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- Somewhere Over the Moon
- by tepidGnostic
- --------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Prologue
- It had been a very long time since I last had a nightmare. So long that I
- would not even remember it if I did not go out of my way to recount my
- failures, they are many, but worthy of remembrance. More than any pony in
- Equestria I can rightfully claim that I have never made the same mistake
- twice. I paused and reflected with some annoyance that this has not
- stopped me from making all new ones.
- Walking through dreams is a complicated affair, but one I had grown
- accustomed to. They say in order to perfect an art one must invest at
- least 10,000 hours. I have invested quite a bit more in my nightly charge.
- Even so, no amount of familiarity could prepare me for what happened next.
- Sleepers are like little worlds, but they are rarely isolated. Threads
- connect us to the ponies we love, and indeed the ponies we hate. Finding
- yourself in Pinkie Pie’s dreams is a simple endeavor. I often found myself
- there quite by accident, much to my chagrin. I did not have many of these
- connections at all. So you can imagine how I felt when the two closest to
- me were severed, one at a time.
- My teacher, my other half, my big sister. Just like that, she was gone,
- and tremors shook the dreamlands as my heart shattered. I curled up on the
- soft grass of some nameless landscape and tried to recover, but fate would
- not offer me any respite. My first real friend since becoming a nightmare
- myself, she was gone too. I felt something very vague, and undefined. This
- was betrayal, but I knew not of what sort.
- I pressed a hoof firmly against my chest and struggled for a breath that
- should not have been necessary, and yet...
- Tears started to pour down my face, matting the fur and falling to the
- ground with a steady tapping sound that seemed to send echoes through the
- world around me. I had failed again, everypony dreaming that night would
- no doubt feel the echoes of their ruler’s despair. Such weakness is... it
- is unseemly.
- But what did they matter, anyway? Celestia and Twilight Sparkle were gone.
- I had never been more sure of anything before in my life. Even in this
- state of heartache, my past betrayed me. You finally got your wish it
- said, do you not remember when you longed for this day? Now you are truly
- alone, and nopony will be there to stop you from doing whatever pleases
- you.
- It’s the final straw. I did not know myself then, so how can I know myself
- now? How can I ever know myself again without Sister to show me? Without
- Twilight to guide me? I lowered my head to the ground and shielded my face
- with a wing, listening to the soft metronome of too loud and definite tear
- drops splashing to the ground.
- Drip.
- Drip.
- I blinked, and the cruel solidity of my chambers begins to crowd my
- beleaguered vision. “How long did I sleep for?” I grumbled as the soft
- glare of sunlight managed to bore it’s way into my mind like a railroad
- spike. I have delicate eyes.
- A steady drip of soda pop fell down from the distant ceiling and splashed
- against my ear, which I flicked with irritation.
- “Oh don’t worry, you slept through the entire night! Just like a wittle
- filly...” That sardonic tone barely required a thought to be placed. "I've
- actually been trying to wake you up for hours. Screaming in your face
- didn't work, mooning you didn't work, It's always the little things that
- annoy us enough to force a response." He snapped his fingers and the
- dripping stopped.
- “Discord... I am not in the mood for your games.”
- “And why not? You didn’t sleep well? The princess of dreams didn’t have
- any nightmares did she? That would be such a shame...”
- I finally rose from my cushion, a suitable replacement for a cloud in the
- heavens, and looked around for my persistent tormenter. “If I did, it
- would be no concern of yours! I...” I stop short and finally begin to
- remember the events from before I awoke. “Discord... Where is my sister,
- and where is Princess Twilight Sparkle?”
- “You know some ponies don’t really like watching trains, but I find it
- really fascinating to watch them switch tracks.” His serpentine likeness
- was only just visible in the corner of my room. Damn glare, the sun can be
- such a nuisance.
- “Where. Is. My. Sister!?” My sister and... colleague, had encouraged me to
- avoid such acts of intimidation, and had claimed that it was a sign of
- wisdom and restraint to avoid that particular voice amplification spell. I
- was far beyond playing games with a spirit of chaos, however.
- Discord reached up with one clawed hand and dug around furiously in his
- ears before removing a comically large fragment of brimstone. “She’s gone,
- your little friend is too.” His sneer was awful, just like old times.
- “You’re all alone, Luna.”
- “It... It cannot be so!” My terror was impossible to restrain. “Tell me
- where they are immediately! Or I’ll-”
- “Or you’ll whatt? Poke around in my dreams and keep me from getting a
- decent night’s sleep? You haven’t been relevant for just over 1,000 years
- now. The only thing that ever gave you strength was your sister, and I
- didn’t even need to get involved. You threw that away all on your own,
- didn’t you?”
- With a wail of rage I leapt from the ground and soared at my offender. I
- was so stupid. Had I not made that mistake the first time we confronted
- each other, all those centuries ago? So much for my perfect record on
- repeat offenses. Of course he vanished in a puff of smoke, and of course
- that damnable snapping of digits echoed through my chamber not a second
- later. Chains of liquorice wrapped around my figure and pulled taut,
- slamming me into the ground.
- “Tsk Tsk... You know, I was going to let you be my understudy. Nightmare
- Moon wasn’t all that bad, at least you had ‘some’ style back then. You
- weren’t entirely without flare, but that said I can’t say I find your
- present demeanor agreeable. Besides, eternal night is not nearly chaotic
- enough to suit my interests. I don’t think I’m going to let you set one
- hoof on this stage now.”
- “I will never forgive you for this!” I struggled uselessly against my
- imprisonment. Even magic did not avail me, as the bonds merely absorbed
- any magical interference before growing in size. It was starting to get
- quite painful.
- “Oh come on, like I’ve never heard that line before.” He snapped his
- fingers and I found myself face to face with the villain. “See Lovely
- Lulu, there’s a reason why you’re destined for irrelevancy, you’re just
- not that creative.”
- I admit that despite my rage, it hurt to hear such a critique of my
- character. It hurt even worse because it was coming from him. He had
- betrayed me, betrayed my sister, betrayed Twilight... I hadn’t even been
- involved in one step of the dance.
- “Now take me for example, I can get very creative. I just love
- improvising!” He coughed loudly and dramatically. “By way of example!”
- For Five Score! Divided by Four!
- Your Memories Removed! Your Body Confused!
- He halted his chant, the dark aura of chaotic energy swirling around him
- seemed to recede a bit. He coughed again to clear his throat and pulled a
- script from the air behind him, a pair of reading glasses materialized on
- his loathsome snout.
- “Blah Blah Blah, Insolence, Blah Blah Blah Far Away Land... Ah! Here we
- are!”
- Your inhibitions unchecked, your sanity wrecked!
- A lifetime of irrelevancy is sure to be a bore!
- But you have to admit! It’s better than the moon!
- I smiled and gloated, or at least as much as one can while bound in
- crushing candy chains. “Thou thinkest that thy curse will hold true? The
- ending does not even rhyme!”
- Much to my alarm, the receding chaos stormed toward me. This wasn't the
- trickster magic I was accustomed to. This wasn't cotton candy, chocolate
- milk, and bamboozled stallions. This was darkness. I shuddered because
- what it really reminded me of was myself, the way I had been one thousand
- years ago.
- The last thing I see are his sickly yellow eyes and furious sneer. “Since
- when did Chaos ever need to rhyme?”
- --------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Nothing to Write Home About
- What a way to close off another year, to think I’d be forced to
- run back home with my tail between my legs. Things were not supposed to be
- like this. I grunted and tossed my bag of clothing into the trunk of my
- ex-roommate’s car. Seven months ago I had abandoned the state where I had
- grown up, in favor of a new life. I was looking for somewhere to be
- myself, somewhere I could finally settle down and succeed. I didn’t end up
- finding any of those things, unfortunately. I bounced around between
- friends and at one point or another found myself experiencing almost every
- region in the country.
- Work was hard to find, and even when I did find it, it was as
- though fate conspired to keep me hapless. I didn’t even want to think
- about how I lost my last job. That was just... Okay, I can’t blame
- everything on destiny. I was pretty much asking for it that time.
- Seriously, what in the seven circles of hell was I thinking?
- “You’re sure you’re going to be alright?” Josh asked as he climbed
- into his vehicle.
- I climbed into the passenger’s seat beside him and scowled. “Does
- it really matter?”
- Josh let out a sigh. He shifted the car into gear and slowly
- exited the parking lot. “Just because I can’t be the one to help you
- doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. You’re a good person, and I can’t
- think of anyone who deserves to have a happy life more than you do.”
- “Yeah well, what we deserve doesn’t really matter.” I muttered
- with an expression dark enough to give thunderheads pause.
- “You’d get more jobs if you weren’t so dramatic.” Josh couldn’t
- help but glance at me, even while driving. His lips curled into a pained
- smile. “So, getting back to my earlier quest-”
- “I’m sure I’ll be fine. My family is cruel but I don’t think
- they'd want me on the streets.”
- The suburbs of Madison Wisconsin were as silent as we were for the
- rest of the trip. Everyone was still inside. It had been a long winter,
- and it was as though people refused to believe it was finally spring.
- Every so often Josh would speak up, as though he were about to start some
- topic to make things less awkward. A noncommittal grunt was all it took to
- shut him up.
- We finally reached the express terminal, and after beating the bus
- driver to death with his own shoes, Ozzy went on to play a great show.
- Sarcasm aside, this affair was pretty dull and uneventful as well. He
- pulled my bag out of the car for me and handed it over like a ‘true host’,
- and insisted he wait with me for the bus.
- “That’s really not going to be necessary, Josh.” I waved him off
- with an irritated sigh. He was always so clingy around me. I guess he’s
- one of those people with ‘a calling to serve others’ or some such thing.
- It made me wonder why he was allowing me to leave at all, but he claimed
- it was ‘for my own good’, that in order to learn and grow I needed to be
- somewhere else. Good riddance, as far as I was concerned. The guy was
- insufferable. What happened next only served to prove my point.
- He deftly grabbed my outstretched hand and kissed it. The position forcing
- him into a slight bow. “Safe travels then, my princess.”
- I blushed so hard that I swore my limbs were going numb with blood
- deprivation. I looked around wildly and noticed a few less than savory
- folks snickering at me. “Josh!” I yelled all too loudly. “What the hell
- are you doing?!” I finally regained my senses and yanked my hand back. I
- was breathing hard, my shoulders rising and falling with the effort.
- Josh, that bastard, he just smiled at me and winked. Then he turned
- around, hopped into his car, and sped off.
- “What the hell was that about?!” I growled into the cold evening air. A
- few individuals who hadn’t been looking at me before had joined their
- fellows. I flinched, I hadn’t meant for my voice to be that loud, or to
- carry that far.
- I pulled a massive pair of headphones from around my neck and slipped them
- over my ears before retreating to a safe distance. The gentle sounds of
- saxophone music and rain calmed my tired nerves, and I struggled to get my
- heart rate under control.
- ‘It’s too much.’ I thought bitterly. I should really see a therapist or
- shrink or something, get on some medicine, because getting myself under
- control is not getting any easier. I glanced back over at the crowd of
- people. Some of them were laughing amongst themselves, and although I
- wasn’t lacking in clarity—I knew that they could be laughing at some
- ridiculous picture on their smart phones—I was equally certain that what
- they were laughing at was me.
- I frowned and skipped to the next song, hoping it would do a better job of
- calming me down. Waiting for the bus wasn’t helping my nerves either. The
- city didn’t even have a proper greyhound terminal, and catching the bus
- required sitting in an open air transfer point where local buses met.
- Every minute that passed by my heart beat a little faster. ‘What if the
- driver had an accident? What if I’m at the wrong transfer point?’ I
- reached into the pocket of my cheap black jacket and felt around for my
- tickets before inspecting my pants pockets. A faint wave of relief washed
- over me when I finally found them, but it was like a drop in the ocean in
- the long run.
- 04:45 PM 04/29 Madison(e) to Chicago
- There was quite a bit more information beneath that, but honestly it was
- all Greek to me. Just a bunch of gate numbers and codes relevant to some
- employee with a computer. So I was at least there at the appropriate time,
- but that didn’t do anything to reassure me regarding location. I leaned
- back against the plastic cage I had placed myself in and rest my eyes.
- ‘You double checked before leaving. You triple checked. Just calm down.’
- The bus must have pulled up while I was battling my inner demons,
- because when I opened my eyes it was parked by the curb across the street.
- With a panicked yelp I rushed over, bag of clothing in tow. I felt pretty
- self conscious struggling with my bag. Once again I fought to rationalize
- my actions. I was pretty sure the bus was going to be there for 15 minutes
- so everyone could have a smoke, but that didn’t stop me from fleeing like
- it would leave just as I stepped in front of the doors. Then everyone on
- the bus could laugh at me, just like the people with the phones had.
- I handed my ticket to the bus driver just as he was lighting up a
- death stick of his own. I fought to keep my breathing under control after
- the short dash, but it was no use. The composure train had left the
- station.
- He took one look at the ticket and muttered out through pursed lips. “Eric
- Delano?”
- “That’s me.”
- He looked up at me. “Got any ID?”
- “Oh, yes! Of course!” I dropped my bag and fumbled for my wallet before
- handing it to him. I flinched at the perceived faux pas of not removing
- the card myself, but he seemed content to take it all in stride.
- “First time riding a bus like this?”
- “Uh... Yeah.” I lied through my teeth, as if that would help me save face
- at this point. First time nervousness will excuse everything, yeah right.
- He yanked open the compartment under the bus and gestured to me. “Go ahead
- and toss it in.” He said while flicking his cigarette clean of ash.
- I dutifully grabbed my bag, and after swinging it back and forth a few
- times for leverage, I released it into the compartment. The driver slammed
- it with a loud click, and I practically sprinted onto the bus while
- everyone else enjoyed their break.
- With the bus abandoned I made my way to the very back, and wondered why
- any group would fight to escape that place. It was so peaceful back here.
- Maybe it was just the principle of the matter? I opened my messenger bag
- and began shuffling through it like the over sized purse that it was. With
- a bit of effort I wrestled my laptop free and plugged it into the
- conveniently provided power outlet. No internet yet, that would have to
- wait until the driver started the bus. I closed the lid to my laptop and
- kicked back along the three seats lining the back wall of the bus.
- Not much longer after that, people began to re-board the bus. My heart
- started beating again as I began speculating as to who amongst them would
- do battle with me over the coveted sleeping roost. Would it be the obvious
- tweakers behind door number one? Or what about the rock hard ex-con behind
- door number two? Amusingly enough, they both took seats toward the front
- of the bus and began discussing, of all things, something involving rape
- countermeasures. I didn’t even bother to hear the rest of that
- conversation.
- My senses were pried from introspection when a boy about my age prowled
- down the aisle and towered over me. I sat up, evacuating my position of
- vulnerability.
- “Sorry to disturb you, but I was back here before everyone got off the
- bus.” He pulled his bag from the overhead to prove his point.
- “Oh, sorry about that...” I mumbled, the colour was starting to rise in my
- cheeks. “I’ll just find somewhere else to sit.”
- “No need!” He said as he swung himself down into the chair nearest the
- aisle, cutting off my escape. He placed his bag on his lap and started
- digging through it, removing a few pieces of candy and popping them into
- his mouth merrily. “We can sit together! Share the road!”
- Oh joy of joys. Maybe I can ditch him at the next transfer point. Another
- distant voice rang out in my head. I could always just get up and leave.
- ‘You don’t need to stay here just because he told you to.’ But something
- in the way he carried himself just made me want to do exactly as I was
- told. I opened my laptop and turned myself awkwardly so that he couldn’t
- see what I was doing.
- “So where are you headed?” My companion said in a perfectly friendly and
- socially reasonable tone.
- “San Diego...” I responded as was expected of me. That I could have lied
- did not even occur to me. I was not a very good liar. “What about you?”
- “I’m heading to LA! Guess that means we’ll be traveling together for the
- next two days!”
- ‘Dear Odin, I would ask you for help but you’ve clearly saw fit to screw
- me already. I hope you get god-cancer, the end.’
- The bus hummed to life and my precious internet signal was delivered unto
- me. I recoiled in on myself like the frightened creature I was and set to
- work ignoring my shiny new friend. We were halfway to Chicago before he
- spoke to me again.
- “You looking at porn or something?”
- “. . . No?” I couldn’t even begin to isolate my loathing from my voice. I
- don’t believe I even tried.
- “Let me take a look.” He leaned over the seat and snuck a peek at a
- conversation I was having with my friend Josh.
- A well drawn OC for one of Luna’s Night Guard was the only attention
- grabbing detail on the screen. Josh prefered the term ‘Thestral’, and
- didn’t seem to care that Thestrals were pretty soundly the intellectual
- property of some British fantasy author. I quickly minimized the portion
- of Skype that displayed profile images and cursed myself silently.
- “Do you mind? I’m trying to have a private conversation with one of my
- friends!” I growled at him and somehow found a way to shift even further
- away.
- There was an awkward silence, but I was grateful that he seemed to
- understand he had overstepped his bounds. He stared straight ahead for a
- while before speaking again. “So you’re into My Little Pony then? Twilight
- Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, stuff like that?”
- “My friend is, I’m not. Why? Are you a Brony or something?”
- “Not really, I have a daughter, and she’s really into it. If I don’t know
- how to hold a conversation with her about it she gets really upset.”
- “That series ended like five years ago. Why would your daughter care about
- it?”
- He shrugged his shoulders and took a candy bar from his bag. “Reruns.”
- Josh sent me another message that urgently demanded my attention. I
- replied with frantic keystrokes.
- Wintermute: Can’t talk now, really nosy asshole sitting next to me.
- Nightwatch: You should really watch your language princess!
- Wintermute: Why the hell do you keep calling me that? Is this some kind of
- inside joke?
- Nightwatch: It’s not really a joke.
- Nightwatch: Well, maybe a little.
- Nightwatch: In your time staying here I’ve just realized that there is a
- lot more to you than most give you credit for. You can be a bit...
- difficult to deal with, but I get the impression that you’re someone worth
- protecting, and dare I say it, respecting!
- Wintermute: Okay. So why the hell aren't I a prince, or better yet, a
- king?
- Nightwatch: A delicate flower like you? Please.
- Wintermute: . . .
- Wintermute: Your first born is mine. I am going to cut them into pieces
- and sacrifice each bit to every Eldritch Abomination I can think of, and a
- few that I can’t.
- Nightwatch: See? This is what I am talking about: Delicate. Flower.
- Nightwatch: That and my birthday is coming up, I’ve never really cared
- about that in the past (I mean except the big 21, but come on :3) but I
- dunno, for some reason I’m feeling really excited!
- Wintermute: When’s your birthday again?
- Nightwatch: May 1st! The day before yours!
- Wintermute: Well, now I feel like a jerk.
- Nightwatch: Why is that?
- Wintermute: I can’t exactly get you anything this year, and as much as you
- irritate me sometimes, you’ve done a lot for me and I dunno...
- Nightwatch: That’s okay! I’m not getting you anything either!
- Nightwatch: Getting me nothing will be my birthday gift to you.
- Nightwatch: Didn’t you say you couldn’t talk?
- Josh didn’t need to tell me twice. I closed my laptop and tucked it under
- the seat in front of me. I struggled to get comfortable in vain, and I
- guess my travel buddy was feeling it too, because he started talking
- again.
- “I’m James, by the way.”
- “Eric.”
- “So why don’t you like the show, out of curiosity?”
