[23:16] Mirkrali: [sub]honestly if she cant take constructive criticism then she's not gonna become a good artist >>'[/sub]
[23:17] Creoste Fenn: Tfw
[23:18] Mirkrali: [sub]ps, dont ever rp with kagelan. He's the creepy dude that used t obother me and he's only gotten creepier[/sub]
[23:18] Mirkrali: [sub]he found someone I know's personal information[/sub]
[23:19] Creoste Fenn: Ew gross
[23:19] Mirkrali: yup
[23:19] Creoste Fenn: Thank you for warn
[23:19] Mirkrali: ye np
[23:19] Mirkrali: he has an obnoxious amount of alts, so it's always hard to tell what's him
[23:19] Creoste Fenn: Blegh
[23:20] Mirkrali: yeah
[23:20] Mirkrali: apparently when i cut contacts he just got crazier
[23:21] Creoste Fenn: Yetch x_x
[23:21] Mirkrali: /me also might attempt to lood cree
[23:21] Creoste Fenn: Do it
[23:21] Creoste Fenn: I dunno how detailed I can get on my phone but we can find out
[23:21] Mirkrali: it's oke
[23:21] Mirkrali: just fun stuff
[23:27] Mirkrali: o, cree is smol!
[23:27] Creoste Fenn: Compared to most dergns ye
[23:28] Mirkrali: mirk is smol, but not that smol
[23:31] Creoste Fenn: She's about the size of an anthro
[23:31] Mirkrali: /me lays on Cree. Smish
[23:37] Creoste Fenn: Oh gods I forgot how overwhelming fchat got so quickly
[23:37] Mirkrali: yeaaah
[23:37] Mirkrali: maybe no rp XD
[23:37] Creoste Fenn: I'm sorry ;;
[23:37] Mirkrali: it is nbd
[23:37] Creoste Fenn: I was feeling all weirdly shy ;;;;;;
[23:38] Mirkrali: shhhh everyone loves you
[23:39] Creoste Fenn: ;;;;;;;;; whyyyy
[23:39] Mirkrali: cause ur great
[23:40] Creoste Fenn: Oh jeez ;;;;;
[23:40] Mirkrali: /me petpats all over
[23:40] Creoste Fenn: I am like, a fat sweaty goblin who stresses himself out into not leaving the house
[23:41] Mirkrali: /me kneads vigorously
[23:41] Creoste Fenn: Ooooooof wow I'm like just ultra bad head right now
[23:41] Mirkrali: D: I'm sorry
[23:42] Creoste Fenn: I have been completely flipping out about my doctor emailing me my paranoid brain tells me that it means I'm gonna die
[23:42] Creoste Fenn: Even though it probably just means that he got my test results back and he's a competent doctor
[23:43] Mirkrali: ur not gonna die
[23:43] Creoste Fenn: Oh my God. OK. My brain is Ultra bad. I almost like vomited a huge panic attack at you
[23:43] Mirkrali: it's okay
[23:44] Mirkrali: I'm here to listen friendo
[23:44] Creoste Fenn: I might have to go bother my housemate to listen to me and help me with my stupid head
[23:44] Creoste Fenn: Or something
[23:44] Mirkrali: okay ;w;
[23:44] Mirkrali: I wanna be here for yooooou
[23:44] Creoste Fenn: I don't want anyone to see me like this._.
