Winghorse-Riding Girlboy x Musclehead Manlady C-A

Bigwood Mar 5th, 2013 39 Never
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  1. [20:40:43] <Ash> WELL
  2. [20:43:50] * Ash is watering his pet Pegasi (Which he has regardless of his current class and which he only rides if/when he promotes to Valkyrie), and brushing it. Ashley is thin and dainty, with shocking blonde hair in a short haircut he meant to look manly but ends up looking like an adorable pixie cut. He tries to carry himself like a macho man, even as he's rubbing lavender soap into the pegasus' neck.
  3. [20:45:50] <Ash> "Isn't Thor the best pegasus in the whole wide world. Yes he is! Yes he is. I wuv my widdle pegasus sweetiehoneypoopoo."
  4. [20:46:24] * Ash makes kissy-noises, thinking that he's alone. The Pegasus seems satisfied with the babytalk.
  5. [20:47:28] <Ash> Mostly because it seems like a thing a pegasus should like and he's a normal pegasus, yup.
  6. [20:49:16] <Ash> (Feel free to come in any time. I could post more embarrassingly candid moments if you like :B)
  7. [20:50:39] <Haldis> "Sweetiehoneypoopoo?" The voice, probably gruffer than Ash's, comes from his backside, where a tall and toned soldier stands slightly confused. Really, she's mostly confused about why he's bathing the pegasus when it's just going to get dirty again, probably with blood.
  8. [20:52:08] <Ash> "HNNG! I mean. THOR KILL! SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDER! BLOOD AND SKULLS! Nope! Nobody here but a warrior, giving his trusty steed a much needed grooming."
  9. [20:52:32] * Ash turns to see that it's Haldis, "Oh, a woman? Be careful!"
  10. [20:53:01] <Ash> The Pegasus seems strangely happy with all that viking talk :3
  11. [20:53:57] <Haldis> "...Are you warning me or the horse?"
  12. [20:55:07] <Ash> "Well, Thor's... special. He doesn't much like women. They make him upset," says Ash, "No matter how tough someone is, a hoof in the face isn't much fun."
  13. [20:56:53] * Haldis stares Thor in the eye. "What have I done to offend you?"
  14. [20:58:43] <Ash> "It's nothing like that. It's a pegasus thing. Or... at least it's almost a pegasus thing... Er... you may want to move your nose away from his mouth."
  15. [21:01:47] <Haldis> She takes a few steps back. "Is he a threat to our own army during combat?"
  16. [21:02:48] <Ash> "Well of course not. In combat he knows to follow orders. Still, He won't let women ride him. He
  17. [21:02:59] <Ash> 's been that way ever since he was a foal."
  18. [21:03:23] <Ash> "Almost got him put out to pasture, since there almost wasn't a rider for him."
  19. [21:03:23] <BlendedSolosis> kamen rider
  20. [21:04:33] <Haldis> "I can imagine hard have any women ever tried to ride him?"
  21. [21:04:51] <Haldis> (This is made quite a bit more amusing given that Sentinels have an anti-cavalry passive)
  22. [21:05:10] <Melanie> (That is a great line to take out of context)
  23. [21:06:15] <Ash> "Well, the Valkyrie corps back home tried bonding him with girl recruits lots of times, but they were never very experienced riders. When he threw them, they gave up and tried a different mount."
  24. [21:06:42] <Ash> "He didn't throw me, though, even though Father didn't like to see his bonny son riding a woman's mount." >:I
  25. [21:08:05] <Ash> "Forbade me from joining the corps, but I got to keep Thor at least."
  26. [21:09:02] <Haldis> Haldis turns to Ash. "What's flying like?"
  27. [21:09:30] <Ash> "Hm? Flying?"
  28. [21:09:52] <Haldis> "He's a pegasus, they fly, yes?"
  29. [21:10:07] <Ash> "Well, of course. Just wondering why you're so curious."
  30. [21:12:12] * Ash seems suspicious, "You aren't thinking of trying to ride Thor are you?"
