From Makeover To Makeouts (M4M version)
SeerOfVoid May 19th, 2019 (edited) 80 Never
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- From Makeover To Makeouts
- Hey, buddy! Thanks for letting me invite myself over. I know, I know, I was really cryptic on the phone, but trust me. When have I ever let you down before?
- OK, take me to your bedroom.
- Jesus, your face. I didn't mean THAT. Your bedroom is where your clothes are, right? Right! So it's makeover time.
- Don't give me that look. We're both single for the first time since we met, and I am determined to get you laid. You've been single for two months and there's loads of guys out there withering on the vine, awaiting you to.... pluck them?
- Yes, I know, I'm hilarious. You LOVE my wordplay!
- Whaddya mean you don't need a makeover? Oh, man. I'm here to tell you, you most certainly do. Look, man, I love you. You know that. But you put zero effort into looking attractive.
- Yes, yes, I know I know. "Uhhhh, errrrrm, I want a guy who loves me for MYSELF!" That's nice, Romeo, but why not increase your chances by at least looking RESPECTABLE?
- Ohhhh no. No no no. You wearing the same jeans for two weeks and what would appear to be an endless supply of t-shirts with punk band logos on 'em is not "respectable". I'm not saying you have to dress in a linen suit all the time, but I AM saying you can put a MINIMUM OF EFFORT into it.
- Look at it this way: Right now, you have a pool of potential smooch-buddies out there who are OK with you being the real-life version of Pig Pen from the Peanuts comics. That pool isn't empty, but it is pretty shallow. But if you dressed better and took care of yourself, that pool would get deeper because you'd be noticed by more people. That's just MATH, stupid.
- Oh puh-leeeeeeeeeze. "But I don't care what guys look like! I like smart, funny guys!" Look, I'm not saying that's not true - I've known you long enough to know that you absolutely value intelligence and senses of humor in your partners. Well, maybe not the LAST one. Sheesh, he was as dumb as a bag full of Republicans. Anyway, he's gone and good riddance. Dumb bastard. Remember when he loudly told the whole party that he didn't think Citizen Kane was THAT good of a movie? Ooooh, settle down, Mister Edgelord! I can't handle these mind-blowing opinions based on nothing!
- Sorry, where was I? Oh, right, making fun of you. OK, let me guess what smart, funny guys you like. David Tennant? John Barrowman? Benedict Cumberbatch? THOSE ARE ALL HOTTIES, YOU DOOFUS. Oh, and by the way, fuuuuuuuuck Benedict Cumberbatch. Seriously! He's so overblown! He's a monster with a human face. Shit, do you know how often I have to hear people praise his arse? "Oh look at me, I sooo good at playing introverted and slightly weird smart people". I'm fucking all of that but do you see fan boys lining up at my front door? I think the fuck not!
- YES I'M RILED UP. Admit to yourself that you like guys that are PRETTY as well as smart and funny. ADMIT IT or I'll punch you in the shoulder and then punch you again!
- There, THAT wasn't so hard was it? You fucking dick. And, sure, I get it. You think you're ugly. You don't HAVE to say it, dummy. I'm your best friend. I can see it in everything you do. Deep down you think finding a guy attractive just based on his looks is somehow insulting. Right?
- I KNEW IT! Dude, that's the dumbest fucking thing.... Is there no difference in your mind between LOOKING and CATCALLING? Do you know that in the proper context - like on a FUCKING DATE WITH YOU - he might actually WANT a sex muffin like you to look at him? Or even just say "Mmmmm your body's hecka-slammin"? Yes, shut up, all hot guys in my mind talk like Prince in 1987.
- Holy shit, remember when we did that double date one time? The guy, can't remember his name, was throwing everything he had at you. YES HE WAS! One time he literally giggled and bit his pinkie finger playfully like a coy little sex bunny or whatever . AT THE TABLE. He did everything except make a sign saying FUCK ME with an arrow pointing at her crotch.
