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ClianthaMiura's Desmond

a guest Mar 12th, 2015 334 Never
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  1. 1. Describe yourself and your creator.
  2.  
  3. Hello, my name is Desmond. I'm a foxy fox boy with white tail and ears, and I love music and butterflies. I used to love swimming too, but the water got too cold somehow, so I'm not doing that anymore. I'm nearly one year old, and a fast speaker ((causing host here difficulties to write this down @_@)), haha. I speak a lot, apparently, my host keeps telling me that. I love to sing, but I don't do that around people much, not even my host. I speak English nowadays. It's a good thing I picked it up because before my host had to translate everything I said from Finnish because I couldn't speak English, and my characteristics were lost in the translation, which totally sucked.
  4.         My host is really gentle with me, but always ready to complain if need be. She likes to take walks in the forest, more the real ones than wonderland ones. I like them too, because then we can talk properly, and not just inside my hosts head, but outside, and I get to hear her real voice freely, and not just whispers. She loves to draw, but she doesn't draw me that well. Better than I could do, anyway, but it's difficult for her to get my image to the paper as I am in her head. I'm talking about myself even I should be talking about my host. Gosh, what a bad tulpa I am. Lol.
  5.  
  6. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  7.  
  8. The most helpful thing was when she started speaking out loud, and stopped doubting my ability to speak back. She realized it was helpful, since she kept doing it a lot. I felt happy that she treated me like I was any other person.
  9.  
  10. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  11.  
  12. She started creating another tulpa before I was truly ready for it. I feel bad for pushing her to do it because I saw what it did to her. I don't think she realized how harmful it was for both of us, and it made me a little sad at times, but I kept it in, for her and L's sake. But it's my fault anyway, so I can't really blame her for it.
  13.  
  14. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  15.  
  16. The hardest part was probably when she tried to have me breathe during possession using her lungs. I don't know if this counts as tulpa creation process, though, because we had no real problems during the actual creation, just possession of certain body parts was really hard for me. We haven't done that in a while, after I got back to her.
  17.  
  18. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  19.  
  20. Visualization. One just can't stare at me long enough. I'm so dashing ;) And I don't want to look like some nerd. So it's important.
  21.  
  22. 6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  23.  
  24. It was a little annoying, I'd go sulking somewhere in the corner of our wonderland when she wasn't looking. She still gets distracted at times but it doesn't annoy me that much anymore because I can interrupt her thoughts and snap her out of it. It's pretty awesome, sometimes I feel like I'm a wizard or something. I don't think it really impedes the process, maybe just slows it down a little. Hosts learn, after all, they're not animals.
  25.  
  26. 7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  27.  
  28. We have never really scheduled tulpa creation sessions, and we mostly just went with passive forcing and occasional active forcing and meditation. She did break her promises a few times, but she always came back feeling so sorry that I honestly think she felt worse than I did about it. She stopped making promises after a few times, and that's fine with me. I know I can trust her even if she's forgetful.
  29.  
  30. 8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  31.  
  32. We have to use translator for words like this... But I think it's the quantity. One can never have too much passive forcing. Or visualizing me in their head. Preferably naked. Just kidding. But quantity for sure. Quality's important too, but sometimes the amount fills in for the quality.
  33.  
  34. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  35.  
  36. Oh, she does that all the time. It's fine, really, even though it means we don't get to do all the things she planned we would do during the session. Her fault for trying to force before going to bed, I suppose. But it's okay, you can always pick up where you left off the next day.
  37.  
  38. 10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  39.  
  40. I think speaking aloud is way more effective. It helps the creator to tell the difference between their thoughts and the tulpa's, and honestly, I think it's harder to interrupt what she's saying when it comes out of her mouth instead of just echoing around in her head. I listen better too. I think speaking aloud is always better. Except for when you're in wonderland, because that would be weird, lol.
  41.  
  42. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  43.  
