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Somewhere Over the Moon

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  1. Somewhere Over the Moon
  2. by tepidGnostic
  3.  
  4. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  5.  
  6. Prologue
  7.  
  8. It had been a very long time since I last had a nightmare. So long that I
  9. would not even remember it if I did not go out of my way to recount my
  10. failures, they are many, but worthy of remembrance. More than any pony in
  11. Equestria I can rightfully claim that I have never made the same mistake
  12. twice. I paused and reflected with some annoyance that this has not
  13. stopped me from making all new ones.
  14.  
  15. Walking through dreams is a complicated affair, but one I had grown
  16. accustomed to. They say in order to perfect an art one must invest at
  17. least 10,000 hours. I have invested quite a bit more in my nightly charge.
  18. Even so, no amount of familiarity could prepare me for what happened next.
  19.  
  20. Sleepers are like little worlds, but they are rarely isolated. Threads
  21. connect us to the ponies we love, and indeed the ponies we hate. Finding
  22. yourself in Pinkie Pie’s dreams is a simple endeavor. I often found myself
  23. there quite by accident, much to my chagrin. I did not have many of these
  24. connections at all. So you can imagine how I felt when the two closest to
  25. me were severed, one at a time.
  26.  
  27. My teacher, my other half, my big sister. Just like that, she was gone,
  28. and tremors shook the dreamlands as my heart shattered. I curled up on the
  29. soft grass of some nameless landscape and tried to recover, but fate would
  30. not offer me any respite. My first real friend since becoming a nightmare
  31. myself, she was gone too. I felt something very vague, and undefined. This
  32. was betrayal, but I knew not of what sort.
  33.  
  34. I pressed a hoof firmly against my chest and struggled for a breath that
  35. should not have been necessary, and yet...
  36.  
  37. Tears started to pour down my face, matting the fur and falling to the
  38. ground with a steady tapping sound that seemed to send echoes through the
  39. world around me. I had failed again, everypony dreaming that night would
  40. no doubt feel the echoes of their ruler’s despair. Such weakness is... it
  41. is unseemly.
  42.  
  43. But what did they matter, anyway? Celestia and Twilight Sparkle were gone.
  44. I had never been more sure of anything before in my life. Even in this
  45. state of heartache, my past betrayed me. You finally got your wish it
  46. said, do you not remember when you longed for this day? Now you are truly
  47. alone, and nopony will be there to stop you from doing whatever pleases
  48. you.
  49.  
  50. It’s the final straw. I did not know myself then, so how can I know myself
  51. now? How can I ever know myself again without Sister to show me? Without
  52. Twilight to guide me? I lowered my head to the ground and shielded my face
  53. with a wing, listening to the soft metronome of too loud and definite tear
  54. drops splashing to the ground.
  55.  
  56. Drip.
  57.  
  58. Drip.
  59.  
  60. I blinked, and the cruel solidity of my chambers begins to crowd my
  61. beleaguered vision. “How long did I sleep for?” I grumbled as the soft
  62. glare of sunlight managed to bore it’s way into my mind like a railroad
  63. spike. I have delicate eyes.
  64.  
  65. A steady drip of soda pop fell down from the distant ceiling and splashed
  66. against my ear, which I flicked with irritation.
  67.  
  68. “Oh don’t worry, you slept through the entire night! Just like a wittle
  69. filly...” That sardonic tone barely required a thought to be placed. "I've
  70. actually been trying to wake you up for hours. Screaming in your face
  71. didn't work, mooning you didn't work, It's always the little things that
  72. annoy us enough to force a response." He snapped his fingers and the
  73. dripping stopped.
  74.  
  75. “Discord... I am not in the mood for your games.”
  76.  
  77. “And why not? You didn’t sleep well? The princess of dreams didn’t have
  78. any nightmares did she? That would be such a shame...”
  79.  
  80. I finally rose from my cushion, a suitable replacement for a cloud in the
  81. heavens, and looked around for my persistent tormenter. “If I did, it
  82. would be no concern of yours! I...” I stop short and finally begin to
  83. remember the events from before I awoke. “Discord... Where is my sister,
  84. and where is Princess Twilight Sparkle?”
  85.  
  86. “You know some ponies don’t really like watching trains, but I find it
  87. really fascinating to watch them switch tracks.” His serpentine likeness
  88. was only just visible in the corner of my room. Damn glare, the sun can be
  89. such a nuisance.
  90.  
  91. “Where. Is. My. Sister!?” My sister and... colleague, had encouraged me to
  92. avoid such acts of intimidation, and had claimed that it was a sign of
  93. wisdom and restraint to avoid that particular voice amplification spell. I
  94. was far beyond playing games with a spirit of chaos, however.
  95.  
  96. Discord reached up with one clawed hand and dug around furiously in his
  97. ears before removing a comically large fragment of brimstone. “She’s gone,
  98. your little friend is too.” His sneer was awful, just like old times.
  99. “You’re all alone, Luna.”
  100.  
  101. “It... It cannot be so!” My terror was impossible to restrain. “Tell me
  102. where they are immediately! Or I’ll-”
  103.  
  104. “Or you’ll whatt? Poke around in my dreams and keep me from getting a
  105. decent night’s sleep? You haven’t been relevant for just over 1,000 years
  106. now. The only thing that ever gave you strength was your sister, and I
  107. didn’t even need to get involved. You threw that away all on your own,
  108. didn’t you?”
  109.  
  110. With a wail of rage I leapt from the ground and soared at my offender. I
  111. was so stupid. Had I not made that mistake the first time we confronted
  112. each other, all those centuries ago? So much for my perfect record on
  113. repeat offenses. Of course he vanished in a puff of smoke, and of course
  114. that damnable snapping of digits echoed through my chamber not a second
  115. later. Chains of liquorice wrapped around my figure and pulled taut,
  116. slamming me into the ground.
  117.  
  118. “Tsk Tsk... You know, I was going to let you be my understudy. Nightmare
  119. Moon wasn’t all that bad, at least you had ‘some’ style back then. You
  120. weren’t entirely without flare, but that said I can’t say I find your
  121. present demeanor agreeable. Besides, eternal night is not nearly chaotic
  122. enough to suit my interests. I don’t think I’m going to let you set one
  123. hoof on this stage now.”
  124.  
  125. “I will never forgive you for this!” I struggled uselessly against my
  126. imprisonment. Even magic did not avail me, as the bonds merely absorbed
  127. any magical interference before growing in size. It was starting to get
  128. quite painful.
  129.  
  130. “Oh come on, like I’ve never heard that line before.” He snapped his
  131. fingers and I found myself face to face with the villain. “See Lovely
  132. Lulu, there’s a reason why you’re destined for irrelevancy, you’re just
  133. not that creative.”
  134.  
  135. I admit that despite my rage, it hurt to hear such a critique of my
  136. character. It hurt even worse because it was coming from him. He had
  137. betrayed me, betrayed my sister, betrayed Twilight... I hadn’t even been
  138. involved in one step of the dance.
  139.  
  140. “Now take me for example, I can get very creative. I just love
  141. improvising!” He coughed loudly and dramatically. “By way of example!”
  142.  
  143. For Five Score! Divided by Four!
  144.  
  145. Your Memories Removed! Your Body Confused!
  146.  
  147. He halted his chant, the dark aura of chaotic energy swirling around him
  148. seemed to recede a bit. He coughed again to clear his throat and pulled a
  149. script from the air behind him, a pair of reading glasses materialized on
  150. his loathsome snout.
  151.  
  152. “Blah Blah Blah, Insolence, Blah Blah Blah Far Away Land... Ah! Here we
  153. are!”
  154.  
  155. Your inhibitions unchecked, your sanity wrecked!
  156.  
  157. A lifetime of irrelevancy is sure to be a bore!
  158.  
  159. But you have to admit! It’s better than the moon!
  160.  
  161. I smiled and gloated, or at least as much as one can while bound in
  162. crushing candy chains. “Thou thinkest that thy curse will hold true? The
  163. ending does not even rhyme!”
  164.  
  165. Much to my alarm, the receding chaos stormed toward me. This wasn't the
  166. trickster magic I was accustomed to. This wasn't cotton candy, chocolate
  167. milk, and bamboozled stallions. This was darkness. I shuddered because
  168. what it really reminded me of was myself, the way I had been one thousand
  169. years ago.
  170.  
  171. The last thing I see are his sickly yellow eyes and furious sneer. “Since
  172. when did Chaos ever need to rhyme?”
  173.  
  174. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  175.  
  176. Nothing to Write Home About
  177.  
  178.         What a way to close off another year, to think I’d be forced to
  179. run back home with my tail between my legs. Things were not supposed to be
  180. like this. I grunted and tossed my bag of clothing into the trunk of my
  181. ex-roommate’s car. Seven months ago I had abandoned the state where I had
  182. grown up, in favor of a new life. I was looking for somewhere to be
  183. myself, somewhere I could finally settle down and succeed. I didn’t end up
  184. finding any of those things, unfortunately. I bounced around between
  185. friends and at one point or another found myself experiencing almost every
  186. region in the country.
  187.  
  188.         Work was hard to find, and even when I did find it, it was as
  189. though fate conspired to keep me hapless. I didn’t even want to think
  190. about how I lost my last job. That was just... Okay, I can’t blame
  191. everything on destiny. I was pretty much asking for it that time.
  192. Seriously, what in the seven circles of hell was I thinking?
  193.  
  194.         “You’re sure you’re going to be alright?” Josh asked as he climbed
  195. into his vehicle.
  196.  
  197.         I climbed into the passenger’s seat beside him and scowled. “Does
  198. it really matter?”
  199.  
  200.         Josh let out a sigh. He shifted the car into gear and slowly
  201. exited the parking lot. “Just because I can’t be the one to help you
  202. doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. You’re a good person, and I can’t
  203. think of anyone who deserves to have a happy life more than you do.”
  204.  
  205.         “Yeah well, what we deserve doesn’t really matter.” I muttered
  206. with an expression dark enough to give thunderheads pause.
  207.  
  208.         
  209.  
  210.         “You’d get more jobs if you weren’t so dramatic.” Josh couldn’t
  211. help but glance at me, even while driving. His lips curled into a pained
  212. smile. “So, getting back to my earlier quest-”
  213.  
  214.         “I’m sure I’ll be fine. My family is cruel but I don’t think
  215. they'd want me on the streets.”
  216.  
  217.         The suburbs of Madison Wisconsin were as silent as we were for the
  218. rest of the trip. Everyone was still inside. It had been a long winter,
  219. and it was as though people refused to believe it was finally spring.
  220. Every so often Josh would speak up, as though he were about to start some
  221. topic to make things less awkward. A noncommittal grunt was all it took to
  222. shut him up.
  223.  
  224.         We finally reached the express terminal, and after beating the bus
  225. driver to death with his own shoes, Ozzy went on to play a great show.
  226. Sarcasm aside, this affair was pretty dull and uneventful as well. He
  227. pulled my bag out of the car for me and handed it over like a ‘true host’,
  228. and insisted he wait with me for the bus.
  229.  
  230.         “That’s really not going to be necessary, Josh.” I waved him off
  231. with an irritated sigh. He was always so clingy around me. I guess he’s
  232. one of those people with ‘a calling to serve others’ or some such thing.
  233. It made me wonder why he was allowing me to leave at all, but he claimed
  234. it was ‘for my own good’, that in order to learn and grow I needed to be
  235. somewhere else. Good riddance, as far as I was concerned. The guy was
  236. insufferable. What happened next only served to prove my point.
  237.  
  238. He deftly grabbed my outstretched hand and kissed it. The position forcing
  239. him into a slight bow. “Safe travels then, my princess.”
  240.  
  241. I blushed so hard that I swore my limbs were going numb with blood
  242. deprivation. I looked around wildly and noticed a few less than savory
  243. folks snickering at me. “Josh!” I yelled all too loudly. “What the hell
  244. are you doing?!” I finally regained my senses and yanked my hand back. I
  245. was breathing hard, my shoulders rising and falling with the effort.
  246.  
  247. Josh, that bastard, he just smiled at me and winked. Then he turned
  248. around, hopped into his car, and sped off.
  249.  
  250. “What the hell was that about?!” I growled into the cold evening air. A
  251. few individuals who hadn’t been looking at me before had joined their
  252. fellows. I flinched, I hadn’t meant for my voice to be that loud, or to
  253. carry that far.
  254.  
  255. I pulled a massive pair of headphones from around my neck and slipped them
  256. over my ears before retreating to a safe distance. The gentle sounds of
  257. saxophone music and rain calmed my tired nerves, and I struggled to get my
  258. heart rate under control.
  259.  
  260. ‘It’s too much.’ I thought bitterly. I should really see a therapist or
  261. shrink or something, get on some medicine, because getting myself under
  262. control is not getting any easier. I glanced back over at the crowd of
  263. people. Some of them were laughing amongst themselves, and although I
  264. wasn’t lacking in clarity—I knew that they could be laughing at some
  265. ridiculous picture on their smart phones—I was equally certain that what
  266. they were laughing at was me.
  267.  
  268. I frowned and skipped to the next song, hoping it would do a better job of
  269. calming me down. Waiting for the bus wasn’t helping my nerves either. The
  270. city didn’t even have a proper greyhound terminal, and catching the bus
  271. required sitting in an open air transfer point where local buses met.
  272. Every minute that passed by my heart beat a little faster. ‘What if the
  273. driver had an accident? What if I’m at the wrong transfer point?’  I
  274. reached into the pocket of my cheap black jacket and felt around for my
  275. tickets before inspecting my pants pockets. A faint wave of relief washed
  276. over me when I finally found them, but it was like a drop in the ocean in
  277. the long run.
  278.  
  279.         
  280.  
  281.         04:45 PM 04/29 Madison(e) to Chicago
  282.  
  283. There was quite a bit more information beneath that, but honestly it was
  284. all Greek to me. Just a bunch of gate numbers and codes relevant to some
  285. employee with a computer. So I was at least there at the appropriate time,
  286. but that didn’t do anything to reassure me regarding location. I leaned
  287. back against the plastic cage I had placed myself in and rest my eyes.
  288. ‘You double checked before leaving. You triple checked. Just calm down.’
  289.  
  290.         The bus must have pulled up while I was battling my inner demons,
  291. because when I opened my eyes it was parked by the curb across the street.
  292. With a panicked yelp I rushed over, bag of clothing in tow. I felt pretty
  293. self conscious struggling with my bag. Once again I fought to rationalize
  294. my actions. I was pretty sure the bus was going to be there for 15 minutes
  295. so everyone could have a smoke, but that didn’t stop me from fleeing like
  296. it would leave just as I stepped in front of the doors. Then everyone on
  297. the bus could laugh at me, just like the people with the phones had.
  298.  
  299.         I handed my ticket to the bus driver just as he was lighting up a
  300. death stick of his own. I fought to keep my breathing under control after
  301. the short dash, but it was no use. The composure train had left the
  302. station.
  303.  
  304. He took one look at the ticket and muttered out through pursed lips. “Eric
  305. Delano?”
  306.  
  307. “That’s me.”
  308.  
  309. He looked up at me. “Got any ID?”
  310.  
  311. “Oh, yes! Of course!” I dropped my bag and fumbled for my wallet before
  312. handing it to him. I flinched at the perceived faux pas of not removing
  313. the card myself, but he seemed content to take it all in stride.
  314.  
  315. “First time riding a bus like this?”
  316.  
  317. “Uh... Yeah.” I lied through my teeth, as if that would help me save face
  318. at this point. First time nervousness will excuse everything, yeah right.
  319.  
  320. He yanked open the compartment under the bus and gestured to me. “Go ahead
  321. and toss it in.” He said while flicking his cigarette clean of ash.
  322.  
  323. I dutifully grabbed my bag, and after swinging it back and forth a few
  324. times for leverage, I released it into the compartment. The driver slammed
  325. it with a loud click, and I practically sprinted onto the bus while
  326. everyone else enjoyed their break.
  327.  
  328. With the bus abandoned I made my way to the very back, and wondered why
  329. any group would fight to escape that place. It was so peaceful back here.
  330. Maybe it was just the principle of the matter? I opened my messenger bag
  331. and began shuffling through it like the over sized purse that it was. With
  332. a bit of effort I wrestled my laptop free and plugged it into the
  333. conveniently provided power outlet. No internet yet, that would have to
  334. wait until the driver started the bus. I closed the lid to my laptop and
  335. kicked back along the three seats lining the back wall of the bus.
  336.  
  337. Not much longer after that, people began to re-board the bus. My heart
  338. started beating again as I began speculating as to who amongst them would
  339. do battle with me over the coveted sleeping roost. Would it be the obvious
  340. tweakers behind door number one? Or what about the rock hard ex-con behind
  341. door number two? Amusingly enough, they both took seats toward the front
  342. of the bus and began discussing, of all things, something involving rape
  343. countermeasures. I didn’t even bother to hear the rest of that
  344. conversation.
  345.  
  346. My senses were pried from introspection when a boy about my age prowled
  347. down the aisle and towered over me. I sat up, evacuating my position of
  348. vulnerability.
  349.  
  350. “Sorry to disturb you, but I was back here before everyone got off the
  351. bus.” He pulled his bag from the overhead to prove his point.
  352.  
  353. “Oh, sorry about that...” I mumbled, the colour was starting to rise in my
  354. cheeks. “I’ll just find somewhere else to sit.”
  355.  
  356. “No need!” He said as he swung himself down into the chair nearest the
  357. aisle, cutting off my escape. He placed his bag on his lap and started
  358. digging through it, removing a few pieces of candy and popping them into
  359. his mouth merrily. “We can sit together! Share the road!”
  360.  
  361. Oh joy of joys. Maybe I can ditch him at the next transfer point. Another
  362. distant voice rang out in my head. I could always just get up and leave.
  363. ‘You don’t need to stay here just because he told you to.’ But something
  364. in the way he carried himself just made me want to do exactly as I was
  365. told. I opened my laptop and turned myself awkwardly so that he couldn’t
  366. see what I was doing.
  367.  
  368. “So where are you headed?” My companion said in a perfectly friendly and
  369. socially reasonable tone.
  370.  
  371. “San Diego...” I responded as was expected of me. That I could have lied
  372. did not even occur to me. I was not a very good liar. “What about you?”
  373.  
  374. “I’m heading to LA! Guess that means we’ll be traveling together for the
  375. next two days!”
  376.  
  377. ‘Dear Odin, I would ask you for help but you’ve clearly saw fit to screw
  378. me already. I hope you get god-cancer, the end.’
  379.  
  380. The bus hummed to life and my precious internet signal was delivered unto
  381. me. I recoiled in on myself like the frightened creature I was and set to
  382. work ignoring my shiny new friend. We were halfway to Chicago before he
  383. spoke to me again.
  384.  
  385. “You looking at porn or something?”
  386.  
  387. “. . . No?” I couldn’t even begin to isolate my loathing from my voice. I
  388. don’t believe I even tried.
  389.  
  390. “Let me take a look.” He leaned over the seat and snuck a peek at a
  391. conversation I was having with my friend Josh.
  392.  
  393. A well drawn OC for one of Luna’s Night Guard was the only attention
  394. grabbing detail on the screen. Josh prefered the term ‘Thestral’, and
  395. didn’t seem to care that Thestrals were pretty soundly the intellectual
  396. property of some British fantasy author. I quickly minimized the portion
  397. of Skype that displayed profile images and cursed myself silently.
  398.  
  399. “Do you mind? I’m trying to have a private conversation with one of my
  400. friends!” I growled at him and somehow found a way to shift even further
  401. away.
  402.  
  403. There was an awkward silence, but I was grateful that he seemed to
  404. understand he had overstepped his bounds. He stared straight ahead for a
  405. while before speaking again. “So you’re into My Little Pony then? Twilight
  406. Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, stuff like that?”
  407.  
  408. “My friend is, I’m not. Why? Are you a Brony or something?”
  409.  
  410. “Not really, I have a daughter, and she’s really into it. If I don’t know
  411. how to hold a conversation with her about it she gets really upset.”
  412.  
  413. “That series ended like five years ago. Why would your daughter care about
  414. it?”
  415.  
  416. He shrugged his shoulders and took a candy bar from his bag. “Reruns.”
  417.  
  418. Josh sent me another message that urgently demanded my attention. I
  419. replied with frantic keystrokes.
  420.  
  421. Wintermute: Can’t talk now, really nosy asshole sitting next to me.
  422.  
  423. Nightwatch: You should really watch your language princess!
  424.  
  425. Wintermute: Why the hell do you keep calling me that? Is this some kind of
  426. inside joke?
  427.  
  428. Nightwatch: It’s not really a joke.
  429.  
  430. Nightwatch: Well, maybe a little.
  431.  
  432. Nightwatch: In your time staying here I’ve just realized that there is a
  433. lot more to you than most give you credit for. You can be a bit...
  434. difficult to deal with, but I get the impression that you’re someone worth
  435. protecting, and dare I say it, respecting!
  436.  
  437. Wintermute: Okay. So why the hell aren't I a prince, or better yet, a
  438. king?
  439.  
  440. Nightwatch: A delicate flower like you? Please.
  441.  
  442. Wintermute: . . .
  443.  
  444. Wintermute: Your first born is mine. I am going to cut them into pieces
  445. and sacrifice each bit to every Eldritch Abomination I can think of, and a
  446. few that I can’t.
  447.  
  448. Nightwatch: See? This is what I am talking about: Delicate. Flower.
  449.  
  450. Nightwatch: That and my birthday is coming up, I’ve never really cared
  451. about that in the past (I mean except the big 21, but come on :3) but I
  452. dunno, for some reason I’m feeling really excited!
  453.  
  454. Wintermute: When’s your birthday again?
  455.  
  456. Nightwatch: May 1st! The day before yours!
  457.  
  458. Wintermute: Well, now I feel like a jerk.
  459.  
  460. Nightwatch: Why is that?
  461.  
  462. Wintermute: I can’t exactly get you anything this year, and as much as you
  463. irritate me sometimes, you’ve done a lot for me and I dunno...
  464.  
  465. Nightwatch: That’s okay! I’m not getting you anything either!
  466.  
  467. Nightwatch: Getting me nothing will be my birthday gift to you.
  468.  
  469. Nightwatch: Didn’t you say you couldn’t talk?
  470.  
  471. Josh didn’t need to tell me twice. I closed my laptop and tucked it under
  472. the seat in front of me. I struggled to get comfortable in vain, and I
  473. guess my travel buddy was feeling it too, because he started talking
  474. again.
  475.  
  476. “I’m James, by the way.”
  477.  
  478. “Eric.”
  479.  
  480. “So why don’t you like the show, out of curiosity?”
  481.  
  482. I really wasn’t happy with where this conversation was going. my
  483. relationship with Friendship is Magic was Fire and Ice. I hated it, I
  484. loved it, I loved to hate it. My friends were almost entirely bronies to
  485. this day, and they described me as ‘Tsundere for MLP’.
  486.  
  487. “A lot of the stuff it seems to preach, like the importance of friendship,
  488. or the struggle between harmony and chaos, are things that I believed in
  489. to begin with. I’ve never really felt at peace with my family, so friends
  490. were far more important to me. I never really believed in gods, because
  491. they never answered when I talked to them.” I paused and wished
  492. desperately for something to drink.
  493.  
  494. James seemed to have a sense for such things, because he held out a bottle
  495. of water and asked with a smile. “Thirsty?”
  496.  
  497. I stared at the bottle quietly, debating whether or not to accept
  498. something from a stranger. Thirst won out and I broke the seal before
  499. taking a sip.
  500.  
  501. “You can keep it, I’ve got more.” He gestured to continue. “You were
  502. saying something about gods?”
  503.  
