Loves Me, Loves Me Not (2019) EN

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Subtitles by explosiveskull
akumenang.com

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Loves me, Loves me not,
by Ali Silver.

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Once, I found a daisy
and I played a simple game.

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I picked off all the petals,
it didn't look the same.

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Loves me, loves me not.

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Was it really worth the sound

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to see all the little petals
like teardrops on the ground?

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Loves me not.

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Let me
get this door.

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Keep going, keep going, keep going, okay.

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Do you trust me?

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Yeah.

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Yeah?

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Okay, open your eyes.

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I must meet
your decorator.

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Uh...

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Might stain
your clothes, though.

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Well, we can't
have that, can we?

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No.

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Full moon tonight.

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Is that okay?

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Wouldn't miss it for the world.

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Aw.

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What's with the fake
beard and the crutches?

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Oh. Um...

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a buddy of mine needed a lift
to an audition the other day.

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- Oh.
- Left his stuff in my car in case he gets a call back.

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Oh.

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What is that on your windshield?

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I have no idea
how that got there.

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Aw.

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See you tonight?

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Hi,
you've reached Eva Silver.

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Tip for the day:
write the bad things

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that happen to you in sand,

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carve the good things
that happen to you

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on a slab of marble,

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and leave a message at the beep.

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Hi, Mom, it's me.

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How are you?
I was just calling to say hi,

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but I also wanted to tell you
that I spent another day

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with that guy
I was telling you about,

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and I think this one
is a keeper.

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I love you.

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Loves me.

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Loves me not.

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Loves me.

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Loves me not.

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Loves me.

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Loves me not.

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Loves me.

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Loves me not.

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Loves me.

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Loves me not.

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Loves me.

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Loves me not.

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Loves me.

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Loves me not.

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Give me the tennis bracelet.

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Loves me.

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Any one
in particular?

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All of them!
Let's go, all of them!

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Loves me not.

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Come on, all of them!

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Oh, shit, shit!

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Loves me.

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No. No, it's not...

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Loves me not.

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Loves me.

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Your name was
in his cell phone and photos

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that led me to believe
that you were his girlfriend.

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So I'm going to have to ask you
for whatever gifts he gave you

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to match them against police
reports of stolen items.

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Don't worry, you're not
going to get in any trouble.

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Also, you want
to check your credit cards,

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because he had
a rap sheet that included

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fraud and identity theft.

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I just wish life
would behave itself.

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And men.

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I don't have a rap sheet.

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Excuse me?

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You're sweet,
and you deserve better.

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Have you ever thought
about dating a police detective?

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You're asking me this now?

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I admit, it's
bad timing, but if,

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if I could have your number,

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after a couple of weeks,
maybe a cup of coffee?

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How do you know
I wasn't Bonnie to his Clyde?

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It's what I do for a living.

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Well, you already have my number

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on the cell phone,
and the pictures.

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I'll delete the ones
you're thinking of.

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Thanks.

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Babe, I got your 911
and came as fast

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- as I could.
- "Run, Forrest, Run Guy" is dead.

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- What?
- He got shot, 18 times, one shot missed.

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Holy fuck.

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I'm cursed.

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- You're not cursed.
- I ignore that little red flag voice

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because when we met
we were innocent kids.

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It felt like nine-year-old
Ali finally got a keeper.

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Come on, Ali.

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You find Brock
on Facebook and what?

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A month later you're going
through brides magazines?

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You were Phi Beta Kappa
and all that bull crapper.

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You should know how to navigate
this parade of men.

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Charade of men.

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You will do better, I know it.

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You're just
saying that to be nice.

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Does that
sound like me?

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Do you realize that there are
days I wish I was in your shoes?

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Mine?

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Yes, even though
you're a hot mess.

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My picker has just broken.

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You have freedom.

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I suppose.

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Thanks for not saying
I told you so.

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So you do remember?

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After the first time you met him you
said, "Run like he's a house on fire."

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But he wasn't a house on fire,

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he was more like
a candy store on fire.

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You know you should flee,
but it just...

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smells too good.

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Sorry, bestie.

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I love you, Veronica.

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So, I guess "Run, Forrest,
Run Guy" is "Dead Guy" now?

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Too soon?

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I'm sorry, come here.

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You got it.

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We were supposed
to be surfing tonight.

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I haven't discussed this before

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because, if I start
from the beginning,

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it'll take freaking forever.

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Remember, we're working
on naming our feelings,

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about our problem?

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Like we've done before
in single words.

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Humiliated.

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Unlovable.

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Worthless.

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Let's start with humiliated.

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It involves Dylan.

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Dylan from our group?

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We used to go out...

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00:11:07,142 --> 00:11:09,845
but I wouldn't go
all the way like the others.

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I'd let him do
everything else, but...

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then he stopped
hanging out with me and...

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told me I was a cock tease.

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Come to find out

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he's actually been
throwing shit on me

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about certain private parts.

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00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:28,130
Do you want to know
what he's been saying?

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00:11:28,163 --> 00:11:29,798
Only if you think
it's important.

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I want to say it.

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He's been telling people
that I have really long lips.

155
00:11:40,843 --> 00:11:41,844
Oh.

156
00:11:42,945 --> 00:11:44,280
They call me "Lily long lips."

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00:11:45,514 --> 00:11:48,851
I have no control
over what it looks like.

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00:11:48,884 --> 00:11:50,819
Of course not.

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00:11:50,853 --> 00:11:52,187
And it's bull anyway.

160
00:11:52,221 --> 00:11:54,423
We all come in different
shapes and sizes.

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00:11:54,456 --> 00:11:56,525
Seriously, there is
no right or wrong

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when it comes to private parts.

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00:12:00,129 --> 00:12:02,131
I read about
this operation online,

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00:12:02,164 --> 00:12:03,365
labiaplasty.

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00:12:04,466 --> 00:12:07,503
The important thing to think
about is to avoid anyone

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00:12:07,536 --> 00:12:09,438
who would shame you
over anything.

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00:12:12,408 --> 00:12:15,844
Do you want to know
the really messed up thing?

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00:12:16,646 --> 00:12:18,480
The thing I want most
to happen now.

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What is that?

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I want to fuck Dylan.

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And I want him to love it.

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00:12:28,490 --> 00:12:32,294
Many of us will pick
the worst ways to feel loved,

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desired, worthy.

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00:12:35,931 --> 00:12:37,566
Now, I want you to read
this out loud every day:

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"I love and accept myself.

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Where I am right now.

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I am safe."

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I want you to read it,

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00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,250
and practice believing it.

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00:12:57,019 --> 00:12:58,220
And I'll see you on Wednesday.

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You know, I wish I could be
just like you, Miss Silver.

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You really have
your act together.

183
00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:11,066
Thank you.

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00:13:16,405 --> 00:13:20,677
Meet the denizens of the Sandpiper
Apartment Complex in Malibu.

185
00:13:20,710 --> 00:13:24,980
Trust fund babies, models,
alcoholics, the lost people.

