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Dumb Time-Wasting Puzzle

Bigwood Mar 6th, 2013 44 Never
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  1. [18:21:32] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Last we left Steve and Lorelei (and Biff)...Biff died.  To Lorelei's hand.  Unfortunately Steve's too oblivious to realize.  Anyway, you guys ahve the key Biff worked SO HARD to get and thus have access to everywhere on this floor. Time to find the key to the door to the stairs.  1,1or not, depending.
  2. [18:22:48] <Lorelei> Is it?  No, it's time to bawl into Steve's manly arms like a good little girl.
  3. [18:24:14] <Steve> He pats her on the head. "Come one, we've got to keep moving."
  4. [18:24:53] <Steve> -e
  5. [18:25:20] <Lorelei> Sniff sniff.  "B-But we..."
  6. [18:25:29] * Lorelei shoots a glare at her nemesis, the door.
  7. [18:26:43] <Lorelei> This crying has had to have been going on for like, what, fifteen minutes?  This kid really gets into it.
  8. [18:27:01] <Steve> (I forget, does Steve KNOW she has the key or has she not showed him yet?)
  9. [18:27:15] <Steve> (...shown)
  10. [18:27:32] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (I don't think she did, and also fyi that's NOT the key to the stairs.)
  11. [18:27:35] <Lorelei> (It fell onto the floor last session)
  12. [18:28:39] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (Well whatever~)
  13. [18:28:54] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (I'll patiently wait until Lorelei is done BAWLING HER EYES OUT)
  14. [18:29:21] <Lorelei> (We're good)
  15. [18:29:39] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (Oh, so you guys will do stuff now? :3)
  16. [18:29:53] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Well you're sandwiched between trees.  Whatcha' gonna' do about that?
  17. [18:29:57] <Steve> (Maybe a little more spooning)
  18. [18:30:05] <Lorelei> (I won't object to this idea)
  19. [18:31:20] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Mr. GM will wait patiently for you guys~
  20. [18:31:21] <Lorelei> "O... Okay."  Well SOMEONE has to stop crying.  "What now?  Ah, where's the-"
  21. [18:31:37] * Lorelei conveniently notices the key falling out by now. Probably.
  22. [18:31:37] <Steve> "Well looks like you'll have to drag me back out. MAybe we can get through the other side?"
  23. [18:32:12] <Lorelei> .... And pockets it.
  24. [18:32:33] <~Aori_Radidjiu> There's also the LOCKED door to the STAIRS
  25. [18:32:35] <Lorelei> "It might hurt..."
  26. [18:32:56] <Steve> Steve looks down, not noticing her pocket the key like the witch she is. "It'll be fine."
  27. [18:33:26] <Lorelei> That should probably be a conceal check but holy hell dicemaid is all the way over there so who cares
  28. [18:34:09] * DiceMaid-9001 (DiceMaid-9@sux-EADD5C74) has joined #CarrionRiot
  29. [18:34:12] <Lorelei> "O... Okay."  She looks like she's about to burst into tears again at any second 1,1because she practiced this but slowly climbs out.
  30. [18:34:17] <Lorelei> NO IT'S TOO LATE FOR YOU
  31. [18:34:36] <~Aori_Radidjiu> What'll it be? :3
  32. [18:35:04] <Lorelei> We shall enter the trees to the north.
  33. [18:35:50] <Lorelei> ... Oh yeah, I need to squeeze him through though, right?
  34. [18:37:04] <Steve> Get the soap!
  35. [18:37:21] <Lorelei> d w e l
  36. [18:37:44] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Rooooll it~
  37. [18:37:46] <Lorelei> 1d100 alright I'll do it anyway- you know, 33% chance of success is actually not very good
  38. [18:37:47] <DiceMaid-9001> Lorelei, alright I'll do it anyway- you know, 33% chance of success is actually not very good: 80 [1d100=80]
  39. [18:38:57] <~Aori_Radidjiu> scratch
  40. [18:39:03] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Ow you hurt your arm. :/
  41. [18:39:31] <Lorelei> Whose?
  42. [18:39:59] <~Aori_Radidjiu> There's a big 1,1tasty scratch that's 1,1deliciously bleeding on your upper arm.  You didn't pull Steve through with you yet so he's unhurt.
  43. [18:40:25] <Lorelei> Oh, that WAS the check to pull Steve through, since there's no hurry to use the autosuccess, right?
  44. [18:40:37] <Lorelei> er, no hurry to make the autosuccess unusable
  45. [18:40:47] <Lorelei> ... That's fine though.
  46. [18:40:50] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Oh I see.
  47. [18:40:57] <Lorelei> We'll go with that anyway!
  48. [18:41:00] <~Aori_Radidjiu> You still hurt yourself rather than Steve though.
  49. [18:41:27] * Lorelei instinctively puts her mouth on it as is customary for children to do when they don't have things to wrap wounds up with!
  50. [18:41:34] <Steve> Steve looks to the hemophile with concern. "You okay?
  51. [18:42:00] <Lorelei> "Aaa... no no, it's okay."  She fights back tears.
  52. [18:42:12] <Lorelei> 1,1Slurp
  53. [18:44:31] * Lorelei tries to pull Steve through anyway, intent on exploring the room to their left together. Because the right one is mysteriously probably locked and they clearly don't have the key to it, nope!
  54. [18:46:45] * Lorelei stops partway through and pushes him back in. "Wait..."
  55. [18:47:18] <Steve> Steve almost hurts himself in confusion. "What is it?!"
  56. [18:47:46] <Lorelei> Elsewhere in the world somebody sees a sentence starting with 'It' and tosses a handheld device out a window.  But that isn't here.
