Endorph (Granstorm): anyway im going to sleep if that's coo
Endorph (Granstorm): sorrym y sleep schedule's been wonky
Cthulhu: oh, alright
Endorph (Granstorm): ntohing's going to... happen, right
Endorph (Granstorm): you weren't planning on anything?
Cthulhu: I was, but it's not essential
Cthulhu: go to bed if you need to
Endorph (Granstorm): kk, sorry
'Endorph' disconnected
Lion >:3 (Sandro): welp
As you recover from the raid, you each notice something odd.
Vesper: Zzzerinar may be grateful for the fertilizzzer.
Felsper goes to take the bodies from the front comb and notices a trio of skeletons rapidly building some sort of haphazard merchant's stall there, constructed of wooden planks and nails, almost like a kid's first lemonade stand.
Campaign saved.
As Serinar and Mirva survey the damage, they notice that the sticky spore cluster and other plants near the dungeon entrance are now home to huge clusters of bees.
Gabe (Serinar): the S on the sign better be backwards
Sandro and his citizenry watch as huge, gray-green weeds walk leisurely into his dungeon on their roots and plant themselves in the dead earth of his dungeon, growing like...well, weeds.
Sandro: ...
The skeletons finish their stall and sit behind it. One puts a top hat on his head, one wears a monocle and one wears a fake moustache glued almost sideways on.
Sandro: I suppose we now have fauna.
Vesper: Bzzz?!
Sandro adds a tourism budget.
The sign above the stall reads: "BEEHIVEZ 4 CHEAP! GET A HAPY HOME TODAY!"
...Most of the Es are backwards.
Stovepipe: Ah! Can I help you, sir?
Sandro single tear. I mean, granted. He doesn't actually have tiers but a mist of necromantic energy manifests itself as a tear and gently cascades down the chin like a tear. Its symbolic, really.
Vesper: What izzz thizzz?
Moustache reaches under the stall and brings out several different shoddily-constructed tiny beehives, the sort you'd see in bee farms.
Stovepipe: We sell happy homes here, sir. Please, allow my associates to demonstrate.
Campaign saved.
Moustache: Pip pip! Here you have the luxury model, with luxurious three-room interior! Here's the palatial model, with a real working fireplace! And here's the celebrity model, with interior window shades for maximum privacy.
Serinar blink
He points to three different hives on the table. So far as you can tell, there is no difference between them.
Vesper scratches his head
Monocle: Indeed, good sir! We also sell these custom-built accessories for your dedicated homebody!
He places some tiny furniture on the table, along with a few toy dolls. You're pretty sure they just swiped these from a children's dollhouse somewhere.
Mirva: What the fuck is this shit? How are we supposed to get out the oh god fuck they sting oh FUCK LET ME OUT YOU PIECES OF SHIT
Mirva approaches the door and the plants surrounding it and is swarmed.
Thant: ...This is ghostweed, sir. Famed for its presence in graveyards and areas of great bloodshed.
Thant: What should we...are you crying, sir?
Sandro: I'm happy. It's coming together.
Thant: What is?
Serinar: ...
Of course, the beestings mean little to Serinar, with his thick hide.
Sandro: Don't you see? It's happening. We are slowly transforming into a proper citystate.
Campaign saved.
Mirva: Go talk to your fucking neighbor and get this fucking vermin out of here! We have enough pests here already!
Serinar: Yes yes..I know honey but...These could provide thier uses...
Mirva: At least make him let me LEAVE THE HOUSE!
Dr. Luau (Vesper): implying she leaves the house
Serinar: I'll talk to him right away, Dear.
Serinar sighs and starts heading towards Vespar's place
Mirva...really hardly ever leaves the dungeon. Not that you'd dare contradict her on this point.
The bees swarm over Serinar as he passes by their plants, but he doesn't really feel it and they stop once he's a certain distance away.
Adrian: How do a few weeds constitute a transformation to a city-state?