186
00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:29,251
Everyone looks toned, tanned,
and deceptively healthy.

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But I loved him,
he was so sweet.

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00:13:33,455 --> 00:13:35,324
Should have known
he wasn't a bond trader,

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he couldn't figure out
the tip at a restaurant.

190
00:13:37,627 --> 00:13:40,329
He figured out
how to max out your Visa.

191
00:13:40,362 --> 00:13:42,531
Fashion show!

192
00:13:42,564 --> 00:13:46,603
Watch out when an Iranian
and a Russian joined forces.

193
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Everyone, I've had an epiphany.

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From this day forward,
I am done with all men.

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00:13:54,243 --> 00:13:57,379
- You need a chick?
- I'd probably end up with a nightmare like you.

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Right.

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00:13:59,481 --> 00:14:01,618
I love you too,
my green-eyed angel.

198
00:14:01,651 --> 00:14:04,987
I'm serious, abstinence
from this day forward.

199
00:14:05,020 --> 00:14:06,221
There's a Persian saying.

200
00:14:06,255 --> 00:14:09,258
Of course there is.

201
00:14:09,291 --> 00:14:12,494
You don't quit drinking water
because a glass once broke.

202
00:14:12,528 --> 00:14:15,130
You already know what
I think: Mr. Nice Guy.

203
00:14:15,164 --> 00:14:16,565
Ugh, too nice.

204
00:14:16,599 --> 00:14:18,233
But I thought you said
he was good in bed?

205
00:14:18,267 --> 00:14:19,636
That was Stalker Guy number two,

206
00:14:19,669 --> 00:14:21,403
not buying that horse again.

207
00:14:21,437 --> 00:14:25,007
Nice Guy had sex with about
as much improvisation

208
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:28,243
as the formula
for the isosceles triangle.

209
00:14:28,277 --> 00:14:29,646
Will Finnegan begin again?

210
00:14:29,679 --> 00:14:31,346
I saw him in US Magazine,

211
00:14:31,380 --> 00:14:34,016
roundhouse kicking
his own father in the nuts.

212
00:14:34,049 --> 00:14:36,118
But I saw on TMZ
that he was clean and sober.

213
00:14:36,151 --> 00:14:39,087
I doubt that, all those years
in and out of rehab.

214
00:14:39,121 --> 00:14:41,323
Plus, you know how
shitty he treated me.

215
00:14:41,356 --> 00:14:42,257
Who is Finnegan?

216
00:14:42,291 --> 00:14:44,159
He devirginized Ali.

217
00:14:44,193 --> 00:14:47,095
You think that would be
vodka under the bridge by now.

218
00:14:47,129 --> 00:14:49,699
Some rotten experiences
you carry with you forever.

219
00:14:49,732 --> 00:14:50,999
Life is not fair.

220
00:14:51,033 --> 00:14:52,635
Women can fake orgasms,

221
00:14:52,669 --> 00:14:55,304
but men can fake love.

222
00:14:55,337 --> 00:14:56,773
- Poor me.
- Poor you.

223
00:14:56,806 --> 00:14:58,373
Pour her a drink.

224
00:14:58,407 --> 00:14:59,341
Mm.

225
00:15:03,345 --> 00:15:05,314
There goes another potato!

226
00:15:12,789 --> 00:15:14,022
Oh, shit.

227
00:15:14,056 --> 00:15:16,225
I'm not a narc, losers.

228
00:15:16,258 --> 00:15:18,460
We just assumed you
didn't want to participate.

229
00:15:18,494 --> 00:15:20,062
It's all right, dude,
you want a bump?

230
00:15:22,498 --> 00:15:24,233
- I'm good.
- I'm in.

231
00:15:24,266 --> 00:15:25,167
Me too.

232
00:15:26,201 --> 00:15:28,070
- Righty or lefty?
- Righty.

233
00:15:31,406 --> 00:15:33,208
There you go.

234
00:15:33,242 --> 00:15:34,142
Boom.

235
00:15:42,217 --> 00:15:44,052
Ali?

236
00:15:44,086 --> 00:15:46,623
Yes, trust fund baby whose
first words were room service?

237
00:15:47,556 --> 00:15:50,693
Stop bottom beating.
Give Mr. Nice Guy another shot.

238
00:15:50,727 --> 00:15:52,528
Have you been banging him?

239
00:15:52,561 --> 00:15:55,564
Not since I've
been seeing Dead Guy.

240
00:15:55,598 --> 00:15:58,233
- Rest in peace.
- Wake up, Ali.

241
00:15:58,267 --> 00:16:00,737
You're running out of runway,
and he's Nice Guy.

242
00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:09,111
When I forage for my food,

243
00:16:09,144 --> 00:16:11,648
it allows me to focus
on flavor and ideas.

244
00:16:13,282 --> 00:16:16,084
To reconnect into the world
that existed before we got...

245
00:16:17,820 --> 00:16:19,087
little too fast.

246
00:16:20,623 --> 00:16:22,625
In a really superficial world,

247
00:16:22,659 --> 00:16:24,794
it's hard to get
something that is real.

248
00:16:24,827 --> 00:16:27,362
So Instagramable.

249
00:16:27,396 --> 00:16:29,264
Can't have that level
of uniqueness of flavor

250
00:16:29,298 --> 00:16:31,466
unless you diversify
what you're using.

251
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,235
Um, I'm all for diversity.

252
00:16:36,138 --> 00:16:37,640
Um...

253
00:16:37,674 --> 00:16:39,508
Get out, so good!

254
00:16:40,777 --> 00:16:42,077
Um!

255
00:16:44,479 --> 00:16:45,648
- Want more?
- Yeah.

256
00:16:54,924 --> 00:16:57,392
Ali, I'm not sure
why you shut me out,

257
00:16:57,426 --> 00:16:59,328
but I really missed you.

258
00:17:00,663 --> 00:17:03,700
I missed you too,
I'm glad I called.

259
00:17:03,733 --> 00:17:04,867
How about you move in with me?

260
00:17:05,902 --> 00:17:07,569
Whoa, no way.

261
00:17:07,604 --> 00:17:09,137
I know, I know it's fast,

262
00:17:09,171 --> 00:17:10,740
but you would love it here.

263
00:17:12,207 --> 00:17:15,210
Right from the first time we met
at that foster home fundraiser,

264
00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:18,146
you said that being a mom
was your greatest hope.

265
00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:20,783
My specific hope
was to be a parent

266
00:17:20,817 --> 00:17:22,919
to a child who needed a home.

267
00:17:22,952 --> 00:17:24,754
I figured
if you're okay to fostering

268
00:17:24,787 --> 00:17:26,555
you'd be open to the whole...

269
00:17:26,589 --> 00:17:28,190
nuclear thing as well.

270
00:17:28,223 --> 00:17:29,524
I think we're
getting ahead of ourselves.

271
00:17:29,558 --> 00:17:31,894
Cart before the horse
and all that.

272
00:17:31,928 --> 00:17:33,696
Listen, if you
didn't like living here,

273
00:17:33,730 --> 00:17:35,765
you could always leave.
No drama.