  504. “Gods are almost always jerks, anyway. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think
  505. there’s something out there, something higher than me. I guess if I had to
  506. put a name to it, I would call it Harmony.” I took a much larger sip, my
  507. mouth was starting to get dry from all the explaining. “So here comes this
  508. show that takes all these nebulous feelings I had, and then parades them
  509. around with all the seriousness of a children’s show. It even had real
  510. gods, the way gods should be. Except they’re not, they’re ‘just
  511. princesses’. It was like they served their people, instead of the people
  512. just worshipping them. The whole thing felt vaguely insulting, like it was
  513. picking at old wounds.” I paused, I had really gotten into this
  514. explanation. Where did all this come from? “And the series finale was
  515. absolutely disgusting.”
  516.  
  517. He raised an eyebrow at that. “Really? How so?”
  518.  
  519. I turn to get a good look at him, for the first time actually paying
  520. attention to the little details. He was a bit unkempt. His brown hair was
  521. beyond taming, and the whites of his eyes had a slight yellow tinge that
  522. sort of grossed me out. I tried to remember what illness would cause that,
  523. but was drawing a blank. Jaundice, maybe?
  524.  
  525. “I don’t really want to talk about it, it was just messed up, especially
  526. for a children’s show.”
  527.  
  528. He hummed thoughtfully and twiddled his thumbs. “Fascinating.”
  529.  
  530. “Quite.” I muttered with a hint of sarcasm.
  531.  
  532. We spent the rest of the ride to Chicago locked in another one of our
  533. awkward silences. When the driver announced our stop and pulled in, I was
  534. understandably in a hurry to get off that bus and far away from him.
  535. James, however, took his sweet time getting up and gathering his things.
  536. Before moving down the aisle he turned toward me and held out his hand.
  537.  
  538. “See you on the next bus, my good friend.” His smile was from ear to ear.
  539.  
  540. I’m not sure what I was thinking. I wasn’t thinking, I couldn’t have been
  541. thinking. I took his hand in mine and shook it, and smiled right back.
  542.  
  543. “Yeah, see you then.”
  544.  
  545. The layover at the Chicago terminal was an hour long, and the sun had long
  546. since set when we started boarding. I hesitated while handing my bag to
  547. one of the workers and stared up at the sky. Too cloudy to see anything, I
  548. reflected that I hadn’t really seen the moon or stars since moving to
  549. Wisconsin. Broken English snapped me out of my revery and I handed off my
  550. bag before climbing up onto the bus and making for the back. James was not
  551. on yet, but I was certain he would be on not long after me. Instead of
  552. taking the very back like last time, I say one row ahead, and took an
  553. aisle seat. In a show of uncharacteristic assertiveness, I even placed my
  554. messenger bag on the window seat. Thus did I broadcast to the world my
  555. desire to remain undisturbed.
  556.  
  557. ‘I AM A CREATURE OF SOLITUDE’ That is what my display was code for.
  558.  
  559. Sure enough, James was in the next group of people to board the bus. He
  560. smiled when he saw me, but that expression of joy soured quickly when he
  561. saw where I had chosen to sit. He didn’t say anything as he slipped into
  562. the very back, and I placed my headphones over my ears in any case. After
  563. the bus got started I curled up over the span of my two seats and stared
  564. out at the murky Chicago night. It was beautiful in it’s own way, though
  565. the pollution being pumped out combined with the street lights to give the
  566. air a diseased yellow colour. I immediately  thought of James’s eyes and
  567. shuddered before propping my head just under the window.
  568.  
  569. Falling asleep certainly took a while. The bus was bouncing up and down,
  570. and that coupled with my inability to see where we were going from this
  571. angle was giving me a mild case of motion sickness. Eventually I started
  572. to nod off, the music from my headphones lured me to sleep and drowned out
  573. the disrespectful jerks who didn’t seem to think the driver’s requests to
  574. remain quiet during nighttime trips applied to them.
  575.  
  576. Sometimes while in the process of nodding off, I’d stare out through the
  577. cracks in the seats to the row behind me, and I’d see James sitting there
  578. with his arms crossed. He never took his eyes off the row of chairs in
  579. front of him.
  580.  
  581. I didn’t like his expression, not even a little.
  582.  
  583. This had to be a dream. It just had to be, because the air was colourful
  584. in a way that stretched my imagination and yet seemed all too familiar.
  585. Also, my sister was a horse.
  586.  
  587. I want to cry out to her. To tell her for the umpteenth time not to trust
  588. that... that thing beside her. Together they battle something far larger
  589. than either of them. The notion of something larger than the forces of
  590. harmony and chaos makes me want to quiver in a corner like a little filly,
  591. and I am ashamed. I am ashamed because part of me is glad that I am not
  592. there. My big sister will take care of this, my big sister always does.
  593. Except she doesn’t take care of things. Not this time. The creature
  594. smashes her down from the heavens and into the dirt, and her new friend
  595. banishes the creature back to the pit below with a snap of his fingers.
  596.  
  597. Moon and stars, he’s stronger than I remember him. How could he have
  598. become so? In a puff of condescending smoke, he is beside my sister. She
  599. begs him, pleads for help, but I think in this moment even she knows what
  600. is going to happen next. He dances around, all wit and cunning, and with a
  601. great flourish of drama kicks my sister down into the molten rock below.
  602.  
  603. Setting switches with the abrupt subtlety characteristic of dreams, and we
  604. are in a castle. My friend... Twilight Sparkle is there. I feel so
  605. ridiculous calling this creature my friend, but why? The spirit of chaos
  606. arrives, and already he begins filling her head with lies. She trusts him.
  607.  
  608. It isn’t fair. She is so young, her coronation wasn’t even a decade ago
  609. and already she was having it stripped from her. She doesn’t realize what
  610. is happening until the curse is long since begun, and then she’s gone. The
  611. spirit disappears, and I’m left alone.
  612.  
  613. I stay there for some time, drowning in the silence, and then his voice
  614. starts to drift up through the dream.
  615.  
  616. “Why are you getting so worked up Lulu? It’s just a cartoon for little
  617. girls!”
  618.  
  619. I woke up with a start, and earned the attention of the people sitting
  620. across from me for my trouble. I turned my head and squinted out the
  621. window. For once it seemed like I got a decent sleep while on the bus,
  622. because the sun was up. We must be pretty close to St. Louis at this
  623. point. I took my headphones off and placed them around my neck, and was
  624. greeted by a crunching sound from the row behind me. My stomach started to
  625. rumble and I couldn’t help but sneak a peek.
  626.  
  627. James had removed a large green Ziploc from his bag, and it was filled to
  628. the brim with cucumber slices with the skins still on them. Just the way
  629. that I liked them. He smiled the same way he always smiles. He took
  630. another bite of his slice and finished it before making his next move.
  631. “You want some?” He held out the bag. “We can always share them. You’d
  632. have to come back here though. I don’t really feel like leaning forward
  633. with the bag every time you need to grab one.”
  634.  
  635.         I wrestled with the invitation before reaching a conclusion. I did
  636. have some money left, but my reserves were low enough that any dollar I
  637. had was very valuable, and worth conserving. I swung myself from my seat
  638. using the momentum of the bus to help me along and collapsed into the
  639. chair next to him. “Yeah... Yeah I do...”
  640.  
  641.         He held the bag open for me and I reached inside.
  642.  
  643.         “Take as many as you’d like!”
  644.  
  645.         I swallowed at the blank check being offered to me and fought to
  646. restrain my hunger impulses, or I was likely to take off with the whole
  647. bag. ‘Why must my body be a furnace?!’ Erring on the side of humility I
  648. took two. This was not nearly enough to fill me, but god did it make me
  649. feel better. Each one had a slight coat of dew-like moisture, and yet had
  650. managed to avoid becoming soggy. They were more delicious than any
  651. cucumbers I have ever had, and in that moment I probably would have
  652. christened them the greatest food stuffs I had ever consumed.
  653.  
  654.         We danced around the issue of the food for a few minutes, him
  655. trying to make idle chatter and me trying to avoid the fact that I
  656. desperately wanted more. I’ll never understand other people. How the hell
  657. can they just sit there like that with a perfectly decent meal? If they
  658. weren’t hungry, why were they eating? If they were hungry, why isn’t it
  659. gone yet? After a few more glances at the big bag of cucumbers that he was
  660. for the most part ignoring, James smiled upon me once more and said “Do
  661. you want the rest of them? I’m not actually very hungry.”
  662.  
  663.         I snatched the bag with speed and a lack of grace that was
  664. borderline rude. James’s face lit up with amusement and he removed a
  665. bottle of cola from his bottomless bag of goodies.
  666.  
  667.         “Guess you really were hungry. How do they taste?”
  668.  
  669.         “Oh my god they are so amazing...” I managed to blurt out between
  670. slices of cucumber.
  671.  
  672.         This garnered a chuckle, and he leaned over and patted me on the
  673. shoulder. “Good. Hey, do you smoke?” He pulled a medium sized object from
  674. a charger and presented it to me. It was one of those electronic
  675. cigarettes, but in the shape of an ornate pipe.
  676.  
  677.         I’ve never really experienced peer pressure growing up, I
  678. accomplished this by not having peers. Everyone always felt so... beneath
  679. me, in grade school. High school had it’s own distractions. So suffice it
  680. to say I wasn’t prepared for the feeling of guilt that welled up inside me
  681. when I even thought of turning down this guy’s gifts. He had been so
  682. polite and generous to me, hadn’t he? Wouldn’t it be rude for me to deny
  683. him, after all he had been through to become my friend?
  684.  
  685.         “I... Don’t.” I finally stammered.
  686.  
  687.         James smiled. “Suit yourself!” He raised the pipe to his mouth and
  688. inhaled deeply, puffs of water vapor streaming from his nostrils. The air
  689. was filled with the smells of vanilla, blueberries, and something else I
  690. couldn’t quite put my finger on. It was intoxicating just via contact, and
  691. I was really starting to regret my decision, but I was never one to
  692. reverse my position, at least not this quickly.
  693.  
  694.         While James continued to inhale from his majestic pipe, I decided
  695. I would compensate myself by inhaling what was left of my cucumbers. It
  696. didn’t take long, and once I started balling up the bag he reached over
  697. and clapped me on the back.
  698.  
  699.         “You eat like a horse, did you know that?” He laughed like this
  700. observation was somehow hilarious. All I could think about was how the
  701. uncomfortably friendly individual was touching me again.
  702.  
  703.        
  704.  
  705.  My heart rate was starting to peak by the time the bus pulled into it’s
  706. stop, and we were all ordered off the bus so that it might be cleaned and
  707. refueled. With the gift of my aisle seat, I took off in a flash, and
  708. nearly forgot my messenger bag in the process. The terminal in St. Louis
  709. was large enough for me to hide from James for the whole hour we were
  710. stuck there.
  711.  
  712.         I decided that even after the bag of cucumbers, I was still
  713. starving. In retrospect they hadn’t been very filling at all. So I wasted
  714. some of my money on an incredibly over priced miniature pizza from the
  715. building’s food court, and quickly isolated myself to a corner before
  716. eating it. I nearly panicked and bolted from my position when I saw James
  717. round the corner, but he wasn’t looking for me. He was talking to three
  718. other people that looked to be about the same age as us. They were smiling
  719. and laughing and apparently having a good time in general. This suited me
  720. just fine, keep the bastard distracted while I relax and get some
  721. real food in me.
  722.  
  723.         I finished my snack and made for the line forming to re-board the
  724. bus. By the time I got there it was already overflowing, and I was
  725. starting to get worried that there wouldn’t be room for everyone. That
  726. might not be so bad... actually, the next bus might not have James on it.
  727.  
  728.         Who was I kidding? If I got bumped to another bus, I had every
  729. reason to believe my stalker would be there waiting for me. He’d just have
  730. to concede that there wasn’t room for him either. I took the last place in
  731. line and began to fidget anxiously. I could see those three people that
  732. James had been speaking with before, they were near the front of the line.
  733. Every so often one or two would run outside to smoke a cigarette, with the
  734. girl holding their place in line. I grit my teeth and tried not to make a
  735. big deal about the situation. If they left the line then they should go to
  736. the back of the line! What is even the point of having a line otherwise?
  737.  
  738.         “Hello again!” James called enthusiastically as he walked by me.
  739. His hand darted out like he was trying to make me flinch, just like my
  740. brothers used to always do.
  741.  
  742.         What really rendered me shell-shocked is what he had actually
  743. ended up doing. He did not slug me, he didn’t even clap me on the
  744. shoulder. He reached out for my chest and pinched me. Right through my
  745. shirt, where my nipple would be. I shut down immediately, trying to
  746. process what exactly was going on. My first thought was: ‘Did that just
  747. happen?’ My second thought was: ‘Am I supposed to scream rape yet?’
  748.  
  749.         In the end I had absolutely no idea what to do. I didn’t think I
  750. should tell anyone. It’s not like it was anything serious, they’d probably
  751. just laugh at me and tell me to stand up for myself if it bothered me. No,
  752. it was clear that the only appropriate tactic was avoidance. I flinched
  753. away from him and sealed my lips tightly in a look of disapproval. I
  754. didn’t say anything back.
  755.  
  756.         James smirked and strode confidently toward the front of the line
  757. where the other three were situated. “See you on the bus!” He called back
  758. with enthusiasm.
  759.  
  760.         ‘Please let the bus be overbooked. PLEASE let the bus be
  761. overbooked.’
  762.  
  763.         
  764.  
  765. The bus wasn’t overbooked. Somehow they had managed to book a person for
  766. every seat without overbooking at all. There is no God. I was more certain
  767. of that then ever before. To make matters worse, every seat at the front
  768. of the bus was taken. James and his motley crew had already set up shop in
  769. the back, and that is where the last remaining seat was.
  770.  
  771.         It was going to be a long ride to Las Vegas.
  772.  
  773.         Sitting next to James was a very awkward experience. It was like
  774. nothing had ever happened at the terminal, and honestly I was starting to
  775. wonder if anything had happened.
  776.  
  777.         The three people he was hanging out with were on their way to
  778. Vegas. They seemed nice enough, although they weren’t really in my social
  779. caste, not that I belonged to such a thing. There names were Caleb,
  780. Chelsie, and... Honestly, I never got the last one’s name. He was an odd
  781. kid that everyone seemed to pick on. He seemed to take it in stride
  782. though. It was like he had taken so many drugs that he was just
  783. permanently happy and oblivious. He wore a hat that was in the likeness of
  784. that green platypus character from some old Disney show, and the ear flaps
  785. were comically large and reached down to his waist.
  786.  
  787.         The four of them took turns with James’s pipe, and eventually they
  788. even managed to talk me into giving it a try. The flavors were much more
  789. intense than I had anticipated, and I choked the first time. The rest of
  790. the group smiled and laughed, like they had initiated me into the higher
  791. mysteries. I did feel sorta different after the first time, but the
  792. cartridge they were using must have had a bit of nicotine in it. Something
  793. like that would account for such a thing.
  794.  
  795.         The ride to Denver was long and cramped, and with everyone so up
  796. in each other’s business, I couldn’t speak to any of my friends online. My
  797. real friends, I reminded myself. They wouldn’t make me feel uncomfortable
  798. like this, so out of my element. But then, maybe it is a good thing to be
  799. out of your element every once in awhile?
  800.  
  801. When we got to Denver we lost a majority of the passengers and acquired a
  802. couple dozen more. Everyone was much more spaced out and I used that
  803. opportunity to move closer to the front. James didn’t really seem to like
  804. this idea much, but I told him I needed to get some sleep, and he accepted
  805. that. It was a bit difficult to get any shut eye with those four partying
  806. constantly. James had made full use of his never ending bag of treats.
  807.  
  808.         Things were much quieter and relaxed up front, but unfortunately
  809. after switching buses in Denver, we no longer had access to Internet, so
  810. once again I was cut off from the outside world. I managed to get some
  811. shut eye early on, and when I woke up we were quite a distance from the
  812. city. The sun was high enough for it to be early morning, and the bus was
  813. surrounded on all sides by green hills. It was a pretty peaceful setting.
  814.  
  815.         Then we entered a tunnel, and what happened next was like visiting
  816. Narnia or something.
  817.  
  818. The tunnel seemed to go on forever, and a few of the people near me were
  819. starting to panic. In the row of seats just in front of me, a little girl
  820. stared at the wall as it whizzed past us with a look of spiritual awe, and
  821. my expression wasn’t much different once we exited the other side.
  822.  
  823. The green hills were gone, and were replaced with massive coniferous trees
  824. capped with snow. Everything was covered with snow. I was awestruck at the
  825. idea that anything could still be blanketed in the white stuff this close
  826. to May. It was like I had been transported to another world.
  827.  
  828. Then I got a good look at the mountains. I had thought I had seen
  829. mountains growing up in California, but that didn’t even compare to these.
  830. These mountains struck a chord deep in my soul, and soared into the air
  831. before being obscured by clouds. A few of them even looked like massive
  832. towers with turrets of stone jutting into the sky. I wanted to know why no
  833. one had built any monasteries on them, or castles. A castle on top of one
  834. of these mountains would be good. Surely we had the technology for such
  835. things now.
  836.  
  837. I shook my head to clear the idea. “Castle on a mountain eh? Very original
  838. Eric.” I curled up on the seats and stared up through the window to watch
  839. the mountains as they passed.
  840.  
  841. Apparently my show of wonder didn’t go unnoticed, and the little girl from
  842. in front had taken an interest in me, deciding she had stumbled upon a
  843. kindred spirit. She would occasionally poke her head over the seat and
  844. stare at me when she thought I wasn’t looking, before darting back down
  845. when she felt I had seen her.
  846.  
  847. I must have been feeling pretty silly and energetic after passing by the
  848. mountains, because I actually played along. After awhile it turned into a
  849. game of who could make the silliest face. In actuality, it was more like
  850. me making faces and her mimicking them, but laughing first and letting her
  851. win seemed the sporting thing to do.
  852.  
  853. Her parents weren’t very far away, but they seemed okay with us
  854. interacting. Normally parents are terrified of me being near their kids,
  855. like I’m some kind of pedophile if I allow myself to be within five feet
  856. of their larval offspring. I chalked it up to her being hyper, the trip
  857. being long and crowded, and them being exhausted.
  858.  
  859. Eventually I started fiddling around with my laptop and she hopped into
  860. the seat next to me.
  861.  
  862. “My name is Sarah.” She spoke, her voice revealing the same unease I felt
  863. when talking to strangers.
  864.  
  865. “I’m Eric.” I replied quietly, as though afraid I’d scare her away like a
  866. flock of birds.
  867.  
  868. “Where are you going?” She tilted her head. I got the impression she was
  869. worried that I’d get irritated with her for asking so many questions. I
  870. tried to consider how Chelsie or Caleb might respond, and suddenly Her
  871. fears didn’t seem too unfounded.
  872.  
  873. “San Diego.”
  874.  
  875. “Is that where you want to go?”
  876.  
  877. That follow up caught me completely off-guard. “No... Not really.”
  878.  
  879. “So then, where do you want to go?”
  880.  
  881. “I dunno. Home, I guess.”
  882.  
  883. “Your home isn’t in San Diego?”
  884.  
  885. I scoffed at the idea. “No, definitely not.”
  886.  
  887. “So then where is it?”
  888.  
  889. I closed my laptop and started putting it away. “I guess that’s what I’m
  890. trying to figure out.”
  891.  
  892. She nodded. That answer seemed to finally satisfy her stream of inquiry.
  893. That just made things awkward as she sat there trying to come up with a
  894. reason for her to be there.
  895.  
  896. “Where do you want to go?” I attempted to ease the tension.
  897.  
  898. “It doesn’t really matter where I want to go.” She crossed her arms and
  899. sulked at her parents. “It only matters where they want to go.”
  900.  
  901. I couldn’t help but laugh at the pint-sized display of anger. That seemed
  902. to wound her a bit, but I pressed on. “So when you’re an adult, where do
  903. you want to go?”
  904.  
  905. Her little blue eyes lit up and she practically jumped from her seat.
  906. “Appleloosa!”
  907.  
  908. I blinked, it couldn’t be. She must be talking about the horse club or
  909. something, this trip was already way too uncanny. “Come again?”
  910.  
  911. “You know, Appleloosa?” She stared at me like I was mentally handicapped.
  912. “It’s in the south?”
  913.  
  914. It’s a bit late in the day to be crushing a kid’s hopes, so why the hay
  915. not. She can visit Appleloosa when she’s all grown up.
  916.  
  917. “Of course! Right. I knew that, I just thought you were talking about some
  918. other town, that’s all.”
  919.  
  920. The two of us sat there, and the silence was even more awkward than
  921. before. She looked like she was about to speak several times. Her mouth
  922. would open and close like a fish trying to breath water on land. Finally
  923. she slipped off the chair and went back to her seat in the row in front of
  924. me. I couldn’t help but feel like some profound failure at dealing with
  925. little kids.
  926.  
  927. We passed into Utah, and the sun started to make it descent toward the
  928. horizon. It was amazing how empty this country is. I reflected on how it
  929. took riding a bus to really appreciate that truth. I wouldn’t want to live
  930. here in a time before cars. Not that I’d ever actually owned one myself.
  931.  
  932. I curled up on my two seats and started to drift off, and every so often
  933. Sarah would peek at me through the cracks in her seats. As long as it
  934. wasn’t James, I could stand the invasion of privacy.
  935.  
  936. A few dreamless hours of sleep later I awoke to a desert landscape and a
  937. night sky littered with stars. It was hard to see them through the bus’s
  938. light pollution, but they were there. Part of me wanted to order the
  939. driver to stop so I could run off into the desert, find a cave somewhere,
  940. and sleep next to some roaring fire that I would magic up with my
  941. absolutely pathetic survival skills.
  942.  
  943. Sarah was peeking her head over the top of her seat again, and she yelped
  944. when she saw that I was awake.
  945.  
  946. “I’m not going to gobble you up or anything, if that’s what you’re afraid
  947. of.”
  948.  
  949. She poked her head back over the side with a huge smile on her face, like
  950. what I had just said was hilarious and proved everything at the same time.
  951.  
  952. “Hello again.” She stated with a sense of pride, like she found some
  953. ancient treasure and was about to present it to the world.
  954.  
  955. “Hi.”
  956.  
  957. Her smile was tarnished by an expression of uncertainty, and she glanced
  958. around nervously before continuing. “Uhm... I just wanted to say that your
  959. sister is still out there. I just know it!”
  960.  
  961. I tilted my head, part of me wondered if I wasn’t still sleeping, but then
  962. I remembered I had an uncanny awareness for such things. “I don’t have a
  963. sister.”
  964.  
  965. Sarah looked mortified by what I had just said. It was like she had been
  966. my sister, and I had just openly denounced her. “But you do! You do have a
  967. sister! She hasn’t given up on you, so you can’t give up on her!”
  968.  
  969. I squinted at her, my mouth dropping open in disbelief. “Kid, I think
  970. you’ve got me confused for someone else.”
  971.  
  972. She dropped back down behind her seat, I could only just make out that she
  973. had crossed her arms. “Somepony,” she corrected me with a quiet snarl of
  974. frustration. “And you’re the one that’s confused... not me...”
  975.  
  976. I contemplated that odd little exchange for what must have been an hour
  977. before drifting back to sleep. I know it’s impossible to sleep without
  978. dreaming, so I marked their absence as a consequence of the bus bouncing
  979. up and down. It would explain why I never felt rested, and why sleep just
  980. felt like a way to skip ahead through time, at least. The dreamless sleep
  981. was really starting to mess with my mind, though. I’ve always been pretty
  982. good at lucid dreaming, or knowing when I was asleep, but I can’t remember
  983. actually getting bent out of shape if I didn’t have them.
  984.  
