a guest Dec 27th, 2015 484 Never
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  2. Crusader Cat’s testimony
  7.   I am Crusader Cat. Crusader Cat is my fursona, for those who don’t know what
  8. that is, a fursona is a furry alter ego, a “furry persona”. I am a member of furry fandom,
  9. which is a fandom based on the admiration of anthropomorphic animals. This fandom is
  10. a large source of enjoyment for someone like me. Unfortunately, is has a dark side,
  11. which I would like to share with you now.
  13.   This nightmare of my sexuality started even before I knew what sex was. When I
  14. was a young child, I’m not sure how young, I had a strange attraction to feet which
  15. continues to this day. When I was about 8 years old I played footsie with a girl, it gave
  16. me much arousal. My foot fetish (podophilia) caused no damage in my youth, because I
  17. was not even sexually mature. Unfortunately, this paraphilia was in a stage of
  18. dormancy, it was waiting until my body could catch up.
  20.   My sexual life was kicked off at the age of 14. The event that started this was
  21. very unsettling. I was asleep and I had my first sexual dream, (it wasn’t a wet dream
  22. because I woke up before it ended). In this dream I was in a van with several other
  23. people, all barefoot. They were all trying to forcefully play footsie with me while I was
  24. trying to hide my feet. Then a girl came into the open sliding door of the van, put her
  25. foot against mine, than pulled me out of the van and began raping me right on the
  26. sidewalk! I woke up shocked from this nightmare. It was horrible, but my lust had won
  27. a victory that day, it had started the first of many attacks on my life. In an effort to
  28. satisfy my lust, I would go to my newly acquired computer and look for pictures of girls
  29. feet. Because feet are not sexual organs, I thought looking at them on the internet was
  30. harmless. I quickly found out I was wrong when I found my first fetish site. I was
  31. scared and immediately exited the internet. My speedy log off did little though, for as
  32. soon as I went to bed I said to my self “I didn’t know girls could be so naughty with
  33. there feet!” Every once in a while (about once a month on average) I would fall into
  34. temptation and look up pornography on the internet. My dad wanted to use my search
  35. engine, and he found all the foot porn I had been looking up, I tried to convince him it
  36. was an accident, but to no avail. Since then, he has been checking my computer to see
  37. what I was looking up (unfortunately, I found out how to erase my computers history
  38. soon later). It was also around this time I found out how to paw off (masturbate). I
  39. would first start humping my pillow to simulate sex with a woman, then later found out
  40. how to do it manually. I would paw so much that I got blisters! When I used my pillow,
  41. it took a long time, but when I finally achieved an orgasm, I gripped my pillow hard and
  42. bit down on it; it was the most exhilarating feeling in the world.
  45.   It was a week before my 16th birthday, my parents and I were going to get my
  46. birthday present early. We were originally going to get only one, but we ended up
  47. getting two. I loved cats and did not expect to have two at the same time! One was a
  48. tom cat and the other was a queen. By this time, I was a professional pawer, and
  49. sought new ways to feed my lust. The discussing dehumanization of woman didn't
  50. satisfy me, nor did the warmth of the kittens lying on top of me over the covers while I
  51. was pawing (just as no earthly pleasure can). So I had an idea, “I’ll make love to the
  52. kittens!” It wasn’t easy or pleasurable, this was before they were declawed, so I had to
  53. be careful. Eventually I did have an orgasm. I did this relatively rarely for the next year,
  54. I tried to look up animal pornography by typing that exact phrase into the search
  55. engine, but my searches were futile. In my mind however, the furvert (furry pervert)
  56. was beginning to manifest, I fantasied about having sex with several anthropomorphic
  57. vixens I saw in the media, these vixens were not created for the purpose of lust, but I
  58. abused them that way in my mind.
  60.   At the age of seventeen, my family and I moved in to our new house. It was
  61. wonderful, there were more bathrooms than people! Everyone had bedrooms upstairs
  62. while I found mine in the basement. The seclusion only made my deviations easer to
  63. execute. It was still hard looking for animal porn, but I was persistent, I would not give
  64. up. Finally I typed “Sexy cat women” into the search engine, and gazed at my first
  65. anthropomorphic vixen. I had a smile on my face and an erection in my boxers as I
  66. stared at the topless feline, it was just what I was looking for! It wasn’t long after, that I
  67. discovered the words “furotica” (furry erotica) and “yiff” (a.k.a. Sex). This made me
  68. even more happy, because now I knew what to type in. Soon later, I found many
  69. bestiality sites. This naturally led to my discovery to Furry Fandom. I went to some
  70. popular yiff sights such as Yiffstar and Immoral Enterprises. I played High Tail Hall and
  71. The Tail underground. These sites really hit the spot! It’s like all this furotica was made
  72. just for me! My foot fetish merged with my zoo/yiff and evolved into a paw fetish (what
  73. I call pawophilia). I knew what I was doing was wrong, I hated my self, but I hated the
  74. fandom even more, as well as it’s disgusting pornographic idolatry. I thought it was just
  75. a collection of furverts, and that furry conventions were just massive orgies. I wanted to
  76. destroy Furry Fandom, I would encourage them to leave the fandom, burn their
  77. furotica, and tear up their fursuits! This attitude went on for two years. Despite my
  78. hatred of the fandom, I still struggled with their porn. When that wouldn’t satisfy, I
  79. used my cats (and by this time they were declawed on their front paws and neutered).
