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Wincest - /b/553061060

a guest Jun 25th, 2014 361 Never
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  1. http://4archive.org/b/thread/553061060
  2.  
  3. I have already shared this story but most anons demanded a longer, more detailed and proofread version so here you go.
  4.  
  5. My wincest story 1.2
  6.  
  7. One anon offered proofreading but it does'nt seem necessary since I took my time writing this. I guess the mistakes won't be too bad.
  8.  
  9.  
  10. Let's see how long this will become in the end.
  11.  
  12. (About 18 posts, gotta watch out for bumplimit and maybe split into 2 threads. We'll see.)
  13.  
  14. >inb4 pics
  15.  
  16. There won't be any pics of her. I could look up girls with similar body types like the Tasha guy did but that's it.
  17.  
  18. Pic related by the way. It looks close to her when she was 15.
  19.  
  20.  
  21. For a better overview i will split this into several Chapters and like every story does, it starts with the
  22. Prologue - My Family and I
  23.  
  24. I used to live together with my Parents and my younger sister. Let us call her Judy since we did that in the last thread aswell.
  25. There never was anything special about us. Just a regular Family in a little city in Germany.
  26.  
  27. My mom worked as an elderly care nurse, my dad worked in an insurane agency.
  28. Pretty much everything about us was average.
  29.  
  30. And then there was Judy.
  31. She was a cute girl. Always has been. Light brown hair that, back in those days, almost covered all of her back.
  32. Deep green eyes and a cute little nose.
  33.  
  34.  
  35. A really fine looking girl. From a realistic viewpoint without my special bond to her probably a solid 8/10.
  36.  
  37. Those were my thoughts about her when she was 12 years old. I was 14 back then.
  38.  
  39. I basically started to feel attracted to her the day she started to develop female features.
  40. At this time her breasts started to grow what, in return, made me grow aswell.
  41.  
  42. I would now start to spend almost all my sparetime with her.
  43. We started to share the same friends and grew pretty close. Nobody suspected any intention there. In fact our Parents were damn proud about us getting along so well.
  44.  
  45. And really, our relationship grew as strong as a brother and sister relationship can grow over the next three years.
  46.  
  47. All of that in the somehow ridiculous hope that one day she might forget that we were siblings.
  48. She didn't.
  49.  
  50. In those 3 years I couldn't get any closer to my goal wich wasn't a puberty imagination anymore but turned into an obsession.
  51.  
  52. I wanted her.
  53.  
  54. Sure, I have seen her naked occasionally since we completely lost our shame infront of one another but I wanted more than to fap over these pictures while I was under the shower.
  55.  
  56.  
  57. It took me those 3 years to realize that I wouldn't achieve anything the way I was trying to.
  58. And somehow this made me mad.
  59.  
  60. We were perfect together. We just worked in any possible way and the only thing that kept us from being together was a sensless social convention.
  61.  
  62. I needed a plan and I came up with one.
  63.  
  64.  
  65. Chapter I - Operation desister
  66.  
  67. How can you get a person into breaking a taboo?
  68. How can you manage her into throwing away something she has considered moral standards for all her life wich is 15 years by now?
  69.  
  70. In my opinion you have two possibilities here.
  71.  
  72. The first would be to convince her that it was worth it. That the reward would make up to it. I tried that and I failed.
  73. So I was left with option two, remove the taboos and make it something perfectly fine to do.
  74.  
  75. So since in my thoughts the only thing keeping us from having a sexual relationship was the fact that we were siblings I just needed to change that.
  76.  
  77. Easy one.
  78.  
  79. I starded to search through the internet. I looked up any documents required for an adoption and the adoption certificates as well. I trained with Photoshop.
  80. I even ordered a customized stamp that I designed to look like the stamp of an imaginary Orphanage.
  81.  
  82. And then i begun. One after another I faked my sisters adoption. I even faked a medical report stating that our mother has gotten infertile after some complications while giving birth to me.
  83.  
  84. It took me several months for everything to be perfect but then the big day came.
  85.  
  86. I remember walking into my sisters room without knoking. She smiled but her smile froze when she saw my look of half shock half sadness.
  87. I had trained this expression pretty hard.
  88.  