  985. When I woke up the sun was still down, and we were pulling into Las Vegas.
  986. The bus did a pretty good job of getting to the station while also making
  987. sure not to go anywhere near anything interesting. When we arrived, I
  988. waited for everyone else to get off first. I didn’t want to deal with
  989. people in any capacity right now, and that included dealing with traffic.
  990. Sarah reached down over the side of her seat and grabbed my hair with a
  991. sharp yank. I yelped in anger before apologizing, and then said my
  992. goodbyes. Her parents came over to collect her, apologized, and dragged
  993. her off.
  994.  
  995. Eventually Chelsie and the other two came up and said goodbye as well,
  996. they practically dragged the nameless one by the collar of his shirt. I
  997. had no idea what they’d gotten up to back there, and I honestly didn’t
  998. want to know.
  999.  
  1000. I was confused at first when I didn’t see James get off the bus. It must
  1001. have been a blessing, maybe he was locked up in the bathroom finishing a
  1002. beer or something. I grabbed my bag and got off the bus with all due
  1003. haste.
  1004.  
  1005. Waiting in the terminal was a bit exciting. All I could think about was
  1006. the prospect of being almost done with this terrible ordeal. I saw Sarah
  1007. one last time as her family headed for the exit. She waved, so I waved
  1008. back. Chelsie and Kaleb spent a few minutes arguing by the rental lockers,
  1009. then they took off without a word. Still no sign of James.
  1010.  
  1011. The sun was starting to come up by the time we started to board the bus
  1012. for LA. I didn’t want to risk running into James in the back, so I took
  1013. the seat immediately behind the busdriver. With the big plastic shell
  1014. surrounding him I was a bit cramped, but I figured I’d also have the best
  1015. access to the WiFi. If you went all the way to the back it tended to drop
  1016. in and out constantly.
  1017.  
  1018. My heart stopped when James appeared out of nowhere. He reached forward
  1019. and pinched me, just like before, and my mind died a second death.
  1020.  
  1021. “Hey! Mind if I sit here?”
  1022.  
  1023. ‘YES! I ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY MIND! I WILL RIP YOU TO PIECES AND USE YOUR
  1024. SOUL FOR FIRE WOOD YOU INSUFFERABLE DEGENERATE!’
  1025.  
  1026. “S-Sure...” I think I threw up in my mouth a little.
  1027.  
  1028. He took a seat and the already cramped quarters became my own special
  1029. hell. It was almost impossible for me to open my laptop up and make use of
  1030. it. But I made it work.
  1031.  
  1032. Nightwatch: Hey! GUESS WHAT?
  1033.  
  1034. Wintermute: Today is your birthday?
  1035.  
  1036. Nightwatch: Tonight, specifically!
  1037.  
  1038. Wintermute: Okay then.
  1039.  
  1040. Wintermute: Look, I can’t really talk, there is some perverted asshole
  1041. sitting next to me and he keeps trying to pinch my chest.
  1042.  
  1043. Wintermute: And also he's a rubbernecker.
  1044.  
  1045. Nightwatch: =O
  1046.  
  1047. Nightwatch: Has he violated your honor?!
  1048.  
  1049. Wintermute: I... What?
  1050.  
  1051. Nightwatch: Give me his name and face, and he shall not see another
  1052. sunrise!
  1053.  
  1054. Wintermute: I think this is getting out of hand. Look, I already said I
  1055. can’t talk. Warning issued. I will talk to you later, Happy Birthday.
  1056.  
  1057. Nightwatch: Thanks!
  1058.  
  1059. I minimized Skype and opened up a folder of videos saved on my computer.
  1060. What decently engaging and lengthy show can I watch, that I also have no
  1061. issues being seen to enjoy in public? I settle for old episodes of the
  1062. Game of Thrones. Secretly I hoped this would reinstate my manhood and
  1063. prevent the lecherous bastard sitting next to me from treating me like
  1064. some schoolyard fill- I mean... schoolgirl. That is definitely what I
  1065. meant to think. To myself. I am having a conversation with myself aren’t
  1066. I?
  1067.  
  1068. “Oh hey! I just started that season last week! Mind if I watch with you?
  1069. I’ve got earbuds!” He smiles at me and holds out a dirty white iPod
  1070. headset. I groan and remove my own, so I can at least avoid putting those
  1071. filthy things into my ear.
  1072.  
  1073. He takes one of the ear buds and places it in his ear, and I do the same
  1074. with my end. We watch the last couple episodes of the season before things
  1075. wind down to a close. I close the media player and let out a relieved
  1076. sigh.
  1077.  
  1078. “Welp, show’s over.”
  1079.  
  1080. “Ooh! Can we watch something else now?”
  1081.  
  1082. “Uh... What do you have in mind?” I have a pretty good feeling I am going
  1083. to regret asking.
  1084.  
  1085. “Ever since you mentioned that MLP Series finale, I’ve been dying to see
  1086. it! If it’s as awful as you say I’m sure my daughter and I can bond while
  1087. complaining about it!”
  1088.  
  1089. Oh yeah, I definitely regret asking.
  1090.  
  1091. “I’m really not in the mood to watch that show right now.”
  1092.  
  1093. “Why? Because you’re afraid someone might see?” He grinned viciously,
  1094. trying to egg me on. “Come on, after all that testosterone we just
  1095. injected a little estrogen isn’t going to kill you.”
  1096.  
  1097. “Really. Not. In the mood.”
  1098.  
  1099. James leaned over until he was practically whispering in my ear. “I’ve
  1100. been pretty patient with you, given you water, given you food, and shared
  1101. my pipe with you. I’m practically your personal Jesus Christ, and the
  1102. entire duration of this trip all you have been is distant. You’ve been a
  1103. spoiled little princess. Not the way you respond to an offering of
  1104. friendship.” He leaned back and smiled that bright smile. “So let’s just
  1105. watch the stupid show, alright?”
  1106.  
  1107. I meekly complied and started searching for it on Youtube. It didn’t take
  1108. long, the video was pretty notorious, and I guess it was receiving a lot
  1109. of hits lately, how coincidental.
  1110.  
  1111. The video opened without the usual intro that would inspire me to grit my
  1112. teeth, instead it was just dramatic music. Discord had arrived in the
  1113. capital to inform Celestia that something terrible had escaped from the
  1114. bowels of Tartarus. Bowels is not the sort of word I ever expected to hear
  1115. from a show for little girls.
  1116.  
  1117. Every time Celestia spoke I wanted to look away from the screen. She and
  1118. her sister had been the only reason I had ever watched this stupid show.
  1119. Episode one and two got me hooked, and everything that didn’t expand on
  1120. their relationship was just filler to me.
  1121.  
  1122. In light of that, it was very difficult for me to face what was going to
  1123. happen next. Celestia wanted to assemble the elements of harmony, but now
  1124. they were scattered so far apart. Things had been simple when Twilight was
  1125. still a student in Ponyville. Now she was a princess in her own right,
  1126. Rainbow Dash was a captain of the Wonderbolts, and Rarity had her own shop
  1127. in downtown Canterlot, a district second in traffic only to the royal
  1128. quarter. Applejack, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie at least still lived in
  1129. Ponyville, but it would just take too much time to round up everypony
  1130. individually.
  1131.  
  1132.         Celestia rushed off with Discord to seal this creature back where
  1133. it belonged. Just a few moments and it was a done deal. With Discord’s
  1134. help, she wouldn’t even need Luna.
  1135.  
  1136.         She wouldn’t even need Luna.
  1137.  
  1138.         She wouldn’t even need...
  1139.  
  1140.         Then of course the betrayal happened. Celestia was knocked down
  1141. into the pit below. Discord arrived at Twilight’s room, zapped her to who
  1142. knows where, and now for the worst part, the final confrontation with
  1143. Princess...
  1144.  
  1145.         Wait, what? Why are the credits rolling?
  1146.  
  1147.         I grit my teeth together trying to figure out what the deal was.
  1148. Was this some poorly conceived troll?
  1149.  
  1150.         “Well I don’t know what you’re complaining about! I think that was
  1151. a great ending!” He clapped me on the shoulder. “It’s pretty daring, you
  1152. know? A girl’s cartoon that ends with the bad guy winning? Maybe I
  1153. misjudged that show.”
  1154.  
  1155.         I looked around at the related videos, and started digging through
  1156. the comments. There had to be an answer. “Hold on, that’s not the whole
  1157. episode, I think that one’s a joke. Let me find another one.”
  1158.  
  1159.         I tried a few versions of the episode, and each time it ended the
  1160. same way. I did notice one thing of note, however. Some of the comments
  1161. were just as pissed off as I was, and for the same reason! The unusual
  1162. part being that everyone seemed to be inquiring about a missing scene over
  1163. ponies that didn’t even seem relevant to the plot. Why the hell would
  1164. Berry Punch have a final showdown in the series finale? She didn’t even
  1165. have a voice role in the show.
  1166.  
  1167.         “Well, looks like you must have just misremembered something. It’s
  1168. been five years, right? No biggie.” He sniffed and popped his headphones
  1169. out of his pocket and plugged them into his ears. He flashed me a
  1170. condescending smile and added. “Thanks for letting me watch. I know it was
  1171. a big deal for you.”
  1172.  
  1173.         “... Sure, no problem.”
  1174.  
  1175.         The short remainder of the trip was awkward, he kept to himself
  1176. and listened to his music, and I put my laptop away before listening to
  1177. mine. We pulled into Los Angeles a bit later than expected, and because we
  1178. were sitting behind the driver we were two of the first off the bus.
  1179.  
  1180.         I was beyond ecstatic to be away from him. That creep had been
  1181. nothing but a nightmare ever since we’d met, delicious cucumbers be
  1182. damned. If I saw him again I was going to bust the teeth right out of his
  1183. smile. My heart rate was increasing, and I decided to make way for the
  1184. bathroom. Maybe splashing some water against my face would calm me down.
  1185.  
  1186.         The bathroom was filthy, like most bus terminal bathrooms are, and
  1187. there was an ethereal ambiance playing over the speakers. The water
  1188. smelled awful, or at least, maybe the plumbing did? Regardless, the cool
  1189. water went a long way to calm my nerves, and as added bonus no one was in
  1190. there with me.
  1191.  
  1192.         Blessing became curse when I heard the door swing shut and click
  1193. into place. My eyes started to go wide even before James rounded the
  1194. corner, smiling that omnipresent smile.
  1195.  
  1196.         “Hey man! Traveling across the country like that was an
  1197. experience! We should do it again sometime!” He came within arms reach of
  1198. me.
  1199.  
  1200.         ‘Do it Eric. Punch him in the jaw, just do it!’
  1201.  
  1202.         I didn’t do anything, he just kept talking. “What’s your
  1203. facebook?”
  1204.  
  1205.         “I don’t... I don’t use facebook?”
  1206.  
  1207.         “It’s 2020, and you don’t book face?”
  1208.  
  1209.         I slowly shook my head no, my expression was tortured like a child
  1210. that had just been caught cleaning the toilet with his brother’s tooth
  1211. brush. By his brother.
  1212.  
  1213.         “Well, you should really get my number, Luna.” He sneered at me
  1214. and reached out with one hand, burying his gnarled fingers through my hair
  1215. and into my scalp. I yelped in surprise and tried to pull back, but he
  1216. held fast. “After all, I’ve got yours...”
  1217.  
  1218.         His yellow eyes sparkled malevolently and he just held me there,
  1219. staring into my eyes. “Now little Lulu, I hope this whole experience
  1220. hasn’t made you... uncomfortable. I’ve invested a lot of energy into
  1221. making sure you don’t place a single hoof onto my stage. So things better
  1222. stay that way. Kapeesh?”
  1223.  
  1224.         “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, you god-damned
  1225. nut job! I’m not Luna!”
  1226.  
  1227.         “Hmm? Oh, maybe not yet anyway. But you were starting to wake up
  1228. early. You alicorns are so high maintenance, I honestly can’t stand you.”
  1229.  
  1230.         James made a face and delivered in a mocking tone. “It practically
  1231. took weeks to get little miss Princess Mi Amore Cadenza out of her damn
  1232. fortress. Why can’t all alicorns be as useless as you?”
  1233.  
  1234.         
  1235.  
  1236. I winced. My heart rate started to escalate faster than ever before.
  1237. tendrils of green and black smoke started to waft from his eyes.
  1238.  
  1239.         “Anyyyyyyway. Since you accepted all three of my gifts, I get to
  1240. do this now!”
  1241.  
  1242. You’ll never have the leading role!
  1243.  
  1244. But don’t despair, you still have goals!
  1245.  
  1246. We shared our food, our drink, our hearth!
  1247.  
  1248. Perceive this darkness inside your heart!
  1249.  
  1250.         By the time the curse was concluded I was gasping for breath and
  1251. clutching my chest. The black and green smoke rushed into me through my
  1252. nose and mouth, and I struggled to stay on my feet and conscious. The last
  1253. thing I remember saying was “But... it doesn’t even rhyme...”
  1254.  
  1255.         James huffed, a trail of dragon like smoke shooting from his
  1256. mouth. “Oh Luna, don’t even start.”
  1257.  
  1258.         
  1259.  
  1260.         I came to when a loud angry banging echoed through the bathroom. I
  1261. looked around wildly, I was alone. The facet I had been using was still
  1262. spilling out into the sink, and a small folded up piece of paper was
  1263. sitting on the counter.
  1264.  
  1265.         Got your number! Here’s mine: 666-2317 >:)
  1266.  
  1267.         I groaned and slipped the note into my pocket before shambling to
  1268. the door. I opened it expecting security guards, instead I found a man and
  1269. his son, who was dancing madly the dance of the rainmaker.
  1270.  
  1271.         He shook his head angrily and stormed in right through me. “God
  1272. damn junkie, you’re lucky I didn’t have time to call security.”
  1273.  
  1274.         I did feel pretty lucky, because at that moment my bus was
  1275. boarding, and I raced toward it like someone desperate to escape a
  1276. nightmare.
  1277.  
  1278.         The trip wasn’t even in a Greyhound, it was some offshoot charter
  1279. brand or something. There was no power and no internet, and the little
  1280. televisions hanging from the ceiling didn’t work either. I resigned myself
  1281. to an unpleasant ride, but consoled myself that it would at least be
  1282. short.
  1283.  
  1284.         When I got to San Diego, no one was waiting for me. Which wasn’t
  1285. surprising, I said in my email that I could get back to the house on my
  1286. own. A couple of hours on the trolley and a few transfers later, and I had
  1287. arrived at my childhood home just in time for dinner.
  1288.  
  1289.         Or I would have been if anyone was there. I wasn’t sure why the
  1290. door was locked, I told them I’d be showing up today. With some difficulty
  1291. I jumped high enough to grab the roof of the parking structure surrounding
  1292. our condo. I pulled myself up, the small rocks on it’s surface digging
  1293. into my skin. I walked around to the tiny cell that functioned as our back
  1294. yard and leapt down into the grass. The sliding glass door was never
  1295. locked, and getting inside was easy at that point.
  1296.  
  1297.         I took the time to shower, shave, brush my teeth, basically remove
  1298. all the disgusting homeless person that had built up during my trip, and
  1299. curled up on the couch with a book to read. My mom was the first person
  1300. home, and her surprise was equally gratifying and insulting.
  1301.  
  1302.         “Oh! Hello!” She said through clenched teeth. “You’re here today!”
  1303.  
  1304.         I blinked at her and stood up. “Well, yeah. Didn’t you read my
  1305. email?”
  1306.  
  1307.         “Oh sweety, you know I don’t check my email.”
  1308.  
  1309.         “I called you in advance and asked if it was okay for me to stay
  1310. here awhile, when you said yes I told you I’d be sending you an email with
  1311. more info about when.”
  1312.  
  1313.         “Yes... Well.” She stood there stiffly, a condition that only
  1314. became worse when I tried to abandon my exasperation and hug her.
  1315.  
  1316.         “Well. It’s good to see you again.” I said. “Hopefully I won’t be
  1317. here too long.”
  1318.  
  1319.         “Oh... No. Take as long as you need!” My mom flashed me one of her
  1320. rehearsed smiles.
  1321.  
  1322.         I shook my head and went to the kitchen to start working on
  1323. dinner. My older and younger brother, Robert and John, respectively, came
  1324. storming in an hour later.
  1325.  
  1326.         Somehow they were built in the greek image of perfection, and I
  1327. was the slight and waifish figure that provoked... well, creepy assholes
  1328. on public buses to pinch their nipples. At least I was taller than them,
  1329. but that didn’t stop them from abusing me. Somehow I managed to land the
  1330. youngest sibling slot despite my seniority.
  1331.  
  1332.         “Hey Eric!” Robert clapped me on the back, a social gesture I wish
  1333. could be banished to the enchanted confines of the moon. “Wasn’t expecting
  1334. you here today! What are you making for dinner?”
  1335.  
  1336.         “...Soup.”
  1337.  
  1338.         “Can we get a little elaboration?” John chimed in.
  1339.  
  1340.         
  1341.  
  1342. “It’s chicken tortilla soup.” I paused. “Robert, please get off of me.”
  1343.  
  1344.         Robert’s eyes went wide and he pried his hand free before waiving
  1345. it in the air like a daring lion tamer. “As you wish your royal highness!”
  1346.  
  1347.         That phrase made me quake like a leaf, and I couldn’t keep it
  1348. under wraps. For the first time since I could remember, my older brother
  1349. looked worried about me.
  1350.  
  1351. “Hey, are you okay? You didn’t catch anything did you?” Robert grabbed my
  1352. chin, my family doesn’t really respect the concept of personal space. “You
  1353. look like shit. Your eyes are sorta yellow.”
  1354.  
  1355. I shook him off and began stirring the soup. “I’m fine! Get off of me! I
  1356. just haven’t really slept in a few days.”
  1357.  
  1358. John hated to be outdone by Robert. He grabbed the ladle from my hand and
  1359. shoved me aside. “Then go get some rest you big idiot, we’ll handle dinner
  1360. tonight Cinderella.”
  1361.  
  1362.         The faint pounding in my head that had persisted ever since that
  1363. stop in LA came in full force. My hand shot out and wrapped around John’s
  1364. throat like a wolf’s jaws around a rabbit’s neck. “Don’t. Call me that.” I
  1365. used my other hand to retrieve the ladle from him. “I started dinner, I’m
  1366. going to finish dinner. Or is that not alright with you?”
  1367.  
  1368.         “Uh... sure man... whatever, right?” John backed away, but Robert
  1369. wasn’t so easily cowed.
  1370.  
  1371.         “You’re sure you’re alright then?” He placed a hand on John’s
  1372. shoulder and slowly pulled him away to safety.
  1373.  
  1374.         ‘Yes. FINALLY some respect, I am older than that prepubescent
  1375. little idiot, and I deserve to be treated as such!’
  1376.  
  1377. I shook my head to clear it of the pounding, and let the ladle sink into
  1378. the soup.
  1379.  
  1380.         “Actually, I’m not really sure.” I stammered and took a step back.
  1381. “I think I’m going to go lay down or something.”
  1382.  
  1383.         “You can use my room.” Robert said, he lead me there like I had no
  1384. idea where I was going, but thankfully avoided grabbing my hand.
  1385.  
  1386.         The room was just like I remembered it, stuffed with bad music
  1387. posters and pictures of barely naked women. But at least the bed was
  1388. clean. I curled up on the mattress without much of a fight. I couldn’t
  1389. stop shaking. Robert held the door open for a second longer and muttered.
  1390.  
  1391.         “Get some sleep, alright?”
  1392.  
  1393.         He didn’t need to ask me a third time.
  1394.  
  1395. It was all my fault, I should have been there! I should have been there!
  1396.  
  1397. Where had I been instead? In bed, observing the dreams of adolescents and
  1398. foals?! The fate of Equestria hung in the balance and Princess Luna was
  1399. NOWHERE to be seen! That makes what, four times in a row?
  1400.  
  1401. I looked around wildly, no... Not in bed, not back home. I was still in
  1402. the moon. Still in that infernal inferior celestial object as it whirled
  1403. around the sky at the behest of my big sister.
  1404.  
  1405. I hated her. I hated her more than words could express. How could she
  1406. choose his help over mine? It was her fault! It was her fault all of this
  1407. had happened to us, happened to Twilight...
  1408.  
  1409.         I gnashed my teeth and stomped at the magical walls of my prison
  1410. with rage-fueled vigor. The stars danced madly overhead. Celestia can move
  1411. the sun and moon, but she wasn’t very good at manipulating the stars. Even
  1412. I was barely capable of such.
  1413.  
  1414.         But they loved me, at least. Even at my worst they cared for me,
  1415. and when the stars come right, well...
  1416.  
  1417.         For Five Score, Divided by Four...
  1418.  
  1419.         Patience is a virtue, I guess.
  1420.  
  1421. I woke up in the dead of night, covered in sweat, but with a dry mouth.
  1422. You can’t explain that, science did it. A cursory glance at the alarm
  1423. clock informed me that it was now five in the morning, the sun would be
  1424. rising soon. I considered going back to sleep, but in all honesty I was
  1425. feeling absolutely disgusting. I needed a shower like never before.
  1426.  
  1427. ‘No matter how hard you scrub, you’ll never be clean Luna!’ A mirth-filled
  1428. voice echoed through my mind. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and
  1429. padded out of the bedroom and into the full bathroom right next to it.
  1430.  
  1431. The shower felt really great, and got rid of the sweat nicely, but it
  1432. didn’t really do much to make me feel cleaner. Stupid mocking head voice.
  1433. Why do you always know the future?
  1434.  
  1435.         I climbed out of the shower and began drying myself off with two
  1436. of the only things I had left behind. I was surprised they were still
  1437. there, actually. Two towels, one dark blue and the other black.
  1438. Considering what I finally noticed next, they were oddly appropriate in
  1439. colour.
  1440.  
  1441.         On either side of my thighs there was a small unevenly shaped
  1442. blob, pitch black in colour. they were an odd shade of black that should
  1443. have been impossible, with tattoo ink anyway. I ran my hand along them
  1444. expecting to feel hair or fur or something, but there was nothing. It was
  1445. difficult to describe really. Inside each was a small crescent white moon.
  1446. It only took a second to realize what I was looking at, and when the penny
  1447. dropped my mouth dropped with it.
  1448.  
  1449. “Well, that wasn’t there before...”
  1450.  
  1451. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  1452.  
  1453. Nightmares and Dreamscapes
  1454.  
  1455.         “Nopony must know of this...” I stammered while looking down at
  1456. my exposed cutiemark. It took a second or two to realize what I had just
  1457. said. “Ugh! This should be a dream! Why isn’t it a dream?” I dragged out
  1458. the word dream with a childish whine that almost resulted in the nervous
  1459. grinding of teeth.
  1460.  
  1461.         I turned the lights off and sat down on the closed toilet, sitting
  1462. in the dark was often an invaluable technique for calming myself down.
  1463. Denying my senses any input gives them less to work with, except for when
  1464. I was feeling particularly imaginative. Right now I was a bit too
  1465. preoccupied to start inventing nightmarish creatures that were crawling up
  1466. the bathtub’s drain.
  1467.  
  1468.         The cutiemark on either of my thighs wasn’t so easily avoided
  1469. unfortunately. It was a bit weird and... well, neat, actually. The blotch
  1470. and the crescent moon stood out against the darkness very faintly. It was
  1471. not at all like typical black light effects, or glow in the dark
  1472. illumination. The light seemed unusually natural, considering the source,
  1473. and it pulsed as though it were alive. One of my ears did its best to
  1474. flick as I focused my attention on my shiny new cutiemark. I grabbed at it
  1475. with both hands and yelped, silencing myself last second as much as I
  1476. could.
  1477.  
  1478.         “I hate when it does that!” I growled out. “It feels so weird...”
  1479.  