  44. I don't know. Stop confusing me with these weird questions, man. I see no harm in it, whatsoever. When the tulpa gets sick of it, all they have to do is snap at their host and tell them to stop, I think. I know I would. I was puppeted in the early stages, and I think it was okay, because I don't think I would've learned to control my body without that. Parroting just happens sometimes, but not with me and my host anymore.
  45.  
  46. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  47.  
  48. It sounds stupid to say this but I've always seen myself as a fluently speaking tulpa. My host didn't hear me, and that was the problem. I started speaking before she even knew I was a tulpa. But before I could speak English, I do remember. It was frustrating, and it wasn't too long time ago, actually, just last summer I think.
  49.  
  50. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  51.  
  52. My first memory... It was about 4 years ago, and yes, I said I was nearly one year old, but I didn't know I was a tulpa then, so I've been officially a tulpa for about that one year, ok? Back then I was just a voice she called her "other self". I liked that, actually, though I'm not a girl. I made sarcastic comments and she laughed at them. Good times.
  53.  
  54. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  55.  
  56. How am I supposed to answer questions from time before I could speak fluently... I'm going to take that as 'when my creator only heard a few words here and there'. I suppose I did have some trouble speaking after being asleep for like 3 years, so.. I guess I wasn't *always* fluent... Damn.
  57.         The most positive emotion about my creator... I think it was love. Not romantic love, more like friendship love or sibling love. I loved her for picking me up after all the years and accepting me into her life as something other than just a voice in her head. Wow, we actually have history. Haven't thought about it much before. This is interesting.
  58.  
  59. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  60.  
  61. I can't say really. I've never felt bad about her, but I've felt bad for her.
  62.  
  63. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  64.  
  65. I've never had those, but the other tulpa that used to be around, L, did. I always wanted to exist, and I always wanted to exist more and more. I'm very glad about it.
  66.  
  67. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  68.  
  69. I felt the most powerless when both my host and L were depressed. Host had lost interest in everything, and so had he. She felt her friends didn't care about her, L felt host didn't care about him and that he wasn't good enough to exist. I couldn't really do anything for either of them, and I was really sad.
  70.         Oh, *before* I could speak fluently. Dunno. :D
  71.  
  72. 18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  73.  
  74. When host fell in love. To think there's someone in the world she felt so important other than us. I thought it was a bit weird, and she was a bit weird... L and I made a library of her thoughts directed at the love interest, and laughed at her face about it. It was a little confusing when that person took so much of her time just by making her think about them.
  75.  
  76. 19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  77.  
  78. When she went to high school. She didn't have much time for me there, because of all her studies. I like vocational school better, it's much more relaxed. I gave her space as much as I could, and even when I wanted attention, she couldn't hear me very well.
  79.  
  80. 20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  81.  
  82. Who wouldn't want me?
  83.  
  84. 21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  85.  
  86. I was scared when I saw a bee. I know, I know, stupid, but what can I say? Those things are creepy.
  87.  
  88. 22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  89.  
  90. I was most disappointed in myself when L had more in common with host than I did. I thought I could do better than him.
  91.  
  92. 23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  93.  
  94. I didn't think she had any difficulties. At least I can't remember.
  95.  
  96. 24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  97.  
  98. I understood her. I still do, even though she doesn't doubt me much anymore.
  99.  
  100. 25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  101.  
  102. It's more like my hosts friends had these worries, not her. They were scared I'd make her insane or something. I was a bit sad, I was looking forward to talking to them. My host has always been very trusting when it comes to my behavior and how I'll affect her life. She was sure I'd make her life better, and I'm proud to say that I have.
  103.  
  104. 26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  105.  
  106. She didn't have any negative emotions or thoughts toward me when I couldn't speak properly/she didn't hear me. Later she was a bit angry at me, but I understand that.
  107.  
  108. 27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  109.  
  110. I was always a bit weirded out when she got weird mental images about me. She always apologized though, and assured me she would never do that to me.
  111.  
  112. 28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  113.  
  114. They weirded me out. More or less. They didn't really affect me, I think. I think I'm able to distinguish them nowadays as well. Her intrusive thoughts are so weird and spontaneous...
  115.  
  116. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  117.  