  89. 'What's up Phil?'
  90.  
  91. She asked.
  92. I remained silent and just handed her the papers. Those papers that I had even aged to make it look realistic and still I feared she might think of this as a prank because I didn't know that I would have the guts to speak out the lie.
  93. She didn't.
  94.  
  95. While she was reading her eyes became bigger. They instantly filled up with tears.
  96.  
  97. 'I found this in Mom's drawer. I've been looking for money and then...'
  98.  
  99. I muttered. She began to cry.
  100. All of a sudden I felt really shitty for what I had just done but it was too late to simply turn around.
  101.  
  102. I spent the next two hours comforting her. I told her that this changed nothing, that I still loved her and we were still the same people.
  103. I even managed the masterpiece of this act. I convinced her not to talk about this. To no one.
  104. I told her that this would get me in trouble for searching through Mom's stuff. That we would wait for the right place and the right time and that we would confront them together as soon as the time is right.
  105.  
  106. Something inside her just broke. I clearly saw it.
  107.  
  108. But she thanked me for my support and spent the night in my bed. She had done this several times before when she was sad. This night we hold eachother really tight.
  109.  
  110. Over the oncoming weeks our bond grew even stronger. Literally not a single minute of a day passed without having Judy around me.
  111.  
  112. She was sad. In fact never before had I seen her this sad. My Parents thought that to be some kind o puberty depression and asked me to care of her.
  113.  
  114. I gladly did but it wasn't even necessary since she wanted to have me as close as possible anyways.
  115.  
  116. I was the one she trusted while she felt betrayed.
  117.  
  118. The irony.
  119.  
  120. And there was me. Doing something like this to a girl as cute and innocent as her.
  121.  
  122. She would cry on my shoulder, sleep in my bed, come to rest in my arms, talk to me, be silent with me, she shared her life with me.
  123.  
  124. And then I noticed it.
  125.  
  126. The way she looked at me now. The way she held my hands sometimes. This little girl, my sister, so full of sadness and confusion, developed feelings.
  127.  
  128. I stopped being her brother.
  129.  
  130. She was about to fall in love with me.
  131.  
  132. Then this evening came.
  133.  
  134. It wasn't special in any way. Just us playing some Vidyas together in my room.
  135.  
  136. She gave me a few deep looks from her side. Almost as if she was up to something but she didn't know what to do.
  137. I did.
  138.  
  139. I remember that I let her beat me. Then, in staged anger I threw my controller away.
  140.  
  141. 'Screw it anyways.'
  142.  
  143. I said.
  144.  
  145. Then I kissed her.
  146.  
  147. I simply leaned in and pressed my lips upon hers. This wasn't the first time we kisses each other on the mouth but the way I held her, the fact that I pressed myself against her and maybe the fact that I didn't stop made her realize this was different from a little peck.
  148.  
  149. The first few seconds she was paralized in shock. Then it happened.
  150.  
  151. She kissed me back.
  152.  
  153. Our tongues stayed in our own mouth and this first kiss was mainly ruled by adrenaline and fear.
  154.  
  155. But this is the kiss that I will remember till the day I die.
  156.  
  157. Chapter II - The Appartement
  158.  
  159.  
  160. The moment right after this kiss was kind of awkward. She gave me a look that was hard to interprete. I thought it to be a mix of curiosity, fear and actual enjoyment.
  161.  
  162. 'I have to think abouta that. Give me some time.'
  163.  
  164. Was all she said after a while of awkward silence. Then she left the room.
  165.  
  166. I could perfectly understand her mixed feelings because I felt similar things.
  167.  
  168. There was no other way to say it. I even tried to avoid the truth by telling me I was just interested because it was forbidden but that was a lie.
  169.  
  170. The fact is that I fell in love with her over the last years. Interest became obsession. Obsession became love. As simple as that.
  171.  
  172.  
  173. The Fact that the situation was strange didn't mean that we started to avoid each other. On the contrary we intensified every single minute we were together.
  174.  
  175. Our parents even started to call us their conjoned twins because they barely saw one of us alone.
  176.  
  177. When we were somewhere private we couldn't resist touching each other. Not making out in any way.
  178.  
