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ON GRIEF AND HEALING TRANSCRIPT

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  1. On grief and healing for Robert Gibson senior
  2. I deleted the video of my dad out my phone today
  3. I looked at the time, forgot when I looked away
  4. I deleted the video of my dad out my phone today
  5. My thumb smothered the button, his face faded away
  6. I don't like goodbyes anymore
  7. I force myself to say see you soon, or later
  8. One of us will be on the other side of a casket,
  9. I typed a poem about death and yo
  10. where my dad went  
  11. I opened my grandfather's urn on the dining room table
  12. in September, I opened my father's too
  13. my mother say life is crazy we lost both our fathers in the same year
  14. we step out the house and a voice says ‘you're missing him’
  15. I stumbled across the yard, hope she's too far to see there's only two of us now
  16. I'm stuck, in a golden ray of the Evening Sun
  17. Dad, would want me to move
  18. I can hear him now, coaching from the sky
  19. you either get busy living or get busy dying
  20. tonight I am beside a graveyard, reading poems of grief and healing
  21. I finished Erin Hayes’ Blues procession
  22. he wrote the piece for his uncle Bubba born in 1953 same year as my father
  23. who asked me to tell his story as the cancer nodded the veinacross his temple
  24. I prayed with Mama real good before the ambulance escorts him to Richmond Community Hospital
  25. i catched the pride in his voice when he say this place used to be run by blacks
  26. he said when I die burned my ass
  27. we bring him home in a box under a wreath of flowers in the living room
  28. the coffee table crowded with sympathy cards
  29. I see us on separate couches,
  30. watching the VHS of his brother sobbing over his father's body
  31. I keep my eye on the TV but wonder what he's thinking, and he says
  32. ‘isn't that something’, we crying over his shell but his spirit already gone
  33. I'm with the homies and a circle around the fire
  34. the ones who know death laugh the hardest,
  35. cheeks drawn back his curtains revealing teeth,
  36. maybe courage is having the strength to find the fears that are taking up too much space and press Delete
  37. I deleted a video of my dad out my phone today
  38. he lives through me, the sky reveals his face,
  39. little Robert don't fear, mama here, papa here,
  40. Margaret Thomas Richard too, Gibson clan we hand to you
  41. we sit with Biggie Angelou, teach the kiddies
  42. hand them truth and the juice of honeysuckles
  43. south of the border, Columbia summers
  44. rumbling Thunder of 4th of July
  45. bottling rockets and sparkling eyes
  46. remember the time, apple tree in the front dump
  47. take inside, I'm a sip of cold one
  48. I'm going to lean on a ride
  49. I'm going to leave when I god damn feel like it
  50. Still fighting, my body, the bottle,
  51. my body, The glass, filled with spirit and empty again,
  52. maybe the cancer, maybe the meds,
  53. maybe the doctors, maybe I'm dead
  54. but you keep me alive, so it's gonna be alright
  55. put your faith in God, I see Your might
  56. put your suits in the cleaners son,
  57. increase your stride, invest in yourself
  58. and you're gonna see your light,
  59. we renamed you rob so believe your height man
  60. when you’re writing, and feel a tap on the shoulder
  61. that's me, that's me
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