[23:44] Mirkrali: I mean you saw me break down last night
[23:44] Creoste Fenn: Weh
[23:45] Creoste Fenn: I'm just like
[23:45] Mirkrali: /me [b]aggressively supports[/b]
[23:46] Creoste Fenn: Constantly trying not to fucking hate myself, terrified that my agoraphobia is actually just laziness bc I'm having trouble getting around with the current bus arrangement even tho the train is a km away and being seen sweating and stinking as a fat person is ungodly sin and I'm disgusting anyway I can't let people see
[23:46] Creoste Fenn: Can't do that to people
[23:47] Mirkrali: What my gf taught me is that, if you have to doubt yourself, then you're probably not lazy or faking it
[23:47] Creoste Fenn: But what if I'm tricking you
[23:47] Mirkrali: Well that's my problem :V
[23:48] Mirkrali: I trust you m8
[23:48] Creoste Fenn: I do not feel trustworthy
[23:48] Mirkrali: You are a soff that has issues, and that is ok
[23:49] Creoste Fenn: I keep reacting to my family and what happened with Bob and snow like it was serious and it was just words for the most part and I shouldnt let it define me
[23:50] Creoste Fenn: I'm a spoiled disgusting symbol of western indulgence and unawareness of real suffering
[23:51] Mirkrali: I wouldnt say you're spoiled and disgusting. And it's like... That's a fallacy. Just cause someone else has it worse doesn't mean you're not allowed to suffer
[23:51] Mirkrali: experience is relative, and you cant make the hurt go away just cause someone else has a different kind of hurt
[23:52] Creoste Fenn: There is nothing making me suffer but my own personality and my memories
[23:52] Mirkrali: We're creatures of emotion and memory. That shit is gonna haunt us, and it's not insignificant
[23:53] Mirkrali: I'd sure as hell be a better person if I could do what my parents keep telling me-- just getting off my ass and /doing/ things. But it's not that easy
[23:53] Creoste Fenn: I just. I feel really lonely and technically there's people I should bond with but I'm not comfortable with them and it's my fault
[23:53] Mirkrali: I understand v-v
[23:54] Mirkrali: It's hard not feeling lonely
[23:54] Creoste Fenn: Also I'm worried about maybe having to move to keep myself from self combustion but honestly I don't know if that will stop and agoraphobia flare up
[23:55] Mirkrali: move as in exercise?
[23:55] Mirkrali: Could you like... find a way to grab one of those cycling exercise thingies that you can shove in a room? I swear I see at least one in every thrift store around here
[23:56] Creoste Fenn: Because I feel like no one I've ever lived with has truly wanted me there except for people who live so far away I would need 10000 at least to immigrate with them securely
[23:56] Creoste Fenn: Move as in house to better bus line, closer
[23:57] Mirkrali: oooh. blup :c
[00:00] Creoste Fenn: But I just got here
[00:00] Mirkrali: idk what to tell you :c I guess... do what you have to do to keep your life happy and healthy?
[00:01] Creoste Fenn: And I feel like I have to choose between saving for long term mental health with loved ones and doing nothing but sitting in my room and reading and watching YouTube and documentaries, or going out and doing things and looking like a normal person short term but screwing my ability to be with those I love
[00:02] Creoste Fenn: And feeling really frustrated and upset because I try to get help but as soon as people hear everything they get kind of quiet and pass me on...
[00:03] Mirkrali: ;w; I'm sorry. That sounds really shitty
[00:04] Mirkrali: I'm sorry if I seem quiet. Im just sitting here wanting to hug you n' not sure what to say cause I'm trying to get out of advice mode
[00:04] Creoste Fenn: Hugs are good
[00:04] Creoste Fenn: I mean you can try advice
[00:04] Creoste Fenn: I really should start up with the gym near by
[00:05] Mirkrali: /me squeezes tight
[00:05] Creoste Fenn: I'm just... Having a lot of trouble feeling OK about being visible moving
[00:05] Mirkrali: when I give advice it just ends up annoying people |D
[00:05] Creoste Fenn: Is ok
[00:05] Creoste Fenn: I know you just want to help
[00:05] Creoste Fenn: I trust you too you know
[00:06] Mirkrali: /me nests on and kneads
[00:06] Mirkrali: maybe try the gym? Hopefully it's air conditioned ._.
[00:06] Creoste Fenn: Yeah I think so
[00:06] Mirkrali: I mean at least you'd be trying, yeah?
[00:06] Creoste Fenn: I think I will ask my support worker to walk there with me
[00:07] Mirkrali: Ye good idea!
[00:07] Creoste Fenn: So uh, I have someone to help if I melt down
[00:07] Creoste Fenn: And I really, really need to invest in a vacuum cleaner
[00:08] Creoste Fenn: And set an alarm for watering my plants
[00:08] Mirkrali: I forget the value of vacuum cleaners until I live by myself and have nothing to schwoomp up the dirt
[00:10] Creoste Fenn: Tfw
[00:10] Creoste Fenn: I found one on ebay that looks good