The Exploding Rink #fate_ic 10/19/2017

DiscoDude: **---BEGIN SESSION---**
DiscoDude: **Session logging commenced**
Ommy: "...And that's why we aren't allowed to have a coffee machine anymore." The large vanguard, known as "Boss Lady" from her coworkers spoke at the end of her table to the people working, including both <@!Rotha> and <@!Garuda> . "This concludes today's issues from complaints about coffee beans in the products we fixed for the past month."

And as people were filing out of the room, she turns her attention to Garuda and Rotha, "Please tell me you two are willing to maybe, get some money for the company?"
Rotha: "Pfft! Whatta ya talkin' about?" Rotha laughs. "Me 'n Gary here, you ain't got two more profitable employees in this entire goshdarn shindig! Ain't that right?"
Garuda: "Garuda is *born* wealth-lucky. We shall not fail."
Rotha: "See? He says his name funny, but Gary knows what he's talking about."
Garuda: He leans into Rotha. "In fact... Garuda means wealth."
Rotha: "Shoot, really? I always thought it meant turnips. Or maybe bunions. One o' the two!"
Garuda: Cutaway: ["Well technically, Garuda means... big bird. It is close enough, though." *zooms in* "I think."]
Ommy: "That's good to hear, well, I'll be off at my desk." She says moving to the next room where she can still blatantly see them.
Garuda: *camera zooms in to where she's still staring right at them*
Ommy: (XD yup)
Rotha: "C'mon, Gary, we got *fat stacks* to rake in! *Fat stacks,* Mr. Moneymaker!"
Garuda: (Cutaway? :3)
Ommy: (Yup!)
Garuda: (I mean, interview cutaway request aimed at Rotha.)
Ommy: (ahh)
Rotha: (oh XD)
Rotha: "I don't even really know what we do at this company! But that hasn't stopped me, no siree bob!"
Rotha: "They put out the word, I came in for the job...guess I must be doing *somethin'* right, 'cause I'm still here!"
Garuda: (I mean, maybe something to make it not look like in-scene dialogue, but yeah, that's perfect. XD)
Rotha: "People come 'n go, but you know what they say around here: 'Ol' Rotha, she endures!'"
Rotha: *-cutaway to random coworker-* "No one...no one ever says that."
Garuda: (*cutaway to Bobo the clover lamb. (The GM can't be the only one coming up with NPCs. XD))
Garuda: Scene cuts back in on Rotha who's taking a call.
Garuda: Gary comes into his own cubicle next to her as she's doing so.
Garuda: "Ugh. There is *no* coffee in this place! Garuda is *bery* dissapointed." The phone rings for two milliseconds before he picks it up. "Hello!"
Garuda: Cutaway: ["If I do not get coffee in the morning..." He throws up his hands. Cuts to different shot. "Garuda shall let it slide, though. I am known for mercy."]
Rotha: "Yeah, hello? This is...whatever this place is! Who are ya, and what can I do fer ya?"
Ommy: "Hi, my compact you guys fixed isn't uh...well it's not working, there's just a sticky note saying, 'You are feeling very sleepy now.' and a swirly drawing."
Garuda: (I think that's for Rotha. XD)
Garuda: (But yeah; I'm thinking the people who actually fix things are different people entirely; future PCs who might join later? :3)
Ommy: (maybe!)
Rotha: "Well, ain't that the darnedest thing! Sounds to me like something my Uncle Lester mighta done. He was always goin' round the kids' birthday parties, tryin' to do his silly hypnosis trick. And there'd always be some darn fool adult who'd agree to cluck like a rooster or turn around in circles or drop his pants and he'd snap his fingers and they'd pretend like they'd just been *bamboozled,* see, but I could *tell* it was all a big fat fake. Can you imagine? Hypnosis! Ha!"
Ommy: The person calling just seems to have gone silent for a good minute, "Uh...huh...I'll uh, I'll call back." And then they hang up.
Rotha: "Hey, hold on! Don't hang up! There's more to the story!...Shoot. Dang rude o' folks not to let me finish..."
Garuda: "Oom, ayes. That blue screen of death, you say. So computer is not running? That is good, because I am thinking you are not wanting to go running and catching it, yes? Hahahaha! ... That was joke, yes. Turn it off and then on again."
Ommy: By some miracle, Garuda's advice...works, "Oh, wow, it actually works."
Garuda: Cutaway: ["I like to think that the callers love Garuda. He is siren-voice to their ears."]
Garuda: "Ah- Yes, common is my first language, yes... By the way, what did blue death screen say?"
Ommy: "I don't know man." The person over the phone says, meanwhile, you hear somebody come in.
Garuda: "Oh dear." He pokes up above the cubicle line, looking around before coming back down.
Ommy: "Heeeyyy..." It's Jammy, a scrapgoat, and they appear to be holding a bag of...baked, graphic chips.
Rotha: (XD)
Rotha: (he sounds kinda baked already)
Rotha: "Hey, Jammy! Brought enough for ev'rybody?" Rotha doesn't care if it's inedible to everyone but a scrapgoat. Free food knows no species boundary.
Ommy: Cutaway to Jammy: Snoring and then suddenly waking up, "Huh? Was I supposed to say something?"
Garuda: Cutaway: ["Big boss woman is putting pressure on us, but she does not know my *secret weapon.*"]
Ommy: "Naaaah, these are mine." He says, taking a chip and biting into it.
Garuda: "What is it, you ask? If you do not know what screen says, then you..." He looks around a bit more, seeing that Jammy is at Rotha's cubicle. "... maybe won't know whether you have a *wirus*."
Ommy: "I found them sitting on some table next to a bunch of stuff, and I decided to just take em, nobody was usin them or nothin."
Ommy: The person over the phone says, "Wirus?"
Garuda: "Indeed. A *wirus.* Is bery, *bery* bad. Infects your compooter and steals ebrything."
Ommy: "How do I fix it?" They say, seemingly worried.
Rotha: _stares at Jammy, her pride wounded._
Rotha: *-cutaway-* "Oh I was gonna get me some o' them chips."
Garuda: "Ah- You need to let me see your compooter. Instructions are too complicated for 'civies', see. You'll need to open this file..."
Ommy: Jammy looks...passed Rotha, although looking at her, "You gonna finish those?" He says, pointing to some paper clips.
Rotha: "Sssssure," Rotha says, seeing her opening. "But you're, uh, you're gonna have to come over. Can't get up from this *seat* while I'm at *work,* y'know?"
Ommy: The person over the phone, naively opens the file, "now what?"
Ommy: Jammy nods, "True...True." He then walks over.
Garuda: Cutaway: ["Now here is where I explain how to let them give access to their compooter." *cut* "Actually, there is no wirus." *cut* "Garuda *made it up.*" He proceeds to wear a giddy expression.]
Rotha: _waits for the precious baked foodstuffs(?) to come within snatching range._
Garuda: (Inb4 I ask for some hand-waving on account of not actually knowing the tech-specifics of how this scam works. XD)
Ommy: Just as Jammy reaches over, he falls over, crispy graphics chips everywhere.
Ommy: (They pretty much take the credentials, then trash System32 )
Garuda: "Ha!" The fat, normally motionless sand hippo Tabbi gives a guffaw.
Ommy: (Like...Banking stuff)
Garuda: (I know. I just don't know the application names involved.)
Ommy: (You can just make em up heh)
Garuda: (Or how those applications work, specifically.)
Ommy: (You pretty much just take control of their computer remotely)
Ommy: (And they can't do anything)
Rotha: _doesn't even pretend to be subtle. She starts grabbing chips and stuffing them into her mouth and pockets._
Garuda: Cutaway (Bobo): ["I mean... at least those two do stuff..." Cuts to Tabbi sitting motionless in her chair, phone ringing without even an attempt being made at picking it up. "I mean, I thought she was dead until yesterday."]
Ommy: Rotha, they taste...well...bad and sharp.
Garuda: "Yes, and you want to type in the Ai-Pee; garuda1sL0V3. That is one, yes."
Garuda: "What the..." Bobo is standing behind Garuda.
Ommy: They do exactly as they say.
Ommy: Jammy is also, somehow passed out sleeping on the floor.
Garuda: Garuda turns around, then back again. "... All clear. You have no wirus. Good day." He aborts.
Ommy: Boss Lady: "...Sometimes, I think about why this isn't working." Cuts to the kitchen being on fire and Jammy just sitting down eating something whilst also being on fire.
Garuda: (Ooh, looks like we sorta overlapped characters with Jammy and Tabbi. XD)
Ommy: (Jammy is like...stoned out of his mind)
Ommy: (All the time)
Ommy: (Maybe Jammy and Tabi are also friends heh)
Rotha: _doesn't care. *Free. Food.*_
Rotha: *-cutaway to Rotha looking smug as she chows down on her stolen chips-* "...Ow!"
Garuda: (Wheras Tabbi... I don't even *know* man. Like Bobo said, you'd think she was just dead this whole time, until she gives some sign of life. XD)
Rotha: (they get their drugs from the same vendor.)
Rotha: (who is also one of our coworkers.)
Ommy: (Heh)
Garuda: (I don't think it's drugs, man.)
Garuda: (Tabbi is just... Tabbi.)
Ommy: "Wait wha-!" And the phone call is ended.
Garuda: Bobo pops into Rotha's cubicle.
"I..." He looks down at Jammy. "... Not asking. Anyways, is nobody acknowledging the tech support scam bird-brain is pulling on the clock? Is that just something we can do?"
Garuda: "Hey!" Garuda pops above the dividing wall. "Garuda takes great insult at that. He is respectable peacock!"
Ommy: Boss Lady walks into the cubicle to see how everyone is doi-
She walks by instead.
Garuda: Cutaway (Jammy): "I mean... Is it company policy now? Can we do that?" Cuts. "... I wouldn't be surprised, honestly." Cuts. Cuts again. "... You can turn the camera off now..."]
Ommy: Bobit, a Pzky, flies on in "Okay...Where are those chips I had on the table? I could ha-" She turns to Rotha and Jammy and facepalms, "Never mind, I'll look in the back."
Rotha: "Eh, beats me. Hey, you watch stickball? I got a nephew who won't shut up about stickball. I don't get why anyone would watch stickball! Do you? Man, I try to understand the rules but I think they must've been written for some really *strange* people..."
Ommy: Cutaway to Bop It: "Honestly I think I am the only sane person here..."
Garuda: "You people are all psychos..." Bobo heads back to his cubicle.
Rotha: *-cutaway-* "My personal enemy at this company is the fantasy stickball league. Oh, they'll get theirs someday, you mark my words."
Garuda: Cutaway (Bobo): "... When I moved to *actual Hell*, I thought to myself..." Cuts to Bobo looking around a breakroom with no coffee machine. "This is it, Bobo. You hit rock bottom." Cut to Bobo sitting at a table in the same room, letting himself conk his head on the table. Cut back to interview. "... The pay is good, though."]
Ommy: Jammy finally wakes up and reaches on the desk for the paperclips, dropping them on his face and eats them silently.
Ommy: Then resumes to pass out
Garuda: Cutaway (Tabbi): "..." Camera shakily focuses on unblinking, unmoving face.
Ommy: Boss Lady finally gets the nerve to walk in, "So, how the money bussiness goin?"
Garuda: "Yes, much money. Wow." Garuda is still looking in on Rotha's cubicle; this is not his performance review, but boy is he giving the boss his best thumbs up.
Rotha: "Specta-freakin'-*tacular!*" Rotha says, giving an enthusiastic thumbs-up. "I'm pretty sure all our callers are satisfied!"
Rotha: *-cutaway-* "I think they literally just let random people off the street answer their phones."
Ommy: "Oh? How much did we earn?"
Garuda: "I mean, Garuda *would* have made all of the client's money, but *someone is too stupid to not rat on good ideas!*" "You are insane!" Bobo shouts back.
Garuda: (Can that be last lines? XD)
Rotha: "Heck, I dunno how much money we make. A lot, I'm sure! You'll have to ask Jimmy from Accounting here. Hey! Jimmy!" She gives Jammy a good kick.
Ommy: (Sure sure!)
Rotha: *-cutaway-* "Whadda ya mean he's not from Accounting? Then who the heck *is* he, anyway?"
Ommy: -Cutaway of Jammy- "...I'm just a janitor."
Ommy: (Anyways, I think it's a good time to stop here)
Rotha: (yeah XD)
Garuda: Cutaway (Garuda): "Garuda does not associate with stoners and losers off of streets... Wh- Wait-" Bobo comes in tackling him and yelling. "GARUDA DOES NOT APPROVE!"
Ommy: (Last line Rotha?)
Rotha: *-cutaway of Rotha still eating her stolen chips, looking disgusted this time-* "Who *eats* these dang things?"
Rotha: (and I'm good XD)
Ommy: !end