  31. [21:13:53] <Haldis> "You say no woman has successfully mounted him. I see a challenge."
  32. [21:13:56] <Haldis> (There's more for ya, Aori :D)
  33. [21:14:11] <Melanie> (Go on.)
  34. [21:14:29] <Ash> "I see a broken neck."
  35. [21:16:31] <Haldis> "That's what makes it a challenge."
  36. [21:17:14] * Ash sighs, "One of THOSE are you. Reminds me of my older brothers. However, you can't just walk up and expect him to just let you on. That's a one-way ticket to a missing nose."
  37. [21:17:49] <Ash> "Your best bet is to let him get used to you. He won't like it, but it'll help him get less spooked."
  38. [21:18:53] <Haldis> "So...ambushing him by jumping onto his back from a tree is not advisable?"
  39. [21:19:31] <Ash> :I "You do that and I'll break your neck myself. This is my best friend we're talking about here."
  40. [21:21:04] <Haldis> She sizes him up, attempting to determine how likely it is he'd actually be able to break her neck, before continuing. "Your best a horse?"
  41. [21:21:24] <Ash> It's not very likely. He's got arms like twigs.
  42. [21:22:16] <Ash> "Uh... no! I mean... yeah, we're buddies... I mean... Well... Shut up!"
  43. [21:22:58] <Haldis> She looks back to Thor, as if he was capable of giving a straight answer.
  44. [21:23:14] <Ash> Thor gives her a >:I face
  45. [21:23:48] * Ash climbs onto Thor's back, "Look, If you want to try riding Thor come to the stables, but only when I'm there, okay? We can at least try it, but I don't think it'll work."
  46. [21:24:22] <Haldis> "Very well. I look forward to breaking your horse."
  47. [21:24:34] <Ash> "That's what I'm afraid of."
  48. [21:25:35] <Ash> Any last words before I fly away from the crazy lady.
  49. [21:25:35] <Ash> ?
  50. [21:27:02] <Haldis> Negative, Captain Skypony.
  51. [21:27:10] <Ash> WHOOSH
  52. [21:27:32] <Haldis> She glances down at the soap he left behind. "...lavendar?"
  53. [21:28:39] <Ash> (Haldis and Ashley attained C rank?)
  54. [21:29:37] <Haldis> (It prevents scurvy!)
  56. [21:33:37] <Ash> Wanna do B? That was kinda fun.
  57. [21:33:58] <Haldis> a B can most certainly be fulfilled
  58. [21:35:03] <Ash> ALRIGHT THEN
  59. [21:36:56] <Ash> In the stables! We join Ashley, who has Thor reigned and is waiting for Haldis to show up. He is grumbling about this being a terrible idea.
  60. [21:39:35] * Ash pats thor on the mane, "Alright, now don't worry. This is just an experiment. You've always been shunned by the other pegasi for this, so maybe this is for the best."
  61. [21:39:55] <Ash> "It's your chance to maybe... get to like girls for once."
  62. [21:40:06] <Ash> <Thor> :<
  63. [21:40:18] <Haldis> And show up she does. She's left behind her weapons and has exchanged her armor for a lighter jerkin to wear, more due to practicality than any concern for Thor. "Ashley." The greeting is quite stilted.
  64. [21:40:41] <Ash> "Ah! There you are Haldis."
  65. [21:41:18] <Ash> "Strange to see your without your armor and spear and all of your other weapons and things."
  66. [21:44:25] * Ash puts on a :smug: face of false bravado, "Me? Armor just slows me down."
  67. [21:44:53] <Haldis> She shows the first signs of discomfort Ash can remember seeing. "It is not an ideal disrobing...but I am not familiar with handling a mount in any manner other than...fatally hostile. Thus it seemed necessary."
  68. [21:45:38] <Ash> "Well, it's smart. Pegasi aren't all that strong. If you weigh too much he won't be able to fly well."
  69. [21:45:47] <Ash> "Assuming he'll let you approach at all."
