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  1. POE
  2. The scan data from MMD's reconnaissance browse confirms Yennelinfag's report.
  3.  
  4. SNAP
  5. They've somehow created a 1000 gigabyte furry dump built within the website itself.
  6.  
  7. BRANCE
  8. A furry dump?
  9.  
  10. SNAP
  11. We're not sure how to describe a screenshot folder of this scale.
  12.  
  13. MAJOR EMATT (horrible memories)
  14. It's another Triss spam wave.
  15.  
  16. POE
  17. I wish that were the case, Major.
  18. This was the Triss spam.
  19. This is FurAffinity.
  20.  
  21. HAN
  22. So it's big.
  23.  
  24. ADMIRAL ACKBAR
  25. How is it possible to post this many furry images?
  26.  
  27. FINN
  28. It uses the power of the server domain. As the furry dump is charged, the server domain is drained until it disappears.
  29.  
  30. LEIA (eyes on datacard)
  31. The Waifufags: they're charging the furry dump again, now.
  32. (then, heart sinking) Our website is the next target.
  33.  
  34. C-3PO
  35. Oh my. Without the RPGCodex discussions, we're doomed.
  36.  
  37. HAN
  38. Okay, how do we doxx it?
  39. (all eyes on him) There's always a way to do that.
  40.  
  41. LEIA
  42. Cruab's right.
  43.  
  44. ADMIRAL STATURA (at first hesitant)
  45. In order for that amount of furry porn to be contained, FurAffinity would need some kind of picture server...
  46.  
  47. FINN
  48. There is one.
  49. Not Safe For Work pictures. Here.
  50.  
  51. ADMIRAL STATURA (hypothesizing)
  52. If we can doxx that picture server, it might force them to roll back to a recovery point and cripple the furry dump.
  53.  
  54. MAJOR EMATT
  55. ... Maybe the entire website.
  56.  
  57. POE
  58. We'll go in there and we'll hit that picture server with every post we got.
  59.  
  60. ADMIRAL ACKBAR
  61. They have defensive firewalls that our posts cannot penetrate.
  62.  
  63. HAN
  64. We disable the firewalls.
  65. (to Finn) Kid, you worked there, what do you got?
  66.  
  67. FINN (beat, then:)
  68. I can do it.
  69.  
  70. HAN
  71. I like this guy.
  72.  
  73. FINN
  74. I can disable the firewalls. But I have to be there, on the website--
  75.  
  76. HAN
  77. We'll get you there.
  78.  
  79. LEIA
  80. Cruab, how?
  81.  
  82. HAN
  83. If I told you, you wouldn't like it.
  84.  
  85. POE
  86. So we disable the firewalls, take out the picture server and we delete their porn collection. All right. Let's go!
  87. --
  88. HAN
  89. Fur, check that falseflagging. Come on. Let's go. -- Yennelinfag, be careful with those - they're ransomware.
  90.  
  91. FINN
  92. Now you tell me?
  93.  
  94. LEIA
  95. No matter how much we fought, I've always hated watching you leave.
  96.  
  97. HAN
  98. That's what I did it. So you'd miss me.
  99.  
  100. LEIA
  101. I did miss you.
  102.  
  103. HAN
  104. It wasn't all bad, was it? Huh? Some of it was...good.
  105.  
  106. LEIA
  107. ... Pretty good.
  108.  
  109. HAN
  110. Some things never change.
  111.  
  112. LEIA (smiles)
  113. True. You still drive me crazy.
  114. If you see our friend again, bring him home.
  115. ---
  116. STORMTROOPER
  117. Sir, sensors triggered in waifu folder 718. We're searching the area.
  118.  
  119. KYLO REN
  120. She's just beginning to test her powers. The longer it takes to find her, the more dangerous she becomes.
  121. ---
  122. FINN
  123. How are we getting in?
  124.  
  125. HAN
  126. Their firewalls have a fractional refresh rate. Keeps anything posting posting less than twelve pictures at a time from getting through.
  127.  
