Hi. This is my formal apology. I always take a week to cool off, so I won't say stuff that is bias, or stuff that would be said out of anger. I don't know if someone explained this or not, but I will quickly run over the
details of what happened. CocoTheCorgi and DaBlueTigerGirl whom I build maps and other things with, are people I respect. But that respect was overrun with my anger. What caused this anger? Well, let's backtrack. I am the head
builder and head dev of TideCraft. TideCraft is parkour and minigame server. I have builds and organics that I love on there, and CocoTheCorgi+DaBlueTigerGirl wanted to see them. I showed them around for about 30 minutes, when all of
A sudden they wanted to have a build competition of sorts. TideCraft has 100 parkour courses. Every course has a theme, and size. Every 10 courses have a different theme, 1-10=plains, 81-90=end, etc... Beat 1 you go to 2, and so on.
The parkour gets harder every course, and the size of the builds (these builds are in boxes) get bigger each time. Every 10th course, there is a very large version of the type of course's theme. For example, rankup 80 (nether theme)
is a gigantic box with dragons and a nether castle. Anyways, I thought "well if they will build, I'll just have them make a plains course!" I was thinking of strategically making use of their work, so I had them do a course together
While I worked on one my own. In TideCraft we are very understaffed as we had to kick 5 builders who hadn't been on for months. The server opens in less than a month, all of the 1-60 rankups corrupted,the backups were corrupt or were
Overridden, 68,70, 84, 91-100 aren't done, more than 9/10 of the parkour isn't done, and we only have a few builders. I was looking for any chance to have these amazing people help the team. As of know we have Monsteh, LegendOfBungle,
MrSeaSlug (one of the two owners), LaughtAtMyOwnJoke(mostly inactive), dingobird(mostly inactive), and I. We build the courses, and the parkour team made up of swimmy(the other owner), pikachuparkour, and pattycakesxd. They usually
make the parkour in those courses. Swimmy, MrSeaSlug, and dingobird came on when they were building. They said they wanted this course to be in their builder app, and as soon as they said that I was ready to pay them to help us.
They have amazing skills when it comes to building and it would be great to have them on the team! They said they were doing a ragni/troms theme, by which dingobird replied w/ don't copy other servers! I said they are ON THE WYNN
BUILD TEAM! He was surprised, and then teleported them to see what they were doing. He messaged me saying if this was a joke, and I replied with no, this isn't. I didn't know he was referring to what they were building, I just
Thought he was asking me if this is really happening. So after we were done I made a course, and they made a very terrible looking vanilla house. I was very disappointed as I knew they were joking about being builders, and my
Expectations immediately crashed into the floor. I was somewhat crushed, as this seemed like a tiny light of hope to get the server out, but only to be crushed soon after it's conception.  They said they would actually try if they
had another chance, and I was happy to do so! But DaBlueTigerGirl left, and then CocoTheCorgi left after just about 2 minutes. dingobird said that what they just did was a really shit joke. So I went to talk to CocoTheCorgi, as
DaBlueTigerGirl had to go to bed. I though DaB just left because she didn't want to do what she said.I looked for coco, found him, and then I wanted Coco to apologize. He said sorry, but then replied with a smart ellic comment,
I shouldn't have replied to it, but my senses weren't really taking too kindly to that. I told him that we were understaffed, and to pull a joke like that was really rude, because it gave my hopes up. You wasted my time. He said that
Wynn has higher standards, and some other stuff. If you really want to see it, you can check the chat logs.  I assumed he was saying that stuff to be disrespectful to me, I didn't take into consideration the truth that was in his
statements, and that maybe he didn't mean anything rude at all by it. I was infuriated with him. So I decided to reply back with something around the lines of "You're really representing the CT coco. I didn't think CT
members were like that. I'm disappointed." It was hypocritical since I was doing exactly what I claimed Coco was doing wrong. I started yelling and making a scene when more people came on. Coco genuinely said he was sorry, and I said
I would stop if I got a true apology. I didn't stop, and I kept slandering, and basically harassing coco, and for that I am deeply ashamed of my actions. It's been tough trying to pretend to be myself in front of the people who
saw that dark side of me. I have been carrying a load of guilt on my back since that day. I apologized to most of the people who were there, but how did I stop myself? Devastation messaged me, and told me one sentence that
immediately corrected me. I don't remember exactly what it was, but he said something like "Seth, this has held true to me, and If I were you I would listen to my advice. No one really cares about your situation as much as you. You
need to grow up." It may seem weird about how that got me to calm down and stop talking about it, but it did.  Vill later told me that coco was messaging him saying that he was afraid Seth was going to get him banned. That really
sunk deep in me, and I mean, with my grandfather's recent death, and the expectations I try to live up to every day, I just collapsed on my bed for at least an hour, just thinking about how stupid I've been. I have never ever felt so
slanderous before in my life. There was genuine HATE in my heart, whether that was a combination of my emotions letting out from my grandfather's death, I mean I just wish I was born 10 years earlier, I wish I could've done
something to save my grandfather from his disease and I I just wish I could have a moment more to talk to him. A moment to talk to him on an intellectual level, to tell him about what I was doing at church, or what I was
accomplishing with my website. School was starting, and everyone is wanting me to accomplish great things, and that stress I had bundled up,  I just let it out on coco, and I made an innocent person, take the
blunt of my rage, regret, and hate. It's as if it was a dark side of me I have never seen before. To tell the truth, I don't think I can face some of the people on the CT anymore. This isn't just something
I can get off with just by making an apology, so I feel like I still need to be punished, in whatever way Grian sees fit. I don't think I should be allowed on the build/gm server. It caused a big problem, as you saw. I'm sorry.
This is something I don't want to ever see in myself, it's disgraceful for me to act like this. A CT member should NOT act like I just did. Harassment is NOT okay, no matter the circumstances that have befallen me. I won't try to
Justify what I have done, by trying to wash it away so to speak with the previous good behavior I have had on the CT, as doing that to help me in my apology literally invalidates the entire apology. I think it would be in
your best interest to ONLY allow me to fulfill my role, which is make music. I don't need to be in work nights, game nights, or the servers. If there's one thing I want, it's another chance. I am begging. I love making music, my
goal has been to improve the wynncraft content for the players to enjoy. That's the sole reason I wanted to join the CT. So many people loved my work, I wanted to make them happy that I was making music. Xavier put his faith in me,
and asked Salted if I could be here. Salted agreed, and Salted and I have built a bond, just like Xavier did with me. I really like Salted, maybe even a little more than Grian (sorry Grian), but in all seriousness, they put their
faith in me. I can't bear the thought that I let them down. I can imagine the disappointment on their faces, and that pains me nearly as much as how shameful I feel for what I said. I am so sorry for acting like such a pompous prick,
and I promise you it  will never happen again. The fear of this happening to me will make me check myself. Now what should I have originally done? I should have just told someone higher up the ladder, that I was disappointed
in what Coco and DaB did, but I didn't. I acted rashly, and without thinking. I am apologizing with my entire being. I swear that on my sacred honor, I will never do ANYTHING like this again. I know this is sounding redundant,
but I need you to understand just how disappointed I am in myself. Thank you so much for even reading this, it means so much to me. I know that whatever decision you make, it will be the best one. I will accept it,
no matter what it may be. With much love, - Seth Andrew Morris Hargis