- I really wasn’t happy with where this conversation was going. my
- relationship with Friendship is Magic was Fire and Ice. I hated it, I
- loved it, I loved to hate it. My friends were almost entirely bronies to
- this day, and they described me as ‘Tsundere for MLP’.
- “A lot of the stuff it seems to preach, like the importance of friendship,
- or the struggle between harmony and chaos, are things that I believed in
- to begin with. I’ve never really felt at peace with my family, so friends
- were far more important to me. I never really believed in gods, because
- they never answered when I talked to them.” I paused and wished
- desperately for something to drink.
- James seemed to have a sense for such things, because he held out a bottle
- of water and asked with a smile. “Thirsty?”
- I stared at the bottle quietly, debating whether or not to accept
- something from a stranger. Thirst won out and I broke the seal before
- taking a sip.
- “You can keep it, I’ve got more.” He gestured to continue. “You were
- saying something about gods?”
- “Gods are almost always jerks, anyway. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think
- there’s something out there, something higher than me. I guess if I had to
- put a name to it, I would call it Harmony.” I took a much larger sip, my
- mouth was starting to get dry from all the explaining. “So here comes this
- show that takes all these nebulous feelings I had, and then parades them
- around with all the seriousness of a children’s show. It even had real
- gods, the way gods should be. Except they’re not, they’re ‘just
- princesses’. It was like they served their people, instead of the people
- just worshipping them. The whole thing felt vaguely insulting, like it was
- picking at old wounds.” I paused, I had really gotten into this
- explanation. Where did all this come from? “And the series finale was
- absolutely disgusting.”
- He raised an eyebrow at that. “Really? How so?”
- I turn to get a good look at him, for the first time actually paying
- attention to the little details. He was a bit unkempt. His brown hair was
- beyond taming, and the whites of his eyes had a slight yellow tinge that
- sort of grossed me out. I tried to remember what illness would cause that,
- but was drawing a blank. Jaundice, maybe?
- “I don’t really want to talk about it, it was just messed up, especially
- for a children’s show.”
- He hummed thoughtfully and twiddled his thumbs. “Fascinating.”
- “Quite.” I muttered with a hint of sarcasm.
- We spent the rest of the ride to Chicago locked in another one of our
- awkward silences. When the driver announced our stop and pulled in, I was
- understandably in a hurry to get off that bus and far away from him.
- James, however, took his sweet time getting up and gathering his things.
- Before moving down the aisle he turned toward me and held out his hand.
- “See you on the next bus, my good friend.” His smile was from ear to ear.
- I’m not sure what I was thinking. I wasn’t thinking, I couldn’t have been
- thinking. I took his hand in mine and shook it, and smiled right back.
- “Yeah, see you then.”
- The layover at the Chicago terminal was an hour long, and the sun had long
- since set when we started boarding. I hesitated while handing my bag to
- one of the workers and stared up at the sky. Too cloudy to see anything, I
- reflected that I hadn’t really seen the moon or stars since moving to
- Wisconsin. Broken English snapped me out of my revery and I handed off my
- bag before climbing up onto the bus and making for the back. James was not
- on yet, but I was certain he would be on not long after me. Instead of
- taking the very back like last time, I say one row ahead, and took an
- aisle seat. In a show of uncharacteristic assertiveness, I even placed my
- messenger bag on the window seat. Thus did I broadcast to the world my
- desire to remain undisturbed.
- ‘I AM A CREATURE OF SOLITUDE’ That is what my display was code for.
- Sure enough, James was in the next group of people to board the bus. He
- smiled when he saw me, but that expression of joy soured quickly when he
- saw where I had chosen to sit. He didn’t say anything as he slipped into
- the very back, and I placed my headphones over my ears in any case. After
- the bus got started I curled up over the span of my two seats and stared
- out at the murky Chicago night. It was beautiful in it’s own way, though
- the pollution being pumped out combined with the street lights to give the
- air a diseased yellow colour. I immediately thought of James’s eyes and
- shuddered before propping my head just under the window.
- Falling asleep certainly took a while. The bus was bouncing up and down,
- and that coupled with my inability to see where we were going from this
- angle was giving me a mild case of motion sickness. Eventually I started
- to nod off, the music from my headphones lured me to sleep and drowned out
- the disrespectful jerks who didn’t seem to think the driver’s requests to
- remain quiet during nighttime trips applied to them.
- Sometimes while in the process of nodding off, I’d stare out through the
- cracks in the seats to the row behind me, and I’d see James sitting there
- with his arms crossed. He never took his eyes off the row of chairs in
- front of him.
- I didn’t like his expression, not even a little.
- This had to be a dream. It just had to be, because the air was colourful
- in a way that stretched my imagination and yet seemed all too familiar.
- Also, my sister was a horse.
- I want to cry out to her. To tell her for the umpteenth time not to trust
- that... that thing beside her. Together they battle something far larger
- than either of them. The notion of something larger than the forces of
- harmony and chaos makes me want to quiver in a corner like a little filly,
- and I am ashamed. I am ashamed because part of me is glad that I am not
- there. My big sister will take care of this, my big sister always does.
- Except she doesn’t take care of things. Not this time. The creature
- smashes her down from the heavens and into the dirt, and her new friend
- banishes the creature back to the pit below with a snap of his fingers.
- Moon and stars, he’s stronger than I remember him. How could he have
- become so? In a puff of condescending smoke, he is beside my sister. She
- begs him, pleads for help, but I think in this moment even she knows what
- is going to happen next. He dances around, all wit and cunning, and with a
- great flourish of drama kicks my sister down into the molten rock below.
- Setting switches with the abrupt subtlety characteristic of dreams, and we
- are in a castle. My friend... Twilight Sparkle is there. I feel so
- ridiculous calling this creature my friend, but why? The spirit of chaos
- arrives, and already he begins filling her head with lies. She trusts him.
- It isn’t fair. She is so young, her coronation wasn’t even a decade ago
- and already she was having it stripped from her. She doesn’t realize what
- is happening until the curse is long since begun, and then she’s gone. The
- spirit disappears, and I’m left alone.
- I stay there for some time, drowning in the silence, and then his voice
- starts to drift up through the dream.
- “Why are you getting so worked up Lulu? It’s just a cartoon for little
- girls!”
- I woke up with a start, and earned the attention of the people sitting
- across from me for my trouble. I turned my head and squinted out the
- window. For once it seemed like I got a decent sleep while on the bus,
- because the sun was up. We must be pretty close to St. Louis at this
- point. I took my headphones off and placed them around my neck, and was
- greeted by a crunching sound from the row behind me. My stomach started to
- rumble and I couldn’t help but sneak a peek.
- James had removed a large green Ziploc from his bag, and it was filled to
- the brim with cucumber slices with the skins still on them. Just the way
- that I liked them. He smiled the same way he always smiles. He took
- another bite of his slice and finished it before making his next move.
- “You want some?” He held out the bag. “We can always share them. You’d
- have to come back here though. I don’t really feel like leaning forward
- with the bag every time you need to grab one.”
- I wrestled with the invitation before reaching a conclusion. I did
- have some money left, but my reserves were low enough that any dollar I
- had was very valuable, and worth conserving. I swung myself from my seat
- using the momentum of the bus to help me along and collapsed into the
- chair next to him. “Yeah... Yeah I do...”
- He held the bag open for me and I reached inside.
- “Take as many as you’d like!”
- I swallowed at the blank check being offered to me and fought to
- restrain my hunger impulses, or I was likely to take off with the whole
- bag. ‘Why must my body be a furnace?!’ Erring on the side of humility I
- took two. This was not nearly enough to fill me, but god did it make me
- feel better. Each one had a slight coat of dew-like moisture, and yet had
- managed to avoid becoming soggy. They were more delicious than any
- cucumbers I have ever had, and in that moment I probably would have
- christened them the greatest food stuffs I had ever consumed.
- We danced around the issue of the food for a few minutes, him
- trying to make idle chatter and me trying to avoid the fact that I
- desperately wanted more. I’ll never understand other people. How the hell
- can they just sit there like that with a perfectly decent meal? If they
- weren’t hungry, why were they eating? If they were hungry, why isn’t it
- gone yet? After a few more glances at the big bag of cucumbers that he was
- for the most part ignoring, James smiled upon me once more and said “Do
- you want the rest of them? I’m not actually very hungry.”
- I snatched the bag with speed and a lack of grace that was
- borderline rude. James’s face lit up with amusement and he removed a
- bottle of cola from his bottomless bag of goodies.
- “Guess you really were hungry. How do they taste?”
- “Oh my god they are so amazing...” I managed to blurt out between
- slices of cucumber.
- This garnered a chuckle, and he leaned over and patted me on the
- shoulder. “Good. Hey, do you smoke?” He pulled a medium sized object from
- a charger and presented it to me. It was one of those electronic
- cigarettes, but in the shape of an ornate pipe.
- I’ve never really experienced peer pressure growing up, I
- accomplished this by not having peers. Everyone always felt so... beneath
- me, in grade school. High school had it’s own distractions. So suffice it
- to say I wasn’t prepared for the feeling of guilt that welled up inside me
- when I even thought of turning down this guy’s gifts. He had been so
- polite and generous to me, hadn’t he? Wouldn’t it be rude for me to deny
- him, after all he had been through to become my friend?
- “I... Don’t.” I finally stammered.
- James smiled. “Suit yourself!” He raised the pipe to his mouth and
- inhaled deeply, puffs of water vapor streaming from his nostrils. The air
- was filled with the smells of vanilla, blueberries, and something else I
- couldn’t quite put my finger on. It was intoxicating just via contact, and
- I was really starting to regret my decision, but I was never one to
- reverse my position, at least not this quickly.
- While James continued to inhale from his majestic pipe, I decided
- I would compensate myself by inhaling what was left of my cucumbers. It
- didn’t take long, and once I started balling up the bag he reached over
- and clapped me on the back.
- “You eat like a horse, did you know that?” He laughed like this
- observation was somehow hilarious. All I could think about was how the
- uncomfortably friendly individual was touching me again.
- My heart rate was starting to peak by the time the bus pulled into it’s
- stop, and we were all ordered off the bus so that it might be cleaned and
- refueled. With the gift of my aisle seat, I took off in a flash, and
- nearly forgot my messenger bag in the process. The terminal in St. Louis
- was large enough for me to hide from James for the whole hour we were
- stuck there.
- I decided that even after the bag of cucumbers, I was still
- starving. In retrospect they hadn’t been very filling at all. So I wasted
- some of my money on an incredibly over priced miniature pizza from the
- building’s food court, and quickly isolated myself to a corner before
- eating it. I nearly panicked and bolted from my position when I saw James
- round the corner, but he wasn’t looking for me. He was talking to three
- other people that looked to be about the same age as us. They were smiling
- and laughing and apparently having a good time in general. This suited me
- just fine, keep the bastard distracted while I relax and get some
- real food in me.
- I finished my snack and made for the line forming to re-board the
- bus. By the time I got there it was already overflowing, and I was
- starting to get worried that there wouldn’t be room for everyone. That
- might not be so bad... actually, the next bus might not have James on it.
- Who was I kidding? If I got bumped to another bus, I had every
- reason to believe my stalker would be there waiting for me. He’d just have
- to concede that there wasn’t room for him either. I took the last place in
- line and began to fidget anxiously. I could see those three people that
- James had been speaking with before, they were near the front of the line.
- Every so often one or two would run outside to smoke a cigarette, with the
- girl holding their place in line. I grit my teeth and tried not to make a
- big deal about the situation. If they left the line then they should go to
- the back of the line! What is even the point of having a line otherwise?
- “Hello again!” James called enthusiastically as he walked by me.
- His hand darted out like he was trying to make me flinch, just like my
- brothers used to always do.
- What really rendered me shell-shocked is what he had actually
- ended up doing. He did not slug me, he didn’t even clap me on the
- shoulder. He reached out for my chest and pinched me. Right through my
- shirt, where my nipple would be. I shut down immediately, trying to
- process what exactly was going on. My first thought was: ‘Did that just
- happen?’ My second thought was: ‘Am I supposed to scream rape yet?’
- In the end I had absolutely no idea what to do. I didn’t think I
- should tell anyone. It’s not like it was anything serious, they’d probably
- just laugh at me and tell me to stand up for myself if it bothered me. No,
- it was clear that the only appropriate tactic was avoidance. I flinched
- away from him and sealed my lips tightly in a look of disapproval. I
- didn’t say anything back.
- James smirked and strode confidently toward the front of the line
- where the other three were situated. “See you on the bus!” He called back
- with enthusiasm.
- ‘Please let the bus be overbooked. PLEASE let the bus be
- overbooked.’
- The bus wasn’t overbooked. Somehow they had managed to book a person for
- every seat without overbooking at all. There is no God. I was more certain
- of that then ever before. To make matters worse, every seat at the front
- of the bus was taken. James and his motley crew had already set up shop in
- the back, and that is where the last remaining seat was.
- It was going to be a long ride to Las Vegas.
- Sitting next to James was a very awkward experience. It was like
- nothing had ever happened at the terminal, and honestly I was starting to
- wonder if anything had happened.
- The three people he was hanging out with were on their way to
- Vegas. They seemed nice enough, although they weren’t really in my social
- caste, not that I belonged to such a thing. There names were Caleb,
- Chelsie, and... Honestly, I never got the last one’s name. He was an odd
- kid that everyone seemed to pick on. He seemed to take it in stride
- though. It was like he had taken so many drugs that he was just
- permanently happy and oblivious. He wore a hat that was in the likeness of
- that green platypus character from some old Disney show, and the ear flaps
- were comically large and reached down to his waist.
- The four of them took turns with James’s pipe, and eventually they
- even managed to talk me into giving it a try. The flavors were much more
- intense than I had anticipated, and I choked the first time. The rest of
- the group smiled and laughed, like they had initiated me into the higher
- mysteries. I did feel sorta different after the first time, but the
- cartridge they were using must have had a bit of nicotine in it. Something
- like that would account for such a thing.
- The ride to Denver was long and cramped, and with everyone so up
- in each other’s business, I couldn’t speak to any of my friends online. My
- real friends, I reminded myself. They wouldn’t make me feel uncomfortable
- like this, so out of my element. But then, maybe it is a good thing to be
- out of your element every once in awhile?
- When we got to Denver we lost a majority of the passengers and acquired a
- couple dozen more. Everyone was much more spaced out and I used that
- opportunity to move closer to the front. James didn’t really seem to like
- this idea much, but I told him I needed to get some sleep, and he accepted
- that. It was a bit difficult to get any shut eye with those four partying
- constantly. James had made full use of his never ending bag of treats.
- Things were much quieter and relaxed up front, but unfortunately
- after switching buses in Denver, we no longer had access to Internet, so
- once again I was cut off from the outside world. I managed to get some
- shut eye early on, and when I woke up we were quite a distance from the
- city. The sun was high enough for it to be early morning, and the bus was
- surrounded on all sides by green hills. It was a pretty peaceful setting.
- Then we entered a tunnel, and what happened next was like visiting
- Narnia or something.
- The tunnel seemed to go on forever, and a few of the people near me were
- starting to panic. In the row of seats just in front of me, a little girl
- stared at the wall as it whizzed past us with a look of spiritual awe, and
- my expression wasn’t much different once we exited the other side.
- The green hills were gone, and were replaced with massive coniferous trees
- capped with snow. Everything was covered with snow. I was awestruck at the
- idea that anything could still be blanketed in the white stuff this close
- to May. It was like I had been transported to another world.
- Then I got a good look at the mountains. I had thought I had seen
- mountains growing up in California, but that didn’t even compare to these.
- These mountains struck a chord deep in my soul, and soared into the air
- before being obscured by clouds. A few of them even looked like massive
- towers with turrets of stone jutting into the sky. I wanted to know why no
- one had built any monasteries on them, or castles. A castle on top of one
- of these mountains would be good. Surely we had the technology for such
- things now.
- I shook my head to clear the idea. “Castle on a mountain eh? Very original
- Eric.” I curled up on the seats and stared up through the window to watch
- the mountains as they passed.
- Apparently my show of wonder didn’t go unnoticed, and the little girl from
- in front had taken an interest in me, deciding she had stumbled upon a
- kindred spirit. She would occasionally poke her head over the seat and
- stare at me when she thought I wasn’t looking, before darting back down
- when she felt I had seen her.
- I must have been feeling pretty silly and energetic after passing by the
- mountains, because I actually played along. After awhile it turned into a
- game of who could make the silliest face. In actuality, it was more like
- me making faces and her mimicking them, but laughing first and letting her
- win seemed the sporting thing to do.
- Her parents weren’t very far away, but they seemed okay with us
- interacting. Normally parents are terrified of me being near their kids,
- like I’m some kind of pedophile if I allow myself to be within five feet
- of their larval offspring. I chalked it up to her being hyper, the trip
- being long and crowded, and them being exhausted.
- Eventually I started fiddling around with my laptop and she hopped into
- the seat next to me.
- “My name is Sarah.” She spoke, her voice revealing the same unease I felt
- when talking to strangers.
- “I’m Eric.” I replied quietly, as though afraid I’d scare her away like a
- flock of birds.
- “Where are you going?” She tilted her head. I got the impression she was
- worried that I’d get irritated with her for asking so many questions. I
- tried to consider how Chelsie or Caleb might respond, and suddenly Her
- fears didn’t seem too unfounded.
- “San Diego.”
- “Is that where you want to go?”
- That follow up caught me completely off-guard. “No... Not really.”
- “So then, where do you want to go?”
- “I dunno. Home, I guess.”
- “Your home isn’t in San Diego?”
- I scoffed at the idea. “No, definitely not.”
- “So then where is it?”
- I closed my laptop and started putting it away. “I guess that’s what I’m
- trying to figure out.”
- She nodded. That answer seemed to finally satisfy her stream of inquiry.
- That just made things awkward as she sat there trying to come up with a
- reason for her to be there.
- “Where do you want to go?” I attempted to ease the tension.
- “It doesn’t really matter where I want to go.” She crossed her arms and
- sulked at her parents. “It only matters where they want to go.”
- I couldn’t help but laugh at the pint-sized display of anger. That seemed
- to wound her a bit, but I pressed on. “So when you’re an adult, where do
- you want to go?”
- Her little blue eyes lit up and she practically jumped from her seat.
- “Appleloosa!”
- I blinked, it couldn’t be. She must be talking about the horse club or
- something, this trip was already way too uncanny. “Come again?”
- “You know, Appleloosa?” She stared at me like I was mentally handicapped.
- “It’s in the south?”
- It’s a bit late in the day to be crushing a kid’s hopes, so why the hay
- not. She can visit Appleloosa when she’s all grown up.
- “Of course! Right. I knew that, I just thought you were talking about some
- other town, that’s all.”
- The two of us sat there, and the silence was even more awkward than
- before. She looked like she was about to speak several times. Her mouth
- would open and close like a fish trying to breath water on land. Finally
- she slipped off the chair and went back to her seat in the row in front of
- me. I couldn’t help but feel like some profound failure at dealing with
- little kids.
- We passed into Utah, and the sun started to make it descent toward the
- horizon. It was amazing how empty this country is. I reflected on how it
- took riding a bus to really appreciate that truth. I wouldn’t want to live
- here in a time before cars. Not that I’d ever actually owned one myself.
- I curled up on my two seats and started to drift off, and every so often
- Sarah would peek at me through the cracks in her seats. As long as it
- wasn’t James, I could stand the invasion of privacy.