  179. More like holding hands, exchanging neck massages, cuddling. Nothing we couldn't justify if necessary.
  180.  
  181. But everytime I held her tight against me I felt her heart beat. I felt her breath go harder. I felt me go harder aswell.
  182.  
  183. In these moments I cursed the fact that I had to build this relationship on a lie. Just because it wouldn't have been possible in any other way.
  184.  
  185. This awkwardness didn't hold very long. Maybe two up to three weeks had passed since our kiss. We sat on my bed, her head lying on my shoulders, my arm wrapped around her.
  186. Again I felt her heart beat stronger.
  187. She looked at me from the side. I looked back. We stared into each others eyes. I wanted to drown in those bright green ponds.
  188.  
  189. 'What do you feel Judy?'
  190.  
  191. I asked her.
  192.  
  193. She smiled. Such a cute smile. I didn't want this moment to stop. I atually still have it present as if it was happening right now.
  194.  
  195. 'Fear.'
  196.  
  197. She didn't say more and she didn't have to.
  198. I felt the same.
  199.  
  200. I nodded and then we kissed again.
  201.  
  202. Not a scared kiss like the last one but a passionate, deep kiss.
  203. As soon as my lips touched hers she opened her mouth slightly to make room for my tongue. I literally sunk into her, holding her as close as I could.
  204. I remember a sweet little moan of satisfaction coming from her.
  205.  
  206. Fun thing is I wasn't really horny back then. I probably could have gone for a bit more but there was no need to rush this. I just felt safe. Protected and protecting at the same time.
  207. I felt that I had arrived.
  208.  
  209.  
  210. And suddenly we were a couple.
  211. Of course nobody should know about this but we were.
  212.  
  213. The now following time was pretty dangerous. We were cuddling and kissing whenever we had the chance to but there was that constant risk of getting caught.
  214.  
  215. One time our dad almost walked in while we were passionately kissing. I almost wondered if he suggested something since he usually didn't knock on the door but this time.
  216.  
  217. It was then when she started to talk about sex pretty often. She told how all her friends claimed that they have had sex already and that she fears she'd be last.
  218. She wasn't really pushing the topic just constantly mentioning it.
  219.  
  220. But we had to solve our privacy problem before even thinking about taking that step. We needed a place where we could be alone.
  221.  
  222. I had a small job besides school. I didn't earn much and usually put it all aside for a licence and a car. But now I could invest it better.
  223.  
  224. I rented an appartement.
  225.  
  226. Nothing fancy, just some shabby room with a kitchen and a small bathroom but it was ours.
  227.  
  228. We put some cheap furniture into the room. A bed, two chairs, an improvised table, even a small TV. We used to hang out there everytime we could.
  229.  
  230. And all the time we were there we spent the hours making out like a pair of mid puberty teenagers. In fact we were a pair of mid puberty teenagers.
  231. Then it happened.
  232. It was about 1 1/2 months after I rented the appartement. The day we've been a couple for half a year.
  233. We wanted to celebrate this and with the little possibilities I had I cooked a really fancy dinner.
  234. I bought an expensive bottle of wine and waited for her nervous like a kid on christmas.
  235.  
  236. When she arrived I was stunned.
  237.  
  238. I told you that she was good looking already but what I saw when i opened this door made me drop my jaw.
  239.  
  240. She wore a red dress, a really tight thing. Velvet I suppose. It revealed most of her back wich was free now since she had recently cut her hair down to shoulder length.
  241.  
  242. Her legs were long and the skin looked smooth and soft. Her whole apperance was plain and simply stunning, still with that innocent smile upon her lips with this deep red lipstick on them.
  243. My pants tightened immediately.
  244.  
  245. We spent most of the dinner in silence. The candellight lit her face playfully. All we exchanged in this small room with the cheap furniture in it were looks.
  246. Looks that turned out to be one of the greatest conversations I have had in my entire life.
  247.  
  248. We just knew this was a special evening. We didn't want to touch this moment with meaingless words. It would just left a scratch on what was supposed to be perfect.
  249.  
  250. After the dessert was eaten I went to the bathroom. I tried to calm myself wich was pretty much useless for I returned only to find her lying on the bed.
