[RGRE] Suicide thing I posted on Anon

May 3rd, 2016
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  1. Like the title says, I posted this bit of green while under Anonymous. I didn't know if it would have been well received, so I didn't put my name on it. If I ever add a story to this pastebin that didn't have my name on it in the thread, that's why. Even if that sounds super shady.
  3. The ending's shit by the way, as is my style. I ran out of steam and just made a summary, but I might end this thing properly some day.
  5. ---------------------------
  7. >Day 150 in Equestria
  8. >You are Anon, the only human in ponyland.
  9. >Things are a little bit weird here in Ponyville.
  10. >The ponies are so welcoming and so friendly to you, to the point of it being annoying.
  11. >But the worst offenders are the six Elements of Harmony.
  12. >It's gotten to the point where you're pretty sure that they just want something from you.
  13. >You wish they would stop.
  14. >You know you shouldn't complain that they're too NICE, but yo-"
  15. >"Oh! Oh hello, Anonymous. My my, you sure are wearing that suit wonderfully, Darling."
  16. >Jesus Christ SHUT UP.
  17. "Thank you, Rarity," you reply tightly, "That's very kind of you to say."
  18. >Rarity laps up the praise and nods at you.
  19. >"It's nothing, dear. Would you like to come back with me to the boutique? I would be most interested in learning more about your human fashion, you know."
  20. >There's only so much you can speak on the subject.
  21. "Maybe next time, Rarity. I'm busy right now."
  22. >Rarity looks.... nervous?
  23. >"I-if you're sure, Darling. You're welcome any time, alright?"
  24. "I know, Rarity. And thanks again."
  25. >Rarity gives you an almost pleading look before reluctantly turning around and walking away.
  26. >"O-oh, and Anonymous? You look beautiful, and don't let anypony tell you any different."
  27. >Huh.
  28. >You can seriously just stand around all day and these six horses will just lavish you with compliments and invitations to dinner.
  29. >Why are they doing this?
  31. >Day 156 in Equestria
  32. >"Wow, Starswirl's Guide to Advanced Spellwork? Most colts can't wrap their heads that sort of thing, Anon. I'm so proud of you!"
  33. >Uh.
  34. >Thanks, dad.
  35. >You just flash Twilight an awkward smile and turn to head out the library door.
  36. >Oh! Wait a second, Anon, I've got those books you wanted! Here."
  37. >You grab the tack of tomes and look down their spines, reading the titles.
  38. >Yup, everything's... wait.
  39. "Uh, Twilight?"
  40. >"Yeah? Yes, Anon? What can I - is there something missing, or...?"
  41. >Christ, she's jumpy.
  42. "Why did you give me, 'Living with Stress' and 'Coping with Depression'? I didn't ask for those."
  43. >Twilight beings to sweat.
  44. >She uses her magic to take those two books out of the pile and places them on the table next to you.
  45. >"Whoops! Haha, silly me! They must have just slipped into the pile I had for you. Those are for...."
  46. >She freezes and stares straight ahead for a solid five seconds as she struggles to think of what to say next.
  47. >''....Pinkie Pie."
  48. >Wow.
  49. >Sure thing.
  50. "So anyway, thanks for the books, Twilight."
  51. >"You're welcome! Enjoy them! And if you ever decide that you want these two books or, you know, whatever..."
  52. >She trials off as she magically nudges the self-help books a bit closer to you, clearly hoping that you'll take them.
  53. >You do so reluctantly, eager to leave the library.
  54. "Say, uh, thanks, Twilight. This is.... good."
  55. >"You know where I live if you ever need to talk to somepony!"
  56. >Fucking spaghetti mare.
  58. >Day 169 in Equestria
  60. >"Well shut mah mouth an' paint me red. Y'all weren't fibbin' when you said yer good for physical labour."
  61. >You're sweating heavily as you heave the last bale of hay up into the barn, and Applejack is sweating just as hard.
  62. >"Yer pretty tough for a colt, Anahn. Heck, if you were a mare, Ah'd invite y'all up tuh screw mah brother. Yer some quality human, y'all know that?"
  63. >Aww.
  64. >Applejack is the greatest.
  65. >She's so kind to you.
  66. "All in a day's work," you pant, hands on your knees and trying to catch your breath, "I'm just glad to be useful for a change."
