SCP-I'm too lazy to look up the number again

>be me
>be d-class
>wake up
>another rejected mall cop drags me out of my cell
herewegoagain.jpeg
>brings me to a new chamber
>this one is a bit different from the rest though
>the monitors on the wall show not another eldritch monster, but a pinata?
>uhh ok I guess
>like always, doctor fuckin' egghead preps me before I go in
>makes me put on crocs and a propeller beanie
>ok wut
"Alright D-133769, all we need you to do is go in there and do some jumping jacks, alright?"
>"But wh-"
>before I can finish my question, officer sperg pushes me out the door as always
>guess I should just do what they told me to do
>start doing jumping jacks in front of the pink pinata
>get to 2 before my stupid neckbeard body can't handle any more
WHEEZEMODEACTIVATED
>try to get up and try to do some more
>suddenly lock up
>can't move
>is this a heart attack feels like?
>did my unhealthy lifestyle finally catch up to me?
>pink pinata horse starts moving towards me
>wait a minute
>this is just a stupid effect coming from the pinata, isn't it?
>I'm not gonna die now, I've had to deal with so much of this bullshit and I'm not gonna end up fucking dying from a pinata
>by sheer force of will, I manage to snap myself out of my paralysis
>pinata horse gets a weird look on its face, and then proceeds to charge at me
>roll my rotund body to the side in a crude impersonation of something I saw in a John Wick movie
it actually works
>pinata smashes into where I was supposed to be, looking dazed
>'run' to the farthest corner of the chamber
>that's when I see it
>it's not an 'it' but rather a 'she'
>see two holes on the pinata I've only seen in hentai, but by god, is it glorious
>if I am gonna die today, it's not gonna be as a virgin
>unzip my Foundation supplied orange cargo shorts
>adrenaline from the situation supplies as a steady blood flow to my hip region, revealing to the world my fully erect 3-inch dick
>'run' over to the still stunned pinata and pick her up
>whisper into her ear
>"I'm gonna fuck you harder than my body pillow, baby"
>If the pinata had blood, I'm pretty sure it would be draining from her face
>place the smaller of the two holes right over my wee-wee
>yell "IT'S GO TIME!" as I slam the pinata anus down onto my shaft
>screams are everywhere, from the pinata, from the security camera's intercom, and from me
>know I'm getting paper cuts, but the mixture of the pleasure and adrenaline prevent me from giving a fuck
>proceed to violently rape the pinata for the next 15 minutes
>at last, I shoot my 34 years of hot, sticky sexual neglect straight into the pinata's colon, all the while letting loose a screech that would put even the most autistic tard to shame
>the best feeling of my life washes throughout my body, better than any hand could produce
>as the pinata and I crumple to the floor, me panting, and the pinata sobbing, the containment blast door flies open
>office sperglord, with traces of vomit on his uniform, tries to drag me out of the chamber by my collar
>while he struggles to do so, I notice the damage done by my sexual rampage
>the pinata's anus, once a fleshlight sized 2 cm hole, now gapes a little over an inch wide, with pieces of Reece's Pieces and tootsie rolls slowly dripping out alongside my cream
>I don't resist sperglord, knowing full well that my ancestors now smile upon me
>once inside the monitoring room, I'm told to return back to my cell by Dr. Egghead, while his assistant is desperately trying to burn a VHS tape
>I walk out of the room unattended, the now-stained shorts still around my legs and the propeller beanie still on my head
>with a spring in my step and whistling a tune, I walk back to my cell, anyone who sees me not stopping me, but just gagging and running away
>I close the cell with myself inside and lie on my bed, pondering about the experience and the future

>I now know my purpose and what I must do


No SCP is safe from me, for I am the Pinata-Man.