Mayor McCheese

Mayor McCheese

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**Item #:** SCP-F

**Object Class:** Keter

**Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-F is to be contained at provisional Site-178, Novo Airão, Brazil[[footnote]] coordinates -2.1308563 and -62.1771240.[[/footnote]].

A ring of McDonald's Chicken McNuggets at least 10 nuggets in diameter is to be placed around the length of SCP-F. This ring is to be refreshed daily. Should a breach in the ring occur, MTF-Theta-10 ("Welcome to Flavor Town") is to be organized and sent to the break in order to eliminate any SCP-F-A or -B instances and repair the breach.

A perimeter measuring 20 meters from the boundaries of SCP-F is to be held at all times. Anyone entering or exiting the perimeter without permission are to be terminated on-sight. All personnel are to be screened weekly for signs of SCP-F affects.

The primary directive of all further ventures into SCP-F is the elimination of the object at the center, the exact identity of which is currently unknown. The destruction of this object will most likely result in the neutralization of SCP-F.

**Description:** SCP-F is a roughly circular area with a radius of 300 meters, affecting a former xavante tribal village in Novo Airão, Brazil. While previously unmodernized, the area has been transformed into a functioning urban environment. The only buildings are McDonalds fast food restaurants, small bungalow style houses, and a single two-story building in the center. A moat surrounding this building is present, made of what exploration teams sent in reported to be some variation of McDonald's 'Secret Sauce.

Anyone crossing the barrier into SCP-F will undergo several extreme physiological conversions, which includes, in no particular order:
* Conversion of all body fluids into cheese
* Conversion of all bones into an incredibly dense bread
* Replacement of all hair with a stringy substance made of McDonald's burger meat
Once these changes are completed, the person (SCP-F-A) will also exhibit a love for McDonald's Hamburgers and worship 'Mayor McCheese' as a deity or godhead figure. It is unknown how SCP-F-A is able to survive under these conditions. See the Interview Log below for more details.

These mutations can be successfully prevented if subjects are removed from SCP-F before it progresses past a certain point (the exact point of which is unknown at current time). Gas filtration has proven to be effective at reducing these changes and allow any MTF units sent inside to exit as well.

Every morning, all SCP-F-A instances will gather at the center of the town and begin consuming from the liquid in the moat as a form of a daily ritual. During this time, what are thought to be the disciplinary members of SCP-F (SCP-F-B) will exit the moat. Each SCP-F-B instance is roughly humanoid and bears a heavy resemblance to depictions of McDonald's character 'Officer Big Mac,' possessing an enlarged hamburger as a head. Once all of the SCP-F-B instances have exited from the moat, they will lift the top part of their head, revealing what appears to be a McDonald's Big Mac. 50% of the SCP-F-A instances will consume the burger while the other 50% will place the burger into the hands of the SCP-F-B instance they received it from. These instances will then walk inside the building.

Occasionally, when reaching into SCP-F-B, SCP-F-B will close its mouth, trapping the SCP-F-A instance, and begin devouring it. Any pieces of the SCP-F-A instances will be eaten by the surrounding SCP-F-A instances.

Once this ritual is complete, all other SCP-F-B and SCP-F-A instances will walk inside the moat. At some point following this, all SCP-F-A instances will be returned to their houses. Following this ritual, SCP-F will begin to spread unless prevented. The rate of spreading increases as SCP-F gains in size.

Following the events detailed below in Addendum-F-1, McDonald's Brand Chicken McNuggets have proved effective in preventing the spread of SCP-F. Containment procedures have been updated.