  57. [18:48:59] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (1,1Reliving one of your Corpse Party failures?)
  58. [18:49:39] <Lorelei> (1,1No, that was a Pokémon joke)
  59. [18:50:05] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (1,1Oh, I seeeeee)
  60. [18:50:13] <Lorelei> "I just realized something... maybe we can get out.  Ow ow ow."
  61. [18:51:03] * Lorelei childishly laps up another lick of blood and squeezes back, brandishing the key. "Maybe this goes here."
  62. [18:52:45] <Lorelei> 1d100 BEGONE, FOUL DOOR
  63. [18:52:48] <DiceMaid-9001> Lorelei, BEGONE, FOUL DOOR: 50 [1d100=50]
  64. [18:52:57] <Lorelei> ABOUT FUCKING TIME
  65. [18:53:27] <~Aori_Radidjiu> You stick in the key and there's a click
  66. [18:53:28] * Lorelei jams the key in the door and twists the knob.
  67. [18:53:53] <Lorelei> "Phew.... sorry."  Her hair anime-droops.  "I forgot about it..."
  68. [18:54:06] <Steve> "Can I come out now?"
  69. [18:54:28] * Lorelei headtilts. "But it's right here..."
  70. [18:54:42] <Lorelei> This is the door INSIDE the tree-enclosure, btw
  71. [18:54:46] <Lorelei> The one that says 'stairs.'
  72. [18:54:57] <Steve> (Ah I see)
  73. [18:55:12] <Lorelei> (Yeah I just realized that may have been unclear, whoopsie)
  74. [18:55:43] <Steve> ""Then I guess...let's go"
  75. [18:56:17] * Lorelei sniffles again and, with a nod, enters a loading screen that shows a camera slowly inching toward a door and opening it.
  76. [18:56:18] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Into the stairs, you see...
  77. [18:56:26] <~Aori_Radidjiu> That the stairs up and totally demolished
  78. [18:56:34] <~Aori_Radidjiu> And the stairs down are intact.
  79. [18:56:47] <~Aori_Radidjiu> *are, not and
  80. [18:56:58] <Lorelei> 1,1How big of a leap is it to get upstairs?
  81. [18:57:11] <Lorelei> 1,1That's a joke, don't answer that
  82. [18:57:46] <Steve> (But seriously, if they wanted to could they?
  83. [18:57:47] <Steve> )
  84. [19:00:06] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Like, the entirety of what can be considered "stairs" going up is completely missing, with some bits and pieces remaining that look like they'll collapse if you look at them funny.
  85. [19:00:19] <Steve> Steve looks at them funny.
  86. [19:00:39] * Lorelei wishes them gone forever.
  87. [19:00:49] <~Aori_Radidjiu> crumble crumble fall fall fall
  88. [19:00:58] <Steve> "Guess we haven't got much of a choice..."
  89. [19:01:35] <Lorelei> Sniff.  "Let's be careful..."
  90. [19:02:33] <Steve> He gives a manly nod.
  91. [19:02:41] <Lorelei> She gives a girly sniffle.
  92. [19:02:55] <Steve> And down the stairs he goes.
  93. [19:03:37] * Lorelei clings as he goes down, despite the obvious danger of putting the weight of two people on stairs this flimsy.
  94. [19:03:37] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Down down down ya' go~
  95. [19:05:02] <~Aori_Radidjiu> You finish climbing down and find double doors with a broken chain and padlock on them.  Looks like you're now on floor 1
  96. [19:05:23] <Lorelei> Is that the ONLY exit?
  97. [19:06:03] <~Aori_Radidjiu> From the staircase?  Yes.
  98. [19:06:40] <Lorelei> .... Oh, right, you said 'broken.'
  99. [19:06:46] * Lorelei gives the doors a girly push to see if they open.
  100. [19:09:44] <~Aori_Radidjiu> They open up!  To a sorta' familiar hallway, this is the first floor, Lorelei's been all over this place before, but in the real world the doors she just opened were locked from the other side.
  101. [19:10:29] * Lorelei goes back to clinging, stifling another sniffle.
  102. [19:11:28] <Lorelei> Sniff.  Oh, there it goes.  "M-Maybe Sis is here somewhere..."
  103. [19:11:30] <~Aori_Radidjiu> There's a door to your left and to your right, and a double door within the hallway (that seems to lead to another hallway).
  104. [19:14:16] <Steve> "It's certainly possible..."
  105. [19:14:58] * Steve tries the door on the left.
  106. [19:15:05] <Lorelei> "She..."  Lorelei shivers and shakes her head.  "... Nevermind."
  107. [19:15:29] <~Aori_Radidjiu> It's open!
  108. [19:15:32] <~Aori_Radidjiu> There is...
  109. [19:15:45] <Lorelei> don'tbeascreamerdon'tbeascreamerdon'tbeascreamer
  110. [19:17:15] <~Aori_Radidjiu> The biggest reptile you have ever seen in your life in this room.  It seems to have been sleeping, but you woke it up.  It's looking right at you, tongue slithering in and out.  It's like a komodo dragon, but a good amount bigger, more like the size of a dinosaur.  The room is...a cave?  Doesn't match the rest of the building at all, Lorelei has BEEN IN HERE before and it was just a
  111. [19:17:15] <~Aori_Radidjiu> boring, plain, empty room before.
  112. [19:17:48] <Lorelei> "... Close the door."
  113. [19:17:54] <Steve> "..." He very slowly closes the door.
  114. [19:18:04] <~Aori_Radidjiu> The door is closed.
  115. [19:18:24] <Lorelei> We need to reverse the steps, as there was already a dinosaur in there.  As long as everybody stays off the floor it's fine.