  251.  
  252. This was the first time I saw that wild look of pure desire in her eyes.
  253.  
  254. It was happening. Right here, right now. And I just stood there, staring at her, what she replied by pulling the fine straps holding her dress over her shoulders.
  255.  
  256.  
  257. I slowly walked towards the bed. My thoughts were on a wild rollercoaster. You know that moments where you think you are an actor in some kind of surreal movie?
  258. This was what I felt, maybe due to the candlellight, maybe due to what I saw when i laid down besides her.
  259.  
  260. We sunk into a deep kiss, our tongues pushing forward in curious joy. I slowly pulled her dress down her breasts. She wasnt wearing a bra since she didn't need to. She had cute breasts.
  261. A good hand full, b cups probably. They were firm and soft, trembling in the raging rhythm of her heartbeat.
  262. When I touched them I felt like the biggest retard on earth.
  263.  
  264. She obviousily was my first girl and I had no clue what I was doing but she didn't seem to dislike me pinching her cute little nipples.
  265.  
  266. She pulled my shirt over my head and started to kiss my chest, licking the skin softly while she did so what aroused me even more if that was in any way possible.
  267.  
  268. Since she was as inexperienced as I was we took a long time to explore our bodies. To feel our warmth. I kissed her neck what she seemed to like.
  269. When I moved down to her breasts and gently put her nipples between my lips she moaned softly. I have to admit she was a bit more pushing than I was.
  270. She used to nibble my earlobe whenever I did something she liked. It drove me crazy. She guided my head where she wanted it.
  271.  
  272. This whole situation was kind of ironic. Her taking the lead in our first sexual activity after all I did to lead to this moment.
  273. At this very moment I regreted nothing of it. It was meant to happen. What we had there was strong. Most people spend their lifes without ever experiencing a connection as deep as ours.
  274.  
  275. Suddenly she reached down to pull her dress down her legs and throw it at the floor. I saw her flat little stomach. She was breathing hard when I kissed downwards.
  276. I felt her hand playing with my belt when my mouth reached the border of her Panties. Red. New. Bought for this very evening.
  277.  
  278. I felt her fingers wandering into my pants when she finally opened my belt. Finding their way forward. Insecure but curious.
  279. When she reached my penis it was pulsing so hard I feared I would come right now while her small hands wrapped around the shaft.
  280.  
  281. I hastily pulled my pants down. She started to stroke slowly, building up pressure while she looked deep into my eyes. She was trying to figure out if I liked what she did. I loved it.
  282. Almost automatically my hands wandered up her inner thighs. She had removed her panties without me even noticing it. I felt her hot skin, her legs trembling, awaiting my touch.
  283.  
  284. She shivered when my hand reached her outer labia. Her grip around my Penis tightened.
  285.  
  286. She was wet. Not a bit moist but wet. She was awaiting me.
  287.  
  288. It turned out that she had prepared this evening even more than I did. She had trained using a dildo to be ready for me.
  289.  
  290. My finger glid into her without any resistane. She was so tight that I wondered if I would fit in her. But she was also warm and soft. Her musles throbbed around my finger as if they tried to suck it in.
  291.  
  292. I had made several plans for this special occasion. I wanted to try all the things I have seen in so many movies. I wanted to taste her vagina. I wanted to try various positions.
  293. Right now at that moment none of that matters.
  294. All I could think about was entering her warm lap with my penis. I wanted to unite with her and I know she felt the same since she directed her hands infront of her vagina and wrapped my penis into a condom ready to enter me inside her.
  295.  
  296. At first there was this slight resistance. Her muslcles pushing against my glans but then she opened. I slid into her. She immediately tightened, putting my penis into a very hard grip.
  297. She breathed in sharply when I entered her, her eyeballs turning behind wich was damn sexy.
  298. We slowly started to move our hips. She pressed her body against mine and kissed me while I moved back and forth.
  299.  
  300. I didn't last long.
  301.  
  302. A few minutes maybe. But when I realized i couldnt hold it anymore I also realized her moans, that sounded insecure and shy at first, became louder. Demanding.
  303.  