  70. [21:47:09] * Ash pats Thor on the nose to comfort him, "Alright. Uh... I guess we can get started. Just walk forward slowly, keep your hands where he can see them, and stay in his vision. Approach from the side, not the front, y'know, like any other kind of horse."
  71. [21:48:45] * Haldis does as directed, glaring Thor in the eye.
  72. [21:49:01] <Ash> <Thor> >:I
  73. [21:49:28] <Ash> As you approach, Thor nickers and rears slightly, but Ash works to calm her down.
  74. [21:50:45] <Ash> "Stay calm, Thor. It's okay," says Ash, "Now try petting her gently, just on the mane. No sudden movements."
  75. [21:51:06] <Ash> *him
  76. [21:52:54] <Haldis> She gently strokes his mane with the finesse of an inebriated gorilla. There is no context in which her action can be considered a caress.
  77. [21:53:46] <Ash> As you touch Thor, He suddenly screams in a whinny and rears back. He jumps into the air, ripping out of the grip of the reigns in Ash's hands. You and Ashley both duck down as the hooves clip-clop on mid-air as the Pegasus begins to whirl up into the high cieling of the stable. He seems to be panicking, trying to find a way out, before he finally stops and perches like a bird on the thin rafters.
  78. [21:53:55] <Ash> "Thor!"
  79. [21:55:12] <Haldis> "That's...a rather curious place to retreat.
  80. [21:55:51] * Ash sighs, "He got spooked. They try to find high places, like mountains. If we were outside he'd be on the roof right now."
  81. [21:56:04] <Ash> "I guess we can try again later. Though not bad for a first try."
  82. [21:57:04] <Ash> "A little rough, but truth to tell, Thor kinda likes it that way."
  83. [21:57:25] <Ash> (It's not too late for me to get in on the action is it Aori? :3)
  84. [21:57:45] <Melanie> (I haven't actually even started any of my supports)
  85. [21:58:03] <Ash> (I meant the sexually tilted lines out of context but okay)
  86. [21:58:27] <Melanie> (Oh, no it's not)
  87. [21:58:35] <Haldis> "I do not wish to wait." She begins searching for a way to climb up to Thor.
  88. [21:59:05] <Ash> "Well, that's fine. We all can't succeed the first time we try somthi-You what?"
  89. [22:01:22] * Ash watches in muted horror as she begins to try climbing the walls.
  90. [22:01:50] <Ash> Helpful narrative: There might be a hayloft that you could get to the rafters from maybe? :3
  91. [22:02:39] <Haldis> She uses narrative sorcery to pull herself up to the hayloft and begins to plot a route up to Thor. "Sometimes we must run before we crawl."
  92. [22:03:28] <Ash> From his perch, Thor stares daggers at Haldis.
  93. [22:04:12] <Ash> "Are you crazy? What if you fall?"
  94. [22:04:12] <BlendedSolosis> i hope she wasn't crazy?
  95. [22:05:51] <Haldis> She rethinks her actions. "Good point." But she WAS crazy, Blendy, so she begins to toss down armfuls of hay to break a potential fall.
  96. [22:05:54] <Tim> (It's not as if barns don't have ladders~)
  97. [22:06:12] <Ash> "Oh brother."
  98. [22:06:13] <Haldis> (Psh, I've never seen a ladder in a Fire Emblem game)
  99. [22:07:44] <Ash> So, you jump from rafter to rafter to get to the flying horse, right?
  100. [22:08:55] <Haldis> Just like Mario, if he had no mustache, wasn't short, was blond, get the idea.
  101. [22:09:12] <Ash> Alright, so.
  102. [22:10:42] <Ash> Once you land on the same rafter that Thor is on, he hesitates as you get close, but soon begins to beat his wings as soon as you get within range of touching him. Jump on before he gets away?
  103. [22:11:35] <Haldis> She wastes no time thinking about how this can go wrong and jumps on his back, clinging for dear life.