  1480.         I released my ear and calmed down. My issues were so much bigger
  1481. than twitchy ears, and right now it wasn’t worth the distraction. I looked
  1482. back down at the small representations of the night sky. The soft glow was
  1483. quickly starting to hypnotize me, and if I listened close I swore I could
  1484. hear the soft hum of something... indistinct.
  1485.  
  1486.         “Ha!” I shouted a bit too loudly, given the hour. “It’s magic!”
  1487.  
  1488. I had to admit, I suddenly wasn’t so bent out of shape. Real magic, and it
  1489. wasn’t a dream! It was a motherfucking miracle. I had half a mind to paint
  1490. myself up like a clown. And then the other foot dropped.
  1491.  
  1492.         ‘This is Luna’s cutiemark.’ I took another worried glance back
  1493. down. ‘What the hay am I doing with Luna’s cutiemark?’ 
  1494.  
  1495.         Unbidden, my mind filled with the events from the previous week.
  1496. Josh kissing my hand, the little girl on the bus, and the episode with
  1497. James that I had soundly placed out of mind for the sake of my sanity.
  1498.  
  1499.         Delicate. Flower.
  1500.  
  1501.         I stumbled backwards and yelped. The heels of my feet had struck
  1502. the side of the tub, and they could go no further, but the rest of me
  1503. wasn’t so convinced. I tumbled backwards into the tub with a loud thud.
  1504.  
  1505.         I winced and clutched the side of my head for a few moments before
  1506. a sharp knock on the door sounded the presence of another. “Are you
  1507. alright in there?” I heard Robert’s gruff voice echo through the bathroom
  1508. door.
  1509.  
  1510.         “Y-Yes! We are fi-” I coughed and clutched at my throat. Did...
  1511. Did my voice just crack?
  1512.  
  1513.         . . . Did I just use the royal we?
  1514.  
  1515.         “I’m coming in.” He shoved open the door, and I mentally smacked
  1516. myself for not opening the counter drawer as a makeshift deadbolt.
  1517.  
  1518.         Instead what I did was cry out and cover up my privates with a
  1519. towel. In retrospect a pointless maneuver, it’s not like I had anything he
  1520. hadn’t seen before, or vice versa. “Robert... I’m naked.”
  1521.  
  1522.         He paused in the doorway and cocked his head. “I can see that.” He
  1523. closed the door behind him and then flicked on the bathroom lights. The
  1524. light was almost blinding after my long sit in the dark. I closed my eyes
  1525. defensively and pulled back.
  1526.  
  1527.         “Jeez Eric, got yourself some nice tattoos there.” When I opened
  1528. my eyes he was hunched over by the side of the tub, and was poking
  1529. my cutiemark experimentally.
  1530.  
  1531.         I swatted at his hand nervously while using my spare to hide
  1532. behind the towel. “What are you doing?! Stop that!” I recoiled further
  1533. into the tub and winced when the cold metal of the facet grazed my back.
  1534. “It’s not a tattoo...” I whimpered.
  1535.  
  1536.         “Are you sure?” That old big brother tone entered his voice and
  1537. his lips curled into an expression of knowing mirth. “Because it looks
  1538. like you tattoo’d Luna’s cutiemark onto your butt.” He clasped his hands
  1539. together and laughed out. “Oh Eric, now you really are a princess!”
  1540.  
  1541.         I don’t know what I was thinking. My heart rate was sky high, so I
  1542. guess that’s evidence toward the conclusion that I hadn’t. My hand sailed
  1543. out and collided with his face, the echo from the slap was almost
  1544. deafening as it ricocheted off the walls. In the aftermath, I was
  1545. hyperventilating with my hand outstretched, and Robert’s face was red like
  1546. the inside of a plum. It was obvious there was going to be a bruise. He
  1547. clutched the side of his face with a pained expression.
  1548.  
  1549. I gathered my senses, and upon recognizing my extremely effeminate
  1550. position I yelped and curled inward, wrapping the towel completely around
  1551. myself. “Not a tattoo...” I mumbled out before purposefully avoiding his
  1552. gaze.
  1553.  
  1554.         “Relax Eric, I know that. I was just teasing you.” Robert rubbed
  1555. at his jaw. “You should really stick to slapping, they’re way worse than
  1556. your punches.”
  1557.  
  1558.         I ignored his last statement. “How can you tell?”
  1559.  
  1560.         “That it’s not a tattoo?”
  1561.  
  1562.         I nodded quietly.
  1563.  
  1564.         Robert reached over and pulled back the left sleeve of his shirt,
  1565. around his arm was a band of ink for every year he’d been alive. I didn’t
  1566. need to count to know there was 31 of them, and pretty soon there would be
  1567. 32. The closer they got to the base of the wrist the more faded they
  1568. appeared. The first 18 must have been done at once, because they all had
  1569. the same faded greenish black colour.
  1570.  
  1571.         “Because that is what a real tattoo looks like.” He stated matter
  1572. of factly. “Whatever you’ve got going there, it looks like a birthmark,
  1573. but... It’s like someone painted it on.” He shook his head in disbelief.
  1574. “You’re not going to get a white moon that is that unblemished at a tattoo
  1575. parlor. Unless you found someone who has perfected mysterious techniques
  1576. from the exotic orient.”
  1577.  
  1578.         “It’s a cutiemark...” I half whispered to myself.
  1579.  
  1580.         Robert beamed down at me. “It sure looks like it!” He walked over
  1581. to the sink and wet a rag with cold water before applying it to his face.
  1582. “So how’d you get it?”
  1583.  
  1584.         “I had a nightmare, so I decided to take a shower.” I exaggerated
  1585. a shrug enough for the gesture to be visible through the towel. “I just
  1586. woke up with it, this morning.”
  1587.  
  1588.         “This morning, huh?”
  1589.  
  1590.         Once again, I nodded.
  1591.  
  1592.         “Well, happy birthday I suppose.” He reached his hand into his
  1593. back pocket and dug out a small orangish-brown envelope before tossing it
  1594. to me. I stretched my hands out from under the towel and caught it.
  1595.  
  1596.         “What is this?”
  1597.  
  1598.         “It’s your birthday present.”
  1599.  
  1600.         “But... why? You didn’t even know I was going to be here
  1601. yesterday.” I looked down and started scrutinizing it carefully, ready for
  1602. a prank.
  1603.  
  1604.         “Read the envelope Eric... I was going to mail it today.”
  1605.  
  1606.         Sure enough the package had my old address in Wisconsin on it.
  1607.  
  1608.         “Go ahead, open it.” He sat Indian-style against the bathroom door
  1609. and leaned into it, clutching the cold rag to his face.
  1610.  
  1611.         It wasn’t that difficult to open, though I did end up resorting to
  1612. my teeth. I guess in my emotional state I lost quite a bit of my
  1613. dexterity, because I kept fumbling with my hands. With a slow rip I tore
  1614. at one of the ends. I gently tapped the side of it against the towel and
  1615. the contents fell out onto the relatively yielding safety of the material,
  1616. instead of the hard surface of the tub. The first object I noticed was a
  1617. necklace. It was hard to miss with the large dark blue crystal perched in
  1618. the center. The crystal was held in place by the most amazing
  1619. wire-wrapping job ever. It was elegant in a sort of dark way, possessed of
  1620. both sharp edges and graceful curves. It wasn’t like anything I’d ever
  1621. seen in some jewelry shop.
  1622.  
  1623.         “Robert... How did you get this?”
  1624.  
  1625.         “DeviantArt, 200 dollars.”
  1626.  
  1627.         “You bought me a necklace off DeviantArt?” I raised a brow at him.
  1628.  
  1629.         He winced at the quickly developing bruise. “Hey, if you don’t
  1630. want it, I’ll wear it.”
  1631.  
  1632.         “No No! I want it, it’s just...” I looked down at the necklace and
  1633. folded my fingers around the pendent. “Thanks...”
  1634.  
  1635.         I reached down and picked up the second object, which was a
  1636. letter. It was handwritten ink on blank white printer paper. It was also
  1637. unevenly folded, but I always had a hard time with that myself.
  1638.  
  1639. Hey Eric
  1640.  
  1641. I know we didn’t get along very well growing up. But I just wanted to
  1642. write you for your birthday and tell you how proud I am of you. This is
  1643. your first birthday way from home, right? You finally got out man, and I
  1644. think thats great!
  1645.  
  1646. You seem to really like shiny things, and this made me think of you. I
  1647. hope you don’t mind that it’s basically jewelry, I know how sensitive you
  1648. can be about your masculinity (Or lack thereof! Ha!)
  1649.  
  1650. Happy Birthday
  1651.  
  1652. Robert
  1653.  
  1654.         I folded the letter up and slipped it back into the envelope.
  1655. “Thank you...” I fiddled with the chain of the necklace a bit. “It was
  1656. very thoughtful, we appreciate your gift.”
  1657.  
  1658.         Eric snickered, and I clapped a hand over my mouth.
  1659.  
  1660.         “We, huh?”
  1661.  
  1662.         “Robert! You can’t tell anyone about the...” My voice talespinned
  1663. into a squeaky whisper. “Cutiemark...”
  1664.  
  1665.         “Hey, don’t worry Luna.” He stated mockingly. “I won’t tell
  1666. anyone, it’ll be our little secret.”
  1667.  
  1668.         I ignored his teasing and stood up. I bent over and snatched up
  1669. the extra towel, draping it over my shoulders. The first towel was wrapped
  1670. around my waist, so most of my figure was now obfuscated enough to suit my
  1671. nerves. “Thank you.”
  1672.  
  1673.         “Don’t mention it.” He stood up. “If anyone asks, I slipped and
  1674. fell into the doorknob.”
  1675.  
  1676.         “If anyone asks, I fell in the shower, and my voice did not
  1677. crack.”
  1678.  
  1679.         He held out a hand and we shook on it. “Deal.”
  1680.  
  1681.         I climbed out of the tub and yawned. “I should get some more
  1682. sleep.”
  1683.  
  1684.         Robert nodded and opened the bathroom door. “After you milady.” He
  1685. held his hand out like some kind of manservant.
  1686.  
  1687.         I was about to become my usual indignant self, but a flash of heat
  1688. from my thighs interrupted me, and instead of yelling at him I merely
  1689. huffed. “We are more than prepared to strike thee a second time.”
  1690.  
  1691.         Robert looked incredibly confused by the archaic speech, but he
  1692. stood up straight and stopped with the charade.
  1693.  
  1694.         “Much better.” I replied, and stepped proudly out of the bathroom
  1695. and back into the bedroom.
  1696.  
  1697.         When the door closed behind me I fell back against it. The wave of
  1698. heat dissipated and I was feeling absolutely frigid all of a sudden. I
  1699. slid down until I was sprawled out on my rear, a detail that only reminded
  1700. me of the mark I now shared with a certain cartoon horse. I closed my eyes
  1701. and ran a tense hand through my hair.
  1702.  
  1703.         What the hell was happening to me? Why was I speaking so
  1704. strangely? Why was I acting this way? I felt like an absolute stranger to
  1705. myself. Am I going to start speaking in caps-lock soon? As abrupt as some
  1706. of the changes in personality were, it was getting very hard to tell where
  1707. Luna began and I ended.
  1708.  
  1709.         ‘Assuming there is any difference at all.’ I thought bitterly.
  1710.  
  1711.         My other hand was still holding the necklace my brother had given
  1712. me, and I stared at it. It glinted in the soft light of near-dawn, and
  1713. scattered the light around pleasantly. It really was beautiful.
  1714.  
  1715.         ‘I bet it will match my coat quite well. Tia will be so jealous!’ 
  1716.  
  1717.         My eyes widened.
  1718.  
  1719.         Ah ha, yeah... No. We’re going back to sleep now.
  1720.  
  1721.         I mean I am going back to sleep now!
  1722.  
  1723.         With a frustrated sob I picked myself up and stepped lightly to
  1724. the bed. A cold feeling in my chest was still spreading out through my
  1725. veins and making me shiver, so when I collapsed onto it I scooped up all
  1726. of the blankets and bundled myself in them tightly.
  1727.  
  1728. The insulation from the blankets didn’t seem to do much besides trap the
  1729. cold in. I thrashed about a bit trying to get warm before finally giving
  1730. up and curling up into a ball with my back against the wall. It felt like
  1731. icy fingers were wrapping themselves around my heart, and I wasn’t sure
  1732. how I was going to cope.
  1733.  
  1734.         As I got myself situated however, a gentle pulse of warmth
  1735. resonated from where my new cutiemark was located. It did a pretty good
  1736. job of driving off most of the cold, though it remained particularly bad
  1737. in my chest. I couldn’t really help myself at that point, I murmured
  1738. happily and reveled in the feelings sweeping through my body.
  1739.  
  1740.         Sure, everything was changing, and this was my body. My
  1741. precious body. But isn’t change what I was looking for in the first place
  1742. when I left home all those months ago? The mental changes were especially
  1743. frightening still, but all of this still felt... really nice!
  1744.  
  1745.         I drifted off to sleep then. The warmth filling my body continued
  1746. to battle that invasive coldness. Those twin sensations ushered me into
  1747. sleep together.
  1748.  
  1749.         I’ll never understand why people claim you can’t dream in colour,
  1750. or read in your dreams. If anything colours were exaggerated in my dreams.
  1751. Reading was as simple as noting the address and names on the side of the
  1752. mailboxes, and based on those, I wasn’t too far from my father’s house. I
  1753. probably could have left if I wanted to, but the natural gravity provided
  1754. by the dream’s intensity pulled me forward, and I didn’t see a reason to
  1755. fight back. The secret to relaxation in the dreamlands is to just go with
  1756. the flow.
  1757.  
  1758.         For the most part, anyway.
  1759.  
  1760.         My father and mother divorced early on after my younger brother
  1761. had been born. He was a bit of a lecherous pig, and I didn’t really enjoy
  1762. his company much anyway. He always hollered after women or acted like some
  1763. kind of stud whenever I was around. It’s the same way he acted around guys
  1764. in general, really, and it was as though I was expected to find him
  1765. cool for this behavior. He was trying to earn my respect, and that was his
  1766. first step towards losing it.
  1767.  
  1768.         I had an older sister from before he met my mother, and he never
  1769. acted that way around her. He acted like... Well, what I hope qualifies
  1770. for himself. He would never act that way around me, and I always resented
  1771. him for that. Her as well, but since I never interacted with her it was
  1772. hardly an issue that ever came up.
  1773.  
  1774.         That soft and gentle inertia led me to the front yard of his
  1775. house. The grass was well kept and there was a large tree for shade, as
  1776. well as a trampoline. Dad met an overweight singer at his local church,
  1777. and she was desperate to get married and have kids. I guess her biological
  1778. clock was running out and such. She had rich parent, so.Dad made out like
  1779. a bandit. She was so grateful that she didn’t even care about his
  1780. wandering eyes, or hands.
  1781.  
  1782.         The picket fence was gone. That was new, I certainly didn't
  1783. remember that from the last time I visited. Around the perimeter of the
  1784. yard were long wooden stakes with wire stretched in a hexagonal pattern
  1785. around them. On the other side of the wire was a thick brown cardboard,
  1786. like when you get those little tubes of biscuit dough for dinner. While
  1787. scrutinizing the layout an understand dawned on me. He was replacing his
  1788. old picket fence with a wall.
  1789.  
  1790.         That gravity began tugging at me once more, and I knew I had to
  1791. find my father. At this time of day I assumed he would be in the backyard
  1792. working on his garden. So I rounded the house and made my way towards it.
  1793.  
  1794.         When I dream, I make a game of noticing the interesting
  1795. incongruencies. To veer on a Jungian tangent, dreams are intuition based,
  1796. and less sensing based. This might account for why people claim you cannot
  1797. read or see in colour in dreams... But that’s a thought exercise for
  1798. another time.
  1799.  
  1800. The first thing I noticed about this dream was that everything ‘was much
  1801. larger than it should have been. The stakes went up to my shoulders,
  1802. instead of my waist. The house towered like a castle, and I could even
  1803. make out a pennant flying high at the top. When I finally reached the
  1804. garden the vegetables had received the same treatment. The pumpkins were
  1805. as big as carriages, and the the heads of lettuce were as big as cardboard
  1806. boxes.
  1807.  
  1808.         “Eric?” I heard my father’s voice call out in an angry and
  1809. confused tone.
  1810.  
  1811. So, It was one of those dreams.
  1812.  
  1813.         I turned around to face him. My father was always a big man. He
  1814. worked for a moving company for most of his life, and never cut his hair,
  1815. and in this dream his size was also exaggerated. He looked like a towering
  1816. barbarian king come to demand his offering of slaves.
  1817.  
  1818.         “What are you doing standing around? Get back to work!” He tossed
  1819. a shovel at me, expecting me to catch it. I calmly stepped to the side,
  1820. and it clattered to the ground by my feet. My only response was a smirk.
  1821.  
  1822.         His jaw went slack, and his face turned red. “What are you doing?
  1823. Pick up that shovel!”
  1824.  
  1825.         
  1826.  
  1827.         “Yeah, I just don’t think that’s going to happen.” I looked down
  1828. at the shovel and spat at it. “Sorry pops, no free labor today!”
  1829.  
  1830.         He marched the rest of the distance between us and thrust a finger
  1831. against my chest. The waves of anger tugged and twisted at the dream,
  1832. disturbing the flow and amping up the intensity. Things were getting out
  1833. of hand. If they continued, the gravity would likely be too strong for me
  1834. to fight against. I’d find myself in a nightmare, and those are unpleasant
  1835. on the best of nights.
  1836.  
  1837.         I acted on instinct, even I do that in dreams on occasion. I
  1838. shoved the towering man back with unexpected strength. When he stepped
  1839. back his face was a blistering beet red, and he swung at me. I ducked
  1840. beneath the blow and scooped up the shovel by the handle in one movement,
  1841. then rolled around his side and behind him with the next. Before he could
  1842. recover from his attempted haymaker I brought the metal end of the shovel
  1843. down on his head, hard.
  1844.  
  1845.         With a crack that echoed through the dream he collapsed onto the
  1846. ground in a heap. I lifted the shovel high into the air and prepared to
  1847. stab it down like a spear right into his back, but before I could complete
  1848. the movement a voice called out to me.
  1849.  
  1850.         “Stop!”
  1851.  
  1852.         I took one of my hands off the handle and lowered the shovel to my
  1853. side. Standing by my father’s side was one of his newer kids. Jordan, I
  1854. think this one’s name was. Jordan was the oldest from what I remember
  1855. anyway. He stood by my father's crumpled body and his slingshot was drawn
  1856. like he was David fighting Goliath. If this were anyone else’s dream I’d
  1857. feel like I interrupted something important, but since that was obviously
  1858. impossible, and this was mine, I couldn’t help but feel like I was meant
  1859. to be upstaged again.
  1860.  
  1861.         By a kid with a slingshot.
  1862.  
  1863.         “You step away from my father!” He bellowed.
  1864.  
  1865.         “You step away from mine!”
  1866.  
  1867.         Jordan shook his head with an expression of righteous anger. “He’s
  1868. not your father! Stop pretending to be Eric!”
  1869.  
  1870.         “What the hell are you talking about? Of course I’m Eric! Now get
  1871. out of the way while I finish this stupid dream!”
  1872.  
  1873.         Jordan pulled the cord on his slingshot back a bit further. “It’s
  1874. not a dream, it’s a nightmare, and you’re not Eric. Eric doesn’t have eyes
  1875. like that.”
  1876.  
  1877.         “What?”
  1878.  
  1879.         “Eric has brown eyes, yours aren’t even human.” He spat at me.
  1880. “They’re weird and funny looking, like a demon’s!”
  1881.  
  1882.         I felt a sharp icey stab of pain in my thighs, and pulled the
  1883. waist of my pants out so I could look down and see what the matter was.
  1884.  
  1885.         That’s weird, when did I get Luna’s cutiemark?
  1886.  
  1887. It was pulsing too, fading from a dark purple to pitch black. The purple
  1888. light was almost malevolent, and my mind immediately drew a comparison to
  1889. cancer. I looked around wildly for something to serve as a mirror, and the
  1890. dream provided.
  1891.  
  1892. I tossed the shovel to the side and walked down to the back yard’s
  1893. driveway. The gravel had come loose here, and there was a large puddle of
  1894. water in the indent. It functioned perfectly as a mirror, and I bent down
  1895. to get a good look at my reflection.
  1896.  
  1897.         Jordan was right, my eyes did look weird. They were a vibrant
  1898. glowing turquoise, and had a narrow slit for a pupil. It was extremely
  1899. disconcerting, and somehow they brought up memories I couldn’t quite put
  1900. into context. They filled me with terror, that was key. Something very
  1901. very bad was happening to me.
  1902.  
  1903.         I took a step back from the pool of water, and turned around to
  1904. face Jordan. Instead I saw my father back on his feet. He had the shovel
  1905. from earlier and was winding it back with both hands. I didn’t even hear
  1906. the impact as it smashed into my face.
  1907.  
  1908.         Bad end, I guess.
  1909.  
  1910.         I tried to gasp out for breath when I woke up, but it had been too
  1911. abrupt. Already I could barely remember what had happened, and traces of
  1912. memory were ransacked by the creeping feeling of dread that came with
  1913. sleep paralysis. I needed to move! I needed to breathe! Both were denied
  1914. to me, and I started to whimper in my own mind as shadows in the room
  1915. crept and moved about. At least the terror was alleviated a bit by the
  1916. rays of sunlight sweeping into the room. If this were my night, my
  1917. punishment for swift departure from sleep would be quite a bit steeper.
  1918.  
  1919. Unable to move, unable to breathe, imprisoned in my own body... Just like
  1920. being imprisoned in the moon.
  1921.  
  1922.         Warmth filled me again, and I started to regain the feeling in my
  1923. legs. I kicked and thrashed to exercise my reclaimed freedom.
  1924.  
  1925. I sat up straight and shivered. I’ve never been in any moon. What was
  1926. wrong with me? I peeked down my pajamas and sighed with relief. My
  1927. cutiemark was black with a white moon. Black, not purple. Why was I so
  1928. relieved to see that?
  1929.  
  1930.         I made my way into the bathroom and cranked on the facet. I cupped
  1931. my hands under the stream and splashed my face with soothing warm water,
  1932. then took a good long look in the mirror. There was no sign of stubble or
  1933. shadow, none at all. The skin was pale, and I couldn’t help but notice
  1934. that my face looked a bit more feminine somehow. It seemed overnight I had
  1935. lost the need to shave, and also acquired some crazy eyelashes. My eyes
  1936. were still brown at least, so no changes there. I peeked down at my
  1937. cutiemark again and sighed.
  1938.  
  1939.         ‘It’s going to be time to get a legal name change soon, Eric. At
  1940. least you’ve always liked the name Luna. You could have ended up as her
  1941. sister, right?’
  1942.  
  1943.         My towels weren’t in the bathroom anymore, so I went back into
  1944. Robert’s room before drying off my face. My bag filled with clothing was
  1945. still laying on its side in the center of the room, so I picked it up and
  1946. spilled the contents out onto the floor. There was nothing in there but
  1947. clothes and a few grooming items: an electric razor, a bottle of skin
  1948. cleanser, and a bottle of toner.
  1949.  
  1950.         Look, the first step to maintaining health is prevention. If I was
  1951. going to age I was going to age gracefully damn it. My mom and dad were in
  1952. their 50s, and I’ve seen what waits for me otherwise.
  1953.  
  1954.         ‘You’re turning into an immortal princess of the night, remember?
  1955. Age is a thing of the past! Always look on the bright side of life!’
  1956.  
  1957.         I sorted through the clothing until I found a pair of jeans. Not
  1958. my favorite pair, but they were the first thing I spotted so I put them
  1959. on.
  1960.  
