Crisis of the Red Dot

Dec 24th, 2017
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  1. Crisis of the Red Dot by AnthonyC4
  3. >"Anon! Thy assistance in this matter is urgently requested!"
  4. >yeahsure.jpg
  5. >In the middle of night court, fucking around with Princess Luna by using a laser pointer that you have peeking out of your front pocket.
  6. >Not many visitors, so who cares.
  7. >"Anon!"
  8. "Don't worry, you almost have it!
  9. >She is racing all around the throne room, chasing after the small red dot that "mysteriously" appears and disappears at will.
  10. >You're pretty certain the guards stationed at the entrance have caught on to your ploy, but even they can't resist following the dot with their eyes.
  11. >Luna has run herself ragged, with her hair all frizzed up and her fur uneven and matted, yet continues chasing the dot with an intensity, not unlike a typical house cat.
  12. >You've been fucking around for about ten minutes, but as fun, as it has been you feel the need to change things up a tad.
  13. >Taking another glance at the guards gives you a dastardly idea.
  14. >You quickly turn off the pointer, before shining it on the chest of one of the guards.
  15. >Luna turns on a dime, trying to pinpoint the dot's new location.
  16. >"Anon, where did-"
  17. >She sees the dot.
  18. >"Don't fret loyal guards! I shall protect thee!"
  19. >Luna sprints towards her guards.
  20. >Poor bastards.
  22. >"Anon."
  23. "It wasn't me."
  24. >After a recent incident regarding Luna and one of her guards last night, you have found yourself on the receiving end of a rather intimidating glare, owned by none other than the princess of the sun herself.
  25. >For some reason, she seems to think that you might be responsible for the events as they occurred.
  26. >You failed to see how laughing hysterically merits suspicion, but unfortunately, Celestia did not share your point of view.
  27. >"Really? And I suppose I am to think that your reaction to the incident was in no way connected to their cause?"
  28. "Yeah."
  29. >As witty a response it may be, you begin to suspect that Celestia is not going to be patient in this interrogation.
  30. >Call it a hunch, but the insurance paperwork on her desk, the pile of various complaints filed by the nobles against Luna after hearing about the incident, and Celestia's now twitchy eye all point to a rather unfortunate outcome for this scenario.
  31. >Unless you can successfully distract her that is.
  32. "It wasn't me, it was a red dot that started this!"
  33. >Celestia raised an eyebrow, unconvinced.
  34. >emergencyresponse.jar
  35. "Yeah, it was a red dot, like-"
  36. >Que fake and overdramatic gasp.
  37. "-Like that one right there!"
  38. >pleaseturnaroundpleaseturnaroundpleaseturnaround
  39. >She turns around.
  40. >You whip out your laser pointer and shine it against the far wall of her bedroom.
  41. >"W-what is that?!"
  42. >You flick your wrist so that the dot shines out the door to her chambers.
  43. >Scrambling to her hooves, she takes off after the dot.
  44. >"Wait!"
  45. >topkek.jpg
  46. >It's going to be a fun couple of days.
  48. >It's been about three days since the initial incident, and all suspicion against you has been dropped.
  49. >A formal notice went out this morning, straight from the desk of Princess Celestia herself, which called for the capture and arrest of one red dot.
  50. >It has been accused of crimes against ponykind and must be brought to justice.
  51. >The decree was even sent to neighboring nations.
  52. >Meanwhile, you could hardly contain your amusement at the development.
  53. >And every time you manage to contain your laughter, one of the princesses confronts you, asking for information regarding the newly christened federal criminal, sending you into another uproar, once they finally left of course.
  54. >Sometimes, you stop to think that perhaps you've taken the joke a tad bit too far.
  55. >But when you hear that Celestia and Luna are bringing Twilight and her friends to Canterlot in help "fight" the red invader, you could not feel anything less than victorious.
  56. >You wonder how you shall orchestrate their final encounter with the infamous red dot.
  57. >Eh, you're sure you'll come up with something entertaining at the very least.
  59. >”Don’t you worry Anon! My friends and I are sure to stop the dastardly red dot!”
  60. >yeahsurewhateveryousay.mp3
  61. “I’m sure you will.”
  62. >Twilight, spearheading her little compatriots, positively radiated confidence.
  63. >She truly believed in her cause.
  64. >You can’t blame her for being enthusiastic.
  65. >But you were absolutely going to call her a faggot for thinking that a red dot could be threatening.
  66. >As the girls walked off to meet with Celestia, you couldn’t help but feel that thing had perhaps gotten too far out of hand.
  67. >Sure, it was funny at first, when all it did was make Luna run around like the adorable pony she is.
  68. >But now that dot has become something much more malicious.
  69. >Now that dot has found itself the enemy of the state.
  70. >You’ve even begun to see wanted posters crop up, some offers rising as high as 100,000 bits!
  71. >You didn’t know how much money that actually was because you live off of the princesses’ good intentions like a lecherous parasite.
  72. >Not that you felt guilty for that or anything.
  73. >But it sure sounds like a lot!
  74. >You take out the laser pointer and look at it.
  75. >It is a toy.
  76. >No, it WAS a toy.
  77. >Somehow, you turned it into a weapon.
  78. >A weapon that has done no damage and has committed no sin, yet has become public enemy number one.
  79. >Suddenly, you couldn’t help but feel a little small, reflecting on your actions and what had happened up to this point.
  80. >At what point is it no longer a joke?
  81. >Was the joke even funny anymore?
  82. >It’s not as if you could share the joke with anybody.
  83. >It was a joke that you, and ONLY you, had any knowledge of.
  84. >It is a rather humbling thought.
  85. >But would you even be able to tell anybody?
  86. >What’s to stop Celestia and Luna from locking you up for this?
  87. >Especially considering how seriously they’ve taken things.
  88. >No, revealing the joke at play is too risky.
  89. >That’s not the way to go about this.
  90. >With a sigh, you return the toy to your pocket and look up towards Canterlot Castle.
  91. >You ponder your circumstances for a moment before you begin your slow walk to catch up with the girls.
  92. >After all, there is still time.
  94. >”Girls, I must speak frankly. Even my sister and I, with all our years and experience, have never once ever encountered a force such as this.”
  95. >Gathered together in the throne room, you stand by as Celestia and Luna describe the situation to the six ponies before them.
  96. >However, you could not be less focused on their conversation.
  97. >Instead, your thoughts were on the red dot itself, and what you were going to do with it.
  98. >Despite your confidence, you still lacked any sort of game plan, which made resolving the mess you made ever challenging.
  99. >You’ve blocked yourself too far in, now you struggle to find your way back out.
  100. >How silly that a simple prank such as this would evolve into something so serious.
  101. >You suppose this would be the perfect time to fess up.
  102. >To admit your mistakes and hope for a lesser punishment.
  103. >That would be the normal thing to do.
  104. >But you were not some beta normie.
  105. >You are Anon.
  106. >Autism ran in your blood; you would not let things end as cleanly as that.
  107. >With that thought, you turned and made to leave the throne room.
  108. >The other ponies took notice, but quickly dismissed it.
  109. >They didn’t know how integral your role in all of this was.
  110. >After much thought, you finally came to a simple conclusion, you would not be able to conclude this charade on your own.
  111. >You required help, from someone well versed in messes such as these.
  112. >Someone who would be ready and willing to assist you, despite the chaotic nature of the red dot fiasco.
  113. >And knowing him, he’s somewhere nearby, watching the chaos unfold.
  114. >It doesn’t take long to find him, after all, he wasn’t making much of an attempt to hide.
  115. >You found him lounging in the royal garden, popcorn in hand, eagerly awaiting your arrival.
  116. >The moment he laid eyes on you, he knew exactly why you were there.
  117. >And he smiled.
  118. >”Why, my dear Anonymous. I believe that you seek my aid.”
  119. “Indeed. Are you willing?”
  120. >”Considering the mess you made of things, I’d be perfectly content to sit back and watch you get what you are due.”
  121. “My friend, where would be the fun in that?”
  122. >Discord grew a twisted smile, his single tooth being ever prominent as always.
  123. >”I suppose you make a good point.”
  125. >Be Princess Celestia.
  126. >Having properly warned the girls of the red dot, you have sent them to rest and await your notice.
  127. >You only hope that their presence will assure victory over the luminescent invader.
  128. >Oh, you worry so much for their safety, but you have little choice otherwise.
  129. >Against this unknown entity, no amount of preparation is too much.
  130. >”Sister.”
  131. >You look up to see the concerned look on your younger sibling’s face.
  132. >”Thy mind is scattered; are thee well?”
  133. >You couldn’t help but smile at Luna’s kindness.
  134. “Worry not, dear sister. I am well and awake. Merely troubled, is all.”
  135. >Luna’s face contorted into one of disgust.
  136. >”We shall take vengeance against this being, for daring to make light of us and threaten our ponies!”
  137. >Oh... yes, Luna you were the first victim of the red dot, weren’t you?
  138. >As you remember the incident, your smile and cheerful demeanor slip away.
  139. >That was what started this whole mess isn’t it.
  140. >Even though the guard has since profusely apologized and has given a plethora of assurances that he wasn’t upset, it didn’t do much to take the sting out of what had happened.
  141. >You had to comfort Luna for hours afterward, the poor dear was bawling her eyes out.
  142. >It is difficult as is for her to adapt to modern society, and this issue has certainly undone a portion of our efforts to fix that cultural divide.
  143. >Chewing out the nobles during the following day court is only so effective.
  144. >As you reminisce, you can’t help but remember the one piece of the puzzle that didn’t yet have a place.
  145. >Anon.
  146. >Though you have since dropped him from responsibility, his demeanor...
  147. >Well, you weren’t one for pointing fingers, but to say that he deserved the suspicion he got isn’t entirely without merit.
  148. >But the way he reacted, it was almost as if he had some knowledge of these occurrences.
  149. >Some understanding of the scenario that he found particularly humorous.
  150. >The more you thought about it, the more you think that your initial assessment of Anon was perhaps more accurate than you have been led to believe.
  151. >You drew yourself up, catching the attention of Luna.
  152. >”Sister?”
  153. “Come, Luna. We have business with our resident human. It’s about time he gave us some straight answers for once.”
  155. >Be four days ago.
  156. >Be Discord.
  157. >Bored like a motherfucker.
  158. >Harmony is bullshit.
  159. >You want something chaotic to happen but Celestia will have your ass if you step out of line.
  160. >You are in your little cottage in Chaosville.
  161. >Fluttershy has to reschedule her tea party because you aren’t as special as her other friends.
  162. >Well, that’s not what she said.
  163. >What she said was that she was going to go the spa with Rarity to relax.
  164. >But you knew what she meant by that.
  165. >So now you’re bored, twiddling your thumbs as the clock ticks and never tocks.
  166. >You were rather proud of that little creation, as you were with others, yet they didn’t exactly scratch the itch you so desperately desired.
  167. >And so you feared that this would be the highlight of your day.
  168. >Well, technically back in Equestria it was night, but in Chaosvile, it was whatever time you so desired.
  169. >Until all of a sudden, you feel a little tingle shoot down your back, much where you would expect a spine to be.
  170. >Those types of metaphors don’t exactly work well when you’re a shape-shifting god of chaos, what have you.
  171. >The point is, when you felt this great shock, you knew it could only be one thing.
  172. >Chaos is at work.
  173. >You eagerly pop out of Chaosvile and poof into Equestria, gleefully scouting out wherever that little chaotic occurrence happened.
  174. >And wouldn’t you know it, you find yourself peeking into the night court, headed by none other than the irritating princess of the night, Luna.
  175. >Oh, how you loathe her gothic and drab colors.
  176. >But you feel you might have to give her credit where it’s due; she sure has found herself center stage in this chaotic tapestry.
  177. >She appeared to be chasing some red dot, though why you couldn’t imagine.
  178. “Now, who could be the ringmaster of this little operation? Whose hand do I have to shake after this wonderful little show?”
  179. >Your eyes trail away from the jittery lunar princess and find a rather interesting sight; the human.
  180. >What does he call himself?
  181. >Oh yes, Anonymous.
  182. >For a magic-less, weak, and otherwise crude little ape, he certainly knows how to reap the seeds of chaos.
  183. >You do give him some credit for that.
  184. >And your respect for him shoots through the roof when you see how he tricks Princess Luna into tackling her guard.
  185. >Honestly, it can be too easy to manipulate these ponies sometimes.
  186. >You suppose that’s why you find yourself sticking around them as opposed to the other species on this planet.
  187. >But this human...
  188. >He’s worth observing, at least for now.
