Anon Investigates - 2

Feb 1st, 2016
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  1. >I woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking.
  2. >And to an incredibly itchy feeling in my general lower areas.
  3. >I groaned in discomfort and glanced down at myself.
  4. >Ugh, gross.
  5. >Dried shit, all up and down my legs.
  6. >I had been with women before I came to Equestria and none of them had orgasms as messy as this.
  7. >It would be fine if I had cleaned myself afterwards, but... I didn't.
  8. >BANG
  9. >The door to my room was flung open and Spike walked in wearing a bright pink apron.
  10. >"Morning Anon! Breakfast is rea-- "
  11. >"..."
  12. >Shit.
  13. >The purple dragon's cheeks became flushed red as I scrambled to cover myself.
  14. >I threw a pillow at him.
  15. "Bucking knock next time, Spike!"
  16. >He backed out of the room, his little dragon dick peeking out from it's sheath.
  17. >So that's where he hid it.
  18. >I thought about what had just happened for a second.
  19. >Did I just... Turn him on?
  20. >As far as I knew, he was straight.
  21. >Or at least, the only creature he had shown any affection for was Rarity.
  22. >Never gonna happen, but it was hilarious to watch him try and woo her while she tried to let him down softly in her own way.
  23. >Which was by pretending she didn't notice his affection at all.
  24. >Whatever.
  25. >He had apparently cooked me breakfast, so he was alright on my account.
  26. >Besides the fact that he didn't knock.
  27. >I fucking hate people who don't knock.
  28. >I am the one who knocks.
  29. >Emphasis on the "one" bit.
  30. >No one in this town has any semblance of privacy.
  31. >I pulled myself out of bed and walked to the small en suite attached to the room.
  32. >I really noticed my height difference now.
  33. >I had to plop my hooves up on the bench to even see my face at all.
  34. >I tried to get a good look at myself in the mirror, but it didn't work.
  35. >I pulled my stool up and stood on it.
  36. >It was a bit of a balancing act, but you know.
  37. >I live life on the edge.
  38. >I washed my face, splashing the cool refreshing water on me when I remembered the reason why I was here in the first place.
  39. >Clean your legs, retard.
  40. >I hopped down and walked over to the shower, turning the nob.
  41. >Luckily this dried stuff washed out pretty easily, even when dried.
  42. >I'd still like to clean myself before it dried next time.
  43. >When I was done, I turned off the tap and walked out of the room.
  44. >When I got to the kitchen, Spike was nowhere to be seen, but the breakfast he made was waiting on the table.
  45. >Fucker better not be jacking off right now.
  46. >I heard some muffled voices through a nearby door.
  47. >I couldn't hear what they were saying, so I walked closer.
  48. >Pressing my ear up against the door, I heard a few fleeting muffled words.
  49. >"...and don't fuck it up this time, alright? I've had enough of you ruining every job we run, and this one is fucking huge."
  50. >"S-sorry, boss."
  51. >I heard a muffled rumble, like someone was rolling around on the floor.
  52. >"Mmmmff!"
  53. >Who was that?
  54. >"Shut him up!"
  55. >A loud thwack.
  56. >Silence.
  57. >Oh shit, someone was getting kidnapped!
  58. >I slammed open the door.
  59. >By which I mean I tried to slam open the door, but it was made of a heavy wood, so I just smacked into the door as it slowly creaked open.
  60. >Curse this weak body.
  61. >Inside, two griffons wearing black balaclavas stood above a seemingly unconscious Spike, tied up with rope and blind folded.
  62. "Stop right there!"
  63. >One of the griffons turned to the other and chuckled.
  64. >"Or what, kid?"
  65. >I puffed up my chest.
  66. >Crap. He was right.
  67. >Or what?
  68. >I couldn't do anything to stop them.
  69. >Griffons were just as strong as I was as a human, but there was no way I could do anything like this!
  70. >And there was /two/ of them.
  71. >"Yeah, I thought so. If you know what's good for ya, you'll pretend you never saw this."
  72. >The two griffons grabbed Spike by the legs and unceremoniously dragged him out the window with them.
  73. >I stood there, silent and un-moving.
  74. >Well, not exactly.
  75. >My legs were shaking.
  76. >I was absolutely terrified, and it had taken me that long to realize what I had been feeling.
