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Spearmaster 67 Edits

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Sep 1st, 2017
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  1. magic spear burdock
  2. This is actually an ITEM NAME, so it should be capitalized, imo...so it should be "Magic Spear Burdock" instead. ^^ It seems like it was only mentioned once in this form, but it's something to keep in mind. ^^
  3.  
  4. Here's the actual list of changes that should be made, imo:
  5.  
  6.  
  7. A large number of men come from the entrance.
  8. A large number of men came from the entrance.
  9.  
  10. A sulking man wearing a beret in the middle of the group issues instructions.
  11. A sulking man wearing a beret in the middle of the group was issuing instructions.
  12.  
  13. “This blond hair, long-eared child. Are you called Rubia?”
  14. “The blond haired, long-eared child. Are you called Rubia?”
  15.  
  16. The dark blue beret of a cross emblazoned on it, indicating a militia or country.
  17. The dark blue beret has a cross emblazoned on it, indicating either a militia or a country.
  18.  
  19. The lines of his face a sharp, his eyes are big and his skin tanned.
  20. The lines of his face a sharp, his eyes are big and his skin tanned.
  21.  
  22. He also has a big nose, his earlobes are enlarged like those of a Buddha statue.
  23. He also has a big nose, and his earlobes are enlarged like what you'd see on a statue of Buddha.
  24.  
  25. A thick black and white collar is gathered around his neck, his chest plate is marked with a slightly faded black and yellow crest.
  26. A thick black and white collar is gathered around his neck, and his chest plate is marked with a slightly faded black and yellow crest.
  27.  
  28. A yellow cross stands out of the left side.
  29. A yellow cross stands out on the left side.
  30.  
  31. His hat and armor are different from the other people. He’s the leader?
  32. His hat and armor are different from the other people. Is he the leader?
  33.  
  34. Seeing a girl with such a face, I’ll help.
  35. Seeing a girl make such a face, of course I’ll help.
  36.  
  37. I open my over coat and extends my arms encased in purple armor.
  38. I opened my overcoat and extended my arms encased in purple armor.
  39.  
  40. The magic spear burdock appears in my right hand.
  41. The Magic Spear Burdock appeared in my right hand.
  42.  
  43. The sudden appearance of the weapon in my right-hand causes a stir amongst the soldiers of the slave firm.
  44. The sudden appearance of the weapon in my right-hand caused a stir amongst the soldiers of the slave firm.
  45.  
  46. “You understand? As you can see, we are 【Sand Falcon】 and received approval to 【Apprehend People】 by the slave system of the country.”
  47. “You understand? As you can see, we are 【Sand Falcon】 and we have received approval from this country's slavery system to 【Apprehend People】.”
  48.  
  49. The desert country in involved?
  50. The desert country is involved?
  51.  
  52. “Hou, such a fool… Still, you’re in this country. Since you’re protecting an elf in the 【Holy Church’s】 country, that makes you a heretic too. You’ll be fighting the 【Holy Country Hesfurato】 the 【Holy Church】 and 【Brimang Slaving Firm】…Are you okay with that?”
  53. “Hou, such a fool… Still, you’re in this country. Since you’re protecting an elf in the 【Holy Church’s】 country, that makes you a heretic too. You’ll be fighting the 【Holy Country Hesfrat】, the 【Holy Church】, and the 【Brimang Slavery Firm】… Are you okay with that?”
  54.  
  55. “…I don’t care. As for the slave system, well, it doesn’t matter. Rather, I’d like a slave, a beautiful slave I can flirt with. …However, I’ve gotten to know this child. Now, I can’t abandon her.”
  56. “…I don’t care. As for the slave system… well, it doesn’t matter. Rather, I’d like a slave. A beautiful slave I can flirt with. …However, I’ve gotten to know this child. Now, I can’t abandon her.”
  57.  
  58. From being me, I hear Rubia’s gentle voice.
  59. From behind me, I heard Rubia’s gentle voice.
  60.  
  61. Thus, while giving my warning, I rest the magic halberd on my shoulder and begin to move the finger on my left hand.
  62. Thus, while I gave my warning, I rested the magic halberd on my shoulder and began to move the fingers on my left hand.