  116. [19:18:45] <Lorelei> (... I'm so sorry that just cracked itself)
  117. [19:19:19] * Lorelei steps back and whimpers, shivering.
  118. [19:19:20] <~Aori_Radidjiu> There's no sound on the other side.  maybe it decided that chasing you guys wasn't worth it?
  119. [19:19:45] <Steve> "Well...that...was a new one."
  120. [19:20:01] <Lorelei> "Ulp.  Maybe... the other side..."
  121. [19:20:43] <Steve> Steve crosses to the other side and tries the right door.
  122. [19:21:19] * Lorelei stands guard behind him and watches to make sure Sylp- I mean the reptile doesn't burst through the door.
  123. [19:22:15] <~Aori_Radidjiu> It opens up to...a swamp?  There's a bunch of frogs croaking on lilypads, a stream passing through, eventually hitting an impossibly thick amount of trees, and coming from...a waterfall?  There's an open sky despite this being IN A BUILDING.  There's a single frog with a crown on its head.  Croaaaak.
  124. [19:22:59] <Lorelei> "... That's a little less scary," in a whisper.
  125. [19:23:26] <~Aori_Radidjiu> They're all differently colored
  126. [19:23:36] <Steve> "That's...a frog...king?"
  127. [19:23:58] <Lorelei> "Or maybe a princess?"
  128. [19:24:00] <~Aori_Radidjiu> One frog is blue with red stripes, another is black with red stripes, a third is red with blue stripes, another is green with black stripes, and the king is purple with yellow stripes.
  129. [19:24:08] <Steve> Too bad Steve forgot his Ocarina at home.
  130. [19:25:03] <~Aori_Radidjiu> There's a note hanging from the wall that the door is on.  Huh.  Weird that.  The wall the door you came in through is the only real "wall" in this room.
  131. [19:25:46] * Lorelei looks genuinely puzzled. "Are we supposed to...?" She stretches her lolibody to see the note without actually stepping out of the hallway. If possible.
  132. [19:26:02] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Red lies.  All others tell truth."
  133. [19:26:21] <Steve> "...But...who wrote the note?"
  134. [19:26:36] <~Aori_Radidjiu> GOOD QUESTION
  135. [19:26:46] <~Aori_Radidjiu> TOO BAD YOU'LL NEVER KNOW 1,1or will you?
  136. [19:27:09] <Roara> (are you calling my mad godling a liar, aori)
  137. [19:27:11] <Roara> (you dick)
  138. [19:27:12] * Lorelei looks behind her shoulder and grimaces a little, but steps in further. "We're supposed to... ask them a question?"
  139. [19:27:36] <Steve> "I mean if these frogs can talk and wear hats in a ghostly power plant, writing wouldn't be that weird...but if the red frog was the one that wrote the note...uh...I don't...even..."
  140. [19:28:16] <Lorelei> "And uh... that one... and that one... and that one have red on them..."
  141. [19:28:53] <Steve> "...Maybe we should check the double doors before doing anything."
  142. [19:29:08] * Lorelei makes sure she's not wearing any red... aw, there's still some blood. Crap.
  143. [19:29:16] <Lorelei> "Okay."
  144. [19:29:16] <~Aori_Radidjiu> The king(?) frog pipes up!  "Dost thou seek to slay the dragon?"
  145. [19:29:31] <Lorelei> Does it sound kingly?
  146. [19:29:52] <~Aori_Radidjiu> It speaks in a deep, commanding voice!
  147. [19:29:54] <Steve> "Um...well...slaying isn't really required...we mostly just wanted to get out." He...bows...because it's a frog king.
  148. [19:30:08] <Lorelei> Yep!
  149. [19:30:30] * Lorelei curtseys and is about to speak up, but... wears a soft smile and lets him do it.
  150. [19:31:42] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Yonder portal ahead is locked by those most foul!  Ye dragon guards the means through, so to continue thou must slay it!"
  151. [19:32:22] * Lorelei ponders a second and chimes in. "Where... does the portal lead?"
  152. [19:33:23] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "One of our subjects secrets a most foul venom that will kill those that consume them...but unfortunately, in our age, we have forgotten which of our subjects is the poisonous one!  Apologies.  The portal takes one ot the rest of this floor, of course!"
  153. [19:34:44] <Steve> "The dragon didn't really seem to care when we opened the door..."
  154. [19:35:46] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "He only kills those that try to pilfer his treasure!  Or are most delicious frogfolk, we are his favorite meal!"
  155. [19:36:08] <Steve> "Then...what's the treasure?"
  156. [19:36:22] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "We know not!"
  157. [19:36:48] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "None have gazed upon it without being devoured by that most foul dragon!"
  158. [19:36:58] <Steve> "So then could we just go past him to the portal?"
  159. [19:36:59] * Lorelei goes back to hiding behind Steve now. "So... he eats frogs..."
  160. [19:37:10] <Lorelei> Aaaand shakes that thought off.
  161. [19:37:41] <~Aori_Radidjiu> The king blinks a few times.  "Portal is a synonym for 'door', lad."
  162. [19:38:04] <Steve> "Yeah, you said he just guards the treasure, not the door..."
  163. [19:38:16] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Correct."
  164. [19:38:22] <Lorelei> "The means... ohhh."
  165. [19:38:30] <Steve> "Ah, it's another key?"
  166. [19:38:45] * Lorelei gives a tiny nod. "... Sounds like it."
  167. [19:38:57] <Steve> "Can he talk too?"
  168. [19:39:42] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "We're not sure!  He's more fond of eating than talking if he can!"
  169. [19:40:30] <Steve> "It WOULD be nice to have a dragon on our side...so...who wrote the note on the door?"
  170. [19:40:49] * Lorelei starts lightbulbing and steps back a bit.
