Eris-istible [Finished]

Jul 7th, 2014
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  1. “I sure hope you wake up soon.”
  2. Brian awoke and nearly jumped out of his bed at the sound of the voice. It sounded it whoever said it was right next to him. He looked around for a second, to see no one there. There was nowhere to hide in the room and no way someone could have run out and closed the door behind them without him having heard it. He turned to his clock, 9:42 AM. Glancing around again briefly, as if someone would pop out of the shadows behind his TV, Brian went to his door.
  3. “You’re going the wrong way.”
  4. Brian froze in place at the sound of the voice. It was just as clear as it had been when it woke him up. He turned slowly to find himself still the sole occupant of the room. His eyes scanned the room to see if he had missed something. The TV was off, so was his computer, his phone couldn’t output sound that well on speaker-phone…Not that any of those would have been on without him knowing.
  5. “I know what you’re thinking, but I assure you, you’re not losing your mind.”
  6. Okay, no. That was it. Brian yanked open his bedroom door and slammed it behind him.
  7. “Well, I must say that was rude and uncalled for.” Said the voice, muffled slightly by the door and sounding a tad offended.
  8. Brian stalked into the living room to see if it was his roommate and one of his jerkass friends screwing with him. He stopped dead in his tracks upon seeing the living room, all the furniture was suspended from the ceiling. He rubbed his eyes and looked again, he looked away and looked back, but it was still all there as if it had any right to be on the fucking ceiling.
  9. Two thoughts came to Brian’s mind. Either this is a dream, or he went absolutely mad in his sleep. It was too real to be a dream from what he could remember of his dreams, so that’s out. But he was pretty sure insanity didn’t work this way, so that option was out too. The door to his bedroom slowly creaked open, in typical horror movie fashion despite the fact that it had never creaked before. Brian simply face palmed, already sick of this bullshit. He went to the kitchen, grabbed a glass and held it under the tap as he turned it on. Instead of filling up his glass, the stream of water did a U-turn and started pooling on the ceiling. For a moment he held the glass upside down to fill it up before realizing that was a fucking stupid idea. Brian heard chuckling coming from his room at his expense. Normally, Brian would be the one laughing at someone else’s expense over little jokes and pranks, but this was different. Everything since he woke up this morning was impossible and incredibly frustrating, though he silently admitted to himself he’d find it amusing if he had been watching someone else deal with it, rather than himself.
  10. But this, this was a ludicrous impossibility. Everything that had been happening since Brian had woke up. He stormed back to his room and threw the door open hard enough to damage the wall where the handle hit only to be stopped in his tracks yet again. Sitting in his computer chair with its back to him was a tall, almost serpentine creature that looks like someone had taken random parts from random animals and sewn them together. It swiveled the chair around slowly to face Brian.
  11. “So, we meet at last” it stated, almost dramatically. Brian would have rolled his eyes at the dated cliché if he wasn’t stunned by the presence of…Of…What the fuck would you even call this thing? “Oh quit acting so surprised, with everything you’ve been through this morning, you can’t honestly be shocked by my appearance,” it teased, before continuing “Didn’t your mother teach you staring was rude?” It vanished from the chair in the blink of an eye and reappeared on Brian’s shoulder. “I should introduce myself, my name is Discord,” it started. Brian reached to grab it, but caught only air; the creature had teleported again. His TV flicked on to reveal Discord superimposed over a commercial, he tried talking, but Brian heard nothing. Discord realized this and stopped for a moment before the volume indicator appeared on the screen; Discord looked at the number and flicked it a few times, raising the volume. He put a finger in his ear and held up his hand to his other ear imitating someone on a cell phone. “Can you hear me now?” He smirked before continuing, “I’ll cut to the chase, I’m looking for a partner in crime.”
