Liquid Courage)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Liquid Courage)</h5><blockquote>
  771. (TBC)
  772. </blockquote>
  773. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Sports Fanatic)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Sports Fanatic)</h5><blockquote>
  774. (TBC)
  775. </blockquote>
  776. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Raging Psycho)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Raging Psycho)</h5><blockquote>
  777. (TBC)
  778. </blockquote>
  779. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Evil Genius)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Evil Genius)</h5><blockquote>
  780. (TBC)
  781. </blockquote>
  782. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Rich Asshole)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Rich Asshole)</h5><blockquote>
  783. (TBC)
  784. </blockquote>
  785. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Witty Vaudevillian)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Witty Vaudevillian)</h5><blockquote>
  786. (TBC)
  787. </blockquote>
  788. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Lovable Lush)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Lovable Lush)</h5><blockquote>
  789. (TBC)
  790. </blockquote>
  791. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Witty Asshole)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Witty Asshole)</h5><blockquote>
  792. (TBC)
  793. </blockquote>
  794. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Mad Mobster)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Mad Mobster)</h5><blockquote>
  795. (TBC)
  796. </blockquote>
  797. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Hopeless Romantic)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Hopeless Romantic)</h5><blockquote>
  798. (TBC)
  799. </blockquote>
  800. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Mad Mobster)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Mad Mobster)</h5><blockquote>
  801. (TBC)
  802. </blockquote>
  803. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Flirty Floozy)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Flirty Floozy)</h5><blockquote>
  804. (TBC)
  805. </blockquote>
  806. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Pirate Captain)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Pirate Captain)</h5><blockquote>
  807. (TBC)
  808. </blockquote>
  809. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Club Killer)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Club Killer)</h5><blockquote>
  810. (TBC)
  811. </blockquote>
  812. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Cheeseball)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Cheeseball)</h5><blockquote>
  813. (TBC)
  814. </blockquote>
  815. {{!}}-{{!}}You miss and I'll slug you. (Prison Bully)=<h5 style="display:none">You miss and I'll slug you. (Prison Bully)</h5><blockquote>
  816. '''Lola:''' Don't even think about missing-- don't blink, don't breathe when you throw it. Just hit the cup and you won't walk outta here with a black eye
  817. </blockquote>
  818. }}
  819. </blockquote>
  820. {{!}}-{{!}}(Variant 2)=<h5 style="display:none">(Variant 2)</h5><blockquote>
  821. {{#tag:tabber|Hope you make it!=<h5 style="display:none">Hope you make it!</h5><blockquote>
  822. (TBC)
  823. </blockquote>
  824. {{!}}-{{!}}You're great, just play!=<h5 style="display:none">You're great, just play!</h5><blockquote>
  825. (TBC)
  826. </blockquote>
  827. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Liquid Courage)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Liquid Courage)</h5><blockquote>
  828. (TBC)
  829. </blockquote>
  830. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Sports Fanatic)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Sports Fanatic)</h5><blockquote>
  831. (TBC)
  832. </blockquote>
  833. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Raging Psycho)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Raging Psycho)</h5><blockquote>
  834. (TBC)
  835. </blockquote>
  836. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Evil Genius)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Evil Genius)</h5><blockquote>
  837. (TBC)
  838. </blockquote>
  839. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Rich Asshole)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Rich Asshole)</h5><blockquote>
  840. (TBC)
  841. </blockquote>
  842. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Witty Vaudevillian)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Witty Vaudevillian)</h5><blockquote>
  843. (TBC)
  844. </blockquote>
  845. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Lovable Lush)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Lovable Lush)</h5><blockquote>
  846. (TBC)
  847. </blockquote>
  848. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Witty Asshole)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Witty Asshole)</h5><blockquote>
  849. (TBC)
  850. </blockquote>
  851. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Mad Mobster)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Mad Mobster)</h5><blockquote>
  852. (TBC)
  853. </blockquote>
  854. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Hopeless Romantic)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Hopeless Romantic)</h5><blockquote>
  855. (TBC)
  856. </blockquote>
  857. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Mad Mobster)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Mad Mobster)</h5><blockquote>
  858. (TBC)
  859. </blockquote>
  860. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Flirty Floozy)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Flirty Floozy)</h5><blockquote>
  861. (TBC)
  862. </blockquote>
  863. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Pirate Captain)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Pirate Captain)</h5><blockquote>
  864. (TBC)
  865. </blockquote>
  866. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Club Killer)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Club Killer)</h5><blockquote>
  867. (TBC)
  868. </blockquote>
  869. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Cheeseball)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Cheeseball)</h5><blockquote>
  870. (TBC)
  871. </blockquote>
  872. {{!}}-{{!}}Beat 'em! Humiliate 'em! (Prison Bully)=<h5 style="display:none">Beat 'em! Humiliate 'em! (Prison Bully)</h5><blockquote>
  873. '''Milo:''' Look, don't beat them so bad that they can't look their mothers in the eye on Christmas morning-- uh, but beat them, you know, bad enough that they know they're complete wastes of time and energy.
  874. </blockquote>
  875. }}
  876. </blockquote>
  877. {{!}}-{{!}}(Variant 3)=<h5 style="display:none">(Variant 3)</h5><blockquote>
  878. {{#tag:tabber|You can do it!=<h5 style="display:none">You can do it!</h5><blockquote>
  879. '''Lola:''' C'mon, buddy, you can make it!
  880. </blockquote>
  881. {{!}}-{{!}}Uh, don't miss?=<h5 style="display:none">Uh, don't miss?</h5><blockquote>
  882. (TBC)
  883. </blockquote>
  884. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Liquid Courage)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Liquid Courage)</h5><blockquote>
  885. (TBC)
  886. </blockquote>
  887. {{!}}-{{!}}Go for the extra point! (Sports Fanatic)=<h5 style="display:none">Go for the extra point! (Sports Fanatic)</h5><blockquote>
  888. '''Lola:''' Go for the extra point!
  889. </blockquote>
  890. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Raging Psycho)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Raging Psycho)</h5><blockquote>
  891. (TBC)
  892. </blockquote>
  893. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Evil Genius)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Evil Genius)</h5><blockquote>
  894. (TBC)
  895. </blockquote>
  896. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Rich Asshole)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Rich Asshole)</h5><blockquote>
  897. (TBC)
  898. </blockquote>
  899. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Witty Vaudevillian)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Witty Vaudevillian)</h5><blockquote>
  900. (TBC)
  901. </blockquote>
  902. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Lovable Lush)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Lovable Lush)</h5><blockquote>
  903. (TBC)
  904. </blockquote>
  905. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Witty Asshole)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Witty Asshole)</h5><blockquote>
  906. (TBC)
  907. </blockquote>
  908. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Mad Mobster)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Mad Mobster)</h5><blockquote>
  909. (TBC)
  910. </blockquote>
  911. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Hopeless Romantic)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Hopeless Romantic)</h5><blockquote>
  912. (TBC)
  913. </blockquote>
  914. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Mad Mobster)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Mad Mobster)</h5><blockquote>
  915. (TBC)
  916. </blockquote>
  917. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Flirty Floozy)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Flirty Floozy)</h5><blockquote>
  918. (TBC)
  919. </blockquote>
  920. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Pirate Captain)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Pirate Captain)</h5><blockquote>
  921. (TBC)
  922. </blockquote>
  923. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Club Killer)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Club Killer)</h5><blockquote>
  924. (TBC)
  925. </blockquote>
  926. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Cheeseball)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Cheeseball)</h5><blockquote>
  927. (TBC)
  928. </blockquote>
  929. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Prison Bully)=<h5 style="display:none">Beat 'em! Humiliate 'em! (Prison Bully)</h5><blockquote>
  930. (TBC)
  931. </blockquote>
  932. }}
  933. </blockquote>
  934. {{!}}-{{!}}(Variant 4)=<h5 style="display:none">(Variant 4)</h5><blockquote>
  935. {{#tag:tabber|Just imagine your happy place.=<h5 style="display:none">Just imagine your happy place.</h5><blockquote>
  936. (TBC)
  937. </blockquote>
  938. {{!}}-{{!}}You're going to do great, I can tell!=<h5 style="display:none">You're going to do great, I can tell!</h5><blockquote>
  939. '''Milo:''' Yeah, you're going to-- to do so well, I can tell, really!
  940. </blockquote>
  941. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Liquid Courage)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Liquid Courage)</h5><blockquote>
  942. (TBC)
  943. </blockquote>
  944. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Sports Fanatic)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Sports Fanatic)</h5><blockquote>
  945. (TBC)
  946. </blockquote>
  947. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Raging Psycho)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Raging Psycho)</h5><blockquote>
  948. (TBC)
  949. </blockquote>
  950. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Evil Genius)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Evil Genius)</h5><blockquote>
  951. (TBC)
  952. </blockquote>
  953. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Rich Asshole)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Rich Asshole)</h5><blockquote>
  954. (TBC)
  955. </blockquote>
  956. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Witty Vaudevillian)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Witty Vaudevillian)</h5><blockquote>
  957. (TBC)
  958. </blockquote>
  959. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Lovable Lush)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Lovable Lush)</h5><blockquote>
  960. (TBC)
  961. </blockquote>
  962. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Witty Asshole)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Witty Asshole)</h5><blockquote>
  963. (TBC)
  964. </blockquote>
  965. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Mad Mobster)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Mad Mobster)</h5><blockquote>
  966. (TBC)
  967. </blockquote>
  968. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Hopeless Romantic)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Hopeless Romantic)</h5><blockquote>
  969. (TBC)
  970. </blockquote>
  971. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Mad Mobster)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Mad Mobster)</h5><blockquote>
  972. (TBC)
  973. </blockquote>
  974. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Flirty Floozy)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Flirty Floozy)</h5><blockquote>
  975. (TBC)
  976. </blockquote>
  977. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Pirate Captain)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Pirate Captain)</h5><blockquote>
  978. (TBC)
  979. </blockquote>
  980. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Club Killer)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Club Killer)</h5><blockquote>
  981. (TBC)
  982. </blockquote>
  983. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Cheeseball)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Cheeseball)</h5><blockquote>
  984. (TBC)
  985. </blockquote>
  986. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Prison Bully)=<h5 style="display:none">Beat 'em! Humiliate 'em! (Prison Bully)</h5><blockquote>
  987. (TBC)
  988. </blockquote>
  989. }}
  990. </blockquote>
  991. }}
  992.  