  1961.         Strangely, putting them on was a bit of a chore, but it wasn’t
  1962. like I had gained any weight. If anything I had lost a few pounds while on
  1963. the road. I struggled briefly getting them up and over my thighs, and when
  1964. they were on they didn’t fit right at all. They were too tight in some
  1965. places, and too loose in others. What was even weirder was that they were
  1966. too long. While walking around I would repeatedly catch my heel on the
  1967. bottom of the pant leg. The last time I had worn them they stopped at my
  1968. ankle.
  1969.  
  1970.         I slipped them off with a bit less effort and tried the next pair,
  1971. but experienced the same problem as before. I went through my entire pile
  1972. of clothing and experienced more of the same, for the most part. Some
  1973. investigation with the mirror helped me realize that not only did I have a
  1974. shiny new cutiemark, I now had prominent hips as well.
  1975.  
  1976.         A cutiemark belonging to some princess from a cartoon show had
  1977. been relatively easy to handle, back when it didn't include the
  1978. unfortunate side effect of turning into a girl too. I really need to
  1979. figure out my priorities here. Am I upset because I’m turning into Luna,
  1980. or am I upset because I’m switching teams?
  1981.  
  1982.         I tossed my pants back into the duffle bag and put my pajamas back
  1983. on. Glorious PJs, you are a source of hope for fat people and TF victims
  1984. the world over.
  1985.  
  1986. By the time I finished cleaning up after myself a loud bang came from the
  1987. doorway. Robert flung open the door to the bedroom with John hounding him
  1988. from behind. He dashed inside with a plate of eggs and a cup of orange
  1989. juice, then slammed the door in John’s face.
  1990.  
  1991.         “What are you two doing in there? What new conspiracy are you
  1992. hatching?!” John shouted through the door.
  1993.  
  1994.         “Keep at it, and I’m gonna show ya!” Robert called back. The
  1995. sounds at the door stopped.
  1996.  
  1997. Robert sighed and placed the plate and cup down in front of me. He then
  1998. marched over to the door and swung it open. John tumbled forward onto his
  1999. face, as his ear had been placed against the door.
  2000.  
  2001.         “Seriously, I want some privacy with Eric. We spend enough time
  2002. together.” John looked like he was a dog being abused. “We’ll hang out
  2003. later today, okay? Whatever you want to do.”
  2004.  
  2005.         John nodded meekly and trudged off for his own bedroom. Robert
  2006. closed the door gently before turning around to face me.
  2007.  
  2008.         “I thought you could use some breakfast. Figured you’d be up, or
  2009. that you’d better be, it’s nearly noon.”
  2010.  
  2011. I took a forkful of cold eggs and chewed them quietly. “Thanks.”
  2012.  
  2013.         
  2014.  
  2015.         “So... Anything new?” He asked covertly, though we both knew what
  2016. he meant.
  2017.  
  2018.         I gulped down the eggs and took a large swig of OJ. I hesitated
  2019. before deciding to tell him. “I haven’t shaved since the middle of the day
  2020. yesterday, and my pants don’t fit anymore.” I shifted uncomfortably. “They
  2021. don’t fit right.” I amended.
  2022.  
  2023.         Robert beamed like a saint on the day of his canonization. “My
  2024. last girlfriend left some of her clothes here, you can try on some of her
  2025. jeans!”
  2026.  
  2027.         “Not very funny.” I hungrily finished my eggs in between words.
  2028.  
  2029.         “I was being serious...” He fished out a pair from the closet and
  2030. tossed them on the ground beside me. “They’re nothing excessive or
  2031. anything. Any skater would love to snag a pair.”
  2032.  
  2033.         He was right, they were pretty tame as far as jeans go. There was
  2034. a bit more to my reluctance though. Wearing clothing tailored for a girl
  2035. would be giving in! It would be letting... whatever is happening, win!
  2036.  
  2037.         “Look, just try them on, if you don’t like them you don’t need to
  2038. wear them.”
  2039.  
  2040.         I grumbled, huffed, and made a show of being miserable, but in the
  2041. end I still picked up the pair of pants. Robert just kept staring at me,
  2042. and I looked up at him. “Do you mind?”
  2043.  
  2044.         “Not at all. Please continue.”
  2045.  
  2046.         I glared in reply. “Turn around. Or leave the room, I do not care
  2047. which.”
  2048.  
  2049.         Robert rolled his eyes and turned around to face the closet doors.
  2050. It took me a moment to realize they doubled as mirrors, and that making
  2051. him turn around changed nothing. I growled out angrily and pulled off my
  2052. pajamas before slipping into the jeans.
  2053.  
  2054.         As it turns out the jeans were a perfect fit. Robert turned around
  2055. and raised a brow after looking me over. “Uh... Yeah. You definitely
  2056. weren’t like that last night. By which I mean... this morning.”
  2057.  
  2058.         I pulled off the jeans in frustration and slipped back into my PJs
  2059. before collapsing backwards onto his bed. “I don’t know what’s going on!”
  2060.  
  2061.         Robert took a seat next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder,
  2062. and for once in my life I actually didn't mind being physically close to
  2063. someone. I curled up and pulled a bit closer in response.
  2064.  
  2065.         “I know what’s happening.” He smiled down at me.
  2066.  
  2067.         “Y-You do?”
  2068.  
  2069.         “Yes! You’re blossoming into a beautiful young woman! It took you
  2070. long enough.”
  2071.  
  2072.         Robert snickered as I yelled out angrily and rolled over to shove
  2073. him off the bed. “Joking! I’m joking! Don’t worry,  I’m sure there has to
  2074. be an explanation for this!”
  2075.  
  2076.         He pulled out the chair to his desk and took a seat before booting
  2077. up his PC. I was content to glower at him from the bed while he did his
  2078. thing. His desktop was nothing but a black screen, as evidently his copy
  2079. of windows was ‘not genuine’. Aside from that it was immaculate and clear
  2080. of icons.
  2081.  
  2082.         Occasionally he’d ask for any suggestions when it came to where to
  2083. look for other cases, and I’d bitterly call out some brony community that
  2084. I wish I didn’t know about. We went back and forth like this for an hour,
  2085. and didn’t find anything.
  2086.  
  2087.         “Fuck it!” Robert called out in frustration. “If someone needs to
  2088. be OP, it may as well be us!”
  2089.  
  2090.         He brought up Twitter and mused loudly. “I don’t really want to
  2091. use my twitter account for this, do you have one?”
  2092.  
  2093.         I scoffed at him. “Of course I do not have a Twitter account, I
  2094. thought you were my brother.”
  2095.  
  2096.         Robert repeated what I said in a mocking tone. “Of course I don’t
  2097. have a Twitter! My name’s Eric and I’m too high and mighty to use facebook
  2098. or other social networking sites!”
  2099.  
  2100.         I scrunched up my face at him as best I could. “Just make a new
  2101. account or something.”
  2102.  
  2103.         “Good idea!” He snickered. “Lets see, we will name it ‘mlp4evar’!”
  2104. He found this name hilarious. I found it retarded.
  2105.  
  2106.         “You’re never going to get any bites with a name like that!”
  2107.  
  2108.         “Just watch me.”
  2109.  
  2110.         He spent a few moments setting up the account, and then another
  2111. minute typing up the message, which read as follows:
  2112.  
  2113. Woke up with a Cutie Mark today!
  2114.  
  2115. I’m confused, but happy!
  2116.  
  2117. #mlp #bizarre
  2118.  
  2119.         “So what do you think?” He pulled away so I could see from the
  2120. bed.
  2121.  
  2122.         “I think it looks like a child wrote it.”
  2123.  
  2124.         “Perfect!” He grinned before clicking the submission button.
  2125.  
  2126.         I rolled my eyes and got up off the bed. “So what do we do now?”
  2127.  
  2128.         Robert shrugged and got out of his chair. “Relax? It’s your
  2129. birthday. That’s what you do on your birthday. Arcane symbols plastered to
  2130. your rear be damned.” He moved over to the door to open it, but didn’t
  2131. wait for me to leave first this time.
  2132.  
  2133.         As it happened, by the time we finished screwing around in his
  2134. room it was just after noon. Mom had gone to work hours ago, and John was
  2135. busy sulking in his room. Robert got to work cleaning up the kitchen, and
  2136. I timidly followed behind him.
  2137.  
  2138.         “You can use my room until we figure all of this out.” He said
  2139. while tossing the dishes into the dishwasher haphazardly.
  2140.  
  2141.         “Really?” I froze in my tracks. No one in my family had ever
  2142. really given me anything, or really gone out of their way to take care of
  2143. me really. I couldn’t help but think about the letter that I had received
  2144. with the necklace I was currently wearing. My hand instinctively reached
  2145. up for the pendant to hold on to, and I was flooded with that by now
  2146. familiar warm feeling. “Thanks... That actually means a lot to us... me!
  2147. It means a lot to me!”
  2148.  
  2149.         Robert laughed and shook his head before wiping his hands off on a
  2150. dish towel. “Don’t mention it. Sleeping on the couch for awhile isn’t
  2151. going to kill me.” He walked over to the fridge and removed his keys from
  2152. a magnet. “Unfortunately, I have class today. So you’re going to have to
  2153. spend your birthday with John.”
  2154.  
  2155.         I grimaced, but nodded my understanding. “I am sure I will be
  2156. fine. Thanks for everything, again.”
  2157.  
  2158.         He smiled from the doorway and gave a little mock bow, then spun
  2159. on his heel and marched out the door.
  2160.  
  2161.         I was alone.
  2162.  
  2163.         In my absence the family had acquired one of those huge
  2164. wall-mounted HD Television sets. Channel surfing didn’t reveal anything of
  2165. real interest, so I switched it to Chiller and pulled out my laptop. As
  2166. always, Skype was open as soon as I unlocked my user account.
  2167.  
  2168.         The first thing I noticed was somewhere in the ballpark of 87
  2169. missed messages from Josh. This was unsettling, because even he is not
  2170. normally that energetic. I skimmed through most of them and went to the
  2171. bottom. It was mostly just him randomly asking if I was invisible or
  2172. something with varying degrees of urgency. Since he was still online I
  2173. decided to figure out what was so important.
  2174.  
  2175.         Wintermute: How can I help you?
  2176.  
  2177.         Nightwatch: Guess what?
  2178.  
  2179.         Nightwatch stands at attention, eagerly awaiting your guess!
  2180.  
  2181.         Wintermute: Uh...
  2182.  
  2183.         Wintermute: You woke up with somepony’s cutie mark, you don’t need
  2184. to shave anymore, and your pants no longer fit properly?
  2185.  
  2186.         Nightwatch: =O
  2187.  
  2188.         Nightwatch: You’re right!
  2189.  
  2190.         Nightwatch: Well, half right. My hair is also turning dark blue,
  2191. and my eyes are fuschia.
  2192.  
  2193.         Nightwatch: Also, they look kinda weird, like a cat’s!
  2194.  
  2195.         Nightwatch: Or...
  2196.  
  2197.         Wintermute: Or that OC you stole, you mean?
  2198.  
  2199.         Nightwatch: I didn’t steal it! I just think she looks cool is all.
  2200.  
  2201.         Nightwatch: Anyway, how did you know? I can’t find anything about
  2202. it on the internet.
  2203.  
  2204.         Nightwatch: . . . Who’s cutie mark did you wake up with?
  2205.  
  2206.         Wintermute: …
  2207.  
  2208.         Nightwatch: Well?
  2209.  
  2210.         Wintermute: Luna’s. My hair and eyes are still perfectly normal,
  2211. though.
  2212.  
  2213.         Nightwatch: I knew it! I knew there was a reason for everything!
  2214.  
  2215.         Nightwatch: Now I know why I got all of those feeling about you
  2216. when you were staying with me!
  2217.  
  2218. Nightwatch: It all makes sense! You really ‘are’ a princess! And I’m one
  2219. of your royal guards! This is so exciting! Aren’t you excited?
  2220.  
  2221.         Wintermute: Hold on.
  2222.  
  2223.         Wintermute: I am not Princess Luna, and you are not some random
  2224. Nightguard.
  2225.  
  2226.         Nightwatch: That sure doesn’t seem to be the case!
  2227.  
  2228.         Nightwatch: Don’t you remember Season 5? The finale?
  2229.  
  2230.         Wintermute: I try not to. It sucks.
  2231.  
  2232.         Nightwatch: Discord sent everypony to Earth! It all makes sense! I
  2233. even had a dream!
  2234.  
  2235.         Nightwatch: For Five Score, Divided by Four! That’s 25! And we
  2236. both just turned 25!
  2237.  
  2238.         
  2239.  
  2240.         A bit of what Josh was telling me was starting to take root. It
  2241. ‘does’ make a certain kind of sense. Something about all of this is
  2242. reminding me of the bus ride to San Diego, and my mind wanders to the
  2243. fake phone number in the pocket of my jeans.
  2244.  
  2245.         Wintermute: Lets say I believe you. I’m still Eric. Maybe I ‘like’
  2246. being Eric. I don’t want to be Princess Luna, and I don’t plan on being
  2247. her even if my body changes to look like hers!
  2248.  
  2249.         Nightwatch: Oh don’t be ridiculous. You don’t like being Eric.
  2250. That’s why you ran across the country.
  2251.  
  2252.         Nightwatch: And you never stopped being her. You just forgot you
  2253. were her.
  2254.  
  2255.         Nightwatch: Heck, I bet if you look back on your childhood in this
  2256. context, it all starts to make a lot more sense! Mine certainly does, and
  2257. there isn’t even a canon personality for Nightwatch!
  2258.  
  2259.         I squirmed uncomfortably on the couch and ran a hand through my
  2260. hair. I briefly considered how long I had before it was a swaying mass of
  2261. magic, but was interrupted by a knock at the door, and the soft sound of
  2262. something being dropped at my doorstep.
  2263.  
  2264.         Wintermute: I just got a package. I’ll be back in a bit.
  2265.  
  2266.         Nightwatch raises her hoof proudly in a salute.
  2267.  
  2268.         Nightwatch: talk to you in a bit Princess!
  2269.  
  2270.         
  2271.  
  2272.         I issued an exasperated sigh and walked over to the door, opening
  2273. it with all the weary anxiety of someone who is apparently a long lost
  2274. princess of a magical land far away. There is no one there, just a small
  2275. brown box. It’s postmarked from last week and is addressed to me, so I
  2276. pick it up and take it inside.
  2277.  
  2278.         I flipped the box around a bit and found a return address:
  2279.  
  2280. James Concord
  2281.  
  2282. 16132 Everfree Ln
  2283.  
  2284. Los Angeles, CA XXXXX
  2285.  
  2286.         Well isn’t that just a sterling endorsement? I tossed it to the
  2287. couch across from me and stared at it like the possible explosive that it
  2288. was. Eventually my curiosity won out, and I crossed the distance. I took
  2289. the box in both hands and tore it open with alarming speed. Something soft
  2290. tumbled out onto the couch, followed by a piece of paper that drifted
  2291. lazily to the cushion beside it.
  2292.  
  2293.         It was a Nightmare Moon plushie. A really good one, too. A jolt of
  2294. cold ran through my veins and I turn to my laptop.
  2295.  
  2296.         Wintermute: Look I need to go, right now.
  2297.  
  2298.         Nightwatch: Are you okay?!
  2299.  
  2300.         Nightwatch: Please tell me you’re okay, I’d never forgive myself
  2301. for letting you leave!
  2302.  
  2303.         I don’t stick around to read what he or she is saying. I close the
  2304. lid to my laptop, grab the Nightmare Moon plushie, and squeeze them
  2305. together under one arm. I only just remember the note that tumbled out as
  2306. well, and storm back into Robert’s room.
  2307.  
  2308.         I snatched up the plush from under my arm and flung it at the bed
  2309. across the room from me, then set my laptop down on the desk beside
  2310. Robert’s keyboard. With the note clenched firmly in my left hand I slid
  2311. down onto all fours and then fell back onto the floor. I stared at it for
  2312. a few minutes, breathing loudly and trying to get my heart rate under
  2313. control, then I finally begin to unfold it.
  2314.  
  2315. Dearest Luna,
  2316.  
  2317. Birthdays are a wonderful time to reflect on the past, and prepare for the
  2318. future, don’t you think?
  2319.  
  2320. XOXO
  2321.  
  2322. Discord
  2323.  
  2324.         Tears began to stream down my face, and I held a hand up to my
  2325. mouth to stifle any sobs. Why is such a short stupid letter affecting me
  2326. like this? I am not Luna!
  2327.  
  2328.         I crumpled up the note and threw it away from me.
  2329.  
  2330.         “I am not Luna...”
  2331.  
  2332.         The tears continued to well up in rebellion. I curled up against
  2333. the desk, fighting to reclaim my composure. Eventually I gave up and
  2334. pulled myself over to the the bed. After burrowing under the sheets I
  2335. reached out for the Nightmare Moon plushie. It made me feel terrible just
  2336. to look at it, it’s a reminder of what is happening to me. It’s reminding
  2337. me of a past I just don’t want. How could anyone want it? And yet, it’s
  2338. comforting. It’s very soft, and oddly cool to the touch, It reminds me of
  2339. the moon.
  2340.  
  2341.         Just like the moon.
  2342.  
  2343.         My body is wracked with sobs and I clutch the little toy tighter.
  2344. I can’t stop thinking about what that little girl said, what Sarah said to
  2345. me.
  2346.  
  2347.         “Your sister hasn’t given up on you! So you can’t give up on her!”
  2348.  
  2349.         With those words in mind, I drift into a thankfully dreamless
  2350. sleep.
  2351.  
  2352.         I woke up a couple of hours later and frantically checked my hair
  2353. in the mirror. It still looked the same, but I guess it could be a little
  2354. longer? I shrugged and decided to count my blessings. Eyes still look
  2355. normal as well, as added bonus.
  2356.  
  2357. I still have the Nightmare Moon plush squeezed in under one arm. It really
  2358. is a neat little thing. From anyone else it would be a thoughtful birthday
  2359. gift. I always admired how Nightmare Moon looked. She was way more
  2360. beautiful than Princess Luna, especially the way Luna looked in season
  2361. one. That was just...
  2362.  
  2363.         ‘Pathetic.’ was the first word that sprang to mind. Nightmare Moon
  2364. was definitely cooler, not to mention more mature, and adult. I shook my
  2365. head vigorously and cleared my thoughts.
  2366.  
  2367.         What the hell is wrong with me? Nightmare Moon is a villain, and
  2368. that helmet looked retarded! Besides, I matured just fine on my own by
  2369. season two.
  2370.  
  2371.         'Really? Thinking of ourselves as Luna now?' I lowered my head
  2372. sadly and placed the plush on top of the pillow.
  2373.  
  2374.         Well, I left Josh pretty abruptly, so maybe I should inform him of
  2375. my well-being. No reason why I can’t do that from Robert’s computer. I
  2376. took a seat in the chair and got to work.
  2377.  
  2378.         Wintermute: Hey.
  2379.  
  2380.         Wintermute: I just wanted to say everything is fine. I got a
  2381. Nightmare Moon plushie in the mail and decided to go think about stuff.
  2382.  
  2383.         Nightwatch: How disgustingly thoughtless!
  2384.  
  2385.         Nightwatch: Does it have a return address? Are you alright?
  2386.  
  2387. Wintermute: I am fine. No, there does not appear to be a return address.
  2388.  
  2389.   Wintermute: In any case it is remarkably well made, and I am pleased
  2390. with it.
  2391.  
  2392. Nightwatch: Really?
  2393.  
  2394. Nightwatch: You’re pleased with it?
  2395.  
  2396. Nightwatch: But you’re... you know. Luna.
  2397.  
  2398. Wintermute: Yes, well. I remain unconvinced.
  2399.  
  2400. Wintermute: NotALuna.
  2401.  
  2402.         For once, Nightwatch... I mean Josh, seemed at a loss for words. I
  2403. took the opportunity to browse the web for awhile,  and noticed the page
  2404. was still open to Robert’s fake twitter account. It already had a reply.
  2405.  
  2406. FionaS
  2407.  
  2408. Hi!
  2409.  
  2410. If it’s not too much trouble... Would you be willing to elaborate?
  2411.  
  2412. #cutiemark #mlp
  2413.  
  2414.         My face flushed red with embarrassment and I snatched up Robert’s
  2415. keyboard. I typed out furiously and perhaps with more shame than was
  2416. necessary.
  2417.  
  2418. mlp4eva
  2419.  
  2420. Sorry! Just a prank intended for a friend! Really Sorry!
  2421.  
  2422.         
  2423.  
  2424. I felt pretty guilty lying like that, but I was feeling very paranoid all
  2425. of a sudden. And despite all the blushing, unusually cold. What if she
  2426. needed help? What if she was like me, or Josh?
  2427.  
  2428.         It didn’t matter, right now what mattered was finding answers for
  2429. myself. I did a routine search on all of the websites we checked earlier,
  2430. but didn’t find anything of note. If other people were speaking out I was
  2431. too incompetent to find them. I sighed and shoved the keyboard away.
  2432. Twirling about in the chair managed to amuse me for awhile, but after a
  2433. time I grew bored, and noticed that I was actually quite exhausted, in
  2434. spite of the nap I just had.
  2435.  
  2436.         It was the middle of the day, why the hell would I be exhausted?
  2437. Oh, right. Because I am Princess Luna, apparently.
  2438.  
  2439.         I fought pretty hard to maintain my diurnal freedom. I browsed the
  2440. web for silly things, I tried to kick back and watch a movie, but nothing
  2441. was nearly as appealing as getting some more sleep. With a bitter yawn of
  2442. defeat I crawled back into bed, hugged my Nightmare Moon plush close, and
  2443. curled up on my belly. I didn’t even need to put a sheet up over the
  2444. window like usual. The strong presence of daylight had an almost soporific
  2445. effect that soothed and lulled me to sleep the way pitch darkness used to
  2446. back when I was...
  2447.  
  2448.         What? When I was human? I’ve still got my fingers and toes. I
  2449. haven’t given up my humanity just yet.
  2450.  
  2451.         Robert was right though. Birthdays are for relaxing, and that’s
  2452. just what I was going to try and do now.
  2453.  
  2454.         It was hot down here. It was hot and smelled incredibly
  2455. unpleasant. I looked around to get a better understanding of myself and my
  2456. setting, but it was hard to make a guess. I was standing in a pretty
  2457. non-descript rock tunnel. It was well lit, despite the lack of a light
  2458. source, but dreams did not always have to make linear sense. Intuitive,
  2459. not Sensing again. The area was bright because it was a place that
  2460. wanted you to see. In these subterranean confines, that did a lot to
  2461. unnerve me.
  2462.  
  2463. I walked forward on two conspicuously human feet, and I wasn’t sure if I
  2464. was happy or sad over it. I still had my Nightmare Moon plush with me, and
  2465. that seemed perfectly reasonable.
  2466.  
  2467. I don't really experience them very often, but occasionally I'll have a
  2468. dream where I somehow know the meaning to life, the universe, and
  2469. everything. I don't usually remember much when I wake up, I just get the
  2470. feeling I lost my grip on years of information. This was shaping up to be
  2471. one of those dreams, and I was already starting to feel drunk and not
  2472. myself.
  2473.  
  2474. Although the place was well lit, and wanted me to see things, they were
  2475. not without their own shadows, and I made use of them whenever necessary.
  2476. I guess down here the monsters didn't need to hide in the darkness. A word
  2477. for the place tickled at the back of my mind, and I dove deeper and deeper
  2478. into those passages. After all, it was merely a dream, and I am not afraid
  2479. of dreams.
  2480.  
  2481. I am in my element as it were.
  2482.  
  2483.         I finally came to a large antechamber in the bowels of the system,
  2484. and what I saw in the center shocked me.
  2485.  