Sandro: What? Weeds? I don't care about weeds.
Sandro: Look at the soon to be marketplace.
Stovepipe: Would you like to make a purchase today, sir? Multiple simultaneous purchases get a discount! Or you could try our popular 'Honey'-moon Package, or, or...
Moustache: Pip-pip!
Monocle adjusts his monocle obsessively.
Adrian looks out. What does she see?
Serinar: Vessspaaarrrr
Serinar calls out, a little annoyed since he has to deal with an even more cranky Mirva now
Vesper: Zzzerinar, what is going on?
Lion >:3 (Sandro): wait am i confused
Serinar opens the door to Vesper's dungeon and sees the skeletal merchant stall within.
Lion >:3 (Sandro): were the skeletons not some of -
Lion >:3 (Sandro): ohhh
Lion >:3 (Sandro): i saw skeletons and assumed
Lion >:3 (Sandro): my peeps
Cthulhu: They're in HIS dungeon
Vesper: There are zzzzkeletonz outzzzide my hive
Lion >:3 (Sandro): oH NO
Cthulhu: they ARE your peeps
Serinar: ..And bees in mine
Serinar: Who stung my wife
Lion >:3 (Sandro): whoops
Lion >:3 (Sandro): i boshed it
Serinar: I trust it wasnt you?
Vesper: Who?
Vesper: Your...wife?
Vesper scratches his head
Campaign saved.
Serinar sighs "Anyways I dont mind if they settle near my place since they could bring some interesting pollon combinations but could you just tell them not to sting me or the residents of my lair?"
Vesper: You mean it's not juzzzt you in there?
Vesper mystified as fuck
Serinar: Uh
Serinar: ..No?
Vesper: I...haven't zzzeen anyone elzzze enter.
Adrian: We're a long way from a proper city-state, Sandro. We need a proper constitution, ratified by a personal cabinet, along with recognition of legitimate existence by, uh, one or some or all three of the major nations, I don't really know how this goes entirely.
Sandro handwaes.
Sandro: I've got most of the paperwork.
Adrian: Key word, though, legitimate. They'll be sending inspectors and you'll have quite a puppet show to put on.
Serinar: She...Doesnt like leaving
Vesper: But rezzzt azzzzured I will tell my constituentzzz.
Vesper: Oh, you mean HER? I thought you ate her.
Serinar: I do think this could be the start of an interesting symbotic relationship
As Adrian speaks, the weeds spread along the inner sanctum ceiling overhead.
Serinar: ....Trust me I wish I could
Vesper: That's what dragonzzz do, izzzn't it?
Serinar says under his breath
Stovepipe: Sir! Mr. Serinar! Did you say you have bees in your lair? Would you care to purchase one of our happy homes to accomodate them?
Serinar: ....
Serinar: ..W-What?
Serinar blinks
Stovepipe: Rest assured that R&D has determined that these are our most comfortable beehives to date!
Stovepipe: Studies show that bees with their own personal, customized beehive live longer, are more vital, do not suffer from male-pattern baldness and are never late for work!
Serinar this is going all over his teeny head
Campaign saved.
Stovepipe: Sir, it's quite simple: beehives are the future of bee business. If you house bees, you'll want these!
Moustache whispers: "Rhyme detected."
Monocle whispers: "Incorporating into corporate slogan."
Stovepipe whispers: "Understood."
Vesper flits away to Sandro's lair. Knock knock!
Serinar: So uh
Serinar: How much would this cost...
Sandro hears knocking and heavy buzzing at his door.
Sandro waves hand. Go, servant vampires.
Vesper: There are zzzzkeletonzz in my lair. Why are they there?
The low, low price of one wealth per bee.
Stovepipe: *
Stovepipe: It's a bargain!
Serinar estimates that about 10,000 bees have taken to his lair.
Adrian leads Vesper to Sandro's desk, for she is a courteous host even if her employer is not.
Serinar: ...And what exactly will this do for me
Adrian: Your fellow apprentice supervillain wishes to speak with you, sir.