  993. {{#tag:tabber|(Satan's turn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Satan's turn)</h5><blockquote>
  994. <poem>
  995. Score:
  996. '''Satan:''' Thank you, thank you.
  997. '''Satan:''' Would have been embarrassing if I missed, right?
  998. '''Satan:''' I mean, I should get these in.
  999. '''Satan:''' Hoo-hoo, man, that almost didn't make it.
  1000.  
  1001. Miss:
  1002. '''Satan:''' God-- fuck.
  1003. </poem>
  1004. </blockquote>
  1005. {{!}}-{{!}}(Lola's turn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Lola's turn)</h5><blockquote>
  1006. '''Lola:''' C'mon, buddy, you can make it!
  1007. </blockquote>
  1008. {{!}}-{{!}}(Milo's turn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Milo's turn)</h5><blockquote>
  1009. '''Milo:''' C'mon, Lola! You can do it!
  1010. </blockquote>
  1011. {{!}}-{{!}}(Vetala's turn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Vetala's turn)</h5><blockquote>
  1012. <poem>
  1013. Score:
  1014. '''Vetala:''' Still got it.
  1015. '''Satan:''' Hey, great-- [light laugh]-- great job.
  1016.  
  1017. '''Vetala:''' Oh, eat shit, losers.
  1018. '''Satan:''' I knew you could do it!
  1019.  
  1020. Miss:
  1021. '''Chernabog:''' Nice one, you Goddamn waste of celestial space! Open your eyes!
  1022. '''Vetala:''' Shut up, Chernabog!
  1023. '''Satan:''' You'll get it next time.
  1024.  
  1025. '''Morrigan:''' You're joking with that, right? Why are you so bad?!
  1026. '''Vetala:''' I am not bad, the table keeps-- shifting-- and--
  1027. '''Satan:''' Ha ha, yeah, you have to get it in the hole, there.
  1028.  
  1029. '''Chad:''' Ugh, why are you even on the team, you fucking useless moron?
  1030. '''Vetala:''' Me? Why are you? You're-- you're-- you're Chad! What are you even doing here?!
  1031. '''Satan:''' You'll get it next time.
  1032. </poem>
  1033. </blockquote>
  1034. {{!}}-{{!}}(Chernabog's turn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Chernabog's turn)</h5><blockquote>
  1035. <poem>
  1036. Score:
  1037. '''Chernabog:''' Shit yeah. Awesome.
  1038. '''Satan:''' Hey, great-- [light laugh]-- great job.
  1039.  
  1040. '''Chernabog:''' Great! I did it.
  1041. '''Satan:''' Ha ha ha, have you been practicing?
  1042.  
  1043. Miss:
  1044. '''Vetala:''' Fuckin' asshole. Open your eyes!
  1045. '''Chernabog:''' Oh, I'm trying, Christ.
  1046. '''Satan:''' Relax, guys, it's only a game.
  1047.  
  1048. '''Chad:''' Are you serious? How can you be this bad?
  1049. '''Chernabog:''' How can you be that-- be that ugly, huh? Ever ponder that one?
  1050. '''Satan:''' Chernabog...
  1051.  
  1052. '''Morrigan:''' Just put it in the cup!
  1053. '''Chernabog:''' I tried, asswipe, it just didn't go in!
  1054. '''Satan:''' Don't worry about it, guys.
  1055. </poem>
  1056. </blockquote>
  1057. {{!}}-{{!}}(Chad's turn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Chad's turn)</h5><blockquote>
  1058. <poem>
  1059. Score:
  1060. (TBC)
  1061.  
  1062. Miss:
  1063. '''Chernabog:''' Dear Lucifer, humans really aren't worth the bones they're printed on.
  1064. '''Chad:''' Oh like you're doing much better!
  1065. '''Satan:''' Can you just stop yelling at each other, please?
  1066.  
  1067. '''Vetala:''' Ugh, I can't believe we wasted a spot on this chode.
  1068. '''Chad:''' Hey, I'm-- I'm trying, okay?!
  1069. '''Satan:''' Vetala, stop it, it's supposed to be fun.
  1070.  
  1071. '''Morrigan:''' Chad! What the Hell was that?!
  1072. '''Chad:''' It's-- the table's all weird, it's not my fault!
  1073. '''Satan:''' Let's not fall to pieces over a bad toss.
  1074. </poem>
  1075. </blockquote>
  1076. }}
  1077.  
  1078. ==== '''After the Game''' ====
  1079.  
  1080. '''Satan:''' God, I love this game!
  1081.  
  1082. [''Satan collapses.'']
  1083.  
  1084. '''Apollyon:''' Christ, get him up.
  1085.  
  1086. [''Satan gets to his feet.'']
  1087.  
  1088. '''Satan:''' I'm fucking fine, okay. Jesus Joseph, it's a fucking party! Relax. We're all just having a good time, okay?
  1089.  
  1090. '''Apollyon:''' This isn't a good time!
  1091.  
  1092. {{#tag:tabber|Are you okay, man?=<h5 style="display:none">Are you okay, man?</h5><blockquote>
  1093. '''Lola:''' Hey man, are-- are you okay?
  1094.  
  1095. '''Satan:''' Of course, I'm-- I'm fine.
  1096. </blockquote>
  1097. {{!}}-{{!}}Yeeshh...=<h5 style="display:none">Yeeshh...</h5><blockquote>
  1098. (TBC)
  1099. </blockquote>
  1100. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Liquid Courage)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Liquid Courage)</h5><blockquote>
  1101. (TBC)
  1102. </blockquote>
  1103. {{!}}-{{!}}Touchdown! (Sports Fanatic)=<h5 style="display:none">Touchdown! (Sports Fanatic)</h5><blockquote>
  1104. '''Lola:''' Touchdown! Two points, safety! Uh... and so on.
  1105. </blockquote>
  1106. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Raging Psycho)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Raging Psycho)</h5><blockquote>
  1107. (TBC)
  1108. </blockquote>
  1109. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Evil Genius)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Evil Genius)</h5><blockquote>
  1110. (TBC)
  1111. </blockquote>
  1112. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Rich Asshole)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Rich Asshole)</h5><blockquote>
  1113. (TBC)
  1114. </blockquote>
  1115. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Witty Vaudevillian)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Witty Vaudevillian)</h5><blockquote>
  1116. (TBC)
  1117. </blockquote>
  1118. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Lovable Lush)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Lovable Lush)</h5><blockquote>
  1119. (TBC)
  1120. </blockquote>
  1121. {{!}}-{{!}}Party foul! (Witty Asshole)=<h5 style="display:none">Party foul! (Witty Asshole)</h5><blockquote>
  1122. '''Lola:''' Whoops. Party foul!
  1123. </blockquote>
  1124. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Mad Mobster)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Mad Mobster)</h5><blockquote>
  1125. (TBC)
  1126. </blockquote>
  1127. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Hopeless Romantic)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Hopeless Romantic)</h5><blockquote>
  1128. (TBC)
  1129. </blockquote>
  1130. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Mad Mobster)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Mad Mobster)</h5><blockquote>
  1131. (TBC)
  1132. </blockquote>
  1133. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Flirty Floozy)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Flirty Floozy)</h5><blockquote>
  1134. (TBC)
  1135. </blockquote>
  1136. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Pirate Captain)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Pirate Captain)</h5><blockquote>
  1137. (TBC)
  1138. </blockquote>
  1139. {{!}}-{{!}}ddddddd (Club Killer)=<h5 style="display:none">ddddddd (Club Killer)</h5><blockquote>
  1140. (TBC)
  1141. </blockquote>
  1142. {{!}}-{{!}}Whoa! Look out below! (Cheeseball)=<h5 style="display:none">Whoa! Look out below! (Cheeseball)</h5><blockquote>
  1143. '''Lola:''' Whoa! Look out below, wide-load comin' through!
  1144. </blockquote>
  1145. {{!}}-{{!}}Pretty weak, man. (Prison Bully)=<h5 style="display:none">Pretty weak, man. (Prison Bully)</h5><blockquote>
  1146. '''Lola:''' Not a good look, man. You can't be weak in a place like this. You'll get taken advantage of.
  1147. </blockquote>
  1148. }}
  1149.  
  1150. [''Apollyon snaps her fingers, causing all drinks to disappear.'']
  1151.  
  1152. '''Apollyon:''' I'm calling it, okay-- this is a straight-edge party now, you're all teetotalers.
  1153.  
  1154. [''Satan kneels and puts his finger in Polly's face.'']
  1155.  
  1156. '''Satan:''' This isn't your party to control, Polly.
  1157.  
  1158. '''Apollyon:''' You don't even know where you are right now, Morningstar!
  1159.  
  1160. '''Satan:''' I certainly hope you're joking, Apollyon. It's a bit of a character flaw of mine: I can't accept disrespect. Not in my own house. I follow our father in that regard.
  1161.  