- Remember what happened? You thought he was just being nice, didn't make a move. I had to take the poor guy to the bath room to explain that you're just incapable of making the first move because reasons so just jump him on the way home. And he did! So YOU'RE WELCOME.
- Wait, what? You.. you didn't know I thought you were hot? Jesus I said that like five minutes ago. Come on, I've told you I think you're hot before. I must have!
- I.... I NEVER have? Ummmmmm. Well, yeah. I think you're hot. Why wouldn't I? I just think you can be hotter with the tiniest amount of help. So lets start going through the closet...
- Oh, hey, you wore this the night we met! This is a nice shirt. Why don't you wear it anymore. "Uhhhhhh I dunno." Weirdo. Put it on, let's make sure it still fits.... Yeah, take off your shirt, dum dum. Do you not understand how clothes work?
- Well of course I remember what you were wearing when we met. Remember how we started talking at the bar and then you said you had a key to one of the buildings on campus so we snuck around after the bar closed and ended up on the roof and we talked and watched the sunrise together.
- It's funny. I really thought you were going to kiss me that night. But you never did.
- Yeah, I know. We were both seeing other people at the time. Still, it really felt like you were going to kiss me.
- I... wanted you to. And now we're both single, and you're shirtless, and...
- No, sorry. I'm being crazy. We're just friends and I somehow managed to blurt out my opinion of your hotness levels but I know you're not int--
- Mmmm mmmmm mmmmmm mmmmmm oh fuck yes kiss me mmmm MMMM MMMM yes I talk to much agreed mmmm mmmmm mmmm Jesus why did we take so long to kiss each other? More please mmmm mmmmm mmmmmm
- OH! My back's against the wall. You've pinned my arms above my head. I'm.... Helpless. So what do you wa-- mmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmm MMMMMM to do to me?
- Oh, my neck. Ohhhhhh great idea. I'm totally on board. I want to touch you but I CANT because you won't let me. But I can... press... my body to yours. You can feel my cock pushing through my pants, can't you? I have to grind my crotch against you...
- Mmmmmmm yes take my shirt off....
- Hey, wait! You... You used the shirt to tie my hands together! And you're leading me to the bed. Are you going to fuck me now?
- Then take off my pants. See how fucking hard you make me. See how ready for you I've always always been.
- That's right slide them off. My cock is fucking throbbing already. Do you see i-- OHHHH YOUR TONGUE FUCK FUCK DRINK ME EAT ME OHHHHHH FUCK YES I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT
- Pick me up. Throw me on the bed. Do it.
- Now tie my arms to the bed. Fuck do it now. There now I'm immobilized. I can't stop you from doing anything. Like grabbing my head ohhhhhh and fucking my face ohhh mmm mmmmmmmm ohhhh mmmmm mmmm yes yes let me suck it please mmmm mmmmm mmmm more please mmmmmm mmmmm mMmmmmMMMMM no don't come in my mouth not yet not for our first time.
- No. Shhhh. Listen. There's two things I want. I'm serious now. Two things.
- I want you to fill my arse with cum.
- And... I want to call you daddy. My daddy. My sweet hot fucking daddy. .... Can I?
- Ohhh thank you! Thank you daddy! I need you to fuck me now.
- Yes oh my god oh god oh god FUCK YES FUCK ME RAM THAT COCK INTO ME YES YES OHMYGOD HARDER FUCK ME HARDER HARDER! HARDER! Ohhhh I'm gonna cum yes already yes you are too yes ok are you ready for me daddy? Daddy please cum in me pleaseplease please please unnnnnnfff UNNNNNNNNGGGHHH imcummingimcummingimcumming yes fill my arse! Fill me! Oh my god....
- Oh. Oh daddy. That was so good.
- Oh hells yes that was "good for me too" you goober. I didn't scream into your ear canal loud enough?
- I'll tell you what though - I'm definitely still gonna teach you how to dress.
- Don't worry. You'll be in charge of making me... UN- dress.
- Hey, stop hitting me with that pillow! You LOVE wordplay!
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