- A few dreamless hours of sleep later I awoke to a desert landscape and a
- night sky littered with stars. It was hard to see them through the bus’s
- light pollution, but they were there. Part of me wanted to order the
- driver to stop so I could run off into the desert, find a cave somewhere,
- and sleep next to some roaring fire that I would magic up with my
- absolutely pathetic survival skills.
- Sarah was peeking her head over the top of her seat again, and she yelped
- when she saw that I was awake.
- “I’m not going to gobble you up or anything, if that’s what you’re afraid
- of.”
- She poked her head back over the side with a huge smile on her face, like
- what I had just said was hilarious and proved everything at the same time.
- “Hello again.” She stated with a sense of pride, like she found some
- ancient treasure and was about to present it to the world.
- “Hi.”
- Her smile was tarnished by an expression of uncertainty, and she glanced
- around nervously before continuing. “Uhm... I just wanted to say that your
- sister is still out there. I just know it!”
- I tilted my head, part of me wondered if I wasn’t still sleeping, but then
- I remembered I had an uncanny awareness for such things. “I don’t have a
- sister.”
- Sarah looked mortified by what I had just said. It was like she had been
- my sister, and I had just openly denounced her. “But you do! You do have a
- sister! She hasn’t given up on you, so you can’t give up on her!”
- I squinted at her, my mouth dropping open in disbelief. “Kid, I think
- you’ve got me confused for someone else.”
- She dropped back down behind her seat, I could only just make out that she
- had crossed her arms. “Somepony,” she corrected me with a quiet snarl of
- frustration. “And you’re the one that’s confused... not me...”
- I contemplated that odd little exchange for what must have been an hour
- before drifting back to sleep. I know it’s impossible to sleep without
- dreaming, so I marked their absence as a consequence of the bus bouncing
- up and down. It would explain why I never felt rested, and why sleep just
- felt like a way to skip ahead through time, at least. The dreamless sleep
- was really starting to mess with my mind, though. I’ve always been pretty
- good at lucid dreaming, or knowing when I was asleep, but I can’t remember
- actually getting bent out of shape if I didn’t have them.
- When I woke up the sun was still down, and we were pulling into Las Vegas.
- The bus did a pretty good job of getting to the station while also making
- sure not to go anywhere near anything interesting. When we arrived, I
- waited for everyone else to get off first. I didn’t want to deal with
- people in any capacity right now, and that included dealing with traffic.
- Sarah reached down over the side of her seat and grabbed my hair with a
- sharp yank. I yelped in anger before apologizing, and then said my
- goodbyes. Her parents came over to collect her, apologized, and dragged
- her off.
- Eventually Chelsie and the other two came up and said goodbye as well,
- they practically dragged the nameless one by the collar of his shirt. I
- had no idea what they’d gotten up to back there, and I honestly didn’t
- want to know.
- I was confused at first when I didn’t see James get off the bus. It must
- have been a blessing, maybe he was locked up in the bathroom finishing a
- beer or something. I grabbed my bag and got off the bus with all due
- haste.
- Waiting in the terminal was a bit exciting. All I could think about was
- the prospect of being almost done with this terrible ordeal. I saw Sarah
- one last time as her family headed for the exit. She waved, so I waved
- back. Chelsie and Kaleb spent a few minutes arguing by the rental lockers,
- then they took off without a word. Still no sign of James.
- The sun was starting to come up by the time we started to board the bus
- for LA. I didn’t want to risk running into James in the back, so I took
- the seat immediately behind the busdriver. With the big plastic shell
- surrounding him I was a bit cramped, but I figured I’d also have the best
- access to the WiFi. If you went all the way to the back it tended to drop
- in and out constantly.
- My heart stopped when James appeared out of nowhere. He reached forward
- and pinched me, just like before, and my mind died a second death.
- “Hey! Mind if I sit here?”
- ‘YES! I ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY MIND! I WILL RIP YOU TO PIECES AND USE YOUR
- SOUL FOR FIRE WOOD YOU INSUFFERABLE DEGENERATE!’
- “S-Sure...” I think I threw up in my mouth a little.
- He took a seat and the already cramped quarters became my own special
- hell. It was almost impossible for me to open my laptop up and make use of
- it. But I made it work.
- Nightwatch: Hey! GUESS WHAT?
- Wintermute: Today is your birthday?
- Nightwatch: Tonight, specifically!
- Wintermute: Okay then.
- Wintermute: Look, I can’t really talk, there is some perverted asshole
- sitting next to me and he keeps trying to pinch my chest.
- Wintermute: And also he's a rubbernecker.
- Nightwatch: =O
- Nightwatch: Has he violated your honor?!
- Wintermute: I... What?
- Nightwatch: Give me his name and face, and he shall not see another
- sunrise!
- Wintermute: I think this is getting out of hand. Look, I already said I
- can’t talk. Warning issued. I will talk to you later, Happy Birthday.
- Nightwatch: Thanks!
- I minimized Skype and opened up a folder of videos saved on my computer.
- What decently engaging and lengthy show can I watch, that I also have no
- issues being seen to enjoy in public? I settle for old episodes of the
- Game of Thrones. Secretly I hoped this would reinstate my manhood and
- prevent the lecherous bastard sitting next to me from treating me like
- some schoolyard fill- I mean... schoolgirl. That is definitely what I
- meant to think. To myself. I am having a conversation with myself aren’t
- I?
- “Oh hey! I just started that season last week! Mind if I watch with you?
- I’ve got earbuds!” He smiles at me and holds out a dirty white iPod
- headset. I groan and remove my own, so I can at least avoid putting those
- filthy things into my ear.
- He takes one of the ear buds and places it in his ear, and I do the same
- with my end. We watch the last couple episodes of the season before things
- wind down to a close. I close the media player and let out a relieved
- sigh.
- “Welp, show’s over.”
- “Ooh! Can we watch something else now?”
- “Uh... What do you have in mind?” I have a pretty good feeling I am going
- to regret asking.
- “Ever since you mentioned that MLP Series finale, I’ve been dying to see
- it! If it’s as awful as you say I’m sure my daughter and I can bond while
- complaining about it!”
- Oh yeah, I definitely regret asking.
- “I’m really not in the mood to watch that show right now.”
- “Why? Because you’re afraid someone might see?” He grinned viciously,
- trying to egg me on. “Come on, after all that testosterone we just
- injected a little estrogen isn’t going to kill you.”
- “Really. Not. In the mood.”
- James leaned over until he was practically whispering in my ear. “I’ve
- been pretty patient with you, given you water, given you food, and shared
- my pipe with you. I’m practically your personal Jesus Christ, and the
- entire duration of this trip all you have been is distant. You’ve been a
- spoiled little princess. Not the way you respond to an offering of
- friendship.” He leaned back and smiled that bright smile. “So let’s just
- watch the stupid show, alright?”
- I meekly complied and started searching for it on Youtube. It didn’t take
- long, the video was pretty notorious, and I guess it was receiving a lot
- of hits lately, how coincidental.
- The video opened without the usual intro that would inspire me to grit my
- teeth, instead it was just dramatic music. Discord had arrived in the
- capital to inform Celestia that something terrible had escaped from the
- bowels of Tartarus. Bowels is not the sort of word I ever expected to hear
- from a show for little girls.
- Every time Celestia spoke I wanted to look away from the screen. She and
- her sister had been the only reason I had ever watched this stupid show.
- Episode one and two got me hooked, and everything that didn’t expand on
- their relationship was just filler to me.
- In light of that, it was very difficult for me to face what was going to
- happen next. Celestia wanted to assemble the elements of harmony, but now
- they were scattered so far apart. Things had been simple when Twilight was
- still a student in Ponyville. Now she was a princess in her own right,
- Rainbow Dash was a captain of the Wonderbolts, and Rarity had her own shop
- in downtown Canterlot, a district second in traffic only to the royal
- quarter. Applejack, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie at least still lived in
- Ponyville, but it would just take too much time to round up everypony
- individually.
- Celestia rushed off with Discord to seal this creature back where
- it belonged. Just a few moments and it was a done deal. With Discord’s
- help, she wouldn’t even need Luna.
- She wouldn’t even need Luna.
- She wouldn’t even need...
- Then of course the betrayal happened. Celestia was knocked down
- into the pit below. Discord arrived at Twilight’s room, zapped her to who
- knows where, and now for the worst part, the final confrontation with
- Princess...
- Wait, what? Why are the credits rolling?
- I grit my teeth together trying to figure out what the deal was.
- Was this some poorly conceived troll?
- “Well I don’t know what you’re complaining about! I think that was
- a great ending!” He clapped me on the shoulder. “It’s pretty daring, you
- know? A girl’s cartoon that ends with the bad guy winning? Maybe I
- misjudged that show.”
- I looked around at the related videos, and started digging through
- the comments. There had to be an answer. “Hold on, that’s not the whole
- episode, I think that one’s a joke. Let me find another one.”
- I tried a few versions of the episode, and each time it ended the
- same way. I did notice one thing of note, however. Some of the comments
- were just as pissed off as I was, and for the same reason! The unusual
- part being that everyone seemed to be inquiring about a missing scene over
- ponies that didn’t even seem relevant to the plot. Why the hell would
- Berry Punch have a final showdown in the series finale? She didn’t even
- have a voice role in the show.
- “Well, looks like you must have just misremembered something. It’s
- been five years, right? No biggie.” He sniffed and popped his headphones
- out of his pocket and plugged them into his ears. He flashed me a
- condescending smile and added. “Thanks for letting me watch. I know it was
- a big deal for you.”
- “... Sure, no problem.”
- The short remainder of the trip was awkward, he kept to himself
- and listened to his music, and I put my laptop away before listening to
- mine. We pulled into Los Angeles a bit later than expected, and because we
- were sitting behind the driver we were two of the first off the bus.
- I was beyond ecstatic to be away from him. That creep had been
- nothing but a nightmare ever since we’d met, delicious cucumbers be
- damned. If I saw him again I was going to bust the teeth right out of his
- smile. My heart rate was increasing, and I decided to make way for the
- bathroom. Maybe splashing some water against my face would calm me down.
- The bathroom was filthy, like most bus terminal bathrooms are, and
- there was an ethereal ambiance playing over the speakers. The water
- smelled awful, or at least, maybe the plumbing did? Regardless, the cool
- water went a long way to calm my nerves, and as added bonus no one was in
- there with me.
- Blessing became curse when I heard the door swing shut and click
- into place. My eyes started to go wide even before James rounded the
- corner, smiling that omnipresent smile.
- “Hey man! Traveling across the country like that was an
- experience! We should do it again sometime!” He came within arms reach of
- me.
- ‘Do it Eric. Punch him in the jaw, just do it!’
- I didn’t do anything, he just kept talking. “What’s your
- facebook?”
- “I don’t... I don’t use facebook?”
- “It’s 2020, and you don’t book face?”
- I slowly shook my head no, my expression was tortured like a child
- that had just been caught cleaning the toilet with his brother’s tooth
- brush. By his brother.
- “Well, you should really get my number, Luna.” He sneered at me
- and reached out with one hand, burying his gnarled fingers through my hair
- and into my scalp. I yelped in surprise and tried to pull back, but he
- held fast. “After all, I’ve got yours...”
- His yellow eyes sparkled malevolently and he just held me there,
- staring into my eyes. “Now little Lulu, I hope this whole experience
- hasn’t made you... uncomfortable. I’ve invested a lot of energy into
- making sure you don’t place a single hoof onto my stage. So things better
- stay that way. Kapeesh?”
- “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, you god-damned
- nut job! I’m not Luna!”
- “Hmm? Oh, maybe not yet anyway. But you were starting to wake up
- early. You alicorns are so high maintenance, I honestly can’t stand you.”
- James made a face and delivered in a mocking tone. “It practically
- took weeks to get little miss Princess Mi Amore Cadenza out of her damn
- fortress. Why can’t all alicorns be as useless as you?”
- I winced. My heart rate started to escalate faster than ever before.
- tendrils of green and black smoke started to waft from his eyes.
- “Anyyyyyyway. Since you accepted all three of my gifts, I get to
- do this now!”
- You’ll never have the leading role!
- But don’t despair, you still have goals!
- We shared our food, our drink, our hearth!
- Perceive this darkness inside your heart!
- By the time the curse was concluded I was gasping for breath and
- clutching my chest. The black and green smoke rushed into me through my
- nose and mouth, and I struggled to stay on my feet and conscious. The last
- thing I remember saying was “But... it doesn’t even rhyme...”
- James huffed, a trail of dragon like smoke shooting from his
- mouth. “Oh Luna, don’t even start.”
- I came to when a loud angry banging echoed through the bathroom. I
- looked around wildly, I was alone. The facet I had been using was still
- spilling out into the sink, and a small folded up piece of paper was
- sitting on the counter.
- Got your number! Here’s mine: 666-2317 >:)
- I groaned and slipped the note into my pocket before shambling to
- the door. I opened it expecting security guards, instead I found a man and
- his son, who was dancing madly the dance of the rainmaker.
- He shook his head angrily and stormed in right through me. “God
- damn junkie, you’re lucky I didn’t have time to call security.”
- I did feel pretty lucky, because at that moment my bus was
- boarding, and I raced toward it like someone desperate to escape a
- nightmare.
- The trip wasn’t even in a Greyhound, it was some offshoot charter
- brand or something. There was no power and no internet, and the little
- televisions hanging from the ceiling didn’t work either. I resigned myself
- to an unpleasant ride, but consoled myself that it would at least be
- short.
- When I got to San Diego, no one was waiting for me. Which wasn’t
- surprising, I said in my email that I could get back to the house on my
- own. A couple of hours on the trolley and a few transfers later, and I had
- arrived at my childhood home just in time for dinner.
- Or I would have been if anyone was there. I wasn’t sure why the
- door was locked, I told them I’d be showing up today. With some difficulty
- I jumped high enough to grab the roof of the parking structure surrounding
- our condo. I pulled myself up, the small rocks on it’s surface digging
- into my skin. I walked around to the tiny cell that functioned as our back
- yard and leapt down into the grass. The sliding glass door was never
- locked, and getting inside was easy at that point.
- I took the time to shower, shave, brush my teeth, basically remove
- all the disgusting homeless person that had built up during my trip, and
- curled up on the couch with a book to read. My mom was the first person
- home, and her surprise was equally gratifying and insulting.
- “Oh! Hello!” She said through clenched teeth. “You’re here today!”
- I blinked at her and stood up. “Well, yeah. Didn’t you read my
- email?”
- “Oh sweety, you know I don’t check my email.”
- “I called you in advance and asked if it was okay for me to stay
- here awhile, when you said yes I told you I’d be sending you an email with
- more info about when.”
- “Yes... Well.” She stood there stiffly, a condition that only
- became worse when I tried to abandon my exasperation and hug her.
- “Well. It’s good to see you again.” I said. “Hopefully I won’t be
- here too long.”
- “Oh... No. Take as long as you need!” My mom flashed me one of her
- rehearsed smiles.
- I shook my head and went to the kitchen to start working on
- dinner. My older and younger brother, Robert and John, respectively, came
- storming in an hour later.
- Somehow they were built in the greek image of perfection, and I
- was the slight and waifish figure that provoked... well, creepy assholes
- on public buses to pinch their nipples. At least I was taller than them,
- but that didn’t stop them from abusing me. Somehow I managed to land the
- youngest sibling slot despite my seniority.
- “Hey Eric!” Robert clapped me on the back, a social gesture I wish
- could be banished to the enchanted confines of the moon. “Wasn’t expecting
- you here today! What are you making for dinner?”
- “...Soup.”
- “Can we get a little elaboration?” John chimed in.
- “It’s chicken tortilla soup.” I paused. “Robert, please get off of me.”
- Robert’s eyes went wide and he pried his hand free before waiving
- it in the air like a daring lion tamer. “As you wish your royal highness!”
- That phrase made me quake like a leaf, and I couldn’t keep it
- under wraps. For the first time since I could remember, my older brother
- looked worried about me.
- “Hey, are you okay? You didn’t catch anything did you?” Robert grabbed my
- chin, my family doesn’t really respect the concept of personal space. “You
- look like shit. Your eyes are sorta yellow.”
- I shook him off and began stirring the soup. “I’m fine! Get off of me! I
- just haven’t really slept in a few days.”
- John hated to be outdone by Robert. He grabbed the ladle from my hand and
- shoved me aside. “Then go get some rest you big idiot, we’ll handle dinner
- tonight Cinderella.”
- The faint pounding in my head that had persisted ever since that
- stop in LA came in full force. My hand shot out and wrapped around John’s
- throat like a wolf’s jaws around a rabbit’s neck. “Don’t. Call me that.” I
- used my other hand to retrieve the ladle from him. “I started dinner, I’m
- going to finish dinner. Or is that not alright with you?”
- “Uh... sure man... whatever, right?” John backed away, but Robert
- wasn’t so easily cowed.
- “You’re sure you’re alright then?” He placed a hand on John’s
- shoulder and slowly pulled him away to safety.
- ‘Yes. FINALLY some respect, I am older than that prepubescent
- little idiot, and I deserve to be treated as such!’
- I shook my head to clear it of the pounding, and let the ladle sink into
- the soup.
- “Actually, I’m not really sure.” I stammered and took a step back.
- “I think I’m going to go lay down or something.”
- “You can use my room.” Robert said, he lead me there like I had no
- idea where I was going, but thankfully avoided grabbing my hand.
- The room was just like I remembered it, stuffed with bad music
- posters and pictures of barely naked women. But at least the bed was
- clean. I curled up on the mattress without much of a fight. I couldn’t
- stop shaking. Robert held the door open for a second longer and muttered.
- “Get some sleep, alright?”
- He didn’t need to ask me a third time.
- It was all my fault, I should have been there! I should have been there!
- Where had I been instead? In bed, observing the dreams of adolescents and
- foals?! The fate of Equestria hung in the balance and Princess Luna was
- NOWHERE to be seen! That makes what, four times in a row?
- I looked around wildly, no... Not in bed, not back home. I was still in
- the moon. Still in that infernal inferior celestial object as it whirled
- around the sky at the behest of my big sister.
- I hated her. I hated her more than words could express. How could she
- choose his help over mine? It was her fault! It was her fault all of this
- had happened to us, happened to Twilight...
- I gnashed my teeth and stomped at the magical walls of my prison
- with rage-fueled vigor. The stars danced madly overhead. Celestia can move
- the sun and moon, but she wasn’t very good at manipulating the stars. Even
- I was barely capable of such.
- But they loved me, at least. Even at my worst they cared for me,
- and when the stars come right, well...
- For Five Score, Divided by Four...
- Patience is a virtue, I guess.
- I woke up in the dead of night, covered in sweat, but with a dry mouth.
- You can’t explain that, science did it. A cursory glance at the alarm
- clock informed me that it was now five in the morning, the sun would be
- rising soon. I considered going back to sleep, but in all honesty I was
- feeling absolutely disgusting. I needed a shower like never before.
- ‘No matter how hard you scrub, you’ll never be clean Luna!’ A mirth-filled
- voice echoed through my mind. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and
- padded out of the bedroom and into the full bathroom right next to it.
- The shower felt really great, and got rid of the sweat nicely, but it
- didn’t really do much to make me feel cleaner. Stupid mocking head voice.
- Why do you always know the future?
- I climbed out of the shower and began drying myself off with two
- of the only things I had left behind. I was surprised they were still
- there, actually. Two towels, one dark blue and the other black.
- Considering what I finally noticed next, they were oddly appropriate in
- colour.