  189. “Yes, Anonymous, you have grabbed the attention of the great Discord himself.”
  190. >You slip away back to Chaosvile, whilst Anon heartily laughs at the results of his trickery.
  191. “Now what will you do next, I wonder?”
  193. >Be Twilight.
  194. >Be walking back to the guest rooms with the girls.
  195. >”Just wait ‘till I get my hooves on ‘em. I swear I’ll have that dot cleaned out in ten seconds flat!”
  196. >”Yes dear, you were very vocal about that during our meeting with the princesses, but honestly Rainbow, have you no sense of etiquette? In front of royalty no less! For shame, hmm!”
  197. >”It is just as true now as it was then, Rarity! I gotta make sure this thing knows who it’s messin’ with!”
  198. >tfw the bickering is the only thing you’ve all been listening to since leaving the throne room, and you are about ready to throw the two of them out the window.
  199. >You calm yourself down, you need to be collected and prepared, should this red dot appear, and who knows when that’ll happen.
  200. “Girls, please! We need to be on guard. If the princess herself found it necessary to ask us for help, then it is our job to take this with the utmost seriousness!”
  201. >Rarity and Rainbow Dash look away, abashed looks on their faces.
  202. >Alright, now that that is settled, we can-
  203. >”Ah don’t exactly see why the princesses had ta’ get us involved. Can’t see much a’ how we could make a difference if even they can’t do nothin’.”
  204. >tired.jpg
  205. “I’m not going to question the decisions of the princesses, AJ. If they thought we could help, then that’s good enough for me, and it should be good enough for you too!”
  206. >Applejack turned away, a thoughtful look on her face.
  207. “Girls, let’s just head to our rooms. We can figure all this stuff out later. It’s been a long day for everyone.”
  208. >The girls grumble for a second, then begrudgingly agree with you.
  209. >thankcelestia.mp3
  210. >Your group of six breaks into two groups of three.
  211. >One group comprises of Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity, while the other is made up by you, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy.
  212. >Waving goodbye to the other girls, the three of you begin your trek towards the other side of the castle.
  213. >As the other group turns down a different hallway, the only sound around you is Pinkie’s signature bouncing and the occasional whimper from Fluttershy.
  214. >Pinkie Pie, as always, was perfectly ready to meet this new red dot without fear, hoping to make a new friend or at the very least, find a reason to throw yet another party.
  215. >In stark contrast to Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy could not be more apprehensive about the whole scenario.
  216. >It took everything you girls had just to bring her out here to Canterlot.
  217. >Even now, she shivers uncontrollably as her eyes dart from shadow to shadow, as though she expected something to pop out of them.
  218. >You do hope that this issue can be resolved swiftly, if only for her sake.
  219. >All of a sudden, as if some deity could hear your thoughts, Pinkie began to spasm furiously, only to stop after a few seconds.
  220. >”Whoo-wee! That’s one heck of a doozy! Again, again, again!”
  221. >While Fluttershy tries to calm her erratic breathing and Pinkie Pie giggles to herself, you try and think back to what you know of Pinkie Pie’s Pinkie Sense.
  222. >It was so long ago that it’s difficult to exactly recall what a shudder like that meant.
  223. >But any chance you had at properly contemplating the conundrum was quickly dashed as you happened to glance over at a wall.
  224. >Now, you had been at the castle many times, both before and after you moved to Ponyville.
  225. >You had been down this hallway many times and had seen this wall on numerous occasions, and every time there was nothing particularly of note.
  226. >But this time, things would be different.
  227. >Because upon what should’ve been a plain white wall of marble instead was an irregularity.
  228. >A distinction that took the form of a glowing red dot.
  230. >Be Anon.
  231. >Be executing Operation Bamboozle.
  232. >Phase 1, engage.
  233. >Be on castle roof.
  234. >Be shining your laser pointer on the wall in front of Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy.
  235. >See them adopt a stance like a cat ready to pounce.
  236. >Watching the butt wiggle.
  237. >Focus Anon.
  238. >Stop looking at pony butts.
  239. >This isn’t some erotica bullshit.
  240. >You’re doing serious work.
  241. >With lasers.
  242. >Yeah.
  243. “Come on, you fucking ponies. Take the bait.”
  244. >The first taker is Pinkie Pie.
  245. >Ohfucksheisfast
  246. >You had generally understood that she was a speedy little pony through passing discussion, but you didn’t expect this.
  247. >She wasn’t even running, she was bounding like a rabbit, making a beeline towards the red dot.
  248. >Quickly, you hop to your feet and dash across the tiled rooftop, trying to keep your red dot ahead of the party pony.
  249. >Right now, the other two ponies aren’t following Pinkie, they are still in a crouched position, following the dot with their eyes.
  250. >And that’s exactly what you need them to do.
  251. >As Pinkie Pie bounces after the red dot, you reflect on the various intricacies of your master plan.
  252. >Oh how sweet this so-called battle shall be.
  253. >How Discord so jovially responded to your proposal.
  254. >How could the draconequus resist such a deviously and certainly not a spontaneously-designed plan.
  255. >But first, you needed these ponies in a very particular place.
  256. >At first, you were unsure of how to gather so many ponies when there was only one of you.
  257. >But with Discord’s assistance, such a problem had been resolved.
  258. >Now that Pinkie Pie had been led a fair distance away from the others, it was time to spring the trap.
  259. >You certainly hope Discord had properly enchanted your laser pointer as you had asked.
  260. >With only a few feet of rooftop left to spare, you turn off the laser pointer just as Pinkie was led into a dead end.
  261. >Acting swiftly, you press a brand-new button on the side of your laser pointer that didn’t exist a few minutes ago.
  262. >Using all the wrist skills you gained from endless hours of masturbating to porn, you quickly switch on the new laser pointer mode and draw a circle around Pinkie Pie.
  263. >With that, the ground beneath Pinkie Pie opened and swallowed the party pony before she even realized what was happening.
  264. >You take a moment to catch your breath, before releasing a sigh of relief.
  265. >You rap the side of your head, before speaking aloud as though some omnipresent force could head you.
  266. “Alright, Anon Alpha reporting in. Target Pink has been captured. Ready for extraction. Notify Anon clones Beta and Gamma; have them ready to contain and capture Targets Yellow and Purple.”
  267. >With that said, you vanish in a flash of white light.
  269. >Be Anon Eta.
  270. >Be with Anon Theta.
  271. >The two of you are awaiting the final two pawns in your grand scheme.
  272. >But getting them to play their respective roles might prove to be rather difficult.
  273. >You have received word from the other Anon clones that they have all successfully captured all six of their targets.
  274. >You and Theta are now responsible for the King and Queens of your chess game.
  275. >Targets Sun and Moon.
  276. >They are the most important, yet the most unpredictable pieces in play.
  277. >This might prove to be a challenge.
  278. >Right now, you and Theta are waiting by the throne room.
  279. >tbh the two of you don’t know where the fuck to look for the princesses, but you are too scared of being taken by surprise to leave.
  280. >So you’ve kind of just laid back.
  281. >You Rock Paper Scissors with Theta for the right to sit on Celestia’s throne.
  282. >yfw loose.
  283. “Best two out of three.”
  284. >yfw loose.
  285. “Best three out of five.”
  286. >yfw loose.
  287. “Best four out of seven.”
  288. >yfw loose.
  289. “Best five out of--“
  290. >”No.”
  291. >sadanon.jpg
  292. >Theta takes Celestia’s throne.
  293. “I didn’t want to sit on her stinky ass throne anyway, Luna is the best princess.”
  294. >Sit on the clearly superior throne.
  295. >
  296. >
  297. >
  298. >Okay, something needs to happen soon.
  299. “Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go out and look for the princesses.”
  300. >”Bet.”
  301. >ithinkyouallknowhowthisends
  302. >You leave the throne room feeling rather pissy.
  303. >Hall after hall passes you by as you scour the castle for the two ponies of the hour.
  304. >It’s a miracle anybody can find anything in this godforsaken castle, there are more closets and hallways to lead to nothing than you’d think are necessary.
  305. >In fact, you’re starting to feel that you’ve become a tad bit lost.
  306. >”You appear to be lost, perhaps you could use a bit of assistance.”
  307. “Yeah, I could use a bit of help-“
  308. >Your stupid ass couldn’t even realize halfway through your response just who exactly you were talking to.
  309. >As you turn around and come face to face with the two rulers of Equestria, you can’t help but feel as though you were blessed with a stupidity unrivaled even among the other Anon clones.
  310. >”It just so happens that we would like to have a few choice words with you. Perhaps we can solve each other’s problems. You seem to have information we want, and vice versa. So what do you say?”
  311. >Live by the sword, die by the sword, as you would say.
  312. >You turn around to run away, but barely move three steps before a blue aura surrounds you, levitating you off the ground as well as immobilizing you.
  313. >”Oh please Anon, thee truly didn’t think we’d let you get away. Now let us take this conversation somewhere away from prying eyes.”
  314. >ohfuckohfuckohfuck
  315. >”And no amount of ear scritches can save thee from us now.”
  316. >And with a poof, the three of you teleport away, leaving an unconcerned and ignorant Anon back on the throne room, waiting for an Anon who was too stupid for his own good.
  318. >Be Anon Alpha.
  319. >Be pissed.
  320. >Anon clones Eta and Theta aren’t reporting in, the lazy fucks.
  321. >You fail to recognize the irony in calling your clones lazy.
  322. >You have all the girls floating around in a little pocket dimension Discord whipped up on the spot.
  323. >You didn’t know what it was like in there and Discord wouldn’t tell you anything.
  324. >But you’re sure he was tame.
  325. >You think.
  326. >Eh whatever, it doesn’t particularly matter.
  327. >But with the princesses absent, you are posed with a rather difficult situation.
  328. >You could continue with the plan and simply omit the princesses, but if the princesses were to show up midway through, you’d be unequipped to properly deal with them.
  329. >It would be rather catastrophic for your plans.
  330. >But at the same time, you weren’t exactly a patient man.
  331. >fuckit.mp3
  332. “Discord! We are going to move on with the plan without Eta and Theta.”
  333. >Discord appears in a puff of smoke, sitting in a chair with a mirror in front of him, putting on various make-up thingies that you don’t know the name of or care to know.
  334. >”Already? But I still have so much preparing to do!”
  335. “You aren’t even going to be facing anybody. We’re working from the shadows. In fact, being seen is the absolute last thing we want.”
  336. >Discord sighs before wiping his face clean, then snapping his fingers, which poofs away his vanity.
  337. >”Alright, let’s get on with this. I’d rather not use more chaos magic than necessary. Those annoying little alicorns are too quick to point fingers my way, and I’d rather not have that happen when their accusations are correct for once.
  338. >With another snap of his fingers, the room becomes ablaze with red light, and mad cackling fills the air as you and your partner in crime prepare for battle.
  340. >Be Anon Eta.
  341. >Location Unknown.
  342. >Be barely conscious.
  343. >Try sitting up.
  344. >Can’t.
  345. >Tied down.
  346. >Brain too sleepy for coherent thought.
  347. >”So sister, what do you think?”
  348. >Voices!
  349. >”Methinks thou eats too much cake, dear sister.”
  350. >rekt.jpg
  351. >”I do not!”
  352. >”There’s frosting on thy lips right now!”
  353. >There is a moment of silence, before you hear something the usual tinkling sound of magic being used, presumably wiping off the frosting, which is then followed by a soft sniffle.
  354. >”Sister, do not cry. We shall help thee diet.”
  355. >”I don’t want to go on a diet! I want to eat cake!”
  356. >”The size of thine flanks shall increase, should you continue these eating habits!”
  357. >The sound of sobbing grows louder.
  358. >You hear Luna skittering around, clearly distressed.
  359. >”Okay, okay! Fine, eat cake and get fat if it is what thou desirest. But don’t blame us if thy stress eating renders thee plump and round!”
  360. >Almost immediately, the sobbing stops, and in its place, you hear the soft sound of bouncing accompanied by a little giggle.
  361. >Luna sighs in exasperation.
  362. >”Ugh, let’s just get back to the matter at hand. We cannot take this for much longer.”
  363. >The sound of hooves against hard rock get louder as Luna draws closer to where you lay tied up.
  364. >You remain still and try not to give away your awakened state by pretending to still be asleep.
  365. >”Please, Anon. Do not insult us like this. The fake snoring trick is even older than I am, and not once in thousands of years has it ever been successful.”
  366. >oof.mp3
  367. >Suddenly, a bright light being lit above you causes you to flinch in pain.
  368. >The pain from the bright light soon is mitigated as something casts a shadow over your form.
