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  1. twenty four, four twenty,
  2.  
  3. Are you cinderella-betty, let me guess, is-that-because I’m your princess, no, that’s-because your dress will disappear at midnight,
  4.  
  5. John F kennedy,
  6.  
  7. reversal, The perfect insult,
  8.  
  9. Real couples-have sex on TV for new reality show, well-that just sounds-like porn with extra steps,
  10.  
  11. France no longer has trees tall enough-to rebuild Notre dame’s roof as-it wahs, third world forests,
  12.  
  13. Me at 3 am thinking-about-that time I tried-to wash a paper plate eight years ago,
  14.  
  15. When you help your homie on test, carefully, he’s a hero, but he-somehow gets a higher grade, I guide others-to a treasure-that I cannot possess,
  16.  
  17. 9 year old friend, say alpha Q really fast without stopping, me, alpha q alpha q alpha q, friend, you want-to fuck me, me, when did I eve friend, you fool, you fell victim-to one of-the classic blunders,
  18.  
  19. Are you-the left, nah he’s my homie, you want his number, ha ha o you’ve turned love matcher, what a story-that could-be, well I mean-if you’re not into me, I may as well help out-the boys, his name-is mahx, he’s-even cuter in person,
  20.  
  21. I guide others-to a treasure I cannot possess,
  22.  
  23. When you use your younger sibling’s phone-and you see two calculators, not bad kid,
  24.  
  25. Friend, this-isn’t caesar salad, me, you don’t-have a fucking clue-about history,
  26.  
  27. Me showing girls my collection of failures,
  28.  
  29. Me, stranger introduces himself, friend, remind me-what-is his name again, me, good question,
  30.  
  31. When a cute girl accidentally-touches your hand, ay-to nut,
  32.  
  33. I’m a brave boy, cave 13, minecraft cave-sounds, not a brave enough boy for-this,
  34.  
  35. Me-and my brother, finds two sticks-that are just right, me, you know-what-to do, me-and him 10 seconds later,
  36.  
  37. Boys-have swag, men-have class, I-have diabetes,
  38.  
  39. Spiderman, gentleman with arachnid abilities, dust,
  40.  
  41. Thousands of years of Chinese dynasties, Britain, opium,
  42.  
  43. Toronto man fakes a nine one one call-and tries-to steal a fire truck, florida man, first time,
  44.  
  45. My dog, a piece of food on-the floor, me,
  46.  
  47. God, were you religious, me, when I was 11 I looked up aphrodite e-to see naked girls, god,
  48.  
  49. Water, is cold, my balls,
  50.  
  51. When your crush doesn’t magically know-that you-like-them-and starts dating-someone else, maybe I’m just meant-to-be lonely,
  52.  
  53. Me looking for an answer for one question online, finding-the answers-to-the entire sheet,
  54.  
  55. When your sister forces you-to spend time with her new boyfriend,
  56.  
  57. Me immediately-after masturbation, touches dick,
  58.  
  59. my dick, you are doing-that-too much, try again in eight minutes,
  60.  
  61. 1980s, I-bet-there will-be flying cars in-the future, 2019, how-to-solve-the one-by 1 rubik’s cube,
  62.  
  63. Nobody, 69 year olds, a 69 year old man fails-to smuggle-tortoises disguised as pastries into Berlin airport,
  64.  
  65. What scientists thought of dinosaurs in-the 80’s-to 90’s, what scientists think of dinosaurs now,
  66.  
  67. Europeans waking up-to all-the-top gear meem's, they are-the funniest creatures on earth, aren’t-they,
  68.  
  69. americans,
  70.  
  71. Parents, all teens do-is drugs, alcohol-and take self e's, teens i r l, I sexually identify as a failure,
  72.  
  73. Woman goes blind in one eye-after playing mobile game all day, pc gamers, pathetic,
  74.  
  75. When you’re watching end game-and you see a meemable scene, write-that down, write-that down,
  76.  
  77. Literally no one, inside edition, is breathing safe,
  78.  
  79. 12 year old me trying-to find my pulse in biology class,
  80.  
  81. I’m out-having dinner-and-this woman outside was-being blinded-by-the sunset-so her date propped a menu-behind his head,
  82.  
