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Giantree Summons Satan for Homolust

Bigwood Oct 20th, 2016 (edited) 86 Never
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  1. [04:01:55] <Giantree> ok so i'm still sorting out
  2. [04:02:00] <Giantree> the FULL WACK dreams i had
  3. [04:02:32] <@SumDumD00d> blog that shit
  4. [04:02:40] <Giantree> one of which involved summoning satan, causing the apocalypse, and surviving getting shot in the head for years because an egocentric fat furry was an asshole
  5. [04:03:06] <Giantree> like the dream took place over maybe a decade or so, sparing no detail
  6. [04:03:11] <Giantree> and then i woke up and it was midnight
  7. [04:03:16] <Giantree> so i went back to sleep
  8. [04:03:21] <Giantree> but it was like
  9. [04:03:27] <Giantree> the first time in a LONG time
  10. [04:03:35] <Giantree> that i've had one that told a whole story start to finish
  11. [04:03:39] <Giantree> and didn't abruptly cut off
  12. [04:03:52] <Giantree> see, if you remember earlier this year
  13. [04:04:05] <Giantree> when i was addicted to that phoenix wright dramaqueen thing
  14. [04:04:17] <Giantree> apparently in the dream i was like
  15. [04:04:22] <Giantree> a big deal on a server of that
  16. [04:04:27] <Giantree> and i had a good friend
  17. [04:04:39] <Giantree> his name was otto and i don't know why i remember that or if it has any significance
  18. [04:05:01] <Giantree> but one day the server shut down and we had no contact with each other anymore
  19. [04:05:10] <Giantree> and i stopped playing that stuff
  20. [04:05:17] <Giantree> until eventually i got a job offer
  21. [04:05:22] <Giantree> and the job offer was really vague
  22. [04:05:27] <Giantree> so i didn't know what work it'd be
  23. [04:05:32] <Giantree> but i needed the jobs
  24. [04:05:34] <Giantree> so i went in
  25. [04:05:44] <Giantree> and they told me they wanted to be an admin for a new server
  26. [04:05:46] <Giantree> of that
  27. [04:05:54] <Giantree> and we did so in a nerd store
  28. [04:05:57] <Giantree> that was tiny as fuck
  29. [04:06:09] <Giantree> where we just sat in an LGS at computers because no customers came in
  30. [04:06:16] <Giantree> and every time someone did they'd ask for D&D
  31. [04:06:23] <Giantree> and we'd tell them "D&D sucks"
  32. [04:06:26] <Giantree> and they'd leave
  33. [04:06:38] <Giantree> but the guy who ran this server
  34. [04:06:52] <Giantree> was fat, had an ugly beard, and was also a dick
  35. [04:06:59] <Giantree> but i tried to put up with him
  36. [04:07:18] <Giantree> eventually we were almost forced to close because we had so few customers
  37. [04:07:34] <@SumDumD00d> ruo
  38. [04:07:35] <Giantree> and i was ordered to travel to a house that looks suspiciously like my grandfather's to find a fortune teller to help us out
  39. [04:07:36] <@SumDumD00d> rip
  40. [04:07:45] <Giantree> so i did
  41. [04:07:53] <Giantree> and brought her back
  42. [04:08:11] <Giantree> and she told fortunes by playing a card game
  43. [04:08:13] <Giantree> in our store
  44. [04:08:18] <Giantree> which customers thought was cool
  45. [04:08:20] <Giantree> so they came in
  46. [04:08:32] <Giantree> and so i decided to play too
  47. [04:08:39] <Giantree> and when i did
  48. [04:08:41] <Giantree> i drew a card
  49. [04:08:45] <Giantree> that wasn't even "the devil"
  50. [04:08:49] <Giantree> it actually said "satan"
  51. [04:09:00] <Giantree> and then satan appeared and caused the actual apocalypse
  52. [04:09:07] <Giantree> everyone there blamed me for it
  53. [04:09:17] <Giantree> and so i was on the run for years
  54. [04:09:30] <Giantree> eventually running into refugees from that server/store
  55. [04:09:36] <Giantree> and i never saw otto again and was sad
  56. [04:09:43] <Giantree> but i knew
  57. [04:09:52] <Giantree> the whole thing was actually a plan set in motion by the fat boss guy
  58. [04:09:57] <Giantree> who was a huge dick
  59. [04:10:00] <Giantree> i also forgot to mention
  60. [04:10:04] <Giantree> that the whole server he ran
  61. [04:10:11] <@SumDumD00d> uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
  62. [04:10:11] <Giantree> was just a big powertrip set up to make people worship him
  63. [04:10:15] <@SumDumD00d> how is this
  64. [04:10:18] <@SumDumD00d> a familiar story
  65. [04:10:36] <@SumDumD00d> your dream channelled some story
  66. [04:10:37] <@SumDumD00d> that is
  67. [04:10:37] <Giantree> because it's ripped straight from the longass /tg/ LARP tale of nephem festiva and high lord uncik
  68. [04:10:38] <@SumDumD00d> pops enough
  69. [04:10:39] <Giantree> er
  70. [04:10:40] <@SumDumD00d> where i know it
  71. [04:10:41] <Giantree> ulcik
  72. [04:10:56] <Giantree> which is a great tale and i'm ok with my subconscious stealing from it
  73. [04:11:05] <Giantree> because yeah this guy was defs ulcik
  74. [04:11:39] <Giantree> or maybe it was edgardo, a lot of pop tales deal with fat powertripping egoists
  75. [04:11:57] <Giantree> so anyway i traveled for years
  76. [04:12:08] <Giantree> and at one point met a bunch of refugees
  77. [04:12:30] <Giantree> from that place and from other servers of the same thing i guess
  78. [04:12:43] <Giantree> and they were pissed at me because i caused the apocalypse
  79. [04:12:51] <Giantree> so there was an argument
  80. [04:12:53] <@SumDumD00d> what a bunch of whiners
  81. [04:13:04] <Giantree> and one of them threatened to shoot me in the head
  82. [04:13:10] <Giantree> and i was like "sure, do it"
  83. [04:13:18] <Giantree> "but i'm looking for my friend otto and i won't die until i find him"
  84. [04:13:26] <@SumDumD00d> stabbed man: "what are you gonna do, stab me?