  77. >What the hell?
  78. >I had never been scared by something before!
  79. >Well, sorry, that's a lie.
  80. >Nothing in Equestria.
  81. >I collapsed to the floor and began to cry.
  82. >Why?
  83. >Why was I acting like this?
  84. >I'd never acted like this before!
  85. >Bet it's this fucking stupid body.
  86. "S-s-stupid body. S-stupid Twilight!"
  87. >"What did I do wrong?"
  88. >I spun around.
  89. "Twilight!"
  90. >I ran to her and threw my hooves around her.
  91. >She froze up.
  92. >"G-Glass? What's wrong?"
  93. "Th-these g-g-griffons came in and th-they..."
  94. >My mind relived the last few moments.
  95. >"What did they do, Glass."
  96. "They took Spike!"
  97. >"What!?"
  98. >She pushed me away and ran into the other room.
  99. >She turned back to me, her face filled with rage.
  101. "I-I-I..."
  102. >Tears welled up in my eyes.
  103. >"Oh no."
  104. >She walked up to me, but I backed away.
  105. >I was feeling it again.
  106. >Fear.
  107. >Why?
  108. >"I'm sorry, Glass, this... This isn't your fault."
  109. >She approached me again and pulled me into a hug which I accepted.
  110. >"We'll... We'll figure this out."
  111. >I let my tears flow for the first time in my life.
  112. >I'd never let myself cry.
  113. >I always kept this masculine appearance, but I didn't even have a choice this time.
  114. >"I just don't get it. Who would want spike?"
  115. >I pulled away from the hug and wiped the tears from my face.
  116. >I thought about it for a second.
  117. >Who would want Spike?
  118. >And who would want to kidnap the number one assistant of the fucking princess?
  119. >Unless...
  120. >He was a dragon.
  121. >How many other dragons had I seen while in Equestria?
  122. >None.
  123. >Let alone a baby dragon.
  124. >He was rare.
  125. >And probably expensive.
  126. "Twilight... I think I know why they took Spike."
  127. >"You do?"
  128. "Do you know anything about rare animal trading in Equestria?"
  129. >"well, I know it's not common at all, but it does happen some time. What does that have to do with... Oh no. No no no!"
  130. "What are we gonna do?"
  131. >"Uh... We... Uh... Glass! I think I might need to hire you one more time."
  133. >There has to be something around here.
  134. >Something that they left behind...
  135. >There!
  136. >A small sheet of paper.
  137. >Well, more like a scrap.
  138. >I pulled up the magnifying glass that Twilight had lent me
  139. >Yes!
  140. >Looks like that Griffon had "Fucked up" again!
  141. >It was a matchbook for a bar.
  142. >I flicked it open, but there was nothing inside but matches.
  143. >No matter, I had a lead now.
  144. "Twilight, check this out!"
  145. >She walked over to me and took the matchbox with her magic.
  146. "Unless Spike has been going through a rebellious smoking phase, then this was left behind by those griffons."
  147. >"So what now?"
  148. "Well, we need to check out the bar. Do you recognize the name?"
  149. >"The... Spit Jar? I can't really say that I do..."
  150. >The Spit Jar...
  151. >I hadn't heard the name before, but It definitely wasn't in Ponyville.
  152. >There wasn't exactly google in this world, so I couldn't google where it was.
  153. >Maybe...
  154. "Twilight, is there a phonebook for any of the nearby cities?"
  155. >"Of course!"
  157. >Baltimare.
  158. >I got arrested last time I was here while on a job
  159. >It was a city filled with dirty streets and dirty ponies
  160. >No idea why anyone would want to live here.
  161. >Twilight and I disembarked from the train and made our way out of the station.
  162. >"Okay, Glass! I've got our itinerary planned out to the minute! At 1200, we will check into the Solid Stone Inn, at 1215, we'll have lunch! At 1300, we have-"
  163. "Twilight! You don't need to plan every second of our day!"
  164. >"Maybe not, but one day, you'll have needed a list and regret not making it!"
  165. "Sure. Got any place on that list for investigating?"
  166. >"Of course I do! But, uh... There's something we have to talk about."
  167. "What?"
  168. >"The place we're following this lead at is a bar, right?"
  169. "Yeah?"
  170. >"You're underage."
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