  369. >You open your eyes to see the rather unforgiving glaze of Princess Luna, with Princess Celestia off to the side, partially hidden in the darkness.
  370. >The place you're in looks not unlike the usual interrogation rooms you used to watch on crime shows back on Earth.
  371. >Or porn.
  372. >Despite your hopes, you don’t exactly think you’ll get a happy ending like that though.
  373. >Still, a man can hope.
  374. “H-hey Luna, Celestia. I was just looking for the two of you! How are my favorite alicorns?”
  375. >Luna’s expression doesn’t change.
  376. >”We know of thy plan, Anonymous.”
  377. >ahfuck
  378. “Come on Luna, it was all in good fun, right? Just a little prank, you know? That’s what friends do right? Prank each other? Yeah, you know what I mean.”
  379. >justasocialexperiment.mp4
  380. “And besides, I kept things on a small scale. I was fully comfortable with just a little trick and dash. It’s YOU guys that took things to the next level by declaring that stupid red dot a public menace.”
  381. >Oh shit that was the wrong answer.
  382. >Luna looks fucking pissed.
  383. >”Do not try to blame us for thy misdeeds Anon! If you had simply taken the punishment thou rightfully deserved, thy situation would have been less dire! Instead, by keeping thy prank a secret, the problem has snowballed out of anyponies control, and not only did thou leave it at that, you conspired with Discord to make an even larger mess of things! What was thy plan for after this, hm? Did thou truly expect that a formal investigation would not have been filed? That we wouldn’t have eventually discovered thy role in all of this? If things had occurred as you planned, thy punishment would make what you are about to experience tame by comparison!”
  384. >uhhhhh
  385. >She might have a point.
  386. >Celestia takes this opportunity to step in, and Luna takes a back seat.
  387. >Your hopes that she might play the good cop in this interrogation are quickly put to rest with the hard glare she is giving you.
  388. >”Anon, you are so very lucky that we ran into you. As my sister so eloquently stated, your crimes would have skyrocketed if you had continued down that path. I hope you are comfortable in your restraints because you aren’t going to be leaving them for a while. My sister and I are going to head out and clean up the mess you’ve made before we come back and give you your sentence. You’d best pray that none of our little ponies has been harmed. You won’t last long enough to regret it if they have.”
  389. >With that, the two sisters teleported away, leaving you shrouded in darkness, still tied down.
  390. >Well, you suppose there’s nothing else to do but wait.
  391. >
  392. >
  393. >
  394. >You begin to feel the need to use the restroom.
  396. >Be Discord.
  397. >Be gearing up for battle with Anon's clones.
  398. >Be a little concerned for the two Anon clones that were a no-show.
  399. >You shrug it off.
  400. >After all, Eta is the original.
  401. >And Theta is just a clone.
  402. >So nothing bad can particularly happen.
  403. >But you do find it a bit peculiar that the original allowed another clone to assume a leadership position, though being cloned would make one rather scatterbrained, you would have to admit.
  404. >If put in such a position, it's entirely possible that one might forget that they are the original, though you don't think that even Anon, stupid he may be, would be as clueless as that.
  405. >But speaking of the clones...
  406. >Now that you think about it, the clones did seem... off-putting, for lack of an alternative descriptor.
  407. >They seemed to be more aggressive, more autonomous, more menacing than they were when you created them.
  408. >Though you do have to suppose that creating clones of a particularly chaotic human made entirely of pure chaos magic, and then giving them autonomy on top of it all might have been a tad bit overkill.
  409. >And boy howdy, did they require magic.
  410. >You could've leveled a city block with the same amount of magic you used to create just one Anon clone!
  411. >And not only that, you made SEVEN of them!
  412. >But considering just how much chaos you'll be making from this, you feel a warmth in your heart knowing that that chaos magic will be put to good use.
  413. >While you are lost in thought over the beautiful chaos about to be made, you don't notice the rather ugly look on Alpha's face.
  414. >You don't notice the little spark of energy glance over Gamma's body.
  415. >You don't notice Zeta's maniacal grin stretching from ear to ear.
  416. >And you most certainly didn't notice Delta's sclera glow a sickly yellow, highlighting the bright red of his irises.
  417. >No, you were simply lost in thought, while an unsettling change was occurring in Anon's clones.
  419. >Be Twilight.
  420. >Be floating in a hellish nightmare world.
  421. >One moment, you were eagerly chasing some red dot, the next thing you know, demons were in your face screaming bloody murder.
  422. >The moans of the damned aside, you were rather bored.
  423. >Being an all-powerful alicorn made you rather desensitized to threats like these.
  424. >What had you concerned was the safety of your friends.
  425. >After all, you watched as Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy ran after red dots, who knows where they are now?
  426. >Now that you've had the time to think about it, you realize the play that was made against you.
  427. >They successfully divided you, and likely now intend to deal with each of you individually.
  428. >That does make things rather difficult.
  429. >But not impossible.
  430. >Especially not for you and your friends.
  431. >But where to start...
  432. >Looking around the decrepit expanse yields no indication of your location.
  433. >The only information you have to go off is that you arrived through some sort of portal.
  434. >Come now, Twilight!
  435. >Magic is your gift!
  436. >Surely, if there is a pony with the skills and knowledge necessary to get out of this, it's you!
  437. >You twist and turn all around, looking for something, anything.
  438. >Still, nothing.
  439. >Hmm, you came here through a portal...
  440. >Why weren't you teleported?
  441. >That question seemed to be the key to all of this.
  442. >The amount of magic required to open a portal, even if only for a split second, vastly dwarfs that which is required to teleport.
  443. >So it wouldn't make sense to choose a portal over a transmission spell.
  444. >Unless there was something that prevented simple teleportation.
  445. >Think, Twilight, think!
  446. >What are the differences in application between teleportation and spatial tunneling?
  447. >Uh... portals connect two points in space, creating a bridge between them that allows quick travel over a long distance without having to travel the distance between those two points.
  448. >Teleportation is using magic to relocate something to a different point in the spatial plane.
  449. >Teleportation merely requires that one have a general idea of where you are in relation to your intended destination, and because it is instantaneous rather than continuous, it isn't a taxing spell for the magically adept.
  450. >Portals, on the other hand, can be used to traverse vast distances, even between different dimensions, and do not require prior knowledge or understanding of the destination.
  451. >Between different dimensions... of course!
  452. >How could you not have guessed it earlier?
  453. >With that knowledge in mind, as well as a smirk and growing sense of pride, you prepare to cast a portal spell.
  454. >Hopefully, you will be able to return to Equestria and find the ones responsible for sealing you away.
  455. >You do hope your friends will be able to survive their hellscapes long enough for you to rescue them.
  456. >Your horn begins crackling with raw power, glowing intensely, before shooting out a beam of light, breaking a hole in the fabric of space directly beneath you.
  457. >With a flap of your wings, you propel yourself through the portal.
  458. >With a dull thud, you find yourself in a rather intimate embrace with marble flooring, as the portal closes behind you.
  459. >Getting your bearings, you try to stand up and collect yourself, only to be knocked to the floor as something hard and heavy connects with the back of your head.
  460. "Ugh...w-what happened?"
  461. >Trying to process what happened, you instinctively flap your wings, prepared to fly away, but end up receiving a sharp pain near the base of your wing.
  462. >Shaking the dizziness away, you open your eyes to see what appears to be a rather hefty spear piercing through your right wing.
  463. >The sight of fresh blood oozing from your wound sobers you up, and panic quickly grips you.
  464. >WHACK
  465. >Another blow to your head sends you reeling in pain, and as your skull throbs, you can barely make out a gleeful giggle.
  466. >WHACK
  467. >The pain... it's unbearable!
  468. >WHACK
  469. >Please...
  470. >WHACK
  471. >No... more...
  472. >WHACK
  473. >I...
  474. >WHACK
  475. >WHACK
  476. >WHACK
  477. >
  478. >
  479. >
  481. >Be Luna.
  482. >Be leaving the interrogation room that has become Anon's little cell with Celestia in tow.
  483. >Be feeling rather angry at the human.
  484. >Because of him, you were not only tricked into assaulting your guard, but he also continued to collaborate with Discord and would've exacerbated the issue, had he not been detained.
  485. >To top it all off, he had the audacity to try and misdirect responsibility for his actions onto you and your sister.
  486. >To say that you were righteously upset was an understatement.
  487. >Celestia took notice of your fuming.
  488. >"Luna, come now. I understand your ire, but anger will solve nothing right now. We need to tackle this problem calmly and with purpose. Aimless wrath will accomplish nothing constructive."
  489. "We are well-aware of this sister, but it does little to subdue our fury at Anon, curse him."
  490. >"Anon will be punished for his actions, do not worry yourself about that."
  491. "That is not what we were referring to."
  492. >Celestia looked away, an uneasy look on her face; she didn't know how to respond to that.
  493. >You didn't expect her to.
  494. >Your return from banishment was... restless, to say the least.
  495. >You were faced with opposition from all directions, making assimilation back into society even more difficult.
  496. >For all the efforts of Twilight and her friends during your first Nightmare Night, only Ponyville started to take a more positive reaction to your presence.
  497. >Other cities like Manehatten and Appaloosa still reacted with fright towards you.
  498. >It was an extremely depressing time.
  499. >But when Anon appeared in Equestria, you felt happy for the first time in a long while.
  500. >Anon didn't suck up to you like the pitiful nobles here in Canterlot do, nor did he fear you like the common pony.
  501. >He was the first real friend you made since your return, and despite his flaws, you still regarded him highly.
  502. >But what he did to you that day stung like nothing you had ever experienced before.
  503. >You felt betrayed and used.
  504. >You began to question the nature of your friendship with Anon.
  505. >Is he still even your f-friend?
  506. >A-after all y-you've suffered, why w-would he do t-this to you?
  507. >D-does he h-hate you a-after a-all?
  508. >"Luna?"
  509. >You turn to your sister, who supports a concerned look on her face.
  510. >"Do you need a moment?"
  511. >You stand there for a moment, uncertain to her meaning, before feeling how wet your face had become.
  512. >You quickly wipe your face clean of tears and clear your throat before standing tall and marching onward, past Celestia.
  513. "C-come sister, let us finish this quickly. We would rather not waste time."
  514. >Celestia is silent for a moment, clearly, she wants to say something, but your continued march onwards leaves her no choice but to follow you.
  515. >The two of you continue onwards, making the journey in silence, with only the smallest sniffle every now and again to break the silence.
  516. >At least, it was the only sound, until the sound of a rather familiar voice off in the distance alerts the two of you.
  517. >The two of you look at each other before picking up the pace, the voice getting louder as you approach.
  518. >The voice sounds... desperate.
  519. >Pleading almost.
  520. >But you still can't make out what exactly is being said.
  521. >You find yourself on one side of a closed door.
  522. >Judging by the voices, the perpetrators stand in the room right behind it.
  523. >You nod to your sister, before rearing up and giving the door a swift kick with your forehooves.
  524. >The door shatters under your immense strength, and pieces fly everywhere as you and your sister forcefully enter the room.
  525. >Before you lies a sight you will not soon forget.
  526. >You see Discord, sporting an uncharacteristically frightened look on his face, whose head was turned around to face you and your sister.
  527. >He shook and quivered as though he were panicking, and appeared to be hyperventilating.
  528. >Across from him... by the stars!
  529. >There lay Twilight, who was bleeding heavily from the head, her mane matted and fur stained blood red.
  530. >Her wing had been pierced by a large spear and lay limp at her side.
  531. >Standing above her unconscious form was what you assumed to be one of Anon's clones.
  532. >In his hand, he held what appeared to be a metal club, which dripped with Twilight's essence and... bone fragments?!
  533. >The unholy look on his face revealed a horrifying sense of glee at the morbid display in front of him.
  534. >He watched your expression turn to utter horror with a maniacal smile.
  535. >"Well now, isn't this a wonderful little treat? Here I was, thinking things couldn't be any better, and now we have a wonderful audience to witness our performance. Although..."
  536. >Anon's grin slowly left, only to be replaced by a wrathful glare as he growled at you.
  537. >"You weren't supposed to be here. Eta and Theta were supposed to be rid of you. No matter, I'll simply deal with those two later. For now, I have some business that I must attend to."
  538. >His gleeful smile returns just as quickly as it left as he held up his open hand, wrapping his other arm around Twilight.
  539. >"Ta-ta!"
  540. >With a snap of his fingers, Anon and Twilight disappeared in a flash of black light, with only a puddle of blood to indicate that anyone had ever been there.
  541. >Discord slumped to his hands and knees, clearly distressed.
  542. >"Oh no, no, no. This wasn't how things were supposed to go."
