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Earth Day

a guest Sep 25th, 2017 48 Never
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  1. "Good morning," the landlady drones as you walk past the front desk. "As a reminder... rent and utilities are due on the 5th."
  2.  
  3. "Oh! Um, good morning to you too, Ms. Dewbon," you reply, cautiously slinging your bag over your shoulder as you step back to give her space. This one still unnerves you, considering she's roughly as tall as a fucking house -- and probably capable of destroying one with a flick of her tail alone. "Don't worry, I'll make sure they're paid on time."
  4.  
  5. The massive wyvern nods, slowly brushing a stray lock of red hair out of her eyes -- er, eye -- as she wordlessly trundles past you to return to her desk.
  6.  
  7. "Mornin', sunshine!" the potted cactus on the landlady's desk chirps.
  8.  
  9. It looks like one of those singing plant toys, but it's got a hat and a wig on...? You take a few seconds to study it in detail, realizing it's not actually in a pot at all -- just sitting on an upturned one, using it as a stool. Stuck to the cactus's, uh, chest? barrel? is a name tag labeled "Hello! My name is AGUA" in permanent marker.
  10.  
  11. "Ready for another exciting day reporting the news?" she prompts. Well, so much for the "singing toy" theory. With everything else you've seen since moving in, you're not sure why you had a hard time believing there might be a race of sentient cactus people running around here.
  12.  
  13. "All I have on my docket for today is getting an interview with Professor Elligott," you reply. "'Exciting' might be putting it, uh -- 'excitably'."
  14.  
  15. "Aw, c'mon -- you're supposed to be a reporter, aren't you?" Agua chides, wagging one of her stubby limbs at you in mock admonishment. "You've got to have better wordplay than that."
  16.  
  17. "Hey, I just woke up. No need to be so... prickly."
  18.  
  19. "Eh. I mean, I've heard it a dozen times before," she shrugs, shaking her head like you're a slow child, "but points for trying anyway."
  20.  
  21. "Gee, thanks," you grumble.
  22.  
  23. "Well, Mr. Reporter -- nice chewing the fat and all, but if you know what's good for ya, you'll be on your way before Wosyet catches you acting too chummy with us."
  24.  
  25. "Wosyet?" You furrow your brow as you run through your mental rolodex. "I don't think I've met anyone named Wos--"
  26.  
  27.  
  28. "STOP RIGHT THERE, YOU FOUL WRETCH!"
  29.  
  30.  
  31. "Oh, wow, forty-six seconds of pleasant morning conversation," Agua yawns. "Looks like a new record."
  32.  
  33. "Her self-restraint is improving," Dewbon adds.
  34.  
  35. Turning around in surprise, you look up at the top of the lobby staircase at the source of the shout you just heard. Leaning over the railing is a tall, stocky woman with hide the color of potting soil and forearms as big around as your torso. She's adorned from head-to-toe in gold trim and accessories that seem to just adhere to her form -- if you didn't know better, you'd say her "clothing" (such as it is) was painted on.
  36.  
  37. Something about the way this one is built makes her seem like an outlier. You're not immediately sure why -- of all the monstergirls you've met thus far, there's nothing particularly exceptional about her figure at first glance. She's neither the largest nor heaviest-looking; heightwise, she's comparable with you -- perhaps a few inches taller, if that; and even her bust, while considerable, is far from the biggest you've seen. And that's factoring in both scaling AND relative size.
  38.  
  39. Still, she exudes an interesting aura, and you're nothing if not adventuresome.
  40.  
  41. "Sorry, was that addressed at me?" you ask, eyebrow raised.
  42.  
  43. "Yes, you," she spits, throwing her full weight into storming down the stairs. "I've heard the most disgusting rumors lately -- a randy, foul-minded, sex-crazed PLAGUE of a MALE is making his way through our village, pillaging our crops and ravishing our women!"
  44.  
  45. "Pillaging your -- wait, is there actual farmland around here?" You suppose there must be, since they've got to get their food from somewhere. Still -- might actually make for a half-decent story. "More importantly, what was that about 'ravishing women'? I don't want anyone getting any weird ideas about me."
  46.  