  171. [19:40:57] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Not one of us!  It has been there since time immemorial!"
  172. [19:41:44] <Steve> (What color was the dragon?)
  173. [19:42:11] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (It was a most scaly, shimmering black~)
  174. [19:43:32] * Lorelei decides this is a good time and tries to tug at Steve's sleeve (rhyme intentional), toward a place where the frogs can't hear them.
  175. [19:43:46] <Steve> He submits.
  176. [19:44:05] <Lorelei> Whisperwhisper.  "What if he's lying?"
  177. [19:44:22] <Steve> "That's what I had been wondering as well..."
  178. [19:44:44] <~Aori_Radidjiu> he's a very not-red purple.  A royal purple.
  179. [19:45:01] <Lorelei> "If he's lying, then a liar wrote the note... so that means the other ones would all tell the truth, right?"
  180. [19:45:22] <Steve> "Not necessarily..."
  181. [19:45:50] <Lorelei> "Oh..."
  182. [19:46:27] <Steve> "If he was lying, it could just be that there's a different metric for figuring out who is..."
  183. [19:46:48] <Lorelei> "Should we ask the others?"
  184. [19:47:54] <Steve> "Hmm...it may be easiest to ask each of them which ones tell the truth..."
  185. [19:49:17] <Lorelei> "Maybe... or we could ask a question where it'd be really obvious if they're lying, like 'Am I a frog?'  Right?"
  186. [19:50:21] <Steve> "Hm...well...uh...is there a difference between frogs and toads?"
  187. [19:51:06] <Steve> "Because what if they really AREN'T a frog or a toad?"
  188. [19:52:10] <Lorelei> "No... I meant ME.  I'm not a frog, so if they say I am one..."
  189. [19:52:36] <Steve> "Oh...wel...are you?" Jokes!
  190. [19:52:49] <Steve> He remembers to smile afterwards.
  191. [19:53:11] * Lorelei looks up a bit, then wipes a bit of the blood she'd been bleeding on a finger and holds that finger up to him. It's red. "Yes."
  192. [19:53:44] <Lorelei> She manages a strained smile afterward too... then quickly turns around to get a lick of that when he's paying attention to the frogs god damn this is addictive.
  193. [19:55:04] <Steve> "Might as well...should be obvious if we neeed an ew strategy."
  194. [19:55:14] <Lorelei> (nice freudian slip)
  195. [19:55:45] * Lorelei resumes clingmode. "Okay."
  196. [19:58:25] <Steve> He approaches the blue frog with red stripes and points at Lorelei. "Is she a frog?"
  197. [19:58:46] * Lorelei follows behind looking as human as possible.
  198. [19:59:18] <~Aori_Radidjiu> It croaks and replies  "Are you making fun of me?"
  199. [19:59:44] <Steve> "I wish we could spare the time to be making fun...but no."
  200. [20:00:24] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Don't *croaaaaaaaaaaaak* waste my time!"
  201. [20:01:33] <Steve> "..." He glances at Lorelei.
  202. [20:01:34] * Lorelei pulls him back. "Guess that won't work."
  203. [20:02:35] <Lorelei> "That wasn't a lie or truth, so..."
  204. [20:03:07] <Steve> "It occurred to me we have no guarantee that any of them tell the truth.
  205. [20:03:09] <Steve> "
  206. [20:03:27] <Steve> "I mean the goal is for one of them to be eaten rigth? They rpboably don't want that."
  207. [20:05:00] <Lorelei> "Yeah... the king could be saying he eats frogs but he actually eats anything BUT frogs.  So if someone went to bring him a frog, they'd get..."
  208. [20:06:08] <Lorelei> "The thing about the poison would make us want to just feed him all the frogs until one of them kills him, right?"
  209. [20:06:35] <Lorelei> "So... there's no way that's true."
  210. [20:06:44] <Steve> "We could try asking the dragon...as long as we stay on our toes."
  211. [20:06:50] * Lorelei can come to these conclusions due to having maxed ranks in Lying which never get used for anything else!
  212. [20:07:21] <Lorelei> "Okay.... but..."
  213. [20:07:51] <Lorelei> "If that WAS the truth, couldn't we just open both doors at once and see if he goes after the frogs?"
  214. [20:08:23] <Steve> "Unless he'd rather guard the treasure than go after them..."
  215. [20:09:52] <Lorelei> "But then that means he doesn't like eating frogs, so the king was lying.  And that would mean the others tell the truth.  And that means he was lying about having forgotten which frog was the poison one too, and..."
  216. [20:10:05] * Lorelei suddenly gets into this for somebody who was just bawling her eyes out a few minutes ago.
  217. [20:10:33] <Steve> "He can LIKE frogs but still prioritize guarding the treasure...I don't even know if he fits through the door..."
  218. [20:10:49] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Judging from his size, you don't think he does.
  219. [20:10:51] <Lorelei> "Oh... it was worth a try."
  220. [20:11:58] <Lorelei> "So we'll ask him questions without going through the door."
  221. [20:14:44] <Steve> "Sounds like a pla." He goes to open the dragon's door, stopping briefly to try the double doors in case they were never locked at all.
  222. [20:15:00] <Lorelei> Nice pla.
  223. [20:15:06] <~Aori_Radidjiu> http://www.listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=MU_1hgyrKqE have some music, sorry about the lack of it
  224. [20:15:33] <Steve> The best pla.
  225. [20:15:57] <~Aori_Radidjiu> They have a wire tightly bound around them.  They're not LOCKED, per se, but this is really strong wire and it seems to be tied into too tight of a knot for you to untie it with your hands.
  226. [20:16:20] <~Aori_Radidjiu> You were in the fucking BOY SCOUTS and this knot looks impossible.
