PTFG

Cutie Swap

Dec 29th, 2020
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  1. >Inside a completely dead Carls Jr.
  2. >Browsing /mlp/
  3. >Suddenly Glitch
  4. >What the hell
  5. >You get a white screen
  6. >No response to input
  7. >It's overheating
  8. >Drop it like its hot
  9. >Some sort of plasma starts spewing out
  10. >A cartoony green scaled claw pushes out of your screen and squishes your half eaten burger
  11. >Lights go out
  12. >Shit starts exploding all around you
  13. >Employees nope the fuck out
  14. >He pulls himself out of your screen while laughing maniacally
  15. >He looks exactly like he does in the show
  16. "Fluttershy said I can't cause chaos in Ponyville"
  17. >His expression turns mischievous
  18. >He gets in your face
  19. >"but this isn't Ponyville"
  20.  
  21. >He pokes you in the nose.
  22. >Your nostrils flare, as your face pushes out into a light blue muzzle
  23. >You claw at your gut as your organs reshape
  24. >Oh God, it's like having appendicitis
  25. >He shakes off the burger
  26. >"Oh my, where are my manners! Allow me to introduce myself!"
  27. >He conjures a lightning storm
  28. >"I am Discord master of chaos!"
  29. >You wheeze
  30. "I know"
  31. >The lightning disappears
  32. >He takes a seat
  33. >"You do?"
  34. "Ungh... yeah"
  35. >"Oh come now, how is that even possible"
  36. >You reach for your phone, but struggle to grab it with your hoof
  37. >Discord hands it to you
  38. "Thanks"
  39. >You promptly drop it on the table
  40. >"Don't mention it"
  41. >You fumble with the interface
  42. >It's hard to see through the tears, but you manage to load a Youtube video
  43. >It plays a clip from the show
  44. >"What... you have magic too?"
  45. "No its not magi~"
  46. >A slight tickle develops in your throat. Your voice cracks, and loses it's bass
  47. >It jumps a couple octaves, and sounds decidedly female
  48. "~ic it's technology. What the fuck?"
  49. >He blankly stares
  50. "You know"
  51. >Holy shit, your crotch is on fire
  52. "m-machines run by electricity, uh... lightning!"
  53. >He grabs it and holds it to his face like a pair of goggles
  54. >"Fascinating"
  55. >Your feet leave the ground despite being fully extended
  56. >Are... are you fucking shrinking!
  57. >You hazard a look down your now extremely baggy jeans
  58. "Umm... Discord!" you choke
  59. >You point at your crotch
  60. >He doesn't take his eyes off your phone
  61. >He flicks his wrist, restoring your burger!
  62. "Oh, um... thanks"
  63.  
  64. >He flips the screen
  65. >You assume the video rotates with it
  66. "What an inventive people you are!"
  67. >A pocket appears on his hip, then he slides your phone into it
  68. "Hey, give that back!"
  69. >You go for the phone, but now you're way too short to reach it
  70. >"Well its been fun erm"
  71. >He zaps your mare ass
  72. >And you gain a flower as your cutie mark
  73. >"Lilac, but I'm ready to get started."
  74. >He cracks his knuckles, and prepares to teleport
  75. "Wait, what about me!"
  76. >He strokes his beard thoughtfully
  77. >Then snaps his claws
  78. >"I'll be right back"
  79. >You wait for what seems like hours
  80. >It's beginning to sound like hell on Earth outside
  81. >When, finally Discord returns carrying something
  82. >He drops the poor thing into the chair across from you
  83. >"Dude, what the fuck!"
  84. >This stallion is clearly out of his element
  85. >"You're another friggin cartoon!"
  86. >Discord claps gleefuly
  87. >"Ahh, a perfect match!"
  88. >He elbows you in the shoulder
  89. >"I told you I'd set you up"
  90. >You hear an alarm
  91. >"Whoops I almost forgot"
  92. >He silences his wristwatch, leans down to you, and whispers
  93. >"I promised Fluttershy I'd be in bed by nine"
  94. >He slides the phone over to you
  95. >"Can you take care of this until I get back?"
  96. >You don't respond
  97. >"Atta' girl!"
  98. >He pats you on the head
  99. >Which you enjoy more than you'd like to admit
  100. >Discord hands you your phone and is promptly sucked in
  101. >The stallion is shaking
  102. >His teeth are chattering
  103. >He's seen some shit out there
  104. >Shit you wouldn't believe
  105. >Well, someone's got to break the ice
  106. "Hey, wanna fuck?"
  107.  
  108. >He drops his head into his hooves and sobs
  109. >You blush
  110. "Uh, hey that didn't come out right. What I meant was what's your name"
  111. >"I... can't remember."
  112. >Alright, so Discord messed with our heads a little no biggie.
  113. >He lets out a sob chuckle
  114. >"I'm sorry, it's just that"
  115. >He blushes
  116. >"I'm not used to having uh, this sort of equipment"
  117. >His er, her eyes dart downwards
  118. >Ducking under the table, you spot the bulge in her thong and unleash a girlish giggle
  119. >You tear off your briefs and twirl them before the new stallion
  120. "It looks like we've got that in common sister"
  121. >You share a laugh
  122. "So tell me about yourself."
  123. >"Well, I work part time as a florist while going to the local college."
  124. "Are you studying for a degree in botany?"
  125. >She blushes, "Oh no, nothing that difficult.
  126. >I'm just going for a certificate in floristry"
  127. "Interesting."
  128. >"And you?"
  129. "I'm majoring in physics. I'm actually pre-med."
  130. >"Ha ha, brainiac. Maybe you can help my with my Algebra homework sometime."
  131. >You smile
  132. "Yeah when Twilight fixes this."
  133. >"Who?"
  134.  
  135. "Oh, Twilight is a powerful Alicorn from the show My Little Pony, The universe that Discord, the beast who transformed us, came from.
  136. here let me show you."
  137. >You grab your phone, but somehow forget what to do next
  138. >She taps it somewhere, and it's on
  139. "Oh, thanks."
  140. >And now this screen pops up, how are you confused?
  141. >It's your phone!
  142. >She giggles and unlocks it, "That's okay, I know how it is, I'm not good with technology either
  143. >Well not usually at least..."
  144. >She casts her gaze downwards in contemplation
  145. >"Lilac, I need you to answer some questions for me."
  146. "O-okay."
  147. >"Whats the integral of x to the third?"
  148. "Uh, x to the..."
  149. >"Third. X times x times x?"
  150. "Uh... what's x?"
  151. >She chuckled a bit
  152. >She continues on like this asking a multitude of complex questions
  153. >ranging from math, to physics, to chemistry
  154. >Most of which you can't even begin to understand, until she's rolling in her seat laughing
  155. >"Wow, it's like you don't know anything!"
  156. >Your furry pink face now burns a deep red
  157. "What was that all about!"
  158. >"Discord must've swapped our talents!"
  159. "What! why?"
  160. >She wipes a tear from her eye, "I don't know, but I think it's kinda cute."
  161. >Cute! Wait, cutie mark!
  162. >"Ha, now you're as dumb as I was! Help me with my Algebra..."
  163. >You leap over the table and grab the stallion
  164. "Dude, I need to see your flank!"
  165. >She stares dumbfounded, then bursts out laughing again
  166. >You leap over the table and take a look
  167. >A red cross graces his haunches
  168. "Oh shit, it's true!"
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