  63.  
  64. With a furious expression, he approaches, spit flying from his mouth.
  65. He approached with a furious expression and spit flying from his mouth.
  66.  
  67. Another reacts as well.
  68. Another reacted as well.
  69.  
  70. Drawing their long sword, they come running at me.
  71. Drawing their long sword, they came running at me.
  72.  
  73. I change my grip and sweep the crimson ax blade sideways.
  74. I changed my grip and swept the crimson ax blade sideways.
  75.  
  76. The moment the men are close enough- I thrust the magic spear forwards.
  77. The moment the men were close enough- I thrusted the magic spear forward.
  78.  
  79. The ax blade collides with the enemy.
  80. The ax blade collided with the enemy.
  81.  
  82. A sizzling sound arises afterward.
  83. A sizzling sound arose afterward.
  84.  
  85. The two people are immediately sliced in half, their internal organs dance through the air.
  86. The two people were instantly sliced in half, and their internal organs danced through the air.
  87.  
  88. The smell of burnt flesh can be detected.
  89. The smell of burnt flesh could be detected.
  90.  
  91. Zaga told me the “Crimson ax blade” produce fire attribute, but I didn’t expect this much.
  92. Zaga told me the “crimson ax blade” produces the fire attribute, but I didn’t expect this much.
  93.  
  94. I ignore their small fry banter… I reassess the feeling of Burdock.
  95. I ignored their small fry banter… and reassessed the feeling of Burdock.
  96.  
  97. I spin the halberd around, checking its balance. I toss it between my hands to check its weight, again, I turn it from my left hand back to my right.
  98. I spun the halberd around, checking its balance. I tossed it between my hands to check its weight, and again, I turned it from my left hand back to my right.
  99.  
  100. Finally, extending my right arm- firmly, I stop the movement of the halberd.
  101. Finally, I extended my right arm- firmly stopping the movement of the halberd.
  102.  
  103. Extending my empty left hand, I take my stance.
  104. Extending my empty left hand, I took my stance.
  105.  
  106. Even once I stop spinning Burdock, they stand, petrified.
  107. Even after I stopped spinning Burdock, they stood there, petrified.
  108.  
  109. Hearing my words, Rollo move immediately.
  110. Hearing my words, Rollo moved immediately.
  111.  
  112. She approaches from behind the stunned men, silent like an assassin, extended her feelers and piercing a soldier’s skull with a bone sword.
  113. She approached the stunned men from behind, silent like an assassin, extended her feelers, and pierced a soldier’s skull with a bone sword.
  114.  
  115. He dies simply.
  116. He died simply.
  117.  
  118. Staying low, Rollo moves to her next target.
  119. Staying low, Rollo moved to her next target.
  120.  
  121. Aiming for the leg of a defenseless man, she swipes with her claws at the back of his knee, leaving his flesh hanging in strips.
  122. Aiming for the leg of a defenseless man, she used her claws to swipe at the back of his knee, leaving his flesh hanging in strips.
  123.  
  124. Continuing, she wraps a feeler around a leg of the injured man, pulling him to the ground.
  125. Continuing, she wrapped a feeler around the leg of the injured man and pulled him to the ground.
  126.  
  127. Like that, she tears into his throat while releasing a feline roar.
  128. Like that, she tore into his throat while releasing a feline roar.
  129.  
  130. At such a time, Rollo is running through the enemy group, keeping them disorganized.
  131. At such a time, Rollo ran through the enemy group, keeping them disorganized.
  132.  
  133. A man launches a counter attack, aiming the tip of his long spear at Rollodinu, but she easily slips around the attack, actually moving close enough to attack him. Thus, with fangs barred she leaps.
  134. One of the men launched a counter attack, aiming the tip of his long spear at Rollodinu. However, she easily slipped past the attack, actually moving close enough to attack him. Thus, with fangs bared, she leaped.
  135.  
  136. Again, she goes for the throat, tearing out his windpipe.
  137. Again, she went for the throat, tearing out his windpipe.
  138.  