  12. Brian grabbed the remote and hit the power button, when nothing happened he hit it several more times before giving up and pulling the power cord from the wall, only to find the TV remained on. “Well, that’s rude. You won’t even let your humble guest get a word in edgewise. I must say, you are not a very good host.” His image flickered and disappeared from the screen, leaving the TV on, though Brian could still hear His voice. “I must say, the reaction of humans to the ‘impossible’ is quite entertaining, wouldn’t you say?” He chuckled as a case for one of Brian’s games floated up and hovered in front of him with Discord on it. He was relaxing in a beach chair, sipping a drink from a glass with a tiny umbrella in it while in the middle of the warzone displayed on the cover. “This world could use a little chaos, though not the brand of chaos you humans are accustomed to. I don’t particularly find that entertaining, at least not on the level you display” he explained, motioning at his surroundings of the game cover, before he vanished from the image and the case fell to the ground.
  13. “However…” The voice came from behind Brian this time; he turned to see Discord simply standing in his doorway, in the flesh. “I can bring the right touch of chaos to this world, just to have a little fun. I’d like your help to do it.” A spotlight was on Brian. A literal spotlight, it appeared when he wasn’t looking and was now floating on the other side of his room, shining on him.
  14. Brian considered the offer for a moment. “Why the hell would you need my help? You seem to have things under control.”
  15. “I never said I needed help.” Discord stated, a personal scheduling book appeared in one of his hands and he pretended to read through it, “Are you really going to pass up the chance to pull some harmless pranks with an all-powerful being from a galaxy far, far away?” Brian rolled his eyes again at the reference, but Discord did have a point; magical, mythical creatures don’t tend to appear in people’s bedrooms too often. As far as he knew, this was the first time it had ever happened. “I could even give you powers, like mine.” Discord persuaded.
  16. That’s it, Discord had Brian and he knew it. “Alright, what do I need to do?”
  17. Discord smirked; it almost unsettled Brian, as if he were planning something else. “Well, you haven’t introduced yourself to me yet. Why don’t you give me your name?”
  18. Brian hesitated, regarding Discord for a moment, “Brian. My name is…” He trailed off, suddenly unable to remember his name. How could he have forgotten his own name? “Uhh…M-my name is…” He thought hard, but couldn’t recall his name.
  19. Discord smiled knowingly, “Well, how about I give you a new name!” before he could be interrupted, Discord continued “I’ve got just the right one in mind! Eris.”
  20. Eris.
  21. He had thought on it for a second, Eris somehow sounded right, natural. As if it had always been his name. “Alright, I don’t feel any different; how do I use these powers?”
  22. Discord giggled “Well I have to give them to you first.” The air itself felt like it was charged; Discord snapped his fingers and in an instant Eris felt a torrent of magical energy flowing into him. He clenched his eyes shut and fell to his hands and knees, the power was too much for him to handle. Soon he felt an alien sensation surging through his body, he felt an uncomfortable and awkward tugging and pulling feeling throughout his torso as it lengthened and became serpentine, while feeling his shirt get tighter with each second as coarse fur grew in over his body and upper arms. Eris opened his eyes only to see one of his arms had already changed to that of a bird, an eagle or hawk, similar to Discord. His other arm grew yellow fur, he saw his fingers becoming slightly shorter ending in protractible claws; a lion’s paw.
  23. Eris heard a loud ripping sound as a thick, scaled tail formed and ripped through his boxers with little effort. The energy coursing through him ebbed for no more than ten seconds, but to Eris it felt like an eternity before resurging. Though he couldn’t see it, he felt his neck lengthening in the same serpentine way his body had while growing grey fur covering his neck and head. As a horn and set of antlers sprouted and grew on top of his head, he groaned uncomfortable only to find his voice sounding feminine. She didn’t even notice her gender change over all of the other overwhelming changes. Cutting her groan off by raising her lion paw to cover her mouth, she felt her jaw growing outwards forming a small muzzle. Eris tried standing up but found her legs were still changing, one giving way to tan fur ending in a cloven hoof, the other skin receding to the advancement of green scales. Though the changes had stopped, she still felt the energy throughout her body, it felt natural now.