  104. [22:12:33] <Ash> You grab hold and find yourself in an awkward belly-down position upon Thor's back, your arms encircling the horse's belly and your legs dangling off of his rump. He takes off from the rafter, bucking and neighing loudly.
  105. [22:13:17] <Ash> He circles the barn a few times, and you hang on for an impressive amount of time, until he finally bucks you off, and, still neighing, rushes out the open barn door and escapes into the open air.
  106. [22:13:48] <Ash> You go flying through the air and you think you're going to miss the hay, but you still find you've landed on something soft!
  107. [22:15:01] <Ash> You hear a strained "Ughh" from underneath you.
  108. [22:15:03] <Haldis> She braces for impact, preparing her landing such that less-important bones are shattered on cont- wait, no bones are broken.
  109. [22:15:55] * Haldis blinks and rolls off of Ash before facing him. " could have been hurt."
  110. [22:15:56] <Ash> Ash is lying flat on his back underneath you, having tried to catch you. Nothing about him seems permanently broken, but he is clearly uncomfortable.
  111. [22:16:00] <Ash> "Ow."
  112. [22:16:03] <Ash> "Get off."
  113. [22:18:08] <Haldis> She scrambles to her feet and offers him a hand. "You should not have put yourself at risk for me."
  114. [22:20:06] * Ash takes her hand, at first daintily, but forces himself to grab hold with force, before he pulls himself up with her help, "You were going to get hurt, we're both in the same army after all. Who would be there to... y'know... be up front and make sure the enemies don't stab me while I'm playing my staff-jockey thing?"
  115. [22:20:40] * Ash holds his ribs. They're only bruised.
  116. [22:21:05] <Haldis> "We have a sufficient number of soldiers that should be able to fill in for me to hold the line."
  117. [22:21:18] <Ash> This is going to sound weird, but... what does Haldis smell like?
  118. [22:21:40] <Ash> If we do A-rank, I promise I'm going somewhere with this
  119. [22:21:48] <Haldis> That is not a question I had prepared for...uh...give me...a bit...
  120. [22:22:47] <Ash> "Yeah, but we're both proud nordic warriors, aren't we? We should stick together. Even if you're absolutely insane."
  121. [22:26:38] <Haldis> The most subtle shade of red crosses her face briefly. "We are simply soldiers, any other in the army should be our equal."
  122. [22:27:42] <Ash> "Well, either way... I better go find Thor. Probably up a tree somewhere."
  123. [22:27:58] <Haldis> "Y-yes, I suppose you should."
  124. [22:28:54] * Ash walks away... but before he does, he took note of her scent when she was basically on top of him. What was it again...?
  125. [22:29:56] <Haldis> I can think of no reason her scent would be anything other than genuine perspiration and 1,1lewdness.
  126. [22:30:11] <Ash> HMMMM
  127. [22:30:20] <Ash> That seems to give him an idea.
  128. [22:30:27] <Haldis> What hath I wrought?
  129. [22:30:55] <Melanie> So wait, she smells like 1,1hot sexy sweaty woman?
  130. [22:31:18] <Ash> (Ash and Haldis attained rank B)
  131. [22:31:30] <Haldis> On days she has worked out, yes. Which is like all of them because soldier.
  132. [22:31:45] <Ash> Want to go right to A? Because haha I want to keep going with this.
  133. [22:31:59] <Giantree> adorable levels critical
  134. [22:32:06] <Haldis> I was trying so hard to not be so lewd, but realistically it could not be the case.
  135. [22:32:42] <Ash> (I was wondering if she might have put on 1,1The lavender soap to make her more pleasing to the pegasus)
  136. [22:33:03] <Ash> But either way, this works as well.
  137. [22:33:07] <Haldis> I had considered that
  138. [22:33:40] <Haldis> I'm scared now.
  140. [22:33:58] <Ash> GOING RIGHT TO A-RANK
  141. [22:34:09] <Ash> You start this time. Where is Haldis hanging out?
  142. [22:35:45] <Ash> It's just after the latest battle. You probablys still haven't washed the blood off your armor and weapons yet.