274
00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:39,534
Baby...

275
00:17:41,203 --> 00:17:42,337
when it comes to you...

276
00:17:43,940 --> 00:17:44,841
I'm all in.

277
00:17:48,611 --> 00:17:51,714
So what do you say
we get all in the pool?

278
00:17:52,715 --> 00:17:53,916
Charming segue.

279
00:17:55,517 --> 00:17:58,186
- It's beckoning.
- Oh, is it now?

280
00:18:15,805 --> 00:18:17,272
I have a surprise for you.

281
00:18:18,373 --> 00:18:20,242
Something that
I hope will turn you on.

282
00:18:22,612 --> 00:18:25,247
I always thought that maybe
you felt I was uptight in bed.

283
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:26,916
No, Jake, not at all.

284
00:18:28,584 --> 00:18:30,419
It mean we need to be
more adventurous together.

285
00:18:32,354 --> 00:18:34,389
Meaning?

286
00:18:34,423 --> 00:18:36,759
Uh, I think it's time
to explore our fantasies a bit.

287
00:18:38,695 --> 00:18:40,328
I asked someone to come over.

288
00:18:41,396 --> 00:18:43,700
There is no romantic connection,

289
00:18:43,733 --> 00:18:45,467
so, if you're interested...

290
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:47,704
Well, aren't you
the unpredictable one?

291
00:18:50,539 --> 00:18:53,910
When the hedges get trimmed,
the tree stands taller.

292
00:19:04,587 --> 00:19:05,988
And here she is right now.

293
00:19:06,022 --> 00:19:08,390
Ali, this is Jazmine.
Jazmine, Ali.

294
00:19:08,423 --> 00:19:09,524
My pleasure.

295
00:19:09,558 --> 00:19:11,493
Hi. Hi there.

296
00:19:14,496 --> 00:19:17,232
Why don't you, uh,
join us in the water?

297
00:19:33,683 --> 00:19:35,685
And there it is.

298
00:19:35,718 --> 00:19:37,787
You did say you're all
for diversity.

299
00:19:54,604 --> 00:19:55,872
Hey.

300
00:19:55,905 --> 00:19:57,707
I'm so sorry,
I should've told you

301
00:19:57,740 --> 00:19:58,808
before I sprang that on you.

302
00:19:59,776 --> 00:20:01,978
- You think?
- I wanted to be real with you.

303
00:20:02,879 --> 00:20:04,546
Doesn't mean I'm gay.

304
00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:06,015
Not that there is
anything wrong with it.

305
00:20:06,048 --> 00:20:08,383
I just think I need
some time to wrap

306
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,887
- my head around this.
- Don't let this change things between us.

307
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,623
Uh, I got another call, I got to bounce.

308
00:20:13,656 --> 00:20:15,892
Hey, will you still
think about moving in...

309
00:20:15,925 --> 00:20:18,393
Ah, shit.

310
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:20,328
- Hello?
- Hi.

311
00:20:20,362 --> 00:20:21,496
This is Chris Perley.

312
00:20:22,932 --> 00:20:25,768
Detective Perley, from the,
from the whole shooting thing.

313
00:20:25,802 --> 00:20:28,403
You said that
I could give you a call.

314
00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:29,404
Is this a bad time?

315
00:20:31,506 --> 00:20:33,776
Eight-year-old
Margaret needs the stability

316
00:20:33,810 --> 00:20:36,012
and love of a forever family.

317
00:20:36,045 --> 00:20:39,782
In today's Foster Friday's,
we meet this resilient girl.

318
00:20:44,954 --> 00:20:45,988
Dylan.

319
00:20:46,889 --> 00:20:48,891
- Hi, Miss Silver.
- Hi.

320
00:20:48,925 --> 00:20:51,560
I just wanted to make sure
you were handling this well.

321
00:20:51,594 --> 00:20:52,662
What?

322
00:20:52,695 --> 00:20:54,730
You know, the talk.

323
00:20:54,764 --> 00:20:56,032
It can be hard
hearing about things

324
00:20:56,065 --> 00:20:57,566
that are beyond your control.

325
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:58,801
What are
you talking about?

326
00:20:59,936 --> 00:21:03,673
That they're calling anything
unusually small a "Dylan dick."

327
00:21:04,707 --> 00:21:06,508
High schoolers can be so mean.

328
00:21:06,541 --> 00:21:08,778
If you want to talk about it,
my door is always open.

329
00:21:40,109 --> 00:21:42,011
Miss Silver.

330
00:21:42,044 --> 00:21:43,913
Finnegan.

331
00:21:43,946 --> 00:21:45,547
I knew you'd still be in Malibu.

332
00:21:46,883 --> 00:21:49,051
You don't look
surprised or pleased.

333
00:21:50,052 --> 00:21:51,988
Uh. It's...

334
00:21:52,922 --> 00:21:54,422
- Can I come in?
- Uh.

335
00:21:56,592 --> 00:21:57,860
- Please?
- Uh.

336
00:22:02,198 --> 00:22:04,532
They let you
have animals in rehab?

337
00:22:05,835 --> 00:22:07,870
I'm in outpatient
sober living now.

338
00:22:08,804 --> 00:22:09,839
The dog is for you.

339
00:22:09,872 --> 00:22:11,040
I'm allergic.

340
00:22:11,073 --> 00:22:13,441
Oh, uh, oh.

341
00:22:13,475 --> 00:22:15,443
I guess I'll keep him
for myself.

342
00:22:15,477 --> 00:22:16,178
Um.

343
00:22:18,648 --> 00:22:21,017
So, uh, maybe you read

344
00:22:21,050 --> 00:22:22,785
that my dad and me
were in jail together,

345
00:22:23,853 --> 00:22:25,121
for assaulting each other.

346
00:22:25,154 --> 00:22:26,622
I may have seen
something about it

347
00:22:26,656 --> 00:22:27,957
in the rags
at the checkout line.

348
00:22:27,990 --> 00:22:29,725
What a perfect
Shanksgiving that was.

349
00:22:32,261 --> 00:22:34,462
That is when you spend
Thanksgiving behind bars.

350
00:22:35,197 --> 00:22:36,866
- Good to know.
- Yeah.

351
00:22:38,267 --> 00:22:40,036
Ali, uh...

352
00:22:41,536 --> 00:22:44,106
this is the longest
that I've been sober.

353
00:22:44,140 --> 00:22:45,741
I've gone through
most of the steps

354
00:22:45,775 --> 00:22:48,144
and you are on my amends list.

355
00:22:48,177 --> 00:22:49,645
About time.

356
00:22:49,679 --> 00:22:51,147
Why do so many of my exes

357
00:22:51,180 --> 00:22:53,182
wind up in rehab,
but never make amends to me?

358
00:22:53,215 --> 00:22:54,984
I'm trying to now.

359
00:22:55,017 --> 00:22:56,585
I saw the dog and some old guy

360
00:22:56,619 --> 00:22:58,087
was giving him away
across the street.

361
00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:00,555
I figured, that was a sign

362
00:23:00,589 --> 00:23:02,725
to tell you that
I'm really sorry.

363
00:23:02,758 --> 00:23:04,760
Aren't you supposed to take into
account that it might hurt me more

364
00:23:04,794 --> 00:23:06,128
to have to deal with you again?

365
00:23:06,162 --> 00:23:07,663
I'm pretty sure
it won't go like that.

366
00:23:08,764 --> 00:23:12,101
Listen, I have thought
about this for many years,

367
00:23:12,134 --> 00:23:14,170
and stayed away since
I was a mess for so long.

368
00:23:15,204 --> 00:23:17,974
I was an idiot back then.
Be glad I disappeared.

369
00:23:18,007 --> 00:23:19,875
Just because it was
a long time ago

370
00:23:19,909 --> 00:23:21,677
doesn't mean I forgot.

371
00:23:21,711 --> 00:23:25,247
You slept with me
knowing that I loved you,

372
00:23:25,281 --> 00:23:27,183
and left me waiting
for the call that never came.

373
00:23:28,317 --> 00:23:30,720
You simply vanished
like a guilty thought.

374
00:23:30,753 --> 00:23:34,123
- I didn't mean it like that.
- No, even that dog knows the difference between

375
00:23:34,156 --> 00:23:35,958
being stumbled over
and being kicked.

376
00:23:35,992 --> 00:23:38,194
I want to make it up to you.
I really do.

377
00:23:38,227 --> 00:23:39,895
Can you give me
my virginity back?

378
00:23:41,130 --> 00:23:44,300
Let me set things right. Please.

379
00:23:44,333 --> 00:23:48,137
At least let me try to help you
understand the why of it all.

380
00:23:48,170 --> 00:23:49,839
God willing, you'll, uh...

381
00:23:51,107 --> 00:23:52,808
give me a second chance.

382
00:23:52,842 --> 00:23:54,542
The last guy I gave
a second chance to

383
00:23:54,577 --> 00:23:56,746
ended up like Tony Montana.

384
00:23:56,779 --> 00:23:58,080
"Say hello to my little friend."

385
00:23:59,315 --> 00:24:01,684
You were always good
at imitating other characters,

386
00:24:01,717 --> 00:24:04,086
how are you doing
at being yourself?

387
00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:04,954
Ali.

388
00:24:07,089 --> 00:24:09,191
Is it really
a dog allergy or is it me?

389
00:24:11,327 --> 00:24:12,895
We'll see.

390
00:24:12,928 --> 00:24:14,897
You can call me
on my school line,

391
00:24:14,930 --> 00:24:17,133
and no stalking.

392
00:24:17,166 --> 00:24:20,302
Oh, uh, that, that is
good enough for me.

393
00:24:20,336 --> 00:24:21,971
- Bye for now. Bye.
- Bye.

394
00:24:24,306 --> 00:24:26,075
You checking me out?

395
00:24:26,108 --> 00:24:28,711
You may have changed, but you're
still full of yourself.

396
00:24:28,744 --> 00:24:30,246
Or full of something.

397
00:24:30,279 --> 00:24:31,814
I'll take that as a yes.

398
00:24:31,847 --> 00:24:33,582
Bye.

399
00:24:33,616 --> 00:24:35,651
And now he wants to take
you out to spread his bullshit

400
00:24:35,684 --> 00:24:37,887
as if it's the peanut butter
choosy mothers choose.

401
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:40,723
And you'll fall for it,
hook, line and sinker.

402
00:24:40,756 --> 00:24:43,359
I do have a sweet tooth
for second chances.

403
00:24:43,392 --> 00:24:45,327
And third, and fourth.

404
00:24:45,361 --> 00:24:47,196
You've been on this merry-go-round
too many times, Ali.

405
00:24:47,229 --> 00:24:48,998
So what would you
have me tell him?

406
00:24:49,031 --> 00:24:51,267
I'd say what Clark Gable
never quite said:

407
00:24:51,300 --> 00:24:53,602
"Frankly, my duck,
I don't give a fuck."

408
00:24:53,636 --> 00:24:54,904
And ghost that douche nozzle.

409
00:24:54,937 --> 00:24:57,807
We were both only 16.

410
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,843
Needless to say I didn't write
about it in the virginity box.

411
00:25:00,876 --> 00:25:03,379
But, maybe I could use
some closure.

412
00:25:03,412 --> 00:25:04,613
Maybe that'll work.

413
00:25:04,647 --> 00:25:06,782
Damn, I forgot about that.

414
00:25:06,816 --> 00:25:08,918
- What?
- Our virginity box.

415
00:25:08,951 --> 00:25:11,754
Oh, yeah! We painted
cherries all over it,

416
00:25:11,787 --> 00:25:13,823
and promised when either
one of us lost our cherry...

417
00:25:13,856 --> 00:25:15,257
We'd leave
a note in the box!

418
00:25:16,859 --> 00:25:18,861
I think I know
where it is.

419
00:25:18,894 --> 00:25:21,130
I can't believe you
still had it squared away.

420
00:25:23,299 --> 00:25:24,800
Now that is some dusty weed.

421
00:25:24,834 --> 00:25:27,336
Swiped from my mom's
secret stash.

422
00:25:27,369 --> 00:25:29,939
I can't believe we didn't
smoke or drink this all.

423
00:25:29,972 --> 00:25:32,041
No, we were saving some
in case of an earthquake

424
00:25:32,074 --> 00:25:33,409
or a nuclear fallout.

425
00:25:33,442 --> 00:25:35,277
Remember the first time
we got wasted?

426
00:25:35,311 --> 00:25:38,180
- It was like, 14, I think.
- Thirteen.

427
00:25:38,214 --> 00:25:40,916
Oh, and we tried to roll
a joint with a tampon wrapper.

428
00:25:40,950 --> 00:25:43,419
And you had this bright idea
of using notebook paper.

429
00:25:43,452 --> 00:25:45,321
Fuck off, that was your idea.

430
00:25:45,354 --> 00:25:47,857
"Qualities of a devirginizer."

431
00:25:47,890 --> 00:25:50,326
He must be hilarious.

432
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:52,828
- Oh, ride gnarly waves.
- Love movies.

433
00:25:52,862 --> 00:25:53,996
Be humble.

434
00:25:54,029 --> 00:25:56,065
Wear boxers.

435
00:25:57,133 --> 00:25:58,367
Great dancer.

436
00:25:58,400 --> 00:25:59,835
Luscious lips.

437
00:26:01,003 --> 00:26:05,975
He must not be embarrassed
to make valentines with us.

438
00:26:06,008 --> 00:26:08,644
- Be a Scorpio.
- Be a Taurus.

439
00:26:09,879 --> 00:26:10,913
Um, look at this.

440
00:26:11,847 --> 00:26:14,216
And they lived
happily ever after.

441
00:26:15,151 --> 00:26:16,752
Now there is
some wishful thinking.

442
00:26:18,154 --> 00:26:21,123
- And the dog?
- Turns out he has leukemia.

443
00:26:21,157 --> 00:26:22,958
Started to take him
to chemo twice a week.

444
00:26:24,059 --> 00:26:25,828
There is a reason
he ended up in my hands,

445
00:26:25,861 --> 00:26:26,962
so I could take care of him.

446
00:26:27,930 --> 00:26:29,732
I really am allergic.

447
00:26:29,765 --> 00:26:30,666
Mm-hmm.

448
00:26:31,767 --> 00:26:33,936
So, do you like this place?

449
00:26:34,870 --> 00:26:38,807
It's just like the surf shop
we used to hang out on the PCH.

450
00:26:40,075 --> 00:26:41,777
Good times.

451
00:26:41,810 --> 00:26:43,145
I own it.

452
00:26:43,179 --> 00:26:44,813
Get out!

453
00:26:44,847 --> 00:26:46,715
My crew thinks that
I should put up posters

454
00:26:46,749 --> 00:26:49,051
of my father rocking
out on stage or something.

455
00:26:50,186 --> 00:26:51,453
The old school surfers
would love it,

456
00:26:51,487 --> 00:26:53,255
but I wanted this
to be the one thing

457
00:26:53,289 --> 00:26:55,090
that I did without
his shadow over it.

458
00:26:55,124 --> 00:26:56,825
So, I used the money
from that train wreck

459
00:26:56,859 --> 00:26:58,260
reality show to buy this place.

460
00:26:59,261 --> 00:27:00,296
None of it was his money.

461
00:27:03,232 --> 00:27:06,001
We used to talk about owning
a place like this one day.

462
00:27:06,035 --> 00:27:06,936
We did?

463
00:27:08,137 --> 00:27:09,972
Ali, I can't remember
all the things

464
00:27:10,005 --> 00:27:11,740
that I did to hurt you.

465
00:27:11,774 --> 00:27:13,509
A, you were
so coked up after prom

466
00:27:13,542 --> 00:27:15,811
you couldn't keep it
hard enough to finish.

467
00:27:15,844 --> 00:27:17,279
Then maybe it doesn't count.

468
00:27:17,313 --> 00:27:18,380
You made me bleed.

469
00:27:19,915 --> 00:27:21,383
It counts.

470
00:27:21,417 --> 00:27:23,452
And you lied to me
that it was your first time,

471
00:27:23,485 --> 00:27:25,821
but then I found out
about your devirginizing spree

472
00:27:25,854 --> 00:27:27,823
and that I was
just number whatever.

473
00:27:27,856 --> 00:27:28,958
I wished you were my first.

474
00:27:30,059 --> 00:27:32,394
Not some random who
really wanted to screw my dad.

475
00:27:33,462 --> 00:27:36,031
I was a consolation prize,
but good enough so that she could boast

476
00:27:36,065 --> 00:27:38,000
that she got it on
with the son of a rock god.

477
00:27:38,033 --> 00:27:38,968
I was 13.

478
00:27:40,903 --> 00:27:43,772
Ali, I went through all those women
knowing that you were different.

479
00:27:43,806 --> 00:27:45,507
That you were like an angel,
way too good for me.

480
00:27:45,541 --> 00:27:47,943
- Hardly an angel.
- Well, I made a pact with myself

481
00:27:47,977 --> 00:27:49,178
to stay far away to protect you.

482
00:27:51,013 --> 00:27:54,316
I have no excuses,
but I have my reasons.

483
00:27:54,350 --> 00:27:57,152
Did you have a reason
that you left me right after?

484
00:27:57,186 --> 00:27:58,320
Not a word.

485
00:27:59,822 --> 00:28:01,123
Where the hell
did you go, anyway?

486
00:28:03,092 --> 00:28:04,026
I went to a dealer.

487
00:28:05,127 --> 00:28:06,562
My father's dealer, actually,

488
00:28:06,596 --> 00:28:08,497
and the three of us
smoked crack all night.

489
00:28:09,498 --> 00:28:11,133
The start of a week-long bender.

490
00:28:12,468 --> 00:28:14,169
You chose drugs over me.

491
00:28:14,203 --> 00:28:17,239
Back then, and for many years,

492
00:28:17,273 --> 00:28:19,341
I would choose drugs
over anything.

493
00:28:20,976 --> 00:28:22,344
But not anymore?

494
00:28:22,378 --> 00:28:25,080
No, no, no, no.

495
00:28:25,114 --> 00:28:26,548
I'm alive.

496
00:28:26,583 --> 00:28:28,017
And I'm glad to be right here.

497
00:28:29,551 --> 00:28:30,452
Me too.

498
00:28:31,621 --> 00:28:33,355
I loved you then, Ali.

499
00:28:33,389 --> 00:28:35,524
I messed up
and I haven't forgotten it.

500
00:28:36,992 --> 00:28:38,360
I'm not asking
for your forgiveness,

501
00:28:38,394 --> 00:28:39,461
but maybe someday...

502
00:28:41,163 --> 00:28:44,199
Well, I admit, I,
I've been selfish

503
00:28:44,233 --> 00:28:46,235
to make assumptions
about your life

504
00:28:46,268 --> 00:28:50,239
and been blaming you
for all the loser men in mine,

505
00:28:50,272 --> 00:28:53,042
even though I've heard about
your troubles in the tabloids,

506
00:28:53,075 --> 00:28:55,477
and reading
your brother's memoir.

507
00:28:55,511 --> 00:28:58,180
Well, that gave you some idea of
the shit show that I went through.

508
00:29:00,149 --> 00:29:01,216
What do you say to a truce?

509
00:29:06,055 --> 00:29:07,556
Sounds good.

510
00:29:07,590 --> 00:29:10,125
Better yet, how about a do-over?

511
00:29:11,460 --> 00:29:13,128
Did you do
your homework, Billy?

512
00:29:14,930 --> 00:29:18,233
"Fears of a teen with
sitophobia and numerophobia."

513
00:29:18,267 --> 00:29:20,002
You got the names down pat.

514
00:29:20,035 --> 00:29:21,638
Yeah, I remember sitophobia

515
00:29:21,671 --> 00:29:24,039
because it sounds
like shitaphobia,

516
00:29:24,073 --> 00:29:27,309
- without the H.
- Okay, go on.

517
00:29:27,343 --> 00:29:29,445
"All of my fears come
down to the same thing:

518
00:29:29,478 --> 00:29:31,013
If I don't do things my way,

519
00:29:31,046 --> 00:29:32,649
then something
dreadful will happen.

520
00:29:32,682 --> 00:29:35,384
If the TV volume
isn't an odd number,

521
00:29:35,417 --> 00:29:38,153
then something terrible will happen.
If the TV channel isn't odd,

522
00:29:38,187 --> 00:29:40,189
then something terrible
will happen."

523
00:29:40,222 --> 00:29:41,624
So much for watching
Bojack Horseman.

524
00:29:42,524 --> 00:29:45,294
"If I choose a candy
from your box of them,

525
00:29:45,327 --> 00:29:47,262
then it has to be three candies
over and three down.

526
00:29:48,263 --> 00:29:50,132
Or I'll get a dreadful disease."

527
00:29:50,165 --> 00:29:51,533
You know what, Billy?

528
00:29:51,567 --> 00:29:53,502
Thoughts are just thoughts,
not threats.

529
00:29:55,337 --> 00:29:58,907
I, I can't go back on the meds.

530
00:29:58,941 --> 00:30:00,242
I already told my psychiatrist,

531
00:30:00,275 --> 00:30:01,644
they make me feel dopey all day.

532
00:30:01,678 --> 00:30:04,980
Okay, you know what?
Let's talk progress.

533
00:30:05,013 --> 00:30:06,315
Like the exposure therapy.

534
00:30:07,950 --> 00:30:09,084
Well, my mom couldn't believe

535
00:30:09,118 --> 00:30:11,086
that I only put my clothes

536
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,355
in the washer once
instead of three or five times.

537
00:30:13,389 --> 00:30:14,624
See?

538
00:30:14,657 --> 00:30:16,325
That's terrific.

539
00:30:16,358 --> 00:30:17,594
You know, I think
you're ready for this one,

540
00:30:17,627 --> 00:30:19,194
otherwise I wouldn't offer it.

541
00:30:26,468 --> 00:30:28,270
One, two, three,
one, two, three.

542
00:30:29,571 --> 00:30:30,572
I, I'm not hungry.

543
00:30:30,607 --> 00:30:32,241
- Billy.
- No.

544
00:30:32,274 --> 00:30:34,677
My friend Veronica
makes these chocolates.

545
00:30:34,711 --> 00:30:36,311
I've seen her little factory,

546
00:30:36,345 --> 00:30:39,014
it's so clean,
you could eat off the floor.

547
00:30:39,047 --> 00:30:40,983
- Ali.
- Okay, okay, maybe you wouldn't,

548
00:30:41,016 --> 00:30:42,551
but let me just tell
you something, these chocolates

549
00:30:42,585 --> 00:30:44,420
are not going to
give you a disease.

550
00:30:44,453 --> 00:30:46,321
I can promise you that.
And you want to know what?

551
00:30:46,355 --> 00:30:48,490
They're really delicious.

552
00:30:48,524 --> 00:30:51,560
You can do it,
just close your eyes,

553
00:30:51,594 --> 00:30:54,029
anchor your positive thoughts,

554
00:30:54,062 --> 00:30:55,998
and pick a random piece.

555
00:31:19,589 --> 00:31:21,490
I bet I know what this is.

556
00:31:23,025 --> 00:31:25,160
Two free tickets
to that deprivation tank

557
00:31:25,194 --> 00:31:26,596
I was telling you about.

558
00:31:26,629 --> 00:31:29,264
- You should come with me.
- Oh, I'm claustrophobic.

559
00:31:29,298 --> 00:31:32,067
Two hours floating
in water in total blackness?

560
00:31:32,100 --> 00:31:34,269
It's also in blackness
that we see the light.

561
00:31:35,270 --> 00:31:38,373
Is that one of those
wise Persian sayings?

562
00:31:38,407 --> 00:31:39,308
Think about it.

563
00:31:48,283 --> 00:31:49,652
My lady.

564
00:31:49,686 --> 00:31:51,520
I see you wore
your best bib and tucker.

565
00:31:52,488 --> 00:31:55,524
And you look like a waiter
in a 1980's luau.

566
00:31:58,160 --> 00:31:59,328
Our carriage awaits.

567
00:32:03,432 --> 00:32:05,267
We're making
such an effort to find out

568
00:32:05,300 --> 00:32:07,670
if there's intelligent life
out there on other planets,

569
00:32:07,704 --> 00:32:10,272
but did we ever think that,
if it existed,

570
00:32:10,305 --> 00:32:12,140
they would be doing
the same thing?

571
00:32:12,174 --> 00:32:14,611
Trying to find us.
Think about it.

572
00:32:14,644 --> 00:32:16,779
The most important evidence
that we're alone,

573
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:19,481
is that we are alone.

574
00:32:26,154 --> 00:32:28,190
We should go to church sometime.

575
00:32:28,223 --> 00:32:30,125
You do know I'm Jewish.

576
00:32:30,158 --> 00:32:32,327
Only half,
your mom is Christian.

577
00:32:32,361 --> 00:32:35,464
She married four Jewish guys,
Jewish by injection.

578
00:32:37,132 --> 00:32:38,367
Sorry, that was crass.

579
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:39,669
You'll, you'll figure it out.

580
00:32:42,104 --> 00:32:43,539
Well, how about this Sunday?

581
00:32:43,572 --> 00:32:45,507
There is a potluck
and there is a band, and...

582
00:32:45,541 --> 00:32:47,543
You don't
have to try so hard.

583
00:32:49,278 --> 00:32:51,146
I'm sorry, I'm not used
to doing this sober.

584
00:32:52,147 --> 00:32:55,818
I'm just worried. Driver, turn this
thing around and let's get home and...

585
00:32:55,852 --> 00:32:57,754
Do you know why
we have this spot here?

586
00:32:58,855 --> 00:33:00,623
This indentation.

587
00:33:00,657 --> 00:33:02,524
Tell me.

588
00:33:02,558 --> 00:33:04,727
I was at this meditation retreat
and there was a shaman there.

589
00:33:04,761 --> 00:33:07,229
You believe in that stuff?

590
00:33:07,262 --> 00:33:08,263
I'm always searching.

591
00:33:09,431 --> 00:33:11,801
So, he was talking about angels
and I couldn't relate,

592
00:33:11,834 --> 00:33:14,303
so he said this thing
that rang true to me.

593
00:33:14,336 --> 00:33:17,674
He said, "Before we come
into this world as a baby,

594
00:33:17,707 --> 00:33:19,341
we already know everything

595
00:33:19,374 --> 00:33:21,543
about our past,
present and future.

596
00:33:22,812 --> 00:33:26,583
But, at the exact
moment of birth,

597
00:33:26,616 --> 00:33:30,319
an angel comes down
and goes: 'Shh...'

598
00:33:31,588 --> 00:33:33,155
So we spend our whole lives

599
00:33:33,188 --> 00:33:35,090
trying to remember
what we already know."

600
00:33:39,227 --> 00:33:41,129
Finn, you made your mark on me.

601
00:33:42,765 --> 00:33:43,666
Permanent.

602
00:33:44,634 --> 00:33:45,635
Like a tattoo.

603
00:33:46,568 --> 00:33:50,339
Bad tattoo, but hey, we were 16.

604
00:33:52,609 --> 00:33:54,543
And I'm ready for our do-over.

605
00:35:33,508 --> 00:35:34,677
I have a condom.

606
00:35:36,445 --> 00:35:37,680
We don't need it.

607
00:35:37,714 --> 00:35:39,314
Oh, I insist.

608
00:35:41,751 --> 00:35:45,655
We can mess around,
but not all the way.

609
00:35:46,789 --> 00:35:48,591
Okay.