  128. FINN
  129. We're gonna make our log-in attempt while posting that many pictures?!
  130. (chewbacca sounds)
  131. HAN
  132. Alright, Fur, get ready.
  133. (chewbacca sounds)
  134. And Now!
  135. (chewbacca sounds)
  136. I AM CHECKING THE SPAM FOLDER!!!
  137. I post any more, they'll ban us!
  138. –
  139. OFFICER
  140. Sir, she was not found in waifu folder 718 but all waifuposters are on alert.
  141.  
  142. KYLO REN
  143. Put every waifu folder on lock-down. She's going to try to steal a waifu picture to--
  144. Cruab...
  145. --
  146. FINN
  147. The interracial porn is behind that spoiler tag. We'll get in that way.
  148.  
  149. HAN
  150. What was your job when you were based here?
  151.  
  152. FINN
  153. Cuckposting.
  154.  
  155. HAN
  156. Cuckposting? Then how do you know how to disable the firewalls?
  157.  
  158. FINN
  159. I don't. I'm just here to get Elffriend.
  160.  
  161. HAN
  162. People are counting on us! 4chan is counting on us--!
  163.  
  164. FINN
  165. Cruab, we'll figure it out! We'll use the Memes!
  166.  
  167. HAN
  168. That's not how the Memes work--!
  169. (chewbacca sounds)
  170. Oh really, you think there's too many furry pictures here?
  171.  
  172. FINN
  173. Come on!
  174. --
  175. GENERAL HUX
  176. Report.
  177.  
  178. FIRST ORDER OFFICER
  179. Furry dump charged in fifteen minutes, sir.
  180. --
  181. STORMTROOPER FN-9330
  182. Hey!
  183.  
  184. HAN
  185. The longer we're here, less luck we're going to have. The firewalls?
  186.  
  187. FINN
  188. I have an idea about that.
  189. --
  190. FINN
  191. Remember me?
  192.  
  193. CAPTAIN PHASMA
  194. Y3NN-3L1NF4G.
  195.  
  196. FINN
  197. Not anymore. The name's Yennelinfag, and I'm in charge. I'm in charge now, Mevefag. I'm in charge.
  198.  
  199. HAN
  200. It's time to stop posting. It's time to stop posting.
  201.  
  202. FINN
  203. Follow me.
  204. --
  205. FINN
  206. You want me to delete all your Meve pictures? Turn off the firewalls.
  207.  
  208. CAPTAIN PHASMA
  209. You're making a big mistake.
  210.  
  211. FINN
  212. Do it.
  213. Cruab, if this works, we're not going to have a lot of time to find Elffriend.
  214.  
  215. HAN
  216. Don't worry kid, we won't leave here without her.
  217.  
  218. CAPTAIN PHASMA (to Finn, cruel)
  219. You can't be so stupid as to think this will be easy. My waifuposters will storm this thread and kill you all.
  220.  
  221. FINN
  222. I disagree. What do we do with her?
  223.  
  224. HAN
  225. Is there a containment board? Something like /r9k/?
  226.  
  227. FINN
  228. Yeah, there is...
  229. ---
  230. OFFICER
  231. General, their firewalls are down!
  232.  
  233. C-3PO
  234. Thank the Maker!
  235.  
  236. LEIA
  237. Cruab did it! Send them in!
  238.  
  239. ADMIRAL STATURA
  240. Give Blindy full authorization to post.
  241.  
  242. REAR ADMIRAL GULCH
  243. Black Leader, enter the website. On your call.
  244.  
  245. POE
  246. Roger, base -- red squad, blue squad, take my lead.
  247.  
  248. YOLO ZIFF
  249. Dropping out of search engine.
  250. ---
  251. POE
  252. Almost in range! Hit the target dead center, as many posts as we can get!
  253.  
  254. SNAP
  255. Approaching target.
  256. --
  257. GENERAL HUX
  258. Dispatch all waifu pictures...
  259.  
  260. COLONEL DATOO
  261. Yes, Rochefren.
  262. --
  263. POE
  264. Let's light it up!
  265.  
  266. LT. BASTIAN
  267. Direct post!
  268.  
  269. ELLO ASTY
  270. But no replies!
  271.  
  272. POE
  273. Yeah, we gotta keep posting! Another posting wave! Remember, when that server domain is gone, that furry dump will be ready to post! But as long as the domain's up, we got a chance.
