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- Last night, on my actually for real final Apex Legends game, I thought my squad was doomed. Our third squadmate had been disconnected, and I knew I was dead weight for the more experienced player I was tagging along with. I was content to get lost and then shot, because it was around midnight and I knew I should sleep. Then my squadmate timidly said hi.
- I don’t really like competitive games, or games where you have to talk to strangers. Why I’m so in love with Apex Legends remains a mystery even to me, because it is a competitive game where you might have to talk to strangers. Usually I play Apex with my friends, so talking on mic has begun to feel more natural. But after my friends logged off for the night last night, I decided I wanted a few more games.
- My aversion to talking to strangers is mostly about being impatient and tired, or not wanting to meet new people. I also just don’t want to be yelled at by players who might be angrier or more aggressive than me. When it comes down to it, I don’t want to be shouted at during my private time, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
- But last night, when my remaining squadmate said hi to me after we lost our third, I didn’t see a way out of the situation. I turned on my mic, and I said hi back.
- He seemed like a nice kid. I assume he was a kid—he had a young-sounding voice and an edgy, all caps username. We didn’t run into much action, so we started chatting. I explained that I wasn’t great at the game but I really like playing. He told me that was fine. When I said that I hadn’t gotten a win yet, he seemed shocked.
- “My friend, the guy who got dropped,” he told me, “last game he had 14 kills. We gotta get you a win!”
- His enthusiasm was infectious. We shared a little bit about our lives. I told him that unfortunately I can’t play Apex all day because I have a job. He told me he has a paper route. He jokingly chided me for swearing at one point, so I told him about Tim Rogers’s promise to his mother that he would never swear, which he’s kept all these years.
- “Nah,” he replied. “I couldn’t do it.” He laughed, and then I laughed with him.
- We made it to the last few teams of the game, then got surprised by another squad who flanked us. I got a few good hits in with a shotgun but went down quickly. Soon after, the game was over. I thanked him for a good game.
- I went to wash my face and brush my teeth. While I was applying various creams to my face, I thought about my squadmate. I wondered what he thought of me—some anonymous woman, older than him, who he crossed paths with for a game. To me, it seemed marvelous that even for just 15 minutes, our two worlds, so far apart, could meet. I wondered if tomorrow, when I was getting ready for work, he would be out there delivering papers.
- As I went to turn off my PlayStation 4, I saw that I had a friend request. It was my squadmate.
- “I had a little bit of trouble remembering your name,” he wrote. “But we gotta get you a win some time.”
- I hit accept.
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