  83. on-the collar of his shirt, to block-the sun from her eyes-and I am-sobbing, so romance-isn’t dead-after all,
  84.  
  85. Embarrassing things I did as a child, my brain-while I’m trying-to sleep,
  86.  
  87. When people only-like-the happiness doggo-and not-the angry doggo, angry noise,
  88.  
  89. Question, just how quickly can you say-the alphabet backwards, roughly as fast as I can say-it forwards, I’m not-that fast with other things though, oh, do tell more, I’m retarded,
  90.  
  91. The rest of europe, what happened-to those 10 million plus civilians, joseph stalin, good question,
  92.  
  93. Samsung releases a foldable phone, case manufactures,
  94.  
  95. This trash bin has a sad backstory,
  96.  
  97. When you throw your phone on-the-bed-and-it starts competing for olympic high jump gold medal,
  98.  
  99. Oh boy I cant wait-to show off my new blue headband on piru street in Compton california,
  100.  
  101. When you realize-the mods-have-to see end game spoilers-to protect-the rest of us,
  102.  
  103. Weebs who speak japanese, comrad who speaks russian, me, who knows fluent enchanting table,
  104.  
  105. The phenomenon of crown shyness, where trees avoid-touching, nobody, my dinner plate-when I was a kid cause I didn’t want my food-to-touch,
  106.  
  107. Porn hub launches-bee-themed channel-to raise money for-bee conservation, ya-like jizz,
  108.  
  109. Your clash of clans village-is-being raided, by,
  110.  
  111. Pop stars hair styles per era, madonna, Re ah nah, Britney spears, lady gaga,
  112.  
  113. Kay tee perry, Ariana grahnday,
  114.  
  115. Florida man steals a car, realizes a baby-is in-it, drops baby off safely, and makes his get away, you are bad guy, but-this does not mean you are bad guy,
  116.  
  117. Sweet jesus, derp, that’s not honey, you’re eating 2011 meem's, fffffuuuu,
  118.  
  119. When-the computer says press any-button-to continue-so you press-the off-button,
  120.  
  121. Frantically waving hands-and chasing down ice cream truck, hey wait, what’ll-it-be lady, out of breath, nothing, just wanted-to tell you I don’t watch game of thrones,
  122.  
  123. Karen, no tah toos thanks, my body-is a temple, temples,
  124.  
  125. Do I get a piano tutorial, I was one of your first 100 subscribers, mr cube we love you, thanks for sticking around man, that’s neither a yes-or a no, this-is-like getting friend zoned,
  126.  
  127. 172 other countries, metric system, america,
  128.  
  129. Electronic arts, no microtransactions, no loot boxes, E Ay, oh, they got-this all screwed up, no mighcro transactions? no, loot boxes,
  130.  
  131. Me, my mom checking-if I’m asleep, my ds under my pillow,
  132.  
  133. That one ugly ass friend-that’s always fly as fuck,
  134.  
  135. Come in, it’s open, you fool, you fell victim-to one of-the classic blunders, beg for your weird knife in spanish,
  136.  
  137. Guinea pig-to-become father-to 400-after breaking into female enclosure,
  138.  
  139. Stoner, could you bring-some edibles-to-the party, me, no worries mate, I’m all-about-the four twenty, four n twenty party pies,
  140.  
  141. I’m franken stighn’s monster, you don’t seem-like a monster, I own land,
  142.  
  143. When you get-to-the Bible verse first, I am speed,
  144.  
  145. Austria-when fighting prussia, austria-when fighting france, austria-when fighting-the ottomans, austria-when fighting austria,
  146.  
  147. When you kill a slime in minecraft, ah shit, here we go again,
  148.  
  149. Five year olds-when-the characters in-the TV show start kissing,
  150.  
  151. Me at-the store, mom, can I-have minecraft, mom, no, we-have games at home, games at home,
  152.  
  153. When-the Chinese clan-is destroying your clan in clan wars-so your clan renames-itself June 4 1989 tee ah nahn men square massacre, my strateegical mind-beats you in every way possible,
  154.  
  155. My iPhone was stolen-and every time-they take a picture-it gets up loaded-to my iCloud, if you know who-this-is please help, that man has an RPG, you’re not getting your phone back,
  156.  