  2486.         “Sister!” I cried out, but it was Luna’s voice, not mine, that I
  2487. heard.
  2488.  
  2489.         The regal white form was wreathed in black iron chains that dug
  2490. into her coat and left faint burns and blisters everywhere. It looked like
  2491. she hadn’t moved for years, but she stirred when she heard my voice.
  2492.  
  2493.         “Luna?!” Her own cry responded to mine, filled with hope. She
  2494. turned her head as much as she could and I gazed into her large pink eyes.
  2495.  
  2496. I could see my reflection in them. I was still human, still Eric. Only my
  2497. eyes and frame were different. Celestia looked noticeably crestfallen when
  2498. she saw me, and much of her hopefulness evaporated.
  2499.  
  2500.         “What happened to you Luna?” Tears started to well up in her eyes,
  2501. before streaming down her face and splashing to the ground. The hungry
  2502. nature of the place drank them greedily, and seemed to glow brighter for
  2503. it.
  2504.  
  2505.         I placed a hand on her side and she winced, like she was afraid of
  2506. me. I couldn’t help but notice how her eyes lingered on my little
  2507. Nightmare doll. I pulled my hand away sadly.
  2508.  
  2509.         I paused for a moment, trying to think of how I should reply.
  2510. “Discord happened to me. To us.” I looked at the ground to hide my immense
  2511. guilt. “He did the same to Twilight Sparkle. He caught me before I was
  2512. even finished waking up.”
  2513.  
  2514.         We were both quiet for awhile, though I think Celestia’s silence
  2515. was due to her state. It looked painful to even breathe with all those
  2516. chains wrapped around her.
  2517.  
  2518.         “We’re in Tartarus, aren’t we?”
  2519.  
  2520.         “Yes,” Celestia croaked weakly. “Discord happened to me too.”
  2521.  
  2522.         “Yes, I saw the episode.” I muttered, falling to my knees beside
  2523. her.
  2524.  
  2525.         “What?”
  2526.  
  2527.         “... I will explain some other time. You must be dreaming, I can
  2528. help you get out of here.”
  2529.  
  2530.         My sister’s tears finally stopped and she shook her head,
  2531. grimacing with the effort. “You cannot help me.”
  2532.  
  2533.         “Of course I can! We are dreaming, I am unstoppable here!”
  2534.  
  2535.         “Luna! You cannot help me. You cannot even help yourself...”
  2536. Celestia coughed weakly. “You are not yourself right now. Not in body, not
  2537. in mind, and certainly not in spirit.”
  2538.  
  2539.         “So what am I supposed to do then? Just leave you here? I will
  2540. not!”
  2541.  
  2542.         “Luna, even if you stole me away with you, my body is still here.
  2543. There is nothing you can do about that.” She paused before continuing.
  2544. “You must find Twilight and the rest of the elements, they are the only
  2545. way you can stop Discord!”
  2546.  
  2547.         That cold feeling welled up inside of me, and I stomped my foot
  2548. against the stone with a loud crack. “How am I supposed to do that? Why am
  2549. I supposed to do that? Why isn’t my help ever good enough?!”
  2550.  
  2551.         Celestia flinched at my outburst, and I was not sorry.
  2552.  
  2553.         “Ever since my exile ended, you have done nothing but shut me
  2554. away! Whenever our kingdom was in any real danger, you made sure I was
  2555. away! Why?! Tell me!”
  2556.  
  2557.         “Luna... I just worry for you, maybe you could handle things on
  2558. your own, maybe we both could, but the elements are so much safer. They’re
  2559. so much easier and certain!”
  2560.  
  2561.         ‘She thinks you’re unreliable. She doesn’t trust you.’
  2562.  
  2563.         ‘Birthdays are a good time to reflect on the past, and prepare for
  2564. the future, don’t you think?’
  2565.  
  2566.         It hurt, a lot. It felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest
  2567. with an icicle, and I cried out, dropping the little doll to the floor,
  2568. and It vanished in a whirl of black smoke.
  2569.  
  2570. I struggled to catch my breath, and Celestia looked on with concern.
  2571.  
  2572.         “...Luna?” She struggled in her chains. “Please tell me you’re
  2573. okay...”
  2574.  
  2575.         “I’m fine.” I whispered, then reached out to hug her. “I haven’t
  2576. given up on you, so you can’t give up on me. Alright?”
  2577.  
  2578.         Much of my sister’s tension seemed to melt away in my arms, and I
  2579. began to really regret being human. It was a good thing we were dreaming,
  2580. because of that, humanity was not strictly necessary.
  2581.  
  2582. A transformation sequence wasn't even necessary, I just was. I folded my
  2583. hooves under me and nuzzled her. “I am not helpless... You, Princess
  2584. Cadance, myself, we may not be bearers of harmony like Twilight Sparkle
  2585. and her friends, but we are still alicorns.” I shielded her with a wing.
  2586. “We can still make a difference on our own. Are we not products of harmony
  2587. ourselves?”
  2588.  
  2589.         Celestia weighed her thoughts carefully, that much will never
  2590. change about her. “Yes... Yes, I’m sorry, you’re right Luna.” She wheezed
  2591. softly through her labored speech. “Just do your very best, and I’m sure
  2592. you’ll find our way out of this mess.”
  2593.  
  2594.         I nodded, and felt the not so gentle inertia of the dream pulling
  2595. me away. “I need to go soon, Sister.”
  2596.  
  2597.         “Luna! I just... I wanted to say, you were right about him. You
  2598. were right about Discord.”
  2599.  
  2600.         “It’s not your fault, you were just being yourself.” I smiled down
  2601. at her. Me, the younger sister, smiling down at her. “You try to bring out
  2602. the best in others, it’s just what you are. We’ll get through this too.” I
  2603. laugh gently, and am delighted by the sound’s bell-like quality. “Hope and
  2604. love, right?”
  2605.  
  2606.         My sister smiled at me in return. “Hope and Love.”
  2607.  
  2608.         The tugging is becoming more insistent, and I rise to my hooves to
  2609. follow it.
  2610.  
  2611.         The sun is starting to set when I wake up, and for once I remember
  2612. one of my dreams, very vividly. I don’t know if it’s because I am that
  2613. much Luna or...
  2614.  
  2615.         No... Josh was right, wasn’t he? I was always Luna. Celestia was
  2616. always my...
  2617.  
  2618.         Well, that explained my relationship with the show, and at least
  2619. I’m not afraid anymore. I know where my home is now, I know who my family
  2620. is, and I know why I’m not there. It was taken from me, and I need to work
  2621. on taking it back.
  2622.  
  2623.         I sat up in bed and stretched. My bones and tendons cracked and
  2624. groaned in all sorts of fun new ways. There is no way this is going to
  2625. stop at a cutie mark and the need for new clothes, and I for one am ready
  2626. for it. At least... I think I am?
  2627.  
  2628. Certainly I am more ready for it than when I was just Eric.
  2629.  
  2630.         I climbed out of bed and stumbled over to the door. Walking on two
  2631. legs all of a sudden isn’t so easy, but I remember myself quickly.
  2632. Switching gears, that’s the hard part. I just had to remind myself that I
  2633. still have two legs.
  2634.  
  2635. The house was quiet, and when I reached the kitchen I discover why. My
  2636. mom, Robert, and John were seated at the table around a small store-bought
  2637. cake.
  2638.  
  2639. I reached up to scratch my head and yawn. My hair is definitely longer
  2640. now, but no one seems to notice, except maybe Robert, but he has an
  2641. excellent poker face.
  2642.  
  2643.         “We were wondering when you’d get up.” My mom commented with naked
  2644. irritation.
  2645.  
  2646.         “Happy Birthday!” John and Robert both called out, John’s
  2647. enthusiasm didn’t exactly feel sincere, but Robert’s picked up the slack.
  2648.  
  2649.         We took a bit to light the candles, and Mom insisted we sing the
  2650. most awkward performance of Happy Birthday in the history of the human
  2651. race. I stared at the little 25 on top of my cake and huffed to myself.
  2652.  
  2653.         ‘Quite a bit older than 25, actually.’
  2654.  
  2655.         I blew out the candles and made perhaps the most realistic wish of
  2656. any of my birthdays. I wished for all of my memories of home back, because
  2657. already that dream was starting to feel pretty fuzzy, and I am not so sure
  2658. how much like Luna I feel anymore. That really didn't take long at all.
  2659.  
  2660.         Memories have a scary power, when you really dwell on it.
  2661.  
  2662.         Everyone cheered softly, and Robert slugged me on the shoulder,
  2663. though not very hard. I flinched in anticipation of another 24 hits from
  2664. him, but they never come, and we start dividing up the tiny cake.
  2665. Predictably, after we each get a slice we start going our separate ways.
  2666. Mom heads for her room like she always does after work, and John retreats
  2667. back to his room. I managed to take a few bites of my cake before Robert
  2668. pulled me aside and spoke with a serious tone that was rather unlike him.
  2669.  
  2670.         “You should go have a talk with Mom.”
  2671.  
  2672.         “About the Luna thing?”
  2673.  
  2674.         “About everything,” he paused. “I don’t think she even recognizes
  2675. you as her kid anymore.”
  2676.  
  2677.         “That’s not exactly my fault you know?” I look down in an effort
  2678. to hide my guilt, because honestly she does not really feel like my mother
  2679. anymore.
  2680.  
  2681.         “It’s not exactly anyone’s fault, just go to her.”
  2682.  
  2683.         “How do we even know she is my mother? It seems pretty likely that
  2684. I’m actually Luna here.”
  2685.  
  2686.         Robert licked his lips and stared at me, his eyes narrowing.
  2687. “Unless your existence as a magical horse in some kind of past life
  2688. retcons her squeezing you out of a very small hole, and then basically
  2689. sacrificing her own life goals for you, she’s still your mother. I don’t
  2690. care if you’re the Dunwich Horror.” He guided me with a hand against the
  2691. small of my back and then gave a soft push. “Now go.”
  2692.  
  2693.         I conceded to his logic and marched my happy little self into my
  2694. Mom’s room, and she seemed pretty surprised to see me, because she jumped.
  2695.  
  2696.         “Oh... Um, happy birthday?”
  2697.  
  2698.         I nod in solemn appreciation. “Thank you.”
  2699.  
  2700. I stood in the doorway for a while, and we both picked at our cake in
  2701. silence.
  2702.  
  2703.         “So um...” I stammered. “How is work going?”
  2704.  
  2705.         “Work is fine,” she nodded slowly. “I got a few more cases, so I’m
  2706. taking care of five people a week now.”
  2707.  
  2708.         I nodded in understanding. “Right, because you’re a CNA...” I took
  2709. another forkful of cake, followed by another, until it is finally
  2710. finished. I placed the empty plate on the dresser by the door and walked
  2711. over, taking a seat on the bed beside her. “I uh... I missed you?”
  2712.  
  2713.         She stared at me for a moment, then scowled. “No you didn’t.”
  2714.  
  2715.         “I didn’t?” I tilt my head in response.
  2716.  
  2717.         “You were gone for seven months, and at no point during that time
  2718. did you call me, not until you needed to come back.” She drank from a
  2719. glass of wine. “You called because you were out of options.” She looked me
  2720. in the eyes. “You didn’t.”
  2721.  
  2722.         “I'm... sorry.” I looked away in sadness, and tried not to think
  2723. about how I let a family member down again. “I am not very good at family
  2724. stuff.”
  2725.  
  2726.         “Well, we've noticed.” She said, taking another gulp of wine. She
  2727. reached out with a hand and seized my chin, pulling my face until I’m
  2728. looking her in the eye again, but without enough force to hurt. “You don’t
  2729. even look the same anymore. Not like my son at all...” She shook her head.
  2730. “Pretty eyes though, wish my eyes were like that.” She looked me over
  2731. carefully, and stopped at my hair. “I’m not sure how I feel about the
  2732. streaks though. It makes you look kinda gay.”
  2733.  
  2734.         I considered telling her everything right then, and opened my
  2735. mouth to speak.
  2736.  
  2737.         But I didn’t say anything, she was halfway through this bottle of
  2738. wine, and it was a big one. It just didn’t seem prudent.
  2739.  
  2740.         I got off the bed and walked over to pick up my plate. She didn’t
  2741. say anything further, and neither did I.
  2742.  
  2743. Before visiting the kitchen I made a stop at the bathroom to get a good
  2744. look at myself.
  2745.  
  2746.         I had gotten a haircut before leaving Wisconsin three days ago,
  2747. and when I had arrived in San Diego it was still very short, but that had
  2748. changed over the course of the day. My ears were hidden behind long
  2749. strands of black hair, with streaks of light blue. I guess no magic mane
  2750. for me, at least not yet. Strictly season one hair for me.
  2751.  
  2752.         My eyes weren’t brown anymore, either. They must have changed
  2753. while I slept, or just when I hadn’t been paying attention. They were a
  2754. bright turquoise,  and like my cutie mark they had a faint glow to them.
  2755.  
  2756.         Robert must have been getting something from his room, because he
  2757. wasn’t in the kitchen when I arrived. I loaded the dishwasher carefully,
  2758. and began sorting the various dishes more neatly than the way Robert had
  2759. left them throughout the day.
  2760.  
  2761.         I had to agree with my mom. Those eyes...  my eyes, were very
  2762. pretty.
  2763.  
  2764. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  2765.  
  2766. Under Lock and Key
  2767.  
  2768.         Robert entered the kitchen before I could even finish. He had his
  2769. wallet out in front of him and was scrutinizing its contents carefully. He
  2770. gave a satisfied nod and slipped it back into his pocket before looking up
  2771. at me.
  2772.  
  2773.         “You and Mom are never satisfied with how I fill the
  2774. dishwasher...” He grumbled.
  2775.  
  2776.         “Well that’s because it’s wrong.” I finished washing one of our
  2777. nicer knives and began drying it with a towel.
  2778.  
  2779.         That’s odd, by all accounts I had been getting gradually smaller.
  2780. I’ve maybe lost an inch or two by now, and yet I’m looking down at
  2781. Robert’s eyes.
  2782.  
  2783.         “Uh... Eric, what are you doing?” Robert looked down and tilted
  2784. his head. “Look, practice is good and all, but you don’t have hooves yet.”
  2785.  
  2786.         “I don’t know what you’re talkin-” I shook my head and looked
  2787. down. “About...”
  2788.  
  2789.         I had been standing on the tips of my toes for some time now, and
  2790. hadn’t even been aware of it. Simple mistake, anypony could make it. I’ll
  2791. just lay my feet flat.
  2792.  
  2793.         I swung my arms around and Robert had to step out of the
  2794. trajectory of the knife I had just lost my grip on. I tried to regain my
  2795. balance but that just pitched me forward, which sent me right into Robert.
  2796. It's a good thing he caught me and the impact was minimized. Apparently
  2797. standing with my feet flat would require coordination, a degree of balance
  2798. that previously would have been necessary to stand as I was now.
  2799.  
  2800.         Robert looked down at me, and for the first time since all of this
  2801. started he looked actually afraid. The time for joking was over I guess. I
  2802. grimaced and shoved myself out of his arms.
  2803.  
  2804.         “I’m okay, everything is fine.” I tried to right my feet again but
  2805. gave up as soon as I started to lose my balance.
  2806.  
  2807.         ‘Damn it.’
  2808.  
  2809.         “Eric, can we speak in my room?” Robert mouthed the word now.
  2810.  
  2811.         I looked around to see if we were the only ones present, we were.
  2812. I shrugged, but dutifully followed.
  2813.  
  2814.         When we got to his room Robert shut the door behind him. I trotted
  2815. over to the bed before taking a seat. Robert made way to his computer
  2816. chair and then spun around to face me.
  2817.  
  2818.         “Eric, I’m a little concerned.”
  2819.  
  2820.         
  2821.  
  2822. “Oh?” I raised a brow at him. “You are only just now getting there? It’d
  2823. be nice if we could ever be on the same page. I’m freaked out and you
  2824. think it’s a joke. I’m okay with it and you start freaking out.” I rolled
  2825. my eyes. “So what has you worried all of a sudden?”
  2826.  
  2827.         Robert’s eyes went wide and he started to lean back, and away from
  2828. me. “Wait... You’re okay with this?” His voice started to carry, and I
  2829. glared at him. He lowered his voice to a hiss. “I just got done talking to
  2830. Josh. He’s convinced he’s some pony named Nightwatch now. He’s convinced
  2831. you are actually Luna...”
  2832.  
  2833.         “So what if I am?” I leaned back to prop myself up against the
  2834. wall. “I do have her cutiemark, don’t I? Why else would I have it?”
  2835.  
  2836.         “Yeah, well. Now Nightwatch has a tail.” Robert rubbed the bridge
  2837. of his nose and looked at the ground. “She also has horse ears now.”
  2838.  
  2839.         “Pony ears.” I corrected. “And what of it? Did you for some reason
  2840. think I was turning into some kind of humanized Luna?”
  2841.  
  2842.         “Why shouldn’t I have thought that? Until your feet started acting
  2843. up, that is exactly what it looked like...” He looked me dead center in
  2844. the eye. “You don’t have a problem with the idea of turning into an
  2845. animal? Because I guarantee you, the world will have a problem with that.”
  2846.  
  2847.         I crossed my arms defensively and huffed. “Humans are animals as
  2848. well.”
  2849.  
  2850.         He remained silent after that, and stared at me with disbelief.
  2851. Finally, when it became evident that I had nothing more to say, he spoke
  2852. up. “I told my friend Ed, he’s way into the occult.” He pointed at me with
  2853. his index finger. “We’re going to find a way to fix you.”
  2854.  
  2855.         “I don’t want to be fixed...” I pulled away from him, and closer
  2856. to the wall.
  2857.  
  2858.         Robert got out of the chair and pulled himself up onto the bed
  2859. until we were facing each other. He reached out to hug me, and I didn’t
  2860. have the heart to stop him.
  2861.  
  2862.         “Eric, if this happens... You won’t be able to stay here anymore.
  2863. There’s no way we can keep a... a pony here.”
  2864.  
  2865.         “I wasn’t planning on staying here.” I replied matter of factly.
  2866. “I was planning on going home and saving Celestia.”
  2867.  
  2868.         My exasperated brother released me from his embrace and collapsed
  2869. on the bed. “Oh god... Eric? How far gone are you?”
  2870.  
  2871.         I sniffed and lifted my head with pride. “How far gone am I? You
  2872. are lucky I respond to that name anymore.”
  2873.  
  2874.         “Just... please humor me on this? Please? I don’t want to lose my
  2875. brother...”
  2876.  
  2877.         A surge of warmth radiated from my pendant, and my cutiemark. I
  2878. found myself nodding before I had even consciously considered it.
  2879. “...Okay.” I whispered. I could tell from the way Robert’s body went slack
  2880. as the tension left him that he was relieved. “So what happens now?”
  2881.  
  2882.         “Now we go to the beach! If we can’t fix you, I at least want your
  2883. last human memories to be of somewhere fun!”
  2884.  
  2885.         I tilted my head. “But it’s the middle of the night. Doesn’t that
  2886. sort of defeat the purpose of going to the beach?”
  2887.  
  2888.         “You don’t think it’s worth going to the beach, because it’s
  2889. nighttime? That doesn’t sound very Lunaish, you know.”
  2890.  
  2891.         I laughed at that. “Yeah, I dunno it’s just...” I felt a very
  2892. strange pang of longing, a kind of homesickness that used to haunt me in
  2893. the past as a kid, but never like this. “I think the night sky here is
  2894. just going to make me miss the sky back home even more. If that makes
  2895. sense...”
  2896.  
  2897.         Robert’s smile faltered and I could tell that he was as upset and
  2898. confused as I was, but he pressed on anyway. “Well, the cool ocean breeze
  2899. will do us some good. It’s not healthy to be cooped up in this dusty town
  2900. all the time.”
  2901.  
  2902.         “Yeah, I won’t argue with you there!” I smiled and hopped up off
  2903. of the bed. “So uh... Just let me get changed first, I guess.”
  2904.  
  2905.         “Sure thing.” Robert smiled in return and left the room. It seemed
  2906. to me that he was just happy to get his way in this.
  2907.  
  2908.         The door closed with a soft click, and I got off the bed to
  2909. rummage through my bag of clothes. It was sorta hard to imagine ever not
  2910. needing them, but when I thought about it, I really wasn’t going to need
  2911. them much longer. I wasn’t sure if I should feel liberated or horrified
  2912. about that.
  2913.  
  2914. I decided if we were going to the beach I might get a little wet, even at
  2915. this hour. So I decided on a pair of dark blue cargo shorts that had
  2916. always been too big for me, but by now were massive. I grabbed a belt to
  2917. hold them up, and a black t-shirt to complete the outfit.
  2918.  
  2919. I stripped down before going to the mirror to inspect myself. It was
  2920. incredibly awkward to even consider that a thing worth doing, but then
  2921. again I had spent the entire day wrapped up in either clothes or blankets,
  2922. or both. I kinda wanted to see if anything important had changed.
  2923.  
  2924.         My reflection was pretty... Captivating? Different? I’m not sure
  2925. how to describe it. Without my clothes on I could easily see how much of
  2926. me had changed. I didn’t even have a spec of body hair on me, anywhere.
  2927. This struck me as odd, because I’m pretty sure women have some of that
  2928. themselves... I shook my head. It seemed logical to assume that the hair
  2929. could just turn into fur, but apparently it was just easier to shed all of
  2930. it and grow magical horse fur from scratch.
  2931.  
  2932.         My hair had finished up its own changes as well. I now had an
  2933. abundance of long light blue hair that did a very good job of resembling
  2934. Luna’s mane in season one. Although it twisted to frame my face in a
  2935. manner that really should have required a stylist, I could tell it was
  2936. definitely starting to grow more lengthwise, as opposed to evenly spaced.
  2937.  
  2938.         In a general way, I pretty much did look like a humanized Luna.
  2939. Aside from the chest and uh... Down below, that is. There was a faint glow
  2940. surrounding my cutiemark that could not have been just from it catching
  2941. the moonlight from the window, as it was evenly illuminated on both hips.
  2942. Somehow just staring at it made all of the changes feel connected and
  2943. according to plan. It felt like a sign that things were going to improve.
  2944. Like I had labored under some kind of illness that was only just now
  2945. starting to clear up. Despite my building anxiety over the past few days,
  2946. staring at this just relaxed me. I could probably stare at those stupid
  2947. marks literally for hours, but was interrupted by a sharp pain from my
  2948. rear.
  2949.  
  2950. If you’ve ever tried to sit in a chair that didn’t exist, only to slam
  2951. down onto your tailbone, it was pretty much like that. I fell forward and
  2952. gripped the dirty brown carpet with trembling hands. There was nothing
  2953. subtle or quick about this change at all. It felt like segments of
  2954. something that never existed were snapping back into place.
  2955.  
  2956.         ‘I guess I’m getting my tail then...’ I thought with a grimace.
  2957. Very weird, I would have thought it would be more of a snaking... growing
  2958. feeling? This was like getting struck by a really thick rubber band over
  2959. and over again, and each time it hit you it was a little further out than
  2960. it should have been.
  2961.  
  2962.         Finally the sensation stopped, and I collapsed onto the floor
  2963. completely. I took in a few deep breaths to center myself and lifted
  2964. myself up as best I could with my legs folded under me and my hands on the
  2965. ground on either side of them.
  2966.  
  2967.         It was hard to say what had been the bigger change, my cutiemark
  2968. first appearing or the tail that was now curled loosely around my side. I
  2969. rose to my feet and covered the lower half of my face with a hand. Yup...
  2970. Definitely humanized Luna at this point.
  2971.  