  139. The man drops his spear and collapses, clutching his neck.
  140. The man dropped his spear and collapsed, clutching his neck.
  141.  
  142. Of course- I join the fight.
  143. Of course- I joined the fight.
  144.  
  145. A slanting blow of the ax blade cuts into a man abdomen, then I spin around to the left.
  146. A slanting blow of the ax blade cut into a man's abdomen, then I spun around to the left.
  147.  
  148. Forcibly pulling on the Crimson halberd, it is ripped from the man stomach without slowing me down.
  149. Forcibly pulling on the Crimson halberd, it was ripped from the man's stomach without slowing me down.
  150.  
  151. I spin the magic spear in my right hand. The red ax blade moves, knocking away the man’s sword.
  152. I spun the magic spear in my right hand. The red ax blade moved, knocking away the man’s sword.
  153.  
  154. The man is bent backward, exposing his chest.
  155. The man bent backward, exposing his chest.
  156.  
  157. Back, I present the crimson sear point to his open chest.
  158. In return, I presented the crimson spear point to his open chest.
  159.  
  160. The hole where the spear punctures his chest begins to sizzle and his leather armor bursts into flames.
  161. The hole where the spear punctured his chest began to sizzle and his leather armor burst into flames.
  162.  
  163. The burning man screams and writhes in pain. His arms twists, trying to call out for help…
  164. The burning man screamed and writhed in pain. His arms twisted, trying to call out for help…
  165.  
  166. But no one can save him, once the flames grow he breathes his last breath and falls.
  167. But no one could save him, once the flames grew he breathed his last breath and fell.
  168.  
  169. The other people didn’t burn like that, so it seems to be something that happens occasionally.
  170. The other people didn’t burn like that, so it seems to be something that ony happens occasionally.
  171.  
  172. Seeing him be burned to death, the surrounding men stop moving.
  173. Seeing him be burned to death, the surrounding men stopped moving.
  174.  
  175. I lean forward, aiming for a nearby man. His head like a base ball, I smack him with the butt end. Delivering a home run, the blue magic dragon tone destroys his head, splattering brain matter.
  176. I leaned forward, aiming for a nearby man. Treating his head like a baseball, I smacked him with the butt end of the spear. Delivering a home run, the blue magic dragon stone destroyed his head, splattering brain matter around.
  177.  
  178. The dense blood and brain matter whirls through the air and blood gushes out of his neck.
  179. The dense blood and brain matter whirled through the air and blood gushed out of his neck.
  180.  
  181. Blood lands on my face. So, I swallow the blood.
  182. Blood landed on my face. In response, I swallowed it.
  183.  
  184. Its brutality is different than Zaga’s description as beautiful.
  185. Its brutality is different from Zaga’s description of it being beautiful.
  186.  
  187. I have such a thought while displaying a blood stained smile.
  188. I had such a thought while displaying a blood stained smile.
  189.  
  190. The men who can see me become frightened.
  191. The men who could see me became frightened.
  192.  
  193. Was the attack too powerful and scared everyone?
  194. Did everyone become scared because the attack was too powerful?
  195.  
  196. The 【Slave Takers】turn around and escape in every direction.
  197. The 【Slave Takers】 turned around and escaped in every direction.
  198.  
  199. My face covered in blood I chase after the escaping men.
  200. I chased after the escaping men while my face was covered in blood.
  201.  
  202. -I swing the magic halberd to remove the gore stuck to the blue magic dragon stone.
  203. -I swung the magic halberd to remove the gore stuck to the blue magic dragon stone.
  204.  
  205. The butt end of the shaft catches the leg of an escaping man, tripping him.
  206. The butt end of the shaft caught the leg of an escaping man, tripping him.
  207.  
  208. Burdock is spun around and stabbed into his head.
  209. I spun Burdock around and stabbed it into his head.
  210.  
  211. Of course, it’s the blue magic dragon stone.
  212. Of course, it was with the blue magic dragon stone.
  213.  
  214. The fallen man’s head is pulverized.
  215. The fallen man’s head was pulverized.
  216.  
  217. “-Shit, don’t run away. It will make it easier to kill.”