  227. [20:16:32] * Lorelei follows behind and makes sure to give the doors a look of disapproval once Steve moves on to the other one.
  228. [20:16:45] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Dragon door open?
  229. [20:17:13] <Steve> To the max.
  230. [20:17:45] * Lorelei gets in 'emergency slam door' position.
  231. [20:17:47] <~Aori_Radidjiu> It sits and glares at you, seeming to pay the most attention to your feet.
  232. [20:17:50] <Lorelei> Just in case.
  233. [20:18:07] <Steve> "Um...er...excuse me...mister dragon?"
  234. [20:19:20] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "4,1What."  It has a low, gravelly voice, and its tone conveys annoyance.
  235. [20:19:29] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (oh, got that backwards)
  236. [20:19:37] <~Aori_Radidjiu> *"1,4What."
  237. [20:19:42] <~Aori_Radidjiu> *"1,4What."
  238. [20:19:46] <~Aori_Radidjiu> There we go.
  239. [20:19:48] <Steve> "How do you feel about the frogs in the other room?"
  240. [20:20:06] * Lorelei leans to the side to grumble.
  241. [20:20:27] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "1,4In what way."
  242. [20:20:55] <Steve> "Um...do you like to eat them?"
  243. [20:21:29] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "1,4Possibly."
  244. [20:22:11] <Steve> "Is...there anyway we can make a trade? Maybe we can get you those frogs and in return you let us borrow your treasure to open the door to continue and then we'll return it?"
  245. [20:22:19] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "1,4I'm having trouble hearing you, could you come a bit closer?"
  246. [20:23:21] <Steve> Steve blinks, muttering to himself. "Is he trying to Red Riding Hood us?"
  247. [20:23:22] * Lorelei lightbulbs over to Steve's side. "He's not red..."
  248. [20:24:43] <Lorelei> Headshake.  "This is stupid, let's just throw the frogs at him."
  249. [20:25:01] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "1,4Whatever the case, I'm not letting you borrow my treasure, I don't trust you."
  250. [20:26:40] * Steve nods to Lorelei. "One last question, do you know which of the frogs are known for lying?"
  251. [20:27:18] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "1,4I'd rather eat them than listen to them prattle."
  252. [20:28:37] <Lorelei> "Eat them... true.  Frogs are his favorites... true.  Both not red..." She pushes two index fingers together.
  253. [20:29:17] <Steve> "Alright...well...thank you." He steps away so Lorelei can close the door. "But now we actually have to deal with handling the frogs..."
  254. [20:29:24] <Steve> (Does Lorelei still have her backpack or was it abandoned?)
  255. [20:29:46] <Lorelei> (She never leaves her backpack behind, it's still there.)
  256. [20:30:13] <Steve> "Hm...if they're anything like poison dart frogs, we should probably use your bag to transport them."
  257. [20:30:22] * Lorelei indeed closes the door. "Okay."
  258. [20:31:04] <Lorelei> "There's..."  She lets out the most silent sigh of relief ever.  "A lot of space in there."
  259. [20:32:57] <Steve> "What if they...you know...attack us?"
  260. [20:33:46] <Lorelei> "If the king told the truth that means only one is poison, and it's only poison if you eat it... right?"
  261. [20:34:30] <Lorelei> "I don't think frogs can hurt us as much as..."  Shiver.
  262. [20:35:14] <Steve> "Its skin could be poisonous...and I mean...they could actually be demon ghost things in disguise..."
  263. [20:36:50] * Lorelei idly reopens the door to the frogroom, having no clue what the fuck.
  264. [20:37:06] <Lorelei> "Let's... try anyway."
  265. [20:37:47] <Steve> "Alright...um...hand me the bug, I guess..." He looks sooo guilty.
  266. [20:37:59] <Lorelei> Bug.
  267. [20:38:08] <Steve> (GEHIARHEIARH)
  268. [20:38:20] <~Aori_Radidjiu> You wish you had a bug.
  269. [20:38:24] <~Aori_Radidjiu> ...or do you?
  270. [20:38:27] <Lorelei> Frogs fuckin' love bugs.
  271. [20:38:47] <Steve> Are there even any bugs in the ghostplant?
  272. [20:38:55] * Lorelei does not have a bug, but has a bag and that's close enough. She pauses a bit but takes it off and hands it over.
  273. [20:39:17] <~Aori_Radidjiu> 1,1Are you sure you want to know?
  274. [20:39:37] <Roara> (i do)
  275. [20:40:08] <Lorelei> (dude he's implying giant spiders)
  276. [20:40:11] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (You're not playing shut up)
  277. [20:40:16] <Lorelei> (giant spiders are like the most GENERIC horror you can get)
  278. [20:40:21] <Steve> Of course I want to know.
  279. [20:40:32] <Steve> For I am a man.
  280. [20:41:30] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Well, you'll find out eventually.
  281. [20:41:52] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Anyway what the fuck are you guys doing about the frogs goddamn
  282. [20:42:18] <Lorelei> We're probably doing that thing where we look at each other and go 'Uh, so what do YOU think we should do?' but without actually saying it.
  283. [20:42:29] <Steve> Steve awkwardly approaches the dick-frog he questioned who wouldn't give an actual answer.
  284. [20:43:02] <Steve> Bag attack, GO!
  285. [20:43:22] * Lorelei follows behind, ready to save him IN THE NAME OF LOVE in case this screws up.
  286. [20:43:27] <~Aori_Radidjiu> All the frogs simultaneously jump into the water.
  287. [20:43:52] <Steve> Clever girl.
