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- Mutant bird ATTACKS home owners! Before you try the flashy new trend in town, turkey-duck-chicken (known to such hipsters as turducken), think again. Rumor has it Reese and Elly Langston had such a mishap last year and covered it up for the sake of the Pig and Whistle.
- Normally, turducken is a popular holiday treat. Chicken is served inside duck, which is served inside a turkey, offering a variety of flavors for the palate. Perhaps this is why witnesses saw them preparing it earlier that day.
- Our prime anonymous source from the Mage Quarter tells us the carnage occurred due to faulty placement of healing potions near the bird while it marinated. There hadn't been a significant enough time between death and the placement the night before.
- Two people in Hangman's alley witnessed a monstrosity of a bird fly by the windows. The skin of a turkey, it's scrotum like head twisted in pain-- the body of a duck inside it, one wing bursting through an orifice we're not at liberty to describe-- and the chicken.. One witness said the giblets were not intact.
- Think twice before you try to gobble down a dish like that.
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