  1162. '''Apollyon:''' Am I kidding with you?! No! Take a step back. Now.
  1163.  
  1164. {{#tag:tabber|Okay, guys, take it easy.=<h5 style="display:none">Okay, guys, take it easy.</h5><blockquote>
  1165. '''Lola:''' Okay, everybody, let's just-- let's take it easy.
  1166. </blockquote>
  1167. {{!}}-{{!}}Get away from her!=<h5 style="display:none">Get away from her!</h5><blockquote>
  1168. '''Lola:''' Get away from her, Lucifer. This is going too far.
  1169. </blockquote>
  1170. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1171. (TBC)
  1172. </blockquote>
  1173. }}
  1174.  
  1175. '''Apollyon:''' Morningstar, just stop.
  1176.  
  1177. '''Satan:''' They're still gonna-- they're gonna make it! They're gonna do what I-- what I never could-- Get out from under the ''cosmic plan'' someone ''else'' made for you.
  1178.  
  1179. '''Apollyon:''' Maybe they just don't want to see you completely throw your life away, Luke. ''Maybe'' Milo and Lola know better than to encourage your behavior right now. Because it's obvious to everyone but you... That you are in ''serious trouble.''
  1180.  
  1181. {{#tag:tabber|Actually, we just lost.=<h5 style="display:none">Actually, we just lost.</h5><blockquote>
  1182. '''Lola:''' Actually, Polly, sorry, didn't mean to interrupt, but we just lost.
  1183.  
  1184. '''Milo:''' Yeah, we-- I mean, we-- we want to win.
  1185.  
  1186. '''Apollyon:''' Oh my ''God'', are you kidding me with this right now!
  1187. </blockquote>
  1188. {{!}}-{{!}}Satan, this needs to stop.=<h5 style="display:none">Satan, this needs to stop.</h5><blockquote>
  1189. '''Lola:''' Satan, really. This-- this needs to stop. Look at yourself.
  1190. </blockquote>
  1191. }}
  1192.  
  1193. '''Satan:''' Alright, shit, on to Round Two. Round Two... A good old fashioned Drink Off!
  1194.  
  1195. '''Beelzebub:''' Brother...
  1196.  
  1197. '''Apollyon:''' Morningstar, that's it, we're-- we're done. You're going to sit down and listen to us and-- and hear us.
  1198.  
  1199. '''Satan:''' "Hear you?" You want me to hear you, is that what you said? "To be weak is to be miserable. To do aught good never be our task, but ever do ill our sole delight--" and now you want me to sit down, and listen... to all the ways I've disappointed you. Well... I'm not going to do it.
  1200.  
  1201. '''Beelzebub:''' Hell is without its leader, Lucifer. There are souls down here that need your wisdom-- clear-minded wisdom--
  1202.  
  1203. '''Apollyon:''' Shit, there are souls in here that need it. Your family needs it. Your family wants you back.
  1204.  
  1205. '''Satan:''' There's nothing to come back to.
  1206.  
  1207. {{#tag:tabber|Uh, maybe we should go...?=<h5 style="display:none">Uh, maybe we should go...?</h5><blockquote>
  1208. '''Milo:''' Um, maybe-- maybe we should just go...
  1209.  
  1210. '''Lola:''' Yeah, this uh... seems, I dunno-- a little-- a little personal...
  1211. </blockquote>
  1212. {{!}}-{{!}}Let's drink, assholes!=<h5 style="display:none">Let's drink, assholes!</h5><blockquote>
  1213. '''Milo:''' Okay, you guys can go back to this, uh, sad... conversation after we have the drink off and go home, alright?
  1214.  
  1215. '''Lola:''' Well, maybe we should--
  1216. </blockquote>
  1217. }}
  1218.  
  1219. '''Satan:''' The Drink Off is happening. With my real friends, okay? Right, Chernabog?
  1220.  
  1221. '''Chernabog:''' ... uh...
  1222.  
  1223. '''Satan:''' ''Right'', Chernabog?
  1224.  
  1225. '''Chernabog:''' Polly-- I mean, she's like... she's like my aunt, Luke, and--
  1226.  
  1227. '''Satan:''' Oh fucking Hell, are you-- just cause she baby-sat you when you were shat out of Tartarus--
  1228.  
  1229. '''Apollyon:''' Morningstar--
  1230.  
  1231. '''Satan:''' We are finishing the challenge! Milo! Lola! Which one is taking point?!
  1232.  
  1233. '''Beelzebub:''' This really isn't necessary, Luke.
  1234.  
  1235. '''Satan:''' Shut up, Beezle.
  1236.  
  1237. {{#tag:tabber|Uh... me, Milo? [Play as Milo]=<h5 style="display:none">Uh... me, Milo? [Play as Milo]</h5><blockquote>
  1238. '''Milo:''' Uh... me, I guess.
  1239.  
  1240. [''Milo has been chosen to play.'']
  1241. </blockquote>
  1242. {{!}}-{{!}}I guess... Lola? [Play as Lola]=<h5 style="display:none">I guess... Lola? [Play as Lola]</h5><blockquote>
  1243. '''Milo:''' Uh-- Lola, do you wanna do it?
  1244.  
  1245. '''Lola:''' Uh... sure.
  1246.  
  1247. [''Lola has been chosen to play.'']
  1248. </blockquote>
  1249. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1250. '''Satan:''' Milo. You're up.
  1251.  
  1252. [''Milo has been chosen to play.'']
  1253. </blockquote>
  1254. }}
  1255.  
  1256. '''Apollyon:''' Satan! Just-- just can't you-- fuck, Beelzebub, can you just, like--
  1257.  
  1258. '''Beelzebub:''' Yes, Luke, this has really gone on far enough. The games are over. You need help, and we're here to help you.
  1259.  
  1260. '''Satan:''' Milo, let's--
  1261.  
  1262. '''Beelzebub:''' No-- Milo, Lola, go home. You've done enough.
  1263.  
  1264. '''Satan:''' Those are my guests, Beezle.
  1265.  
  1266. '''Beelzebub:''' You don't have the capacity to make decisions right now.
  1267.  
  1268. '''Ordog:''' You can not run away from this anymore, Luke.
  1269.  
  1270. '''Beelzebub:''' Morningstar. C'mon. Sit down. Before you have another fall.
  1271.  
  1272. '''Satan:''' You guys are being so fucking lame right now. And... you know what? I don't think I want to look at you anymore.
  1273.  
  1274. '''Apollyon:''' Luke!
  1275.  
  1276. [''Satan begins to levitate along with Milo and Lola; he snaps, and they teleport away.'']'
  1277.  
  1278. === '''Satan's Drinking Contest - Round 2''' ===
  1279.  
  1280. [''Satan, Milo, and Lola reappear on a floating platform holding two thrones and a table made of skeletons, hovering in a dark area as beer bottles and shot glasses float by.'']
  1281.  
  1282. '''Satan:''' What assholes. Am I right? Oh, don't worry, they can't-- follow us here, to the Abyss, the un-world. Nature's womb. Between Heaven, Hell, and your material-- material plane. Unless God wants to fart some more unicorns into existence... then it's his damn workshop.
  1283.  
  1284. {{#tag:tabber|How can we come here?=<h5 style="display:none">How can we come here?</h5><blockquote>
  1285. {{#tag:tabber|(Favored Milo)=<h5 style="display:none">(Favored Milo)</h5><blockquote>
  1286. '''Milo:''' Uh, how did we come here, then?
  1287. </blockquote>
  1288. {{!}}-{{!}}(Favored Lola)=<h5 style="display:none">(Favored Lola)</h5><blockquote>
  1289. (TBC)
  1290. </blockquote>
  1291. }}
  1292.  
  1293. '''Satan:''' 'Cause I've been here before. Everyone else is too chicken to carve the trail. Just after the war, I went through here to, uh, encourage the first of Man to fully express their desires. You can thank me later.
  1294. </blockquote>
  1295. {{!}}-{{!}}Why'd you bring us?=<h5 style="display:none">Why'd you bring us?</h5><blockquote>
  1296. {{#tag:tabber|(Favored Milo)=<h5 style="display:none">(Favored Milo)</h5><blockquote>
  1297. '''Milo:''' Why'd... why'd you bring us? Wouldn't you rather be, like, alone right now?
  1298. </blockquote>
  1299. {{!}}-{{!}}(Favored Lola)=<h5 style="display:none">(Favored Lola)</h5><blockquote>
  1300. '''Lola:''' Why'd-- why'd you bring us? Wouldn't you rather be, like, alone right now?
  1301. </blockquote>
  1302. }}
  1303.  
  1304. '''Satan:''' No, no, I'm-- we should finish the game. Definitely.
  1305. </blockquote>
  1306. }}
  1307.  
  1308. '''Satan:''' Let me know when you're ready.
  1309.  
  1310. [''Satan takes a seat at one of the thrones, and Milo and Lola must walk over to the opposite one; as they do, Satan snaps his fingers and lifts them onto the chair.'']
  1311.  
  1312. '''Satan:''' So, it's come down to this moment. You've come quite a long way.
  1313.  
  1314. {{#tag:tabber|(Helped Lynda)=<h5 style="display:none">(Helped Lynda)</h5><blockquote>
  1315. '''Satan:''' Finding Lynda's replacement...
  1316. </blockquote>
  1317. {{!}}-{{!}}(Helped Fela)=<h5 style="display:none">(Helped Fela)</h5><blockquote>
  1318. '''Satan:''' Helping Fela with the interloper...
  1319. </blockquote>
  1320. }}
  1321.  
  1322. '''Satan:''' Polly's ridiculous trial... Asmodeus and the dance competition... you've really... bloomed into people I would be honored to let return to their world. And to their future. So. Are you ready? You've certainly had enough practice.