  67. >...did Applejack just twitch?
  68. >In the distance, you can hear what sounds like a cow bell being rung.
  69. >"Far be it for me tuh send a pretty stallion away when soup's on. C'mon, Anon; let's go find Apple Bloom and then we can get somethin' tuh eat."
  70. "Sounds good to me, Applejack."
  71. >It doesn't take you long to find Bloomy asleep in the shade of an old oak tree.
  72. >You ignore Applejack's words of protest as you lift the small filly into your arms and begin to carry her back to the house.
  73. >You smile sweetly as she begins to stir in your arms, unaware of the suddenly anxious look now blooming on Applejack's face.
  74. >"Hngg...." moans Apple Bloom, slowly waking up, "Incognito? S'at you?"
  75. >Who?
  76. "Is that some kind of nickn-hey!"
  77. >Applejack nabs Apple Bloom out of your arms by the scruff of her neck and runs off to the farm house.
  78. >"Sorry, Anon! Dinner invite's off; family emergency! Take t'morrow off, y'hear?!"
  79. >Uh
  80. >What just happened?
  82. >Day 171 in Equestria
  83. >You are sitting on a park bench, trying to make sense of the ponies' odd behaviour.
  84. >The Apple's behaviour is hardly new.
  85. >Ponies always slip up around you, revealing little secrets.
  86. >Roseluck once tried to give you a violet for free, saying that "you humans" tend to like them.
  87. >That one old stallion down the street keeps calling you "Cogs", which didn't make sense until Apple Bloom called you by the wrong name.
  88. >You think you know what's wrong.
  89. >You aren't alone in this world.
  90. >Somewhere out there is another human, and you're going to find him or her.
  91. >You think it's time to talk to Twilight about - "
  92. >"Hey-a Nonny!"
  93. >Ah, Pinkie Pie.
  94. >The worst offender.
  95. "What can I do for you, Pinkie?"
  96. >"Nothin'! I was just coming out to see what you were doing sitting out here all on your lonesome!"
  97. >You're pretty much never left alone.
  98. "....Pinkie, can you answer a question for me?"
  99. >Pinkie nods enthusiastically.
  100. >"Sure thing! What is it? Do you want to know the recipe for my fudge cake? Were you waiting for me to ask you out? Do you want to see me do this one thing with my - "
  101. "Pinkie! No, none of... what?"
  102. >There's a painfully awkward silence.
  103. "No, just let me talk. I'm going to be straight-forward, Pinkie. Is there another human?"
  104. >The silence is deafening.
  105. >Pinkie looks terrified and glances around uncomfortably, looking for an escape route.
  106. "Pinkie; look at me."
  107. >She shakily meets your eyes.
  108. "Is there another human in Equestria?"
  109. >"W-well..."
  110. >No.
  111. >You NEED this.
  112. "Pinkie!"
  113. >You kneel down and grab Pinkie by her shoulders.
  114. "Pinkie, please. I can't stand being alone any more. Whether or not there's another human here, I need to know."
  115. >Pinkie says nothing, so you shake her lightly.
  116. "Pinkie, please!"
  117. >"F-fine! I..... I'll take you to him, Anon."
  118. >Pinkie's hair has straightened out and she looks very sad.
  119. >More sad than you've ever seen her.
  120. >Pinkie leads you across a field about twenty minutes outside of town.
  121. >You near a hill with a young tree on the very tip and the two of you start your climb.
  122. >You tried asking her about the human that came before you, but she's tight-lipped about it.
  123. >She just insists that you wait until you see him.
  124. >......
  125. >Why did you stop at the top of the hill?
  126. >.....
  127. >Oh.
  128. >Oh, no.
  129. "P-pinkie?"
  130. >"H-he's here, Anon. He's sleeping beneath the tree."
  131. >Please God no.
  132. >He was the only other human!
  133. >You fall to your knees.
  134. >This triggers something in Pinkie Pie, who begins to sob loudly.
  135. >When she leaps onto you, you instinctively wrap your arms around her.
  136. >"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Anon, I didn't know he was sad...."
  138. my shitty summary:
  139. and that's it. the implication here is that Incognito was shunned by the ponies and, after months of enduring loneliness, killed himself. Now that Anon, another human, appeared, the ponies are going out of their way to fix their mistakes and try to make up for what they did.
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