  543. >He looks up towards you and your sister, still in shock at what you had just witnessed.
  544. >"I-I just wanted to make some chaos, this wasn't part of the plan, I swear!"
  545. >Snapping out of your stupor, you march up to Discord, your face contorting with rage.
  546. "Discord, start talking. If thou are lucky, we might decide against your reimprisonment."
  547. >With the threat of being turned to stone again in the air, Discord begins to recount what had happened mere moments prior.
  549. >Be Discord.
  550. >Be waiting for the signal to start the plan.
  551. >Oh, how fun it will be to spread the seeds of chaos once more.
  552. >You really must be ready to thank Anonymous for granting you this wondrous opportunity.
  553. >You would've continued your inner monologue of euphoria, but found it interrupted by Anon Alpha storming by with a rather mean look on his face.
  554. "Oh, dear Anonymous, whatever could be the matter? We're almost ready to start our little invasion-"
  555. >Alpha cuts you off, his voice dripping with a nasty, biting tone.
  556. >"We won't be doing that anytime soon."
  557. >wut
  558. "B-but we scheduled this to happen in just a few minutes and I finally got my makeup on and everything, why are we stopping?"
  559. >"Because a certain little alicorn couldn't keep herself locked away and cast a portal spell. Now I have to go out to Equestria and rectify this error."
  560. "And how do you plan on doing that?"
  561. >Alpha turns away from you, towards a nearby weapon rack, so you don't see the malicious smile on his face.
  562. >"Don't you worry about that, just make sure everything stays operational here."
  563. >You couldn't help but feel as though there was something more than Alpha was letting on.
  564. >As you turn away, the thought of the clones resurfaces in your mind.
  565. >How unusually... motivated they appeared, for lack of a better term.
  566. >While a black light flashed behind you, you sat there for a moment, contemplating the new developments regarding the clones.
  567. >wait.
  568. >wait.
  569. >wait.
  570. "Oh no!"
  571. >You cry out in shock as you teleport away.
  572. "I accidentally put the socks in with the colored clothes! Now they're going to turn all pinkish!"
  573. >You moan as you stop your washing machine back in Chaosville, trying to salvage your socks.
  574. >You sniffle as you pull out what should've been a pristine white sock, only for it to be splotched with pink spots.
  575. "Aw rats, this was my favorite pair."
  576. >You sit there for a moment, before perking up and tossing the now ruined socks in the trash.
  577. "Whatever, they were old socks anyways. You can only use the same pair of socks for a few thousand years at a time before they get stale."
  578. >You poof into existence a brand-new package of socks.
  579. "And besides, black socks are totally in right now."
  580. >You take out one of the black socks and admire its new sock visage, untainted by your mismatched feet.
  581. >It's so difficult finding socks in your size, especially ones that account for dragon feet.
  582. >But at least these ones are so refreshingly new.
  583. >And you must admit, that luscious black color is really standing out for you-
  584. >wait.
  585. >Black?
  586. >There was a black flash of light...
  587. >You teleport back to the secret planning room of secrecy.
  588. >You look over towards the weapons rack and notice a missing spear and club.
  589. "No, he shouldn't be able to... Oh dear."
  590. >Snapping your fingers once more brings you to Canterlot castle, where you find yourself in front of a rather beaten and bloody Twilight being assaulted by Alpha.
  591. "Oh heavens! What are you doing!?"
  592. >Anon pauses his onslaught to turn around and look at you.
  593. >The evil apparent in his eyes says it all.
  594. >You take a step back.
  595. >How can he use magic?
  596. >Why is he attacking Twilight?
  597. >Will DC ever make a good DCEU movie?
  598. >But most importantly of all...
  599. >Will Fluttershy ever forgive you for this?
  600. >You created Alpha and the others.
  601. >It would now appear that an altogether different set of prerogatives drove them.
  602. >Everything is now spiraling out of your control.
  603. >But it's not too late to fix things.
  604. >Your eyes light up with raw magical energy as your wrath grows.
  605. "Alpha, you've taken this too far. Perhaps I have been too lenient in giving you autonomy. I will admit, that was a mistake on my behalf. It is now my place to rectify this dilemma. Goodbye, Alpha. It was nice knowing you."
  606. >You charge up your magical energies, ready to strip Alpha of the chaos magic that created him.
  607. >With a single point of your finger, you channel your will to bend reality around you.
  608. >You prepare to feel the rush of power that comes with taking magic from something, yet it doesn't come.
  609. >You stare at Alpha as his grin grew wider.
  610. >"My dear Discord, it would appear you no longer have control over me. But I suppose that is a rather incorrect choice of words. It would be more accurate to say that you NEVER had control over me; you were a fool to think otherwise."
  611. >As the weight of the situation began to sink in, you begin to be gripped by panic.
  612. >Not only does Alpha now appear to be able to channel the chaos magic that created him, but also altered the very make-up of the magic that permeates his being.
  613. >It now no longer belongs to you and is therefore beyond your control.
  614. >You find yourself to be shaking harder than you've ever shaken before.
  615. >H-how silly!
  616. >You've faced down alicorns stronger than this whelp.
  617. >Even Twilight and her friends were more of a threat than this puny human.
  618. >But as you look deep into Alpha's face, you find yourself greeted by dark intentions.
  619. >One thing is abundantly clear; the being standing before you has mutated into some abomination, whose evil has surpassed anything Equestria had ever seen before.
  620. >And Alpha might not be the only one.
  621. >The gravity of the situation renders you immobile, paralyzed with fear.
  622. >You've created a monster.
  623. >Everything that this walking apocalypse does, every evil deed this sinful entity commits; the blame rests in your hands.
  624. >Suddenly, the nearby door shatters, and two familiar alicorns rush into the scene.
  625. >You watch their faces contort with horror and disgust.
  626. >You dimly notice Alpha mention something, then teleport away with Twilight's battered form.
  627. >You collapse on all fours, eyes welling up with tears.
  628. "Oh no, no, no. This wasn't how things were supposed to go."
  629. >You look up to the alicorns with sorrow in your eyes.
  630. "I-I just wanted to make some chaos, this wasn't part of the plan, I swear!"
  631. >Luna's face contorts into one of rage as she marches towards you.
  632. >"Discord, start talking. If thee are lucky, we might decide against your reimprisonment."
  633. >With that, you begin blubbering, trying to tell Celestia and Luna what had happened.
  634. >And maybe even apologize for it.
  636. >Be Anon Eta.
  637. >Still be tied up.
  638. >Struggling to not wet your pants.
  639. >You aren’t aware of how long exactly you’ve been here for, but you’re sure that it’s been some time since Celestia and Luna left.
  640. >No matter how hard you struggle, the rope remains taut around you, making escape impossible.
  641. >You began to fear the worst for your pants as your struggle to keep your dignity grows ever harder.
  642. >Suddenly, you hear a knock on the door to your makeshift prison.
  643. >You didn’t even know there was a door, though thinking back on it you realize how stupid that thought was.
  644. >How silly of you, of course, there was going to be a door.
  645. >Stupid Anon.
  646. >With a large crack, the door is blown away by an incredible force, and the sudden glare from the outside light blinds you.
  647. >Wincing from the pain, you try to identify the intruder.
  648. >As your eyes adjust from the darkness you were just lifted from, you make out a large figure in the now broken doorway.
  649. >That form…
  650. >It could only be…
  651. >”You got yourself captured; how pitiful, Eta. I didn’t expect you to be this incompetent. Makes me ashamed to be your clone.”
  652. >You still reeling from the turn of events, Theta approaches you.
  653. “How did you find me?”
  654. >”I saw the princesses pass by the throne room while talking about your interrogation. And because I am not as idiotic as you are, I was able to put two and two together and thought that you must be in an interrogation room. By God, you really are a moron.”
  655. “Fuck you. Just get me out of these restraints already, I gotta go take a piss.”
  656. >With a huff, Theta grabs one of the broken door shards with a sharp edge and begins to saw your bindings.
  657. >It takes a bit of time, but eventually, Theta frees you from your bonds.
  658. >”Now we gotta go. Alpha has called us back to base.”
  659. “Not yet. Did you forget already? I gotta piss.”
  660. >Theta groans in frustration.
  661. >”Ugh, fine! Hurry up and use the restroom then, we don’t have all day to lollygag about!”
  662. “Where’s the nearest bathroom?”
  663. >If looks could kill.
  664. >You mutter a quick apology and decide to just look for one yourself, hastily leaving the interrogation room.
  665. >Feeling that it would likely be unhealthy for you to piss of Theta anymore than you already have, you decide against looking for a bathroom and instead make a beeline for the nearest potted plant.
  666. >As you relieve yourself to great internal fanfare, you overhear Theta reporting back to Alpha.
  667. >”Yes, I found him. Yes, the princesses had interrogated him. Yes, they know of the plan and of the other clones.”
  668. >Theta remains silent for a while; Alpha must not be happy about the news.
  669. >”Then what would you have me do, then?”
  670. >Theta pauses for a moment, before glancing over at you.
  671. >Luckily, you were able to look away before he noticed your eavesdropping.
  672. >But not before you noticed the rather unsettling grin on his face.
  673. >”Consider it done.”
  674. >Oh yeah, that absolutely does not sound good at all.
  675. >As you finish up, Theta approaches you.
  676. >”Shake it more than three times and you’re playing with it.”
  677. >You’d be more than willing to fire back with the sass and banter you were best known for, but the chilling tone his voice held unnerved you.
  678. >Holding back a scathing reply, you make yourself decent before turning back around to face Theta.
  679. “Alright, I’m finished. Let’s head back to Alpha.”
  680. >”Well, we won’t be doing that anymore. There’s been a change of plans.”
  681. >You don’t like that look in Theta’s eye as he says that.
  682. >”It turns out that the princesses happened to stumble upon Alpha and Discord in a rather… let’s say, precarious situation, and we have been compromised. We have new directives now.”
  683. “And what would those be?”
  684. >Theta smiles sweetly, though that look in his eyes remains.
  685. >”I’ll tell you when we get back to the throne room. I’m sure you are still aware of how to get back there, correct?”
  686. “Of course I still know, we have the same memories!”
  687. >”Then please, lead the way.”
  688. >Theta’s change of character unsettled you.
  689. >Mere moments ago, he was ready to scream at you.
  690. >But now it’s as though his personality had done a complete one-eighty.
  691. >All of your instincts were screaming at you.
  692. >You felt that something was wrong, horribly so.
  693. >You needed to get away from Theta as fast as possible.
  694. >Turning quickly before Theta could notice your fear, you begin marching down the hallway, towards the throne room.
  695. >All of your senses were on high alert, making sure you were acutely aware of how far behind you Theta was.
  696. >You needed to ditch him and find someone, anyone else.
  697. >But how?
  698. >And will you be able to get away from him before he does something rash?
  699. >You don’t know the answers to these questions, and the longer you pose them to yourself, the greater the panic inside you builds.
  700. >But you were sure of one thing.
  701. >You need to do something and fast.
  702. >Though you were rattled with fear, you reminded yourself of several things in an attempt to calm yourself down.
  703. >One, Theta will not try anything in the halls.
  704. >Otherwise, he would risk being caught by a passing guard patrol.
  705. >Two, if he were to attack you, you are capable of defending yourself.
  706. >You might not be the greatest fighter in Equestria or anything, but you have some martial arts training.
  707. >You can handle yourself in a fight, should it be necessary.
  708. >Three, as Theta is still an Anon, you are more than aware of what he can and cannot do.
  709. >There is very little that Theta can blindside you with.
  710. >All that you would need to do is break the line of sight and then get out of there as fast as you can.
  711. >But just how to go about doing that is what has you currently stumped.
  712. >What can you do without Theta immediately becoming suspicious?
  713. >You already used the ‘I have to use the bathroom excuse’, so you aren’t exactly left with many options to go off of.
  714. >Racking your brain for potential ideas, you fumble with your hands before putting them in your pockets.
  715. >Your hand makes contact with something cold, hard, and metallic, and a potential escape avenue dawns on you.
  716. >But how can you pull it off without being caught…
  717. >If you can just get your laser pointer out of your pocket without drawing suspicion, you could open a portal beneath yourself and close it before Theta can follow.
  718. >As for what you would do after going through the portal, you weren’t sure.
  719. >But at least floating around in the hellscape would be better than hanging around here with Theta.
  720. >Now, just to distract Theta long enough to do it.
  721. “So, you mentioned a change in plans; why wait until we’re in the throne room to say it?”
  722. >Theta scowled, a much more natural expression, yet still just as undesirable as before.