  1323.  
  1324. {{#tag:tabber|I'm not playing against you.=<h5 style="display:none">I'm not playing against you.</h5><blockquote>
  1325. {{#tag:tabber|(Favored Milo)=<h5 style="display:none">(Favored Milo)</h5><blockquote>
  1326. '''Milo:''' I'm not playing against you, Morningstar. It won't... it won't be good for anybody.
  1327. </blockquote>
  1328. {{!}}-{{!}}(Favored Lola)=<h5 style="display:none">(Favored Lola)</h5><blockquote>
  1329. '''Lola:''' I'm-- I'm not playing against you, Morningstar. It won't... it won't be good for anybody.
  1330. </blockquote>
  1331. }}
  1332. '''Satan:''' It won't be good for-- it'll be good for you! Polly, Ordog, Forneus, the rest-- they don't know me, anymore. They don't know what they're talking about. So. I'm starting the game now. Alright? Do you understand?
  1333.  
  1334. [''The game UI appears, and Satan starts drinking.'']
  1335.  
  1336. '''Satan:''' If I keep going... You'll fall too far behind. Then won't be able to catch up.
  1337.  
  1338. {{#tag:tabber|You seriously need help.=<h5 style="display:none">You seriously need help.</h5><blockquote>
  1339. '''Milo/Lola:''' Satan, I'm not joking. You, seriously, for real, need help.
  1340.  
  1341. '''Satan:''' ''I'' need help? You're gonna need help if you don't put down a glass!
  1342. </blockquote>
  1343. {{!}}-{{!}}(Start the game!)=<h5 style="display:none">(Start the game!)</h5><blockquote>
  1344. '''Milo:''' Fuck it, let's go.
  1345.  
  1346. [''Switch to "Start the game".'']
  1347. </blockquote>
  1348. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1349. (TBC)
  1350. </blockquote>
  1351. }}
  1352.  
  1353. '''Satan:'''' Look, this isn't a joke, pilgrim. This isn't some... trick, or moral quandary you're going to massage your way out of... There is only the game, and whether or not you want to win. So I would put down a glass. And start playing while you still can.
  1354.  
  1355. {{#tag:tabber|Your friends want to help you.=<h5 style="display:none">Your friends want to help you.</h5><blockquote>
  1356. '''Milo/Lola:''' Your friends down there? They want to help you. They're scared that--
  1357.  
  1358. '''Satan:''' They're scared? Scared of what? That I'm gonna drink myself to death?
  1359. </blockquote>
  1360. {{!}}-{{!}}(Start the game!)=<h5 style="display:none">(Start the game!)</h5><blockquote>
  1361. (TBC)
  1362. </blockquote>
  1363. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1364. (TBC)
  1365. </blockquote>
  1366. }}
  1367.  
  1368. '''Satan:''' You want to know why you're in Hell? Really? Truly? Deceit. You lie. "With one denying truth, there goes to Hell; that one who having done says, "I did not." You lied to Fela, as you lied in life, as you are lying to yourselves right now that you want to help me-- You don't want to help me. You want to beat this silly piece of entertaining drivel some secret way. Well, there is no secret way! So pick up you glass and drink with me.
  1369.  
  1370. {{#tag:tabber|Why we're here doesn't matter.=<h5 style="display:none">Why we're here doesn't matter.</h5><blockquote>
  1371. '''Milo/Lola:''' Why we're here doesn't matter, right now, Luke.
  1372. </blockquote>
  1373. {{!}}-{{!}}(Start the game!)=<h5 style="display:none">(Start the game!)</h5><blockquote>
  1374. (TBC)
  1375. </blockquote>
  1376. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1377. (TBC)
  1378. </blockquote>
  1379. }}
  1380.  
  1381. '''Satan:''' Okay, I know that you think that I am going to learn some lesson, here. It's painfully obvious that you're trying to do the right thing. But I'm here to tell you. So I don't wanna hear any fucking whining after... Because I warned you, repeatedly, that all that's going to happen unless you start playing... is I will win. And you will lose. You'll be here. Forever. And nothing good will have come of it. So you should really consider...
  1382.  
  1383. {{#tag:tabber|I'm not drinking with you.=<h5 style="display:none">I'm not drinking with you.</h5><blockquote>
  1384. '''Milo/Lola:''' I'm not drinking with you. Okay? It's-- it's not gonna happen, no matter how much you may want it to.
  1385. {{#tag:tabber|(Favored Milo)=<h5 style="display:none">(Favored Milo)</h5><blockquote>
  1386. '''Milo:''' Or-- or-- or need it to. You don't need to do this, to pretend you're happy that everything's alright. Take it from me, you... really don't.
  1387. </blockquote>
  1388. {{!}}-{{!}}(Favored Lola)=<h5 style="display:none">(Favored Lola)</h5><blockquote>
  1389. '''Lola:''' Or ''need'' it to. You don't need to drink to be happy, Satan. Take it from me, you really don't.
  1390. </blockquote>
  1391. }}
  1392. </blockquote>
  1393. {{!}}-{{!}}(Start the game!)=<h5 style="display:none">(Start the game!)</h5><blockquote>
  1394. (TBC)
  1395. </blockquote>
  1396. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1397. (TBC)
  1398. </blockquote>
  1399. }}
  1400.  
  1401. '''Satan:''' You know, you come into the light, thinking "I'm pretty special." And then you get a little older and people tell you, actually, you're not that special, and you believe it. You get older still, and now your banner says... "What I do defines me-- my... charity, my wicked acts." And then you get older still, and you realize it's been luck that's determined your entire life. Were you born impoverished, or rich, or ill. Did you die as a child, did your mother love you. And then you realize all life is driven by it. A half second too slow, oxygen never bonds, a half minute too fast... a planet doesn't emerge-- Everything that is... is here by an infinite number of fortuitous accidents and lucky breaks. And in the yawn of all that, you think, finally, conclusively: "Fuck, I ''am'' pretty special." That's my dad's loop of self-determination no living soul can ever escape. And believe me, I've tried. But I'm giving you something He never could: a gift of achievement. You can accomplish something, here. Sitting in that chair, playing this game. You can feel like you've beaten a God. Some people go their whole lives without that feeling. And I wouldn't squander it if I were you.
  1402.  
  1403. [''Satan stands up, causing Milo and Lola to flinch back.'']
  1404.  
  1405. '''Satan:''' So put down your fucking glass!
  1406.  
  1407. {{#tag:tabber|We're done.=<h5 style="display:none">We're done.</h5><blockquote>
  1408. '''Milo:''' I think we're done.
  1409. </blockquote>
  1410. {{!}}-{{!}}(Start the game!)=<h5 style="display:none">(Start the game!)</h5><blockquote>
  1411. (TBC)
  1412. </blockquote>
  1413. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1414. (TBC)
  1415. </blockquote>
  1416. }}
  1417.  
  1418. [''Satan stacks another glass on his tower, and the glasses all break. The game ends.'']
  1419.  
  1420. '''Satan:''' Self-annihilation, is... that it. Suicide is a sin against God and nature-- You're the Goddamn heroes of this story, you ungrateful little-- you don't want to win? Is that it?
  1421.  
  1422. [''Satan gets up from his seat and lifts them all into the air, changing their positions; Milo and Lola on the ground, Satan standing on top of the table.'']
  1423.  
  1424. '''Satan:''' You think you can teach me about victory? About loss? You think you can teach an Angel anything?! Don't... believe... with one... atom of thought... that I don't know what you're doing.
  1425.  
  1426. {{#tag:tabber|This isn't winning.=<h5 style="display:none">This isn't winning.</h5><blockquote>
  1427. '''Lola:''' This wouldn't be winning, Luke. This would be us taking advantage of a really sad guy who's in a lot of pain who thinks he's taking advantage of us.
  1428.  
  1429. '''Satan:''' I'm-- I'm in a lot of pain?! You don't know what pain is!
  1430. </blockquote>
  1431. {{!}}-{{!}}You need to stop.=<h5 style="display:none">You need to stop.</h5><blockquote>
  1432. '''Lola:''' Luke, you need to stop. I don't want to take advantage of a really sad guy who's in a lot of pain who thinks he's taking advantage of us.
  1433.  
  1434. '''Satan:''' I'm-- I'm in a lot of pain?! You don't know what pain is!
  1435.  
  1436. </blockquote>
  1437. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1438. (TBC)
  1439. </blockquote>
  1440. }}
  1441.  
  1442. '''Satan:''' You-- you're so self-righteous. No one has ever folded. But you think you're above it. I've seen what real loss looks like, children-- what... letting down your friends looks like. And I'm seeing it again right now-- you two could have-- could have gotten out of here, gone back home-- And instead you're just... throwing it away... for a stranger.
  1443.  
  1444. {{#tag:tabber|You're not a stranger.=<h5 style="display:none">You're not a stranger.</h5><blockquote>
  1445. '''Milo:''' You're not-- not a stranger.
  1446.  
  1447. '''Satan:''' I am a complete unknown to you, yes, I am--
  1448.  
  1449. '''Lola:''' Well that doesn't matter! This-- it's too-- I dunno, this is too.... I don't-- this doesn't feel right. I don't care what you say, your friends back in Hell are right. And we're not doing this.
  1450. </blockquote>
  1451. {{!}}-{{!}}It's for more than just you.=<h5 style="display:none">It's for more than just you.</h5><blockquote>
  1452. '''Milo:''' It's-- this is for more than just you-- you have people that depend on you, that care about you--
  1453.  
  1454. '''Satan:''' They care about their appearance of caring.
  1455.  