  274. (cursed-hollows beeps)
  275. Guys, we got a lot of company!
  276. ---
  277. FINN
  278. We'll use the ransomware to disable that password protection. I'll go in and bait for (You)s, but I'm gonna need cover.
  279.  
  280. HAN
  281. You sure you're up for this?
  282.  
  283. FINN
  284. Hell no -- I'll go in find and try to find Elffriend -- (improvising, fast) -- The waifuposters'll be on our tail. We have to be ready for that. There's an off-topic thread that'll lead --
  285. (Han starts pointing with his chin to something behind Finn) Why are you doing that? Why are you doing -- this? I'm trying to come up with a plan.
  286. (chewbacca sounds)
  287. ---
  288. ADMIRAL ACKBAR
  289. The picture server's still operational.
  290.  
  291. OFFICER
  292. Friendly posters coming back for another round of (You)s!
  293. ---
  294. HAN
  295. Are you all right?
  296.  
  297. REY
  298. Yeah.
  299.  
  300. HAN
  301. Good.
  302.  
  303. FINN
  304. What happened -- did he hurt you?
  305.  
  306. REY
  307. Yennelinfag. What are you doing here?!
  308.  
  309. FINN
  310. We came back for you.
  311. (chewbacca sounds)
  312. What'd he say?
  313.  
  314. REY (shrugs, smiles, though nearly in tears)
  315. ... That it was your idea.
  316. Thank you.
  317.  
  318. FINN
  319. How did you get away?
  320.  
  321. REY
  322. I can't explain it. And you wouldn't believe it.
  323.  
  324. HAN
  325. Escape now. ERP later.
  326. ---
  327. SNAP
  328. I got one behind me. See it?
  329.  
  330. JESS
  331. Yeah, I'm on it!
  332.  
  333. JESS
  334. TFShivers's been baited!
  335.  
  336. SNAP
  337. Watch out for waifu posts!
  338. -
  339. HAN
  340. They're in trouble. We can't leave.
  341. (to Finn, re: Chewie) My friend here has a bag full of ransomware. Let's use it.
  342. --
  343. KAYDEL KO CONNIX
  344. General, are you seeing this?
  345.  
  346. VOBER DAND
  347. Two more friendly posters down. That's half our posters gone.
  348.  
  349. C-3PO
  350. And their furry dump will be fully charged in 10 minutes! It would take a miracle to save us now.
  351. ---
  352. (chewbacca sounds)
  353. HAN
  354. That girl knows her stuff.
  355. We'll install the ransomware on every other forum.
  356. (chewbacca sounds)
  357. You're right. That's a better idea.
  358. You take the top.
  359. I'll go down below. .exe. We'll meet back here.
  360. -
  361. KYLO REN
  362. Find them.
  363. -
  364. HAN
  365. Picturefriend!
  366.  
  367. KYLO REN
  368. Cruab. I've been waiting for this day for a long time.
  369.  
  370. HAN
  371. Lay off the ironic shitposting. You don't need it.
  372.  
  373. KYLO REN
  374. What do you think you'll see if I do?
  375.  
  376. HAN
  377. The face of my friend.
  378.  
  379. KYLO REN (MASK OFF)
  380. Your friend is gone. He was weak and foolish, like you. So I destroyed him.
  381.  
  382. HAN
  383. That's what The Furry Ringleader wants you to believe but it's not true. My friend is alive.
  384.  
  385. KYLO REN
  386. No. The Furry Ringleader is wise.
  387.  
  388. HAN
  389. The Furry Ringleader is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants, he'll ban you -- you know it's true.
  390.  
  391. KYLO REN
  392. It's too late.
  393.  
  394. HAN
  395. No it's not. Leave here with me. Come home. We miss you.
  396.  
  397. KYLO REN
  398. I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain.
  399. I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?
  400.  
  401. HAN
  402. Yes. Anything.
  403.  
  404. KYLO REN
  405. Thank you.
  406.  
  407. FINN (Panting)
  408. Cruab.
  409.  