  723. >”Maybe because I’d rather not deal with eavesdroppers? Is that a good enough excuse for you?”
  724. >Not really, but you weren’t about to mention that to his face, especially since he didn’t notice you inconspicuously pulling out your laser pointer.
  725. >Though you were still burning with questions, you were at least smart enough to realize that you were not in the position to be asking questions, and with that, the claustrophobic sensation of impending doom returned.
  726. >You turn back around, ready to quickly twirl around and draw the line necessary to create the portal beneath your feet, only to come face to face with the grand double doors that stood between you two and the throne room.
  727. >”Ah, we’re here! Come, Eta. We have work to do.”
  728. >With an unholy grin on his face, Theta marches up beside you and hooks his arm around yours, bringing the two of you closer to the doors.
  729. >With a sinking feeling, you realize that your escape won’t be as clean as you desired it to be.
  730. >With a shove, Theta opens the doors to the throne room and tosses you inside.
  731. >rude.jpg
  732. >By the time you regain your footing, you hear the thud of the doors slamming behind you.
  733. >It’s now or never.
  734. >You point the laser pointer to the ground with the portal setting on, and rapidly spin.
  735. >Unfortunately for you, not even half a rotation passes before a hard knee connects with your skull, sending you sprawling out on your back.
  736. >Before you have the chance to sit up, Theta stomps with his full weight on your hand, the one holding the laser pointer.
  737. >Amidst the cracking of bone, you clearly hear the shattering of glass, and with that sound, you understand that the only avenue of escape left to you is to fight Theta and win.
  738. >Otherwise, you predict yourself to be in a rather unsavory set of circumstances very soon.
  739. >But you are far from helpless.
  740. >With a roar, you pivot your whole body, using the broken hand Theta is stepping on as the pivot point and sweep your legs over to Theta, where you nail him hard in the back of his knee, causing Theta to lose his balance and fall onto his back.
  741. >Springing into action and ignoring the pain in your right hand, you quickly pull your left leg out from underneath Theta before driving your heel into his chin and pinning his chin down so that he is facing away from you, receiving a lovely crack of bone and yell from Theta.
  742. >Sweeping your other leg out from under Theta, you wedge it between him and the floor right by his armpit, so that Theta’s right arm lies between your legs.
  743. >You grab on to Theta’s arm by the wrist and then shift your left leg so that it no longer pinned his chin, but instead lay so that your heel pressed against his throat.
  744. >Before Theta knew what had happened, you have him set in an armlock.
  745. >You tighten your legs so that you are now pinching Theta’s throat with your butt and your heel, while also pulling his arm to the right and with a resounding snap, you hear and feel his arm snap at the elbow eliciting a scream of pain from Theta.
  746. >Once you’ve broken Theta’s arm, you reposition your hands so that Theta’s hand is folding back in on itself.
  747. >Theta’ realizes your next move, but in his panic, he can do little else but flail around helplessly around as you break his wrist too.
  748. >Remembering an old quip your martial arts instructor always loved to use, you grab hold of one of Theta’s fingers.
  749. ”Make a wish!”
  750. >With that said, you snap his finger like a twig.
  751. >Theta is now crying in pain and rage, and you feel it is time to put a stop to that as you squeeze his throat with more force than before.
  752. >You can just barely make out Theta’s eyes bulging out as he tries to breathe, while his unbroken arm beats mercilessly at your leg in an attempt to free himself.
  753. >But it is far too late for him to escape now, so you merely wait out his beatings until he remains still.
  754. >Breathing heavily, you remain in an armlock for a tad bit longer, just to be safe, before untangling yourself from your opponent.
  755. >Nursing your broken hand, you take a look at the damage Theta did to you.
  756. >A finger or two is out of place, and one appears to be bending at an unnatural angle, but the most damage comes from your palm, where the broken shards of the laser pointer have created deep lacerations, which bleed profusely.
  757. >You look over Theta’s still body before taking a chunk of his shirt to use as gauze for your wounds.
  758. >It’s been far too long since you were a Boy Scout, so you hope that just wrapping it up real good will be enough to keep you okay, at least until you can find help.
  759. >You also search his pockets before finding his laser pointer, which you collect as payment for the one he broke.
  760. >With all that done with, you silently begin making your way outside the throne room, looking for a guard or the princesses, or anyone who can help you.
  762. >Be Anon Alpha.
  763. >Be returning to the hellscape.
  764. >Be surrounded by the other Anon clones.
  765. >You dump the broken and battered form of Twilight Sparkle on the ground in front of them.
  766. >The clones adopt predatory grins at the sight of the beaten alicorn; a few of them let loose a few cackles and giggles.
  767. >You prepare to address you companions, but just as you open your mouth an intense wave of nausea washes over you, causing you to drop to your knees in pain.
  768. >You can just barely make out the other Anon clones suffering similarly.
  769. >Then as quickly as it started, it fades away, leaving an empty numbness in its stead.
  770. >You take a moment to catch your breath before barking out orders.
  771. “Get me a head count.”
  772. >A brief moment to count the bodies reveals two missing people, Eta and Theta.
  773. >”What are your orders?”
  774. >Beta approaches, questioningly, as Delta and Epsilon help you to your feet.
  775. “I want those two found and I want the source of that migraine discovered.”
  776. >Beta nods, before snapping at Gamma and Zeta.
  777. >”You heard him, move!”
  778. >As Gamma and Zeta teleport away, each with their respective task, you turn towards the rest of the clones that you hadn’t addressed.
  779. >”We are going to have a change of plans. We can no longer count on Discord, the traitorous scum has made his opposition to our cause very clear. Our primary targets remain Celestia and Luna, but now consider Discord among them.”
  780. >Beta and Delta nod appropriately, while Epsilon approaches the unconscious and bleeding alicorn.
  781. >”And what should we do with this nosy little troublemaker? Considering how easily she escaped the hellscape, we can’t exactly toss her back in.”
  782. “I will deal with her personally when she wakes. For now, fit her with a magic nullifying ring and ground her. Restrict her movement as much as possible. As for her wounds, make sure she doesn’t die but do nothing else beyond that.”
  783. >Epsilon blinks before picking Twilight up and teleporting away.
  784. >You turn to face the last two clones in your presence.
  785. “Now as for you two, I have a very particular job in mind. But it must be done with extreme precision and care; I don’t appreciate damaged goods, after all.”
  786. >Beta and Delta tilt their heads, confused as to your meaning.
  787. >With a maniacal grin spreading from ear to ear, you divulge to them the nature of their task.
  788. >As Beta and Delta acquire similarly evil smiles on their faces, they teleport away to accomplish their rather unorthodox task.
  789. >Now that you find yourself alone, you walk yourself over to a table in the corner of the room.
  790. >You look over all the papers strewn about, containing battle plans, possible avenues to take.
  791. >Utterly worthless now, the lot of them.
  792. >You sweep the table clean of the trash, before pulling out some new paper and an inkwell and feather.
  793. >As you dip your feather into the ink, you can’t help but admire the beauty of the secondary in your hand.
  794. >How smooth it felt in your hand, how pretty the sheen.
  795. >Oh, how you wished you had such beautiful feathers.
  796. >You collected yourself before returning to the task at hand.
  797. >After all, if Beta and Delta are successful, you won’t have need of a fake like this one anymore; you’d have the real thing within arms reach.
  798. >Your hand flows with smooth penmanship, as the ink perfectly matches the feather in your hand, which shined black like obsidian.
  800. >Be Anon Zeta.
  801. >Be in the Royal Canterlot libraries.
  802. >You were well aware that the particular text you were looking for would not be in the general area.
  803. >Rather, you were scoping out the entrance to the secret hidden vault of forbidden tomes.
  804. >You knew Celestia hid the entrance somewhere around here, it was simply a matter of where.
  805. >Luckily for you, the Royal Canterlot library was a massive complex; you had no reason to fear any unexpected guests.
  806. >But that didn’t mean you had the time to laze about, you needed to figure out where that secret entrance was.
  807. >As you walk along the various rows of scrolls and ancient texts, trying to figure out the solution to this particular riddle, you approach the gigantic spiral staircase in the center of the building.
  808. >Looking over the railing, you see the lower floors completely obscured by darkness, likely to keep the more light-sensitive texts safe.
  809. >That’s probably the best place to look for your entrance.
  810. >Grabbing a nearby candlestick, you make your way down the long staircase into the darkness.
  811. >Down and down and down you traveled; you were grateful for the ability to teleport out of here, otherwise, the trip back up the stairs would’ve killed you.
  812. >Finally, after what seemed like ages, you reached the bottom floor.
  813. >The books were no longer simply put on shelves down here; instead, each tome was locked away in a black box to ensure that absolutely no light reached them.
  814. >You raise your candlestick high, thankful that they were enchanted to last far longer than usual.
  815. >You certainly didn’t want to be lost in the dark here.
  816. >You slowly walk away from the staircase, directionless.
  817. >Carefully, you begin the arduous task of scanning the various tables, the statues, hell even the cobwebs, in the event that they might hold the answer to the secret library.
  818. >As you walk past the various statues, you notice something out of place with one of them.
  819. >Whereas all the other statues were merely looking straight ahead with their eyes closed, this one was looking slightly downward.
  820. >You stare at it for a moment, before reaching your head up until you were at eye level with the statue.
  821. >You then turned around and followed the statue’s line of sight, which directed towards one of the boxes.
  822. >There wasn’t anything particularly of note of the box from a distance, but you weren’t about to be dissuaded that easily.
  823. >These ponies are so naïve when it comes to actual puzzles.
  824. >They lack any sort of inventiveness; they feel no drive to develop intricacies.
  825. >Approaching the box, you read the silver plaque upon which the name of the text was inscribed, before reading it out loud.
  826. “Clavis Arca Archa. ab scriptor, Sol Reginae… Oh fuck off Celestia, you aren’t clever.”
  827. >You crack open the box to reveal not a book, but a single golden key.
  828. >Pulling it out, you inspect it.
  829. >It just appears to be an ordinary key, with no inscriptions of any kind adorning it.
  830. >How tasteless.
  831. >You pocket the key before closing the box you took it from.
  832. >Once you closed the box, a flash of light blinded you for a moment, causing you to drop your candlestick.
  833. >Cursing Celestia, you fumble around trying to pick up the candle whilst blinking the spots out of your eyes.
  834. >Standing back up reveals a lock where the box once sat.
  835. >You aren’t very impressed, and you promise yourself that when all of this is said and done you are going to have a long talk with Celestia about the art of subtlety because she clearly has no clue what that is.
  836. >Putting the key into the lock elicits yet another flash of light, blinding you once more.
  837. >Once you reopen your eyes, you find yourself in a brand new area.
  838. >The hidden royal archives.
  839. >You could go on about how pretty the place looked or how well kept everything seemed to be, but to be truly honest you could not give less of a shit.
  840. >You were tired and wanted to be done with this sooner rather than later, so you began your march towards the shelves, looking for the scrolls you were tasked with hunting.
  841. “History of Equus, Rise of the Minotaur, Banishment of the Moon Princess, yadda yadda, whatever… Ah, here we go.”
  842. >You pull out a leatherbound book titled Maledictus Magia.
  843. >Exactly what you were looking for.
  844. >But before you teleport out of the archives, you find your eye snagged by a particular scroll.
  845. >A brief moment to read the title is all it takes for a large smile to break out on your face.
  846. “Why, what a marvelous little gem we have here? I’m certainly taking you home with me; I won’t allow such a pretty little thing like you gather dust here when you could provide us something wonderful, as I’m sure Alpha would agree.”
  847. >Grabbing the scroll, you open it up before quickly scanning its contents.
  848. >You laugh in triumph for a minute before teleporting away, back to Alpha.
  849. >This is going to be a discovery he will want to see firsthand.
  851. >Be Anon Gamma.
  852. >Be rather pickled.
  853. >You seem to have found yourself in a rather peculiar spot.
  854. >You appear to have found yourself a rather broken and mangled corpse.
  855. >Theta’s lifeless body lies on the floor in a small puddle of blood.
  856. >How tragic.
  857. >And pitiful, if you were to be so callous.
  858. “Now, what do we hold responsible for this, I wonder…”
  859. >You spend another minute looking at Theta, before shrugging it off.
  860. “At the very least, it does explain that horrible nausea we all felt. It was Theta’s death.”
  861. >You crouch down beside the body.
  862. “I can’t just leave this poor little clone here to rot.”
  863. >You place your hand on his chest, drawing upon arcane magics unknown to Equestria.