  218. “-Shit, don’t run away. It will make it easier for him to kill you.”
  219.  
  220. Captain Zenbi seems to be in charge, he yells out commands to the company.
  221. Captain Zenbi seems to be in charge, as he yells out commands to the company.
  222.  
  223. This time, I change to spear’s aim.
  224. This time, I changed my spear’s aim.
  225.  
  226. I am not kind, I smile a wicked grin.
  227. I am not kind, so smiled with a wicked grin.
  228.  
  229. A man frightened eyes extends his spear.
  230. A man with frightened eyes extends his spear towards me.
  231.  
  232. -What is this, moisture, sluggish, slow, it’s too slow! The wooden practice dolls of the past were faster!!
  233. ...Umm..."moisture"? Rather than that, I think it should just be something like "dull" instead, to go along with the other words here. "Moisture" just makes no sense tbh, heh.
  234.  
  235. While remembering the Goldiba’s “Dancing Prison,” I avoid the man’s spear thrust with a half toe-turn.
  236. While remembering the Goldiba’s “Dancing Prison,” I avoided the man’s spear thrust with a half toe-turn.
  237.  
  238. I enter the Spearman’s range while turning, give a cross counter, and deliver the crimson ax blade to the man’s shoulder.
  239. I entered the spearman’s range while turning, gave a cross counter, and delivered the crimson ax blade to the man’s shoulder.
  240.  
  241. The red ax blade sinks to the middle of the enemy Spearman’s chest.
  242. The red ax blade sank to the middle of the enemy spearman’s chest.
  243.  
  244. The Spearman makes a strange sound that isn’t a scream.
  245. The spearman made a strange sound that wasn’t a scream.
  246.  
  247. Dark blood spouts from his chest.
  248. Dark blood spouted from his chest.
  249.  
  250. The blood that touches the crimson blade evaporates, the smell of iron fills the air.
  251. The blood that touched the crimson blade evaporated, and the smell of iron filled the air.
  252.  
  253. Such a thing- I pull out the crimson ax by kicking the cowardly Spearman’s chest.
  254. Such a thing- I pulled the crimson ax out by kicking the cowardly spearman’s chest.
  255.  
  256. And, I swing the magic halberd to secure this section of the battle field.
  257. Then, I swung the magic halberd to secure this section of the battlefield.
  258.  
  259. Turning so fast as to look like a purple blur- I spin burdock like the blades of an electric fan.
  260. Turning so fast that I looked like a purple blur- I spun Burdock like the blades of an electric fan.
  261.  
  262. The thrown knives are repelled, bouncing away.
  263. I repelled the thrown knives, and they bounced away.
  264.  
  265. After repelling the knives, my partner is a soldier different than the one who threw the knives, actually throwing his longsword.
  266. After repelling the knives, my opponent was a different soldier than the one who threw the knives, and he actually threw his longsword.
  267.  
  268. As a matter of course, I repel the long sword.
  269. As a matter of course, I repelled the long sword.
  270.  
  271. I ignore the man who threw the knives.
  272. I ignored the man who threw the knives.
  273.  
  274. I turn to the man who threw away his long sword and kicks the ground with fighting moji enhanced legs.
  275. I turned towards the man who threw away his long sword and kicked the ground with fighting moji enhanced legs.
  276.  
  277. With the explosive acceleration, he is instantly in range of my halberd.
  278. With the explosive acceleration, he was instantly within range of my halberd.
  279.  
  280. I activate <Thrust> and the power spreads up from my legs through my arms.
  281. I activated <Thrust>, and power spread up from my legs and through my arms.
  282.  
  283. The wind is dyed crimson and purple.
  284. The wind was dyed crimson and purple.
  285.  
  286. -The first time I’ve used a skill with Burdock.
  287. -It's the first time I’ve used the skill with Burdock.
  288.  
  289. The thrust easily pierces through the man’s leather armor, creating a circular red wound.
  290. The thrust easily pierced through the man’s leather armor, creating a circular red wound.
  291.  
  292. The man’s face twists in agony, his knees hit the ground, and his body convulses.
  293. The man’s face twisted in agony as his knees hit the ground and his body convulsed.
  294.  
