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  1. Helen Chyeah
  2. do you hate me
  3. sorry for wasting your time then.
  5. about an hour agoRay Chyeah
  6. I'll speak to you, but I find it really hard not to hate you
  7. you spit in my face day after day
  8. so knowing all of what you've done, give me a reason not to hate you
  10. about an hour agoHelen Chyeah
  11. Not to be cliche but if you think I wasted all of your time
  12. I disagree
  13. I hate repeating that I am sorry
  14. this has been the most hectic time of my life, these last few months & I've experienced it with you
  15. we both learned a lot
  16. You broke up with me for the right reason
  17. I realized a lot today
  18. after alllllll of this
  19. I still have feelings for you but it's best if we're not together
  20. I am just not the girl for you
  21. You deserve someone who is going to shower you with affection & attention because it's what you do
  22. From the start, I should've just thought about things & maybe it would've worked out better
  23. personally, I don't think I can be in another relationship because they never end well & I can't stand seeing you hate me
  24. I have been really confused & overwhelmed lately & I can imagine things have been for you too
  25. I just want us to be okay
  27. about an hour agoRay Chyeah
  28. Ah...
  29. I'll explain myself in a second, John is telling me his life story right now.
  31. about an hour agoHelen Chyeah
  32. Alright
  34. about an hour agoRay Chyeah
  35. Alright, so
  36. You were always enough for me since the beginning - I never even wanted to end it with you.
  37. I was willing to endure this period as well as plenty more to come, I don't give a fuck about the way that you treat me.
  38. My choice to break up with you was after hearing it multiple times from multiple people - everyone, and by everyone, I mean both bandits and sprouts witnessed the way you treated me.
  39. Rae was flipping shit when she found out what you did to me on Paranormal Activity day.
  40. You just really don't consider feelings at all, which is my hugest problem - you don't even try.
  41. I had to sleep knowing that you were at Paulie's place, despite very recently having a bad trip because of you and him.
  42. When I broke up with you, we acted as if nothing happened in the first place, we made love, held hands, and the I love you's were flying out of our mouths as if we JUST fell in love.
  43. Then later tonight I have to see you grinding your ass against a fucking tiny ass cage, wearing booty shorts, and just 'doing you'.
  44. I couldn't even look at you without wanting to leave the venue, so David had to give me his gloves just so I'd have a good night.
  45. And then even then, you would fuck up and come up to me mentioning all the attention you got from guys while you were dancing like you wanted to get fucked in a cage.
  46. "Some guy grabbed my ass while I was dancing"
  47. "I got smoked up for dancing"
  48. Do you NOT think about what you say?
  49. Then at 4am I'm practically begged to leave the damn venue so I can take the damn train with you guys, and I ~think~ I'm going with you guys to Paulie's.
  50. I call David, Paulie stops me and tells me he can't bring me -- right, but you can bring my fucking ex-girlfriend who I JUST broke up with?
  51. And you kissing me before I left, but not once during the night - you send my mind in different directions and you don't even try to see despite what I supposedly mean to you.
  52. I tell people the story about what happened, and they consider me the nicest, most understanding individual for even keeping you in my life.
  53. And if you need to read and get a gist of what I hear from people, it's like this - this was between Rae and I:
  54. Me: Rae, you're gonna be the first Sprout to know, but I'm breaking up with Helen today.
  55. Rae: Honestly Rae, I'm glad you are. You don't deserve what she does to you. Like the way she treats you REALLY angers me. You have no idea.
  56. Me: I can tell, but I can't blame her. It's who she is and I love her with all of my heart. But I really want her to be without me to really think about us.
  57. Rae: Yeah, I feel you. Idk. I hope reality slaps her in the frace and she realizes what she's losing. And I'm not even trying to sound all harsh when I say that, don't get me wrong, I love the girl, but I really care about you and I don't like knowing that she hurts you. Ugh.
  58. Others didn't take it as well, and the reason that you were allowed over the bandit pad was because I was dating you again.
  59. But all that I'll quote from last night is, "How can anyone be friends with someone like that?"
  60. So I understand that you're going through hard times, but so are all of us. I cried with Greg and Kayla yesterday - no one has it easy. But that's like no excuse to not consider your actions.
