A man pulled up to another man in his convertible. Then, rolling the window down, he said to him: “I’m Lonk from Pennsylvania, man. Want a ride? I got deku nuts, deku shrub, anything you want, man.” The second man walked to the other side of the car, got in on the passenger door, and sat down. Lonk drove off, got on the highway, and once he turned on the cruise control, he rolled a joint of the Deku shrub, passed it to the other, and said: “Man, do you like my car? I call it the King of the Red Lions, man. What are you called?”
“My friends call me Bane,” he said, “But the name given to me is Ganondorf.”
“Ganondorf, huh? Sounds familiar,” Lonk said, “Anyways, you want to smoke that or did I put too much on you?”
“Oh, no, it’s not you at all,” Ganondorf said, “I used to be the king, and now I am not. There is one thing I must do before I clear my mind and smoke this fat joint.”
“Two questions,” Lonk said, “You’re Gerudo, right? Lots of sexy amazon ladies, like a teauheau. Secondly, what?”
Ganondorf laughed, and said: “Yes, though I would phrase it a bit differently. Second, I wish to feel the wind again. It always leads to bad times with us.”
“Shit, man, I got a convertible for a reason,” Lonk said, “Stand up, I know this place, nothing you would get checked with. But if I start hearing Megalovania, I will trip you back down.”
“Do not worry, friend Lonk,” Ganondorf said, standing up. Once he stood up, feeling the wind and seeing the endless desert, he pulled down his pants and started jerking off. To what specifically, I do not know, but it was either Gerudo or Hylian lolis. Once he reached climax, he came, not a small amount of it landing over Lonk’s wind shield. He then sat down and continued: “That was it. It always brings death, so I would beat them to it.”
“La petite mort, man, so poetic. Now, let’s get high,” he said, grabbing the joint from Ganondorf’s seat, lighting it, and taking a long toke. They beat on against the road, not beating off, unaware that they were going the wrong way, and 75 in a 40.