  864. “After all, I can’t let such useful chaos magic wither away. Not when it could be put to good use. But not as Theta anymore. No, that miserable fool can stay dead if he couldn’t deal with whatever stole life from him. We will learn from his mistake.”
  865. >With that said, Theta’s body began to glow red and black before breaking down into strips of pure chaos magic, flowing up your arm and into your body.
  866. >Feeling refreshed and full of energy, you crack your knuckles before teleporting back to Alpha.
  867. >Skipping with glee, you hop on over to Alpha, who was reading a scroll, while Zeta stood beside him.
  868. “So, Theta’s dead. Dunno what killed him, but that’s probably the reason for the wave of nausea. Don’t worry, I took Theta’s magic. Wow, I didn’t know I could feel this powerful, not even once our magic began to manifest.”
  869. >Alpha remains silent for a moment longer, before setting down the parchment he was reading and stood up from his chair, yet didn’t turn around.
  870. >”Powerful, you say? And you decided this yourself, without consideration for your leader?”
  871. >You hesitate for a minute, unsure of his meaning.
  872. “I am afraid I don’t understand, what are you talking about?”
  873. >Alpha turns around with a cheery look on his face.
  874. >”Oh, nothing, that’s all. Just speaking my mind. Oh, but could you come over here for a minute? I have need of you.”
  875. >You eagerly march up towards Alpha, ready for his next orders.
  876. >”Now in order for this to work, I need you to close your eyes and keep them closed. It’ll only take a second.”
  877. >A little apprehensive, but not unwilling, you close your eyes and await further instruction.
  878. >”Yes, just like that.”
  879. >You feel what you assume to be Alpha’s hand on your face.
  880. >There is a brief pause…
  881. >Maybe he is waiting for something—
  882. >You scream out in pain and terror as you feel your life force draining away to nothing.
  883. >But it doesn’t hurt for long, and soon you feel a numbness spread throughout your body.
  884. >Soon, you can’t feel anything at all…
  885. >
  886. >
  887. >
  888. >”I assume I don’t need to teach you the same lesson, Zeta?”
  889. >”N-no sir.”
  890. >”Good, good. You’ve been a good clone, you wouldn’t be so arrogant or foolish. Now come. Show me this mirror pool that you’ve found. I want to see its effects firsthand.”
  892. >Be Anon Epsilon.
  893. >Be handling Twilight Sparkle.
  894. >You just finished bandaging her head up.
  895. >Alpha appeared to have been quite ruthless to her, as evidenced by the extent of her injuries.
  896. >Still, Twilight has proven time and time again to be a rather resilient alicorn.
  897. >Her recovery is undeniable, yet you were focused on something different.
  898. >You open a box that Beta had given you shortly after you left Alpha with Twilight.
  899. >You take out a uniquely crafted ring, designed to nullify all forms of magic within an alicorn, with an additional function to boot.
  900. >Afixing the ring to the unconscious pony rewards you with the usual tinkling sound associated with the arcane.
  901. >And as for the secondary function of the ring…
  902. >Raising up a glass vial, you hold it just at the tip of Twilight’s horn before pressing a button on the side of the ring.
  903. >A viscous liquid begins to drip into the vial, glowing the magenta color unique to Twilight’s magic.
  904. >You hold the vial and the alicorn steady while the vial filled with the thick substance.
  905. >It takes some time, but eventually the vial is full enough to satisfy you, so you stuff a cork into it and set it aside.
  906. >Opening a cardboard box reveals several more vials, and as you grab another one, you settle yourself in as comfortable a position as you can.
  907. >You are going to be here for some time.
  909. >Be Anon Delta.
  910. >Be reading the tome that Zeta passed off to you.
  911. >It’s fascinating reading it; what these ponies consider evil forbidden magic seems rather tame in comparison to things that humans have done without magic.
  912. >Hell, you were expecting to read about ancient torture spells, evil magic that can be used to murder, and other similar curse magic.
  913. >Instead, you find yourself reading about transfiguration spells and magic that can change the dietary habits of ponies.
  914. >The only really evil spell that you could find was a mind control spell.
  915. >But apparently the idiot who named it decided that ‘Want It, Need It’ was a good name.
  916. >How silly.
  917. >After a good amount of time was spent shifting through spells that were likely only forbidden because Celestia is a pansy, you stumble upon the particular spell you were looking for.
  918. >You didn’t even need to read the whole passage in order to identify it; the spell was handwritten, or would it be hoof-written, in one of the blank pages near the end of the tome.
  919. >You could see the various scribbles and incantations that went into the spell’s development.
  920. >You pull out another sheet of paper and begin to copy down the necessary ingredients and incantations.
  921. >Deep down, you were kind of excited.
  922. >You had never had the opportunity to engage in a ritual before.
  923. >Finishing up your little document, you close the book and set it aside.
  924. >As you fold the paper and stuff it into your pocket, Alpha and Zeta pop into existence before you.
  925. >”Delta.”
  926. “Y-yes sir.”
  927. >”I assume you’ve found the ritual spell?”
  928. “Indeed, it’s all written down on this piece of paper here.”
  929. >Alpha is silent for a moment, before turning around and beckoning you to follow him.
  930. >You fall in line next to Zeta and follow Alpha as he approaches a side room in your little hideout.
  931. >Opening the door reveals Epsilon, who finishes his last vial of Twilight magic.
  932. >”All done?”
  933. >”Yessir.”
  934. >”Then follow me.”
  935. >Epsilon stands up, dusts himself off, before picking up a cardboard box full of vials laden with pure magic.
  936. >The four of you silently walk down a long hallway, before you find Beta, who was staring rather intently into a looking glass.
  937. >Alpha is the first to speak up and grab Beta’s attention.
  938. >”How goes the watch on the target?”
  939. >”Sir, the target remains in contact with others; extraction is currently far too risky to attempt.”
  940. >”Then hand the looking glass over to me; I shall continue to observe the target. I want you to take the other Anon clones and set up the ritual. We aren’t going to have much time to do this, so prepare yourselves accordingly. Call me once you have finished, and we can plan our extraction.”
  941. >”Of course sir.”
  942. >Beta hands Alpha the looking glass before glancing over the items in our possession.
  943. >”Alright you lot, come with me. We head for the Mirror Pool.”
  944. >As you begin to teleport away, you spare one last glance over at Alpha, who has engrossed himself in the looking glass.
  945. >The last thing you saw of him was the rather intense look on his face, as he stared into the mirror, which showed a very familiar pony, who appeared to be berating a rather solemn Discord.
  947. >Be Celestia.
  948. >Be in the hallway, waiting for Luna to finish with Discord.
  949. >Your concern for Twilight has taken center stage in your mind and you tremble with fear for your ex-students safety.
  950. >As you stand there, lost in thought, a familiar hominid hobbled into your view.
  951. “Anon?”
  952. >He looks up, with a grin adorning his face, though laced with… pain?
  953. “Anon, you were supposed to stay in—”
  954. >A glance down towards his hand stifles your objections as you notice the blood-soaked strip of cloth wrapped around his right hand.
  955. “Oh dear, what is this? What happened to you?”
  956. >You gallop over towards Anonymous, who chuckles weakly.
  957. >”I had an existential crisis for a minute. Should be good now.”
  958. >Your deadpan glare cuts his humor short and he looks away, abashed.
  959. >”I had a run-in with one of my clones. I didn’t exactly get away unscathed.”
  960. >With your magic, you unwrap the shoddily thrown together bandage, revealing the mangled hand within.
  961. >You gasp in disgust at the extent of the damage that afflicts Anon.
  962. “Oh my, do not worry Anonymous. Broken it may be, but my magic is strong enough to repair it. But this level of damage is indeed worrying.”
  963. >As you charge up a healing spell to heal his hand, Anon giggles softly to himself.
  964. >”If you think I look bad, you should see the other guy?”
  965. >You pause from your ministrations and look Anon in the eye.
  966. “And what did you do to him?”
  967. >The smile slowly dropped from his face.
  968. >Your tone is low, yet motherly.
  969. >”Anon?”
  970. >After a pause, Anon looked back into your eyes.
  971. >A chill ran down your spine.
  972. >Curiosity met lurid thoughts and looking deep into his eyes revealed a morbid truth, one which Anon was not ready nor willing to admit.
  973. >You weren’t sure how to respond.
  974. >How could you?
  975. >Equestria was a peaceful nation, violent crimes were few and far between.
  976. >But to take the life of another, even if they were only a clone.
  977. >It was unheard of.
  978. >Not since the days of Nightmare Moon’s banishment had such cruelty ever occurred on Equestrian soil.
  979. >You cut your musings short before resuming your healing spell.
  980. >Your emotions were affecting your judgment.
  981. >It was your responsibility as princess of the sun to see things objectively.
  982. >And from Anon’s barely noticeable shiver, you realize that Anon is going to need your help in this.
  983. >Your resolve strengthened and as you finished repairing the ripped muscle tissue and popping the fingers back into place, you straighten up and look Anon in the eye.
  984. “Anon, you can talk to me about these things. I can help you.”
  985. >He still looked unsure, that expressionless thousand-yard stare still adorning his face.
  986. >Any chance he had at replying to you was quickly dismissed when a loud shriek echoed from behind you.
  987. >In the room with Discord and Luna.
  988. >Oh no, please.
  989. >Not someone else.
  990. >You and Anon re-enter the room only to find an unconscious Discord.
  991. >You grab Discord with your magic and shake him furiously.
  992. “Wake up, Discord! Wake up! Where is my sister?!”
  993. >Anon desperately tried to loosen your hold on Discord, who was subject to a rather violently rude awakening, but your magic was too strong, your wrath too great.
  994. >”I don’t know! I just remember being knocked unconscious! Please stop shaking me, I’m awake now!”
  995. >As you drop Discord, you reflect on the new turn of events.
  996. >Anon tries to comfort you, but you are too far lost in thought for the considerate action to even register in your mind.
  997. >As much as you hated to admit it, the question of what happened was obvious.
  998. >Luna had been kidnapped.
  999. >And it was even more clear who the perpetrators were.
  1000. >But why?
  1001. >And where did they go?
  1002. >You sit there for a moment, unmoving and still, as the realization that your sister has been taken from you slowly sinks in.
  1003. >You had a thousand years to get used to this feeling, but it still hurts just as much now as it did when you first lost her.
  1004. >You steeled yourself; you would not lose your sister a second time.
  1005. >But how to tackle the situation…
  1006. >While you were contemplating your next course of action, Anon stewed in his own thoughts.
  1007. >Suddenly, he was struck with an idea.
  1008. >He taps you on your shoulder, and as you turn to face him, he reveals his plan on how to find Luna.
  1009. >It’s better than anything you can come up with right now.
  1010. >Turning towards Discord, who was still reeling from your rough handling, you order him to stand up.
  1011. >The tone your voice carried was authoritative; you hadn’t had to act so absolute in a long time, but you were not going to allow anything more to happen under your watch.
  1012. >No, you have stood idly by for far too long now.
  1013. >Now is the time for you to take action, and end this once and for all.
  1015. >Be Anon Alpha.
  1016. >Be overjoyed at recent developments.
  1017. >Beta, Zeta, Delta, and Epsilon have Princess Luna restrained, which is no minor feat.
  1018. >She bucked and jumped and twisted and turned, but the tenacity of the Anon clones was too great for Luna to handle all at once.
  1019. >They had taken the first opportunity they could to inhibit her magic and her flight, now they have her wrapped in heavy chains.
  1020. >The five of you teleported to the Mirror Pool with your prize in tow.
  1021. >You had originally planned to make an army of Anon clones, but after some experimentation, you’ve come to a rather unfortunate realization.
  1022. >The Mirror Pool creates copies, yes, but those copies are completely devoid of magic.
  1023. >Not only that but the Mirror Pool can’t make copies from things that are pure magic in origin.
  1024. >Only the original Anon could make clones from the Mirror Pool, but that option was not worth the time and effort.
  1025. >Instead, you’ve come up with something else.
  1026. >Something far more sinister.
  1027. >And you were careful in making sure you had everything that you needed in order to make things work out just the way you anticipated.
  1028. >First, you needed the book from the Archives, with its dark magic and rituals.
  1029. >Next, you required as much magic as you could siphon from the most plentiful source of magic as you could – Twilight.
  1030. >Then, you needed the Mirror Pool, such that you could create a foundation for your creation.
  1031. >All of these things, when brought together, will bring about the conditions you need.
  1032. >For a total takeover of the world.
  1033. >Yeah, yeah, get your giggles out of the way.
  1034. >You all won’t be laughing once all your waifus are dead.
  1035. “Restrain her in front of the pool. Then get ready for the clone.”