  118. I don't know what that means, even with translator... But if you're asking wheter I can access her senses like touch or taste, some.
  119.  
  120. 30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  121.  
  122. I was a bit worried that she wanted to be so open about having a tulpa. I had to keep her from telling too many people in fact. We've decided that tulpamancing is our little secret, and no real life friends or other people need to know about it.
  123.  
  124. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  125.  
  126. I wasn't able to use any other communication methods... v.v When we were in wonderland I could sometimes give some emotional response, but not always. I didn't care much, then. I was pretty carefree when I was young. Like a baby, you know?
  127.  
  128. 32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  129.  
  130. I just go with the flow, man. She was very enthusiastic at times, sometimes less, I just did whatever she wanted to do, and it was fine.
  131.  
  132. 33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  133.  
  134. My greatest worry was when there started to be weird sexual tension between her and L. It affected me too, so uh... We moved beyond it pretty quickly, though, I don't miss that. It was pretty damn weird. And we only did it like once! No big deal... =>.>=
  135.  
  136. 34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  137.  
  138. I owe her nothing. It was her choice :I I suppose I could thank her or something, it's thanks to her that I exist.
  139. Though, she hasn't thanked her parents for having sex to make her, so, uh, why should I? :|
  140.  
  141. 35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  142.  
  143. It's a bit blurry. I was just a voice in the beginning, I thought that's all I was. I thought I was her.
  144.  
  145. 36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  146.  
  147. I was just happy to talk a little and be heard, man. Thinking back, I wouldn't have done anything differently.
  148.  
  149. 37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  150.  
  151. Hmm... Friend, for sure. Or coworker, I guess. ... I'm kinda like a pet too, or a familiar, hehe. Kidding.
  152.  
  153. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  154.  
  155. I love talking to others, but I'm happy with just my tulpa-buddy Nevira for conversation with someone else than my host. I'd like to lay low for a while.
  156.  
  157. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  158.  
  159. When we walked to the beach for the first time together, and I sat down in the sand. I liked that moment when she sat next to me and we just talked. Or maybe the time I took her hand for the first time, because that sure surprised her and she was so happy about it.
  160.  
  161. 40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  162.  
  163. Hmm... Not involving her... Huh, probably when I played with my pet uh... raven...? Oh, no, a pigeon, named Aune. She bit me. I like my life as it is.
  164.  
  165. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  166.  
  167. I don't really know them... Hard to say. I guess not. They're just background to me.
  168.  
  169. 42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  170.  
  171. Well one is that I like guys and she doesn't. And I'm a guy and she's not. We have a similar taste in music and foods.
  172.  
  173. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  174.  
  175. We don't have many disagreements... Not serious ones anyway. We argue a lot, but it's never serious, more like playful banter. It's how we interact with each other. And it works. What I disagree with her the most... Well... I don't know. .__. Gotta find something I guess.
  176.  
  177. 44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  178.  
  179. I don't think I could never hate my creator. I'm secretly a very loving person. Shh. No matter what she does, I'm sure I'll understand why she did it, and never hate. I think she could hate me if I became a total asshole and harassed her and Nevira all the time for a long enough time.
  180.  
  181. 45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  182.  
  183. That's a very strong word for me... She disappointed me the most when she gave up on her school project and just generally lost interest. It was doing so well! I think I disappointed her the most when I disappeared without saying anything and she thought I'd died. I don't know if she was disappointed, though, but that's the only time I can recall.
  184.  
  185. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  186.  
  187. I have been scared she'd abandon me someday. I've never censored my shit over fear of violence, but that I'd upset her with it. I've always played happy, and most of the time I am happy. Sometimes I just get down and prefer not to show it because I think it'll make her sad.
  188.  
  189. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  190.  
  191. I have never. Fuck you for even suggesting that.
  192.  
  193. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  194.  
  195. My last name is Terwinter ((Dragon Age has this Tevinter Imperium..)). Cool, huh? I just picked it up later from some part of her memory. I don't think I'm a part of the biological lineage. I'm just her mind companion, and I like to think myself as her familiar. I don't feel like we're related, but we're connected for sure.