- On either side of my thighs there was a small unevenly shaped
- blob, pitch black in colour. they were an odd shade of black that should
- have been impossible, with tattoo ink anyway. I ran my hand along them
- expecting to feel hair or fur or something, but there was nothing. It was
- difficult to describe really. Inside each was a small crescent white moon.
- It only took a second to realize what I was looking at, and when the penny
- dropped my mouth dropped with it.
- “Well, that wasn’t there before...”
- --------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Nightmares and Dreamscapes
- “Nopony must know of this...” I stammered while looking down at
- my exposed cutiemark. It took a second or two to realize what I had just
- said. “Ugh! This should be a dream! Why isn’t it a dream?” I dragged out
- the word dream with a childish whine that almost resulted in the nervous
- grinding of teeth.
- I turned the lights off and sat down on the closed toilet, sitting
- in the dark was often an invaluable technique for calming myself down.
- Denying my senses any input gives them less to work with, except for when
- I was feeling particularly imaginative. Right now I was a bit too
- preoccupied to start inventing nightmarish creatures that were crawling up
- the bathtub’s drain.
- The cutiemark on either of my thighs wasn’t so easily avoided
- unfortunately. It was a bit weird and... well, neat, actually. The blotch
- and the crescent moon stood out against the darkness very faintly. It was
- not at all like typical black light effects, or glow in the dark
- illumination. The light seemed unusually natural, considering the source,
- and it pulsed as though it were alive. One of my ears did its best to
- flick as I focused my attention on my shiny new cutiemark. I grabbed at it
- with both hands and yelped, silencing myself last second as much as I
- could.
- “I hate when it does that!” I growled out. “It feels so weird...”
- I released my ear and calmed down. My issues were so much bigger
- than twitchy ears, and right now it wasn’t worth the distraction. I looked
- back down at the small representations of the night sky. The soft glow was
- quickly starting to hypnotize me, and if I listened close I swore I could
- hear the soft hum of something... indistinct.
- “Ha!” I shouted a bit too loudly, given the hour. “It’s magic!”
- I had to admit, I suddenly wasn’t so bent out of shape. Real magic, and it
- wasn’t a dream! It was a motherfucking miracle. I had half a mind to paint
- myself up like a clown. And then the other foot dropped.
- ‘This is Luna’s cutiemark.’ I took another worried glance back
- down. ‘What the hay am I doing with Luna’s cutiemark?’
- Unbidden, my mind filled with the events from the previous week.
- Josh kissing my hand, the little girl on the bus, and the episode with
- James that I had soundly placed out of mind for the sake of my sanity.
- Delicate. Flower.
- I stumbled backwards and yelped. The heels of my feet had struck
- the side of the tub, and they could go no further, but the rest of me
- wasn’t so convinced. I tumbled backwards into the tub with a loud thud.
- I winced and clutched the side of my head for a few moments before
- a sharp knock on the door sounded the presence of another. “Are you
- alright in there?” I heard Robert’s gruff voice echo through the bathroom
- door.
- “Y-Yes! We are fi-” I coughed and clutched at my throat. Did...
- Did my voice just crack?
- . . . Did I just use the royal we?
- “I’m coming in.” He shoved open the door, and I mentally smacked
- myself for not opening the counter drawer as a makeshift deadbolt.
- Instead what I did was cry out and cover up my privates with a
- towel. In retrospect a pointless maneuver, it’s not like I had anything he
- hadn’t seen before, or vice versa. “Robert... I’m naked.”
- He paused in the doorway and cocked his head. “I can see that.” He
- closed the door behind him and then flicked on the bathroom lights. The
- light was almost blinding after my long sit in the dark. I closed my eyes
- defensively and pulled back.
- “Jeez Eric, got yourself some nice tattoos there.” When I opened
- my eyes he was hunched over by the side of the tub, and was poking
- my cutiemark experimentally.
- I swatted at his hand nervously while using my spare to hide
- behind the towel. “What are you doing?! Stop that!” I recoiled further
- into the tub and winced when the cold metal of the facet grazed my back.
- “It’s not a tattoo...” I whimpered.
- “Are you sure?” That old big brother tone entered his voice and
- his lips curled into an expression of knowing mirth. “Because it looks
- like you tattoo’d Luna’s cutiemark onto your butt.” He clasped his hands
- together and laughed out. “Oh Eric, now you really are a princess!”
- I don’t know what I was thinking. My heart rate was sky high, so I
- guess that’s evidence toward the conclusion that I hadn’t. My hand sailed
- out and collided with his face, the echo from the slap was almost
- deafening as it ricocheted off the walls. In the aftermath, I was
- hyperventilating with my hand outstretched, and Robert’s face was red like
- the inside of a plum. It was obvious there was going to be a bruise. He
- clutched the side of his face with a pained expression.
- I gathered my senses, and upon recognizing my extremely effeminate
- position I yelped and curled inward, wrapping the towel completely around
- myself. “Not a tattoo...” I mumbled out before purposefully avoiding his
- gaze.
- “Relax Eric, I know that. I was just teasing you.” Robert rubbed
- at his jaw. “You should really stick to slapping, they’re way worse than
- your punches.”
- I ignored his last statement. “How can you tell?”
- “That it’s not a tattoo?”
- I nodded quietly.
- Robert reached over and pulled back the left sleeve of his shirt,
- around his arm was a band of ink for every year he’d been alive. I didn’t
- need to count to know there was 31 of them, and pretty soon there would be
- 32. The closer they got to the base of the wrist the more faded they
- appeared. The first 18 must have been done at once, because they all had
- the same faded greenish black colour.
- “Because that is what a real tattoo looks like.” He stated matter
- of factly. “Whatever you’ve got going there, it looks like a birthmark,
- but... It’s like someone painted it on.” He shook his head in disbelief.
- “You’re not going to get a white moon that is that unblemished at a tattoo
- parlor. Unless you found someone who has perfected mysterious techniques
- from the exotic orient.”
- “It’s a cutiemark...” I half whispered to myself.
- Robert beamed down at me. “It sure looks like it!” He walked over
- to the sink and wet a rag with cold water before applying it to his face.
- “So how’d you get it?”
- “I had a nightmare, so I decided to take a shower.” I exaggerated
- a shrug enough for the gesture to be visible through the towel. “I just
- woke up with it, this morning.”
- “This morning, huh?”
- Once again, I nodded.
- “Well, happy birthday I suppose.” He reached his hand into his
- back pocket and dug out a small orangish-brown envelope before tossing it
- to me. I stretched my hands out from under the towel and caught it.
- “What is this?”
- “It’s your birthday present.”
- “But... why? You didn’t even know I was going to be here
- yesterday.” I looked down and started scrutinizing it carefully, ready for
- a prank.
- “Read the envelope Eric... I was going to mail it today.”
- Sure enough the package had my old address in Wisconsin on it.
- “Go ahead, open it.” He sat Indian-style against the bathroom door
- and leaned into it, clutching the cold rag to his face.
- It wasn’t that difficult to open, though I did end up resorting to
- my teeth. I guess in my emotional state I lost quite a bit of my
- dexterity, because I kept fumbling with my hands. With a slow rip I tore
- at one of the ends. I gently tapped the side of it against the towel and
- the contents fell out onto the relatively yielding safety of the material,
- instead of the hard surface of the tub. The first object I noticed was a
- necklace. It was hard to miss with the large dark blue crystal perched in
- the center. The crystal was held in place by the most amazing
- wire-wrapping job ever. It was elegant in a sort of dark way, possessed of
- both sharp edges and graceful curves. It wasn’t like anything I’d ever
- seen in some jewelry shop.
- “Robert... How did you get this?”
- “DeviantArt, 200 dollars.”
- “You bought me a necklace off DeviantArt?” I raised a brow at him.
- He winced at the quickly developing bruise. “Hey, if you don’t
- want it, I’ll wear it.”
- “No No! I want it, it’s just...” I looked down at the necklace and
- folded my fingers around the pendent. “Thanks...”
- I reached down and picked up the second object, which was a
- letter. It was handwritten ink on blank white printer paper. It was also
- unevenly folded, but I always had a hard time with that myself.
- Hey Eric
- I know we didn’t get along very well growing up. But I just wanted to
- write you for your birthday and tell you how proud I am of you. This is
- your first birthday way from home, right? You finally got out man, and I
- think thats great!
- You seem to really like shiny things, and this made me think of you. I
- hope you don’t mind that it’s basically jewelry, I know how sensitive you
- can be about your masculinity (Or lack thereof! Ha!)
- Happy Birthday
- Robert
- I folded the letter up and slipped it back into the envelope.
- “Thank you...” I fiddled with the chain of the necklace a bit. “It was
- very thoughtful, we appreciate your gift.”
- Eric snickered, and I clapped a hand over my mouth.
- “We, huh?”
- “Robert! You can’t tell anyone about the...” My voice talespinned
- into a squeaky whisper. “Cutiemark...”
- “Hey, don’t worry Luna.” He stated mockingly. “I won’t tell
- anyone, it’ll be our little secret.”
- I ignored his teasing and stood up. I bent over and snatched up
- the extra towel, draping it over my shoulders. The first towel was wrapped
- around my waist, so most of my figure was now obfuscated enough to suit my
- nerves. “Thank you.”
- “Don’t mention it.” He stood up. “If anyone asks, I slipped and
- fell into the doorknob.”
- “If anyone asks, I fell in the shower, and my voice did not
- crack.”
- He held out a hand and we shook on it. “Deal.”
- I climbed out of the tub and yawned. “I should get some more
- sleep.”
- Robert nodded and opened the bathroom door. “After you milady.” He
- held his hand out like some kind of manservant.
- I was about to become my usual indignant self, but a flash of heat
- from my thighs interrupted me, and instead of yelling at him I merely
- huffed. “We are more than prepared to strike thee a second time.”
- Robert looked incredibly confused by the archaic speech, but he
- stood up straight and stopped with the charade.
- “Much better.” I replied, and stepped proudly out of the bathroom
- and back into the bedroom.
- When the door closed behind me I fell back against it. The wave of
- heat dissipated and I was feeling absolutely frigid all of a sudden. I
- slid down until I was sprawled out on my rear, a detail that only reminded
- me of the mark I now shared with a certain cartoon horse. I closed my eyes
- and ran a tense hand through my hair.
- What the hell was happening to me? Why was I speaking so
- strangely? Why was I acting this way? I felt like an absolute stranger to
- myself. Am I going to start speaking in caps-lock soon? As abrupt as some
- of the changes in personality were, it was getting very hard to tell where
- Luna began and I ended.
- ‘Assuming there is any difference at all.’ I thought bitterly.
- My other hand was still holding the necklace my brother had given
- me, and I stared at it. It glinted in the soft light of near-dawn, and
- scattered the light around pleasantly. It really was beautiful.
- ‘I bet it will match my coat quite well. Tia will be so jealous!’
- My eyes widened.
- Ah ha, yeah... No. We’re going back to sleep now.
- I mean I am going back to sleep now!
- With a frustrated sob I picked myself up and stepped lightly to
- the bed. A cold feeling in my chest was still spreading out through my
- veins and making me shiver, so when I collapsed onto it I scooped up all
- of the blankets and bundled myself in them tightly.
- The insulation from the blankets didn’t seem to do much besides trap the
- cold in. I thrashed about a bit trying to get warm before finally giving
- up and curling up into a ball with my back against the wall. It felt like
- icy fingers were wrapping themselves around my heart, and I wasn’t sure
- how I was going to cope.
- As I got myself situated however, a gentle pulse of warmth
- resonated from where my new cutiemark was located. It did a pretty good
- job of driving off most of the cold, though it remained particularly bad
- in my chest. I couldn’t really help myself at that point, I murmured
- happily and reveled in the feelings sweeping through my body.
- Sure, everything was changing, and this was my body. My
- precious body. But isn’t change what I was looking for in the first place
- when I left home all those months ago? The mental changes were especially
- frightening still, but all of this still felt... really nice!
- I drifted off to sleep then. The warmth filling my body continued
- to battle that invasive coldness. Those twin sensations ushered me into
- sleep together.
- I’ll never understand why people claim you can’t dream in colour,
- or read in your dreams. If anything colours were exaggerated in my dreams.
- Reading was as simple as noting the address and names on the side of the
- mailboxes, and based on those, I wasn’t too far from my father’s house. I
- probably could have left if I wanted to, but the natural gravity provided
- by the dream’s intensity pulled me forward, and I didn’t see a reason to
- fight back. The secret to relaxation in the dreamlands is to just go with
- the flow.
- For the most part, anyway.
- My father and mother divorced early on after my younger brother
- had been born. He was a bit of a lecherous pig, and I didn’t really enjoy
- his company much anyway. He always hollered after women or acted like some
- kind of stud whenever I was around. It’s the same way he acted around guys
- in general, really, and it was as though I was expected to find him
- cool for this behavior. He was trying to earn my respect, and that was his
- first step towards losing it.
- I had an older sister from before he met my mother, and he never
- acted that way around her. He acted like... Well, what I hope qualifies
- for himself. He would never act that way around me, and I always resented
- him for that. Her as well, but since I never interacted with her it was
- hardly an issue that ever came up.
- That soft and gentle inertia led me to the front yard of his
- house. The grass was well kept and there was a large tree for shade, as
- well as a trampoline. Dad met an overweight singer at his local church,
- and she was desperate to get married and have kids. I guess her biological
- clock was running out and such. She had rich parent, so.Dad made out like
- a bandit. She was so grateful that she didn’t even care about his
- wandering eyes, or hands.
- The picket fence was gone. That was new, I certainly didn't
- remember that from the last time I visited. Around the perimeter of the
- yard were long wooden stakes with wire stretched in a hexagonal pattern
- around them. On the other side of the wire was a thick brown cardboard,
- like when you get those little tubes of biscuit dough for dinner. While
- scrutinizing the layout an understand dawned on me. He was replacing his
- old picket fence with a wall.
- That gravity began tugging at me once more, and I knew I had to
- find my father. At this time of day I assumed he would be in the backyard
- working on his garden. So I rounded the house and made my way towards it.
- When I dream, I make a game of noticing the interesting
- incongruencies. To veer on a Jungian tangent, dreams are intuition based,
- and less sensing based. This might account for why people claim you cannot
- read or see in colour in dreams... But that’s a thought exercise for
- another time.
- The first thing I noticed about this dream was that everything ‘was much
- larger than it should have been. The stakes went up to my shoulders,
- instead of my waist. The house towered like a castle, and I could even
- make out a pennant flying high at the top. When I finally reached the
- garden the vegetables had received the same treatment. The pumpkins were
- as big as carriages, and the the heads of lettuce were as big as cardboard
- boxes.
- “Eric?” I heard my father’s voice call out in an angry and
- confused tone.
- So, It was one of those dreams.
- I turned around to face him. My father was always a big man. He
- worked for a moving company for most of his life, and never cut his hair,
- and in this dream his size was also exaggerated. He looked like a towering
- barbarian king come to demand his offering of slaves.
- “What are you doing standing around? Get back to work!” He tossed
- a shovel at me, expecting me to catch it. I calmly stepped to the side,
- and it clattered to the ground by my feet. My only response was a smirk.
- His jaw went slack, and his face turned red. “What are you doing?
- Pick up that shovel!”
- “Yeah, I just don’t think that’s going to happen.” I looked down
- at the shovel and spat at it. “Sorry pops, no free labor today!”
- He marched the rest of the distance between us and thrust a finger
- against my chest. The waves of anger tugged and twisted at the dream,
- disturbing the flow and amping up the intensity. Things were getting out
- of hand. If they continued, the gravity would likely be too strong for me
- to fight against. I’d find myself in a nightmare, and those are unpleasant
- on the best of nights.
- I acted on instinct, even I do that in dreams on occasion. I
- shoved the towering man back with unexpected strength. When he stepped
- back his face was a blistering beet red, and he swung at me. I ducked
- beneath the blow and scooped up the shovel by the handle in one movement,
- then rolled around his side and behind him with the next. Before he could
- recover from his attempted haymaker I brought the metal end of the shovel
- down on his head, hard.
- With a crack that echoed through the dream he collapsed onto the
- ground in a heap. I lifted the shovel high into the air and prepared to
- stab it down like a spear right into his back, but before I could complete
- the movement a voice called out to me.
- “Stop!”
- I took one of my hands off the handle and lowered the shovel to my
- side. Standing by my father’s side was one of his newer kids. Jordan, I
- think this one’s name was. Jordan was the oldest from what I remember
- anyway. He stood by my father's crumpled body and his slingshot was drawn
- like he was David fighting Goliath. If this were anyone else’s dream I’d
- feel like I interrupted something important, but since that was obviously
- impossible, and this was mine, I couldn’t help but feel like I was meant
- to be upstaged again.
- By a kid with a slingshot.
- “You step away from my father!” He bellowed.
- “You step away from mine!”
- Jordan shook his head with an expression of righteous anger. “He’s
- not your father! Stop pretending to be Eric!”
- “What the hell are you talking about? Of course I’m Eric! Now get
- out of the way while I finish this stupid dream!”
- Jordan pulled the cord on his slingshot back a bit further. “It’s
- not a dream, it’s a nightmare, and you’re not Eric. Eric doesn’t have eyes
- like that.”
- “What?”
- “Eric has brown eyes, yours aren’t even human.” He spat at me.
- “They’re weird and funny looking, like a demon’s!”
- I felt a sharp icey stab of pain in my thighs, and pulled the
- waist of my pants out so I could look down and see what the matter was.
- That’s weird, when did I get Luna’s cutiemark?
- It was pulsing too, fading from a dark purple to pitch black. The purple
- light was almost malevolent, and my mind immediately drew a comparison to
- cancer. I looked around wildly for something to serve as a mirror, and the
- dream provided.
- I tossed the shovel to the side and walked down to the back yard’s
- driveway. The gravel had come loose here, and there was a large puddle of
- water in the indent. It functioned perfectly as a mirror, and I bent down
- to get a good look at my reflection.
- Jordan was right, my eyes did look weird. They were a vibrant
- glowing turquoise, and had a narrow slit for a pupil. It was extremely
- disconcerting, and somehow they brought up memories I couldn’t quite put
- into context. They filled me with terror, that was key. Something very
- very bad was happening to me.
- I took a step back from the pool of water, and turned around to
- face Jordan. Instead I saw my father back on his feet. He had the shovel
- from earlier and was winding it back with both hands. I didn’t even hear
- the impact as it smashed into my face.
- Bad end, I guess.
- I tried to gasp out for breath when I woke up, but it had been too
- abrupt. Already I could barely remember what had happened, and traces of
- memory were ransacked by the creeping feeling of dread that came with
- sleep paralysis. I needed to move! I needed to breathe! Both were denied
- to me, and I started to whimper in my own mind as shadows in the room
- crept and moved about. At least the terror was alleviated a bit by the
- rays of sunlight sweeping into the room. If this were my night, my
- punishment for swift departure from sleep would be quite a bit steeper.
- Unable to move, unable to breathe, imprisoned in my own body... Just like
- being imprisoned in the moon.
- Warmth filled me again, and I started to regain the feeling in my
- legs. I kicked and thrashed to exercise my reclaimed freedom.
- I sat up straight and shivered. I’ve never been in any moon. What was
- wrong with me? I peeked down my pajamas and sighed with relief. My
- cutiemark was black with a white moon. Black, not purple. Why was I so
- relieved to see that?