**Addendum-F-1:**
[[collapsible show="Show Interview Log"hide="Hide Interview Log"]]
> **Interviewed:** SCP-F-A Instance
>
> **Interviewer:** D-9856
>
> **Foreword:** On 12/04/2016, D-9856 was sent into SCP-F in order to interview one of the SCP-F-A instances.
>
> **<Begin Log>**
>
> **D-9856:** Uh, hello?
>
> **SCP-F-A:** Oh, hello! //[Quietly]// Alright, get it together Sean, there's a newcomer right in front of you. Opportunities like this don't come every day.
>
> **D-9856:** Uh, what?
>
> **SCP-F-A:** //[Normally]// Hello sir! I don't think I've seen your face around these parts. What brings you to our quaint little town?
>
> **D-9856:** Oh, perfect! I need to ask you some questions.
>
> **SCP-F-A:** Well, lucky for you mister, I happen to be a Rank 8 Cheeser, so I am perfectly qualified to answer! And I hope to give you some good answers! But before we start that, we need to exchange names first. I'll start: I am Sir Cheesemont Von Saucington, bearer of the great spatula, but my friends just call me Sean.
>
> **D-9856:** Heh, well ok then. I am, uh, sir...[Pauses] Mr. McWellington? Yeah, McWellington is my name.
>
> **SCP-F-A:** What a splendid name! So then, now that we have introductions out of the way, what's your first question?
>
> **D-9856:** [Reading through list] Uh...here we go. How did you guys even get here? Like seriously, we're in the middle of the Amazon Jungle.
>
> **SCP-F-A:** Well, we weren't always this big. The memories are kind of hazy, but I think I can answer the question. So, before all this, the buildings and the restaurants, this looked a lot like the rest of the surrounding land. Green, damp, and ugly, not single, delicious Big Mac, a healthy part of daily nutrition, in sight. //The SCP-F-A instance takes out a big mac from its skin and hands it to D-9856 and continues talking// Just thinking about it makes the cheese in my marrow quiver. A far cry from the utopia we have now! Untouched by the Ground Beef of our saivor. Awful I tell you, just awful.
>
> **D-9856:** So you weren't always like this?
>
> **SCP-F-A:** Nope! Before our awakening, we were pitiful things living in some tiny, shoddy little homes. Could barely even call them homes. But then a blessing swept through us. A song which carried His voice.
>
> **D-9859:** Him? Who are you talking about?
>
> **SCP-F-A:** Why, the great one of course! The Culler of the King's Great Armada, Only Challenger to the Chef's Great Throne, Heir of Ronald, and Chainer of Grimace! You can't feel him here with us?
>
> **D-9859:** Uh, no, I don't. Am I supposed to?
>
> **SCP-F-A:** Really? Huh. I reckon you will soon, trust me. Regardless, He told us, back then, to prepare for the coming of a great bird and we did as He said. We made a clearing, the size of the building of the center; and as He predicted, three days later came the great fiery bird from the sky. And with it, came peace.
>
> **D-9859:** You mean all this?
>
> **SCP-F-A:** Yep. Food, water, and shelter, as much as we want and more than we would ever need. And most importantly, his body. The very piece which gives him power. The holy object lies in there. //[Points at building at center]// Its very presence is what makes all this happen, what made us whole so long ago.
>
> **D-9859:** Wait, so this object, it brought your 'god' or whatever down to you? Then what's the object?
>
> **SCP-F-A:** Him. He is the object. The object is Him. It's like the window he looks out of. Even separated from this world, His shadow makes quite the impression. It's a bit more complicated than that, but not even I'm sure how exactly it works.
>
> **D-9859:** Alrighty then, that's two questions with one stone. Now, next quest-
>
> **SCP-F-A:** So sorry to interrupt, but I have to go. Best for me to get back to my home. You as well. Best not for you to be caught out here, especially not after not night fall. How about you meet me here tomorrow, ok?
>
> **D-9859:** Oh, yeah sure. Good luck with whatever it is you have and uh yeah. Be seeing you I guess.
>
> **<End Log>**
>
> **Closing Statement:** Following the return of D-9859, he subsequently suffered from the adverse effects of the SCP-F infection. D-9859 was terminated and the remains disposed of. Since then, that particular SCP-F-A instance has waited at one of the entrances to SCP-F. When asked what it was waiting for, SCP-F-A responded "A friend," presumably referring to D-9859.
[[/collapsible]]