  85. [04:13:26] <Giantree> so they did it
  86. [04:13:34] <Giantree> lol
  87. [04:13:51] <Giantree> and i got shot in the back of th ehead for some reason
  88. [04:13:54] <Giantree> and i could FEEL IT
  89. [04:13:57] <Giantree> it basically just felt
  90. [04:14:02] <Giantree> like having a big sore
  91. [04:14:05] <Giantree> on the back of my head
  92. [04:14:13] <@SumDumD00d> i believe it
  93. [04:14:23] <Giantree> it didn't pass through or anything
  94. [04:14:26] <Giantree> the bullet just got stuck there
  95. [04:14:28] <Giantree> and even in the dream
  96. [04:14:32] <Giantree> i knew that's not how bullets worked
  97. [04:14:35] <Giantree> but i shrugged it off
  98. [04:14:39] <Giantree> and just sort of walked out
  99. [04:14:47] <Giantree> more years passed
  100. [04:14:53] <Giantree> and i wish i could say i remembered this part the most
  101. [04:14:58] <Giantree> but unfortunately i remember it the least
  102. [04:15:09] <Giantree> all i know is that i had SOME kind of showdown with the fat guy
  103. [04:15:19] <Giantree> and this was where he revealed that he was a furry too
  104. [04:15:38] <Giantree> and somehow i ended up exposing his misdeeds and he was publically executed or exiled or some shit
  105. [04:15:58] <Giantree> i wasn't a hero though, everyone was still mad that i caused the apocalypse anyway
  106. [04:16:07] <Giantree> in fact i think the fat guy might have been satan himself or something i dunno
  107. [04:16:31] <Giantree> but all that said and done, i was now thrown out into the world once again with even more struggles to find a job and have a normie life
  108. [04:16:50] <Giantree> someone i met during the journey, though, took pity on me and was running another server that doubled as a nerd store
  109. [04:16:59] <Giantree> and asked for my help
  110. [04:17:02] <Giantree> so i said ok
  111. [04:17:15] <Giantree> and went to work for a while
  112. [04:17:18] <Giantree> and then one day
  113. [04:17:27] <@SumDumD00d> man how did you have
  114. [04:17:30] <@SumDumD00d> so much fukken dream
  115. [04:17:31] <@SumDumD00d> jeeze
  116. [04:17:41] <Giantree> a dude with a beard who looked suspiciously like an internetman who showed me a picture of himself a few weeks ago showed up
  117. [04:17:49] <Giantree> and was like "hey man" and he didn't look very familiar
  118. [04:17:55] <Giantree> but then i looked at his face for a while
  119. [04:17:57] <Giantree> and realized
  120. [04:18:00] <Giantree> it was otto
  121. [04:18:05] <Giantree> and he'd been looking for me this whole time
  122. [04:18:09] <Giantree> just like i was looking for him
  123. [04:18:15] <Giantree> and when i was about to be overjoyed
  124. [04:18:21] <Giantree> i heard my own words echoing in my head
  125. [04:18:29] <Giantree> "i won't die until i see otto again"
  126. [04:18:34] <Giantree> and i felt the bullet in my head
  127. [04:18:48] <Giantree> suddenly starting to kill me finally
  128. [04:19:01] <Giantree> so i smiled, and i think hugged him or something
  129. [04:19:06] <Giantree> and then fell over and died
  130. [04:19:08] <Giantree> my mission complete
  131. [04:19:13] <Giantree> and then i woke up crying
  132. [04:19:20] <@SumDumD00d> sad drem
  133. [04:19:21] <Giantree> end
  134. [04:19:28] <Giantree> it was a great journey
  135. [04:19:31] <Giantree> dunno how it happened
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