- I made my way into the bathroom and cranked on the facet. I cupped
- my hands under the stream and splashed my face with soothing warm water,
- then took a good long look in the mirror. There was no sign of stubble or
- shadow, none at all. The skin was pale, and I couldn’t help but notice
- that my face looked a bit more feminine somehow. It seemed overnight I had
- lost the need to shave, and also acquired some crazy eyelashes. My eyes
- were still brown at least, so no changes there. I peeked down at my
- cutiemark again and sighed.
- ‘It’s going to be time to get a legal name change soon, Eric. At
- least you’ve always liked the name Luna. You could have ended up as her
- sister, right?’
- My towels weren’t in the bathroom anymore, so I went back into
- Robert’s room before drying off my face. My bag filled with clothing was
- still laying on its side in the center of the room, so I picked it up and
- spilled the contents out onto the floor. There was nothing in there but
- clothes and a few grooming items: an electric razor, a bottle of skin
- cleanser, and a bottle of toner.
- Look, the first step to maintaining health is prevention. If I was
- going to age I was going to age gracefully damn it. My mom and dad were in
- their 50s, and I’ve seen what waits for me otherwise.
- ‘You’re turning into an immortal princess of the night, remember?
- Age is a thing of the past! Always look on the bright side of life!’
- I sorted through the clothing until I found a pair of jeans. Not
- my favorite pair, but they were the first thing I spotted so I put them
- on.
- Strangely, putting them on was a bit of a chore, but it wasn’t
- like I had gained any weight. If anything I had lost a few pounds while on
- the road. I struggled briefly getting them up and over my thighs, and when
- they were on they didn’t fit right at all. They were too tight in some
- places, and too loose in others. What was even weirder was that they were
- too long. While walking around I would repeatedly catch my heel on the
- bottom of the pant leg. The last time I had worn them they stopped at my
- ankle.
- I slipped them off with a bit less effort and tried the next pair,
- but experienced the same problem as before. I went through my entire pile
- of clothing and experienced more of the same, for the most part. Some
- investigation with the mirror helped me realize that not only did I have a
- shiny new cutiemark, I now had prominent hips as well.
- A cutiemark belonging to some princess from a cartoon show had
- been relatively easy to handle, back when it didn't include the
- unfortunate side effect of turning into a girl too. I really need to
- figure out my priorities here. Am I upset because I’m turning into Luna,
- or am I upset because I’m switching teams?
- I tossed my pants back into the duffle bag and put my pajamas back
- on. Glorious PJs, you are a source of hope for fat people and TF victims
- the world over.
- By the time I finished cleaning up after myself a loud bang came from the
- doorway. Robert flung open the door to the bedroom with John hounding him
- from behind. He dashed inside with a plate of eggs and a cup of orange
- juice, then slammed the door in John’s face.
- “What are you two doing in there? What new conspiracy are you
- hatching?!” John shouted through the door.
- “Keep at it, and I’m gonna show ya!” Robert called back. The
- sounds at the door stopped.
- Robert sighed and placed the plate and cup down in front of me. He then
- marched over to the door and swung it open. John tumbled forward onto his
- face, as his ear had been placed against the door.
- “Seriously, I want some privacy with Eric. We spend enough time
- together.” John looked like he was a dog being abused. “We’ll hang out
- later today, okay? Whatever you want to do.”
- John nodded meekly and trudged off for his own bedroom. Robert
- closed the door gently before turning around to face me.
- “I thought you could use some breakfast. Figured you’d be up, or
- that you’d better be, it’s nearly noon.”
- I took a forkful of cold eggs and chewed them quietly. “Thanks.”
- “So... Anything new?” He asked covertly, though we both knew what
- he meant.
- I gulped down the eggs and took a large swig of OJ. I hesitated
- before deciding to tell him. “I haven’t shaved since the middle of the day
- yesterday, and my pants don’t fit anymore.” I shifted uncomfortably. “They
- don’t fit right.” I amended.
- Robert beamed like a saint on the day of his canonization. “My
- last girlfriend left some of her clothes here, you can try on some of her
- jeans!”
- “Not very funny.” I hungrily finished my eggs in between words.
- “I was being serious...” He fished out a pair from the closet and
- tossed them on the ground beside me. “They’re nothing excessive or
- anything. Any skater would love to snag a pair.”
- He was right, they were pretty tame as far as jeans go. There was
- a bit more to my reluctance though. Wearing clothing tailored for a girl
- would be giving in! It would be letting... whatever is happening, win!
- “Look, just try them on, if you don’t like them you don’t need to
- wear them.”
- I grumbled, huffed, and made a show of being miserable, but in the
- end I still picked up the pair of pants. Robert just kept staring at me,
- and I looked up at him. “Do you mind?”
- “Not at all. Please continue.”
- I glared in reply. “Turn around. Or leave the room, I do not care
- which.”
- Robert rolled his eyes and turned around to face the closet doors.
- It took me a moment to realize they doubled as mirrors, and that making
- him turn around changed nothing. I growled out angrily and pulled off my
- pajamas before slipping into the jeans.
- As it turns out the jeans were a perfect fit. Robert turned around
- and raised a brow after looking me over. “Uh... Yeah. You definitely
- weren’t like that last night. By which I mean... this morning.”
- I pulled off the jeans in frustration and slipped back into my PJs
- before collapsing backwards onto his bed. “I don’t know what’s going on!”
- Robert took a seat next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder,
- and for once in my life I actually didn't mind being physically close to
- someone. I curled up and pulled a bit closer in response.
- “I know what’s happening.” He smiled down at me.
- “Y-You do?”
- “Yes! You’re blossoming into a beautiful young woman! It took you
- long enough.”
- Robert snickered as I yelled out angrily and rolled over to shove
- him off the bed. “Joking! I’m joking! Don’t worry, I’m sure there has to
- be an explanation for this!”
- He pulled out the chair to his desk and took a seat before booting
- up his PC. I was content to glower at him from the bed while he did his
- thing. His desktop was nothing but a black screen, as evidently his copy
- of windows was ‘not genuine’. Aside from that it was immaculate and clear
- of icons.
- Occasionally he’d ask for any suggestions when it came to where to
- look for other cases, and I’d bitterly call out some brony community that
- I wish I didn’t know about. We went back and forth like this for an hour,
- and didn’t find anything.
- “Fuck it!” Robert called out in frustration. “If someone needs to
- be OP, it may as well be us!”
- He brought up Twitter and mused loudly. “I don’t really want to
- use my twitter account for this, do you have one?”
- I scoffed at him. “Of course I do not have a Twitter account, I
- thought you were my brother.”
- Robert repeated what I said in a mocking tone. “Of course I don’t
- have a Twitter! My name’s Eric and I’m too high and mighty to use facebook
- or other social networking sites!”
- I scrunched up my face at him as best I could. “Just make a new
- account or something.”
- “Good idea!” He snickered. “Lets see, we will name it ‘mlp4evar’!”
- He found this name hilarious. I found it retarded.
- “You’re never going to get any bites with a name like that!”
- “Just watch me.”
- He spent a few moments setting up the account, and then another
- minute typing up the message, which read as follows:
- Woke up with a Cutie Mark today!
- I’m confused, but happy!
- #mlp #bizarre
- “So what do you think?” He pulled away so I could see from the
- bed.
- “I think it looks like a child wrote it.”
- “Perfect!” He grinned before clicking the submission button.
- I rolled my eyes and got up off the bed. “So what do we do now?”
- Robert shrugged and got out of his chair. “Relax? It’s your
- birthday. That’s what you do on your birthday. Arcane symbols plastered to
- your rear be damned.” He moved over to the door to open it, but didn’t
- wait for me to leave first this time.
- As it happened, by the time we finished screwing around in his
- room it was just after noon. Mom had gone to work hours ago, and John was
- busy sulking in his room. Robert got to work cleaning up the kitchen, and
- I timidly followed behind him.
- “You can use my room until we figure all of this out.” He said
- while tossing the dishes into the dishwasher haphazardly.
- “Really?” I froze in my tracks. No one in my family had ever
- really given me anything, or really gone out of their way to take care of
- me really. I couldn’t help but think about the letter that I had received
- with the necklace I was currently wearing. My hand instinctively reached
- up for the pendant to hold on to, and I was flooded with that by now
- familiar warm feeling. “Thanks... That actually means a lot to us... me!
- It means a lot to me!”
- Robert laughed and shook his head before wiping his hands off on a
- dish towel. “Don’t mention it. Sleeping on the couch for awhile isn’t
- going to kill me.” He walked over to the fridge and removed his keys from
- a magnet. “Unfortunately, I have class today. So you’re going to have to
- spend your birthday with John.”
- I grimaced, but nodded my understanding. “I am sure I will be
- fine. Thanks for everything, again.”
- He smiled from the doorway and gave a little mock bow, then spun
- on his heel and marched out the door.
- I was alone.
- In my absence the family had acquired one of those huge
- wall-mounted HD Television sets. Channel surfing didn’t reveal anything of
- real interest, so I switched it to Chiller and pulled out my laptop. As
- always, Skype was open as soon as I unlocked my user account.
- The first thing I noticed was somewhere in the ballpark of 87
- missed messages from Josh. This was unsettling, because even he is not
- normally that energetic. I skimmed through most of them and went to the
- bottom. It was mostly just him randomly asking if I was invisible or
- something with varying degrees of urgency. Since he was still online I
- decided to figure out what was so important.
- Wintermute: How can I help you?
- Nightwatch: Guess what?
- Nightwatch stands at attention, eagerly awaiting your guess!
- Wintermute: Uh...
- Wintermute: You woke up with somepony’s cutie mark, you don’t need
- to shave anymore, and your pants no longer fit properly?
- Nightwatch: =O
- Nightwatch: You’re right!
- Nightwatch: Well, half right. My hair is also turning dark blue,
- and my eyes are fuschia.
- Nightwatch: Also, they look kinda weird, like a cat’s!
- Nightwatch: Or...
- Wintermute: Or that OC you stole, you mean?
- Nightwatch: I didn’t steal it! I just think she looks cool is all.
- Nightwatch: Anyway, how did you know? I can’t find anything about
- it on the internet.
- Nightwatch: . . . Who’s cutie mark did you wake up with?
- Wintermute: …
- Nightwatch: Well?
- Wintermute: Luna’s. My hair and eyes are still perfectly normal,
- though.
- Nightwatch: I knew it! I knew there was a reason for everything!
- Nightwatch: Now I know why I got all of those feeling about you
- when you were staying with me!
- Nightwatch: It all makes sense! You really ‘are’ a princess! And I’m one
- of your royal guards! This is so exciting! Aren’t you excited?
- Wintermute: Hold on.
- Wintermute: I am not Princess Luna, and you are not some random
- Nightguard.
- Nightwatch: That sure doesn’t seem to be the case!
- Nightwatch: Don’t you remember Season 5? The finale?
- Wintermute: I try not to. It sucks.
- Nightwatch: Discord sent everypony to Earth! It all makes sense! I
- even had a dream!
- Nightwatch: For Five Score, Divided by Four! That’s 25! And we
- both just turned 25!
- A bit of what Josh was telling me was starting to take root. It
- ‘does’ make a certain kind of sense. Something about all of this is
- reminding me of the bus ride to San Diego, and my mind wanders to the
- fake phone number in the pocket of my jeans.
- Wintermute: Lets say I believe you. I’m still Eric. Maybe I ‘like’
- being Eric. I don’t want to be Princess Luna, and I don’t plan on being
- her even if my body changes to look like hers!
- Nightwatch: Oh don’t be ridiculous. You don’t like being Eric.
- That’s why you ran across the country.
- Nightwatch: And you never stopped being her. You just forgot you
- were her.
- Nightwatch: Heck, I bet if you look back on your childhood in this
- context, it all starts to make a lot more sense! Mine certainly does, and
- there isn’t even a canon personality for Nightwatch!
- I squirmed uncomfortably on the couch and ran a hand through my
- hair. I briefly considered how long I had before it was a swaying mass of
- magic, but was interrupted by a knock at the door, and the soft sound of
- something being dropped at my doorstep.
- Wintermute: I just got a package. I’ll be back in a bit.
- Nightwatch raises her hoof proudly in a salute.
- Nightwatch: talk to you in a bit Princess!
- I issued an exasperated sigh and walked over to the door, opening
- it with all the weary anxiety of someone who is apparently a long lost
- princess of a magical land far away. There is no one there, just a small
- brown box. It’s postmarked from last week and is addressed to me, so I
- pick it up and take it inside.
- I flipped the box around a bit and found a return address:
- James Concord
- 16132 Everfree Ln
- Los Angeles, CA XXXXX
- Well isn’t that just a sterling endorsement? I tossed it to the
- couch across from me and stared at it like the possible explosive that it
- was. Eventually my curiosity won out, and I crossed the distance. I took
- the box in both hands and tore it open with alarming speed. Something soft
- tumbled out onto the couch, followed by a piece of paper that drifted
- lazily to the cushion beside it.
- It was a Nightmare Moon plushie. A really good one, too. A jolt of
- cold ran through my veins and I turn to my laptop.
- Wintermute: Look I need to go, right now.
- Nightwatch: Are you okay?!
- Nightwatch: Please tell me you’re okay, I’d never forgive myself
- for letting you leave!
- I don’t stick around to read what he or she is saying. I close the
- lid to my laptop, grab the Nightmare Moon plushie, and squeeze them
- together under one arm. I only just remember the note that tumbled out as
- well, and storm back into Robert’s room.
- I snatched up the plush from under my arm and flung it at the bed
- across the room from me, then set my laptop down on the desk beside
- Robert’s keyboard. With the note clenched firmly in my left hand I slid
- down onto all fours and then fell back onto the floor. I stared at it for
- a few minutes, breathing loudly and trying to get my heart rate under
- control, then I finally begin to unfold it.
- Dearest Luna,
- Birthdays are a wonderful time to reflect on the past, and prepare for the
- future, don’t you think?
- XOXO
- Discord
- Tears began to stream down my face, and I held a hand up to my
- mouth to stifle any sobs. Why is such a short stupid letter affecting me
- like this? I am not Luna!
- I crumpled up the note and threw it away from me.
- “I am not Luna...”
- The tears continued to well up in rebellion. I curled up against
- the desk, fighting to reclaim my composure. Eventually I gave up and
- pulled myself over to the the bed. After burrowing under the sheets I
- reached out for the Nightmare Moon plushie. It made me feel terrible just
- to look at it, it’s a reminder of what is happening to me. It’s reminding
- me of a past I just don’t want. How could anyone want it? And yet, it’s
- comforting. It’s very soft, and oddly cool to the touch, It reminds me of
- the moon.
- Just like the moon.
- My body is wracked with sobs and I clutch the little toy tighter.
- I can’t stop thinking about what that little girl said, what Sarah said to
- me.
- “Your sister hasn’t given up on you! So you can’t give up on her!”
- With those words in mind, I drift into a thankfully dreamless
- sleep.
- I woke up a couple of hours later and frantically checked my hair
- in the mirror. It still looked the same, but I guess it could be a little
- longer? I shrugged and decided to count my blessings. Eyes still look
- normal as well, as added bonus.
- I still have the Nightmare Moon plush squeezed in under one arm. It really
- is a neat little thing. From anyone else it would be a thoughtful birthday
- gift. I always admired how Nightmare Moon looked. She was way more
- beautiful than Princess Luna, especially the way Luna looked in season
- one. That was just...
- ‘Pathetic.’ was the first word that sprang to mind. Nightmare Moon
- was definitely cooler, not to mention more mature, and adult. I shook my
- head vigorously and cleared my thoughts.
- What the hell is wrong with me? Nightmare Moon is a villain, and
- that helmet looked retarded! Besides, I matured just fine on my own by
- season two.
- 'Really? Thinking of ourselves as Luna now?' I lowered my head
- sadly and placed the plush on top of the pillow.
- Well, I left Josh pretty abruptly, so maybe I should inform him of
- my well-being. No reason why I can’t do that from Robert’s computer. I
- took a seat in the chair and got to work.
- Wintermute: Hey.
- Wintermute: I just wanted to say everything is fine. I got a
- Nightmare Moon plushie in the mail and decided to go think about stuff.
- Nightwatch: How disgustingly thoughtless!
- Nightwatch: Does it have a return address? Are you alright?
- Wintermute: I am fine. No, there does not appear to be a return address.
- Wintermute: In any case it is remarkably well made, and I am pleased
- with it.
- Nightwatch: Really?
- Nightwatch: You’re pleased with it?
- Nightwatch: But you’re... you know. Luna.
- Wintermute: Yes, well. I remain unconvinced.
- Wintermute: NotALuna.
- For once, Nightwatch... I mean Josh, seemed at a loss for words. I
- took the opportunity to browse the web for awhile, and noticed the page
- was still open to Robert’s fake twitter account. It already had a reply.
- FionaS
- Hi!
- If it’s not too much trouble... Would you be willing to elaborate?
- #cutiemark #mlp
- My face flushed red with embarrassment and I snatched up Robert’s
- keyboard. I typed out furiously and perhaps with more shame than was
- necessary.
- mlp4eva
- Sorry! Just a prank intended for a friend! Really Sorry!
- I felt pretty guilty lying like that, but I was feeling very paranoid all
- of a sudden. And despite all the blushing, unusually cold. What if she
- needed help? What if she was like me, or Josh?
- It didn’t matter, right now what mattered was finding answers for
- myself. I did a routine search on all of the websites we checked earlier,
- but didn’t find anything of note. If other people were speaking out I was
- too incompetent to find them. I sighed and shoved the keyboard away.
- Twirling about in the chair managed to amuse me for awhile, but after a
- time I grew bored, and noticed that I was actually quite exhausted, in
- spite of the nap I just had.
- It was the middle of the day, why the hell would I be exhausted?
- Oh, right. Because I am Princess Luna, apparently.
- I fought pretty hard to maintain my diurnal freedom. I browsed the
- web for silly things, I tried to kick back and watch a movie, but nothing
- was nearly as appealing as getting some more sleep. With a bitter yawn of
- defeat I crawled back into bed, hugged my Nightmare Moon plush close, and
- curled up on my belly. I didn’t even need to put a sheet up over the
- window like usual. The strong presence of daylight had an almost soporific
- effect that soothed and lulled me to sleep the way pitch darkness used to
- back when I was...
- What? When I was human? I’ve still got my fingers and toes. I
- haven’t given up my humanity just yet.
- Robert was right though. Birthdays are for relaxing, and that’s
- just what I was going to try and do now.
- It was hot down here. It was hot and smelled incredibly
- unpleasant. I looked around to get a better understanding of myself and my
- setting, but it was hard to make a guess. I was standing in a pretty
- non-descript rock tunnel. It was well lit, despite the lack of a light
- source, but dreams did not always have to make linear sense. Intuitive,
- not Sensing again. The area was bright because it was a place that
- wanted you to see. In these subterranean confines, that did a lot to
- unnerve me.
- I walked forward on two conspicuously human feet, and I wasn’t sure if I
- was happy or sad over it. I still had my Nightmare Moon plush with me, and
- that seemed perfectly reasonable.
- I don't really experience them very often, but occasionally I'll have a
- dream where I somehow know the meaning to life, the universe, and
- everything. I don't usually remember much when I wake up, I just get the
- feeling I lost my grip on years of information. This was shaping up to be
- one of those dreams, and I was already starting to feel drunk and not
- myself.
- Although the place was well lit, and wanted me to see things, they were
- not without their own shadows, and I made use of them whenever necessary.
- I guess down here the monsters didn't need to hide in the darkness. A word
- for the place tickled at the back of my mind, and I dove deeper and deeper
- into those passages. After all, it was merely a dream, and I am not afraid
- of dreams.