  2972.         I reached out to touch my tail, which is a thought process most
  2973. people will never get to follow. That was an idea that brought me some
  2974. amusement, at least. The hair was the same colour as my mane, and roughly
  2975. the same texture, albeit a bit smoother? The feeling in it was very numb
  2976. for the time being, and it twitched occasionally. I guess that makes
  2977. sense, adjusting, adapting, whatever. It was like a limb that had been
  2978. asleep for as long as I could remember, and was only just starting to stir
  2979. with renewed blood flow.
  2980.  
  2981.         Someone knocked on the door, and this drove me out of my
  2982. introspective state of mind. I needed to do something about this tail
  2983. before I could get dressed, but was drawing a blank. I could hear a bit of
  2984. arguing on the other side of the door, and the doorknob started to turn a
  2985. bit from weight being applied to it.
  2986.  
  2987.         I pulled my shirt on over my head, and could feel my hair tickle
  2988. my back. It was definitely going to take some time getting used to having
  2989. long hair now. It was such a weird sensation after a lifetime of cutting
  2990. it short. I grabbed my shorts and slipped into them. Luckily they were big
  2991. enough that my tail didn’t get caught on them, but it did trail out of one
  2992. of the legs. I didn’t have time to fasten the belt before the door opened,
  2993. so I just stood there with my hands in my pockets, trying to hold my
  2994. shorts up.
  2995.  
  2996.         Robert was in the doorway arguing with John. They stopped talking
  2997. when the door swung open and just glowered at each other. The scuffle
  2998. ended when John broke eye contact and looked at me, and I shivered. I knew
  2999. that look. I’ve given that look before... I think? In another time,
  3000. another place? It was the look of Cain ready to have a go at Abel.
  3001.  
  3002. John stormed off to him room in defeat once more, but I knew things were
  3003. coming to a head in this household, and that was only going to get worse
  3004. once my condition became common knowledge. Robert entered and closed the
  3005. door with a sigh.
  3006.  
  3007.         “We’re going to have to do something about him soon, or he’s going
  3008. to lash out.” I whispered.
  3009.  
  3010.         “I know.”
  3011.  
  3012.         “No, I mean he is really going to lash out,” I gulped. “Like
  3013. Nightmare Moon style.”
  3014.  
  3015.         Robert snapped and kicked his desk before spinning around. “Then
  3016. send him to the moon or something, right?” He growled.
  3017.  
  3018.         I shook my head, and proceeded to completely miss the point.
  3019. “First of all, it was Celestia that did that... To me.” I considered for a
  3020. moment. “Also I am pretty sure that would require the Elements of Harmony,
  3021. and I don’t have those.”
  3022.  
  3023.         My brother just looked at me for awhile and squinted. “I was
  3024. joking.” He looked me up and down, then fixed his eyes on my pant leg. “I
  3025. see you got your tail then?”
  3026.  
  3027.         He looked much more nervous than before, and I guess I could
  3028. sympathize. The hair thing had only started an hour or two ago, and now I
  3029. had grown an entire tail. We didn’t need to voice the mutual
  3030. understanding. The changes were getting faster.
  3031.  
  3032.         “Y-Yeah... I did.” My tail flicked slightly now that my attention
  3033. was on it, though it was still for the most part restrained by my
  3034. clothing. It was much less numb than before and somehow this boosted my
  3035. spirits quite a bit. Part of me just wanted to reach down, pry it free,
  3036. and hug it close. I’m not ashamed to admit it! The stupid thing was pretty
  3037. valuable to me!
  3038.  
  3039.         ‘I bet I could spend hours just brushing it.’ I thought with glee.
  3040. ‘It is important to maintain a fine appearance!’
  3041.  
  3042.         Well... That lit up my face like a lantern. I folded my hands
  3043. behind my back, and my tail drooped with shame. I couldn’t keep the
  3044. corners of my mouth from smiling, though. ‘Ha! My tail is expressing my
  3045. emotions! That is so...’ I shook my head. ‘Normal? Why does it feel so
  3046. normal?’
  3047.  
  3048. Robert scrunched up his face about as effectively as a human can manage,
  3049. and went over to his desk. “We should get going now, I guess. Before
  3050. you’re on all fours or whatever...” He pulled open a drawer and dug around
  3051. before coming back with a pair of scissors.
  3052.  
  3053. I instinctively grabbed my tail with a hand and backed away, at some point
  3054. it had pulled free of my excessively loose shorts and was swishing about
  3055. with anxiety.
  3056.  
  3057.         “Oh chill out, I’m just making a hole.” He grabbed the waistband
  3058. of my shorts and yanked me over roughly.
  3059.  
  3060.         A few snips and it was done. He let me go and I stepped back and
  3061. away from him, still balanced on the tips of my toes. The hole he made was
  3062. small, so it took some effort to fit my tail through, but that was
  3063. probably for the better in the long run. I picked up my belt and fastened
  3064. the thick cloth through the two metal rings that acted as a buckle. It was
  3065. comical how much of it was dangling loosely on the other side. I guess my
  3066. waist is just a bit thinner now, giant shorts aside.
  3067.  
  3068.         “There, now we can go to the stupid beach, and anyone who sees you
  3069. will probably think you’re just some weird cos-player.” He shook his head.
  3070. “Not that there will be anyone there but maybe a couple of drunks... It’s
  3071. Tuesday night. We should be fine as long as we don’t go on the pier.”
  3072.  
  3073.         I nodded in agreement, and looked down when a familiar warm
  3074. feeling started to flood my body. A soft glow could be seen coming from
  3075. under the legs of my shorts, and Robert seemed to notice as well.
  3076.  
  3077.         “Oh christ, what now?!” He grabbed his keys and shoved himself
  3078. into his jacket with disdain.
  3079.  
  3080.         The feeling spread up to my head and I began to feel incredibly
  3081. dizzy, it focused in on my ears and I felt that annoying familiar twitch.
  3082. I leaned back against the dresser to steady myself and reached up to see
  3083. if my ears had changed.
  3084.  
  3085.         Nope, typical human ears, false alarm... I guess.
  3086.  
  3087.         Didn’t seem like the magic glow from my cutiemark was dying down
  3088. anytime soon, though.
  3089.  
  3090.         “Let’s go...” Robert grumbled darkly, and led me out of the room.
  3091.  
  3092.         Somehow I got the distinct impression he was no longer so certain
  3093. that our ‘Night on the Town’ was a good idea, but once he makes plans it’s
  3094. pretty much impossible to get him to back off. So out we went.
  3095.  
  3096.         The ride to the beach was short and uneventful, even if it was on
  3097. the other side of the city. The night was better than I thought it would
  3098. be, that’s for certain. On more than one occasion Robert grabbed my
  3099. shoulder and yanked my head back through the window. Evidently enjoying
  3100. the cool night wind in your mane is against the law. He did not take my
  3101. comment regarding the creation of new laws very seriously.
  3102.  
  3103.         We parked in a lot at the base of the winding staircase that went
  3104. up to the pier. It was dark here, and Robert was convinced no one that
  3105. really mattered could see me that way. Robert’s car had seen better days,
  3106. the beat up Honda Civic was road-worthy, but I didn’t envy Robert the
  3107. money he was using to keep it on life support. I started to wonder how he
  3108. could afford school, a car, and his wild lifestyle with just a part time
  3109. job at a call center. He must do a lot of saving during the summer months.
  3110.  
  3111.         The beach was so much colder than our little town had been, and I
  3112. wrapped my arms around myself and shivered. Body hair accounts for more
  3113. warmth than people seem to give it credit for. Or maybe that’s just part
  3114. of the whole changing thing.
  3115.  
  3116.         It didn’t last long though, another surge of warmth from my cutie
  3117. mark, and suddenly I didn’t feel quite so cold. My ears flicked in
  3118. confusion and for once had the mobility to follow through. I reached up
  3119. with a clumsy hand and jumped a bit when they caressed soft fur.
  3120.  
  3121.         ‘Jeez, pony ears and a tail, it’s going to be really hard to
  3122. muster a poker face from now on...’ My ears wilted back to prove my point
  3123. for me.
  3124.  
  3125.         Robert stared at me when it happened, I think it was the first
  3126. time he had actually seen the transformation in action. He did not seem
  3127. put at ease by it, instead he folded his arms and leaned against the side
  3128. of his car. He looked more miserable than I've ever seen.
  3129.  
  3130.         I stood balanced on the tips of my bare feet and folded my arms
  3131. behind my back. It helped with posture. “So what are we doing now?”
  3132.  
  3133.         “We’re waiting.” Robert replied curtly.
  3134.  
  3135.         My newly equine ears flicked with curiosity and I tilted my head
  3136. in response. “Waiting for what?”
  3137.  
  3138.         “Them,” he responded as an old beat up station wagon pulled into a
  3139. spot adjacent to us. After the vehicle finished parking and shutting down,
  3140. two men hopped out and marched on over. They complimented each other, I
  3141. will admit that much. One was tall and thin, the other was short and
  3142. rather portly.
  3143.  
  3144. The short one had an unkempt collection of brown hair that was probably as
  3145. close as a human is going to get to having a mane. His face was unshaven,
  3146. though he lacked any significant beard or cultivated facial hair. He wore
  3147. a pentacle around his neck and wore a shirt advertising some band that was
  3148. definitely too edgy for me. I was altogether unimpressed. It was hard for
  3149. me to respect the kind of man who came to a beach wearing combat boots.
  3150.  
  3151.         The tall one had a far more conservative look about him, though
  3152. his partner was a textbook unwashed male, he was a bit more elegant and
  3153. clean. He wore a silvery gray shirt and dark gray shorts with a pair of
  3154. black sandals. Around one wrist was a thick silver bracelet with the
  3155. different phases of the moon carved into it. It didn’t quite fit his
  3156. skinny wrist, but I thought it was wonderful all the same.
  3157.  
  3158.         Robert approached the short one and essentially tackled him in a
  3159. hug, which was returned, albeit with less enthusiasm. The tall one seemed
  3160. incredibly uncomfortable.
  3161.  
  3162.         “Edward! I’m so glad to see you! Thanks for coming out man!” My
  3163. brother spared no time identifying the fat one, and I bristled quietly.
  3164.  
  3165.         “What’s the meaning of this? I thought we were supposed to do this
  3166. later! Something about one last night to relax or whatever?” I glared
  3167. imperiously from my position on raised toes.
  3168.  
  3169.         Edward stalked toward me with a look of naked wonder on his face.
  3170. A fascination he quickly struggled to disguise as he attempted to make
  3171. idle conversation. “Wow Robert, you weren’t kidding.”
  3172.  
  3173.         Robert awkwardly greeted the tall man before turning to face me
  3174. and my displeasure. “And uh... Hey Andrew, how are things with Ann?”
  3175.  
  3176.         “We broke up.” Andrew replied in a deadpan voice that made Robert
  3177. wince and immediately switch social targets.
  3178.  
  3179.         “Listen... Eric, I’m sorry to spring this on you, but you’ve
  3180. noticed it as much as I have. The changes are happening more quickly.” He
  3181. shook his head. “We may not even have another night, but I don’t see why
  3182. we can’t just hang out. You can answer a few of Edward’s questions and we
  3183. can walk along the cliffs or whatever!”
  3184.  
  3185.         My tail and ears made my unhappiness known with a few sharp
  3186. flicks. “Fine, I guess I don’t see the harm in that...” The things I do
  3187. for my family.
  3188.  
  3189.         Edward spared no time getting right up in my face. I raised a brow
  3190. at him as he curiously paced around me, scrutinizing my every feature.
  3191. Andrew looked almost as embarrassed as I felt. There was a sharp sting
  3192. from my tail and I cried out before whirling around against the nosy
  3193. little rat.
  3194.  
  3195.         “What do you think you’re doing? That’s enough!”
  3196.  
  3197.         Edward stood absolutely still, a light blue strand of hair from my
  3198. tail still held between his thumb and forefinger. He quietly slid it into
  3199. the pocket of his jacket and dusted his hands.
  3200.  
  3201.         “Sorry about that... Just wanted to see if it was real is all.” He
  3202. narrowed his eyes at Robert. “Your brother has gone to greater lengths
  3203. than this to prank me before.”
  3204.  
  3205.         My lips tightened into a frown. “I’m sure.”
  3206.  
  3207.         “Listen, can we just try to calm things down?” Robert wormed his
  3208. way between the two of us in an effort to diffuse a territorial dispute.
  3209. “Let's just start walking, alright?”
  3210.  
  3211.         We all followed after Robert, some of us more meekly than others.
  3212. The pier acted as a sort of divider between the sand of the beach and the
  3213. rough wave sculpted rock of the cliffs. Even at night you could see the
  3214. myriad things etched into the stone by bored passersby and love struck
  3215. couples with a swiss army knife on hoof.
  3216.  
  3217.         Or hand, for that matter.
  3218.  
  3219.         We finally reached a quiet spot without any illumination and
  3220. settled down. I sat on the edge of the cliffs with my feet dangling just
  3221. far enough over the side for the waves to tickle them as they rose up.
  3222. Andrew was amazingly less shy when he took off his sandals and sat beside
  3223. me, though it was obvious he was doing his best to not look in my
  3224. direction. Sometimes he did anyway, and I would catch him blushing.
  3225.  
  3226.         I felt odd about that. It wasn’t that I was flattered or offended
  3227. by it. What was peculiar was my absence of feeling one way or another.
  3228. There was only a nebulous understanding that we were not even in the same
  3229. class. We may as well have been different species. I guess pretty soon
  3230. that would actually be the case, but still.
  3231.  
  3232.         Robert and Edward were off discussing things. My ears swiveled to
  3233. hone in on their conversation, but I found it uninteresting for the most
  3234. part. Edward wanted to know why they hadn’t taken me to his place instead
  3235. of going on this insipid adventure first, and Robert wanted to know why Ed
  3236. was being so insensitive.
  3237.  
  3238.         I peered up at the sky. The stars were difficult to see through
  3239. the marine layer, but the moon was big and bright. It would be full soon,
  3240. I knew.
  3241.  
  3242.         ‘It will be full in 31 hours.’ I mused quietly, and then blinked.
  3243. Wait... What?
  3244.  
  3245.         I leaned onto my back with my arms crossed behind my head and
  3246. stared up at the moon. Something felt off about it, was it too small? Too
  3247. distant? Was it just the nature of it in general? I had a sinking feeling
  3248. that I wouldn’t be altering the course of day and night anytime soon.
  3249. Maybe having an intimate understanding of its cycle was just the best I
  3250. could manage? I closed my eyes and felt the gentle pull of its gravity
  3251. against the water around me. It was a soothing feeling, and I could just
  3252. imagine reaching out to that force, greeting it warmly like a distant
  3253. relation, and then gently mani-
  3254.  
  3255.         Searing pain unlike anything I had ever felt before raged through
  3256. my skull and shot through the rest of my body. I screamed very loudly, and
  3257. in a shrill high voice. I grabbed at the sides of my head as if that would
  3258. somehow contain things, even as I started kicking and thrashing about. I
  3259. could feel Andrew’s hands wrap around my wrists before being pinned to the
  3260. slick rock, then a moment of hesitation as he climbed on top of me to keep
  3261. me from slipping into the water.
  3262.  
  3263.         “Eric!?” Robert’s voiced sounded distant despite its urgency. I
  3264. heard the sound of heavy footfalls, and felt someone lifting my necklace
  3265. up over my head before replacing it with something else. My thighs were on
  3266. fire and the pain in my head was only getting worse. Even so, I managed to
  3267. open my eyes and look at what was happening.
  3268.  
  3269.         Edward was staring at me in wonder, Andrew had been shoved off of
  3270. me and was on his rear, limbs splayed out to catch himself, and Robert's
  3271. hands were gripping my shoulders tightly. He was shaking me back and forth
  3272. and crying.
  3273.  
  3274.         “See? I told you we should have just taken her to my place.”
  3275. Edward grumbled.
  3276.  
  3277.         I was starting to fade and lose consciousness, but I wasn’t giving
  3278. up without a fight.
  3279.  
  3280.         “Shut up and help me get him to the car...” Robert grunted and
  3281. placed his arms around me before trying to stand up.
  3282.  
  3283.         Edward reached into his jacket and pulled out a small but thick
  3284. metal bar, it was painted a dull gray and reflected no moonlight. He
  3285. raised it into the air and brought it down on the back of Robert’s head.
  3286.  
  3287.         That expression would have been funny under less violent
  3288. circumstances. Robert’s mouth dropped open as though he were trying to
  3289. exaggerate an ‘O’ sound, and his eyes were wide. He dropped me, my impact
  3290. with the ground only made me fade faster. He fell to his knees and slowly
  3291. turned to face Edward. He was confused, and I could tell the blow was
  3292. almost certainly a knock out.
  3293.  
  3294.         Edward reached out with his foot and shoved Robert off the side of
  3295. the cliff and into the water. “We’ll take mine, thanks.” He placed the bar
  3296. back into his jacket and turned to Andrew, who honestly looked more
  3297. startled than Robert had, if that were possible.
  3298.  
  3299.         “Come on, help me get her to the car.”
  3300.  
  3301.         That’s about when I lost consciousness.
  3302.  
  3303.         The sun was too bright, and the ground was too hot to walk on with
  3304. my bare feet. Why feet and not hooves, I wondered? I danced from foot to
  3305. foot and raced in the only direction I had time to consider, straight
  3306. ahead. Time didn’t really make sense, and I was in too much pain to keep
  3307. track anyway.
  3308.  
  3309.         Eventually I did reach a comforting blanket of shadow, and
  3310. abruptly the sun was gone. In its place was a glorious and peaceful night
  3311. sky that was littered with diamonds of gentle light, and in the center of
  3312. it all, a brilliant comforting moon. A real one, not the tiny placeholder
  3313. I had grown up with.
  3314.  
  3315. I trotted forward on my hooves and looked around. I felt at peace. This
  3316. was a sanctuary for me, and I could spend hours exploring every inch and
  3317. never be less enchanted by it.
  3318.  
  3319. I came to a massive rock wall, and in the side was a fissure large enough
  3320. to form a narrow canyon. I had to wriggle through at first before the area
  3321. really opened up, but when it did I had to take a breath to steady myself.
  3322. The moon was hovering overhead, and was so large the opening in the rock
  3323. above me could not fit its entirety. The light from above reflected off
  3324. the walls and gave everything a faint silvery glow. It reminded me vaguely
  3325. of a memory in some other place. A place where I stood on two legs and my
  3326. cutie mark had only just appeared, glowing with that same light. I shook
  3327. my head to clear it of such outlandish thoughts and proceeded deeper.
  3328.  
  3329.         The air here was thin and damp, and reminded me of altitudes one
  3330. might reach while napping on a cloud. The wind sang through the chambers
  3331. and carved the layers of rock into a monochromatic rainbow while also
  3332. tugging at my mane and tail. My wings I kept firmly tucked into my sides
  3333. to avoid unnecessary discomfort. In certain areas I could see drawings,
  3334. little cave paintings of a time when the sun and the moon had been
  3335. friends.
  3336.  
  3337.         It seemed over time, such had stopped being the case.
  3338.  
  3339.         The narrow passageway curved outwards rather abruptly and formed a
  3340. large chamber, and upon entering it the crack behind me slammed together
  3341. like some great burden had been lifted off of it. I jumped away from it,
  3342. flapping my wings restlessly and alighting on the ground with the soft
  3343. patter of gilded hooves. I turned away from the wall, content that my
  3344. safety was no longer in jeopardy.
  3345.  
  3346.         The moon could be seen, clear and completely, from the much wider
  3347. opening. It radiated magic down to the ground I walked until it was like a
  3348. wellspring of moonlight. In the center of the chamber was a massive dial.
  3349. Many circles trailed the circumference of the dial, and in each sat a
  3350. reflection of myself. At the start was a human man I could only barely
  3351. associate with, in each circle it became increasingly me, increasingly a
  3352. pony, but even when it was completely a pony it was not completely myself.
  3353. Its mane was the soft light blue of my youth, and it did not drift in the
  3354. air on winds that did not exist. The circles winded back around until the
  3355. pony was a human once more. The focus of the moonlight danced around and
  3356. centered on each it its own time, and I could sense that the dial itself
  3357. was a source of great confusion. Though I knew not to what.
  3358.  
  3359.         I circled the dial cautiously, doing my best to sate my curiosity
  3360. from a safe distance. Aside from the obvious there was nothing truly
  3361. remarkable about it. There were no more clues as to its nature, but I
  3362. could not help but feel attracted to it. It had a certain gravity all its
  3363. own that made me want to come closer, and closer...
  3364.  
  3365.         I shook my head to clear it of the strange effect. Something was
  3366. happening in the sky above, and it demanded my immediate attention. The
  3367. sun had finally caught up to me, it looked like. Every inch that its light
  3368. claimed in my sanctuary felt invasive, and I scooted back in fear until my
  3369. rear was pressed up against the cold stone wall on the opposite side.
  3370.  
  3371.         The sun pushed the moon out of the sky, and the ground shook with
  3372. the occasional shard that crashed down from the impact. Springs of
  3373. moonlight bubbled up from the ground where they landed, only to be dried
  3374. up by the light of the sun, which slowly crept toward me and was now
  3375. beginning to land on the dial.
  3376.  
  3377.         The construct shifted and screeched under the oppressive gleam,
  3378. and a single solitary shadow landed on a phase in between pony and human,
  3379. an occurrence that to me appeared quite auspicious. I didn’t have too much
  3380. time to dwell on this, because the entire thing, reflections and all,
  3381. collapsed into a twitching pool of liquid darkness. It oozed over and away
  3382. from the sunlight. Which of course meant it was heading in my direction.
  3383.  
  3384.         I could not stop myself. I screamed, begged, and pleaded for the
  3385. sun to halt its jealous advance. I tried to tell it what it was doing from
  3386. my pathetic place down on the ground, but it either did not hear me or did
  3387. not care. The caustic liquid was almost upon me, and I took wing in
  3388. earnest. It didn’t do me much good.
  3389.  
  3390.         Tendrils lashed out like a frightened child or animal, and wrapped
  3391. themselves around me in an embrace that choked the air out of me and
  3392. pulled me down. I felt cold all over, but at least I was safe from the
  3393. sunlight. As long as I was surrounded by that eternal night it would be
  3394. safe, and so would I. Even if I was human, and I noted with some dismay
  3395. that I was. I was even male to add insult to injury, though my abdomen
  3396. ached and burned with a persistence that was really starting to get to me.
  3397. That, coupled with a burning from my thighs, dragged me from that pitch
  3398. black pool and into the searing light of day. I opened my eyes and
  3399. screamed.
  3400.  
  3401.         The sun was in my eyes when I woke up, and it was blinding. That
  3402. didn’t do a lot to distract me from the unbearable agony I was feeling
  3403. just south of my waistband, though. My cutiemark was burning with enough
  3404. energy to make my legs twitch and my toes curl in like some cruel mockery
  3405. of hooves. It was a safe bet that I was changing again, and given where
  3406. those changes were centered I was convinced I didn’t want to watch.
  3407.  
  3408.         I groaned and thrashed about while tears slowly trickled down my
  3409. face. I didn’t sob, but there were times when I certainly wanted to. It
  3410. had probably only been a few minutes, but it felt like hours before the
  3411. pain finally receded. I stole a glance down the front of my shorts just to
  3412. check on things and sighed. Yup, I was definitely a she now. Time to make
  3413. a full scale assault on the birth certificate, we can get that pesky name
  3414. out of the way while we’re at it. Eric is a terrible name for a girl. Luna
  3415. would be far more appropriate.
  3416.  