610
00:35:48,624 --> 00:35:49,558
Why not?

611
00:35:53,996 --> 00:35:55,198
When I hit bottom...

612
00:35:56,565 --> 00:35:57,700
I found Jesus.

613
00:35:59,736 --> 00:36:01,938
Was he playing hide and seek?

614
00:36:03,973 --> 00:36:06,776
He came to me, he spoke to me.

615
00:36:06,809 --> 00:36:10,545
Oh. Eight billion people
and he spoke to you?

616
00:36:10,580 --> 00:36:11,714
He speaks to many.

617
00:36:13,916 --> 00:36:15,818
He showed me the way
and it's the path I've taken.

618
00:36:17,419 --> 00:36:18,386
I'm celibate.

619
00:36:19,521 --> 00:36:22,592
As in "you'll sell-a-bit"
and give the rest for free?

620
00:36:23,793 --> 00:36:24,694
I mean it.

621
00:36:26,528 --> 00:36:28,530
I know this is weird
coming from me.

622
00:36:31,868 --> 00:36:32,802
Finn?

623
00:36:34,369 --> 00:36:36,471
You said this was our do-over,

624
00:36:36,505 --> 00:36:39,776
like as in you'd make love to me

625
00:36:39,809 --> 00:36:42,477
on high thread count linens.

626
00:36:42,511 --> 00:36:44,046
As in you wouldn't
kick me to the curb.

627
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:45,882
As in you wouldn't
disappear without a trace.

628
00:36:45,915 --> 00:36:47,516
I don't want to disappear.

629
00:36:48,584 --> 00:36:51,621
Ali, we definitely
have a connection.

630
00:36:51,654 --> 00:36:53,522
We could start
going to church together.

631
00:36:53,555 --> 00:36:55,457
There is a lot of cool
born-again couples.

632
00:36:55,490 --> 00:36:58,928
Two weeks ago, I suddenly found
myself speaking in tongues.

633
00:37:04,734 --> 00:37:06,669
We can still be naked.

634
00:37:07,703 --> 00:37:09,071
I'll even go down on you.

635
00:37:09,105 --> 00:37:11,107
Oh, how generous.

636
00:37:11,140 --> 00:37:14,543
I just can't go further
until you're truly committed.

637
00:37:14,577 --> 00:37:17,914
- To?
- Accepting Jesus Christ as your lord and savior.

638
00:37:19,414 --> 00:37:22,450
Sex is only for married couples
to create babies.

639
00:37:22,484 --> 00:37:24,620
I want us to go
to heaven together,

640
00:37:24,654 --> 00:37:25,888
but I'm worried about you.

641
00:37:25,922 --> 00:37:27,455
About me?

642
00:37:27,489 --> 00:37:29,725
Hanging out with sinners.

643
00:37:29,759 --> 00:37:32,028
Didn't Jesus hang out
with a prostitute?

644
00:37:33,029 --> 00:37:34,764
Hell is real.

645
00:37:34,797 --> 00:37:37,633
Ali, you can't compromise God,
it's in Revelation.

646
00:37:37,667 --> 00:37:39,735
God said, "Because you're
neither hot nor cold,

647
00:37:39,769 --> 00:37:40,903
I spit you out of my mouth."

648
00:37:44,974 --> 00:37:47,944
I don't want you to end up
in eternal damnation.

649
00:38:33,488 --> 00:38:38,060
Friends, lovers, losers,
lend me your ears.

650
00:38:38,094 --> 00:38:40,963
I come not to praise men,
but to bury them.

651
00:38:40,997 --> 00:38:43,465
New name for Finnegan, anybody?

652
00:38:43,498 --> 00:38:45,001
"Jesus of Malibu."

653
00:38:45,034 --> 00:38:47,603
- "Born again Finnegan."
- "Christ on a soft core."

654
00:38:47,637 --> 00:38:50,538
Oh, oh, Finnegan
won't put it in again.

655
00:38:52,775 --> 00:38:53,976
Yeah, wait, wait, wait.

656
00:38:54,010 --> 00:38:55,945
I have something to praise to.

657
00:38:55,978 --> 00:38:59,481
Guess who has
the best dick in Malibu?

658
00:39:01,083 --> 00:39:02,885
Ali's brother, John!

659
00:39:02,919 --> 00:39:04,519
No!

660
00:39:04,552 --> 00:39:05,955
You didn't, oh.

661
00:39:05,988 --> 00:39:08,024
I gave him a grain job.

662
00:39:08,057 --> 00:39:09,524
What is a grain job?

663
00:39:09,557 --> 00:39:12,161
A blow job in a hybrid.

664
00:39:12,194 --> 00:39:14,730
That is so disgusting
on so many levels.

665
00:39:15,798 --> 00:39:19,201
I present to you my one
faithful girlfriend:

666
00:39:21,237 --> 00:39:22,204
Molly.

667
00:39:27,610 --> 00:39:28,911
Darling.

668
00:39:28,945 --> 00:39:30,512
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

669
00:39:35,251 --> 00:39:36,719
I'm happy where I am.

670
00:39:38,254 --> 00:39:40,923
Fuck it, I want to be
somewhere else, I'm in.

671
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:45,061
I'm out.

672
00:39:46,028 --> 00:39:47,830
Oh, don't do me like that.

673
00:39:48,798 --> 00:39:50,900
Yeah, you're really ready
to be a mom.

674
00:40:12,254 --> 00:40:16,258
You'd have to be Rosetta Stone
to understand that.

675
00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:26,902
You want to try some things?

676
00:40:28,570 --> 00:40:29,872
Kiss me.

677
00:40:32,641 --> 00:40:34,944
So you can go to prison
for doing this?

678
00:40:34,977 --> 00:40:37,213
Oh, yeah, nothing
that can seem like dancing

679
00:40:37,246 --> 00:40:39,115
between man and woman.

680
00:40:39,148 --> 00:40:40,616
Between two men.

681
00:40:47,590 --> 00:40:49,125
No wonder you white tailed it.

682
00:40:49,158 --> 00:40:52,762
Yeah, the moment I got out
of Iranian air space,

683
00:40:52,795 --> 00:40:54,630
I tossed my hijab

684
00:40:54,663 --> 00:40:56,298
and I ordered champagne

685
00:40:56,332 --> 00:40:58,634
on my way to USA.

686
00:40:58,667 --> 00:41:00,302
God bless America.

687
00:41:01,837 --> 00:41:04,965
How long have I known you, Joe?

688
00:41:05,007 --> 00:41:07,968
Time is relative.

689
00:41:08,010 --> 00:41:10,637
And in all of that time,

690
00:41:10,679 --> 00:41:12,890
Have I ever asked if you can...

691
00:41:12,931 --> 00:41:15,017
You never asked.

692
00:41:15,559 --> 00:41:17,978
Are you able to have sex?

693
00:41:19,813 --> 00:41:22,524
Yes, why do you ask?

694
00:41:23,859 --> 00:41:27,029
Cause I'm diggng you hella heavy...