  288. [20:44:39] <Roara> (spiders aren't bugs)
  289. [20:45:29] <~Aori_Radidjiu> And then the Frog King pops out after like a minute.  "Apologies, but we do not condone the wonton capture of our subjects.  Please think about which frog thou will take carefully, and know that thou will only get to take one of our subjects."
  290. [20:46:39] <Lorelei> "If there were rules, why didn't you TELL us there were rules?"
  291. [20:46:57] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "We thought thou would be careful from the start!"
  292. [20:47:49] * Lorelei is in enough of a mood to facepalm instead of being timid, for once.
  293. [20:48:41] <Steve> "Technically we were being careful."
  294. [20:49:06] <~Aori_Radidjiu> All the other frogs pop up back onto their lilypads, apprehensively.
  295. [20:49:29] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Thou should gather more information before making thine choice!"
  296. [20:49:45] * Lorelei grumbles a little. "I could eat a frog myself by now..."
  297. [20:52:39] <~Aori_Radidjiu> SO WHAT'LL IT BE?
  298. [20:52:59] <Lorelei> "Ahm."  That's not even 'ahem,' that's actuall 'ahm.'  Irritatedlei approaches the... black and red, was it?  One without even asking, learning down to ask it a simple question.  "Are you red?"
  299. [20:53:23] <Steve> Learning all the way down?
  300. [20:53:46] <Lorelei> She has to learn sometime.
  301. [20:54:01] <~Aori_Radidjiu> It stares into your eyes unblinkingly
  302. [20:54:12] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Are you shitting me?"
  303. [20:54:25] <Lorelei> "Yes or no."
  304. [20:54:31] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Ask something less stupid."
  305. [20:54:57] * Lorelei only has to ponder for a second or two. "What kind of question ISN'T stupid?"
  306. [20:55:08] <Steve> "It's going to be hard to find out which one's poisonous when they're not even intelligent enough to understand what color they are..."
  307. [20:55:42] <~Aori_Radidjiu> The king pipes up.  "Our subjects...don't like being asked obvious questions."
  308. [20:56:10] * Lorelei hairsidedroops. "I wish these rules were all written down..."
  309. [20:56:40] <Steve> "Which frog do you think is poisonous?" Still to the black and red motherfucker.
  310. [20:58:01] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "While many of our subjects are lacking in veracity, they dislike being forced to reveal their *ahem* true colors."  The black and red one thinks for a bit and then replies.  "I think the king's lying that there's only one.  Both me and the other one with black on it are  poisonous!"
  311. [20:58:32] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Well, not really that his majesty is lying."
  312. [20:58:45] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Just that since he doesn't remember, that could mean there's more than one, right?"
  313. [21:01:05] * Lorelei notes the red on that one and goes to the green+black frog, nodding to Steve and turning back. "Okay, which frog do you think is poisonous?"
  314. [21:01:21] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "It can't be the king."
  315. [21:01:41] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "Poisonous frogs can't become king, after all!"
  316. [21:03:15] * Lorelei nods and goes back to Steve's side, irritadar nearing critical mass.
  317. [21:04:07] <Lorelei> Oh and she probably takes her backpack back somewhere along the line.  1,1Maybe sniffs it when he's looking away if he held onto it long enough.
  318. [21:04:08] <Steve> And for the sake of brevity, they would continue on to ask each frog that question, including the king, so that they don't have to keep scrolling up to see what the frog colors were, yes?
  319. [21:04:18] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Okay, sure, sec.
  320. [21:04:18] <Lorelei> That's a good idea.
  321. [21:04:24] <~Aori_Radidjiu> The king says "I have no idea!"
  322. [21:05:11] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Blue with red stripes says "It's gotta' be either me or the other frog with blue on it!"
  323. [21:05:29] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Red with blue stripes says "I think it's black with red stripes! Definitely!"
  324. [21:07:27] <Lorelei> "Oh..."  Going back to the COUNCIL after asking, Lore's hair perks up a little.  Just to be anime.  "When they do either-or like that..."
  325. [21:09:29] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (And just to be nice, take a look over http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NAND_logic )
  326. [21:09:41] <Lorelei> (no I'm doing this clean)
  327. [21:10:02] <Steve> (Like I need refreshers on logic >O)
  328. [21:10:25] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (I know Cracky doesn't, but I wanted Tree to know a bit more about formal logic.  but sure)
  329. [21:10:55] <Lorelei> (oh sure I'm ILLOGICAL now)
  330. [21:11:14] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (~)
  331. [21:12:08] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (If it's okay with you guys I kind of want to grab a snack while you mull it over.)
  332. [21:12:21] <Steve> (You're not allowed to eat)
  333. [21:12:34] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (...'kay ;_;)
  334. [21:12:54] <Lorelei> "Red-Black says there's two..."  Her arms cross to form an X.  "Wrong.  There's only one.  Red-Black isn't it.  And it's not either of the blues..."
  335. [21:13:54] <Roara> (always let your gm eat)
  336. [21:13:57] <Roara> (it's vital)
  337. [21:14:06] <Roara> (or they start getting hungry and cranky and want to end the session early and)
  338. [21:14:36] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (Okay cool I still have the remains of a hershey's bar)
  339. [21:15:10] <Roara> ((one time i gmed, i had actual session breaks for the sake of food D: ))
  340. [21:16:19] <Lorelei> "Red-Black lying means it's not both him and Green-Black, but it doesn't mean it can't be JUST Green-Black... and Green-Black said something that didn't mention himself if he actually is one of the only not-liars.  And the others all left Green-Black alone, so...!"
  341. [21:16:59] * Steve nods. "I also came to the conclusion of green with black stripes."
  342. [21:17:41] * Lorelei looks up. "If it doesn't work..."
