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Dec 14th, 2018
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  1. So we broke up about 3 weeks ago, but she wanted to remain friends. Our relationship was actually really nice. We were so sweet to each other, and the reason she broke up with me is because she hasn't been single her entire adult life and wants to explore other options. This is secret code for "I lost attraction to you" but the thing about her never being single is absolutely true and was a real part of her decision. She told me I did nothing wrong and I believe her. I was really wonderful to her, and that's probably a part of her losing attraction and respect for me.
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  3. She said she wanted to stay friends and I thought it was an open door to try and make amends, but a week ago I put that to rest. I called her one last time. She asked if we could still be friends, and I said:
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  5. ME: "Can I still hold you?"
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  7. HER: "Well we can hug sometimes, that's what friends--"
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  9. ME: "Can I still kiss you?"
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  11. HER: "That's not something friends do."
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  13. ME: "Then No, we can't be friends."
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  15. She asked me if was I suggesting being friend's with benefits, and I said I was open to it. She was offended and wondered aloud why I would be her friend if we slept together but not just friends. I knew what she was thinking, and I apologized. I told her "I'm sorry. That's something I said in a moment of weakness. No we can't be friends."
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  17. I let her know that I wanted to start over and try again, but she didn't want to. We're both hurt because there was good in our relationship and we were really supportive of each other. She didn't want to lose that, but frankly you can't just break someone's heart and expect to keep just the things you like. I went No Contact.
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  19. I need to return a few things of hers and I'm going to leave them on her doorstep when it's not raining. I want to write a note to her explaining that her friendship really meant so much to me and it wasn't because she wouldn't sleep with me that I don't want to be friends. I don't want to be friends because of the pain she caused me. I just don't want her to think all I wanted was sex. Truthfully, I miss her friendship too, but I can't forgive her right now.
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  21. I would also be breaking no contact to write this note. Do you think I should do it? Do you think it would be appreciated?
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  23. ​
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  25. **TL;DR: I made my ex wonder if I only wanted sex in our final conversation but her friendship was actually really important to me. Should I break No Contact to let her know it wasn't all a lie?**
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