  304. I pushed deep into her. She tried to silence her scream of pleasure by biting my neck. I myself exploded into the condom. I felt her fingernails scratching over my bak but the soft pain excited me even more.
  305.  
  306. I don't know if she staged her orgasm. But she seemed releaved and satisied still lying in my arms. We held each other quiet a while, breathing deep and kissing.
  307.  
  308. It just had happened. We have had sex. We became one for the past few minutes.
  309.  
  310. We both stopped to think about what we just did. But that just made us horny again.
  311.  
  312. We called our parents to tell them we would spend the night at a friends place while we told that friend we were visiting an illegal party and he should cover us.
  313.  
  314. No one would suspect anything and we had all night in front of us.
  315.  
  316. Chapter III - Chaos
  317. We mainly spent that night having sex. Not movie sex, not porn sex. Sweaty sex makig funny noises and laughing about them afterwards. The interruptions we had to take due to biological reasond we spent cuddling naked, kissing and taking showers together.
  318.  
  319. We experimented a lot, we learned a lot about each other. I learned how she tasted (Great btw.), I learned how she became ticklish after she had cum and I damn sure used that against her.
  320. I learned how a blowjob felt (Great aswell) and by the end of that night I had lost my fear. I knew her body now, I knew her in a totally different way now. She was an open book to me as much as I was to her.
  321.  
  322. This is basically how we would spend the following weeks. We were having sex in so many places and so many ways I totally lost count. We even did it at home a few times with our parents only a few doors away from us.
  323. It didn't matter. Everytime we saw each other we became horny.
  324.  
  325. Everything went fine. We managed to hide it pretty good using the appartement when we needed to. Nobody ever suspected anything. Although we feared it was absolutely obvious.
  326.  
  327. All was good.
  328.  
  329. Until the day she turned 16. What a joyul day that was.
  330.  
  331. She insisted on not having a big party. We wanted to have dinner as a family and take our private party to the appartement later on.
  332. But she had planned something. Something very special for this very special day.
  333.  
  334. She didn't tell me about it. Guess she wanted to surprise me too.
  335.  
  336. There we were. In the middle of a great family dinner. The modd was great. We shared some laughs, some stories from the past when suddenly she raised her voice.
  337.  
  338. She sounded very ceremonial.
  339.  
  340. 'Mom. Dad.'
  341.  
  342. She said.
  343.  
  344. 'I want to thank you for everything you did for me. You were there for me when I needed you throughout all these years. I just wanted to tell you that I know it. I know I am adopted. I am not mad. I still love you, you still are my parents.'
  345.  
  346. Silence.
  347.  
  348. Silence.
  349.  
  350. Terror.
  351.  
  352. Mom was obviously confused. Dad seemed to think of this as some kind of joke. He started to laugh.
  353.  
  354. 'What the hell are you talking about?'
  355.  
  356. I wanted to die on the spot.
  357.  
  358. She thought he was just denying it. She smiled.
  359.  
  360. 'You don't have to hide it. Phil showed me the papers.'
  361.  
  362. Suddenly their looks rushed to me. Sitting there on my chair. My fork still lifted halfways to my open mouth. A look of panic on my face.
  363.  
  364. 'What papers? Why would you make up such a thing Phil?'
  365.  
  366. My Mom asked still confused.
  367.  
  368. This was the moment when Judy realized it. Realized I had lied to her. I, the person she probably loved most, had betrayed her.
  369.  
  370. I saw something dying insider her.
  371.  
  372. Her break down was followed by my father yelling, still nor having a clue what was going on when she told him.
  373. Under tears and sobbing she told him what we had done. Told him she thought it wasn't wrong due to the papers I showed her.
  374.  
  375. I wonder untill today why he stayed that calm during her words. It was the shok I guess. Mom's eyes filled up with tears. She obviously couldn't believe what she heard about her 'babyboy'.
  376.  
  377. It was when my sister ended, when she returned to simply sobbing again, that my dad snapped. I don't think I had moved a muscle yet.
  378.  
  379. He reached across the table, threatening to kill me. I still didn't move. It took my Mom to stop him from doing whatever he would do in his vicious rage.
  380.  