  80. I would French kiss them, suck on their toes, dry hump them, rub their private parts,
  81. and attempted to make them lick my penis. I tried many different positions, sometimes
  82. they were on top, sometimes me; I wanted to explore every option I had, I wasn’t
  83. going to try intercourse, because they were too small for that. I was so out of control,
  84. that I considered having my self sterilized or castrated to stop this abomination! The
  85. cats rightfully hated what I was doing to them and one of them made me regret it one
  86. night with the claws he still had on his back paws.
  89.   I went to several anti-furry web sites such as and so called
  90. "Christian" websites such as (If your going to look at this
  91. site I should warn you that he shows examples of uncensored furotica). When I was on
  92. godhatesfurries (which is a secular website, the title was chosen just to offend
  93. people obviously) I heard about Christian furies, you could imagine my shock when I
  94. found out that there were Christians in such a group. It sounded like an oxymoron;
  95. such as Christian Jihad, or Christian rock. I decided to look into the Christian furry
  96. thing, I found that the Christians were (for the most part) opposed to yiff, and I
  97. contacted a Christian fur. I looked over his doctrinal statement and
  98. was absolutely convinced that he was a born again Christian. I still had some concerns
  99. however and asked him about them, he e-mailed me back and gave me a good
  100. response, at this point I knew that there were some false assumptions I had about furry
  101. fandom. My understanding of the fandom lightened up a bit and I wasn't anti-furry but
  102. I didn't want to become a fur because of the stereotypical reputation the fandom had.
  104. I was in college, so I did not see my cats for a long time. Whenever I got home, I
  105. would spend my first night having yiffing them. I felt really guilty and by the time the
  106. month long Christmas break started, I realized that I can’t do this alone. My dad and I
  107. were on our way a restaurant, and he could tell that there was something on my mind.
  108. I wanted to tell him, but I as too afraid. I prayed for God to give me an opportunity,
  109. and it wasn’t long before He answered my prayer. It was during my family Christmas
  110. vacation, there was some stupid National Lampoon thing on the TV where someone
  111. said “There’s a level of perversion you boys don’t want to go”  followed by a shot of a
  112. sheep. I was furious and started screaming. Later that day my dad asked me why I
  113. acted that way, and I finally confessed to him that I was a zoophile. He immediately
  114. said it was not normal and was willing to help me. I got the X3 Watch accountably
  115. software to limit my sinful internet browsing.
  117.   I was back at college for the second semester of my freshman year. I have not
  118. committed bestiality since I told my dad, but I was still temped with pawing off and
  119. looking at yiff on the internet.  It was sometime in march, six weeks before the
  120. semester was over, that I realized that I needed more help. I wanted to find Christians
  121. who knew EXACTLY what I was going through. I figured Christian furies were going the
  122. understand my problem. I adopted the fursona Crusader Cat and colored in an antro
  123. picture of my self as said species. I was so happy to find out that I made the right
  124. choice! After I made my second confession to them, I have received encouragement,
  125. prayer, and advice. Later, I went to Anthrocon and met several of these Christians. It
  126. was one of the most fun times of my life! I NEVER thought I would call my self a furry,
  127. but now look at me! I went to the worlds largest fury convention and will be receiving
  128. my fursuit in a few months! Without the sexual aspect, Furry Fandom is awesome!
  131. It was summer vacation and I was glad to be back home and stay home for decent
  132. amount of time. Eventually I wrote a letter to my pastor that said “Help me” and
  133. referenced Leviticus 18:23. I spoke with him on the phone after he received the letter
  134. expecting him to tell me my membership at the church would cease. Instead I received
  135. the same prayer and encouragement I got from the Christian furrs.
  137.   If your a Christian who has read this, then I want you to do two things. First, I
  138. want you to pray for me, I am still struggling with this and I need it. Any advice and
  139. encouragement are welcome too. Second, I want you to use this text (and the
  140. corresponding YouTube video) as a witnessing tool. Wether you are a furry or not, I
  141. want this to help others. Tell those who are aroused by furotica and bestiality (and
  142. human pornography, after all that’s what started this whole thing) what I have done. I
  143. also recommend that this be used for Christians who are struggling with furotica or
  144. bestiality as a source of encouragement.
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