- I am in my element as it were.
- I finally came to a large antechamber in the bowels of the system,
- and what I saw in the center shocked me.
- “Sister!” I cried out, but it was Luna’s voice, not mine, that I
- heard.
- The regal white form was wreathed in black iron chains that dug
- into her coat and left faint burns and blisters everywhere. It looked like
- she hadn’t moved for years, but she stirred when she heard my voice.
- “Luna?!” Her own cry responded to mine, filled with hope. She
- turned her head as much as she could and I gazed into her large pink eyes.
- I could see my reflection in them. I was still human, still Eric. Only my
- eyes and frame were different. Celestia looked noticeably crestfallen when
- she saw me, and much of her hopefulness evaporated.
- “What happened to you Luna?” Tears started to well up in her eyes,
- before streaming down her face and splashing to the ground. The hungry
- nature of the place drank them greedily, and seemed to glow brighter for
- it.
- I placed a hand on her side and she winced, like she was afraid of
- me. I couldn’t help but notice how her eyes lingered on my little
- Nightmare doll. I pulled my hand away sadly.
- I paused for a moment, trying to think of how I should reply.
- “Discord happened to me. To us.” I looked at the ground to hide my immense
- guilt. “He did the same to Twilight Sparkle. He caught me before I was
- even finished waking up.”
- We were both quiet for awhile, though I think Celestia’s silence
- was due to her state. It looked painful to even breathe with all those
- chains wrapped around her.
- “We’re in Tartarus, aren’t we?”
- “Yes,” Celestia croaked weakly. “Discord happened to me too.”
- “Yes, I saw the episode.” I muttered, falling to my knees beside
- her.
- “What?”
- “... I will explain some other time. You must be dreaming, I can
- help you get out of here.”
- My sister’s tears finally stopped and she shook her head,
- grimacing with the effort. “You cannot help me.”
- “Of course I can! We are dreaming, I am unstoppable here!”
- “Luna! You cannot help me. You cannot even help yourself...”
- Celestia coughed weakly. “You are not yourself right now. Not in body, not
- in mind, and certainly not in spirit.”
- “So what am I supposed to do then? Just leave you here? I will
- not!”
- “Luna, even if you stole me away with you, my body is still here.
- There is nothing you can do about that.” She paused before continuing.
- “You must find Twilight and the rest of the elements, they are the only
- way you can stop Discord!”
- That cold feeling welled up inside of me, and I stomped my foot
- against the stone with a loud crack. “How am I supposed to do that? Why am
- I supposed to do that? Why isn’t my help ever good enough?!”
- Celestia flinched at my outburst, and I was not sorry.
- “Ever since my exile ended, you have done nothing but shut me
- away! Whenever our kingdom was in any real danger, you made sure I was
- away! Why?! Tell me!”
- “Luna... I just worry for you, maybe you could handle things on
- your own, maybe we both could, but the elements are so much safer. They’re
- so much easier and certain!”
- ‘She thinks you’re unreliable. She doesn’t trust you.’
- ‘Birthdays are a good time to reflect on the past, and prepare for
- the future, don’t you think?’
- It hurt, a lot. It felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest
- with an icicle, and I cried out, dropping the little doll to the floor,
- and It vanished in a whirl of black smoke.
- I struggled to catch my breath, and Celestia looked on with concern.
- “...Luna?” She struggled in her chains. “Please tell me you’re
- okay...”
- “I’m fine.” I whispered, then reached out to hug her. “I haven’t
- given up on you, so you can’t give up on me. Alright?”
- Much of my sister’s tension seemed to melt away in my arms, and I
- began to really regret being human. It was a good thing we were dreaming,
- because of that, humanity was not strictly necessary.
- A transformation sequence wasn't even necessary, I just was. I folded my
- hooves under me and nuzzled her. “I am not helpless... You, Princess
- Cadance, myself, we may not be bearers of harmony like Twilight Sparkle
- and her friends, but we are still alicorns.” I shielded her with a wing.
- “We can still make a difference on our own. Are we not products of harmony
- ourselves?”
- Celestia weighed her thoughts carefully, that much will never
- change about her. “Yes... Yes, I’m sorry, you’re right Luna.” She wheezed
- softly through her labored speech. “Just do your very best, and I’m sure
- you’ll find our way out of this mess.”
- I nodded, and felt the not so gentle inertia of the dream pulling
- me away. “I need to go soon, Sister.”
- “Luna! I just... I wanted to say, you were right about him. You
- were right about Discord.”
- “It’s not your fault, you were just being yourself.” I smiled down
- at her. Me, the younger sister, smiling down at her. “You try to bring out
- the best in others, it’s just what you are. We’ll get through this too.” I
- laugh gently, and am delighted by the sound’s bell-like quality. “Hope and
- love, right?”
- My sister smiled at me in return. “Hope and Love.”
- The tugging is becoming more insistent, and I rise to my hooves to
- follow it.
- The sun is starting to set when I wake up, and for once I remember
- one of my dreams, very vividly. I don’t know if it’s because I am that
- much Luna or...
- No... Josh was right, wasn’t he? I was always Luna. Celestia was
- always my...
- Well, that explained my relationship with the show, and at least
- I’m not afraid anymore. I know where my home is now, I know who my family
- is, and I know why I’m not there. It was taken from me, and I need to work
- on taking it back.
- I sat up in bed and stretched. My bones and tendons cracked and
- groaned in all sorts of fun new ways. There is no way this is going to
- stop at a cutie mark and the need for new clothes, and I for one am ready
- for it. At least... I think I am?
- Certainly I am more ready for it than when I was just Eric.
- I climbed out of bed and stumbled over to the door. Walking on two
- legs all of a sudden isn’t so easy, but I remember myself quickly.
- Switching gears, that’s the hard part. I just had to remind myself that I
- still have two legs.
- The house was quiet, and when I reached the kitchen I discover why. My
- mom, Robert, and John were seated at the table around a small store-bought
- cake.
- I reached up to scratch my head and yawn. My hair is definitely longer
- now, but no one seems to notice, except maybe Robert, but he has an
- excellent poker face.
- “We were wondering when you’d get up.” My mom commented with naked
- irritation.
- “Happy Birthday!” John and Robert both called out, John’s
- enthusiasm didn’t exactly feel sincere, but Robert’s picked up the slack.
- We took a bit to light the candles, and Mom insisted we sing the
- most awkward performance of Happy Birthday in the history of the human
- race. I stared at the little 25 on top of my cake and huffed to myself.
- ‘Quite a bit older than 25, actually.’
- I blew out the candles and made perhaps the most realistic wish of
- any of my birthdays. I wished for all of my memories of home back, because
- already that dream was starting to feel pretty fuzzy, and I am not so sure
- how much like Luna I feel anymore. That really didn't take long at all.
- Memories have a scary power, when you really dwell on it.
- Everyone cheered softly, and Robert slugged me on the shoulder,
- though not very hard. I flinched in anticipation of another 24 hits from
- him, but they never come, and we start dividing up the tiny cake.
- Predictably, after we each get a slice we start going our separate ways.
- Mom heads for her room like she always does after work, and John retreats
- back to his room. I managed to take a few bites of my cake before Robert
- pulled me aside and spoke with a serious tone that was rather unlike him.
- “You should go have a talk with Mom.”
- “About the Luna thing?”
- “About everything,” he paused. “I don’t think she even recognizes
- you as her kid anymore.”
- “That’s not exactly my fault you know?” I look down in an effort
- to hide my guilt, because honestly she does not really feel like my mother
- anymore.
- “It’s not exactly anyone’s fault, just go to her.”
- “How do we even know she is my mother? It seems pretty likely that
- I’m actually Luna here.”
- Robert licked his lips and stared at me, his eyes narrowing.
- “Unless your existence as a magical horse in some kind of past life
- retcons her squeezing you out of a very small hole, and then basically
- sacrificing her own life goals for you, she’s still your mother. I don’t
- care if you’re the Dunwich Horror.” He guided me with a hand against the
- small of my back and then gave a soft push. “Now go.”
- I conceded to his logic and marched my happy little self into my
- Mom’s room, and she seemed pretty surprised to see me, because she jumped.
- “Oh... Um, happy birthday?”
- I nod in solemn appreciation. “Thank you.”
- I stood in the doorway for a while, and we both picked at our cake in
- silence.
- “So um...” I stammered. “How is work going?”
- “Work is fine,” she nodded slowly. “I got a few more cases, so I’m
- taking care of five people a week now.”
- I nodded in understanding. “Right, because you’re a CNA...” I took
- another forkful of cake, followed by another, until it is finally
- finished. I placed the empty plate on the dresser by the door and walked
- over, taking a seat on the bed beside her. “I uh... I missed you?”
- She stared at me for a moment, then scowled. “No you didn’t.”
- “I didn’t?” I tilt my head in response.
- “You were gone for seven months, and at no point during that time
- did you call me, not until you needed to come back.” She drank from a
- glass of wine. “You called because you were out of options.” She looked me
- in the eyes. “You didn’t.”
- “I'm... sorry.” I looked away in sadness, and tried not to think
- about how I let a family member down again. “I am not very good at family
- stuff.”
- “Well, we've noticed.” She said, taking another gulp of wine. She
- reached out with a hand and seized my chin, pulling my face until I’m
- looking her in the eye again, but without enough force to hurt. “You don’t
- even look the same anymore. Not like my son at all...” She shook her head.
- “Pretty eyes though, wish my eyes were like that.” She looked me over
- carefully, and stopped at my hair. “I’m not sure how I feel about the
- streaks though. It makes you look kinda gay.”
- I considered telling her everything right then, and opened my
- mouth to speak.
- But I didn’t say anything, she was halfway through this bottle of
- wine, and it was a big one. It just didn’t seem prudent.
- I got off the bed and walked over to pick up my plate. She didn’t
- say anything further, and neither did I.
- Before visiting the kitchen I made a stop at the bathroom to get a good
- look at myself.
- I had gotten a haircut before leaving Wisconsin three days ago,
- and when I had arrived in San Diego it was still very short, but that had
- changed over the course of the day. My ears were hidden behind long
- strands of black hair, with streaks of light blue. I guess no magic mane
- for me, at least not yet. Strictly season one hair for me.
- My eyes weren’t brown anymore, either. They must have changed
- while I slept, or just when I hadn’t been paying attention. They were a
- bright turquoise, and like my cutie mark they had a faint glow to them.
- Robert must have been getting something from his room, because he
- wasn’t in the kitchen when I arrived. I loaded the dishwasher carefully,
- and began sorting the various dishes more neatly than the way Robert had
- left them throughout the day.
- I had to agree with my mom. Those eyes... my eyes, were very
- pretty.
- --------------------------------------------------------------------------
- Under Lock and Key
- Robert entered the kitchen before I could even finish. He had his
- wallet out in front of him and was scrutinizing its contents carefully. He
- gave a satisfied nod and slipped it back into his pocket before looking up
- at me.
- “You and Mom are never satisfied with how I fill the
- dishwasher...” He grumbled.
- “Well that’s because it’s wrong.” I finished washing one of our
- nicer knives and began drying it with a towel.
- That’s odd, by all accounts I had been getting gradually smaller.
- I’ve maybe lost an inch or two by now, and yet I’m looking down at
- Robert’s eyes.
- “Uh... Eric, what are you doing?” Robert looked down and tilted
- his head. “Look, practice is good and all, but you don’t have hooves yet.”
- “I don’t know what you’re talkin-” I shook my head and looked
- down. “About...”
- I had been standing on the tips of my toes for some time now, and
- hadn’t even been aware of it. Simple mistake, anypony could make it. I’ll
- just lay my feet flat.
- I swung my arms around and Robert had to step out of the
- trajectory of the knife I had just lost my grip on. I tried to regain my
- balance but that just pitched me forward, which sent me right into Robert.
- It's a good thing he caught me and the impact was minimized. Apparently
- standing with my feet flat would require coordination, a degree of balance
- that previously would have been necessary to stand as I was now.
- Robert looked down at me, and for the first time since all of this
- started he looked actually afraid. The time for joking was over I guess. I
- grimaced and shoved myself out of his arms.
- “I’m okay, everything is fine.” I tried to right my feet again but
- gave up as soon as I started to lose my balance.
- ‘Damn it.’
- “Eric, can we speak in my room?” Robert mouthed the word now.
- I looked around to see if we were the only ones present, we were.
- I shrugged, but dutifully followed.
- When we got to his room Robert shut the door behind him. I trotted
- over to the bed before taking a seat. Robert made way to his computer
- chair and then spun around to face me.
- “Eric, I’m a little concerned.”
- “Oh?” I raised a brow at him. “You are only just now getting there? It’d
- be nice if we could ever be on the same page. I’m freaked out and you
- think it’s a joke. I’m okay with it and you start freaking out.” I rolled
- my eyes. “So what has you worried all of a sudden?”
- Robert’s eyes went wide and he started to lean back, and away from
- me. “Wait... You’re okay with this?” His voice started to carry, and I
- glared at him. He lowered his voice to a hiss. “I just got done talking to
- Josh. He’s convinced he’s some pony named Nightwatch now. He’s convinced
- you are actually Luna...”
- “So what if I am?” I leaned back to prop myself up against the
- wall. “I do have her cutiemark, don’t I? Why else would I have it?”
- “Yeah, well. Now Nightwatch has a tail.” Robert rubbed the bridge
- of his nose and looked at the ground. “She also has horse ears now.”
- “Pony ears.” I corrected. “And what of it? Did you for some reason
- think I was turning into some kind of humanized Luna?”
- “Why shouldn’t I have thought that? Until your feet started acting
- up, that is exactly what it looked like...” He looked me dead center in
- the eye. “You don’t have a problem with the idea of turning into an
- animal? Because I guarantee you, the world will have a problem with that.”
- I crossed my arms defensively and huffed. “Humans are animals as
- well.”
- He remained silent after that, and stared at me with disbelief.
- Finally, when it became evident that I had nothing more to say, he spoke
- up. “I told my friend Ed, he’s way into the occult.” He pointed at me with
- his index finger. “We’re going to find a way to fix you.”
- “I don’t want to be fixed...” I pulled away from him, and closer
- to the wall.
- Robert got out of the chair and pulled himself up onto the bed
- until we were facing each other. He reached out to hug me, and I didn’t
- have the heart to stop him.
- “Eric, if this happens... You won’t be able to stay here anymore.
- There’s no way we can keep a... a pony here.”
- “I wasn’t planning on staying here.” I replied matter of factly.
- “I was planning on going home and saving Celestia.”
- My exasperated brother released me from his embrace and collapsed
- on the bed. “Oh god... Eric? How far gone are you?”
- I sniffed and lifted my head with pride. “How far gone am I? You
- are lucky I respond to that name anymore.”
- “Just... please humor me on this? Please? I don’t want to lose my
- brother...”
- A surge of warmth radiated from my pendant, and my cutiemark. I
- found myself nodding before I had even consciously considered it.
- “...Okay.” I whispered. I could tell from the way Robert’s body went slack
- as the tension left him that he was relieved. “So what happens now?”
- “Now we go to the beach! If we can’t fix you, I at least want your
- last human memories to be of somewhere fun!”
- I tilted my head. “But it’s the middle of the night. Doesn’t that
- sort of defeat the purpose of going to the beach?”
- “You don’t think it’s worth going to the beach, because it’s
- nighttime? That doesn’t sound very Lunaish, you know.”
- I laughed at that. “Yeah, I dunno it’s just...” I felt a very
- strange pang of longing, a kind of homesickness that used to haunt me in
- the past as a kid, but never like this. “I think the night sky here is
- just going to make me miss the sky back home even more. If that makes
- sense...”
- Robert’s smile faltered and I could tell that he was as upset and
- confused as I was, but he pressed on anyway. “Well, the cool ocean breeze
- will do us some good. It’s not healthy to be cooped up in this dusty town
- all the time.”
- “Yeah, I won’t argue with you there!” I smiled and hopped up off
- of the bed. “So uh... Just let me get changed first, I guess.”
- “Sure thing.” Robert smiled in return and left the room. It seemed
- to me that he was just happy to get his way in this.
- The door closed with a soft click, and I got off the bed to
- rummage through my bag of clothes. It was sorta hard to imagine ever not
- needing them, but when I thought about it, I really wasn’t going to need
- them much longer. I wasn’t sure if I should feel liberated or horrified
- about that.
- I decided if we were going to the beach I might get a little wet, even at
- this hour. So I decided on a pair of dark blue cargo shorts that had
- always been too big for me, but by now were massive. I grabbed a belt to
- hold them up, and a black t-shirt to complete the outfit.
- I stripped down before going to the mirror to inspect myself. It was
- incredibly awkward to even consider that a thing worth doing, but then
- again I had spent the entire day wrapped up in either clothes or blankets,
- or both. I kinda wanted to see if anything important had changed.
- My reflection was pretty... Captivating? Different? I’m not sure
- how to describe it. Without my clothes on I could easily see how much of
- me had changed. I didn’t even have a spec of body hair on me, anywhere.
- This struck me as odd, because I’m pretty sure women have some of that
- themselves... I shook my head. It seemed logical to assume that the hair
- could just turn into fur, but apparently it was just easier to shed all of
- it and grow magical horse fur from scratch.
- My hair had finished up its own changes as well. I now had an
- abundance of long light blue hair that did a very good job of resembling
- Luna’s mane in season one. Although it twisted to frame my face in a
- manner that really should have required a stylist, I could tell it was
- definitely starting to grow more lengthwise, as opposed to evenly spaced.
- In a general way, I pretty much did look like a humanized Luna.
- Aside from the chest and uh... Down below, that is. There was a faint glow
- surrounding my cutiemark that could not have been just from it catching
- the moonlight from the window, as it was evenly illuminated on both hips.
- Somehow just staring at it made all of the changes feel connected and
- according to plan. It felt like a sign that things were going to improve.
- Like I had labored under some kind of illness that was only just now
- starting to clear up. Despite my building anxiety over the past few days,
- staring at this just relaxed me. I could probably stare at those stupid
- marks literally for hours, but was interrupted by a sharp pain from my
- rear.
- If you’ve ever tried to sit in a chair that didn’t exist, only to slam
- down onto your tailbone, it was pretty much like that. I fell forward and
- gripped the dirty brown carpet with trembling hands. There was nothing
- subtle or quick about this change at all. It felt like segments of
- something that never existed were snapping back into place.
- ‘I guess I’m getting my tail then...’ I thought with a grimace.
- Very weird, I would have thought it would be more of a snaking... growing
- feeling? This was like getting struck by a really thick rubber band over
- and over again, and each time it hit you it was a little further out than
- it should have been.
- Finally the sensation stopped, and I collapsed onto the floor
- completely. I took in a few deep breaths to center myself and lifted
- myself up as best I could with my legs folded under me and my hands on the
- ground on either side of them.
- It was hard to say what had been the bigger change, my cutiemark
- first appearing or the tail that was now curled loosely around my side. I
- rose to my feet and covered the lower half of my face with a hand. Yup...
- Definitely humanized Luna at this point.
- I reached out to touch my tail, which is a thought process most
- people will never get to follow. That was an idea that brought me some
- amusement, at least. The hair was the same colour as my mane, and roughly
- the same texture, albeit a bit smoother? The feeling in it was very numb
- for the time being, and it twitched occasionally. I guess that makes
- sense, adjusting, adapting, whatever. It was like a limb that had been
- asleep for as long as I could remember, and was only just starting to stir
- with renewed blood flow.