  1456. '''Lola:''' Well, I don't think that's true. This-- It doesn't feel right. I don't care what you say, your friends back in Hell are right. And we're not doing this.
  1457. </blockquote>
  1458. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1459. (TBC)
  1460. </blockquote>
  1461. }}
  1462.  
  1463. '''Satan:''' Well, like I said. People always think they're special. But that's-- that's God lying to you. My Dad was a guy who found a beach... and started making sand castles. He's the only real lucky one.
  1464.  
  1465. {{#tag:tabber|We're all lucky to be here.=<h5 style="display:none">We're all lucky to be here.</h5><blockquote>
  1466. '''Lola:''' We're all lucky. Lucky to be here-- it's special to be here, to be anywhere, it is. You're lucky to have people who want the best for you.
  1467. </blockquote>
  1468. {{!}}-{{!}}You need to get over it.=<h5 style="display:none">You need to get over it.</h5><blockquote>
  1469. '''Lola:''' Man, you need to get the fuck over it with God, okay? You guys broke up like a hundred trillion years ago and you seem to be doing alright for yourself.
  1470. </blockquote>
  1471. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1472. (TBC)
  1473. </blockquote>
  1474. }}
  1475.  
  1476. '''Satan:''' I'm-- I'm...
  1477. </blockquote>
  1478. {{!}}-{{!}}(Start the game)=<h5 style="display:none">(Start the game)</h5><blockquote>
  1479.  
  1480. {{#tag:tabber|(Chose Milo)=<h5 style="display:none">(Chose Milo)</h5><blockquote>
  1481. '''Milo:''' Ready!
  1482.  
  1483. [''The game commences.'']
  1484.  
  1485. <poem>
  1486. Lola's comments:
  1487. '''Lola:''' He's, uh, he's fading? A little?
  1488. '''Lola:''' C'mon, let's go, don't fall too far behind!
  1489. '''Lola:''' C'mon, Milo, you got this!
  1490. '''Lola:''' Let's go, Milo, he's just a giant angel of death and torment, you can outdrink this asshole!
  1491. '''Lola:''' Just-- ignore how big he is and drink!
  1492. '''Lola:''' You're doing it-- don't-- don't look at his stack, don't get nervous!
  1493. '''Lola:''' Keep going! Don't give up!
  1494. </poem>
  1495.  
  1496. {{#tag:tabber|(Milo loses on the 1st round)=<h5 style="display:none">(Milo loses on the 1st round)</h5><blockquote>
  1497. '''Milo:''' Ugh, shit.
  1498.  
  1499. '''Satan:''' That's-- this is too bad. I'll be honest, I... I didn't expect this. I thought you two were... I mean, you-- you did the whole Monarch thing, you got the invite, to come all this way, and-- and not get it done, is.. it's annoying, to say the least. I'm-- I'm annoyed. I don't like it, it's not a good feeling.
  1500.  
  1501. {{#tag:tabber|The *two* of us...=<h5 style="display:none">The *two* of us...</h5><blockquote>
  1502. '''Lola:''' Wait... the 'two' of us... We came-- we came here together, right? We got the-- the same Processing... The same goals, the same... everything. Are we gonna get the same punishment, too?
  1503.  
  1504. '''Milo:''' Lola--
  1505.  
  1506. '''Satan:''' Most definitely.
  1507.  
  1508. '''Lola:''' "Most--" okay, then it's not over yet.
  1509.  
  1510. '''Satan:''' What do you mean.
  1511.  
  1512. '''Lola:''' It's not over yet. You didn't beat me, too.
  1513.  
  1514. '''Milo:''' Lola...
  1515.  
  1516. '''Lola:''' No. It's a team game, remember? We're friends, you're on my team, c'mon.
  1517.  
  1518. '''Satan:''' No. She's right. Rack 'em up, let's do it.
  1519. </blockquote>
  1520. {{!}}-{{!}}Let's try again!=<h5 style="display:none">Let's try again!</h5><blockquote>
  1521. '''Lola:''' Lucifer... c'mon, you-- you only drank Milo under the table. Let's let me have a try.
  1522.  
  1523. '''Satan:''' [chuckling a little] Fine. To satisfy your curiosity. And I got nothing better to do.
  1524. </blockquote>
  1525. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1526. (TBC)
  1527. </blockquote>
  1528. }}
  1529. </blockquote>
  1530. {{!}}-{{!}}(Milo wins)=<h5 style="display:none">(Milo wins)</h5><blockquote>
  1531. (TBC)
  1532. </blockquote>
  1533. }}
  1534.  
  1535. </blockquote>
  1536. {{!}}-{{!}}(Chose Lola)=<h5 style="display:none">(Chose Lola)</h5><blockquote>
  1537. (TBC)
  1538. <poem>
  1539. Lola's comments:
  1540. '''Milo:''' He's, uh, he's fading? A little?
  1541. '''Milo:''' C'mon, let's go, don't fall too far behind!
  1542. '''Milo:''' C'mon, Lola, you got this!
  1543. '''Milo:''' Let's go, Lola, he's just a giant angel of evil and shit-talking, you can outdrink this asshole!
  1544. '''Milo:''' Ignore how big he is and drink!
  1545. '''Milo:''' You're doing it-- don't-- don't look at his stack, don't get nervous!
  1546. '''Milo:''' Keep going! Don't give up!
  1547. '''Milo:''' Keep it up!
  1548. '''Milo:''' You're almost there!
  1549. '''Milo:''' Let's go, Lola!
  1550. </poem>
  1551.  
  1552. {{#tag:tabber|(Lola loses on the 1st round)=<h5 style="display:none">(Lola loses on the 1st round)</h5><blockquote>
  1553. (TBC)
  1554. </blockquote>
  1555. {{!}}-{{!}}(Lola loses on the 2nd round)=<h5 style="display:none">(Lola loses on the 2nd round)</h5><blockquote>
  1556. '''Satan:''' Oh c'mon! Two tries I gave you!
  1557.  
  1558. '''Lola:''' It's hard, okay! You're like ten times bigger than us.
  1559.  
  1560. {{#tag:tabber|We, uh, lost on purpose?=<h5 style="display:none">We, uh, lost on purpose?</h5><blockquote>
  1561. '''Milo:''' It's okay, we, uh, we lost... on purpose, yeah, we-- we decided you were too messed up to participate.
  1562.  
  1563. '''Satan:''' Oh give me a break! You could have just not played, but you tried and failed and now you want take-backsies!
  1564. </blockquote>
  1565. {{!}}-{{!}}So, uh, what now?=<h5 style="display:none">So, uh, what now?</h5><blockquote>
  1566. (TBC)
  1567. </blockquote>
  1568. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1569. (TBC)
  1570. </blockquote>
  1571. }}
  1572.  
  1573. '''Satan:''' Look, you little-- I"m not letting you go down like this, okay? This is your story, here-- you should get some validation!
  1574.  
  1575. '''Satan:''' Oh c'mon! I gave you so many tries!
  1576.  
  1577.  
  1578. '''Satan:''' I'm gonna-- I'm gonna do you a solid and let you try again. Okay? Another shot. I can-- I can do this all night.
  1579.  
  1580. {{#tag:tabber|Sure! (Try again)=<h5 style="display:none">Sure! (Try again)</h5><blockquote>
  1581. '''Milo:''' Yeah! Let's do it!
  1582.  
  1583. '''Satan:''' Yeah, I mean why reload the save, right?
  1584. </blockquote>
  1585. {{!}}-{{!}}We'll take the loss, thanks.=<h5 style="display:none">We'll take the loss, thanks.</h5><blockquote>
  1586. '''Milo:''' Eh, we'll-- we'll take the loss. I don't know... just wouldn't be fair.
  1587.  
  1588. '''Satan:''' Are you... are you kidding me?
  1589.  
  1590.  
  1591. </blockquote>
  1592. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1593. '''Lola:''' Um... we'll... try... again?
  1594.  
  1595. '''Satan:''' Yeah, I mean why reload the save, right?
  1596. </blockquote>
  1597. }}
  1598.  
  1599.  
  1600.  
  1601.  
  1602.  
  1603.  
  1604.  
  1605.  
  1606.  
  1607. </blockquote>
  1608. {{!}}-{{!}}(Lola wins)=<h5 style="display:none">(Lola wins)</h5><blockquote>
  1609. (TBC)
  1610. </blockquote>
  1611. }}
  1612. </blockquote>
  1613. }}
  1614. </blockquote>
  1615. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1616. (TBC)
  1617. </blockquote>
  1618. }}
  1619.  
  1620. {{#tag:tabber|(Milo or Lola won)=<h5 style="display:none">(Milo or Lola won)</h5><blockquote>
  1621. [''A spotlight bursting with confetti shines on Milo and Lola.'']
  1622.  
  1623. '''Satan:''' [belching] You did it! You-- you did it! I-- I gave you my best shot, but... You really-- you pulled through. I'm proud of you kids. You get to go home.
  1624. {{#tag:tabber|Oh my God!=<h5 style="display:none">Oh my God!</h5><blockquote>
  1625. '''Milo:''' Holy shit! We won! Oh my God, this is incredible!
  1626.  
  1627. '''Lola:''' We're-- wait-- we're actually-- you're gonna let us go home?
  1628.  
  1629. '''Satan:''' Of course! Of... of course.
  1630. </blockquote>
  1631. {{!}}-{{!}}I can't believe we won! =<h5 style="display:none">I can't believe we won!</h5><blockquote>
  1632. '''Milo:''' I can't-- I can't believe we won! This is insane! We outdrank and outpartied Satan!
  1633.  
  1634. '''Satan:''' You surely did. You... surely did.
  1635. </blockquote>
  1636. }}
  1637.  