  61. Because after I see you heading home with Paulie after gogo dancing the entire night, what am I SUPPOSED to feel?
  63. about an hour agoRay Chyeah
  64. You two try so hard to convince me that you're not into each other, but at this point, I think that you two are sleeping with each other night after night, and I'm probably right.
  65. I call you a waste of time because I barely know who you are anymore, Helen.
  66. Everyone knows that you are lost in yourself, but you make no effort towards being found - you are shaped by your surroundings, and that's your problem as a human.
  68. 57 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  69. Well, I am going home
  71. 57 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  72. And I'm sitting right next to Hammy, so he's gonna read all of this and I can really clear my mind for you.
  74. 57 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  75. probably this weekend
  76. I don't want to be in anymore relationships. I didn't want to be in one when you asked me out but I don't regret dating you but I do wish I could've treat you better
  77. We're two very different people
  78. You know what you want & you work towards it
  79. Unlike myself
  80. I know we all have issues
  81. & problems
  82. it's something I say all the time
  83. I just embrace them
  84. & it's isn't the best method because it's obviously making me into a troubled person
  85. Sucks that everyone thinks I'mhorrible
  86. I don't want people to be nice to me because of you or anything
  87. & I understand that you vent your feelings out to the family & it's good that they listen & support you
  88. but I feel like I am getting shunned by others
  89. & if they feel like that
  90. about me
  91. I will leave the family if you guys think it's for the best or whatever
  93. 45 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  94. I don't think you should leave.
  95. But I also think that Atlantic City is the wrong idea.
  96. I still love you Helen - I hate your tendencies, but I love you, and I will always love you.
  97. I hate knowing that we can't date because you can't show me love, because you've shown me a completely adequate amount of love after we got back together.
  98. I know that you are capable of being a good girlfriend, and I give you as much freedom as I possibly can as a male.
  99. We have still, till this day, never had a real vocal argument, I have never cursed you out, or told you you can't do anything that you want.
  101. 42 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  102. Funny thing, I thought about it today & I was a great girlfriend before I joined the scene.
  104. 41 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  105. I have been everything that I could possibly be for you - but if you do not wish to be helped in finding yourself and becoming a better girlfriend/person, I can't help you.
  106. And I hurt every fucking day knowing that my other half is going to be alone now.
  107. I wanted to walk away from this relationship knowing that I helped you to feel like you mattered and that you could be anyone that you wanted yourself to be.
  108. But instead I walk away knowing that I can ruin your reputation just from speaking about the things you've done to me.
  109. And that fucking sucks, because
  111. 39 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  112. I don't care my rep
  114. 39 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  115. I never wanted that for you.
  117. 39 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  118. I don't even know where I belong at this moment in my life
  119. trust me, my rep is the least of my worrise
  120. worries*
  122. 38 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  123. I promised you that I'd be together with you through the worst, and once again we're at that point.
  124. You're on the verge of going back to Atlantic City, and even after all of this, I want nothing more than to be with you and to help you.
  125. I have no problem jumping on another bus to visit you, because if there's anything that I've learned as a human being, it's to not care about what people say.
  126. And I don't give a flying fuck about what everyone thinks of you now - I didn't care about what they thought of you when you cheated on me.
  127. I have purposely gotten to know every bit of you over the course of this relationship, and I will always appreciate our best and worst times - you are not a waste of time.
  128. But because you are so lost, I have become lost myself.
  130. 34 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  131. I may have been a horrible girlfriend but if that's all people are going to see me for, then fuck it
  133. 34 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  134. My only goal was to help you to find yourself and love yourself for who you really are - help you to understand that you are loved by, if not tons, by me, unconditionally.
  135. But your struggle is indirectly affecting me, because my efforts to help you are going/have been in vain.
  136. And I look at myself feeling sorry not for myself, but for you.
  138. 33 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  139. Don't be sorry for me
  141. 33 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  142. Because the scene has changed you for the worst.
  143. The SCENE.
  144. Look where you are at this point and tell me why I shouldn't be.
  146. 32 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  147. Did it make me into a horrible person?
  148. I still have a big heart, I care a lot for others, even if I was the worst girlfriend.
  149. Ray, I fully understand
  151. 31 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  152. This is the way it appears:
  154. 31 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  155. what the scene has done to me for the worse & for the better
  156. I am jsut
  158. 29 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  159. You have a big heart and you're PLUR, but your big heart is reserved only for the people who can help you get places in the scene.