  1036. >The clones bring Luna, despite her struggling, to the edge of the Mirror Pool and force her to look into it.
  1037. >It takes a moment, but eventually, a blue alicorn clone begins to emerge from the watery depths.
  1038. >Just as she steps onto dry land and opens her eyes for the first time, Beta and Delta grab her and force her to the floor.
  1039. >You pull out a potion jar, which you have filled with Twilight’s magic as well as other, far more sinister, ingredients, resulting in a pitch black concoction that bubbled angrily.
  1040. “Fac malo regnant.”
  1041. >The concoction’s bubbling increased.
  1042. “Obscurent eum tenebræ absoluta regula.”
  1043. >The cavern filled with haunting sounds and ghastly noises from origins unknown to you.
  1044. “Lunam mater est qui suscitet eam.”
  1045. >Beta forces open the mouth of Luna’s clone, who screeched in horror, tears pouring from her eyes as the real Luna wept with her eyes firmly shut.
  1046. “Fac malo regnant.”
  1047. >With that said, you jam the mouth of the potion, now sparkling white and purple, and force the Luna clone to drink.
  1048. >You tilt her head upwards so that every drop of the cursed potion could go down her throat, plugging her nose in order to ensure that she drunk it.
  1049. >Once the potion had been fully consumed, you stepped back and admired your work.
  1050. >The Luna clone gagged and coughed at the rough treatment before she dropped to the ground and began spasming on the cold hard cavern floor.
  1051. >Your smile could not be wider nor more genuine as the potion began to take hold of the clone.
  1052. >You could only imagine how happy you would have been had there not been the iconic flash of white light signaling teleportation behind you.
  1053. >You growled in anger before turning around and finding yourself humbled at the sight.
  1054. >Celestia, Discord, the original Anon were standing there, all of whom looked rather wrathful.
  1055. “Oh dear. This is an unfortunate turn of events. You weren’t supposed to be here—Urk!”
  1056. >A quick tackle by Anon was enough to cut you off midsentence, and as you two rolled off trading blows, Celestia and Discord made their way towards the two Lunas.
  1057. >Through the corner of your eyes, you could see the clone Luna, whose black coat now shined gloriously.
  1058. >Just a little bit longer and she’ll—
  1059. >No…
  1060. >No!
  1061. >NO!
  1062. >Those two, they…
  1063. >They…
  1064. >My poor Nightmare, what did they do to you?
  1065. >You hadn’t been back for but a moment, but then they had to go and…
  1066. >You break free from Anon before rushing past Celestia and Discord, who were too busy dealing with the other Anon clones to notice your rush, and you drop to your knees in front of the remains of your beautiful Nightmare.
  1067. >You were so close, but then those two…
  1068. >You underestimated their resolve.
  1069. >You never predicted they would make such a call, but it matters not.
  1070. >You’re beloved Nightmare was taken from you, and at the worst possible time.
  1071. >All that remains of her is a puddle of black ooze, blasted so strongly by a mixture of Celestia’s harmonious magic and Discord’s chaos magic that it lost all cohesion.
  1072. >Your voice rang hollow.
  1073. “How did you even find us? How could you have possibly known?”
  1074. >Anon grinned at you.
  1075. >”You never disconnected me from the mental link that we created at the beginning of all of this. We heard you mention the mirror pool, and from there it was as simple as teleporting there.
  1076. >Ah, of course.
  1077. >That does make sense, in hindsight.
  1078. >Though it still stings all the same.
  1079. >As you lamented your turn of events, you failed to notice the black sludge before you.
  1080. >You didn’t notice how it crawled towards you, slowly yet determined.
  1081. >It wasn’t until it latched onto your hand that you realized that things were not over yet.
  1082. >With a triumphant shout of glee, you dive into the pool of sludge and let the ooze mold over you, becoming one with you.
  1083. >Pretty soon, Alpha was no more.
  1084. >But Nightmare had been blasted to sludge, so she was no more too.
  1085. >Then, who were you?
  1086. >Hmmm…
  1087. >
  1088. >
  1089. >
  1090. >How about…
  1091. >Omega.
  1093. >Be Anon.
  1094. >Watch in abject horror as black sludge coursed around Alpha’s body, breaking it down into the muck that was once the Luna clone.
  1095. >It was horrifying to witness; it was everything you could to not dry heave right then and there.
  1096. >But your revulsion would increase astronomically as the black slime began to bubble and coalesce into what appeared to be a skeletal system.
  1097. >A bastardization of the human form it was.
  1098. >As the figure formed muscles and organs, it soon ceased its transformation.
  1099. >What stood before you was not an Anon clone.
  1100. >It couldn’t be one.
  1101. >It barely looked human.
  1102. >What should’ve been human skin was instead replaced by a black tar-like substance that bubbled and steamed as though it were boiling, yet the creature showed no signs of pain or suffering.
  1103. >Even parts of the monster’s skeletal structure poked through the wretched being’s sludge-like body, most prominently around the shoulder blades and the top of the forehead, giving the appearance of intimidating horns and shoulder guards.
  1104. >The being’s hair was replaced with a purple-ish wispy, steamy gas; not quite translucent enough to think the being was bald but definitely see-through.
  1105. >The monster’s hands twisted into long thin talons with razor-sharp points, and his feet were similarly mutated.
  1106. >The monster stood up before rolling its shoulders and flexing its new fingers.
  1107. >Sufficiently satisfied, the beast turned around to face everyone, who had gone completely still in awe and shock, beholding the creature’s birth.
  1108. >And the demon’s face…
  1109. >You wish it had been as different as the rest of its disgusting body, yet it remained familiar and human.
  1110. >The only major difference here, barring some larger canines and forked tongue, was the creature’s eyes, which were slits much like a cat’s and colored a brilliant shade of teal.
  1111. >The was-human leered at its captivated audience with an evil sneer.
  1112. >”Come now, don’t tell me you’ve never seen a birth before?”
  1113. >You didn’t know what you expected from the being’s voice.
  1114. >Maybe something deep and gravelly, or something more akin to your own voice.
  1115. >Instead, it was rather soft and calm, yet it held far more subtle malice and contempt than Alpha’s did.
  1116. >It sounded rather feminine, yet it was clearly different than Luna’s voice.
  1117. >The monster raised its hands, clearly unconcerned or nervous about its position.
  1118. >”I will admit, this is much more… unique than I had intended. I hadn’t even intended to be reborn like this, but I shall not gripe about the hand fate has dealt me.”
  1119. >The demon lazily drifted her eyes over towards the Anon clones, who appeared just as terrified and confused as you did.
  1120. >”Thank you for your service. However…”
  1121. >The being’s eyes flashed with magical power.
  1122. >”Your assistance and continued existence is no longer needed. I shall be taking what is now rightfully mine now.”
  1123. >With a snap of the creature’s talons, the Anon clones shrieked in pain before dissolving into pure chaotic magic.
  1124. >The new-found eldritch abomination made a “come hither” gesture and the magic that once made up the Anon clones flew over to the creature, before being absorbed into the tar-like skin of the beast.
  1125. >It shuddered in obvious delight, eyes fluttering, before allowing a rather lewd sounding moan to escape.
  1126. >”Oh yes, now that is just… heavenly.”
  1127. >The demon turned to you, smirking with glee.
  1128. >”Oh, don’t look so shocked. This may be unexpected, but certainly not unfavorable. Don’t tell me you’re scared of little ol’ me?”
  1129. >It giggled in a manner that could only be described as sensually.
  1130. >”How does that saying go again? ‘Humans fear that which they do not understand’? I can assure you, even if you knew everything about me…”
  1131. >With a snap of her fingers, the monster vanished in a flash of black light.
  1132. >Almost immediately afterward, you felt a heavy pressure surround you, which caused you to drop to your knees.
  1133. >The demon’s teal eyes and bubbling skin appeared in your peripherals.
  1134. >”…you’d still be just as frightened as you are now. But I shall indulge you, if only slightly.”
  1135. >It walked around until it stood directly ahead of you, before reaching a clawed hand down and yanking your chin upward in order for your eyes to meet its.
  1136. >”You can call me… Omega.”
  1137. >Suddenly, a bright blue blade pierced Omega’s diaphragm, causing it to gasp out in surprise.
  1138. >Tilting your head slightly revealed Princess Luna, who was now free from her bindings and glowing with magic.
  1139. >Omega turned slightly, slack-jawed.
  1140. >”You impaled me!”
  1141. >Omega looked down at the offending weapon, before poking the end of it.
  1142. >”Now Luna… what would possess you to do this?”
  1143. >Reaching around, Omega yanked out the sword before it vanished, Luna having ceased the spell.
  1144. >”Thy cursed form shall disgrace mine eyes no longer! May you find yourself judged in the afterlife for your…”
  1145. >Luna trailed off, the sight of skin and bone melding back together rendering her speechless.
  1146. >Omega maniacally laughed at her reaction.
  1147. >”Well, I must say that I do appreciate a mare with a spine! Though ineffectual it may be, I recognize your willingness to do the deed, Luna!”
  1148. >With a grin adorning its face, Omega, quick as a bullet, spun and with a mighty kick, planted her heel into Luna’s chest.
  1149. >With a resounding crack, Luna was sent flying across the cavern, flying clear over the Mirror Pool, before landing hard on the other side.
  1150. “Luna!”
  1151. >You cried out, watching your dear friend sent flying.
  1152. >Your rage subdued your fear, and with a mighty roar, you launch your fist into Omega’s back, around the hips where the spine should be.
  1153. >However, instead of the sound of bone breaking, you are instead met with a disgusting squelch as your hand sinks into Omega’s body.
  1154. >As you try to pry yourself free of the nasty prison that your fist found itself trapped in, Omega looked over its shoulder at you, with a small smile on your face.
  1155. >”Anon! Striking the spine… you were gonna try and paralyze me! Make me a paraplegic! Unluckily for you, my body is more than capable of shielding itself from your puny attacks. And even if you were successful, I would have simply reformed the damaged tissue as I did with my chest not a moment ago. Come now.”
  1156. >The liquid that functioned as Omega’s skin crawled up your hand before stopping at your wrist.
  1157. >”Since you never had any hope of beating me in combat, you won’t mind if I do this, won’t you?”
  1158. >With a dramatic twist of its hips, your wrist snaps like a branch, and as you double over with your hand clutched close to your chest, screaming in pain, Omega smiles cruelly, admiring the work it did.
  1159. >”My my, my parents are so amazing. Both of whom are willing to do whatever it takes; I sure am glad I inherited that from the both of you.”
  1160. >Omega stretched out an open hand, which was quickly filled with the same bubbling fluid that coated its body, before taking the crude form of a blade.
  1161. >”Don’t worry. I am not needlessly cruel. I shall end your life swiftly and painlessly. Before I take over this accursed realm and send it spiraling into the fires of destruction and madness.”
  1162. >Omega raised its sword high, only to be hit by a blast of magic, sending the demon flying.
  1163. >You turned around and saw Luna standing by Celestia, both of whom had sizzling horns from the powerful attack.
  1164. >Omega, instead of slamming against the wall, latched on to it like a spider, before quickly and inhumanly scaling the wall in a manner you’d see in a horror movie.
  1165. >Celestia and Luna take flight and begin taking pot shots at the wall-crawling abomination, which you scuttled off to the side nursing your broken hand.
  1166. >As proud as you were, even you were able to tell when you were outmatched.
  1167. >This was something to leave to the alicorns with their powerful magic.
  1168. >All you can do now is try to get out of here.
  1169. >You duck under a nearby crag, only to bump into a rather testy chimera.
  1170. “Discord? What the hell are you doing here?! Why aren’t you fighting that monster?!”
  1171. >Discord turned to you, with apprehension in his eyes.
  1172. >”I was kinda gonna maybe almost… not do that.”
  1173. “What?!”
  1174. >”I know, I know. That sounds kind of bad, but hear me out! See, if Celestia and Luna win, they might just forget that I was a part of this because they had to deal with this Omega thing. If Omega wins, I’ll just hide away for a century or two, see if it’s died of natural causes and if it has, then boom! I’m in the clear! Why are you looking at me like that?”
  1175. >Clearly, your seething rage-filled look does naught to intimidate the god of chaos.
  1176. >Growling, you grab Discord by the neck with your good hand and bring him closer to you.
  1177. “Discord, if you do not go out there and help them fight, I swear I’ll—”
  1178. >”You’ll what?”
  1179. >Discord rips your hand off of himself.
  1180. >”You seem to forget who you’re talking to, boy. I am not some puny pony that you can intimidate with your “apex predator” and “meat-eating monster” shtick. I am an all-powerful spirit of chaos. You would do well to remember that.”