  1638. </blockquote>
  1639. {{!}}-{{!}}(Milo or Lola purposefully lost)=<h5 style="display:none">(Milo or Lola purposefully lost)</h5><blockquote>
  1640. (TBC)
  1641. </blockquote>
  1642. {{!}}-{{!}}(Milo or Lola accidentally lost)=<h5 style="display:none">(Milo or Lola accidentally lost)</h5><blockquote>
  1643. (TBC)
  1644. </blockquote>
  1645. }}
  1646.  
  1647. [''Satan teleports himself, Milo, and Lola away. The focus switches to Apollyon, pacing on the phone in Satan's home.'']
  1648.  
  1649. '''Apollyon:''' No, he's-- he's like sixteen feet tall-- it's ''Satan'', you know?
  1650.  
  1651. [''Satan, Milo, and Lola teleport in.'']
  1652.  
  1653. '''Apollyon:''' Wait, nevermind, the-- You piece of shit! You know how scared we all were, you can't-- you can't just ''leave'' and not--
  1654.  
  1655. {{#tag:tabber|(Milo or Lola won)=<h5 style="display:none">(Milo or Lola won)</h5><blockquote>
  1656. '''Satan:''' Yeah yeah yeah okay okay okay whatever-- Milo and Lola won the contest!
  1657.  
  1658. '''Beelzebub:''' Milo and Lola?
  1659.  
  1660. '''Apollyon:''' Who gives a fuck?!
  1661.  
  1662. '''Satan:''' I would think ''they'' do!
  1663.  
  1664. '''Apollyon:''' I-- I-- I don't-- I don't even know what to fucking say anymore, Satan, I-- I really-- really don't. Congrats, kids, thanks for-- for enabling the leader of the damn world-- into being a complete raging alcoholic who's drunkenly shat himself more than he's had hot meals.
  1665.  
  1666. {{#tag:tabber|We need to get out, Polly.=<h5 style="display:none">We need to get out, Polly.</h5><blockquote>
  1667. '''Milo:''' Polly, we-- we needed to get out, okay? We don't-- we don't deserve to be here.
  1668.  
  1669. '''Apollyon:''' Maybe you deserve it more than you realize.
  1670. </blockquote>
  1671. {{!}}-{{!}}You're welcome!=<h5 style="display:none">You're welcome!</h5><blockquote>
  1672. '''Milo:''' You're very welcome!
  1673. </blockquote>
  1674. }}
  1675.  
  1676. '''Satan:''' ''And'' for winning--
  1677.  
  1678. '''Apollyon:''' Let's just go.
  1679.  
  1680. '''Satan:''' Wait wait. For ''winning'', everyone in their party gets to go to Earth as well!
  1681.  
  1682. '''Lola:''' Wait, seriously?
  1683.  
  1684. '''Satan:''' Yeah!
  1685.  
  1686. '''Apollyon:''' Screw this.
  1687.  
  1688. '''Satan:''' And screw ''you'', Polly, like Milo and Lola ever needed your friendship. Milo and Lola and I are the real winners, and every-- everybody wins everything all the--
  1689.  
  1690. [''Satan wavers for a moment before collapsing onto the floor. After a moment, Ordog starts to leave with her friend.'']
  1691.  
  1692. '''Ordog:''' Who wants waffles? Right? Right when I said it, I was like-- I'm actually hungrier than I thought!
  1693.  
  1694. [''Milo and Lola have escaped Hell.'']
  1695. </blockquote>
  1696. {{!}}-{{!}}(Milo or Lola purposefully lost)=<h5 style="display:none">(Milo or Lola purposefully lost)</h5><blockquote>
  1697. '''Satan:''' I know.
  1698.  
  1699. '''Apollyon:''' You-- wait. You know?
  1700.  
  1701. '''Satan:''' Milo and Lola forfeited.
  1702.  
  1703. '''Beelzebub:''' What! Why?
  1704.  
  1705. '''Satan:''' Ask them, they can speak for themselves.
  1706.  
  1707. '''Apollyon:''' Why.
  1708.  
  1709. '''Milo:''' Why did we do this?
  1710.  
  1711. {{#tag:tabber|Cause you all need help.=<h5 style="display:none">Cause you all need help.</h5><blockquote>
  1712. '''Lola:''' We quit cause you all need more help than-- than maybe you realize. And maybe we're not the ones to put things over the top, but... together? Maybe?
  1713. </blockquote>
  1714. {{!}}-{{!}}Cause Hell needs its Satan.=<h5 style="display:none">Cause Hell needs its Satan.</h5><blockquote>
  1715. '''Lola:''' Because Hell needs its Satan back. And he should see what ''sacrifice'' means. Yeah, we all wanna-- wanna drink our faces off and forget our problems and not be responsible... But... if we drank each other into oblivion, nothing would really work, would it? So... we're not gonna do the contest. We're staying in Hell. Where we belong.
  1716. </blockquote>
  1717. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1718. '''Milo:''' Um... I guess I'll just answer here--
  1719.  
  1720. '''Apollyon:''' It's obvious they did this so Satan would have to sober up and take a look at his life!
  1721.  
  1722. '''Milo:''' Oh thank God, thank you--
  1723. </blockquote>
  1724. }}
  1725.  
  1726. '''Beelzebub:''' Luke?
  1727.  
  1728. '''Satan:''' I... uh... I--
  1729.  
  1730. '''Apollyon:''' It's okay, Morningstar, it is, it's-- it's going to be. We converted Sam's old church into a-- a facility and they're ready to take you right now.
  1731.  
  1732. '''Ordog:''' Not that there was that much to ''convert''-- it was more like set-dressing Toronto to look like New York.
  1733.  
  1734. '''Satan:''' I'll go for the night.
  1735.  
  1736. '''Apollyon:''' Okay. For the night. We'll take it.
  1737.  
  1738. [''Milo and Lola have not escaped Hell.'']
  1739. </blockquote>
  1740. {{!}}-{{!}}(Milo or Lola accidentally lost)=<h5 style="display:none">(Milo or Lola accidentally lost)</h5><blockquote>
  1741. '''Satan:''' Whatever.
  1742.  
  1743. '''Apollyon:''' You-- wait. 'Whatever?' Whatever what?
  1744.  
  1745. '''Satan:''' Milo and Lola lost, they-- they lost the damn game, they quit.
  1746.  
  1747. '''Beelzebub:''' Okay? So?
  1748.  
  1749. '''Satan:''' It's-- they weren't supposed to do that! We were supposed to party all night until the breaka-- breaka dawn and instead--
  1750.  
  1751. '''Apollyon:''' Instead ''what''? Two more people are gonna be among the ''billions'' down here-- What does it matter!
  1752.  
  1753. '''Satan:''' I don't know, this-- this one just felt a little different.
  1754.  
  1755. {{#tag:tabber|It's hard, okay!=<h5 style="display:none">It's hard, okay!</h5><blockquote>
  1756. '''Milo:''' Yeah, well, it's hard, okay! It's like drinking against a fucking ship!
  1757. </blockquote>
  1758. {{!}}-{{!}}Uh, sorry?=<h5 style="display:none">Uh, sorry?</h5><blockquote>
  1759. (TBC)
  1760. </blockquote>
  1761. }}
  1762.  
  1763. '''Beelzebub:''' Luke, we have serious things to talk about--
  1764.  
  1765. '''Satan:''' I... uh... I... am really fucking tired. And I think I'm just going to go to bed.
  1766.  
  1767. '''Beelzebub:''' You can't just go to bed!
  1768.  
  1769. '''Satan:''' Party's over, assholes. Shut the door behind you.
  1770.  
  1771. [''Satan walks off dejectedly. After a moment, Ordog starts to leave with her friend.'']
  1772.  
  1773. '''Ordog:''' Who wants waffles? Right? Right when I said it, I was like-- I'm actually hungrier than I thought!
  1774.  
  1775. [''Milo and Lola have not escaped Hell.'']
  1776. </blockquote>
  1777. }}
  1778.  
  1779. {{#tag:tabber|(Escaped Hell)=<h5 style="display:none">(Escaped Hell)</h5><blockquote>
  1780. [''The screen fades to black, then the words "THREE MONTHS LATER" appears on the screen. Milo and Lola are shown having a phone call with each other, Milo as the owner of his mother's magic shop and Lola in a suit outside a modern-looking building surrounded by greenery.'']
  1781.  
  1782. '''Lola:''' Can you believe that episode last night?
  1783.  
  1784. '''Milo:''' No! Why would Donna pick Brad of all--he's not even taller than her!
  1785.  
  1786. '''Lola:''' I hate that you sucked me into it, it's so bad.
  1787.  
  1788. '''Milo:''' Whatever-- are you on your lunch break? I can never remember the time change.
  1789.  
  1790. '''Lola:''' You just add three.
  1791.  
  1792. '''Milo:''' Odd numbers are hard for me. I can't wait to see you! My flight's at six, then you can show me the sights. How are things going, though?
  1793.  
  1794. '''Lola:''' Um, great! Honestly. The job is... it's good-- I mean, everyone warned me about nonprofits-- The high turnover, the workload... the outreach isn't great, but it's--
  1795.  
  1796. '''Milo:''' It's a start.
  1797.  
  1798. '''Lola:''' Yeah, it's a-- it's a start.
  1799.  
  1800. '''Milo:''' ...well. That's-- that's cool.
  1801.  
  1802. {{#tag:tabber|I miss seeing you!=<h5 style="display:none">I miss seeing you!</h5><blockquote>
  1803. '''Lola:''' I miss seeing you, man, it was hard enough to move but it's doubly weird not seeing you everyday.
  1804.  
