"Former fuccboi here. My credentials? 3 ex girlfriends, and body count somewhere > 10. I lost count at 10 when I discovered Tinder and all that. Chinese lah, Indian lah, Malay lah, guai mui lah, i tried them all lah k?

Come, I give you guys tips how to kao lui since everyone keeps confessing their love and shit. I also teach you girls how to kao zai also. Simplified and exemplified for you noobs. For guys in one post, for girls in a separate post because otherwise its a little too long.

To kao lui, you need skills of a man, not LoL DotA PUBG simi lj champion anime king, k? You need to be 7 9 sibeh lj good at faking it, or you really need to have it. Have what leh? Confidence, and the guns to back you up. Girls don't have standards one, its a big fat lie. Okay la, not exactly. Got standards one, but its not as stringent as you might think. Women are emotional creatures, as men are logical ones. So number, 1. Know what to say and when to say it. This one, is the most important skill but, its something only you can figure out. Put yourself in their shoes. You have to plan things for good dramatic effect. For example lah ok, all you noobs are guilty of this la k. Confessing out of nowhere. This shit? Too heavy for your potential bb. Imagine if someone comes up to you out of nowhere, and says, "i have loved you since UPSR when you borrowed me your eraser. Since then I cannot look at other girls because I always see your face in my dream" But what if you don't even know this person? Know means you have spent a lot of time with this person and know them in and out, k? Not someone you know of. Learn the difference. Obviously the girl is going to be like, “wts? Who dis creepy ass loser? I dun even remember him.” Tak jadi bro. Lose liao. You dun goofed, ya dingus. You need to know who is within your reach and who isn’t. Do you have the rapport with this person to take it past being friends? Please ask yourself that before you try to be a Casanova k? Logic and social awareness be your bff here. Don’t try your luck with girls you can’t casually ask out to a movie. Do try your luck with girls you have known for at least a while. K? Confess when you know she likes you for sure. If you unsure, keep moving forward with her and see what happens. Chances are you are unsure because she is still unsure of you. Give it time. You will know when she likes you, and you can feel it. Not in your kukujiao but in your heart. The trick is to actually like her. Not pretend. Be patient also.

Number 2. Pls! Pls! Don’t say dumb shit. You guys are also guilty of this. What is dumb shit? Let me explain because you all are dumb shits. Pro tip: Stop thinking with your dick. K. Dumb shit is anything that would the make the girl feel offended, disgusted, or hurt. One of the most cb sohai things you can do while aspiring to be the master of pussy is providing unwanted opinions on anything about her. Who tf are you to say, “Actually arh, i think arh, you look better when you wear short skirts” bitch wtf? Congrats, you have the Holy Trinity of idiot. Offended, disgusted and hurt, all in one. Imagine if the girl says, “Actually arh, i think arh, you were more shuai ge when your IQ was 130 and not 75”. What would would you say? Fuck off lah, right? Goes both ways. K? Don’t say dumb shit. Do say not dumb shit. Tell her you think she will go far in life, tell her she has a big heart, tell her shes amazing at something she does. Don’t fucking say anything that if said to you, would make you feel bad. This is common sense. Apparently some of you lack it.

Number 3. Take care of your image. If you want to kao this sweet, cute bb girl, why tf would she want to be with some noob kia? Exam also noob. Physical appearance also noob. Talking skill also noob. You noob la, that’s why you can’t kao lui. There is no trick here to not be noob. The only way to actually succeed is to put in the effort and work on yourself. Actually become smarter, more buff, more handsome (do skincare or style your hair or smth) or do better in some area you are lacking. This is the universal law for anything and everything in life. Kao lui included. Girls put a lot of thought and effort in themselves too. No one is born pro. K? If you say, “Harh? Why can’t she love for who I am?” Eh noob, who are you? You are nobody unless you make yourself somebody. K? That’s just facts. How you choose to portray yourself is linear and directly proportional to what kind of girl you can get. Girls with 5k or 500k followers on IG will go for guys who complement their image. Girls who are going to become doctor will go for guys who are smart. Girls who go the gym will go for guys who are fit. Look in the mirror, and transform your kukujiao into a girl. The girl version of you is the type of girl you can get. Graduate liao.

Get off your ass and go make yourself worth her attention!"