  343. [21:18:01] <Lorelei> Headshake.  Actually she's grinning for a second but wipes it off quick, holding the bag out and approaching green-black slowly.
  344. [21:18:11] <~Aori_Radidjiu> The green-black one bows his head.  "I accept my fate."
  345. [21:18:49] <Lorelei> "He might swallow you whole and..."
  346. [21:18:52] <Lorelei> "..."
  347. [21:19:09] <~Aori_Radidjiu> All the others look like they're gonna' cry.  "Nono, take me!"  "I'm totally poisonous, take me instead!" "Even if I'm not poisonous I'll totally lead the dragon on a wild goose chase!"
  348. [21:19:31] * Lorelei mutters a silent 'nevermind' and looks back to Steve to see if he's going to do that protagonist thing of declaring BUT WAIT and presenting another logical solution.
  349. [21:19:39] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Green-black nods.  "I'm ready."
  350. [21:19:59] <Steve> What did the king say, since he's the only motherfucker who isn't read other than green-black.
  351. [21:20:23] <~Aori_Radidjiu> He said he's pretty sure there's only one, but he has no idea which one.
  352. [21:21:22] <Steve> I mean while everyone else was crying shit.
  353. [21:21:25] <Lorelei> He probably means 'what did he say when the others we- ^
  354. [21:21:26] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Well, only one out of the frogs here.  He has an entire kingdom of frogs, after all!
  355. [21:21:41] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Oh, that?  He remained quiet.
  356. [21:21:57] <~Aori_Radidjiu> A king is always dignified
  357. [21:22:01] <Steve> "I think...we have the right one."
  358. [21:22:19] <Steve> 1d100 Quick, double check with Bullshit Protagonist Intuition
  359. [21:22:20] <DiceMaid-9001> Steve, Quick, double check with Bullshit Protagonist Intuition: 72 [1d100=72]
  360. [21:22:26] <Lorelei> "Uh-huh.  Let's go."
  361. [21:22:42] * Lorelei mutters under her breath, leading the way out.
  362. [21:22:45] * Steve just makes a derpface.
  363. [21:22:56] <~Aori_Radidjiu> You don't get any sudden premonitions or anything, sorry.
  364. [21:23:03] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Green-black hops into your bag.
  365. [21:24:32] <Lorelei> Now, let's spend a full minute describing how we open the other door!
  366. [21:24:55] * ~Aori_Radidjiu headdesks.
  367. [21:25:21] <Lorelei> Here, before we even get further in this session now's where you can say 'you guys overthought this.'
  368. [21:25:27] <Lorelei> No duh, players overthink everything
  369. [21:26:12] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Such is GMing
  370. [21:26:35] * Lorelei spends a full minute opening the other door.
  371. [21:26:58] <~Aori_Radidjiu> The dragon stares.  "1,4What now?"
  372. [21:27:30] <Lorelei> Devil horns.  "Meat."
  373. [21:27:37] * Lorelei stands outside the door, of course.
  374. [21:27:54] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "1,4Actions speak louder than words."
  375. [21:28:07] * Steve prepares himself to run like a Kenyan.
  376. [21:28:38] * Lorelei holds the backpack, taking a deep breath, then FLINGS the frog out of it into the room! Or, uh... tries to.
  377. [21:29:22] <Lorelei> ... Winks at the frog too, for the record.
  378. [21:29:34] <~Aori_Radidjiu> The Green-black frog hops right out of the backpack on its own and hops to its doom.  "I hope I will suffice, dragon."
  379. [21:30:01] <~Aori_Radidjiu> The dragon opens its mouth and reveals its JESUSFUCK load of teeth.  "1,4That you will!"
  380. [21:30:19] <~Aori_Radidjiu> It CHOMPS the frog, and swallows it whole.
  381. [21:30:21] * Steve would begin to sprint toward the phat lewt the moment the dragon seemed to be distracted and/or sufficiently unable to immediately maul anyone. He can't die here. D:
  382. [21:30:29] <~Aori_Radidjiu> ... ... ...
  383. [21:30:34] * Steve would also stop if the thing looked at him.
  384. [21:30:45] <~Aori_Radidjiu> "1,4Thank you for the great meal."
  385. [21:30:47] * Lorelei stares in the dragon's eyes, waiting to see what it does but never letting up that deathstare for a second.
  386. [21:31:10] <~Aori_Radidjiu> It flicks its tongue out a few times before spontaneously disintegrating into nothing.
  387. [21:31:20] <Lorelei> "..."
  388. [21:31:27] <Lorelei> "Okay."
  389. [21:31:36] <Steve> "...Oh..." No sprinting required...he just walks over to the treasure but still expecting ninja dragons to avenge him or something.
  390. [21:31:44] <~Aori_Radidjiu> There's a pile of ash left over.
  391. [21:31:58] <~Aori_Radidjiu> You see behind where the dragon was sitting a big collection of gold coins
  392. [21:32:03] <~Aori_Radidjiu> ...and a wire cutter.
  393. [21:32:25] * Lorelei looks at the ash, expecting a frog to jump out of it.
  394. [21:33:00] <Steve> Gold coins? Ain't nobody got time for that. Wire cutter get.
  395. [21:33:11] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Sure is a pile of ash.
  396. [21:33:41] <Lorelei> One guess who stops giving a shit about the frog after one second of staring!
  397. [21:33:45] <Lorelei> (Poor guy ;_;)
  398. [21:34:15] <Roara> (i guess dave)
  399. [21:34:18] * Lorelei walks to kawaii Sutibu-kun's side as he gets the wirecutter and observes the coins, though.
  400. [21:34:27] <Roara> (seems like a thing he'd do)
  401. [21:34:39] <Roara> (not in general or anything, just can't imagine him liking frogs that much)
  402. [21:35:16] <~Aori_Radidjiu> You got Wire Cutter!
