feeling like I'm always here...
doing a lot of nothing, and just existing.
feeling like everyone should die...
working on finding work, but fuck that.
feeling like I need to do something...
hearing a lot of noises and stuff...
trying to understand, I think I might be confused.
repressing the violent side of me...
thinking how hurt I am makes me think of you.

Wondering how low I am, remembering how alone I am…
Stuck on my own reflection. Still thinking about perfection.
Trying out this new thing… needing it badly…
Trying not to hurt myself… feels so sad…
Thinking how similar love and hate are…
Knowing I know nothing of either…
Forever like I’ve been there…
Like I’m the only one that cares…
Doesn’t matter how I get there…
When it happens no one will care.

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Wanting to disappear… to go where?
I wonder where you want to be…
Thinking about names a lot, do you remember who you are?
You don’t seem to understand anything.
I wonder if you knew I was here… all along.
~~``~~
I untied a knot I couldn’t before…
Was it the music or the magic or me?
Thinking knots were a language… maybe bubbles are too?
Wondering what the F I’m doing in my room…
Thinking yesterday of a reason why…
All these words… I don’t even need them.

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I'm shiny... wondering if you get it.
Struck with life not knowing if I hate it.
I'm not knowing if you said it.
I really only see if you made it.

I'm shiny... I know nothing.
I love what I see and that hurts.
Wondering if I'm real or the other thing.
Wanting something with a name.

I'm shiny... struck with lightning.
Against me, always and fighting.
I need you to tell me why...
The who, what, us, and I.

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