Advertisement
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up,
it unlocks many cool features!
- This happened some years ago.
- Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering who to invade next when his telephone rang. “Hallo! Mr. Hussein,” a heavily accented voice said. “This is Paddy down in County Cavan, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!”
- “Well, Paddy,” Saddam replied, “This is indeed important news! Tell me, how big is your army?”
- “At this moment in time,” said Paddy after a moment’s calculation, “there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbour Gerry, and the entire dominoes team from the pub-that makes 8!”
- Saddam sighed. “I must tell you Paddy that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.”
- “Begorra!”, said Paddy, “I’ll have to ring you back!”
- Sure enough, the next day Paddy rang back. “Right Mr.Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some equipment!”
- “And what equipment would that be, Paddy?” Saddam asked.
- “Well, we have 2 combine harvesters, a bulldozer and Murphy’s tractor from the farm.”
- Once more Saddam sighed. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16 thousand tanks, 14 thousand armored personnel carriers, and my army has increased to a million and a half since we last spoke.”
- “Oh dear!” said Paddy “I’ll have to ring you back!”
- Paddy rang again the next day. “Right Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We’ve modified Ted’s ultralight with a couple of rifles in the cockpit and the bridge team has joined us as well!”
- Saddam was silent for a minute, then sighed. “I must tell you Paddy that I have 100 bombers, 20 squadrons of MiG 19 attack planes, my military complex is surrounded by laser-guided surface-to-air missile sites, and since we last spoke, my army has increased to two million.”
- “Faith and begorra!”, said Paddy, “I’ll have to ring you back.”
- Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. “Right Mr.Hussein, I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.”
- “I’m sorry to hear that” said Saddam. “Why the sudden change of heart?”
- “Well,” said Paddy “We’ve all had a chat, and there’s no way we can feed 2 million prisoners of war.”
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement