Axion Incident 5 (Finale)

Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 10:01 AM
Have you seen the videos I've been posting of previous VRChat streams?
Axion - Last Saturday at 10:02 AM
Yes
Why
I don’t watch them but I have seen you post them
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 10:05 AM
Nvm
Axion - Last Saturday at 10:06 AM
Tell me
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 10:11 AM
I was just editing through them and it was semi-nostalgic seeing again all that happened. Really fun re-watching it all again for me
Axion - Last Saturday at 10:11 AM
I don’t like watching them, it reminds me of things I never wanted to happen
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 10:12 AM
Regarding?
Axion - Last Saturday at 10:13 AM
... if I don’t like remembering them why are your asking me to remember them...
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 10:13 AM
Fair
I try not to focus on the bad things in life. Bad events are a dime a dozen; I learn from it and move on. But the fun and funny moments are great to remember, for me at least.
Idk we have different outlooks on life
Just wanted to share this one thing. We don't have to talk about it
Axion - Last Saturday at 10:41 AM
there are no good, fun, or funny moments in my life
I have never had fun playing this stupid game
I may pretend
you may have believed me
but I have never had fun in this stupid game
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 10:43 AM
You sure? It seems like you might have been laughing at some point
Actually, forget it. What do I know, right?
Axion - Last Saturday at 10:43 AM
laughing doesn't mean i'm having fun
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 10:44 AM
I'm sorry that you don't have fun in VRChat. It sounds really sad when you put it like that, but I guess it is what it is.
I shouldn't have said anything. Sorry.
Axion - Last Saturday at 10:46 AM
You know there was only one person who was ever able to see through my acting
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 10:48 AM
Wolf?
Axion - Last Saturday at 10:55 AM
yeah...
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 10:58 AM
Life is way too short to do things that aren't fun. If something isn't fun, don't do it. Don't force yourself for others, just do you for yourself.
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 11:04 AM
Its really depressing to think that you don't have any fun at all. Must be kind of glib to go through
Axion - Last Saturday at 11:04 AM
glib
?
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 11:09 AM
Superficial. Pretending to have fun when you have none at all
Also insincere to yourself and how you feel
Axion - Last Saturday at 11:28 AM
do you want to know how I really feel
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 11:29 AM
Sure
Axion - Last Saturday at 11:29 AM
I still want to die
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 11:38 AM
Well don't. You can feel the way you feel, but dont hurt yourself
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 12:44 PM
Again, sorry for bringing any of this up. Didn't meant to make it awkward of depressing.
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 2:01 PM
I didn't know even Kuri knew. Caught Voc's & Kuri's perspectives there. It was nice of him to say those things
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 10:08 PM
Getting off for now
Axion - Last Saturday at 10:09 PM
I see
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 11:31 PM
You should have joined to hang on me today
Axion - Last Saturday at 11:32 PM
did you invite me?
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 11:33 PM
No but you can join in/request inv
Axion - Last Saturday at 11:36 PM
but you could have invited me
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 11:45 PM
After that awkward conversation earlier, felt like I shouldn't be bugging you much
But I still want to hang out
Axion - Last Saturday at 11:51 PM
Which awkward conversation
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 11:52 PM
The one about fun and how you don't get any fun?
Axion - Last Saturday at 11:52 PM
Yeah
Well I guess I lied to you I did have fun at one point in time
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 11:53 PM
When was that?
Axion - Last Saturday at 11:54 PM
When do you think
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 11:54 PM
When you were with Wolf?
Axion - Last Saturday at 11:54 PM
Yep
Thamriyell - Last Saturday at 11:55 PM
...nevermind
forget i said anything
Axion - Last Saturday at 11:59 PM
All these stupid time wasters called videogames were escapes for me
A way to escape reality
Wolf he should me games could be fun
That there is a reason to play then
April 22, 2018
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 12:00 AM
I get it
Axion - Yesterday at 12:00 AM
What do you get?
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 12:05 AM
What can I do to get you to have fun again?
Axion - Yesterday at 12:06 AM
Idk... be wolf...
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 12:06 AM
How do I be Wolf?
Axion - Yesterday at 12:11 AM
You can’t... there is only one wolf... you can never be him...
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 12:13 AM
Okay, I'm not Wolf and I can never be him
How can I be just as good then?
Axion - Yesterday at 12:16 AM
Honestly I don’t think you can
I need wolf... not a replacement.. not an imposter...
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 12:19 AM
Okay. So you don't want a replacement to Wolf or be someone who takes his place.
I can't take a place of someone who's already there. Nor do I want to. I am Tham, afterall
With my own personality, thoughts, quirks, qualities and difficulties
So how can Tham, Nick, do something for Axion to make her have fun
Axion - Yesterday at 12:21 AM
I know Nick... I know...
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 12:21 AM
Or to at least have a more enjoyable time doing whatever
I want to make up for my own fuck ups too. I have been kind of bad to you recently. I want to make it right again.
Axion - Yesterday at 12:21 AM
Right now to make me happy you would need to become god or a higher power
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 12:26 AM
Throw me a bone here
Axion - Yesterday at 12:33 AM
Throws a bone
bone hits the ground shattering into dust
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 12:35 AM
I did wrong by you and was a bad friend. I hurt you and want to make it right somehow. What can I, Nick, human being and not some deity, do to have you have fun again? To spark the joy of life and make things even a bit brighter?
I can't re-ignite the same flame that was left by Wolf. I have no right, especially with how you still feel for him.
But if I can start another spark for enjoying life again, tell me how to do it
Help me help you
Throw me a bone that I can catch and prevent from shattering
Axion - Yesterday at 12:55 AM
God isn’t real
Stop lying to your self
God isn’t real
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 12:59 AM
Excuse me?
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 1:01 AM
Is that supposed to be more for me or for you?
Axion - Yesterday at 1:05 AM
open your eyes
why would god allow someone to suffer as much as I have, after everything I have done and tried to do
I try to change reality, I try my hardest at everything
but guess what happend
pain
suffering
sadness
betrayal
depression
and death
god isn't real
if god was real why couldn't one thing ever in my life work out
I made everything
I am the one who achieved my achievments
and so do you
you are the reason you are successfull
not god
god had nothing at all to do with it
god is not real
when has god ever done anything to make things better
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 1:12 AM
Pretty sure there's a verse in the Bible about how God can only guide and can't intervene directly. I also personally believe that each person is accountable for the majority of their own actions and results. With that said, life isn't going to always work out how you want it sometimes. Hurdles in life will happen and to rely on some a God without a backup plan is as good as opening yourself to easy pain and failure.
Axion - Yesterday at 1:15 AM
if god was real... why am I alive
am I only alive to suffer
because being alive right now is suffering
my next method I can't possibly fail
just
I'm too scared to die
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 1:16 AM
I don't have strong faith myself, because I'm a realist. Or a cynic. Or maybe because I came from a country where I've seen family members suffer for relying on God so much for all of their worries. Maybe its because I question things too much and find it frustrating when things lack sound reasoning. I dunno why and when I stopped relying on God for anything. Just found myself not giving a shit about religions and bothering with other shit
Axion - Yesterday at 1:26 AM
go become god, go become a higher power
i have made people kill themselfs, does that make me death
that would explain my suffering
every single second of pain
ever single second of suffering
my failed suicide
death can't escape death
I want to die
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 1:38 AM
Okay, I'll answer these bit by bit, with my own response and my own view on things
I've been sitting here debating with myself on how to make you understand
Whether I should still use my kid gloves with you or tell you how it really is. Neither of these worked last time so
Maybe if I share my view or opinion with you on things, you may see things differently?
Maybe you don't care to see things differently. You seem set on seeing things your way and having things your way that maybe you don't care to be convinced otherwise
Axion - Yesterday at 1:40 AM
Honestly do you care for me or do you want me
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 1:42 AM
I care for you. But there's a part of me that says you're dead-set on seeing things your way that nothing I say will change how you feel
Axion - Yesterday at 1:43 AM
You lie to me before are you going to lie to me again
You attacked me before are you going to attack me again
You hurt me before are you going to hurt me again
You abandoned me before are you going to abandon me again
Honestly I hate all this lewd shit
I’m not a lewd person
But I said fuck it
I’ll make you happy
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 1:48 AM
I lied to you and I'm sorry for that. I attacked you over that creepy comment and I am sorry for that. I hurt you and I am sorry for that. I abandoned you during that one Sunday/Monday and I am sorry for that too. I've wronged you and want to make up for what I've done.
I never forced you into the lewd stuff. I remember mentioning some stuff about the artist that did your work, how they do lewd things, and you told me to show you. So I showed you after you sent something.
Maybe I misunderstood something, but it seemed like you were actually pretty comfortable with it. Forgive me if I went too far with it. I didn't think of making you uncomfortable
And with how you said you even sent dubdub lewds too, I didn't think you didn't like lewd stuff. In fact, it seemed like you were alright with it.
Whether it was me or someone else
Or are you saying you hate the lewd stuff because you used to do lewd things for Wolf and now you can't do them anymore?
Axion - Yesterday at 2:06 AM
No
I only liked doing lewd thing with wolf
I hated everything else
I only did it to make you guys happy
Because I knew it made wolf happy
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 2:07 AM
So none of what I did for you ever made you happy? Not even a bit? Not even a little?
None of it felt good?
And why care about what makes other guys happy? Didn't you yourself say you don't care about who you hurt or affect the other night as long as you get Wolf?
Axion - Yesterday at 2:11 AM
I don’t
Pleasure and happiness are completely different
I don’t care who I hurt because if I can’t be happy I don’t care
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 2:13 AM
Yeah yeah I get it. So are we going to do this same song and dance again? Feels like we've been doing this for 2 weeks now
Please, just tell me what it is I can do to help you make through this or make this situation better
I'm begging you
I want to help
I need you to tell me how to help you?
Do I start to worry?
Do I get angry?
Axion - Yesterday at 2:14 AM
Become god or a higher power
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 2:34 AM
What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do? How do you want me to achieve becoming God? How can I possibly be something you don't believe in? Why would I want to be something that you blame for your suffering? Nothing that I do is enough. Nothing that I try to do will ever affect anything. I try and try and try and it all seems pointless. You aren't working with me here at all. You don't want to work with me here either, but it would make it a hell of a lot easier for me to help you
Axion - Yesterday at 2:36 AM
I want you to realize you don't need to be a god or higher power to do this shit
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 2:38 AM
First you tell me to become higher power. Then you tell me to become higher power. Now you tell me that I don't need to be a higher power
Be direct here
Please
Axion - Yesterday at 2:38 AM
you're the one who keeps saying you need to be a god or higher power to get what I want
I'm telling you you don't need to be
you haven't even tried
honestly how do you expect me to believe anything you say if you never try first
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 2:39 AM

Axion - Yesterday at 2:39 AM
do you think I don't know what I said
GO BECOME GOD OR A FUCKING HIGHER POWER
IF YOU CAN'T EVEN TRY WHAT'S THE POINT
YOU CAN'T SAY ONLY GOD OR A HIGHER POWER CAN DO SOMETHING IF YOU NEVER TRY
I KNOW IT CAN BE FUCKING DONE
I HAVE DONE IT MANY TIMES MYSELF
FOR OTHER PEOPLE
NOW YOU FUCKING DO IT
I'M DONE WITH THIS SHIT
I WANT TO BE HAPPY
BUT I CAN'T BE
YOU KNOW THIS
I KNOW THIS
BUT YOU DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN CHANGE THAT
I KNOW YOU CAN AT LEAST TRY
BECAUSE I KNOW IT'S POSSIBLE
you see why i don't want to talk about this
you see all I want is to be happy
but you see i can't be happy
and you haven't even considered trying
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 2:43 AM
You really think I haven't tried?(edited)
Axion - Yesterday at 2:46 AM
Prove to me you have
Prove it to me
Prove it now
You said you wouldn’t do it
Even after promising you would
Even after promising to never lie to me
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 2:49 AM
Earlier today, when I tried to talk about the videos I made and been posting? Part of me wanted you to at least look at them and remember the silly moments we've had together on VRChat, as a group during the time. Because the things we did were straight up silly. The whole "I am Axion's Bitch" thing, the Hentai where I screamed in Japanese, how Van egged it on as well. And all the other moments leading up to that. I was watching them at the time and I was hoping that maybe if you caught any of that, those videos could cheer you up a bit. You told me that you didn't want to remember that moment because it made you realize how not fun it was.
Before that, I saw the message of you wanting help with the model, and you mentioned being sad. Before I attacked you, which was my mistake for doing that again, I wanted to take time out of my night just to hopefully help you with model work, even a little bit. I shouldn't have gotten into the whole thing with the name and the creepy comment with you. That wasn't my intention at all and I am sorry. I was hoping that maybe if I helped you and focused on you for a bit, maybe I could cheer you up even a little
Even during your time of initial week of radio silence, the week before we had that long talk from Sunday/Monday, I spoiled the surprise on the artwork that I was planning on getting you for your birthday. I wanted to do something special for you either way, but I felt that maybe if I had something for you to look forward to, maybe I could cheer you up a bit. That was before I knew anything was happening beforehand.
And even on that Sunday, I stayed up the whole night, talking to you and trying to break through to you. Eventually, it all just wore down on me after the whole week of sleepless nights and things just seemed to just collide and collapse and I felt my spirit breaking. Even though you said some hurtful things then, I tried shoving it aside and kept up with it as much as I could. Because I wanted to somehow get you to understand what you were doing would hurt people that care about you and how I didn't want you to do anything, even though you were in pain.
Because heartbreak is something that everyone goes through, and its painful and hurtful, but I didn't want you to take your life over it. Rebounding to another person would never work, which is why I put my feelings aside when you told me you loved Wolf and only Wolf, and I wanted to just convince you that time would eventually heal the wounds of the heart.
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:00 AM
I ended up buckling under it all and ended up leaving you feeling like I abandoned you. I still feel bad about it, but it also made you think about things as well. So maybe some of the distance, as bad as I feel about it, was good in a way. I don't know, but I still thing about what would happen if I didn't break and kept going. Would I eventually break through? Would it be futile?
I've been told by close friends to just drop you entirely. That I shouldn't even bother with your situation because of one reason or another (I never told them anyone's names, just the general gist oft he situation. These people aren't directly associated with you). The fear from you hurting yourself sent me in panic every night and I needed someone to come to for advice. I've got the same response from these people, but the idea of not being there for you when you would need someone wasn't something I wanted to bet my money on. I rather I'd be there for you then to completely disappear and have something happen to you.
When I heard about the bleach incident, I was blaming myself for not being more vigilant, or maybe being too easy on you. I blamed myself for you possibly hurting yourself, and then I started to think if any of this was even real to begin with. Maybe I was just trying to deal with all of this in my own way, and that's when I sent you that novel of text
Axion - Yesterday at 3:05 AM
I read what you said
i still have 1 point to make before you contine
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:06 AM
When we finally started to talk again, I would check in on you and your health whenever I could. I try to keep boundaries because I don't want to spamming you with messages of "Are you okay?" "are you feeling better?" and to get annoying, but I was genuinely concerned for your recovery
Axion - Yesterday at 3:06 AM
where is the proof you tried to help
talking to me has no effect on my intentions
it would have been better to ask me how i was doing
you never really did
to me it seemed that you didn't care about how I was
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:07 AM
...are you serious?
Axion - Yesterday at 3:08 AM
are you serious that when I asked for proof you give me a novel of text that you have already said to me
I'm sorry but you can't get mad at me for wanting proof to a statement you made
you said you tried, I'm asking for proof
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:09 AM
So the times when I said "I worry for you" or "I worry about you" never mean anything?
Axion - Yesterday at 3:09 AM
because you would have lied to me 2 times in extreamly significant ways
after you promised to never lie to me
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:10 AM
When I asked you to tell me what has been making you sad or bothering you? That didn't show you I wanted to know what's been going on with you?
...how can you say that I would be lying... I have always been worried sick about you...
After all this, are you actually saying you don't think I've been concerned for you?
Axion - Yesterday at 3:11 AM
... stop derailing the topic
you said you tried to help me
you promised to never lie to me, you promised you would help me, then you said you wouldn't help me because you're not god or a higher power, now you're telling me you did
I need proof you tried to help me
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:14 AM
I've never said that. I have never said that. I said that I would do whatever it is that I can do, but I cannot do it as God. Or as a higher being. I dont want to be those things. I will do what I can as Nick, as me, because that's all I am. But I will do anything I can as me
I cannot be Wolf for you, I cannot be God for you, but what I can be is Nick. And as Nick, I am willing to do whatever it takes
Axion - Yesterday at 3:14 AM
SHOW ME THE PROOF YOU TRIED TO HELP
IF YOU CANNOT PRODUCE IT NOW, YOU NEVER TRIED
THAT WOULD MEAN YOU LIED TO ME
okay
do you understand
i need the proof
and as nick did you try
you're willing do to what ever it takes
then make it happen... honestly you can't even prove to me you tried when i needed you to try
sorry i'm just a bitch, whore, slut, what ever you want to call me
but i need proof nick tried
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:17 AM
I put you in front of whatever I was doing on Tuesday to help you with the model

Axion - Yesterday at 3:17 AM
...
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:17 AM
To put your situation above whatever I wanted to do
It may not have ended up the way that I wanted it to
But that's one of the ways that I tried
Axion - Yesterday at 3:18 AM
I need proof that you tried to have me be happy
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:18 AM
I regret the things I said at the end of that session. Severely.
I thought that maybe, if I helped you with the model, that would make you happy
Axion - Yesterday at 3:19 AM
no
there is only one thing that makes me happy
and it's gone
and you can't prove you tried at all to pervent that
to make me be happ
y
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:20 AM
Are you asking me to make Wolf be with you? Is that what you genuinely want? You want me to present logs of me messaging Wolf, telling him to get together with you, is that it? Do you want me to message Meow and tell him to not be with Wolf, is that it?
Forgive me if I am wrong, but it feels like this is what you're hinting at right now
Correct me if I am wrong
Tell me I am wrong
Axion - Yesterday at 3:20 AM
you aren't wrong
because you said you tried
so how could you possibly else have tried
tell me how you tried
if that's not it
what did you do
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:21 AM
...so me putting you above anything else on Tuesday to help with the model means nothing then
You just want me to message Wolf and tell him to be with you, convince him to drop Meow and go for you
Axion - Yesterday at 3:22 AM
YOU SAID YOU TRIED
PROVE TO ME YOU TRIED
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:22 AM
If you wanted me to prove that I harassed Wolf to be with you, then you should have said so
So, that's it?
You want me to start harassing Wolf to be with you instead of Meow?
Axion - Yesterday at 3:24 AM
you should have convinced him
the fact you didn't
that you want to do it now
becasue you didn't then
when he was making his decisions
why
you didn't even try
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:26 AM
You want to use my kind nature, to guilt me into making Wolf be with you instead of Meow, to convince a complete stranger to me to do something against their own will, to make them drop whatever other commitments and wants and listen to some random like me, just so you can get your selfish way?
Why tiptoe about this with wordplay? Why bullshit about it? Why not just say "Hey Tham, why the fuck didn't you make Wolf love me instead of Meow? Why didn't you make my wants happen?"
Axion - Yesterday at 3:27 AM
because I want to believe you didn't lie to me
you said you tried to help me
but how could you have helpt me if you didn't even attempt to convince him
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:27 AM
The Sunday/Monday night of the event

Right before I freaked and broke down
And then the evening of the time we finally stopped radio silence
Axion - Yesterday at 3:28 AM
so you did lie
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:29 AM
I told you that I never sent anything, but I had everything typed out. I told you that directly. And I told you I never sent it
Axion - Yesterday at 3:29 AM
why do you lie to me
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:29 AM
Because I didn't know if I had the right to come and meddle with this
Axion - Yesterday at 3:29 AM
WHY DID YOU FUCKING LIE TO ME
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:29 AM
I told you all of this
Axion - Yesterday at 3:29 AM
WHY
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:29 AM
I told you all this directly to you, what to do you mean? I told you I was about to write him everything and beg him and then I broke down
Axion - Yesterday at 3:29 AM
WHY DID YOU THINK THAT BECAUSE I WOULD BE UNABLE TO BE HAPPY I WOULD JUST LOVE YOU OR SOME SHIT
BECAUSE I HAD OTHER PEOPLE TRY THAT
WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:30 AM
I abandoned the idea of you ever loving anyone but Wolf
Axion - Yesterday at 3:30 AM
TELL ME FUCKING NOW
WHY DIDN'T YOU EVEN FUCKING TRY
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:31 AM
I told you then and I will tell you again. I was ready to write him a full letter, pleading him. But after breaking down, I felt that I had no substantial reason to get between this. I had no validity in asking a stranger to go against his will just for you to get your selfish way, just because you were manipulating me to do everything and anything, only to get Wolf to be with you(edited)
Who the literal fuck was I to tell someone what they should be doing
I was a random in this
Axion - Yesterday at 3:32 AM
HONESTLY YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE ANY THING YOU SAY TO ME
YOU SHOULD HAVE SENT IT TO HIM
YOU SHOULD HAVE TRIED TO CONVINCE HIM
I CAN'T BE HAPPY AND YOU FUCKING DIDN'T EVEN TRY
were you happy when you learned he said no
that he would never see me again
that he would never talk to me again
that he hated me
i bet you were happy
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:34 AM
And you think its okay to force someone against their will just so you can get your way? You wanted to use and abuse my kind nature to actually force someone to make your way happen? Fuck no I wasn't happy. Why would I be happy over someone's misery? What monster do you see me as?
Axion - Yesterday at 3:34 AM
i bet you were happy when you learned i drank bleach
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:35 AM
...are you kidding me...
I was worried sick
Axion - Yesterday at 3:35 AM
i bet you were happy that i lived just so you could have a go at me
i thought you would be diffrent
no you're just like the other 11 people
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:35 AM
When Volc told me, I was freaking out, fucking screaming my head off. I was hoping it was all a lie. I was hoping it was all just bullshit you made up, because the alternative would be awful
Axion - Yesterday at 3:35 AM
you didn't even fucking try
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:36 AM
I was worried sick. I had to be talked down to by people in order to not call police and report a possible incident because I didn't know what else to do
Axion - Yesterday at 3:36 AM
you were happy, you thought ohh this dumb bitch has a broken heart let me just be nice to her and she will be my fuck toy
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:36 AM
...
Axion - Yesterday at 3:36 AM
just like the 11 other of them
why didn't you try to convince him
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:37 AM
...what kind of monster do you see me as? Be happy over you harming yourself? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
Axion - Yesterday at 3:37 AM
you know i can never be happy
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:37 AM
You know what I was thinking?
Axion - Yesterday at 3:37 AM
i don't
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:37 AM
THAT FUCKING IDIOT BETTER NOT HAVE DONE SOMETHING LIKE THIS
SHE BETTER FUCKING NOT
I was scared! I was terrified!
Axion - Yesterday at 3:38 AM
because what i'll be dead and you couldn't get in my pants
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:38 AM
I wanted you to tell me what happened!
NO  I DONT WANT YOU TO DIE WHAT THE FUCK
I DONT WANT YOU TO DIE
I DONT WANT YOU TO DIE
Axion - Yesterday at 3:38 AM
really
because I want to more than anything right now is to die
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:39 AM
I WANT YOU TO FUCKING LIVE, BECAUSE YOU ARE WAY TOO FUCKING YOUNG AND GOT A WHOLE LIFE OF OTHER BULLSHIT TO GO THROUGH BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN CONSIDER DEATH
THE FUCK
Axion - Yesterday at 3:39 AM
you lied to me
you didn't even try
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:39 AM
WHY WOULD YOU EVER THINK SO FUCKING LOW OF ME

Axion - Yesterday at 3:45 AM
THE ONLY PERSON WHO TALKED TO ME EVERYDAY AND CARED FOR ME WAS WOLF
THE ONLY PERSON WHO EVER FUCKING GAVE ME A REASON TO CONTINE LIVING WAS WOLF
AND GUESS WHAT
YOU KNEW ALL THIS
AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING TRY
SO I DID DRINK BLEACH
AND I MIGHT DO AGAIN
I MIGHT DO IT NOW
BUT WHO FUCKING CARES
NOT YOU
YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:47 AM
What you are doing is really twisted
Axion - Yesterday at 3:47 AM
WHAT MAKES YOU ANY DIFFRENT THAN THE OTHER 11 GUYS
THE OTHER FUCKING 11 GUYS WHO TOLD ME TO KILL MYSELF
THE OTHER FUCKING 11 GUYS WHO TRIED TO FUCK ME
THE OTHER FUCKING 11 GUYS WHO TRIED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:50 AM
I put my feelings for you aside to try. And all I get is being shat on and used. I never took advantage of you being vulnerable. I stayed with you through the who;e Sunday/Monday hysteria, I have treated you like a genuine friend, even going beyond to do something nice for your birthday. But nothing will matter to you because I didnt force Wolf against his will to be with you. That's all you care about.
I even dealt with you insulting me during the model making. And the creepy comment. And still was the one to say I was at fault. It was really rude what you said and how you saw me in the light, but I buckled down and took the blame just to help repair the friendship
You said you never wanted to make feel like you were using me. You said I was a sweet and kind guy, but now I feel like that all was false. You wanted to use me to get your way. You probably still want to use me to get me to talk to Wolf now, just so you can get your way still. Even now, everything you are telling me, all the pity stories about wanting to kill yourself is still most likely a way to pray on my kindness and get me to just do as you please. Everything you are telling me now, from guilt-tripping me to what you could be saying from here on out could be used as a way to manipulate me. I was told by everyone I talked to that I was being used, that you are just manipulating me to get your way.  That's why you are angry at me for never sending that message to Wolf. Anything and everything just so you can have your selfish desire come to reality. You don't see me as a person, just a tool to get your way. I am not your friend, just someone to be used to get your obsession made reality.
You don't care about what happens to me or anyone as long as you get your way with Wolf
I wasn't one of the 11 people, therefore I was a tool to be used and manipulated through guilt
Or any other means
Nothing that I did or tried to do ever mattered
Axion - Yesterday at 3:53 AM
i don't think you understand what you are saying
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:53 AM
The only thing that would matter is the result
Axion - Yesterday at 3:53 AM
or what i'm saying
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:53 AM
If the result was for you to get Wolf, then my task was complete
Axion - Yesterday at 3:53 AM
because you saying this is exactly how the other 11 went
i'm pissed you lied to me
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:54 AM
How do I know that's not another way to guild trip me or manipulate me
Axion - Yesterday at 3:54 AM
i'm pissed you didn't even fucking try
you should have tried
but you lied to me
you promised me
then you said you wouldn't
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:55 AM
I have no right. Would you want someone else to barge into your life if you were happy with someone and do that to you? No, but thats because its not in your favor. If its in your favor, its fair game, right?
Axion - Yesterday at 3:55 AM
then just now you said you did
it's already FUCKING HAPPEND TO ME
LOOK AROUND YOU
FOR FUCK SAKES
IT'S HAPPEND
LOOOK AROUND
PUPPERS LOVES ME, HE CONVINCED WOLF TO SAY NO, SO THAT I COULD NEVER BE HAPPY, SO THAT HE COULD BE HAPPY WITH ME
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 3:56 AM
So if its done to you, you can do it to others? 2 wrongs make a right?