  1805. '''Milo:''' No, I know, it's crazy. Our back booth at Orion is really-- they should put up a little sign.
  1806.  
  1807. '''Lola:''' They should-- they should. Like "Frank Sinatra" sat here.
  1808.  
  1809. '''Milo:''' Yeah.
  1810. </blockquote>
  1811. {{!}}-{{!}}How are you?=<h5 style="display:none">How are you?</h5><blockquote>
  1812. '''Lola:''' How are, uh, how are you?
  1813.  
  1814. '''Milo:''' Good, it's... it's weird not seeing you every day, but...
  1815. </blockquote>
  1816. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1817. (TBC)
  1818. </blockquote>
  1819. }}
  1820.  
  1821. '''Milo:''' Uh, the magic shop's going well. I'm having fun at least. My talking on the phone phobia got knocked out within two weeks-- I just have to do it, so... Immersion therapy or whatever. But, uh... yeah. It's been interesting.
  1822.  
  1823. {{#tag:tabber|Do you really like it?=<h5 style="display:none">Do you really like it?</h5><blockquote>
  1824. '''Lola:''' Okay, c'mon, be honest. How much are you really liking it.
  1825.  
  1826. '''Milo:''' A lot, okay? It's been good. I don't regret staying in town.
  1827. </blockquote>
  1828. {{!}}-{{!}}That's awesome.=<h5 style="display:none">That's awesome.</h5><blockquote>
  1829. '''Lola:''' That's-- that's awesome, Milo, really.
  1830.  
  1831. '''Milo:''' Yeah, it, uh, it feels good.
  1832. </blockquote>
  1833. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1834. (TBC)
  1835. </blockquote>
  1836. }}
  1837.  
  1838. '''Milo:''' You know, I've been thinking about, uh, about our, uh, vacation, recently. About the people we met, and, uh... I don't know. Do you, uh, do you miss it at all?
  1839.  
  1840. {{#tag:tabber|I guess a little...=<h5 style="display:none">I guess a little...</h5><blockquote>
  1841. '''Lola:''' I mean... I guess a little...
  1842. </blockquote>
  1843. {{!}}-{{!}}Fuck no.=<h5 style="display:none">Fuck no.</h5><blockquote>
  1844. (TBC)
  1845. </blockquote>
  1846. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  1847. (TBC)
  1848. </blockquote>
  1849. }}
  1850.  
  1851. '''Milo:''' And I was just thinking that... I mean, I'm gonna obviously try to be a good person, but we might end up back there.
  1852.  
  1853. '''Lola:''' Why do you think so?
  1854.  
  1855. '''Milo:''' Cause it's-- it's tough to know... what's-- what's right... in this world. And, you know, maybe I don't agree with what's considered wrong. We made friends, right? Kind of good friends, and... and maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be stuck with-- with the people you like and who like you for eternity, I dunno.
  1856.  
  1857. '''Lola:''' Well keep the positive outlook, cause we're definitely going to Hell when we die.
  1858.  
  1859. '''Milo:''' Why?
  1860.  
  1861. '''Lola:''' I don't think the gatekeepers look too kindly on bringing demons and dead people to life.
  1862.  
  1863. {{#tag:tabber|(Picked Sam)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Sam)</h5><blockquote>
  1864. [''Sam opens the door in Milo's shop and says something to Milo.'']
  1865. </blockquote>
  1866. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Apollyon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Apollyon)</h5><blockquote>
  1867. (TBC)
  1868. </blockquote>
  1869. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Asmodeus)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Asmodeus)</h5><blockquote>
  1870. [''Asmodeus opens the door in Milo's shop.'']
  1871.  
  1872. '''Asmodeus:''' Hey, Milo, where the fuck do I get the rabbit to stay in the top hat?
  1873. </blockquote>
  1874. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Wormhorn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Wormhorn)</h5><blockquote>
  1875. [''Wormhorn pokes her head in from upside-down in Milo's magic shop.'']
  1876.  
  1877. '''Wormhorn:''' Is that Lola! Hi Lola! I'm learning what bathrooms are for! Gross!
  1878. </blockquote>
  1879. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Lynda Landon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Lynda Landon)</h5><blockquote>
  1880. [''Lynda opens the door to Milo's shop.'']
  1881.  
  1882. '''Lynda:''' Hey, Milo, where the fuck do I get the rabbit to stay in the top hat?
  1883. </blockquote>
  1884. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Fela)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Fela)</h5><blockquote>
  1885. [''Fela opens the door to Milo's shop.'']
  1886.  
  1887. '''Fela:''' I've made a discovery! I like Earth cheeseburgers better than Hell's!
  1888. </blockquote>
  1889. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)</h5><blockquote>
  1890. (TBC)
  1891. </blockquote>
  1892. }}
  1893.  
  1894. {{#tag:tabber|(Picked Sam)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Sam)</h5><blockquote>
  1895. [''Sam walks by Lola on her side of the phone call.'']
  1896.  
  1897. '''Sam:''' Is that Milo? Hey, Milo-- can you believe she picked Brad?
  1898. </blockquote>
  1899. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Apollyon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Apollyon)</h5><blockquote>
  1900. [''Apollyon walks by Lola on her side of the phone call.'']
  1901.  
  1902. '''Apollyon:''' Is that Milo? Hey, Milo-- can you believe she picked Brad?
  1903. </blockquote>
  1904. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Asmodeus)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Asmodeus)</h5><blockquote>
  1905. (TBC)
  1906. </blockquote>
  1907. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Wormhorn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Wormhorn)</h5><blockquote>
  1908. [''Wormhorn floats by Lola on her side of the phone call.'']
  1909. </blockquote>
  1910. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Lynda Landon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Lynda Landon)</h5><blockquote>
  1911. (TBC)
  1912. </blockquote>
  1913. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Fela)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Fela)</h5><blockquote>
  1914. (TBC)
  1915. </blockquote>
  1916. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)</h5><blockquote>
  1917. [''The drunk idiot demon stumbles in on Lola's side of the phone call.'']
  1918. </blockquote>
  1919. }}
  1920.  
  1921. '''Lola:''' So... see you Thursday?
  1922.  
  1923. '''Milo:''' Yeah, Thursday.
  1924. </blockquote>
  1925. {{!}}-{{!}}(Didn't escape Hell)=<h5 style="display:none">(Didn't escape Hell)</h5><blockquote>
  1926. [''The screen fades to black, then the words "THREE MONTHS LATER" appears on the screen. Either Milo or Lola (depending on who was favored more) is shown speaking with a demon, Phil, while standing by the bar at Feisty's.'']
  1927.  
  1928. '''Milo/Lola:''' No, and the-- the fuckin' guy, he just sits there... And he's talking to be like I don't know... you don't go down seventh past six without an umbrella... And Sam and I look at each other like... And I finally say, "No block party is worth getting donkey urine rained on you."
  1929.  
  1930. '''Phil the Demon:''' Fuckin' Amen.
  1931.  
  1932. '''Milo/Lola''' Right? Like, these flyers are pretty cool, but... sorry.
  1933.  
  1934. [''Lola/Milo walks up to them.'']
  1935.  
  1936. '''Lola/Milo:''' Hey guys. Hey Phil. You still owe me that money, I'm not even kidding you.
  1937.  
  1938. [''Phil stands up.'']
  1939.  
  1940. '''Lola/Milo:''' Okay, I'm-- I am kidding you a little.
  1941.  
  1942. [''Phil walks off, and Milo and Lola sit by the bar.'']
  1943.  
  1944. '''Lola/Milo:''' This is like the fourth time in a week we've met here--
  1945.  
  1946. '''Milo/Lola:''' I like the ambiance.
  1947.  
  1948. '''Milo:''' It's a chain. And that new Pad Thai opened just down the block--
  1949.  
  1950. '''Lola:''' No, I was already there with Nostradamus. It's worse than the old place.
  1951.  
  1952. '''Feisty Bartender:''' Hey, Milo. What can I get ya.
  1953. '''Feisty Bartender:''' Hey, Lola. What can I get ya?
  1954.  
  1955. '''Milo:''' Whatever Lola's having.
  1956. '''Lola:''' Whatever Milo's having.
  1957.  
  1958. '''Feisty Bartender:''' You sure? Don't want a menu, we added some stuff.
  1959.  
  1960. {{#tag:tabber|Are we still doing that?=<h5 style="display:none">Are we still doing that?</h5><blockquote>
  1961. '''Lola:''' Jesus, are we seriously still doing that?
  1962.  
  1963. '''Milo:''' Yes. Old habits die hard.
  1964. </blockquote>
  1965. {{!}}-{{!}}Get your own damn drink.=<h5 style="display:none">Get your own damn drink.</h5><blockquote>
  1966. '''Lola:''' Oh my God, Milo, get your own damn drink, seriously.
  1967.  
  1968. '''Milo:''' Alright, alright. A whiskey, sour, hold the witchcraft.
  1969. </blockquote>
  1970. }}
  1971.  
  1972. {{#tag:tabber|(Picked Sam and Wormhorn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Sam and Wormhorn)</h5><blockquote>
  1973. [''Ordog walks by.'']
  1974.  
  1975. '''Milo:''' Hey, Ordog, how's it going?
  1976.  
  1977. '''Ordog:''' Fine, fine. How's it going.
  1978.  
  1979. '''Lola:''' I'm good, thanks. Hi guys.
  1980.  
  1981. [''Ordog takes a seat beside them.'']
  1982. </blockquote>
  1983. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Apollyon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Apollyon)</h5><blockquote>
  1984. [''Ordog walks by.'']
  1985. (milo favored)
  1986.  
  1987. '''Lola:''' Hey, Polly. How's it going?
  1988.  