- Someone knocked on the door, and this drove me out of my
- introspective state of mind. I needed to do something about this tail
- before I could get dressed, but was drawing a blank. I could hear a bit of
- arguing on the other side of the door, and the doorknob started to turn a
- bit from weight being applied to it.
- I pulled my shirt on over my head, and could feel my hair tickle
- my back. It was definitely going to take some time getting used to having
- long hair now. It was such a weird sensation after a lifetime of cutting
- it short. I grabbed my shorts and slipped into them. Luckily they were big
- enough that my tail didn’t get caught on them, but it did trail out of one
- of the legs. I didn’t have time to fasten the belt before the door opened,
- so I just stood there with my hands in my pockets, trying to hold my
- shorts up.
- Robert was in the doorway arguing with John. They stopped talking
- when the door swung open and just glowered at each other. The scuffle
- ended when John broke eye contact and looked at me, and I shivered. I knew
- that look. I’ve given that look before... I think? In another time,
- another place? It was the look of Cain ready to have a go at Abel.
- John stormed off to him room in defeat once more, but I knew things were
- coming to a head in this household, and that was only going to get worse
- once my condition became common knowledge. Robert entered and closed the
- door with a sigh.
- “We’re going to have to do something about him soon, or he’s going
- to lash out.” I whispered.
- “I know.”
- “No, I mean he is really going to lash out,” I gulped. “Like
- Nightmare Moon style.”
- Robert snapped and kicked his desk before spinning around. “Then
- send him to the moon or something, right?” He growled.
- I shook my head, and proceeded to completely miss the point.
- “First of all, it was Celestia that did that... To me.” I considered for a
- moment. “Also I am pretty sure that would require the Elements of Harmony,
- and I don’t have those.”
- My brother just looked at me for awhile and squinted. “I was
- joking.” He looked me up and down, then fixed his eyes on my pant leg. “I
- see you got your tail then?”
- He looked much more nervous than before, and I guess I could
- sympathize. The hair thing had only started an hour or two ago, and now I
- had grown an entire tail. We didn’t need to voice the mutual
- understanding. The changes were getting faster.
- “Y-Yeah... I did.” My tail flicked slightly now that my attention
- was on it, though it was still for the most part restrained by my
- clothing. It was much less numb than before and somehow this boosted my
- spirits quite a bit. Part of me just wanted to reach down, pry it free,
- and hug it close. I’m not ashamed to admit it! The stupid thing was pretty
- valuable to me!
- ‘I bet I could spend hours just brushing it.’ I thought with glee.
- ‘It is important to maintain a fine appearance!’
- Well... That lit up my face like a lantern. I folded my hands
- behind my back, and my tail drooped with shame. I couldn’t keep the
- corners of my mouth from smiling, though. ‘Ha! My tail is expressing my
- emotions! That is so...’ I shook my head. ‘Normal? Why does it feel so
- normal?’
- Robert scrunched up his face about as effectively as a human can manage,
- and went over to his desk. “We should get going now, I guess. Before
- you’re on all fours or whatever...” He pulled open a drawer and dug around
- before coming back with a pair of scissors.
- I instinctively grabbed my tail with a hand and backed away, at some point
- it had pulled free of my excessively loose shorts and was swishing about
- with anxiety.
- “Oh chill out, I’m just making a hole.” He grabbed the waistband
- of my shorts and yanked me over roughly.
- A few snips and it was done. He let me go and I stepped back and
- away from him, still balanced on the tips of my toes. The hole he made was
- small, so it took some effort to fit my tail through, but that was
- probably for the better in the long run. I picked up my belt and fastened
- the thick cloth through the two metal rings that acted as a buckle. It was
- comical how much of it was dangling loosely on the other side. I guess my
- waist is just a bit thinner now, giant shorts aside.
- “There, now we can go to the stupid beach, and anyone who sees you
- will probably think you’re just some weird cos-player.” He shook his head.
- “Not that there will be anyone there but maybe a couple of drunks... It’s
- Tuesday night. We should be fine as long as we don’t go on the pier.”
- I nodded in agreement, and looked down when a familiar warm
- feeling started to flood my body. A soft glow could be seen coming from
- under the legs of my shorts, and Robert seemed to notice as well.
- “Oh christ, what now?!” He grabbed his keys and shoved himself
- into his jacket with disdain.
- The feeling spread up to my head and I began to feel incredibly
- dizzy, it focused in on my ears and I felt that annoying familiar twitch.
- I leaned back against the dresser to steady myself and reached up to see
- if my ears had changed.
- Nope, typical human ears, false alarm... I guess.
- Didn’t seem like the magic glow from my cutiemark was dying down
- anytime soon, though.
- “Let’s go...” Robert grumbled darkly, and led me out of the room.
- Somehow I got the distinct impression he was no longer so certain
- that our ‘Night on the Town’ was a good idea, but once he makes plans it’s
- pretty much impossible to get him to back off. So out we went.
- The ride to the beach was short and uneventful, even if it was on
- the other side of the city. The night was better than I thought it would
- be, that’s for certain. On more than one occasion Robert grabbed my
- shoulder and yanked my head back through the window. Evidently enjoying
- the cool night wind in your mane is against the law. He did not take my
- comment regarding the creation of new laws very seriously.
- We parked in a lot at the base of the winding staircase that went
- up to the pier. It was dark here, and Robert was convinced no one that
- really mattered could see me that way. Robert’s car had seen better days,
- the beat up Honda Civic was road-worthy, but I didn’t envy Robert the
- money he was using to keep it on life support. I started to wonder how he
- could afford school, a car, and his wild lifestyle with just a part time
- job at a call center. He must do a lot of saving during the summer months.
- The beach was so much colder than our little town had been, and I
- wrapped my arms around myself and shivered. Body hair accounts for more
- warmth than people seem to give it credit for. Or maybe that’s just part
- of the whole changing thing.
- It didn’t last long though, another surge of warmth from my cutie
- mark, and suddenly I didn’t feel quite so cold. My ears flicked in
- confusion and for once had the mobility to follow through. I reached up
- with a clumsy hand and jumped a bit when they caressed soft fur.
- ‘Jeez, pony ears and a tail, it’s going to be really hard to
- muster a poker face from now on...’ My ears wilted back to prove my point
- for me.
- Robert stared at me when it happened, I think it was the first
- time he had actually seen the transformation in action. He did not seem
- put at ease by it, instead he folded his arms and leaned against the side
- of his car. He looked more miserable than I've ever seen.
- I stood balanced on the tips of my bare feet and folded my arms
- behind my back. It helped with posture. “So what are we doing now?”
- “We’re waiting.” Robert replied curtly.
- My newly equine ears flicked with curiosity and I tilted my head
- in response. “Waiting for what?”
- “Them,” he responded as an old beat up station wagon pulled into a
- spot adjacent to us. After the vehicle finished parking and shutting down,
- two men hopped out and marched on over. They complimented each other, I
- will admit that much. One was tall and thin, the other was short and
- rather portly.
- The short one had an unkempt collection of brown hair that was probably as
- close as a human is going to get to having a mane. His face was unshaven,
- though he lacked any significant beard or cultivated facial hair. He wore
- a pentacle around his neck and wore a shirt advertising some band that was
- definitely too edgy for me. I was altogether unimpressed. It was hard for
- me to respect the kind of man who came to a beach wearing combat boots.
- The tall one had a far more conservative look about him, though
- his partner was a textbook unwashed male, he was a bit more elegant and
- clean. He wore a silvery gray shirt and dark gray shorts with a pair of
- black sandals. Around one wrist was a thick silver bracelet with the
- different phases of the moon carved into it. It didn’t quite fit his
- skinny wrist, but I thought it was wonderful all the same.
- Robert approached the short one and essentially tackled him in a
- hug, which was returned, albeit with less enthusiasm. The tall one seemed
- incredibly uncomfortable.
- “Edward! I’m so glad to see you! Thanks for coming out man!” My
- brother spared no time identifying the fat one, and I bristled quietly.
- “What’s the meaning of this? I thought we were supposed to do this
- later! Something about one last night to relax or whatever?” I glared
- imperiously from my position on raised toes.
- Edward stalked toward me with a look of naked wonder on his face.
- A fascination he quickly struggled to disguise as he attempted to make
- idle conversation. “Wow Robert, you weren’t kidding.”
- Robert awkwardly greeted the tall man before turning to face me
- and my displeasure. “And uh... Hey Andrew, how are things with Ann?”
- “We broke up.” Andrew replied in a deadpan voice that made Robert
- wince and immediately switch social targets.
- “Listen... Eric, I’m sorry to spring this on you, but you’ve
- noticed it as much as I have. The changes are happening more quickly.” He
- shook his head. “We may not even have another night, but I don’t see why
- we can’t just hang out. You can answer a few of Edward’s questions and we
- can walk along the cliffs or whatever!”
- My tail and ears made my unhappiness known with a few sharp
- flicks. “Fine, I guess I don’t see the harm in that...” The things I do
- for my family.
- Edward spared no time getting right up in my face. I raised a brow
- at him as he curiously paced around me, scrutinizing my every feature.
- Andrew looked almost as embarrassed as I felt. There was a sharp sting
- from my tail and I cried out before whirling around against the nosy
- little rat.
- “What do you think you’re doing? That’s enough!”
- Edward stood absolutely still, a light blue strand of hair from my
- tail still held between his thumb and forefinger. He quietly slid it into
- the pocket of his jacket and dusted his hands.
- “Sorry about that... Just wanted to see if it was real is all.” He
- narrowed his eyes at Robert. “Your brother has gone to greater lengths
- than this to prank me before.”
- My lips tightened into a frown. “I’m sure.”
- “Listen, can we just try to calm things down?” Robert wormed his
- way between the two of us in an effort to diffuse a territorial dispute.
- “Let's just start walking, alright?”
- We all followed after Robert, some of us more meekly than others.
- The pier acted as a sort of divider between the sand of the beach and the
- rough wave sculpted rock of the cliffs. Even at night you could see the
- myriad things etched into the stone by bored passersby and love struck
- couples with a swiss army knife on hoof.
- Or hand, for that matter.
- We finally reached a quiet spot without any illumination and
- settled down. I sat on the edge of the cliffs with my feet dangling just
- far enough over the side for the waves to tickle them as they rose up.
- Andrew was amazingly less shy when he took off his sandals and sat beside
- me, though it was obvious he was doing his best to not look in my
- direction. Sometimes he did anyway, and I would catch him blushing.
- I felt odd about that. It wasn’t that I was flattered or offended
- by it. What was peculiar was my absence of feeling one way or another.
- There was only a nebulous understanding that we were not even in the same
- class. We may as well have been different species. I guess pretty soon
- that would actually be the case, but still.
- Robert and Edward were off discussing things. My ears swiveled to
- hone in on their conversation, but I found it uninteresting for the most
- part. Edward wanted to know why they hadn’t taken me to his place instead
- of going on this insipid adventure first, and Robert wanted to know why Ed
- was being so insensitive.
- I peered up at the sky. The stars were difficult to see through
- the marine layer, but the moon was big and bright. It would be full soon,
- I knew.
- ‘It will be full in 31 hours.’ I mused quietly, and then blinked.
- Wait... What?
- I leaned onto my back with my arms crossed behind my head and
- stared up at the moon. Something felt off about it, was it too small? Too
- distant? Was it just the nature of it in general? I had a sinking feeling
- that I wouldn’t be altering the course of day and night anytime soon.
- Maybe having an intimate understanding of its cycle was just the best I
- could manage? I closed my eyes and felt the gentle pull of its gravity
- against the water around me. It was a soothing feeling, and I could just
- imagine reaching out to that force, greeting it warmly like a distant
- relation, and then gently mani-
- Searing pain unlike anything I had ever felt before raged through
- my skull and shot through the rest of my body. I screamed very loudly, and
- in a shrill high voice. I grabbed at the sides of my head as if that would
- somehow contain things, even as I started kicking and thrashing about. I
- could feel Andrew’s hands wrap around my wrists before being pinned to the
- slick rock, then a moment of hesitation as he climbed on top of me to keep
- me from slipping into the water.
- “Eric!?” Robert’s voiced sounded distant despite its urgency. I
- heard the sound of heavy footfalls, and felt someone lifting my necklace
- up over my head before replacing it with something else. My thighs were on
- fire and the pain in my head was only getting worse. Even so, I managed to
- open my eyes and look at what was happening.
- Edward was staring at me in wonder, Andrew had been shoved off of
- me and was on his rear, limbs splayed out to catch himself, and Robert's
- hands were gripping my shoulders tightly. He was shaking me back and forth
- and crying.
- “See? I told you we should have just taken her to my place.”
- Edward grumbled.
- I was starting to fade and lose consciousness, but I wasn’t giving
- up without a fight.
- “Shut up and help me get him to the car...” Robert grunted and
- placed his arms around me before trying to stand up.
- Edward reached into his jacket and pulled out a small but thick
- metal bar, it was painted a dull gray and reflected no moonlight. He
- raised it into the air and brought it down on the back of Robert’s head.
- That expression would have been funny under less violent
- circumstances. Robert’s mouth dropped open as though he were trying to
- exaggerate an ‘O’ sound, and his eyes were wide. He dropped me, my impact
- with the ground only made me fade faster. He fell to his knees and slowly
- turned to face Edward. He was confused, and I could tell the blow was
- almost certainly a knock out.
- Edward reached out with his foot and shoved Robert off the side of
- the cliff and into the water. “We’ll take mine, thanks.” He placed the bar
- back into his jacket and turned to Andrew, who honestly looked more
- startled than Robert had, if that were possible.
- “Come on, help me get her to the car.”
- That’s about when I lost consciousness.
- The sun was too bright, and the ground was too hot to walk on with
- my bare feet. Why feet and not hooves, I wondered? I danced from foot to
- foot and raced in the only direction I had time to consider, straight
- ahead. Time didn’t really make sense, and I was in too much pain to keep
- track anyway.
- Eventually I did reach a comforting blanket of shadow, and
- abruptly the sun was gone. In its place was a glorious and peaceful night
- sky that was littered with diamonds of gentle light, and in the center of
- it all, a brilliant comforting moon. A real one, not the tiny placeholder
- I had grown up with.
- I trotted forward on my hooves and looked around. I felt at peace. This
- was a sanctuary for me, and I could spend hours exploring every inch and
- never be less enchanted by it.
- I came to a massive rock wall, and in the side was a fissure large enough
- to form a narrow canyon. I had to wriggle through at first before the area
- really opened up, but when it did I had to take a breath to steady myself.
- The moon was hovering overhead, and was so large the opening in the rock
- above me could not fit its entirety. The light from above reflected off
- the walls and gave everything a faint silvery glow. It reminded me vaguely
- of a memory in some other place. A place where I stood on two legs and my
- cutie mark had only just appeared, glowing with that same light. I shook
- my head to clear it of such outlandish thoughts and proceeded deeper.
- The air here was thin and damp, and reminded me of altitudes one
- might reach while napping on a cloud. The wind sang through the chambers
- and carved the layers of rock into a monochromatic rainbow while also
- tugging at my mane and tail. My wings I kept firmly tucked into my sides
- to avoid unnecessary discomfort. In certain areas I could see drawings,
- little cave paintings of a time when the sun and the moon had been
- friends.
- It seemed over time, such had stopped being the case.
- The narrow passageway curved outwards rather abruptly and formed a
- large chamber, and upon entering it the crack behind me slammed together
- like some great burden had been lifted off of it. I jumped away from it,
- flapping my wings restlessly and alighting on the ground with the soft
- patter of gilded hooves. I turned away from the wall, content that my
- safety was no longer in jeopardy.
- The moon could be seen, clear and completely, from the much wider
- opening. It radiated magic down to the ground I walked until it was like a
- wellspring of moonlight. In the center of the chamber was a massive dial.
- Many circles trailed the circumference of the dial, and in each sat a
- reflection of myself. At the start was a human man I could only barely
- associate with, in each circle it became increasingly me, increasingly a
- pony, but even when it was completely a pony it was not completely myself.
- Its mane was the soft light blue of my youth, and it did not drift in the
- air on winds that did not exist. The circles winded back around until the
- pony was a human once more. The focus of the moonlight danced around and
- centered on each it its own time, and I could sense that the dial itself
- was a source of great confusion. Though I knew not to what.
- I circled the dial cautiously, doing my best to sate my curiosity
- from a safe distance. Aside from the obvious there was nothing truly
- remarkable about it. There were no more clues as to its nature, but I
- could not help but feel attracted to it. It had a certain gravity all its
- own that made me want to come closer, and closer...
- I shook my head to clear it of the strange effect. Something was
- happening in the sky above, and it demanded my immediate attention. The
- sun had finally caught up to me, it looked like. Every inch that its light
- claimed in my sanctuary felt invasive, and I scooted back in fear until my
- rear was pressed up against the cold stone wall on the opposite side.
- The sun pushed the moon out of the sky, and the ground shook with
- the occasional shard that crashed down from the impact. Springs of
- moonlight bubbled up from the ground where they landed, only to be dried
- up by the light of the sun, which slowly crept toward me and was now
- beginning to land on the dial.
- The construct shifted and screeched under the oppressive gleam,
- and a single solitary shadow landed on a phase in between pony and human,
- an occurrence that to me appeared quite auspicious. I didn’t have too much
- time to dwell on this, because the entire thing, reflections and all,
- collapsed into a twitching pool of liquid darkness. It oozed over and away
- from the sunlight. Which of course meant it was heading in my direction.
- I could not stop myself. I screamed, begged, and pleaded for the
- sun to halt its jealous advance. I tried to tell it what it was doing from
- my pathetic place down on the ground, but it either did not hear me or did
- not care. The caustic liquid was almost upon me, and I took wing in
- earnest. It didn’t do me much good.
- Tendrils lashed out like a frightened child or animal, and wrapped
- themselves around me in an embrace that choked the air out of me and
- pulled me down. I felt cold all over, but at least I was safe from the
- sunlight. As long as I was surrounded by that eternal night it would be
- safe, and so would I. Even if I was human, and I noted with some dismay
- that I was. I was even male to add insult to injury, though my abdomen
- ached and burned with a persistence that was really starting to get to me.
- That, coupled with a burning from my thighs, dragged me from that pitch
- black pool and into the searing light of day. I opened my eyes and
- screamed.
- The sun was in my eyes when I woke up, and it was blinding. That
- didn’t do a lot to distract me from the unbearable agony I was feeling
- just south of my waistband, though. My cutiemark was burning with enough
- energy to make my legs twitch and my toes curl in like some cruel mockery
- of hooves. It was a safe bet that I was changing again, and given where
- those changes were centered I was convinced I didn’t want to watch.
- I groaned and thrashed about while tears slowly trickled down my
- face. I didn’t sob, but there were times when I certainly wanted to. It
- had probably only been a few minutes, but it felt like hours before the
- pain finally receded. I stole a glance down the front of my shorts just to
- check on things and sighed. Yup, I was definitely a she now. Time to make
- a full scale assault on the birth certificate, we can get that pesky name
- out of the way while we’re at it. Eric is a terrible name for a girl. Luna
- would be far more appropriate.
- This definitely was not the cliffs where I had passed out, either.
