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Feb 18th, 2017
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  1. Hi all, /u/LawyerDank here.
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  3. Some of you might be wondering why I created a throwaway for seemingly no purpose other than....well, what exactly could it be for? Could it be parody, could it be to mock the late /u/jewdank, could it just be that I really like the work "dank"? I'll get to that in a second.
  4. But anyways, I'm an /r/drama user and I've been following the /u/jewdankdrama from the beginning. The Whittney Wisconsin shit, the modding., the feud with /u/snallygaster, the south park gifs, the boyfriend alts, the "blocked" saga, the /u/teenage_waistband, drama, and so on and so forth.
  5. I think that she's a decently attractive girl., but obviously needs serious mental help. She is a classic example of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and what I suspect to be Histrionic Personality Disorder. Though I don't loathe her as much as some on this sub do, I thought that she seriously needed a break from reddit and, as I mentioned earlier, mental help.
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  7. I decided to take matters into my own hands when she threatened to take legal action against /r/drama. For those of you unaware, Noodles aka Dildoe_swagginz aka Broot_force aka the dog collar FPH mod aka the creepy doxxer and impersonater who has been permanently banned from reddit, was the intended target of this legal action. On the /r/drama discord, he impersonated/r/drama mod and ass eating maestro /u/riemann1413, using IIRC the same user ID and profile pic riemann uses in the discord chat. He proceeded to tell the chat that he lived in Chicago, near jewdank, that he had been fantasizing about killing her and raping the corpse, and that he planned to carry out his twisted fantasy. Eventually, he was found out and kicked off the discord too, but not before Jewdank got word of his fuckery.
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  9. Scared that an incel Asian teenager would soon be breaking into her home and murder-raping her, Jewdank made a post on her sub seeking for legal counsel from her userbase, asking if there were any lawyers in the Chicago area on her sub. I decided that I was going to have me a party, and penned this account. I PM'd her, claiming to be an attorney who had been practicing in the Chicagoland area for over 10 years. She quickly responded back and asked if there was any way I could 1) get a court order for reddit to reveal the identity of the creep, and 2) whether what he said could be considered a death threat in the court of law. I bullshitted and told her that discord, not reddit, would be the ones who could potentially be held liable for its' users content.
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  11. I then got her to give me her phone number so that I could stay in touch with her. Later that day, I skyped an old friend of mine. I saw that Jewdank had been added to my contacts. Her full name was user user ID. I quickly googled facebook profiles with her name, and I found one in Chicago which looked exactly like her. No NSFW content, just stuff which basic white bitches post on social media. As innocent as a dove. No mention of her work in the adult industry. She had all of her friends and family on there, and no one who I could discern out to be her "followers". For all purposes, she was just a liberal arts student going to a school in Chicago.
  12. From her facebook, I found out who her employer was and several of her family members. I then sent her doxxable information to her via text and threatened to tell her family and employer that she 1) did adult work 2) her reddit username.
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  14. She didn't take it lightly at all. She sent me several paranoid texts to me in a couple of minutes, pleading for me not to do, it, saying that I could ruin her future and any attempts at a legitimate career. At first, I told her that she had already ruined her future by becoming a porn star in the first place, and that she would be doomed to a life of sluttiness (sorry, my word choice is off, long day at work and all). Them, I promised not to send this information to the persons of interest if she 1) deleted her reddit account 2) sought mental help. At first, she was extremely hesitant and spiteful, complaining that the meanies on reddit had destroyed her "brand image" and whatnot. But within 48 hours of me sending the last text, she had posted on /t/hiphopheads and had gotten shit on there too, for failing to refund her followers. She then proceeded to take my advice and delete her account.
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  16. I haven't contacted her since, and I genuinely hope that she's becoming a better person and realizes her past mistakes. I believe that everybody, even the most despicable of people, can take steps to better themselves.
  17. Do I feel guilty about blackmailing her? Not at all. I feel as if I did the right thing.
  18. Do you?
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