  3417.         This definitely was not the cliffs where I had passed out, either.
  3418. I was having difficulty remembering what had happened there just in
  3419. general. Whatever happened it couldn’t have ended well, because I was in
  3420. some tiny room with a bowl of water and a bowl of cheap store bought
  3421. salad. Around my neck was a thick but relatively pliant leather cuff that
  3422. was attached to a really thick and durable looking chain. The chain itself
  3423. was wrapped around a support beam for the ceiling. If I had to guess I’d
  3424. say I was in some kind of cabin. The room was clear of items, aside from
  3425. the kind of cheap bed comforter you might find in a Walmart, and a large
  3426. pot nearby. There wasn’t even a clock for me to keep track of the time.
  3427.  
  3428.         ‘Pretty sure it’s 4:32 in the afternoon, anyway...’ I thought
  3429. bitterly. Evidently my knowledge of the moon extended to what time of day
  3430. it was.
  3431.  
  3432.         Sparing a final scrutinizing look around the room, I decided that
  3433. random knack would actually prove useful. It didn’t look like I was going
  3434. anywhere anytime soon at least.
  3435.  
  3436.         The room was painted with occult symbols of all sorts, and
  3437. apparently some of them were still drying. So my makeshift cell was a
  3438. recent development. Around each of my wrists was a small metal cuff of
  3439. some rough metal, and both were held shut with simple Masterlocks. They
  3440. weren’t attached to anything though, which had me vaguely confused.
  3441.  
  3442.         This was all very weird, and somehow painfully familiar. The
  3443. events from the night before started to trickle back to me in reverse, and
  3444. I felt nothing but outrage. I tugged at the chain around my neck
  3445. half-heartedly. I already knew I wouldn’t be breaking it, not like this.
  3446. Maybe when things finish up I can buck the support beam, or rip the chain
  3447. apart with magic, or something.
  3448.  
  3449.         Speaking of magic, what the hell had happened to my head last
  3450. night? It felt like someone stabbed me with a red hot poker. Not that I’ve
  3451. ever actually felt that, but I feel comfortable with my comparison. I
  3452. reached up tentatively and poked around, and yelped when my hand brushed
  3453. up against a narrow protrusion coming out of my skull.
  3454.  
  3455.         It wasn’t as long as in the show yet, but it was pretty close in
  3456. size to an average unicorn horn. A thought occurred to me: ‘I wonder if I
  3457. can do magic?’
  3458.  
  3459.         I licked my lips with anticipation, and well, also because they
  3460. felt pretty dry. What was I going to try first? I turned about in my cell
  3461. with my tail swishing erratically, and searched for something worthwhile.
  3462.  
  3463.         ‘Right! The chain! It couldn’t hurt to start there!’ 
  3464.  
  3465.         I stared at the length of metal links until my eyes started to go
  3466. cross, and thumped my foot against the hardwood floor in irritation when
  3467. things didn’t seem to take.
  3468.  
  3469.         ‘I don’t even know what I am doing...’
  3470.  
  3471.         I grit my teeth and growled before releasing my frustration with a
  3472. high pitched yell. “Stupid chain! Break!”
  3473.  
  3474.         A crackling feeling filled my mind and faint midnight blue sparks
  3475. flared from the tip of my horn. The chain was abruptly seized in an aura
  3476. of the same colour.
  3477.  
  3478.         “Wha-”
  3479.  
  3480.         I didn’t have time to vocalize my confusion, the aura gave a sharp
  3481. yank on the chain. I yelped and reached up for the collar around my neck
  3482. just as I was pulled with the chain and slammed into the support beam. My
  3483. vision filled with stars and I started choking for air.
  3484.  
  3485.         The door to my room slammed open and in its place stood a very
  3486. irritated looking Edward. “What the hell is going on here!?” He stomped
  3487. over to where I was curled up, but took a step back when a few errant
  3488. sparks flew from my horn.
  3489.  
  3490.         “Oh you know, just trying to break free of this chain. The usual
  3491. thing someone does when you KIDNAP THEM.” My voice elevated in volume
  3492. towards the end, and he blinked like this was the first time he’d heard my
  3493. voice.
  3494.  
  3495.         Edward grumbled to himself and started pacing around the room. I
  3496. glared at him from my spot on the floor, but didn’t get up.
  3497.  
  3498.         “Of course I kidnapped you! Whatever is happening to you, whatever
  3499. the hell you are, it’s magic! Do you know how fucking long I’ve been
  3500. trying to get that right?” He took a step toward me. “How long we have
  3501. been trying to get that right?” He shook his head. “The hell does it
  3502. matter to you if we collect a few strands of hair or take some blood
  3503. samples? You’re lucky I don’t take a hacksaw to that horn and try it for a
  3504. wand.”
  3505.  
  3506.         “Are you absolutely serious? That is disgusting!” I finally rose
  3507. to my feet, and he crept back a bit in surprise. “You’re a disgusting
  3508. individual! When I get out of this I swear I’m going t—”
  3509.  
  3510.         I’m really running out of creative ways to describe how much
  3511. something hurts, suffice it to say my threat was cut off when the bones in
  3512. my feet started to crunch together, and left me with an ultimately more
  3513. equine alternative to human feet. I wailed out and collapsed onto my rear,
  3514. then I wailed out again because I landed on my tail. I looked down and
  3515. noticed that my new feet—Horses still have those, I reminded myself, only
  3516. the hard bit is called a hoof—didn’t even have any fur covering them. The
  3517. hoof itself was a light shade of blue, so it would blend in with the fur
  3518. when it did start growing in. But at the moment it was kind of disgusting.
  3519. I did my best to focus my attention on Edward instead.
  3520.  
  3521.         “I don’t really think I have much to worry about. Every time you
  3522. get uppity, some new change seems to incapacitate your ass.” Edward
  3523. replied smugly. “I don’t have time for you right now, Andrew will be by in
  3524. a bit to check your food and water.”
  3525.  
  3526.         All I could do for now was glare at him as he slammed the door
  3527. behind him. I can’t imagine myself ever wishing that I could just hurry up
  3528. and be a pony more than that moment. I turned to reach out for the
  3529. comforter to huddle against, or at least to cover my hooves with it. A
  3530. snap sounded from my horn that startled me, and I realized that I had
  3531. forgotten to reach out for it with my hands, a soft blue aura was holding
  3532. it in the air before me, and as soon as I realized what was happening it
  3533. fluttered to the ground softly.
  3534.  
  3535.         I stared at it for a few moments before reaching out and pulling
  3536. it over me.
  3537.  
  3538.         It turns out that Andrew coming by soon actually meant Andrew
  3539. would be coming by three hours later. Also, I found out what the large pot
  3540. was for. You think you can cope with these sorts of things, you think
  3541. you’ve had plenty of dreams where you walked on hooves and everything
  3542. worked out just fine. The reality was quite a bit different, and the
  3543. second I put weight on my feet so as to stand, a wave of vertigo overtook
  3544. me.
  3545.  
  3546.         I am not ashamed to say I threw up. I actually take pride in the
  3547. truth that I had the presence of mind to aim for the pot.
  3548.  
  3549.         Things got better quickly. I adapted, and it wasn’t as though it
  3550. was unfamiliar to me. Like every other change there was a faint euphoria,
  3551. a sensation that this was right and somehow true. I wasn’t sure if that
  3552. was positive reinforcement from my body to help me cope, or if it was just
  3553. memories welling up from inside of me.
  3554.  
  3555.         The water bowl was emptied by me using the liquid to clean my
  3556. mouth. I drank whatever was leftover, and ate the salad to replace what I
  3557. had lost. By the time Andrew came in he actually had work to do.
  3558.  
  3559.         The youth was dressed all in black now, but not in some goth
  3560. style. He wore slacks and a collared shirt, for example. Though he did
  3561. seem altogether miserable, which I suppose is a fairly goth thing to be.
  3562. It was hard to not feel sorry for him, even considering my own
  3563. predicament.
  3564.  
  3565.         “Andrew, was it?” I inquired politely. “Would it be alright if I
  3566. asked you a question?”
  3567.  
  3568.         “Uhm...” He started stacking the bowls gently. “Yes?”
  3569.  
  3570.         “Why is it in every hostage situation where there are partners,
  3571. one of them is a ruthless asshole, and the other one is an actual human
  3572. being?” I smiled at him mischievously. “Am I supposed to show you the
  3573. magic of friendship and redeem you or something? Because I can totally do
  3574. that you know, pony and stuff.”
  3575.  
  3576.         He stopped what he was doing and just stared at me. There wasn’t a
  3577. flicker of mirth or agitation. If anything he seemed a little confused.
  3578. “Not yet,” he replied softly.
  3579.  
  3580.         He looked down at his watch to check the time, and I decided to
  3581. take this opportunity and build a foundation for myself as spooky and
  3582. wise.
  3583.  
  3584.         “It’s 7:48.”
  3585.  
  3586.         He stared at his watch and then looked back up at me. “How did you
  3587. know that?” Again, no emotion, just confusion.
  3588.  
  3589.         “I’m turning into a pony princess that is partially responsible
  3590. for controlling day and night, and you’re surprised that I can tell what
  3591. time it is?”
  3592.  
  3593. Andrew nodded as if that explained everything, which I suppose technically
  3594. it had. He moved over to the large bowl and then looked back up at me.
  3595.  
  3596. “Are you sick?”
  3597.  
  3598. A hint of concern? I’ll bite. “Not anymore,” I replied.
  3599.  
  3600.         “Okay.” He placed the stacked bowls into the large pot. Then stood
  3601. up and made way for the door. He hesitated there, though. “Is it true? Do
  3602. you have that mark, I mean?” He looked at the floor like he was breaking
  3603. some kind of rule. “Edward looked you over when he brought you here, but I
  3604. didn’t think it was very polite to do the same... Guess it seemed
  3605. unnecessary.”
  3606.  
  3607.         “What, you mean my cutiemark?”
  3608.  
  3609.         He nodded slowly. “If that’s what you call it, I guess.”
  3610.  
  3611.         I pulled at the waistband of my shorts and lowered them just
  3612. enough for him to see the crescent moon and night sky on my thigh. He
  3613. blinked in amazement.
  3614.  
  3615.         “You are touched by the goddess...” He made some kind of gesture
  3616. and bowed his head according to some practice I didn’t recognize.
  3617.  
  3618.         “Psh... Implying I’m not the moon goddess.” I replied. “Or at
  3619. least as close as this place is going to get.” I lifted my wrists up and
  3620. emphasized the makeshift manacles. “I showed you my little coming of age
  3621. mark, what are these for?”
  3622.  
  3623.         “They’re iron, Edward thinks they’ll dampen your magic and keep
  3624. him safe.”
  3625.  
  3626.         “And what do you think? Am I some mean Fairy that is going to
  3627. carry you away from your family?”
  3628.  
  3629.         He shook his head, once again emotionless. “I think they’re not
  3630. cold-iron, so it wouldn’t matter if you were.”
  3631.  
  3632.         He turned, opened the door, and left. About thirty minutes later
  3633. he came back in with fresh supplies. The water was a bit cleaner and cold
  3634. instead of room temperature, and the salad had dressing on it and a
  3635. plastic fork to go with it. He placed all of these down on the floor just
  3636. out of reach, and stopped.
  3637.  
  3638.         “Edward says you can move things with your horn now. He told me to
  3639. make you use your magic.” He turned back to the doorway to see if anyone
  3640. was watching. Then he scooted the salad and water a bit closer with his
  3641. foot.
  3642.  
  3643.         He left the room in silence and closed the door behind him. I
  3644. shook my head and spoke to the room, or myself.
  3645.  
  3646.         “Why is there one in every story?”
  3647.  
  3648.         They didn’t come at night, and I was curious why that was. Surely
  3649. Andrew had to be one who would celebrate the night, and Edward seemed far
  3650. too driven for sleep. I wondered if he was making any progress with his
  3651. little experiments.
  3652.  
  3653.         My primary concern was cabin fever. I tried to get some sleep to
  3654. escape the worst of it, but as soon as that sun went down sleep was just
  3655. impossible. I was far from unengaged, though. I could feel the moon move
  3656. through the sky all on its own. It was like watching your kid learn to
  3657. ride a bicycle, and made me feel strangely homesick.
  3658.  
  3659.         I was curled up on my side to accommodate my increasingly pony
  3660. body, though at the moment my new hooves were still the only change. At
  3661. around midnight wisps of light fur began streaking there way up from my
  3662. hooves. An hour later it was hard to tell where the hard nail of my hoof
  3663. ended and the fur began. It was starting to look a bit less unnatural, and
  3664. I was honestly a bit relieved. I was worried I would look weird and I
  3665. don’t know... A bit more realistic than what is depicted in the show? That
  3666. did not seem to be the case. Heck, even the colour had an usual cast to
  3667. it. The colour just didn’t feel like it belonged here with everything
  3668. else.
  3669.  
  3670.         As I mentioned, I wasn’t bored. I was quite content to lay there
  3671. tuned into the moon like some kind of mystery transmission. My horn was
  3672. growing along with the fur, I could tell. If I concentrated enough I could
  3673. almost feel it winding its way out like a corkscrew through my skull. It
  3674. was developing a pretty nasty point, too. That would be a pretty handy
  3675. weapon if Edward couldn’t find a way to deal with it first.
  3676.  
  3677.         By the time dawn began its approach, my legs were almost
  3678. completely covered in fur. The growth was strangely comforting and
  3679. reminded me of how ticklish I was. I laughed more than a few times, and
  3680. when it reached the point where it started to overlap with my cutie mark,
  3681. I took a look at it. It was perfect, I don’t really know how else to put
  3682. it. It was like my cutie mark had sat in the center of a blank canvas, and
  3683. now the rest of that was being filled in. They fit together perfectly. My
  3684. legs bent to take on a much more appropriate shape around the same time,
  3685. and I stopped bothering with the whole walk like a human thing. It’s a
  3686. good thing I wasn’t able to escape, because well... I wouldn’t have been
  3687. able to escape anyway.
  3688.  
  3689.         The sun was officially up when I felt a sharp stab in my back. I
  3690. did my best to take off my shirt and take a look. because of the chain
  3691. around my neck, my shirt was now abandoned and sent down the length of the
  3692. chain until it was against the support beam.
  3693.  
  3694. A pair of tiny wings were growing from my back, which definitely explained
  3695. the pain. They weren’t growing out from the top, you know, like a pair of
  3696. angel wings or whatever? These were almost actually coming from my sides,
  3697. in the middle. I was pretty sure that once they were finished growing
  3698. their proper home would be tucked in along my sides, not along my back.
  3699.  
  3700.         ‘Wings! I can’t believe I’m going to have wings again!’
  3701.  
  3702.         ‘I mean... I can’t believe I’m going to have wings for the first
  3703. time ever.’
  3704.  
  3705.         When Andrew came in at around 10:16, he found me curled up on top
  3706. of the comforter as if I were a pony already. The lower half of my body
  3707. was totally equine, and my tail flicked about like a slow metronome. His
  3708. eyes widened when he saw my wings, the same way they had widened when he
  3709. saw my cutiemark. I didn’t blame him. They were starting to get pretty
  3710. big, I could even move them a little bit, and I stretched them out a bit
  3711. just to display them with pride.
  3712.  
  3713.         The sun was streaming in through a skylight, and was already
  3714. starting to put me to sleep. So I wasn’t much for conversation. He
  3715. replaced the food and water in my bowls and made to leave.
  3716.  
  3717.         “Thank you.” I whispered politely.
  3718.  
  3719.         He just nodded in an embarrassed and awkward fashion, then left.
  3720.  
  3721.         It was getting really hard to use my hands. I couldn’t manipulate
  3722. the provided fork with them, and I was really glad to have my horn
  3723. already, because I just didn’t have the face structure to be eating
  3724. directly from the bowl. I couldn’t do much yet, but I could move things
  3725. around. All it took was a little imagination on my part. That mysterious
  3726. transmission was a good teacher, and I snatched up the fork in a gravity
  3727. all my own. The salad may have been cheap, but it was tasting better
  3728. increasingly, and I noticed more good stuff was finding its way in. This
  3729. time there were even cucumbers.
  3730.  
  3731.         I shuddered, picked those out, and hid them. I couldn’t really put
  3732. my hoof on it, but I just didn’t want to eat them. I also didn’t want
  3733. Andrew to know I hated his little offering. The rest of the salad was
  3734. delicious, and grinding it down between my teeth was taking less and less
  3735. effort. Those must have changed too. I was going to need to brush them
  3736. soon, I wondered if I could get Andrew to smuggle me in a toothbrush.
  3737.  
  3738.         I finished my dinner and smiled before curling up around my
  3739. comforter. I knew I should probably be a little more pissed off, a little
  3740. more afraid, but it was getting really hard. Everything felt perfect,
  3741. everything was just... eventual. I didn’t need to worry about my human
  3742. life anymore, I was a captive, for the time being I reminded myself. My
  3743. mother’s deep seated childhood issues weren’t my problem anymore. John
  3744. wasn’t my problem anymore. Robert was...
  3745.  
  3746.         I started to cry, gentle tears streamed down my face and I pulled
  3747. the blanket a little tighter between my curled hands. How could I let
  3748. myself be calm like this? My brother was probably dead because of me. I
  3749. was a terrible sister, and I deserved to be locked away like this.
  3750.  
  3751.         I dwelled on those thoughts and slowly fell into sleep. That cold
  3752. feeling from before was more intense than ever, and even the warmth of my
  3753. cutiemark seemed faint in comparison.
  3754.  
  3755.         That crater again, my sanctuary. The moon wasn’t in the sky
  3756. though, it was at my feet. I lifted a forehoof and inspected it curiously.
  3757. It was difficult to imagine, but hadn’t that been something else recently?
  3758.  
  3759.         Ah, a dream then.
  3760.  
  3761.         I cantered around the little cell and felt that it was altogether
  3762. familiar. I rested on my haunches and considered. I did not think I would
  3763. be able to fly up and out, that did not seem possible to me in the context
  3764. of the dream.
  3765.  
  3766.         The dial was as recondite as ever, the shadow that it cast was now
  3767. much closer to the circle that was purely a pony. I must have struggled
  3768. with it for hours, but I could neither change it, nor discern its purpose.
  3769.  
  3770.         Then the sun began to rise, and its light poured into my cell. So
  3771. not a dream then, a nightmare. I did my best to puzzle out an escape, but
  3772. there was none. I had no friends here, no family with dreams I could
  3773. escape to.
  3774.  
  3775.         The dial twisted and melted into liquid night again, and just like
  3776. before it swept toward me like a tide. I didn’t even bother resisting this
  3777. time. When it reached me I was curled up in a ball, and I stayed that way
  3778. when it dragged me under.
  3779.  
  3780.         It was cold, very cold, but once again that wasn’t such a bad
  3781. thing after the heat of the sun. I drifted in that place for longer than I
  3782. could count. Sometimes it felt like I had to take a breath, so I did, and
  3783. I breathed it in.
  3784.  
  3785.         It hurt at first, it felt a bit like I was choking. I am reminded
  3786. of the first time I tried Greek yogurt, and how difficult it was to
  3787. swallow. The suffocating feeling was something I could press on through,
  3788. but not the series of sharp pains in my side and belly. My eye twitched
  3789. and I felt at once enraged and terrified.
  3790.  
  3791.         The darkness melted away, but I still had more than a bit of it
  3792. with me, and with determination born of anger, I rose to meet the sun.
  3793.  
  3794.         “Wake up you stupid horse!” That was what I had the good fortune
  3795. to wake up to. That and Edward’s boot against my side. It hurt, but not a
  3796. lot. Either I was made of stronger stuff now, or he just wasn’t very
  3797. strong. It could be a little bit of both, I snorted.
  3798.  
  3799.         “Hey! Watch her wing!” Andrew called out with concern. Guess he
  3800. does have a will of his own. So he wasn’t being mind controlled then, good
  3801. for him.
  3802.  
  3803.         “Like I give a fuck about her wing! We need to figure out how to
  3804. get this stuff to work! She can use magic and we can’t! I’ve seriously
  3805. tried everything, I even went full on Harry Potter and used her tail hair
  3806. for a wand core!”
  3807.  
  3808.         It was nighttime now, the moon was already in the sky, and shining
  3809. directly down through the skylight to greet me. It was full. I was full
  3810. too, I noted. My hands were gone, my face was utterly alien, and I was
  3811. covered with fur all over. I rose to my hooves and battled with another
  3812. bout of vertigo. It wouldn’t be dignified to lose my lunch right here in
  3813. front of this villain. I stretched my wings and yawned.
  3814.  
  3815.         “What the hell do you want, Ed?” I ran a hoof through the fur
  3816. along my side to clean it of some dirt that had come loose from his boot.
  3817. “We are trying to get our beauty sleep.”
  3818.  
  3819.         “Don’t get all royal we on me! I want answers.” He grabbed a chair
  3820. that was new to the room and moved to sit down. I turned my head and
  3821. inspected a hoof demurely, my horn lit up and the chair scooted an inch or
  3822. two behind him. He crashed onto the ground with a yelp.
  3823.  
  3824.         “I don’t have any answers, at least not the ones you’re looking
  3825. for.” I turned back to face him. “You’re just human, as far as I know. It
  3826. sure does suck to be you.” I looked around the room and took a few paces
  3827. forward. My shorts must have come loose during the transformation, because
  3828. they collapsed into a pile behind me. “Look at all of this wasted
  3829. effort...” He looked up at me from the floor, his face was incredibly red
  3830. at this point. “It’s all bullshit, you know? There’s no magic in any of
  3831. this. You wouldn’t know a friend if it bit you on the ass.”
  3832.  
  3833.         He jumped to his feet and pulled out that metal bar from before,
  3834. the one he had used on my brother. I was faintly aware that Andrew was
  3835. saying something, but I couldn’t hear it over Edward’s red rage of
  3836. terrible revenge.
  3837.  
  3838.         “I am not in the mood for your arrogant princess bullshit! I’ll
  3839. get the information I need if I have to cripple you for it!”
  3840.  
  3841.         I didn’t even have time to think. I flapped my wings once out of
  3842. fear and took a step back, but he tackled me to the ground and started
  3843. hitting me in the head over and over again with the bar. He didn’t seem to
  3844. know where to aim the blow, but quantity was starting to make up for
  3845. quality of hits. I was getting dizzy real fast, and cold all over. I
  3846. reached up with a hoof to feel for the necklace Robert had given me, but
  3847. it was gone. I dimly recalled losing it at the cliffs.
  3848.  
  3849.         Edward finally got off of me and dropped the bar onto the ground,
  3850. there were a few traces of blood on it from where he’d managed to break
  3851. the skin on my head. He was hyperventilating and looked like he was about
  3852. to pass out.
  3853.  
  3854.         “Andrew, go get me the hacksaw...” He weezed out.
  3855.  
  3856.         But nothing happened.
  3857.  
  3858.         “Andrew, go get me the hacksaw, now.”
  3859.  
  3860.         He turned to focus his attention on his accomplice, but as it
  3861. turned out, Andrew was nowhere to be seen.
  3862.  
  3863.         “Oh you son of a bitch!” Edward was back on his feet again and
  3864. going full throttle. He stopped in the doorway and sneered at me. “Don’t
  3865. you go anywhere Princess! I’ll be right back!”
  3866.  
  3867.         I didn’t go anywhere, and he was back a few minutes later while I
  3868. was still struggling to clear my head. I saw the glint of metal, it was a
  3869. blinding light, just like the sun. He was taunting me again, but I
  3870. couldn’t quite make it out. Everything was so cold, I was sinking into a
  3871. pool of ice water, and when the sharp edge of metal was placed against the
  3872. base of my horn, it exploded.
  3873.  
  3874.         This was not a dream, I was sinking in that pool of liquid
  3875. darkness for real this time. The harsh presence of metal didn’t exist. I
  3876. heard a clattering sound. My cuffs and the chain around my neck clattered
  3877. to the ground uselessly. They had nothing to hold onto anymore, I was
  3878. insubstantial, just a cloud of dark night air.
  3879.  
  3880.         Just a nightmare.
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