**Addendum-F-2:**
[[collapsible show="Show Incident Log"hide="Hide Incident Log"]]
> **Incident Report:** F-1
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> **Date :** 15/04/2015
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> **Location:** Remote Site Outpost 132
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> **Summary of Events**
>
> **12:00 PM:** All SCP-F-A and -B instances exit their homes and gather around the building in the center and wait.
>
> **1:00 PM:** A tall, cylindrical structure protrudes from the top of the building. Atop the small platform, a large figure can be seen standing atop of it. This figure, referred to as SCP-F-1, appears in the likeness of the McDonald's Land character Mayor McCheese, with a burger for a head, wearing a purple suit, with a small banner saying 'mayor' across its chest. The crowd below starts cheering.
>
> **1:04 PM:** SCP-F-1 raises its right hand and the crowd silences. SCP-F-1 then proceeds to give a speech [Detailed below].
>
> **1:11 PM:** SCP-F-1 finishes the speech and walks back inside the structure, which then recedes back into the building. The crowd is screaming.
>
> **1:17 PM:** The crowd returns to their homes and waits. Foundation Outpost is put on high alert. All non-essential staff are evacuated and security patrols are equipped with defensive weaponry. A standby MTF is prepared to be sent in should the defensive perimeter be insufficient in containing SCP-F.
>
> **1:30 PM:** SCP-F's expansion begins to accelerate. Defensive teams begin utilizing weaponry in order to halt the spread of SCP-F. Operations are 96% effective.
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> **2:46 PM:** SCP-F-A and -B instances begin taking actions against teams. Operations are 67% effective and expected to fail within the hour. It is deemed necessary to send the standby MTF unit into SCP-F.
>
> **2:58 PM:** The MTF unit is sent into SCP-F.
>
> **3:12 PM:** The MTF unit enters the center building.
>
> **3:49 PM:** The spread of SCP-F slows down considerably and SCP-A and -B instances retreat, heading for the stru. Operations back at 96% effectiveness.
>
> **4:21 PM:** Contact with the MTF unit is lost. Spread of SCP-F begins to once more. Operations at 93% effectiveness
>
> **4:57 PM:** Contact momentarily established with MTF unit. Only message is to use McDonald's Chicken McNuggets as a border around SCP-F. Contact is lost again following this message. Operations at 82% effectiveness.
>
> **5:12 PM:** Chicken McNuggets are acquired and placed all around SCP-F. Method is 100% effective. Spread of SCP-F is stopped completely and containment is reestablished.
>
> **Additional Notes:**  SCP-F-A and -B instances continue to attempt to breach the perimeter. Containment procedures have been updated.
>
>
[[/collapsible]]
[[collapsible show="Show Speech"hide="Hide Speech"]]
> I call to you, my brothers and sisters, to listen, for I bear news, both great and sad. That obstacle which has plagued us for so long, that damnable parasite clutching at our great kingdom, is gone. They are no more. I stand before you with their bodies. The McNugget Buddies.
>
> Once we called them our friend. They had a place in each of our homes. They were welcome to our palaces and gardens, as they had been one of great groups which helped found our empire. By their hand, scores of the King's Great Legions fell within the Great War. But eventually, as was found, they were not an ally; no, they were an enemy. An obstacle to the kingdom we seek. An obstacle to the peace we preach. I do not bear this news with glee; I once called them friends. I shared secrets with them and they with me.
>
> Could this have been avoided? Maybe. If I could go back and change what I did, then I would in a heartbeat, trust me. I did not do this with glee. But I can't change the past. I am not god, not here at least. But do I have any regrets? No. Not a single one. Opportunity belongs to those who seize it. And I will not relinquish my hold. And with my head held high, I bear their bodies for you, as a trophy of my...no, our success and a warning to all those who stand against us.
>
> Our kingdom will be great. Our kingdom will be eternal. And it will be unstoppable.




IMPORTANT IDEA STUFF (Not super important but w/e)

Alright, so this whole thing is a super big franchising thing.
Chef Boyardee is the owner of all this. He is one of the biggest powers in the multiverse.
Mayor McCheese is someone going around, buying the rights to properties in order to set up McDonald's restaurants. It doesn't make much sense, but trust me, its extremely profitable.
All Food mascots are Gods, fighting and franchising and worming their way through to worlds in order to get their.

Mayor McCheese's Earth body is very thing and incredibly tall. 9 feet to be exact.

Professor made the weird box thing. Was killed. Grimace went insane trying to contian it and was killed/chained by the others when he turned on them.