  1181. “What I’ll remember is how you sound like the whiny sniveling brat that you are. You’re so scared of punishment that you are willing to doom all of Equestria to the hands of this monster and for what? What punishment would warrant this level of apprehension? If I knew you were such a fucking pansy I would’ve never bothered with your sorry ass before all of this went down. It’s honestly rather difficult to look at you, considering how much of a pussy you’re being right now.”
  1182. >Discord, unamused by your little rant, remains steadfast in his refusal to fight.
  1183. >”If it had just remained those little clones of yours, I would’ve been perfectly willing to jump in. But now that the situation has become far more dire, my whole reformation could be called into question now. And if you were smart, you’d fear for your life too. Your head will be right next to mine of the chopping block regardless of what happens here. But by all means, you can stay here with the princesses, and if you win, congrats. But I’m not sticking around and risking getting turned to stone again if you do. But for what it’s worth. Good luck. It was fun while it lasted. Consider our partnership terminated, effective immediately.”
  1184. >And with that said and a snap of his fingers, Discord vanished into thin air, leaving you alone behind the rock.
  1185. >It takes the sound of a large crash to shake you out from your stupor, and as you peek out from behind the boulder, you see the beaten and bloody forms of Celestia and Luna lying before Omega, who appeared as uninjured as ever.
  1186. >You retreat from the edge of the rock, your breathing becoming more labored.
  1187. “Okay, okay, okay, everything’s fine, everything will be fine. You’ll get through this, no worries.”
  1188. >”Anon, where did you go?”
  1189. >Omega sang out in a singsongy voice.
  1190. >”Come out, come out, where ever you are! Or don’t. I’ll find you soon enough either way.”
  1191. >Okay Anon, you have no time.
  1192. >You gotta think.
  1193. >How do you get out of this?
  1194. >How can you get out of this?
  1195. >The sound of bare feet on the cold hard ground grows more distant.
  1196. >That’s good, it means Omega doesn’t know where you are.
  1197. >But they were right, it’s only a matter of time before they find you.
  1198. >So you have to think of some way out of this before they do.
  1199. >Come on, Anonymous, think!
  1200. >There has to be something in your repertoire that can save you.
  1201. >Something, anything!
  1202. >You dig through your pockets with your good hand, but only find the laser pointer that you swiped from Theta’s body.
  1203. >You snort in frustration.
  1204. >It’s not like you’ll ever get the chance to portal Omega out of here, they’re way too fast for that to work.
  1205. >If only…
  1206. >Wait a minute…
  1207. >No…
  1208. >Could it be possible that—
  1209. >”Anon!”
  1210. >Oh no!
  1211. >They are so much closer now than you thought they were!
  1212. >They are right by the rock keeping you out of sight!
  1213. >You have to take the chance, whatever the risk may be!
  1214. >You don’t have any time left, nor any other choice.
  1215. >Quickly, before it sees you!
  1216. >You pull out your laser pointer, before pointing it at the far wall.
  1217. >Please work!
  1218. >You shut your eyes before clicking on the laser pointer.
  1219. >
  1220. >
  1221. >
  1222. >Nothings happened to you…
  1223. >Slowly, you open your eyes and turn to your left.
  1224. >You see the intimidating form of Omega… not looking at you.
  1225. >Rather, their attention was focused rather intently on the red dot adorning the wall in front of you.
  1226. >You don’t even allow yourself to breathe for fear Omega might see you.
  1227. >As they crept along, gaze transfixed on the red dot, you thank your lucky stars.
  1228. >Given that Nightmare Moon was still a pony, it was reasonable that Omega inherited the universal weakness of ponies to laser red dots.
  1229. >But there is no telling how long Omega will entertain the red dot for.
  1230. >You slowly stand up and backpedal towards the still forms of the alicorns, whilst keeping Omega’s gaze locked onto the red dot on the wall.
  1231. >You feel as though you were choking through your fear, but you manage to move silently and keep slow and silent breaths.
  1232. >Eventuall, after what was probably the most grueling two minutes of your life, you find yourself among the two alicorns, unconscious and unmoving.
  1233. >Omega was still focused on the red dot, having scaled the wall in a bid to catch it.
  1234. >You reach down a hand and vigorously shake Luna in an attempt to wake her.
  1235. “Luna, I would really appreciate it if you would wake up right now.”
  1236. >Your voice was barely above a whisper, but you dared not to speak any louder.
  1237. >Slowly, Luna opened her eyes as she regained consciousness.
  1238. >”W-what is—”
  1239. “Don’t look up right now. I have the red dot out, and it is the only thing keeping Omega from slaughtering us all. I won’t have you falling under its spell as well. I need the two of you in order to beat it.”
  1240. >Luna takes heed and keeps her eyes pointed downwards, away from Omega and the red dot.
  1241. “Please wake your sister up. We are likely only going to have one shot at this and we are going to need every bit of luck and power we can get in order to pull this off.”
  1242. >While Luna attempted to rouse Celestia from her unconscious state, you redoubled your efforts on entertaining Omega, who was now on the ceiling, almost directly above you.
  1243. >Your uncertainty and fear are palpable, but your resolve keeps your hand steady and your nerves straight.
  1244. >Just a little while longer Anon, you can do this.
  1245. >As Celestia brings herself to her hooves, you guide Omega down to the wall closest to you and the princesses.
  1246. “Alright, so here is my plan. When I give the signal, I’m going to very quickly activate the portal setting on my laser pointer and create a portal on the wall where Omega is latched on to. It will likely stun them, which is a moment we can use to our advantage. Celestia, Luna, I want you to blast it into the portal with everything you have. On my mark, okay?”
  1247. >The alicorns nod, their gazes cast downward, yet no less steeled.
  1248. “Okay…”
  1249. >You take a few breaths to compose yourself and steady your hand.
  1250. “Three… Two… One…”
  1251. >You switch on the portal setting and as fast as you possibly can, draw a circle around the eldritch creature.
  1252. “NOW!!!”
  1253. >Celestia and Luna rear up and fire two massive spires of magic, which crash against Omega, sending the monster tumbling into the portal.
  1254. >You hear Omega’s shrill scream of wrath echo throughout the cavern.
  1255. >Before it has the chance to escape the hellscape, you shut off the portal, cutting Omega’s cry of anger off pre-emptively.
  1256. >A moment of silence prevails before you drop to your knees and release a sigh of relief.
  1257. >Celestia and Luna, both of whom are panting from the exertion from such tremendous magic output drop to their knees similarly.
  1258. >It is done.
  1259. >You have won.
  1260. >All of the clones are dealt with.
  1261. >Omega is gone and locked away in the hellscape, which shall be its prison for all eternity.
  1262. >As you weakly bring yourself to your feet, you can’t help but feel that you were missing something.
  1263. >That you were forgetting something vital.
  1264. >And in that very moment, you felt a chill run down your spine.
  1265. >You remember now.
  1266. >As the familiar tinking of magic being used fills the air, you come to a rather horrifying conclusion, one which chilled you to your core.
  1267. >”You didn’t think I’d fall that easily, did you?”
  1268. >Omega peeked into the cavern through a portal of their own creation.
  1269. >”All it takes is a portal spell to go between here and the hellscape. That’s how Discord designed the laser pointers to work, and that’s how Twilight managed to escape it. And I am more than capable of replicating it.”
  1270. >A mad cackle resonates throughout the cave, its reverberations striking fear deep into you.
  1271. >It isn’t over.
  1272. >You’ve lost.
  1273. >Celestia and Luna are far too fatigued to conjure up another blast and you are certain that Omega would not be tricked by the red dot a second time.
  1274. >”You sly dog! I would never have guessed that I would be so easily distracted by that infernal red dot! But rest assured, it won’t happen again!”
  1275. >Omega leaned forward, with their upper body now through the portal and out of the hellscape, clearly taking their sweet time getting out of the hellscape, enjoying the looks of despair you and the princesses were giving them.
  1276. >”But I will acknowledge how close you came! Trying to seal me in the hellscape that we created, talk about poetic justice! Unfortunately, that’s now how this story is going to end.”
  1277. >Omega resumed their cackling fit, their eyes gleaming with malicious intent.
  1278. >”No, this is the part where I rip you all to shreds and consume your carcasses! This is my victory prize! This is the end for you—”
  1279. >Suddenly, Omega’s portal spell ceased, which severed Omega in two.
  1280. >You and the princesses could only stare at the upper half of Omega, who appeared just as surprised as you were.
  1281. >What was happening?
  1282. >Why did—
  1283. >Realization hit you, and judging by the look on their face, Omega realized it too.
  1284. “You ran out of magic.”
  1285. >”N-no, I—”
  1286. “You were only ever given a set amount of magic, just enough to make my clones. And you used it all fighting the princesses. When your portal failed, it meant that you just used up the last bit of your magic.”
  1287. >Omega’s face morphed into one of panic.
  1288. >”That’s impossible! I-I am mighty! I am the end! I am OMEGA!”
  1289. “And now, you are dead.”
  1290. >Omega began groaning, as the bubbling tar that made up their body began dripping off of them, returning to the pile of sludge that they came from in the first place.
  1291. >”I was so close… Anything I wanted would’ve become reality… You’ve taken it from me… I hate you for this, Anon! I hate that you brought me to this, Anon! I hope you BURN for this, Anon!”
  1292. >And thus were the final words of Omega, as they returned to the ooze they were created from.
  1294. >Be one month later.
  1295. >Be Anon.
  1296. >”Catch the dot, Anon!”
  1297. >Luna stands by with a big smirk on her face as she uses a laser pointer to project a red dot on the ground in front of you.
  1298. >”You want a shorter sentence, right Anon? You want us to forgive you, Anon? Just catch the red dot then! We will let you go free once you’ve caught it!”
  1299. >You groan as you chase the red dot.
  1300. >You didn’t have much of a choice otherwise.
  1301. >After Omega melted and the princesses regained their strength, they began their work, undoing the damage that had been wrought by your clones and Discord.
  1302. >And you, though you’d rather not point fingers at yourself.
  1303. >The princesses got Twilight to a hospital, where she made a full recovery from her injuries.
  1304. >Luckily, she was understanding and didn’t blame you for what happened to her.
  1305. >As for the rest of Twilight’s friends, who had been forced to tumble around in the hellscape for some time, well, they, much like the princesses, were less understanding.
  1306. >It was because of Twilight’s insistence that you were spared jail time.
  1307. >Instead, you were sentenced to 475 years of community service as punishment for your actions.
  1308. >Don’t ask how you were supposed to serve 475 years, you really didn’t want to know.
  1309. >But it’s much better than what happened to Discord, at least you think.
  1310. >He managed to evade capture for quite some time, but eventually, the princesses found him napping in Chaosville.
  1311. >The poor guy woke up to see two rather upset alicorns glaring him down.
  1312. >You didn’t exactly know what happened to him, just that he pleaded to not be turned back to stone.
  1313. >But you have to say, ever since he was given his punishment, the craters on the moon seemed to make a rather familiar shape…
  1314. >Eh, probably a coincidence.
  1315. >Luna has taken full charge of your punishment.
  1316. >She confiscated your laser pointer and created a spell that prevented her from falling subject to its effects.
  1317. >She passes the time by baiting you with promises of a shorter sentence, so long as you can successfully capture the red dot.
  1318. >You think it’s her way of punishing you for hurting her feelings.
  1319. >You were made well aware of the impact your actions had on your friendship with the princess of the night, and she hasn’t given you the opportunity to forget it.
  1320. >At the very least, she was able to ‘recover from the emotional trauma’ you caused her to feel enough in order to torment you.
  1321. >I suppose humans and ponies are similar in that regard; they both have strange ways of showing that they care about one another.
  1322. >As you make another mad dash after the red dot, you reflect on the events as they happened.
  1323. >It’s kind of ludicrous, thinking back on it.
  1324. >All of Equestria almost got destroyed, all because you decided to fuck around with a laser pointer.
  1325. >Who would’ve thought it possible?
  1326. >Clearly, you hadn’t.
  1327. >Yet here we are.
  1328. >Life’s funny that way, isn’t it?
  1329. >Sometimes it’s the small things, the stuff we take for granted, that holds the most weight, later on down the road.
  1330. >Yeah, things didn’t exactly turn out peachy for you, but everybody is okay.
  1331. >Everybody is fine now, and that’s really the most anybody can ask for.
  1332. >And even though you aren’t exactly liking your punishment, it is fair.
  1333. >You can live with this.
  1334. >That’s the best way this story could end.
  1335. >And you wouldn’t have it any other way.
  1337. The End
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