Axion - Yesterday at 3:57 AM
I HAD A CHANCE
WOLF HAD FEELINGS FOR ME
BUT HE HAD A DECISION
ME OR SOMEONE ELSE
HE DIDN'T CHOSE ME
YOU DIDN'T TRY TO CONVINCE HIM TO CHOSE ME
WHY
THE
FUCK
DID
YOU
NOT
EVEN
TRY
YOU KNEW EXACTLY HOW MUCH THIS MEANT TO ME
AND YOU KNEW WHAT I WOULD DO
AND YOU KNEW I WOULD DO IT
AND I DID FUCKING DO IT
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:00 AM
Because I am not going to be playing fucking highschool musical with this shitshow. Who the fuck am I in this situation? I don't know Puppers, I dont know Wolf, I dont know anyone at fucking all that is involved in this dramatic bullshit! Who the FUCK am I in this?! I got put into this mess because you pulled me into it! I wanted to be there to support you, not to ruin shit for anyone
Axion - Yesterday at 4:00 AM
you wanted this to happen
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:00 AM
Its not what I do, its not who I am. I am sorry Puppers did that to you, its fucked
Axion - Yesterday at 4:00 AM
i'm going to go drink the rest
honestly you didn't even fucking try
what reason do i have
to not
i will never be happy
you didn't even try to let me be happy
you didn't try to convive him
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:05 AM
Why the fuck would you ask me this?! I am just a tool to you, REMEMBER?! Who the FUCK am I? Oh, that's right, I am NICK, THE GUY YOU CAN GUILT TRIP INTO DOING EVERYTHING POSSIBLE FOR YOU, THE GUY YOU WANT TO MEDDLE INTO THIS SHITSHOW TO CONVINCE PEOPLE I DONT EVEN FUCKING KNOW OR HAVE ANY BUSINESS WITH TO END RELATIONSHIPS I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT JUST FOR ONE OF THE ASSHOLES IN THIS SHITPILE TO GET THEIR SELFISH WAY, RIGHT?! AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT HERE? iSN'T WHAT WHAT YOU WANT? TO GET YOUR WAY AND USE ME A PROXY TO MAKE IT HAPPEN BECAUSE YOU CAN GUILT TRIP ME INTO THIS? FUCK YOU FOR PUTTING THIS ON ME, NONE OF THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH WITH THIS BULLSHIT, THIS FUCKING RETARDED HIGHSCHOOL LEVEL DRAMA FUCKFEST HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! I AM DONE BEING USED, I AM DONE BEING MANIPULATED, I AM DONE BEING PUT DOWN BY SOME CRAZY DERAGED FUCKING TEENAGER THAT'S FUCKING PISSED SHE DIDN'T GET WHAT SHE WANTED THROUGH THE USE OF ME RUINING IT FOR OTHERS. I AM SORRY I AM NOT A FUCKER LIKE PUPPERS TO RUIN SHIT FOR PEOPLE\
Axion - Yesterday at 4:06 AM
you are
you ruining shit for me
you didn try
I see you didn't care about me in the responce you had
I never manupulated you
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:07 AM
YES YOU DID! YOU STILL ARE
Axion - Yesterday at 4:07 AM
how
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:08 AM
YOU WANT ME TO RUIN SHIT FOR WOLF JUST SO YOU CAN GET YOUR WAY, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!
Axion - Yesterday at 4:08 AM
you didn't even try when there wasn't any shit to ruin
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:08 AM
And you are guilt-tripping me for not ruining shit for you
just to get it in your favor
Axion - Yesterday at 4:09 AM
by not trying you ruined my shit
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:09 AM
I had nothing to do with anything
Axion - Yesterday at 4:09 AM
so idk who's shit did tou ruin
you promised you never lie to me
you promised you would try
you never tried
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:09 AM
You got everyone else involved but me to blame. I had nothing to do with anything. How the fuck was I supposed to know anything at all, you werent telling me things
Axion - Yesterday at 4:11 AM
you didn't try
and i told you everything
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:11 AM
I never knew there was a decision to be made
I never knew Puppers ruined it for youy
Axion - Yesterday at 4:11 AM
fucking look at what i sent you
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:12 AM
I never knew there were 11 people that did things to you
Axion - Yesterday at 4:12 AM
i said i need you to convice wolf
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:12 AM
You told me Meow did something and then took Wolf
Axion - Yesterday at 4:12 AM
to chose me
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:12 AM
And that's it
Axion - Yesterday at 4:12 AM
no
meow is a dude who should die
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:12 AM
And I told you, I CANT FUCKING FORCE SOMEONE, HOW MANY TIMES I GOTTA TELL YOU, ARE YOU FUCKED IN THE HEAD?!
DONT ANSWER THAT
BECAUSE THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE
Axion - Yesterday at 4:12 AM
YES I FUCKING AM
DO YOU THINK SOME NORMAL PERSON WHOULD DRINK BLEACH
BUT I SEE YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME
WTF YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY
YOU CAME HERE TO TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS SHIT
FOR WHAT
WHYU
WHY DID YOU BRING THIS UP
WHY DIDN'T YOU FUCKING TRY
DID YOU WANT THIS TO BE THE OUTCOME
DID YOU WANT ME TO KILL MYSELF LIKE THE OTHER 11 DID WHEN I SAID NO AND TO GET THE FUCK AWAY FORM ME
ALL THEY WANTED WAS TO MAKE ME THEIR FUCK TOY
AND WHEN I DIDN'T LET THAT HAPPEN THEY WANTED ME TO DIE
11 FUCKING PEOPLE
ELEVEN
YOU KNOW HOW MANY THAT IS
MORE THAN ZERO
NO ONE SHOULD EVER DO THAT
wtf why am I even talking to you
I already know where i stand
my voice doens't matter to you
you attack me for my thoughts
there isn't even the same amount of bleach as last time
there is less
i'm not going to die from that
wtf
this is sick
you should have fucking tried
wolf had a decision
me or meow
and the only reason he didn't pick me is because of puppers
you could have changed that
if you only tried to convinve him
i'm fucking done nick
you never tried
you never tried then you never cared about me
you never wanted me to be happy
wtf
you're going "radio silent" now because what
because you don't want to deal with my shit
you don't care that I want to be happy
you don't care about me
i really hoped you did
wtf
Honestly nick I liked you
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:24 AM
I have tried. I know I have tried. I just haven't tried to manipulate the outcome like you wanted me to. I haven't stooped below my morality to alter the relations between people I had no business meddling with. But you don't care about anything else because its easier to blame me for things that didn't come your way. I bet it didn't even matter if it was me or someone else. It could have been anyone at all and you would still blame them for what happened at the end
Axion - Yesterday at 4:24 AM
I thought that what I put you through and that you stayed
Meant something
I did enjoy some of the lewd things we did to each orher
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:24 AM
It did. But you don't care about it meaning something, because I didn't do as you wanted me to
No you didnt
You said you didnt
Axion - Yesterday at 4:24 AM
But I was never happy during it
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:24 AM
Dont even lie
You are manipulating and guilting me again
Axion - Yesterday at 4:25 AM
Am I really?