  403. [21:35:20] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Now what.
  404. [21:35:37] <Lorelei> How big's the coinpile?  Big enough for something to be under it?
  405. [21:36:05] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Totally.
  406. [21:36:17] <~Aori_Radidjiu> If you wanna' go coin diving knock yourself out.
  407. [21:36:21] * Lorelei boredly kicks some of the coins to scatter them while he's doing that.
  408. [21:37:27] <Steve> Are they chocolate coins?
  409. [21:37:42] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Wanna' try unwrapping one?
  410. [21:38:13] <Steve> With the wire cutter.
  411. [21:38:17] <Lorelei> ... Actually, better idea, snatching one.  Just one.
  412. [21:38:35] <Lorelei> 1d100 there is like, no reason to roll snatch because I mean they're right there, but I just want to anyway
  413. [21:38:36] <DiceMaid-9001> Lorelei, there is like, no reason to roll snatch because I mean they're right there, but I just want to anyway: 43 [1d100=43]
  414. [21:38:42] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Seems to be a real coin.
  415. [21:38:46] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Snatched.
  416. [21:38:57] <Lorelei> That is 'sneak away without being seen and stuff into backpack' tier, yep!
  417. [21:40:07] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Now what?
  418. [21:40:15] <Lorelei> Can we make out?
  419. [21:40:23] <Lorelei> ... Nah let's save that for the sequel.  To the door!
  420. [21:40:26] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Who am I to tell you no?
  421. [21:40:47] <Steve> Steve applies his skilled doorate arts to the door.
  422. [21:41:26] * Lorelei lets him handle the wirecutting, with no clue how to do so herself.
  423. [21:41:31] <Lorelei> What a leech.
  424. [21:41:33] <~Aori_Radidjiu> After you leave the room, there's a rustle, and the frog jumps out of the pile of ash, and gives out a single croak.  "...I wish I had hands to open the door with."  Neither of you guys hear him, though.
  425. [21:41:45] <Lorelei> PFFFFFFFF
  426. [21:41:55] <Steve> (Who says we closed it?)
  427. [21:42:07] <Lorelei> (All horror game characters close doors behind them.)
  428. [21:42:19] <Steve> (Worst plan ever)
  429. [21:42:27] <~Aori_Radidjiu> That, and haunted houses like to keep their doors closed as much as possible.
  430. [21:42:39] <Lorelei> So does he get to work?  Huh huh?
  431. [21:42:55] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Most doors in this place are the kind that close if you aren't holding them open, anyway.
  432. [21:43:07] <Steve> But not all?
  433. [21:43:29] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Now roll wirecutting to cut the wire.  Oh wait you don't have it.  sucks to be you.
  434. [21:43:33] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Kidding, can you imagine?
  435. [21:43:37] <Lorelei> "That was..."  Oh whatever he gets talked to whether he's cutting the wire or not.
  436. [21:43:39] <~Aori_Radidjiu> You cut the wire, no problem.
  437. [21:44:29] <Lorelei> "... Kind of fun.  It's... not even that scary anymore."
  438. [21:44:51] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Open the door?
  439. [21:45:14] <Lorelei> No because it's going to open to /session
  440. [21:45:25] <Steve> Maybe we stop and make out first.
  441. [21:45:34] <Lorelei> Yeah, maybe we stop and make out first.
  442. [21:45:42] <Lorelei> Why don't you think of our feelings?
  443. [21:46:02] <~Aori_Radidjiu> How's about you quit talking about making out
  444. [21:46:04] <~Aori_Radidjiu> And just do it.
  445. [21:46:11] <Lorelei> Needs buildup!
  446. [21:46:19] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Then do that~!
  447. [21:46:40] <Steve> Well now you've ruined the mood.
  448. [21:46:45] <Lorelei> Jerk!
  449. [21:46:49] <Lorelei> "Umm..."
  450. [21:47:08] * Lorelei reverts to timid mode. Timode.
  451. [21:47:11] <~Aori_Radidjiu> 1,1                                                                                                                        
  452. [21:47:25] <Lorelei> (fuck okay you can get away with getting me back THIS time)
  453. [21:48:00] <Steve> (I...I thought it was going to say something...I TRUSTED you! /runsawaycrying)
  454. [21:48:19] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (You guys wanted me to shut up and quit ruining the mood)
  455. [21:48:24] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (So I decided to say nothing)
  456. [21:48:31] <Lorelei> (parentheses parentheses parentheses)
  457. [21:48:38] <Lorelei> ((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))
  458. [21:48:42] <~Aori_Radidjiu> (((((((())))))))
  459. [21:48:55] <Lorelei> (()([])())
  460. [21:49:43] * Steve opens that motherfucking door. Quietly.
  461. [21:49:54] * Lorelei gets ignored and lets the door open.
  462. [21:51:17] <~Aori_Radidjiu> There's a buzzing throughout the hallway after opening the door.  At first, you're not sure what it is, but you quickly realize that the walls and air are full of bugs.  The ground is teeming with maggots, slithering around on the floor, and you see flies gravitating around piles of shit scattered throughout the hallway.  OUt of the corners of your eyes you can see a bee's nest or three.
  463. [21:51:19] <Steve> (Obviously death was not close enough for the passion boner)
  464. [21:51:50] <~Aori_Radidjiu> Or maybe it's a wasp's nest.
  465. [21:51:54] <Lorelei> STOP THAT
  466. [21:52:00] <Lorelei> "... Ugh.  N-Nevermind."
  467. [21:52:17] <~Aori_Radidjiu> 1,1And now on that note we end the session.
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