  157. Everybody, incest-is disgusting-and should-be punished, the kids of adam-and eve,
  158.  
  159. Teenage white girl, I-have depression, me, did you get diagnosed-by a-therapist, teenage white girl, I do not understand-that word-and-therefore-it-is meaningless,
  160.  
  161. Been following-this truck for several hours, I’ll keep you guys updated,
  162.  
  163. I edited-this comment-so-the replies make no sense, that’s-the evilest thing I can imagine,
  164.  
  165. Literally everyone else, me,
  166.  
  167. Anti vaxed kids-when-they turn 5, oh, yeah, I shouldn’t exist,
  168.  
  169. Repair-and name, stone, stone infinity, enchantment cost, 4, what did-it cost, 4,
  170.  
  171. Fuck-this, I give up, this cooking shit-is fucking hard y’all,
  172.  
  173. When you share all your pens in class, but no one returns-them, communism hasn’t worked,
  174.  
  175. My girl was in labor, but-when my homies need a 4th you already know I’m-there,
  176.  
  177. When-it’s a slow night-so your manager says one of-the kitchen staff can go home early,
  178.  
  179. When you show a Face book mom a meme without minions, what’s-the joke,
  180.  
  181. Thank you big bro, for downloading minecraft on my computer,
  182.  
  183. Don’t cry babe, it’s just a movie, don’t cry babe, it’s just your whole minecraft inventory,
  184.  
  185. Turning into my father, turning into my mother,
  186.  
  187. Schools, the mighto kondria-is-the powerhouse of-the cell, me, ok cool, but how do taxes work, schools, good question,
  188.  
  189. When you favorite billionaire meem lord changes his twitter eye con-to an ani may character, you were-the chosen one,
  190.  
  191. Fallen-soldier dies on-the battlefield 1945 colorized,
  192.  
  193. Why does Oregon’s strength coach look-like he’s gonna ask-what IPAs are on tap,
  194.  
  195. When your sister forces you-to spend time with her new boyfriend,
  196.  
  197. One burned you alive-and-thee other one electrocuted you with static,
  198.  
  199. What album-is on-this CD, it’s just one-song-and-it’s fireflies-by owl city,
  200.  
  201. Worlds largest kahoot, have more than 50k people join, waste 50k people’s time-because cahoot won’t work,
  202.  
  203. Spotify, on shuffle, me, then fucking act-like-it, I’ve shuffled-the-songs, you didn’t shuffle shit, I’ve shuffled-them,
  204.  
  205. Americans, four twenty, europeans, twentieth of april 2019,
  206.  
  207. T i 84 graphing calculator, 1 plus 4,
  208.  
  209. People with foot fetishes are buying silicone feet with built in vagina's, every day, we stray further from god,
  210.  
  211. When-the minimum wage worker makes a slight mistake, you are challenged-by elite four karen,
  212.  
  213. Fire at notre dame cathedral, sad crusader noise,
  214.  
  215. Dr strange visiting all 14,000,605 realities, ah shit, here we go again,
  216.  
  217. Wise man, tell me-the secrets of-the universe, wet dreams are just hand jobs from god,
  218.  
  219. This format-is-better than-the Lisa Simpson one-because-somebody risked-their dignity-to make-this template,
  220.  
  221. The U S going from good friday-to four twenty-to easter in-the same weekend, par core,
  222.  
  223. Dad, hit-this shit, girl, dad, I’m 8, mom, four twenty blaze-it bitch,
  224.  
  225.  
  226. Me, disables wigh figh-and mobile data-to-bypass ads on a mobile game, game, shows ads anyways, me, confused screaming,
  227.  
  228. Patient, I feel-like u’m invisible-to people, psychologist, who said-that,
  229.  
  230. My grades, me, reddit,
  231.  
  232. Atheists-like, this uncle dave,
  233.  
  234. 4 months progress, what-the fuck at-the first pic,
  235.  
  236. Me, I don’t-have a type, my exes,
  237.  
  238. When you spin on your dick-like a helicopter-and-the judge adds 10 more years-to your sentence, are you not entertained,
  239.  
  240. The doctor, me, my mom,
  241.  