Because I’m not trying too
I’m not going to drink bleach
There isn’t enough left
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:26 AM
I never wanted you dead. To say that I wanted that is awful because its not true. I was scared shitless of you hurting yourself. But you say that I wanted you dead because you know its going to be the most hurtful thing to say and you are very precise with where you aim. Its easy to blame it on someone
I have nothing to do with what happens. I never did. Everything else is all on you. I have tried. I failed. And I am sorry. I am sorry that I didn't ruin it for someone else just so you can get your way. I am sorry that I didn't go out of my way to be as awful as Puppers was. I am sorry that my morality can;t be bent like that. I am sorry that I am not as easy to break. All the worries and fears I have had over you hurting yourself didn't matter, because you never cared how I felt over all this. I was and still am a tool to you to be used
You never saw me as a person
And you are using self-harm to manipulate me further
I deserve better
I deserve better than what I got
I deserve better than how I was treated
I have nothing to do with any of this anymore
Axion - Yesterday at 4:29 AM
Nick you didn’t even try
You ruined it for me
Not for someone else
Because you didn’t try
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:30 AM
Because its easy to blame it on someone else who has nothing to do with this whole thing
Axion - Yesterday at 4:30 AM
If Puppers didn’t come in he would have said yes
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:30 AM
This is a fucked mentality
Axion - Yesterday at 4:30 AM
To me
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:30 AM
Blame puppers
Blame Meow
Blame Wolf
But do not date to blame me
Blame yourself even
Axion - Yesterday at 4:30 AM
You didn’t even try
I tried everything
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:31 AM
I had no business in any of this, how can you not see it? Oh wait, to you its all fair game as long as you get your way
Axion - Yesterday at 4:31 AM
But I got to a point where if o pushed any more then it would be worse for me
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:31 AM
But even when I try in my own way to do what I morally can, its not enough because its not what you want
Axion - Yesterday at 4:32 AM
you did nothing to help convince him
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:32 AM
I had no right
I told you this over and over and over
Axion - Yesterday at 4:32 AM
That’s all I needed was to convince him
YOU HAD EVERY RIGHT TO
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:32 AM
HOW
TELL ME
WHAT RIGHT DID I HAVE
BECAUSE IT WAS CONVENIENT FOR YOU?
BECAUSE I SOMEHOW WAS INVOLVED IN THIS
I WASNT
NOT A BIT
Axion - Yesterday at 4:33 AM
Because you cared about me
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:33 AM
And that makes it okay to manipulate me
Axion - Yesterday at 4:33 AM
Because you wanted me to be happy
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:33 AM
Just because I cared and liked you
and you saw this as opportunity to use me
and then blame me if it didnt go well(edited)
Axion - Yesterday at 4:34 AM
You didn’t even try
And I asked you directly to convince him
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:34 AM
And I told you that I had no right do
Axion - Yesterday at 4:34 AM
I did not manipulate you
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:34 AM
I told you my boundaries
Axion - Yesterday at 4:34 AM
AND IM TELLING YOU DID
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:34 AM
And you still guilt tripped me and manipulated me
Axion - Yesterday at 4:35 AM
It doesn’t fucking matter you didn’t even try
I didn’t guilt trip you I didn’t manipulate you
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:36 AM
Of course it doesnt matter to you
you dont care what you do to me
Axion - Yesterday at 4:36 AM
You didn’t even try
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:36 AM
as long as you get the results. and if the result wasnt what you wanted, then you can still blame me
Axion - Yesterday at 4:37 AM
If you tried
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:37 AM
i had no right to try
i had no right to try
I had no right to try
I had no business
why dont you get it
Axion - Yesterday at 4:37 AM
I wouldn’t be upset
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:37 AM
manipulation
Axion - Yesterday at 4:37 AM
I TOLD YOU THE PROBLEM I ASKED YOU TO CONVINCE HIM
you didn’t even try
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:38 AM
AND I TOLD YOU I COULDNT DO IT, ITS NOT IN MY PLACE TO DO SO
why is that so hard to understand
its not my place
its not my business
it has nothing to do with me directly
Axion - Yesterday at 4:38 AM
It had to deal with me
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:38 AM
i said i can do anything all but not that
Axion - Yesterday at 4:39 AM
And I asked you to convince him
This decision meant everything to me
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:39 AM
So because its you, its okay, huh? Who says its fine? Even if I wasn't attracted to you, its not my place to meddle in
Oh wait, its fine because you said its fine
silly me
If only I got involved in something i had no business being part of
Axion - Yesterday at 4:40 AM
I would have done it for you
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:40 AM
Because that doesnt go against my own morals as a person(edited)
I would have never asked you, you made you, or manipulated you to
Axion - Yesterday at 4:41 AM
No because as a friend
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:41 AM
my business is my own. I will come to people for advice, but my own business is my own
Axion - Yesterday at 4:41 AM
I want my friends to be happy
So I would go give a good word about them
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:41 AM
if its my own business, its my responsibility
Axion - Yesterday at 4:41 AM
Say positive things about them
I would say whatever I could to make them like the friend
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:42 AM
I don't need a hype man/woman to deal with matters like that. If it doesnt concern others, its not for them to get involved
Just between me and the involved party
Because thats how it should be\
What Puppers did was fucked
you should never forgive him for it
You should hate him if you want to
Blame him
Blame Meow if you want
Blame Wolf even
But I had no business in this matter
Axion - Yesterday at 4:44 AM
I came to you
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:44 AM
You just keep showing me that I am just a tool for you to use, in one way or another
Axion - Yesterday at 4:44 AM
To convince him
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:44 AM
I am not a person to you(edited)
Axion - Yesterday at 4:45 AM
Because I trusted you the most and I could trust you to do it
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:45 AM
Just a means to an end. An entity whose kindness can be manipulated and blamed and guilted into doing something something you want me to do
I bet you asked others to do the same
I bet I wasnt the only one
I bet I was just one of many
Axion - Yesterday at 4:45 AM
I only asked you, to convince wolf
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:45 AM
What proof is there that it was just me?