  410. REY (also panting)
  411. No, no.
  412. (angry and sad chewbacca sounds)
  413. ---
  414. ADMIRAL ACKBAR
  415. The picture server's been damaged but is still functional.
  416.  
  417. OFFICER TABALA ZO
  418. Admiral, their furry dump will post in two minutes.
  419. ---
  420. FINN The Cow Yen's this way.
  421. ---
  422. KYLO REN
  423. We're not done yet.
  424.  
  425. REY
  426. You're a monster!
  427.  
  428. KYLO REN
  429. It's just us now. Cruab can't save you.
  430.  
  431. FINN
  432. Elffriend! Elffriend! Elffriend... Elffriend... Oh no. Oh no no no...
  433.  
  434. KYLO REN
  435. NORMIE!
  436. That screenshot folder. It belongs to me!
  437.  
  438. FINN
  439. Come get it.
  440. ---
  441. NIV LEK
  442. We just lost Opera!
  443.  
  444. JESS
  445. We're overwhelmed! What do we do? It isn't working!
  446.  
  447. YOLO ZIFF
  448. Black Leader, there's a brand new hole in that picture server. Looks like our friends got in!
  449.  
  450. POE
  451. Red Four! Red Six! Cover us!
  452.  
  453. LT. BASTIAN
  454. I'm on it!
  455.  
  456. ELLO ASTY
  457. Roger!
  458.  
  459. POE
  460. Everybody else, doxx the target hard! Post everything you got!
  461. -
  462. POE
  463. I need some help here! I need some help!
  464.  
  465. LT. BASTIAN
  466. I'm coming in!
  467.  
  468. JESS
  469. Watch out!
  470.  
  471. ELLO ASTY
  472. I've been baited!
  473.  
  474. POE
  475. All teams - I'm going in! Pull up and cover me!
  476.  
  477. NIV LEK
  478. Copy that, Black Leader! Good luck, Blindy!
  479. ---
  480. STARKILLER TECHNICIAN
  481. Furry dump at full capacity in thirty seconds.
  482.  
  483. GENERAL HUX
  484. Prepare to post.
  485. ---
  486. KYLO REN
  487. You need a teacher! I can show you the ways of the Memes!
  488.  
  489. REY
  490. The Memes.
  491. ---
  492. COLONEL DATOO
  493. Newfag, get back to your station!
  494.  
  495. YOUNG TECHNICIAN (stops, fleetingly)
  496. Just look. We won't survive -- even Rochefren has gone!
  497. ---
  498. GENERAL HUX (V.O.)
  499. Furry Ringleader.
  500. The picture server has ruptured. The collapse of the website has begun.
  501.  
  502. SNOKE
  503. Leave FurAffinity at once and come to me with BigGuy4U.
  504. (grim) It is time to complete his training.
  505. ---
  506. REY
  507. Yennelinfag! Yennelinfag...
  508. ---
  509. POE
  510. All posters! I got eyes on them!
  511.  
  512. SNAP
  513. Yes!
  514.  
  515. POE
  516. Our job's done here. Let's go home!
  517. ---
  518. MEDIC
  519. Easy, easy. He's hurt. We've got a unique IP.
  520. ---
  521. (cursed-hollows beeps, true-cdpr-fans beeps back)
  522. C-3PO
  523. true-cdpr-fans! You've come back! You found what? How dare you call me that!
  524. (true-cdpr-fans beeps)
  525. Find Master Frogfriend how? Come, true-cdpr-fans! We must go tell the others at once!
  526. General? Excuse me, General?
  527. true-cdpr-fans may contain some much needed good news.
  528.  
  529. LEIA
  530. Tell me.
  531.  
  532. (cursed-hollows beeps)
  533. POE
  534. Yeah, all right, buddy, hold on --
  535.  
  536. C-3PO
  537. Oh! The map! It is complete!
  538.  
  539. LEIA (hand on her heart)
  540. -- Frogfriend --
  541.  
  542. C-3PO (to R2-D2)
  543. Oh my dear friend. How I've missed you.
  544. ---
  545. REY
  546. We'll see each other again. I believe that. Thank you, my friend.
  547.  
  548. LEIA
  549. Elffriend.
  550. May the Memes be with you.
  551.  
  552. (outtro music)
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