  1989. '''Apollyon:''' Well. Milo, how are you?
  1990.  
  1991. '''Milo''' I'm good... Hi guys.
  1992.  
  1993. [''Apollyon takes a seat beside them.'']
  1994.  
  1995. </blockquote>
  1996. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Asmodeus)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Asmodeus)</h5><blockquote>
  1997. (TBC)
  1998. </blockquote>
  1999. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Lynda Landon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Lynda Landon)</h5><blockquote>
  2000. (TBC)
  2001. </blockquote>
  2002. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Fela)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Fela)</h5><blockquote>
  2003. [''Fela walks up to them.'']
  2004.  
  2005. '''Fela:''' Hey, Lola, Milo, did you get the evite to my game night?
  2006.  
  2007. '''Milo:''' Uhhhh, yes?
  2008.  
  2009. '''Fela:''' Okay, cause some people have gotten-- have gotten it confused, it's not a couples thing, so don't-- you know-- And bring, um, bring chips. I'm always-- I'm always running out.
  2010.  
  2011. '''Milo:''' I-- we will, I'm pulling it up on my phone right now.
  2012.  
  2013. [''Fela takes a seat beside them.'']
  2014. </blockquote>
  2015. {{!}}-{{!}}(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Drunk Idiot Demon)</h5><blockquote>
  2016. [''The drunk idiot demon walks up to them.'']
  2017.  
  2018. '''Drunk Idiot Demon:''' Hey, Lola, Milo, did you get the evite to my new, uh, lecture series on-- Mechanics and Special Relativity on Ethereal Planes.
  2019.  
  2020. '''Milo:''' Uhhhh, yes?
  2021.  
  2022. '''Drunk Idiot Demon:''' Okay, well just make sure you show up early, the seats to these things kind of fill up fast. It's the West Hall, next to the Enclave of Giant Scorpions. Try to be there before six.
  2023.  
  2024. '''Milo:''' I-- we will, I'm pulling it up on my phone right now.
  2025.  
  2026. [''The demon takes a seat beside them.'']
  2027. </blockquote>
  2028. }}
  2029.  
  2030. '''Lola/Milo:''' I don't know if you heard, but Satan fell off the wagon.
  2031.  
  2032. {{#tag:tabber|It can be hard to stay on...=<h5 style="display:none">It can be hard to stay on...</h5><blockquote>
  2033. '''Milo/Lola:''' Well, you know... it can be hard... keeping it up. Just gotta have patience. Give him, uh, you know, whatever he needs.
  2034. </blockquote>
  2035. {{!}}-{{!}}That dumb jerk...=<h5 style="display:none">That dumb jerk...</h5><blockquote>
  2036. '''Milo/Lola:''' God, that dumb jerk. After everything we gave up.
  2037.  
  2038. '''Lola/Milo:''' Well... I mean... sometimes it takes a while to stick, you know?
  2039. </blockquote>
  2040. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  2041. (TBC)
  2042. </blockquote>
  2043. }}
  2044.  
  2045. '''Lola:''' Anyway, Beelzebub's gonna have a talk with him. I dunno, I'm optimistic. He has a support system, now... I mean, I know people can be flakes, but... I think he wants it to work, and... everybody wants it to work. People have been telling me things have been like, generally better, since he's been working again. More thematically relevant tortures, longer vacation time... Less bees in the cereal.
  2046.  
  2047. '''Milo:''' Anyway, Beelzebub's gonna have a talk with him. I dunno, I'm optimistic. He has a support system now. I mean, I know people can be flakes, but he, uh, I think he wants it to work, and... everybody wants it to work. People have been telling me things have been, uh, better generally since he started working again. More thematically relevant tortures, longer vacation time... Less bees in the cereal.
  2048.  
  2049. {{#tag:tabber|Well that's good.=<h5 style="display:none">Well that's good.</h5><blockquote>
  2050. '''Milo/Lola:''' Well... that's good. Makes me happy to hear.
  2051. </blockquote>
  2052. {{!}}-{{!}}Thanks to us!=<h5 style="display:none">Thanks to us!</h5><blockquote>
  2053. '''Milo/Lola:''' Well, yeah, thanks to us.
  2054. </blockquote>
  2055. }}
  2056.  
  2057. {{#tag:tabber|(Picked Sam and Wormhorn)=<h5 style="display:none">(Picked Sam and Wormhorn)</h5><blockquote>
  2058. '''Drunk Idiot Demon:''' Hey, Lola, Milo, did you get the evite to my new, uh, lecture series on-- Mechanics and Special Relativity on Ethereal Planes.
  2059.  
  2060. '''Milo:''' Uhhhh, yes?
  2061.  
  2062. '''Drunk Idiot Demon:''' Okay, well just make sure you show up early, the seats to these things kind of fill up fast. It's the West Hall, next to the Enclave of Giant Scorpions. Try to be there before six.
  2063.  
  2064. '''Milo:''' I-- we will, I'm pulling it up on my phone right now.
  2065. </blockquote>
  2066. {{!}}-{{!}}(Didn't)=<h5 style="display:none">(Didn't)</h5><blockquote>
  2067. [''Ordog walks by.'']
  2068.  
  2069. '''Milo:''' Hey, Ordog, how's it going?
  2070.  
  2071. '''Ordog:''' Fine, fine. How's it going.
  2072.  
  2073. '''Lola:''' I'm good, thanks. Hi guys.
  2074.  
  2075. [''Ordog takes a seat beside them.'']
  2076. </blockquote>
  2077. }}
  2078.  
  2079. [''A crowd of demons including Asmodeus and Apollyon starts to form around them.'']
  2080.  
  2081. '''Lola/Milo:''' Hey, Father Vandyke. Can we get some shots here?
  2082.  
  2083. '''Milo/Lola:''' Okay, Milo... what the fuck is going on.
  2084.  
  2085.  
  2086.  
  2087. '''Lola:''' Sang Milo Bong, you are really-- you're really too much, you know that?
  2088.  
  2089. '''Milo:''' [Laughs] Why--
  2090.  
  2091. '''Lola:''' Ono spilled it. She wanted me-- she wanted us to be the ones to tell you. You got the damn job.
  2092.  
  2093. '''Milo:''' What?!
  2094.  
  2095. '''Lola:''' You're gonna be the first ever human event planner for Skoll. Congratulations!
  2096.  
  2097.  
  2098.  
  2099.  
  2100. '''Milo:''' Lola Woolfe... you... are a monster. I just want you to know that.
  2101.  
  2102. '''Lola:''' Why.
  2103.  
  2104. '''Milo:''' Beelzebub spilled it. He wanted me-- he wanted us to be the ones to tell you. You got the damn job.
  2105.  
  2106. '''Lola:''' What?!
  2107.  
  2108. '''Milo:''' You're gonna be one of the first human defenders of lost souls. Congratulations!
  2109.  
  2110.  
  2111.  
  2112.  
  2113.  
  2114.  
  2115. '''Crowd:''' Hurray!
  2116.  
  2117. {{#tag:tabber|Oh my God!=<h5 style="display:none">Oh my God!</h5><blockquote>
  2118. '''Milo/Lola:''' Holy shit! Oh my God, I-- I-- I can't believe it.
  2119.  
  2120. '''Lola/Milo:''' I know, right!
  2121. </blockquote>
  2122. {{!}}-{{!}}That's amazing!=<h5 style="display:none">That's amazing!</h5><blockquote>
  2123. (TBC)
  2124. </blockquote>
  2125. {{!}}-{{!}}(Say nothing.)=<h5 style="display:none">(Say nothing.)</h5><blockquote>
  2126. (TBC)
  2127. </blockquote>
  2128. }}
  2129.  
  2130. '''Milo:''' It's crazy, I mean... we lived for... a relatively short amount of time, but-- I really feel like we're hitting our stride, here. Like... if friends are your home... Then, you know... this is still probably definitely not home... but at least a close proximity to a tree house near your home.
  2131. '''Milo:''' It's crazy, I mean... we lived for... a relatively short amount of time, but-- I really feel like we're hitting our stride, here. Like... if friends are your home... Then, you know... this... is definitely probably not our home but, at least the weird garage we hang out in down the street.
  2132.  
  2133. '''Friendly Demon:''' Ain't that the truth, brother!
  2134.  
  2135. '''Milo:''' To Lola!
  2136.  
  2137. '''Friendly Demon:''' No, to Lola and Milo! Hip Hip--
  2138.  
  2139.  
  2140. '''Lola:''' To Milo!
  2141.  
  2142. '''Friendly Demon:''' No, to Milo and Lola! Hip Hip--
  2143.  
  2144. [''Suddenly, Sam's taxi crashes in flying from the left.'']
  2145.  
  2146. '''Sam:''' Lola! Milo!
  2147. '''Sam:''' Milo! Lola!
  2148.  
  2149. '''Sam:''' I found another loophole, not-- not at all like that last, this one is totally-- it's totally different-- It's completely unique and fun in its own new way with divergent, div-- diverse things to do, now, and-- and-- and, well, it's like-- it's a little more expensive looking with, like one-- you can run, now-- and maybe jump, we'll-- we're not sure, yet, and you can probably do, like, you can probably walk around with like a thermos now, or something-- Anyways, you only have tonight to do it, so... you interested?
  2150.  
  2151. '''Lola/Milo:''' Yeah, of course, this place fucking sucks.
  2152. </blockquote>
  2153. }}
  2154.  
  2155. [''The screen cuts to black, and the credits roll.'']
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement
Public Pastes
Advertisement
We use cookies for various purposes including analytics. By continuing to use Pastebin, you agree to our use of cookies as described in the Cookies Policy.  OK, I Understand
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!