  381. I started to cry myself. My eyes pinned to my sister. Seeing how much I had hurt her killed me. I didn't care for my father being mad. Or my mother crying.
  382. I didn't care for any of the shit going on here but for her. The fact that I had lost her.
  383.  
  384. The girl I loved.
  385.  
  386. It felt like a fist squeezing my chest. My Dad still threatened to beat the crap out of me. Called me a sick pervert, a disgrace while yelling at my mom to let go of him so he can give me what I deserved.
  387.  
  388. It didn't matter.
  389.  
  390. What mattered was that she couldn't even look at me.
  391.  
  392. I don't remember anything of that evenng enough to recap it. But it was literally just that. My Dad Yelling, my Mom crying, Judy trying to avoid my very presene until he kicked me out of the house.
  393.  
  394. 'If I ever see you around here again you will regret it.'
  395.  
  396. This is how my Dad said goodbye.
  397.  
  398. Luckily I had the Appartement.
  399.  
  400. I can't remember going there but I still ended up lying on the bed that still smelled like the greatest night of my life. A happy night with her by my side.
  401.  
  402. I couldn't stop crying. There was no putting it gently. I screwed it up. I hurt her wich was what I'd never forgive myself.
  403.  
  404. Neither could I fall asleep.
  405.  
  406. I don't know how much time passed. Two hours maybe until someone knocked at the door.
  407.  
  408. I got up expecting my Dad had changed his mind and came to beat me up anyways. I still opened the door.
  409.  
  410. It wasn't him. It was her.
  411.  
  412. Her makeup was smeared all over her face. Her beautiful Face with those green eyes that right now were made out of sadness. Of pain. Of betrayal. I don't kno what was worse.
  413.  
  414. 'Why?'
  415.  
  416. Only this word, this question and finally I was being honest with her. Not because it would help me but because she deserved it.
  417.  
  418. 'Because I wanted to have sex with you.'
  419.  
  420. She hit me really hard.
  421. My head was thrown to the side by her slap.
  422.  
  423. Then another one.
  424.  
  425. Then another one.
  426.  
  427. Then I kissed her.
  428.  
  429. She tried to push me back, she scratched my chest but I held her tight. I wouldn't let her go until she heard what I had to say.
  430.  
  431. 'Why are you mad?'
  432.  
  433. I asked her.
  434.  
  435. 'I know you feel the same way. But you hold yourself back because we shouldn't be feeling this. This is why I did it. To allow us to feel. And you did, what changed?'
  436.  
  437. The funny thing about this scene is that whenever I try to remember the details I imagine it was raining buckets. But I am pretty sure it was dry and hot out there.
  438. Hollywood playing with my mind I guess.
  439.  
  440. She looked at me stunned. This short moment of her being unable to reply was all it took. I pulled her in and kissed her again.
  441.  
  442. Never did I feel so much desire.
  443.  
  444. She tried to resist again but eventually gave in. I threw her on the bed and we litterally tore our clothes down.
  445.  
  446. She grabbed my cock pretty hard.
  447.  
  448. 'If you ever lie to me again I'll bite it off.'
  449.  
  450. She said. I can't put in words how much her anger turned me on.
  451.  
  452. This was the wildest sex I've ever had.
  453.  
  454. I was still standing in front of the bed. Her legs resting on my shoulders. I remember her screaming things like 'Don't fuck me like your secret girlfriend, fuck me like your sister.' while I thrusted deep into her.
  455.  
  456. I did. It was rough. She scratched my back bloddy.
  457.  
  458. Didn't matter. She was here with me. She was back. We were together.
  459.  
  460. She came several times hard and loud always pulling my hair when she did before I came aswell.
  461.  
  462. With no condom to stop my semen from filling her up.
  463.  
  464. Silence.
  465.  
  466. Silence.
  467.  
  468. Terror.
  469.  
  470. 'I'm on the pill dumbass.'
  471.  
  472. Holy shit.
  473.  
  474. Chapter IV - Fall and rise again
  475.  
  476.  
  477. She didn't leave the next morning. She wanted to stay with me and I wouldn't stop her from doing so.
  478. But I felt she changed. Something wild got the best of her.
  479.  