  47. "Typical man!" Wosyet bellows, seizing you by your forearm and lifting you off the ground as an example for all in the lobby to see -- or in other words, just the unimpressed Dewbon and the equally blasé Agua. "Thinking clouded by that reprehensible needle between his legs! His concerns naught but filthy and depraved -- like a single-minded bee seeking only to sting its target!"
  48.  
  49. "Uh, OW?" you gripe, twisting in her grip. "I think you might've just dislocated my shoulder."
  50.  
  51. "I was thinking about changing it up and getting takeout today," Agua comments to Dewbon.
  52.  
  53. "From where?"
  54.  
  55. "Hmm -- how about Kobold Joe's?"
  56.  
  57. "Oh. Okay," Dewbon murmurs. "What shall we have?"
  58.  
  59. "WORRY NOT, my sisters! I, Wosyet, your loyal and trusted ally -- have a plan to throw MYSELF on the proverbial mine, for the sake of YOUR chastity -- so that HE is unable to poison your loins with his noxious MAN-SEED!!"
  60.  
  61. "How about a salad? Seems like a summer taste. Strawberries are good this time of year," Agua suggests.
  62.  
  63. "Hey, sorry -- not to ruin your fun or anything, Wosyet, but whatever you're gonna do to me, you think you can be quick about it?" you interrupt. "I got work in like, half an hour?"
  64.  
  65. "SILENCE!" Looking around at the otherwise empty lobby, Wosyet decides that she's satisfied whatever vague and ill-defined set of conditions she went into this exchange with. Still holding you by your forearm, she begins half-dragging you up the stairs. "Now -- let us get this over with quickly!"
  66.  
  67.  
  68.  
  69. Huffing and puffing as she hovers over your crotch, Wosyet angrily spits on your shaft again before pressing her breasts together to go in for another round.
  70.  
  71. "You're a DEFIANT one, I'll give you that," she snarls, blushing as she begins moving her tits up and down. "I've yet to meet any man who can stand up to my special milking technique."
  72.  
  73. A titjob?
  74.  
  75. "To ensure the safety of my sisters-in-arms," she continues, "you WILL spill all of your seed -- or else you're not going free."
  76.  
  77. "Uh huh," you reply, holding your phone up to your ear. "Hi, is this Professor Elligott? Hi, good morning. Sorry, I got jumped by some kind of -- I think she's like a golem? I might be here a while. Do you mind if we move our appointment to, say, 2 o'clock?"
  78.  
  79. "Quit your yapping and spew! Spew your contemptible venom across my chest!" she barks, upping her pace. "Uuuuggghhh!! Why won't you just let loose?!"
  80.  
  81. "No, that's just her in the background now. Perfect -- thank you for being understanding. No no -- thank YOU, sir," you reply before hanging up. "Okay, whew. I'm good now. Sorry, what were you saying about your chest?"
  82.  
  83. "Ohhh, I see how this is," Wosyet pants as she climbs up onto her own bed with you. "Well, just for you -- I've not yet BEGUN to fight."
  84.  
  85. "Um, thank you, I guess?" you offer, reaching into your bag and pulling your camera out. As it is, she's doing a pretty good job, but hey, if she's an overachiever... "Oh, do you mind if I take a picture? Feels like a shame to squander the moment."
  86.  
  87. "A trophy, huh -- it's not merely enough for you to follow in the manner of men, but you must HUMILIATE me in the process?! Is THAT it? Is THAT how you treat a fellow warrior in combat?!" She's blushing furiously, eyebrows furrowed as she stops to peppers your tip with her golden lips, leaving trails of spit with each collision. "Fine! Take your trophy -- but know that it will lead to your doom!"
  88.  
  89. "Sweet, thanks," you grin, holding the camera up. "Smile for the camera?"
  90.  
  91. She pauses just long enough to give you a withering, red-faced glare, lips pursed and head tilted to one side as she attempts to catch her breath. It's actually a pretty good look for her, all things considered.
  92.  
  93. Click.
  94.  
  95. "Perfect. Well, don't mind me then -- I'll let you get back to it."
  96.  
  97. https://i.imgur.com/HwuNsk1.jpg
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