  24. Stunned by what she had just experienced, Eris looked over her body, getting a better view of most of it than she would have as a human due to her neck. She lifted one leg off the ground to look at it, then the other without putting the first one down. The moment she realized she was floating she dropped to the floor with a thud, which seemed to be enough to knock her out of her daze over her transformed body. Remembering the visitor in her apartment, she turned her gaze to Discord and scowled at him.
  25. “Oh don’t give me that, you have more power now than any human could ever hope to have, be happy.” Discord seemed to paused for a minute, looking over Eris’ new body. “Ah! It seems I forgot something!” He snapped his fingers and Eris felt a pushing feeling coming from her back as a pair of mismatched wings formed.
  26. Eris stood up, still scowling at Discord. Steam was literally coming out of her ears, once Discord started giggling she realized it was her own doing and stopped it. “Turn me back.” She hissed at him.
  27. “Sorry, no can do. That was a one way ticket.” He chortled while a ticket appeared in one hand and a hole puncher appeared in the other. He punched a hole in the ticket and handed it to her. “You didn’t really think power would come without a cost, did you?” He chuckled “Not to imply your new form is bad, I’d say it’s an upgrade.”
  28. Eris simply snorted at his remarks and batted the hand away that held the ticket out to her. Discord punched a few more holes into it before handing it back to her. He made a smiley face out of the holes. “Come on, turn that frown upside down,” he said as his face spun in place to be upside down. “I didn’t come all this way and turn you into an all-powerful being so you could give me the stink eye all day. I do believe it’s time we had some fun.”
  29. Before she could object, Discord clapped his hands once and they both appeared outside somewhere, in the sky. Eris floated for a few seconds and then she started to fall before managing to flap her wings. It took all her effort to keep from falling. Discord chuckled “You know you can float without using your wings, right?” A turtle neck shirt and a pair of spectacles appeared on Discord and a corncob pipe appeared in his mouth, while a schoolgirl uniform appeared on Eris, obviously his doing. “I’m your teacher here; I don’t expect you to know all your powers yet.” He chuckled “Though I did expect you to know how to at least float, you’ve already done it.”
  30. Eris still struggled to keep in the air, beating her wings as hard as she could. “Come on, float!” Discord said, while floating around her in circles.
  31. “I can’t!” she gasped, she dropped a couple feet lower when she replied.
  32. Discord stopped and stated more firmly “Float.” Eris ignored him and continued to flap her wings. Discord sighed and snapped his fingers. Eris couldn’t flap her wings anymore, they were gone. She screamed, curled up into a ball and covered her face. After a few seconds she peaked through one of her hands to find herself floating next to Discord still. Realizing it took absolutely no effort to float, she winglessly flew around Discord, made a figure eight in the air and returned to him. She smiled slightly, but hid her joy when she noticed Discord was grinning at her.
  33. “You DO enjoy it!” he teased. She simply crossed her arms and stared at him. “You know, I’ve got a friend who can do that better than you,” he said amusedly. Discord grabbed her hand and pulled her closer, an elevator appeared around them, there was a panel with two buttons on it; one labeled “Ground” and the other labeled “Chaos.” Eris pulled her hand away from Discords. “Well, press a button!” he said, motioning towards the panel. She didn’t see the point of this, but she decided to press one anyways to humor him. The only reason she was stuck in this body now was because she agreed to have some fun, she might as well try to enjoy it. Eris hit the chaos button.
  34. The elevator crashed into the road far below. It exploded into bits, though the expected debris of metal, electronic components and plastic was nowhere to be seen; instead flowers, chocolate and balloons flew every which way, with Discord and Eris standing right in the middle, completely unharmed. Traffic came to a halt in every direction, pedestrians stopped and stared and people inside nearby stores came out to see what the noise was. There was a fair sized crowd of people watching them in silence, most too nervous to make any move. If Eris had to make a guess, she would have said there was about a hundred people total. She noticed a number of people simply sneaking away from the scene, realizing most sane people wouldn't want to be anywhere near two freaky monsters like herself and Discord. She would have done the same thing if she were still human. Discord noticed them too; they vanished from the distance only to reappear right in front of them.