  480. She had all this 'We against the rest of the world' Fantasy. She thought the upcoming weeks to be romantic but they were not. They almost broke us.
  481.  
  482. I was graduating school back then what turned out to be really hard since word of what had happened made the round. I still don't have a clue how it happened.
  483.  
  484. Many of our old friends turned their backs on us in disgust. Some didn't. They accepted our feelings and were loyal when we needed them most.
  485.  
  486. One good friend of mine even told me that he always thought of us being the perfect couple.
  487.  
  488. Since she was 16 now she took a small cashier job while still going to school too and we soon moved into a better place. We made it quite comnfortable.
  489.  
  490. Still her sudden change scared me. She wasnt the girl she was supposed to be anymore. I had forced her to grow up.
  491.  
  492. I forced her to live with the looks that other people examined her with. To live with the comments and the laughter. With the blame and almost noone standing at her side.
  493.  
  494. I would leave school soon. She wouldn't and she knew that. She played the tough girl but I saw her crying when she thought noone noticed often enough.
  495.  
  496. Then my Dad visited us. I didn't know what to expect when I opened the door. I looked him straight into the eyes. I didn't want to show fear or insecurity.
  497.  
  498. I just offered him a coffe wich, to my surprise, he accepted.
  499.  
  500. The balance of the talk was almost funny.
  501.  
  502. My Dad, looking like a wreck, trying to convince his daughter to come home while also trying not to kill his son.
  503. He smelled of beer.
  504.  
  505. But still when she refused to leave me he didn't yell. He just went silent staring into his cup. The man I grew up with, the man I idolized just resigned.
  506.  
  507. This was the first time I realized that now my family was going through the loss that I had feared so much at her birthday. They lost their children.
  508.  
  509. A few days after that the letter arrived.
  510.  
  511. My Dad had sued me.
  512.  
  513. I could not believe what I was reading. I was invited to court to testify. They wanted to know everything. Everything that led to our relationship and what this relationship looked like.
  514.  
  515. Never was I that embarassed in all my life.
  516.  
  517. But it turned out that besides faking some documents I didn't violate the law. We commited several acts of incest but since we protected and therefore minimized the risk of procreating this was a minor case wich was put down by court.
  518.  
  519. We were actually and officially allowed to go on.
  520.  
  521. I couldn't believe this.
  522.  
  523. There was that douchebag from youthcare coming once a week since she wasn't off age though. He would constantly try to convince her that this was bad and she should come home.
  524. But she would constantly tell him she was home already and that this was great.
  525.  
  526. And of course the shitstorm intensified. Soon everybody knew us. The strange couple. Staring at us when we went to the supermarket, into a bar or just taking a walk.
  527. When we left our flat hands were raised to whisper behind them.
  528.  
  529. We got severlal phone calls, mainly threats and insults. One night three masked guys threw rocks at our window and yelled at us until the police arived.
  530. I was getting more and more depressed. Not because of me but because I saw her suffering without there being anything I could do against it.
  531.  
  532. We still grew closer every day. We even searched for countries that would allow us to get married. We found none but we wanted the adventure.
  533.  
  534. And then I noticed it.
  535.  
  536. That was it. The adventure. The thrill. That was what was holding us together. What was keeping us to go on. The fact that it was special, we were special. Was this right?
  537. Making her go through so much just for the kick we got?
  538. She was sad most of the times even if she hid it. She lost her family. She lost friends. She basically lost everything.
  539. She got harrased and insulted. How long til she would snap? And there I was, doubting the very motives of our feelings and our relationship.
  540. Would we go through this together if we weren't brother and sister? If we were regular people?
  541. I felt I had to end it beore it damaged her even more. I had to protect her at any cost. Make sure she can be happy someday in the future. But how to do that?
  542.  
  543. How to end something, that someone gave up anything to achieve?
  544.  
  545. I am glad that when these thoughts overwhelmed me someone opened my eyes. Someone got me back on my track. I just didn't expect it to be my mother.
  546.  
  547. One day she sent a text. She wanted to meet me. I didn't tell Judy I just left to the Cafe.
  548.  
  549. She looked awull. She lost an unhealthy amount of pounds and seemed to have aged a decade.
  550.  