- I was having difficulty remembering what had happened there just in
- general. Whatever happened it couldn’t have ended well, because I was in
- some tiny room with a bowl of water and a bowl of cheap store bought
- salad. Around my neck was a thick but relatively pliant leather cuff that
- was attached to a really thick and durable looking chain. The chain itself
- was wrapped around a support beam for the ceiling. If I had to guess I’d
- say I was in some kind of cabin. The room was clear of items, aside from
- the kind of cheap bed comforter you might find in a Walmart, and a large
- pot nearby. There wasn’t even a clock for me to keep track of the time.
- ‘Pretty sure it’s 4:32 in the afternoon, anyway...’ I thought
- bitterly. Evidently my knowledge of the moon extended to what time of day
- it was.
- Sparing a final scrutinizing look around the room, I decided that
- random knack would actually prove useful. It didn’t look like I was going
- anywhere anytime soon at least.
- The room was painted with occult symbols of all sorts, and
- apparently some of them were still drying. So my makeshift cell was a
- recent development. Around each of my wrists was a small metal cuff of
- some rough metal, and both were held shut with simple Masterlocks. They
- weren’t attached to anything though, which had me vaguely confused.
- This was all very weird, and somehow painfully familiar. The
- events from the night before started to trickle back to me in reverse, and
- I felt nothing but outrage. I tugged at the chain around my neck
- half-heartedly. I already knew I wouldn’t be breaking it, not like this.
- Maybe when things finish up I can buck the support beam, or rip the chain
- apart with magic, or something.
- Speaking of magic, what the hell had happened to my head last
- night? It felt like someone stabbed me with a red hot poker. Not that I’ve
- ever actually felt that, but I feel comfortable with my comparison. I
- reached up tentatively and poked around, and yelped when my hand brushed
- up against a narrow protrusion coming out of my skull.
- It wasn’t as long as in the show yet, but it was pretty close in
- size to an average unicorn horn. A thought occurred to me: ‘I wonder if I
- can do magic?’
- I licked my lips with anticipation, and well, also because they
- felt pretty dry. What was I going to try first? I turned about in my cell
- with my tail swishing erratically, and searched for something worthwhile.
- ‘Right! The chain! It couldn’t hurt to start there!’
- I stared at the length of metal links until my eyes started to go
- cross, and thumped my foot against the hardwood floor in irritation when
- things didn’t seem to take.
- ‘I don’t even know what I am doing...’
- I grit my teeth and growled before releasing my frustration with a
- high pitched yell. “Stupid chain! Break!”
- A crackling feeling filled my mind and faint midnight blue sparks
- flared from the tip of my horn. The chain was abruptly seized in an aura
- of the same colour.
- “Wha-”
- I didn’t have time to vocalize my confusion, the aura gave a sharp
- yank on the chain. I yelped and reached up for the collar around my neck
- just as I was pulled with the chain and slammed into the support beam. My
- vision filled with stars and I started choking for air.
- The door to my room slammed open and in its place stood a very
- irritated looking Edward. “What the hell is going on here!?” He stomped
- over to where I was curled up, but took a step back when a few errant
- sparks flew from my horn.
- “Oh you know, just trying to break free of this chain. The usual
- thing someone does when you KIDNAP THEM.” My voice elevated in volume
- towards the end, and he blinked like this was the first time he’d heard my
- voice.
- Edward grumbled to himself and started pacing around the room. I
- glared at him from my spot on the floor, but didn’t get up.
- “Of course I kidnapped you! Whatever is happening to you, whatever
- the hell you are, it’s magic! Do you know how fucking long I’ve been
- trying to get that right?” He took a step toward me. “How long we have
- been trying to get that right?” He shook his head. “The hell does it
- matter to you if we collect a few strands of hair or take some blood
- samples? You’re lucky I don’t take a hacksaw to that horn and try it for a
- wand.”
- “Are you absolutely serious? That is disgusting!” I finally rose
- to my feet, and he crept back a bit in surprise. “You’re a disgusting
- individual! When I get out of this I swear I’m going t—”
- I’m really running out of creative ways to describe how much
- something hurts, suffice it to say my threat was cut off when the bones in
- my feet started to crunch together, and left me with an ultimately more
- equine alternative to human feet. I wailed out and collapsed onto my rear,
- then I wailed out again because I landed on my tail. I looked down and
- noticed that my new feet—Horses still have those, I reminded myself, only
- the hard bit is called a hoof—didn’t even have any fur covering them. The
- hoof itself was a light shade of blue, so it would blend in with the fur
- when it did start growing in. But at the moment it was kind of disgusting.
- I did my best to focus my attention on Edward instead.
- “I don’t really think I have much to worry about. Every time you
- get uppity, some new change seems to incapacitate your ass.” Edward
- replied smugly. “I don’t have time for you right now, Andrew will be by in
- a bit to check your food and water.”
- All I could do for now was glare at him as he slammed the door
- behind him. I can’t imagine myself ever wishing that I could just hurry up
- and be a pony more than that moment. I turned to reach out for the
- comforter to huddle against, or at least to cover my hooves with it. A
- snap sounded from my horn that startled me, and I realized that I had
- forgotten to reach out for it with my hands, a soft blue aura was holding
- it in the air before me, and as soon as I realized what was happening it
- fluttered to the ground softly.
- I stared at it for a few moments before reaching out and pulling
- it over me.
- It turns out that Andrew coming by soon actually meant Andrew
- would be coming by three hours later. Also, I found out what the large pot
- was for. You think you can cope with these sorts of things, you think
- you’ve had plenty of dreams where you walked on hooves and everything
- worked out just fine. The reality was quite a bit different, and the
- second I put weight on my feet so as to stand, a wave of vertigo overtook
- me.
- I am not ashamed to say I threw up. I actually take pride in the
- truth that I had the presence of mind to aim for the pot.
- Things got better quickly. I adapted, and it wasn’t as though it
- was unfamiliar to me. Like every other change there was a faint euphoria,
- a sensation that this was right and somehow true. I wasn’t sure if that
- was positive reinforcement from my body to help me cope, or if it was just
- memories welling up from inside of me.
- The water bowl was emptied by me using the liquid to clean my
- mouth. I drank whatever was leftover, and ate the salad to replace what I
- had lost. By the time Andrew came in he actually had work to do.
- The youth was dressed all in black now, but not in some goth
- style. He wore slacks and a collared shirt, for example. Though he did
- seem altogether miserable, which I suppose is a fairly goth thing to be.
- It was hard to not feel sorry for him, even considering my own
- predicament.
- “Andrew, was it?” I inquired politely. “Would it be alright if I
- asked you a question?”
- “Uhm...” He started stacking the bowls gently. “Yes?”
- “Why is it in every hostage situation where there are partners,
- one of them is a ruthless asshole, and the other one is an actual human
- being?” I smiled at him mischievously. “Am I supposed to show you the
- magic of friendship and redeem you or something? Because I can totally do
- that you know, pony and stuff.”
- He stopped what he was doing and just stared at me. There wasn’t a
- flicker of mirth or agitation. If anything he seemed a little confused.
- “Not yet,” he replied softly.
- He looked down at his watch to check the time, and I decided to
- take this opportunity and build a foundation for myself as spooky and
- wise.
- “It’s 7:48.”
- He stared at his watch and then looked back up at me. “How did you
- know that?” Again, no emotion, just confusion.
- “I’m turning into a pony princess that is partially responsible
- for controlling day and night, and you’re surprised that I can tell what
- time it is?”
- Andrew nodded as if that explained everything, which I suppose technically
- it had. He moved over to the large bowl and then looked back up at me.
- “Are you sick?”
- A hint of concern? I’ll bite. “Not anymore,” I replied.
- “Okay.” He placed the stacked bowls into the large pot. Then stood
- up and made way for the door. He hesitated there, though. “Is it true? Do
- you have that mark, I mean?” He looked at the floor like he was breaking
- some kind of rule. “Edward looked you over when he brought you here, but I
- didn’t think it was very polite to do the same... Guess it seemed
- unnecessary.”
- “What, you mean my cutiemark?”
- He nodded slowly. “If that’s what you call it, I guess.”
- I pulled at the waistband of my shorts and lowered them just
- enough for him to see the crescent moon and night sky on my thigh. He
- blinked in amazement.
- “You are touched by the goddess...” He made some kind of gesture
- and bowed his head according to some practice I didn’t recognize.
- “Psh... Implying I’m not the moon goddess.” I replied. “Or at
- least as close as this place is going to get.” I lifted my wrists up and
- emphasized the makeshift manacles. “I showed you my little coming of age
- mark, what are these for?”
- “They’re iron, Edward thinks they’ll dampen your magic and keep
- him safe.”
- “And what do you think? Am I some mean Fairy that is going to
- carry you away from your family?”
- He shook his head, once again emotionless. “I think they’re not
- cold-iron, so it wouldn’t matter if you were.”
- He turned, opened the door, and left. About thirty minutes later
- he came back in with fresh supplies. The water was a bit cleaner and cold
- instead of room temperature, and the salad had dressing on it and a
- plastic fork to go with it. He placed all of these down on the floor just
- out of reach, and stopped.
- “Edward says you can move things with your horn now. He told me to
- make you use your magic.” He turned back to the doorway to see if anyone
- was watching. Then he scooted the salad and water a bit closer with his
- foot.
- He left the room in silence and closed the door behind him. I
- shook my head and spoke to the room, or myself.
- “Why is there one in every story?”
- They didn’t come at night, and I was curious why that was. Surely
- Andrew had to be one who would celebrate the night, and Edward seemed far
- too driven for sleep. I wondered if he was making any progress with his
- little experiments.
- My primary concern was cabin fever. I tried to get some sleep to
- escape the worst of it, but as soon as that sun went down sleep was just
- impossible. I was far from unengaged, though. I could feel the moon move
- through the sky all on its own. It was like watching your kid learn to
- ride a bicycle, and made me feel strangely homesick.
- I was curled up on my side to accommodate my increasingly pony
- body, though at the moment my new hooves were still the only change. At
- around midnight wisps of light fur began streaking there way up from my
- hooves. An hour later it was hard to tell where the hard nail of my hoof
- ended and the fur began. It was starting to look a bit less unnatural, and
- I was honestly a bit relieved. I was worried I would look weird and I
- don’t know... A bit more realistic than what is depicted in the show? That
- did not seem to be the case. Heck, even the colour had an usual cast to
- it. The colour just didn’t feel like it belonged here with everything
- else.
- As I mentioned, I wasn’t bored. I was quite content to lay there
- tuned into the moon like some kind of mystery transmission. My horn was
- growing along with the fur, I could tell. If I concentrated enough I could
- almost feel it winding its way out like a corkscrew through my skull. It
- was developing a pretty nasty point, too. That would be a pretty handy
- weapon if Edward couldn’t find a way to deal with it first.
- By the time dawn began its approach, my legs were almost
- completely covered in fur. The growth was strangely comforting and
- reminded me of how ticklish I was. I laughed more than a few times, and
- when it reached the point where it started to overlap with my cutie mark,
- I took a look at it. It was perfect, I don’t really know how else to put
- it. It was like my cutie mark had sat in the center of a blank canvas, and
- now the rest of that was being filled in. They fit together perfectly. My
- legs bent to take on a much more appropriate shape around the same time,
- and I stopped bothering with the whole walk like a human thing. It’s a
- good thing I wasn’t able to escape, because well... I wouldn’t have been
- able to escape anyway.
- The sun was officially up when I felt a sharp stab in my back. I
- did my best to take off my shirt and take a look. because of the chain
- around my neck, my shirt was now abandoned and sent down the length of the
- chain until it was against the support beam.
- A pair of tiny wings were growing from my back, which definitely explained
- the pain. They weren’t growing out from the top, you know, like a pair of
- angel wings or whatever? These were almost actually coming from my sides,
- in the middle. I was pretty sure that once they were finished growing
- their proper home would be tucked in along my sides, not along my back.
- ‘Wings! I can’t believe I’m going to have wings again!’
- ‘I mean... I can’t believe I’m going to have wings for the first
- time ever.’
- When Andrew came in at around 10:16, he found me curled up on top
- of the comforter as if I were a pony already. The lower half of my body
- was totally equine, and my tail flicked about like a slow metronome. His
- eyes widened when he saw my wings, the same way they had widened when he
- saw my cutiemark. I didn’t blame him. They were starting to get pretty
- big, I could even move them a little bit, and I stretched them out a bit
- just to display them with pride.
- The sun was streaming in through a skylight, and was already
- starting to put me to sleep. So I wasn’t much for conversation. He
- replaced the food and water in my bowls and made to leave.
- “Thank you.” I whispered politely.
- He just nodded in an embarrassed and awkward fashion, then left.
- It was getting really hard to use my hands. I couldn’t manipulate
- the provided fork with them, and I was really glad to have my horn
- already, because I just didn’t have the face structure to be eating
- directly from the bowl. I couldn’t do much yet, but I could move things
- around. All it took was a little imagination on my part. That mysterious
- transmission was a good teacher, and I snatched up the fork in a gravity
- all my own. The salad may have been cheap, but it was tasting better
- increasingly, and I noticed more good stuff was finding its way in. This
- time there were even cucumbers.
- I shuddered, picked those out, and hid them. I couldn’t really put
- my hoof on it, but I just didn’t want to eat them. I also didn’t want
- Andrew to know I hated his little offering. The rest of the salad was
- delicious, and grinding it down between my teeth was taking less and less
- effort. Those must have changed too. I was going to need to brush them
- soon, I wondered if I could get Andrew to smuggle me in a toothbrush.
- I finished my dinner and smiled before curling up around my
- comforter. I knew I should probably be a little more pissed off, a little
- more afraid, but it was getting really hard. Everything felt perfect,
- everything was just... eventual. I didn’t need to worry about my human
- life anymore, I was a captive, for the time being I reminded myself. My
- mother’s deep seated childhood issues weren’t my problem anymore. John
- wasn’t my problem anymore. Robert was...
- I started to cry, gentle tears streamed down my face and I pulled
- the blanket a little tighter between my curled hands. How could I let
- myself be calm like this? My brother was probably dead because of me. I
- was a terrible sister, and I deserved to be locked away like this.
- I dwelled on those thoughts and slowly fell into sleep. That cold
- feeling from before was more intense than ever, and even the warmth of my
- cutiemark seemed faint in comparison.
- That crater again, my sanctuary. The moon wasn’t in the sky
- though, it was at my feet. I lifted a forehoof and inspected it curiously.
- It was difficult to imagine, but hadn’t that been something else recently?
- Ah, a dream then.
- I cantered around the little cell and felt that it was altogether
- familiar. I rested on my haunches and considered. I did not think I would
- be able to fly up and out, that did not seem possible to me in the context
- of the dream.
- The dial was as recondite as ever, the shadow that it cast was now
- much closer to the circle that was purely a pony. I must have struggled
- with it for hours, but I could neither change it, nor discern its purpose.
- Then the sun began to rise, and its light poured into my cell. So
- not a dream then, a nightmare. I did my best to puzzle out an escape, but
- there was none. I had no friends here, no family with dreams I could
- escape to.
- The dial twisted and melted into liquid night again, and just like
- before it swept toward me like a tide. I didn’t even bother resisting this
- time. When it reached me I was curled up in a ball, and I stayed that way
- when it dragged me under.
- It was cold, very cold, but once again that wasn’t such a bad
- thing after the heat of the sun. I drifted in that place for longer than I
- could count. Sometimes it felt like I had to take a breath, so I did, and
- I breathed it in.
- It hurt at first, it felt a bit like I was choking. I am reminded
- of the first time I tried Greek yogurt, and how difficult it was to
- swallow. The suffocating feeling was something I could press on through,
- but not the series of sharp pains in my side and belly. My eye twitched
- and I felt at once enraged and terrified.
- The darkness melted away, but I still had more than a bit of it
- with me, and with determination born of anger, I rose to meet the sun.
- “Wake up you stupid horse!” That was what I had the good fortune
- to wake up to. That and Edward’s boot against my side. It hurt, but not a
- lot. Either I was made of stronger stuff now, or he just wasn’t very
- strong. It could be a little bit of both, I snorted.
- “Hey! Watch her wing!” Andrew called out with concern. Guess he
- does have a will of his own. So he wasn’t being mind controlled then, good
- for him.
- “Like I give a fuck about her wing! We need to figure out how to
- get this stuff to work! She can use magic and we can’t! I’ve seriously
- tried everything, I even went full on Harry Potter and used her tail hair
- for a wand core!”
- It was nighttime now, the moon was already in the sky, and shining
- directly down through the skylight to greet me. It was full. I was full
- too, I noted. My hands were gone, my face was utterly alien, and I was
- covered with fur all over. I rose to my hooves and battled with another
- bout of vertigo. It wouldn’t be dignified to lose my lunch right here in
- front of this villain. I stretched my wings and yawned.
- “What the hell do you want, Ed?” I ran a hoof through the fur
- along my side to clean it of some dirt that had come loose from his boot.
- “We are trying to get our beauty sleep.”
- “Don’t get all royal we on me! I want answers.” He grabbed a chair
- that was new to the room and moved to sit down. I turned my head and
- inspected a hoof demurely, my horn lit up and the chair scooted an inch or
- two behind him. He crashed onto the ground with a yelp.
- “I don’t have any answers, at least not the ones you’re looking
- for.” I turned back to face him. “You’re just human, as far as I know. It
- sure does suck to be you.” I looked around the room and took a few paces
- forward. My shorts must have come loose during the transformation, because
- they collapsed into a pile behind me. “Look at all of this wasted
- effort...” He looked up at me from the floor, his face was incredibly red
- at this point. “It’s all bullshit, you know? There’s no magic in any of
- this. You wouldn’t know a friend if it bit you on the ass.”
- He jumped to his feet and pulled out that metal bar from before,
- the one he had used on my brother. I was faintly aware that Andrew was
- saying something, but I couldn’t hear it over Edward’s red rage of
- terrible revenge.
- “I am not in the mood for your arrogant princess bullshit! I’ll
- get the information I need if I have to cripple you for it!”
- I didn’t even have time to think. I flapped my wings once out of
- fear and took a step back, but he tackled me to the ground and started
- hitting me in the head over and over again with the bar. He didn’t seem to
- know where to aim the blow, but quantity was starting to make up for
- quality of hits. I was getting dizzy real fast, and cold all over. I
- reached up with a hoof to feel for the necklace Robert had given me, but
- it was gone. I dimly recalled losing it at the cliffs.
- Edward finally got off of me and dropped the bar onto the ground,
- there were a few traces of blood on it from where he’d managed to break
- the skin on my head. He was hyperventilating and looked like he was about
- to pass out.
- “Andrew, go get me the hacksaw...” He weezed out.
- But nothing happened.
- “Andrew, go get me the hacksaw, now.”
- He turned to focus his attention on his accomplice, but as it
- turned out, Andrew was nowhere to be seen.
- “Oh you son of a bitch!” Edward was back on his feet again and
- going full throttle. He stopped in the doorway and sneered at me. “Don’t
- you go anywhere Princess! I’ll be right back!”
- I didn’t go anywhere, and he was back a few minutes later while I
- was still struggling to clear my head. I saw the glint of metal, it was a
- blinding light, just like the sun. He was taunting me again, but I
- couldn’t quite make it out. Everything was so cold, I was sinking into a
- pool of ice water, and when the sharp edge of metal was placed against the
- base of my horn, it exploded.
- This was not a dream, I was sinking in that pool of liquid
- darkness for real this time. The harsh presence of metal didn’t exist. I
- heard a clattering sound. My cuffs and the chain around my neck clattered
- to the ground uselessly. They had nothing to hold onto anymore, I was
- insubstantial, just a cloud of dark night air.
- Just a nightmare.
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