  143. [22:38:05] * Haldis sits in the armory, cleaning up the armor of others in order to prepare for the next battle. She'll be damned if she's going to let them degrade due to neglect, though she hasn't yet removed her own bloodied and 1,1sweaty armor yet.
  144. [22:38:41] <Ash> Ash rushes in past the other soldiers, and his face lights up when he sees Haldis.
  145. [22:39:30] <Ash> "Hey! Haldis!" he says, rushing up to her. He appears to be carrying a tub that he uses as a washbasin for Thor.
  146. [22:40:02] <Haldis> She glances up briefly. "Ashley."
  147. [22:40:32] <Ash> "Good! You haven't cleaned the blood off your armor," he says, "I just had the best idea. Here."
  148. [22:40:54] <Ash> Without asking, he wipes some of the blood off of your armor with his fingers and wipes it off on your face.
  149. [22:41:37] <Ash> "Perfect!"
  150. [22:41:53] <Haldis> "I...uh...w-what do you think you're doing?!"
  151. [22:42:31] <Ash> "Don't worry! It's a great idea, I swear," he says before kneeling down by the basin. He reaches in and takes out a handful of what is clearly mud, "Here, rub yourself down with this, and then do a bunch of jumping jacks!"
  152. [22:43:28] <Haldis> "Excuse me?!" She looks incredibly uncomfortable at the notion of being ordered to lather herself with mud.
  153. [22:44:49] <Ash> "I realized after last time, the reason Thor doesn't like girls. It's because of the smell. The girls at the Valkyrie corps all smelled just like you do, a little sweaty, but still smelling like a girl."
  154. [22:45:26] <Ash> "So, if we cover up your smell, Thor might not go crazy like last time. Blood and mud are the best. He loves the smell."
  155. [22:46:13] <Ash> "And I suppose the jumping jacks aren't necessary. You're probably still pretty sweaty from the battle."
  156. [22:47:02] <Haldis> "Like...a...girl?" She incredibly conspicuously smells herself out of confusion. " say so..." She begins to rub herself down with mud in the 1,1lewdest way po- actually it's pretty clumsy and awkward.
  157. [22:48:17] * Ash continues retrieving blood from her weapons and armor before wiping it off on her hands and arms, soon he's satisfied.
  158. [22:48:25] <Ash> "Alright. Come on."
  159. [22:48:36] * Ash picks up the washbasin and bustles off.
  160. [22:49:26] <Haldis> She follows in the way one expects Swamp Thing to.
  161. [22:49:59] <Ash> Thor is tied up outside and perks up when he sees Ashley and Haldis approach. Ashley drops the basin, and rushes up to Thor's side, before turning towards Haldis.
  162. [22:50:29] <Ash> "Alright, now just like last time, approach slowly, but this time when you pet her don't try to be gentle."
  163. [22:51:50] <Ash> "Pet him LIKE A MAN!"
  164. [22:52:38] <Haldis> She does as instructed with relative ease, though is gritting her teeth at being commanded to act like a man.
  165. [22:53:47] <Ash> Thor seems to shrink away slightly, but lets you approach. Once you get within smelling distance however, the mud and blood has a definite effect.
  166. [22:54:05] <Ash> He doesn't spook, and you're able to pet him with ease.
  167. [22:54:28] <Ash> He even responds to the petting by rubbing up against your hands, dirtying his white fur brown.
  168. [22:54:43] <Ash> "Ah-HA! That was it!"
  169. [22:57:18] <Haldis> Through the grime, the shade of a smile can be seen on Haldis's face. She's reluctant to speak, more concerned with NOT spooking the sexist horse if she did than the other way around.
  170. [22:57:50] <Ash> "Maybe he'll let you ride him."
  171. [22:58:14] <Ash> "Go on, give it a try. I'll sit behind you."
  172. [22:58:18] <Haldis> She nods and mounts him carefully.
  173. [22:59:13] * Ash climbs on behind her, "Alright, just squeeze his ribs with your knees and hold onto his reigns."