  551. I felt like a giant jerk when I saw her. Even more when she smiled at me.
  552.  
  553. 'How are you?'
  554.  
  555. She asked.
  556.  
  557. 'I... We are fine.'
  558.  
  559. I replied while avoiding her eyes. I sat down and tried to find the guts to apologize. To explain. Or to talk in any way.
  560. I couldn't find them.
  561.  
  562. We ate our breakfast in silence. Both of us deeply sunk into our own thoughts until she asked the question. That one question I needed back then.
  563.  
  564. 'Do you love her?'
  565.  
  566. It was the way she talked. Her voice breaking mid sentence, the sadness in it, that made sure this wasn't some question out of curiosity or the need to say something.
  567. It mattered for her.
  568.  
  569. Did I love her?
  570. Sure, I always loved my sister. Like a brother loves his sister.
  571. Then it started to became more. I remembered these times where it began. When I would constantly think about her, when I would feel sad when she wasn't near me and nervous when she was.
  572.  
  573. Did I love this girl from bak then?
  574. Did I love her enough to take her hand and go through this with her?
  575.  
  576. Yes. Plain and simple I did.
  577.  
  578. We didn't need to be special in any ways. Maybe the best thing we could do was to stop being special.
  579. We needed to stop being brother and sister not because of some fake documents but because we needed to make space for something bigger.
  580.  
  581. I nodded. It took me a while but I meant it when I did.
  582.  
  583. 'Then I'll accept it.'
  584.  
  585. This hit me like a fist.
  586. My eyes swelled up and I started to sob only to cry like a little bitch when she hugged me.
  587.  
  588. All that pressure. The pressure from protecting Judy while suffering myself, the pressure from our losses and from the outside fell off of me here in the arms of my mother. Some things never change, do they?
  589.  
  590. We talked a lot. It turned out that Dad and her were getting divorced. They would constantly argue over us with my Mom just accepting our choice, loving us and my Dad being unable to do so.
  591. He didn't live with her anymore.
  592.  
  593. Ater our talk I went straight home. I hugged Judy from behind while she was getting ready for work.
  594. I kissed her and then, realizing I said the l word for the very first time, I told her I loved her.
  595.  
  596. I told her I loved the girl cheering while beating me at vidyas. That shy girl with the confused look after our first kiss. The cute girl with those seductive eyes, with the tender skin and a body that drove me crazy.
  597. I told her I loved how warm she was, I loved her giggles, I loved her tears, I loved her flaws together with everything that made her this wonderful girl that still was insider her just she was too scared to show it.
  598.  
  599. We kissed again.
  600.  
  601. Whatever we had back then, it went indestructible. We just knew that no force, how strong it may push, could tear us appart again and up to this day we were right.
  602. Epilogue - My Resumé
  603.  
  604. It is 04:00 AM while I'm writing this.
  605. I am 25 years old. She just turned 23. Seven years have gone since her birthday and the events following it.
  606.  
  607. Those years were not always easy. We had to manage several things but the harrassement would stop eventualy after we moved back in with our mother.
  608. We made it to this point and we will make it further.
  609.  
  610. I just looked after her in the bedroom. Sleeping. She looks like a young godess to me, she developed pretty awesome.
  611. And right there at her side was our son, peacefully sleaping.
  612.  
  613. We adopted him through a private adoption in Finland when he was a year old. The adoption process wasn't strictly legal but the papers we got are official and up to now no german authority tried to deny them.
  614. He is 3 years old now, we plan to adopt a daughter this winter.
  615.  
  616. Our income increased to a way better point and our mom gave us the house at our 5th aniversary. She still lives with us but I guess we have the base we need to let our family grow.
  617.  
  618. I have never seen my Dad again since back then.
  619.  
  620. Now I remember something he used to say to me when I was searching any of my stuff desperately.
  621.  
  622. 'If you're looking for something look were you'd expect it last. You'll find it.'
  623.  
  624. I did Dad just when it came to it you were not ready to accept it.
  625.  
  626. I'll end here.
  627. Same thing, if there are any questions around feel free to ask. Hope some of you enjoyed this for the first or second time.
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