POSTED: JULY 22
--{Graphics}---
☐ You forget what reality is
☐ Beautiful
☐ Good
☑ Decent
☐ Bad
☐ Don‘t look too long at it
☐ Paint.exe

---{Gameplay}---
☐ Addictive like heroin
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☐ It‘s just gameplay
☑ Mehh
☐ Starring at walls is better
☐ Just don‘t

---{Audio}---
☐ Eargasm
☐ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Not too bad
☑ Bad
☐ Earrape

---{Audience}---
☐ Kids
☐ Teens
☑ Adults
☐ Average Solitare Players

---{PC Requirements}---
☐ Check if you can run paint
☐ Potato
☐ Decent
☐ Fast
☑ Rich boiiiiii
☑ Ask NASA if they have a spare computer

---{Difficulity}---
☐ Just press ‚A‘
☑ Easy
☐ Significant brain usage
☐ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

---{Grind}---
☑ Nothing to grind
☐ Only if u care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isnt necessary to progress
☐ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ You‘ll need a second life for grinding

---{Story}---
☑ If you want story, then go read a book.
☐ Text or Audio floating around
☐ Average depends an DLC
☐ Good
☐ Lovley
☐ It‘ll replace your life

---{Game Time}---
☑ Long enough for a cup of tea
☐ Short
☐ Average
☐ Long
☐ To infinity and beyond

---{Price}---
☐ There is no „price“
☐ Worth the price
☐ If u have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended
☑ You could also just burn your money

---{Bugs}---
☐ Never heard of
☐ Minor bugs
☐ Can get annoying
☑ Assassin‘s Creed: Unity
☐ Get a bug spray. Or more. A lot more. Or maybe a flamethrower. Or a nuke.

Final score: 4/10

Summary: The game's hype has utterly♥♥♥♥♥raped any chance of redemption from this train wreck. The game was in development for ages, looked amazing, had really nice graphics and was genuinely interesting to see footage of. It was so popular pre-release that♥♥♥♥♥♥already had Rule 34 porn made of the big-♥♥♥♥♥♥d ♥♥♥♥♥♥ faced demon chick that'll hunt you down. It was THAT hyped.

...And then release came around, and it was complete nonsense. Imagine 50 shades of gray, and you pay for all 50 shades but you only get 25 shades and the other 25 are just randomly missing. Yeah, that's how bad this game is upon release.

I managed just over an hour of this trash heap before I felt a genuine pang of wasted time and effort, like a spidey sense for when what I'm doing is a complete and utter waste of my time.
This game relies SOLELY on the shock and awe of the almost comical amount of gore in the game. There's SO MUCH of it that after the first 5 minutes, it becomes almost annoying back-image squirming and interruptive, looped screams of agony that are all the same throughout most of the game. The graphics were set as almost next-gen, but instead you get more like condensed Rainbow Six Siege graphics, with a lot more gore.

Animations are♥♥♥♥♥♥poor, choppy and unrealistic, the people you find all look the same, like the same faces but with beard/no beard. Jump scares are cheap and harmless. The game is unbelievably easy, with visual AND audible queues when the big bad busty ♥♥♥♥♥ of blood and baby torture comes lumbering in your general direction.

The puzzles are obnoxious and hard for the sake of being hard. Not like it just takes brain power to figure them out, that'd be cool. No, they're as if an autistic chipmunk on Monster Energy drink ran all over the place, making a labyrinth at random and placing items you need to complete a broken up body all over the place in it. It's pretty much the cheap kind of 'do you dare continue?' challenges that any mildly seasoned horror game player is utterly immune to and will charge headlong through and be not at all impressed. The entire game is just pathetic and a sorry excuse for the epic classic that it was trying to portray itself to be during the hype period.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to refund this garbage so I can find something else that's actually worth playing.