  161. 29 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  162. The one person who has stuck with you through everything is being tortured because NONE of that big heart is being used for him.
  163. That's what it'd seem like for anyone.
  164. Like I said when I decided to end this: this is about you, and this is the time for you to think about who you'd like to be.
  165. Because you see that what you've become is not appreciated by people, so if this Helen that you've become is who you wish to be, then so be it.
  166. Greg couldn't even look at you when he went to Outbreak, just because he couldn't bear what he was seeing.
  167. Because the Helen everyone has come to love is not the Helen we see now.
  168. But this isn't about us.
  169. It's about you.
  170. And that's all that it boils down to - you need to decide what really matters to you in life and be whatever you want to be, but you also need to prepare yourself for the consequences of changing.
  171. With all that being said, I'd like to know if you and Paulie have a thing for each other, because everyone says you two have a flirty friendship - and I've asked you before, but now that everything has been said and done, have you two done anything?
  173. 19 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  174. I didn't cheat on you, that's for certain, We hooked up yesterday & it's what makes me never want to be in another relationship
  176. 19 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  177. Did you fuck?
  179. 18 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  180. We did not
  181. fooled around
  183. 18 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  184. I don't really know what to think about you, Helen.
  185. Because I knew that you two had a thing for each other the entire time.
  186. And I was right.
  188. 18 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  189. Ray
  190. I wanted
  191. WANTED
  193. 18 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  194. I feel like fucking crying right now.
  195. Because you're telling me you've already moved on.
  197. 17 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  198. to be only yours, when I told you I didn't like Paulie, I really told myself I didn't, because I did not want to
  199. & I have not moved on
  200. I feel
  201. fucking
  202. apathetic almost, just lost.
  204. 16 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  205. I don't know who you are.
  207. 15 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  208. I just want to talk to you in person, this is too hard over facebook
  209. It's driving me crazy
  210. because I can't even put how I feel about this into text
  212. 15 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  213. Yeah, you say that, but Paulie clearly drove you crazy enough to fucking press your lips against his.
  215. 14 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  216. Wow
  218. 14 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  219. It wasn't even a fucking DAY after we broke up Helen.
  220. even been*
  221. And you already hook up with someone?
  222. I don't know who you are, because someone who was 'in love' would never fucking do that.
  224. 13 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  225. Ray
  227. 13 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  228. What?
  230. 12 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  231. I can't speak to you right now, it's too much. I am trying to elaborate on why & how I feel but you are just making it harder for me.
  232. I know you want to help me
  234. 12 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  235. No, you have Paulie for that now.
  236. Enjoy.
  238. 12 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  239. Ray
  240. It's fine, whatever
  241. I deserve this.
  242. I will just handle all of this
  244. 9 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  245. What the fuck do you even feel?
  246. What are you doing with yourself?
  247. I only seek to fucking help you and you CONSISTENTLY do things to hurt me.
  248. What is WRONG with you?
  249. You mean to tell me that before you let Paulie shove his fucking tongue down your throat that you didn't think of me even for a second?
  251. 8 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  252. You have
  253. no idea.
  254. You honestly do not
  256. 8 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  257. Not for a second you didn't think, "I will not be able to speak to Ray if he hears this."
  258. Yeah FUCK THAT
  259. You don't think about SHIT
  260. You didn't think of me before you fucked DAvid
  262. 7 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  263. wow
  265. 7 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  266. You didn't think of me before you made out with Paulie
  268. 7 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  269. wow
  270. wow
  271. okay
  272. thanks for helping me out
  274. 7 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  275. Yeah, wow is definitely right.
  277. 7 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  278. I totally feel like a better person
  279. please
  280. just
  281. stop
  283. 7 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  284. I'm going to help you, Helen.
  286. 7 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  287. I am
  288. going to talk to you whenever
  290. 7 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  291. But this is the consequence of doing something that you knew was wrong.
  293. 7 minutes agoHelen Chyeah
  294. have
  295. a
  296. wonderful
  297. night
  299. 6 minutes agoRay Chyeah
  300. Cool, run away.
  301. You are lost.
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