  35. "Now where were you sneaking off to?" Discord giggled. He grabbed one of the escapee's under the arms and lifted the short, chubby man into the air. "Hmm, what shall we do with you?" Snapping out of his daze, the man started struggling against Discord, who just let go of him instead; the man simply floated where he was. "Come on Eris, you're not really going to let me have all the fun, are you?" Discord prodded. He snapped his fingers and a large target appeared behind the floating man, who was still unable to move from his spot; he was trying to swim away. In front of Eris appeared a small booth to keep her from getting closer as if it was a carnival game.
  36. Eris decided she might as well have fun with this while it lasted. An idea came to mind and she snapped her fingers like Discord had been doing. Just as she had imagined, a baseball jersey and hat appeared on her and a glove over her lion-paw hand. She snickered at what she must have looked like, but Discord seemed to be enjoying where she was taking it. She charged up some magic into a ball, drew back and pitched it at the floating man who was now covering his eyes and cowering. The ball of magic energy whizzed past the man, who stopped cowering once it went past, just as Eris had intended. It curved back, circled around Discord a couple times before slamming into the man's back. The magic ball burst into a purple slime, covering the man's back and flying in all directions, covering most of the nearby spectators. An umbrella appeared in front of Discord to prevent him from getting splashed by the slime, as he laughed at the spectacle. Eris giggled until she noticed Discord shielded himself, she made herself appear beside him with a clump of the goop in her hands, Discord stopped his giggling realizing her intentions. She slammed the slime onto him before he could bring the umbrella up to block it, getting covered from head to toe. The floating man fell to the ground and ran off as Eris fell backwards laughing at the mess she had made of Discord, while gently floating away.
  37. "Hmph! Two can play at that game!" Discord snorted, then conjured up a snowball and threw it at Eris, pelting her in the face with it, bringing her giggling to an abrupt end. She realized she might be able to get the humans to help her assault on Discord. Eris had landed and poked one at random, instantly the person's body seemed to discolour, but she grabbed some slime and started hurling it at Discord. It seems he had the same idea as he landed and got one of the humans to fight for him too, except he was changing the human into something. The human's fingers began to shrink into the hands, which themselves became much more blunt and thick, the human's shoes ripped and tore as their feet changed similarly. A green fur sprouted along the human's body, the rip of clothing punctuating the air. A thick appendage sprung from the back of his pants, turning into a tail and a muzzle began forming on his face as his legs and arms readjusted for a quadruped. A horn sprouted and grew on the head of the man turned pony. Discord had actually changed the entire body of the man, who still seemed hold his intelligence rather than becoming a dumb animal.
  38. Having observed what he did, Eris did the same to her human. And another. And a few more. And several more as Discord did the same. Soon each had an army of ponies hurling balls of slime or snow at each other, as pegasi swooped in and about doing "bombings," none of them in their right minds being controlled by either Eris or Discord who by this point were both laughing at each other's antics from their own little forts. Eris had chosen a Bank and lifted the entire building and the plot of land it was on into the air, Discord did the same with a small plaza. Several hours had passed, by which point, Eris had fully embraced the chaos Discord had sought to teach her. Discord appeared beside her with a floating alarm clock ringing next to him.
  39. "Well it's been fun, but my vacation is over. Unfortunately I must put everything back as I found it," Discord sighed, "That includes you. If I don't, Celestia would turn me into a statue." he explained, before grunting "Again."
  40. Eris jumped up in protest "No! You can't take this all away from me now, my life will never be the same after this!" Discord snapped his fingers, time seemed to rewind around them, the little play war undoing itself, the ponies turning back into the humans they were and finally Eris and Discord appearing back in her house. To the point just after she had been transformed. She crossed her arms and scowled at him.
  41. "Well..." Discord scratched his chin, before continuing, "I could always take you back with me..." He trailed off the line of thought.
  42. Her face lit up with joy. "Yes!" Eris shouted, "Take me back to where ever it is you come from!"
  43. Discord smirked and snapped his fingers once more, leaving no trace of himself or Eris.
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