Axion - Yesterday at 4:46 AM
I asked other to know what wolf thought of me
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:46 AM
I was one of many to try and control and manipulate
and to do as I was told to get your way
Axion - Yesterday at 4:47 AM
You were the only one I wanted to convince wolf
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:47 AM
You don't care about me as a person. You don't care about me period. You just care about how useful I can be
And you can just use me to blame me for everything
Because using me as a scapegoat is easier than just growing up, getting over not getting your way, and moving on
I dont think I was the only way
I will never be convinced
Just one of many
to be used
and manipulated
to get your way
And then to blame on the outcome
Because its easier

Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:51 AM
You never cared for me, you never liked me, you never liked doing anything with me, you never had fun with me around, you never enjoyed anything with me around
Because Im not Wolf
you said yourself its all an act
Nothing is genuine then
Nothing has been genuine then
Because you had wolf back in the day
And now you didnt
Why would I believe you, when you have apparently been deceiving me this whole time
nothing you say is honest or genuine according to you
Axion - Yesterday at 4:54 AM
I did like you
Why else would I spend so much time around you
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:54 AM
You never had fun around me, you never had fun with anyone, you said you pretend to have fun
You never liked the lewd things
Axion - Yesterday at 4:55 AM
I do like that stuff just it never made me happy
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:55 AM
Why would you like someone and spend so much time with someone when you didnt have fun with them, never had a good time around them, or never liked the lewding or whatever
Axion - Yesterday at 4:56 AM
Because I liked you
I liked your personality
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:57 AM
Did you like me? Or did you want me to think you liked me so you can use me? You liked my personality? Was it because it was easy to manipulate?
What is it that you even liked
Axion - Yesterday at 4:57 AM
No I liked you
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:57 AM
What is it that you even liked
Axion - Yesterday at 4:58 AM
I liked nick
I liked that he would make everyone laugh
How everyone would flock around him
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 4:58 AM
Apparently never made you laugh, you never had fun around me
Axion - Yesterday at 4:58 AM
No you didn’t
But I liked the nick who made everyone else laugvh
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 5:00 AM
I know my personality type, I learned to come out of my shell and naturally attract people around me. I know I can be likeable. But the whole time Ive been focusing on the one girl I wanted to like me the most. And that girl just wanted to use me \
I bet you probably liked the fact that I was like likeable by others that I would be your ticket to convince people of anything
Honestly I cant believe anything anymore
I thought I had at least a friendship with you. I thought that I could at least find common ground with you. I abandoned the romance with you completely just so I could focus on providing moral support in your trying times. But all you wanted was for me to abandon my morals for your own selfish gain, no matter the cost.
I thought there was a legitimate friendship there
I told you that I deserve to be treated better
Because you have done nothing but keep putting me down
And I just let it happenn
I let it slide
Because I knew you were going through stuff
I let you go and roll all over me with insults over petty things, jabs at me, and even as far as insulting me personally
After everything that I have done, which didn't matter because it wasn't the action that you wanted me to do
You never cared about me as a person. I was a tool and nothing more. I played to your contrived story and played to your game in order to try and make me do things for you
I was warned about this. I confided to someone without revealing detail of names to another that had nothing at all to do with anything like me, and they wanted me that this was going on
I should have listened
But I wanted to believe you more than the other person
And I did
And I got screwed over it
Wrong answer
Get Bent, Nick. You were played for an idiot
This whole time
I deserve better
Not from a girl that I like
Or even a friend
I dont deserve to be praised or pampered. Just the modicum of respect that a person deserves for being a person
I am surrounded by so many people around me that treat me way better than you have
Yet I have been striving to just win the respect of the one person that never treated me as anything more than a tool

Axion - Yesterday at 5:10 AM
Honestly I understand so much more about how you feel about me
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 5:11 AM
Do you really?
Then why treat me like this? Why put me through this tribulation?
You dont even have to like me back
Just treat me like a person
Like a friend
But I am neither to you
Because nothing matters but Wolf
Only Wolf
everything else is obsolete unless it can be used
I deserve way better
Better than what you put me through
I am sorry Puppers did that to you
I am sorry those 11 people said those things to you
I am sorry things did not work out in your favor with Wolf
But I have had enough
I cant do this anymore
The only person that deserves to off themselves after this whole shitshit is me. I have dealt with enough insanity, hysteria, pain, frustration, and overall madness.
But I will get over it
Because life moves on
There are people that I still care about in this world that I rather surround myself around with than having you treat me like this any longer
And so many people to meet in the future perhaps
So many fun moments to stream and record
And even if I dont meet anyone and dont have fun for years, at least I will have the opportunity to do something about it
I should have been dead. T-bone collision with me as the driver. I should have lost a leg and broke an arm. I didnt . I still keep going until something takes me.


I miss that car
That car was my first and favorite
But fuck it
Do can do whatever you want, it doesnt concern me any longer
I am done being treated like this
I am done with everything involving you right now
I deserve to be treated better
I know I deserve better
I won't block you, or unfriend you on vrchat. Or anything like that. Because even after all this, I feel like maybe there might be a day or time where things can be different. But not right now. From this moment, I am withdrawing further back
Axion - Yesterday at 5:22 AM
I just want to be happy, you’ll understand what I mean when you get to this point in your life
Honestly I don’t think I will live much past this year if I can’t get my happiness back
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 5:23 AM
I'm older than you. I've been there. You grow up, get over it, and move on. That's what a normal person does.
Axion - Yesterday at 5:24 AM
No
I’m no normal person then
I won’t be living much longer unless I get my happiness back
I’m going to sleep
Thamriyell - Yesterday at 5:25 AM
That's life. Its unfair and you deal with it. You are too young to understand that this current situation is only that intense because its in the now. You will look back on it with disdain and disgust for your own actions. But that is it from me. I have said everything I wanted to. I need time to just focus on people worth my time, patience, and kindness.
Axion - Yesterday at 5:26 AM
You should have just tried then maybe he would have said yes, but you didn’t try so we will never know
I won’t be living long if I cannot get my happiness back