  295. With his arms stretched out to either side, he stops moving.
  296. With his arms stretched out to either side, he stopped moving.
  297.  
  298. At that moment, the famous scene from the Platoon movie is recalled.
  299. At that moment, I recalled the famous scene from the Platoon movie.
  300.  
  301. However, with the next scene, the memory is completely dispersed.
  302. However, with the next scene, the memory was completely dispersed.
  303.  
  304. The circular crimson wound in the immobile man’s chest becomes thick, blood burst out like a broken balloon and the wound catches fire.
  305. The circular crimson wound in the immobile man’s chest became thick, and blood burst out like a broken balloon as the wound caught fire.
  306.  
  307. The flames bloom like a lotus and the wound is in the shape of a crescent moon.
  308. The flames bloomed like a lotus and the wound was in the shape of a crescent moon.
  309.  
  310. There is the sound of collapsing.
  311. Then, I heard the sound of collapsing.
  312.  
  313. I turn in the direction of the sound.
  314. I turned in the direction of the sound.
  315.  
  316. Just now, Rollo killed the man who threw knives at me.
  317. Just now, Rollo killed the man who threw the knives at me.
  318.  
  319. He is writhing on the ground. He is trying to staunch the blood flowing from his neck.
  320. He's writhing on the ground, trying to staunch the blood flowing from his neck.
  321.  
  322. Seeing he gruesome scene, it’s not hard to imagine why.
  323. Seeing the gruesome scene, it’s not hard to imagine why.
  324.  
  325. Captain Zenbi’s will to fight vanishes, his long swords leaves his hand and his face is full of worry.
  326. Captain Zenbi’s will to fight vanished, and with a face full of worry, his long sword left his hand.
  327.  
  328. 【Sand Hawk】 is the name of a professional unit that catches slaves for 【Brimang Slave Firm】.
  329. 【Sand Hawk】 is the name of a professional unit that catches slaves for the 【Brimang Slavery Firm】.
  330.  
  331. It would seem Brimang Slave Firm is one of the few trading companies with permission from 【Holy Country Hesfurato】 to hunt down slaves.
  332. It seems that the Brimang Slavery Firm is one of the few trading companies that has 【Holy Country Hesfrat's】 permission to hunt down slaves.
  333.  
  334. Not only 【Holy Country Hesfurato】, they also cross the border into the southern desert of 【Amefu Founder Country】 and kidnap those with elven blood in the oasis cities, turning them into slaves.
  335. Not only do they do this in 【Holy Country Hesfrat】, but they also cross the border into the southern deserts of 【Amefu Founder Country】 and kidnap those with elven blood from the oasis cities, turning them into slaves.
  336.  
  337. However, as 【Amefu Founder Country】 doesn’t often allow it, this rarely happens in the open.
  338. However, as 【Amefu Founder Country】 doesn’t allow this to happen often, it rarely happens in the open.
  339.  
  340. He tells me all this boastfully.
  341. He boastfully told me all of this.
  342.  
  343. I try asking about Rubia.
  344. I'll try asking about Rubia.
  345.  
  346. Hearing what he said, Rubia shows an expression of disbelief.
  347. Hearing what he said, Rubia showed an expression of disbelief.
  348.  
  349. “You lie, Donnet-sama, Priest-sama would never do such a thing.”
  350. “You lie. Donnet-sama, Priest-sama would never do such a thing.”
  351.  
  352. Upon seeing Rubia’s expression, Zenbi makes a twisted face.
  353. Upon seeing Rubia’s expression, Zenbi made a twisted face.
  354.  
  355. “Iya, you know this person? The man who introduced himself as Donnet had blue eyes, he was wearing the green vestments only priests of the Holy Church are permitted to wear.”
  356. “Iya, you know this person? The man who introduced himself as Donnet had blue eyes, and he was wearing the green vestments that only priests of the Holy Church are permitted to wear.”
  357.  
  358. Zenbi’s words corner Rubia further.
  359. Zenbi’s words cornered Rubia further.
  360.  