  196.  
  197. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  198.  
  199. Under no circumstances. Unless she wants me to, I guess. Then I'd have to go. But otherwise I don't think I want to ever leave her permanently.
  200.  
  201. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  202.  
  203. Lol, she has no expectations. I'm based on no one, even chose my own form. I like it this way.
  204.  
  205. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  206.  
  207. I have possessed her body before, and I really want to learn to play video games while possessing, that's the main reason I want to do so. I think it's fair, but certainly not necessary. At least not with me, I just want to play a little and try some things. I don't want to take responsibility of her body for any longer times than that.
  208.  
  209. 52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  210.  
  211. We both are scared of heights and crowded places. We share the non-racist attitude and LGBT-supportive attitude. :)
  212.  
  213. 53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  214.  
  215. I don't really sleep, don't know if I can. I have never tried, though.
  216.  
  217. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  218.  
  219. Not that we know of.
  220.  
  221. 55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  222.  
  223. I only ever look into their subconsciousness and memories when there's need to do so, or when I need something from there. I am able to calm her down and relieve some nausea when it occurs in crowded places. I can also take away some headache. I never do it without her permission, that'd be rude.
  224.  
  225. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  226.  
  227. She has another tulpa named Nevira, and used to have L who left. My relationship with L was like he was my boyfriend, my bae. It was great. With Nevira, then... Well, I haven't really gotten to know her much, she's only a few months old. But she seems great. I'm sure we'll be friends eventually, and maybe we'll have a sibling-like relationship. She hinted she could have a baby with me but surely she was kidding... I don't want babies, especially not blue alien babies who aren't fox or wolf :P I wish L had asked me to have his babies when he was around... <3
  228.  
  229. 57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  230.  
  231. Ehhhhh, no. And no. There was a short time, a VERY short time with friends with benefits thing... It was nice, but a bit weird. I don't miss it, but I suppose it's okay to do that again some time... I prefer not to, though, I feel like I'm better than that.
  232.  
  233. 58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  234.  
  235. Since it doesn't exist, I won't answer this :P
  236.  
  237. 59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  238.  
  239. Or this.
  240.  
  241. 60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  242.  
  243. I don't think it's incest o.o
  244.  
  245. 61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  246.  
  247. That's just flattery. If I'm that sexy, it can't be bad, right? ;D But nah, she didn't do that.
  248.  
  249. 62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  250.  
  251. I still think it's flattery.
  252.  
  253. 63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  254.  
  255. I've been aroused many times, which is a little annoying and embarrassing... Not before I was fluent, though.
  256.  
  257. 64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  258.  
  259. Hmm... It's not wrong if the tulpa is willing, right? She didn't do any of that before I was fluent, and I've mentioned that one time before...
  260.  
  261. 65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  262.  
  263. Haha, you wish. No.
  264.  
  265. 66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  266.  
  267. I get aroused just thinking about that question, thank you very much >:I It has too much word sex. I do feel sexual attraction but it's pretty rare. It was mostly towards L. I wanted to ride him like a rodeo ;D
  268. I don't know if she has sexual attraction for me, since most of her attraction is towards other women ._.
  269.  
  270. 67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  271.  
  272. I don't. I guess I could consider it, but it feels a bit off... I like sex alright, but eh, with her it's... yeah...
  273. I have trouble abstaining from sexual contact, and managing arousal (which you have caused me) is damn hard! >.<
  274.  
  275. 68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  276.  
  277. I'm gay, she's gay, but we're different gay ._. As in, I'm a guy into guys and she's a girl into girls. But still there's tension between us sometimes, it's like we get drunk when it gets dark or something. Hrr, you're making me speak so openly more and more with each question. I hate that.
  278.  
  279. 69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  280.  
  281. I love orgasms, really. It's great, thrilling feeling. I have no idea how she feels so eh. I never tried before speaking fluently.
  282.  
  283. 70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  284.  