  174. [22:59:25] <Ash> "And get ready."
  175. [23:00:35] * Haldis nods and gets ready, holding on much tighter than expected, though that probably helps sustain the charade.
  176. [23:02:32] <Ash> Whoosh! We flying!
  177. [23:03:08] <Ash> Thor circles around in the air over the camp, galloping in the air in a lazy oval.
  178. [23:06:18] <Haldis> It takes her the longest time to pry her eyes open to see the beauty o- no, nevermind, that shit's fast and queasy, shut they go again. Did she not mention she'
  179. [23:06:23] <Haldis> s deathly afraid of heights?
  180. [23:07:05] * Ash doesn't notice for a while, but realizes that her grip on the reigns is a little deathly tight.
  181. [23:07:13] <Ash> "Hey, Haldis, you okay?"
  182. [23:07:53] <Haldis> "P-p-provided I remain on the horse and not on the ground, yes!"
  183. [23:09:05] <Ash> "Are... are you scared?"
  184. [23:09:19] <Haldis> "Don't be r-ridiculous!"
  185. [23:10:20] * Ash smirks, "Well in that case you wouldn't mind if Thor showed off his famous loop-the-loop. Just say the word."
  186. [23:11:52] <Haldis> Ohgodnonononono. "Go..right...ahead!"
  187. [23:12:19] <Ash> "Well now I gotta."
  188. [23:12:23] <Ash> "Hup hup!"
  189. [23:13:11] <Ash> You feel yourself wheeling through the air as the horse does a sudden quick turn, leaving you momentarily upside down, before you are on level air once again.
  190. [23:14:39] <Haldis> If the terrifying thought of going hurtling toward the ground wasn't so real, she'd have passed out.
  191. [23:15:29] <Ash> "Alright Thor that's enough," says Ash, before the winghorse begins to land. Soon you hear hoofbeats on the ground and the Pegasus stops to let you off.
  192. [23:16:52] * Haldis tears her hands from the horse and dismounts in an action one would be more inclined to describe as a fall, clinging to the ground on her hands and knees, quickly wiping away a few terror tears.
  193. [23:17:39] * Ash is laughing, "Boy, you really are crazy!"
  194. [23:18:50] <Haldis> She slowly rises to her feet. "H-how so?"
  195. [23:19:00] <Ash> "Is that what all of this was about? To get over a fear of heights?"
  196. [23:19:17] <Haldis> "No one said I was afraid of anything!" She doesn't dare look directly at him.
  197. [23:19:32] <Ash> "Of course not."
  198. [23:20:09] <Ash> "Bravery, warriors pride, blah blah blah."
  199. [23:20:42] <Ash> "My father IS a Viking chieftan after all. Makes sense to confront your inner demons like you did."
  200. [23:23:20] <Haldis> Haldis looks Ash in the eye, looking almost furious. Though rather than leading to a broken bone, she breaks into an incredibly wide smile; if anyone else were to witness it, they'd think she was crazy. And if they already thought that, they'd have evidence of it. "Thank you for the r-ride."
  201. [23:24:30] <Ash> "If you ever want another one, get yourself all muddy and bloody and Thor will be ready anytime."
  202. [23:25:04] <Haldis> The blood on her cheeks glows slightly redder. "I'd...rather skip that step..."
  203. [23:25:58] <Ash> "Well, he'll get used to you eventually whether you smell or not, and maybe he'll just let you ride without all that."
  204. [23:26:40] <Ash> "We'll be at the river if you need us, we need to clean up," says Ash, looking down at his own slightly muddy clothes and Thor's muddied coat. Thor seems almost disappointed :<
  205. [23:27:50] <Haldis> "I look forward to it, Ashley." She bows awkwardly and stumbles off also in search of a bath, though hopefully in private so she doesn't have to explain why she's covered in blood and mud.
  206. [23:28:25] * Ash rides off towards the river.
  207. [23:29:00] <Ash> (Haldis and Ash have reached A Rank)
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