  361. “Priest Donnet-sama said, he had been in contact with the Pope of the Holy Church, that he had obtained permission from one of the Cardinals. He was complaining about getting rid of the person with elf blood he’d been protecting.”
  362. “Priest Donnet-sama said that he had been in contact with the Pope of the Holy Church, and that he had obtained permission from one of the Cardinals. He was complaining about getting rid of the person with elf blood that he’d been protecting.”
  363.  
  364. Rubia looks like she will start crying.
  365. Rubia looks like she's about to start crying.
  366.  
  367. “I was directly asked by the Priest. While he was away at Mount. Forton, take care of Rubia, the fair-haired girl with elven ears. He paid in gold, so I remember it well.”
  368. “I was directly asked by the Priest. While he was away at Mt. Forton, take care of Rubia, the fair-haired girl with elven ears. He paid in gold, so I remember it well.”
  369.  
  370. The shock is too much, she breaks down in tears.
  371. The shock was too much, and she broke down in tears.
  372.  
  373. Instead of the sharp end, I point to blue magic dragon stone.
  374. Instead of the sharp end, I aimed the blue magic dragon stone.
  375.  
  376. I try using the magic dragon stone.
  377. I'll try using the magic dragon stone.
  378.  
  379. “Ma, wait a moment…will you help me?”
  380. “Ma, wait a moment…won't you help me?”
  381.  
  382. She wipes away her tears with a dirty cuff and takes a distance.
  383. She wiped away her tears with a dirty cuff and took some distance.
  384.  
  385. “-Then, I told you everything, wait, even if you kill me, someone else will come next.”
  386. “-Then, I told you everything. Wait, even if you kill me, someone else will come again.”
  387.  
  388. I ignore him and pour mana into the magic spear.
  389. I ignored him and poured mana into the magic spear.
  390.  
  391. That moment- the magic dragon stone begins to shine, a pillar of ice is forcefully shot.
  392. That moment- the magic dragon stone began to shine, and a pillar of ice was forcefully shot.
  393.  
  394. Zenbia is unable to react.
  395. Zenbia was unable to react.
  396.  
  397. The icicle extends, piercing through Zenbi’s brows.
  398. The icicle extended, piercing through Zenbi’s brow.
  399.  
  400. His head is torn off and pinned to the church’s wall.
  401. His head was then torn off and pinned to the church’s wall.
  402.  
  403. Moreover, the icicle pierces through the wall.
  404. Moreover, the icicle pierced through the wall.
  405.  
  406. Blood gushes from Zenbi’s severed neck.
  407. Blood gushed from Zenbi’s severed neck.
  408.  
  409. The body collapses powerlessly.
  410. His body collapsed powerlessly.
  411.  
  412. I extended too fast, did I use too much mana?
  413. It extended too fast. Did I use too much mana?
  414.  
  415. When I break it off from the spear it melts away.
  416. When I broke it off from the spear, it melted away.
  417.  
  418. Cold air lingers behind.
  419. Cold air lingered afterwards.
  420.  
  421. I was able to experiment a few times.
  422. I experimented with it a few times.
  423.  
  424. It seems I can adjust this ice shaft with mana.
  425. It seems that I can use my mana to adjust the ice shaft.
  426.  
  427. Rubia falls back with a scream.
  428. Rubia fell back with a scream.
  429.  
  430. I want to experiment with the magic spear more, but I put it away and approach Rubia to wake her up.
  431. I want to experiment with the magic spear more, but I put it away and approached Rubia to wake her up.
  432.  
  433. Her hands are trembling and she looks at me like I’m a monster.
  434. Her hands are trembling and she's looking at me like I’m a monster.
  435.  
  436. It’s understandable. Seeing such a cruel act, I understand why she is treating me this way.
  437. It’s understandable. Seeing such a cruel act, I can understand why she is treating me this way.
  438.  
  439. Being betrayed by the priest and her fear, she’s confused and can’t settle on anything.
  440. Because of her fear and the fact that the priest betrayed her, she’s confused and can’t settle on anything.
  441.  
  442. I don’t know if it’ll work, but I can try.
  443. I don’t know if it’ll work, but it's worth a shot.
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