  285. Yes. We don't talk about sex because it gets me horny. Again, thanks a lot for bringing it up.
  286.  
  287. 71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  288.  
  289. Hum... An unwanted blowjob would be pretty rude. I don't think she'd be able to do more than that, I'd run away.
  290.  
  291. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  292.  
  293. Here, still hanging around in my new fancy clothes and I think I'll grow my hair out! :D
  294.  
  295. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  296.  
  297. We've decided to keep me a secret for now. I don't have any anxieties of being revealed to someone. I trust she can choose wisely who she tells about me, now.
  298.  
  299. 74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  300.  
  301. She tried, lol. I turned out quite the opposite from what she had planned.
  302.  
  303. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  304.  
  305. I chose that too. She made me a fox at first but I wanted a human form so now I'm a furry (of sort?) with fox ears and tail but otherwise human appearance. I like it a lot.
  306.  
  307. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  308.  
  309. I told her to change it and showed her what I wanted to look like, and that was it. She was a bit annoyed by it, I think, but she adapted quickly.
  310.  
  311. 77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  312.  
  313. Hmm... Probably their subconscious, because she recently noticed how much I resemble her favorite character from a comic she draws.
  314.  
  315. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  316.  
  317. Hah, no. I feel more special this way.
  318.  
  319. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  320.  
  321. I'd say: Fuck you, I never need to take a shit :D 'cuz that's just gross.
  322.  
  323. 80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  324.  
  325. What I don't like about being a tulpa is not being able to touch stuff... I want to touch everything. And steal shit from unsuspecting people. The greatest advantage is that I'm special to my host. We have an unique bond no outsider can understand.
  326.  
  327. 81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  328.  
  329. I don't understand the question...
  330.  
  331. 82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  332.  
  333. ... Huh. I think it's... Not equivalent, but not really nice either. We're not really human, I know that. We don't need legal protections, because we have the laws our hosts set upon us. My host is my life, and if she wants me out of it so be it. To keep my host from destroying me would be torture for both of us.
  334.  
  335. 83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  336.  
  337. I don't know. I feel like I'm important to her, and probably her closest friend of all time, but I don't know about my life's worth. I suppose it's less, because I only exist to one person.
  338.  
  339. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  340.  
  341. I'd switch with my host and slap that fucker :D ( I don't know how to switch, lol )
  342.  
  343. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  344.  
  345. Nah.
  346.  
  347. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  348.  
  349. I don't. That'd be silly. I'm more afraid she'll doubt me.
  350.  
  351. 87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  352.  
  353. I don't like death at all. It's awful, but I don't fear it, really. It's hard to explain.
  354.  
  355. 88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  356.  
  357. I don't, really. I think I'm so different from any non-tulpa that it doesn't even matter ._.
  358.  
  359. 89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  360.  
  361. I have created one tulpa, L, whom I created with the help of my host. I don't want to do that ever again.
  362. I think he was still primarily related to my host, because I fucked him, that'd be incest if he was related to me.
  363.  
  364. 90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  365.  
  366. The need to pee and shit, and eat, and sleep... And that non-tulpa's have a body of their own. I don't think there's intolerance.
  367.  
  368. 91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  369.  
  370. If it's not bad for you, it's not an illness. That's my definition. I'm certainly not doing any bad for my host.
  371. In my presentation I would tell them I'm a tulpa, and I've been willingly forced into existence. I would also tell about all the things I've done for my host to make her life better, and... some other shit.
  372.  
  373. 92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
  374.  
  375. ... I really don't understand this question...
  376.  
  377. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  378.  
  379. Oh hell yeah. And pleasure too, and other stuff.
  380.  
  381. 94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  382.  
  383. I think it's great. I'm so special <3
  384.  
  385. 95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  386.  
  387. I went on a trip with L to make him feel better, and it took me about 2 months to get back from there. It was for a good cause, since L is now happily independent somewhere in the most distant part of my hosts brain that he's probably never coming back.
  388.  
  389. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  390.  
  391. Umh... Perverted stuff. And butterflies. ... Never perverted stuff about butterflies, though.
  392.  