  242. Just-to-be clear, ant man will not-be crawling into thah noses ass hole-and-then expand in avengers end game, pathetic,
  243.  
  244. Average number of deaths per day in-the world, 150 thousand, when you realize-some of-the people would-have woken up thinking-they were going-to watch end game,
  245.  
  246. Dude in 2012, bro-if notre dame ever burns down I’ll eat an entire car, dude in 2019,
  247.  
  248. I don’t give a rat’s patoot-what-today-is, I-better not catch you smoking any doo bee's,
  249.  
  250. Literally every teenage girl, insults dr Phil on his show, dr phil, you dare oppose me mortal,
  251.  
  252. Therapist, how-have you-been managing your symptoms, me, clink clink bitch,
  253.  
  254. It’s my lucky day y’all, what-if-the change we find in-between cushions of couches are from spiders try nah pay rent,
  255.  
  256. When you feel your ass crack-itching in public,
  257.  
  258. Me, mom, can we-have McDonalds, mom, no, we-have food at home, food at home,
  259.  
  260. When you randomly pause a youTube video-and accidentally Create a new meme format,
  261.  
  262. Nobody, dogs inside of cars,
  263.  
  264. Feet, exist, literally every fucking artist on deviant art, delicious, finally, some good fucking food,
  265.  
  266. Me-while watching avengers end game, oh stan lee, I wish you could see-this,
  267.  
  268. Dried cum, see ment, cumcrete
  269.  
  270. Avengers, end game includes Stan lee’s final cameo, says Joe russo,
  271.  
  272. I am not ready-to-be without you,
  273.  
  274. Siri how early-is-too early for a fuh lah full,
  275.  
  276. Red blood cells-when I give a presentation in front of-the whole class, on my way woody,
  277.  
  278. Ah shit wah dup, here come dat boy again,
  279.  
  280. Gamer girls-today, will-be mothers-that will understand an online game can’t-be paused,
  281.  
  282. Firefighters who saved Notre dame, any christian, god,
  283.  
  284. When you finally meet your online girlfriend, ahhh, I see you’re a man as well,
  285.  
  286. Why can’t you just-be normal, falls,
  287.  
  288. Me, can we get comedy, mom, no, we-have comedy at home, comedy at home,
  289.  
  290. The word sehx, exists, literally every 5th grader,
  291.  
  292. Uber driver, takes a wrong turn, youTubers, uber driver kidnapped us, seriously, lighve footage,
  293.  
  294. Listening at a high volume for a long time may damage your hearing, tap ok-to allow-the volume-to-be increased above safe levels, me, I don’t remember asking you a god damn thing,
  295.  
  296. Nobody, minecraft villagers,
  297.  
  298. Private-social media accounts of my crush, me, let me in, let me in,
  299.  
  300.  
  301. When you realize-the mods are going-to have end game spoiled for-them-to protect us,
  302.  
  303. Hey, sorry I had a lot of shit going on, how has your day-been, I said, how-the fuck has-it-been bitch,
  304.  
  305. When you’re eight-and jump down-the four last steps, par core,
  306.  
  307. Me, may I use-the bathroom, my teacher, I don’t know, can yuh wait-what, me, my strateegical mind-beats you in every way possible,
  308.  
  309. Germany, fixes one broken down helicopter, literally-the entire world, is-that a threat,
  310.  
  311. When you try-to pass a silent fart in public-and end up shitting your pants, into exile, I must go, failed, I-have,
  312.  
  313. Everything, exists, black holes, this-is-some serious gourmet shit,
  314.  
  315. Normal-song, exists, trap nation,
  316.  
  317. Me, watches movie with very brief sex scene, my parents who I-haven’t seen all day,
  318.  
  319.  Top 10 people ighn stighn was scared-to face,
  320.  
  321. Nobody, tech youTubers,
  322.  
  323. People, stops vaccinating kids, medieval diseases, ah shit, here we go again,
  324.  
  325. Rich people, poor people, your actually a savage-if you pressed read more, now you-have great luck in 2019, like-to activate,
  326.  
  327. Y’all, four twenty, me, an intellectual, one fifth,
  328.  
  329. Life kicked my ass-today, it’s not gonna kick my ass-tomorrow, never mind-it’s kicking my ass,
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