Sandro: Hm?
Stovepipe: Your bees will reach new heights of vitality and longitivity! You'll see their results skyrocket overnight!
Vesper: Zzzandro, why have your henchmen taken rezzzzidence in my hive?
Thant starts. "Residence?"
Sandro: They have?
Campaign saved.
Serinar: Hrmm....
Vesper: They are zzzelling beehivezzzz
...It doesn't seem like the businesskeletons are capable of telling you anything about their "hapy homes" beyond generic assurances of quality. Perhaps they don't even know themselves.
You'll probably have to take a gamble on this one.
Sandro: Well. That's good, I suppose.
Stovepipe: Rest assured that, whatever your number, we'll have them all housed in a week's time!
Thant: Should we--
Thant jerks as he realizes the profit potential.
Serinar: Hrmmmmmm
Thant: Should we have Vesper purchase a license for permission to allow our business in his place of residence? They definitely seem to be providing a product he can use.
Sandro: It would sound like a good idea. After all, he is using our hard effort.
Stovepipe: Let me remind you that purchasing into our budding business can have benefits down the road later. We plan to house every bee in this whole hive. Comfort for all souls!
Monocle: No matter how big or small!
Moustache: Pip pip!
Gabe (Serinar): This is a horrible idea but serinar isnt too smart
Serinar: Hrm
Serinar: Well
Serinar: Sure why not.
Thant: How much shall we price such a valuable license?
Vesper buzzes angrily
Campaign saved.
Vesper: They are taking valuable zzzzpace that I own
Vesper: Why zzzhould I pay you for them to be there?
Monocle: Half payment now and half when your order is finished, please.
Sandro: Because you can't just subjugate them.
Sandro: That would be a interdungeon relations catastrophe.
Sandro: After all, they are my citizens.
Moustache reaches under the stall and takes out a massive, empty barrel, and sets it beside the stall.
Vesper: I would not zzzubjugate them but I would prohibit their bizzznezzz activities on my property.
Gabe (Serinar): so itd be 5k wealth right
Cthulhu: right now, yes
Sandro: Please do not offend liberty.
Vesper: Let us zzzimply say that it cozzztzz neither of uzzz anything.
Sandro: Ah, it costs me unhappy citizens.
Cthulhu: you deducted it, I assume?
Sandro: I simply will not allow that.
Serinar takes the money out of hammerspace and gives it
Gabe (Serinar): NOW i will
Vesper: and it cozzzts me zzzpace
Vesper: which izz at a premium in a hive.
The wealth fills the barrel, and Moustache claps a wood lid on top of it.
Monocle: Go inform our employer, Stovepipe. We'll handle the customers.
Stovepipe: Of course, Monocle. Thank you for your business, good sir! Thank you kindly! Your custom order in a week or a no-money-back-guarantee!
Sandro: Then I suppose we'll just have to leave things the way they are. We're clearly at odds here and with no compromise. Unfortunate, but we'll have to let stasis take over lest we damage our friendship.
Stovepipe grabs the barrel and hauls it off to Sandro's dungeon.
Vesper: That izzz fine.
Stovepipe approaches Sandro's desk and sets it down with a grunt.
Wealth clatters inside. A lot of it, from what you can tell.
Stovepipe: Sir! Our first profits!
Sandro: Excellent!
Stovepipe: Ten thousand beehives! Our business blooms!
Campaign saved.
Sandro: On top of it, sir Vesper here and I both agreed to do nothing about your buisiness.
Sandro: So I suppose you're free to stay.
Stovepipe: Hoorah! Happy Homes Beehives will house every bee in your hive someday, Mr. Vesper. We give it our personal guarantee.
Vesper buzzes in a very confused sort of tone
Vesper: Okay.
Sandro receives an indirect 500 Wealth from the prosperity of his first inter-dungeon business, and will receive 500 next week when and if Serinar pays his second half of the bill.