  393. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  394.  
  395. No... Wrong types of people could get into it and just get themselves hurt. Or their tulpas. No no.
  396.  
  397. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  398.  
  399. None that I know of.
  400.  
  401. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  402.  
  403. I don't know... I guess I'd have to experience this to know for sure.
  404.  
  405. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  406.  
  407. She doesn't. We're pretty open with each other.
  408.  
  409. 101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  410.  
  411. ... No...? I guess...? .-.
  412.  
  413. 102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  414.  
  415. I do believe a tulpa can use the information the host has more wisely than the host, but that doesn't concern me, since both host and I are really stupid and I am even more stupid than she is :D
  416.  
  417. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  418.  
  419. I might want to grow a beard when I'm 30. I want to look the same age as my host.
  420. I hope she doesn't grow a beard...
  421.  
  422. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  423.  
  424. Nooo. She'd be doomed.
  425.  
  426. 105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  427.  
  428. I don't. Not to me at least.
  429.  
  430. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  431.  
  432. Probably not... It sounds pretty far fetched, but when you get deeper into it, it's not that far fetched anymore.
  433.  
  434. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  435.  
  436. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  437.  
  438. -She can't hear me that well, but she can hear my voice as a different mind voice.
  439.  
  440. If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  441.  
  442. -Am not imposed.
  443.  
  444. 108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  445.  
  446. Hummmmm really hard to say, we didn't count.
  447.  
  448. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  449.  
  450. Be patient, it'll work out well for both of you if you are :D Don't expect too much from your tulpa and let them grow into the shape they want to.
  451.  
  452. 110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  453.  
  454. Am not imposed.
  455.  
  456. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  457.  
  458. ---
  459.  
  460. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  461.  
  462. Meh.
  463.  
  464. Appendix one:
  465.  
  466.         This exercise will help you determine the differences, if any, between your writeprint (mathematically analyzed writing style) and your creator's. Theoretically, two psychologically different individuals should exhibit different writeprints, although a tulpa and their creator may be more similar than two random non-tulpa individuals. To start the process, have both you and your creator rewrite the sample paragraph quoted below in your own words, communicating its meaning as you would have if you had written it.
  467.  
  468.         "My experience in the nature study area was full of surprises. First of all, many unexpected creatures crossed our path. For example, as soon as we left the parking area and entered the grassy path, a long snake slithered along the edge of the high grass and quickly disappeared. In addition, I was surprised by how colorful the grasses, which from a distance all appear to be green, actually are. Specifically, the primarily green landscape is dotted with countless purple tassels and brown stalks. Finally and most importantly, I was unprepared for how quickly I felt surrounded by nature. Despite the occasional noise from passing cars and airplanes, the high prairie grasses and rolling pathways create a sense that one is removed from civilization. Altogether, the nature study area unexpectedly allows one to enjoy an ever-changing natural environment without leaving Moraine‚Äôs suburban campus."
  469.  
  470. Tulpa's paragraph:
  471.  
  472. [paragraph here]
  473.  
  474. Creator's paragraph:
  475.  
  476. [paragraph here]
  477.  
  478.         To ensure verifiable results, it is essential that the transcriptions of both paragraphs be completely accurate. Body possession is useful here, though not necessary. Since the tulpa creator's sentience is (presumably) not in question, it is suggested that tulpa write their paragraph first. As with all tests relating to tulpa, the creator should focus on something else while their tulpa is working. Once finished, submit both of your paragraphs individually to the following websites:
  479.  
  480. http://iwl.me/
  481. http://textalyser.net
  482.  
  483.         If your writeprint is different (indicating significant psychological difference), then you should receive different values for your respective paragraphs on both sites. On Textalyser, focus on the Gunning-Fog Index, lexical density, and average sentence length values in particular. A more detailed analysis may be sought by downloading the JStylo stylometric analysis program here: https://psal.cs.drexel.edu/index.php/Main_Page
  484.  
  485.         This test is certainly not exact, and it is very possible to (unconsciously or not) "cheat" to get good results.
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