Stovepipe rushes off back to Vesper's hive.
The ghostweed is starting to run its way up Sandro's desk now. It's very lively.
Sandro smiles.
It's covered just about every wall, floor and ceiling in the dungeon.
Gabe (Serinar): ghostweed owns
Sandro: I'm sure we can harvest this into something.
Unless something is done about it, every tile in Sandro's dungeon will become difficult terrain by the next dungeon raid.
Dr. Luau (Vesper): It's weed for ghosts Sandro has scored big time
Sandro shrugs.
Adrian: ...If you say so, sir.
Dr. Luau (Vesper): SELL MELEE MINIONS REPLACE WITH ARTY
Dr. Luau (Vesper): ???
Lion >:3 (Sandro): already did
Dr. Luau (Vesper): NO DEATHS EVER
Lion >:3 (Sandro): like last time
Thant: Do you want me to give Mr. Serinar our personal thanks?
Thant: Or is that not yet warranted?
Campaign saved.
Sandro: No, not yet.
Thant: Very well.
Moustache: Please, take these five hives as our Quality Assurance Sample (TM).
Sandro: In the meantime, go indoctrinate the newest of your clan.
He actually pronounces the (TM)out loud.
'Lion >:3' disconnected
Gabe (Serinar): rip
Monocle shoves five beehives into Serinar's puny arms.
Serinar: Sweet.
Thant: Are you done here, Mr. Vesper?
'Lion >:3' connected
Vesper: Yezzz.
Adrian leaves the office and sets about getting her kin used to unlife.
Vesper buzzes
Serinar heads off to plant these five samples and see what happens
Thant: Thank you for your, um, business.
Vesper heads off to keep an eye on the Businessskeletons
As Serinar leaves Vesper's dungeon and Vesper leaves Sandro's, the two of them meet in the entry corridor. Vesper sees Serinar carrying the beehives and connects the dots: he must have been the one to fill the outrageous quintuple-digit Wealth first order.
Campaign saved.
Vesper just...
Vesper just keeps on keepin on
Serinar: Yo
Vesper: Bzzz.
Serinar: Uhh
Serinar: Alrighty then
Vesper is even less coherent than usual. He seems supremely befuddled.
Serinar enters his dungeon, and the bees don't swarm him this time, nor Mirva.
Mirva: ...Do we really have to keep them here? All that buzzing is noise pollution, you know.
Mirva: ...Don't tell me you don't know about the noise pollution menace?
Dr. Luau (Vesper): Tell half the bees to buzz in one direction and the other bees to buzz towards those soundwaves, creating noise cancellation
As Mirva speaks, the buzzing mysteriously stops as the bees sync up their soundwaves.
Mirva: It's just...well...uh...huh. Okay then.
Mirva sits on the couch, her eyes darting to the darting bees every few seconds warily.
Serinar: No no it's fine honey. I bought them some special grade A beehives
Serinar: They'll end up doing thier thang and we'll have some extra money on the side
Serinar: And I know how much you love honey.
Serinar: ...Honey
Mirva 's jaw twitches. Just the tiniest bit, but you see it.
Mirva: ...Wait, grade A beehives? What? Who sells this shit?
Mirva: And how's it going to make us extra money?
Serinar: Uh, bees make honey...? We can sell the honey?
Campaign saved.
Serinar: Plus they'll speed up cross polination of our plants
Mirva: Sell it? You can't! Not that glorious golden nectar! Are you mad?
Serinar: Uh...Ok we won't sell it then...
Mirva: Although I guess the plants are a good point...
Serinar says sheepishly
Mirva: Well...we'll see. I guess.
Having dealt with the first instance of their respective dungeon ecosystems interacting, our supervillains face towards the future of their lairs on a wider scale for the first time...
...not knowing that one man who may yet ruin at least one of them lurks just beyond the horizon. A towering pillar of a man. A champion of a man.
You might even call him a Hero.
Cthulhu: Level up!