695
00:41:30,366 --> 00:41:33,803
You're not doing this
because you feel sorry for me?

696
00:41:33,836 --> 00:41:35,271
Because I don't
want anybody's pity.

697
00:41:35,304 --> 00:41:36,705
No, I'm doing this because

698
00:41:36,739 --> 00:41:38,941
it makes me feel good right now.

699
00:41:38,974 --> 00:41:41,877
I think we have a connection.

700
00:41:41,911 --> 00:41:44,113
Don't you think
we have a connection?

701
00:41:46,816 --> 00:41:48,651
Fuck, yeah.

702
00:42:20,983 --> 00:42:22,051
Hello?

703
00:42:22,084 --> 00:42:23,652
Hi, this is Detective Perley

704
00:42:23,686 --> 00:42:25,054
from the Malibu
Sheriff's Department.

705
00:42:25,087 --> 00:42:27,022
I hope I'm not
calling too early.

706
00:42:27,056 --> 00:42:29,391
No. Um,

707
00:42:29,425 --> 00:42:32,862
I'm sorry about
not calling you back. I, um.

708
00:42:32,895 --> 00:42:34,430
No problem, no problem.
I'm actually phoning

709
00:42:34,463 --> 00:42:35,898
regarding Brock Sheridan.

710
00:42:35,931 --> 00:42:37,266
I have something
that I think you'd want.

711
00:42:38,367 --> 00:42:40,870
- Oh, what's that?
- Um.

712
00:42:40,903 --> 00:42:42,404
Well, I thought
it must have been stolen,

713
00:42:42,438 --> 00:42:44,740
but it wasn't reported,
so I took a closer look

714
00:42:44,773 --> 00:42:46,275
and it was engraved.

715
00:42:46,308 --> 00:42:48,344
Ali and Brock forever.

716
00:42:49,845 --> 00:42:50,913
It's an engagement ring.

717
00:42:51,814 --> 00:42:52,715
Oh.

718
00:42:55,417 --> 00:42:57,119
It's, uh, here at the station,

719
00:42:57,153 --> 00:42:58,654
if you want to come by
and pick it up.

720
00:42:59,388 --> 00:43:01,056
Or I could bring it to you.

721
00:43:02,458 --> 00:43:04,727
Uh, could I call you back?

722
00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:06,896
There's somebody at the door.

723
00:43:06,929 --> 00:43:08,164
Bad timing again, okay.

724
00:43:08,197 --> 00:43:09,999
Um, well, it's
under lock and key

725
00:43:10,032 --> 00:43:12,134
so come by whenever you can...

726
00:43:13,235 --> 00:43:14,136
Hello?

727
00:43:20,209 --> 00:43:21,210
Ugh.

728
00:43:22,311 --> 00:43:24,213
What happened to you?

729
00:43:24,246 --> 00:43:29,185
Let's just say my party
went from ecstasy to agony.

730
00:43:29,218 --> 00:43:30,819
Consequences.

731
00:43:30,853 --> 00:43:33,389
Well, don't gloat
just because you were right.

732
00:43:33,422 --> 00:43:34,857
Plus, it was
a shitty thing to say,

733
00:43:34,890 --> 00:43:36,992
about me not
being ready to be a mom.

734
00:43:37,026 --> 00:43:39,361
Yeah, I thought
about that, wasn't cool.

735
00:43:39,395 --> 00:43:40,863
You're supposed
to be on my side,

736
00:43:40,896 --> 00:43:42,064
even when you know I'm wrong.

737
00:43:42,097 --> 00:43:43,365
I'm sorry.

738
00:43:43,399 --> 00:43:45,100
And I need a favor.

739
00:43:45,134 --> 00:43:49,471
I expect to see
some groveling first.

740
00:43:49,505 --> 00:43:51,273
Pick up Chloe
from school tomorrow?

741
00:43:51,307 --> 00:43:52,474
I have a convention.

742
00:43:53,509 --> 00:43:55,110
- I'd love to.
- Great.

743
00:43:56,345 --> 00:43:58,514
You know what, Ali,
what I should have said was

744
00:43:58,547 --> 00:44:00,449
you don't need a man
to complete you.

745
00:44:00,482 --> 00:44:02,851
You don't even need
a man to raise a child.

746
00:44:02,885 --> 00:44:04,086
I guess.

747
00:44:04,119 --> 00:44:05,988
- Guess?
- Suppose.

748
00:44:06,021 --> 00:44:08,757
- Suppose?
- All right, I know!

749
00:44:08,791 --> 00:44:10,092
Well then, pull your head
out of your butt

750
00:44:10,125 --> 00:44:11,160
and do something about it.

751
00:44:12,161 --> 00:44:14,797
You can handle it, I think.

752
00:44:14,830 --> 00:44:18,133
You know, if you'll excuse me,
I'm late for a pity party.

753
00:44:18,167 --> 00:44:19,535
What else is wrong?

754
00:44:19,568 --> 00:44:21,804
Let's see, my goody
two-shoes doctor

755
00:44:21,837 --> 00:44:23,405
won't prescribe me
enough pain pills,

756
00:44:23,439 --> 00:44:25,841
my neck is killing me.

757
00:44:25,874 --> 00:44:29,111
And I got a marriage proposal
from beyond the grave.

758
00:44:29,144 --> 00:44:31,880
Dead Guy's ghost? Damn.

759
00:44:31,914 --> 00:44:33,816
Stay with me, V?

760
00:44:33,849 --> 00:44:36,452
I got Haagen-Dazs
and I don't want to be alone.

761
00:44:36,485 --> 00:44:38,120
You know I would if I could.

762
00:44:38,153 --> 00:44:40,322
I got to pick up Chloe
from a birthday party.

763
00:44:40,356 --> 00:44:41,257
Got to bolt.

764
00:44:43,058 --> 00:44:43,993
Love you.

765
00:44:53,535 --> 00:44:54,903
Aw!

766
00:44:55,605 --> 00:44:56,805
Baby.

767
00:44:58,340 --> 00:44:59,441
Got your message.

768
00:45:00,509 --> 00:45:02,878
I have solutions
to all your troubles.

769
00:45:05,848 --> 00:45:08,250
Ex-girlfriend is
an anesthesiologist.

770
00:45:08,284 --> 00:45:10,486
Still writes me
as many scripts as I want.

771
00:45:10,519 --> 00:45:12,554
We'll begin with OxyContin

772
00:45:12,589 --> 00:45:14,857
and Adderall,

773
00:45:14,890 --> 00:45:16,892
maybe some pot.

774
00:45:16,925 --> 00:45:18,927
Keeps everything smooth.

775
00:45:22,431 --> 00:45:24,066
Oh!

776
00:45:59,335 --> 00:46:01,103
We party all life!

777
00:46:05,608 --> 00:46:08,310
Hey dude, check it out. This is what
she was like for my appointment.

778
00:46:10,580 --> 00:46:12,147
Oh, my gosh.

779
00:46:14,651 --> 00:46:17,052
Oh, out for the count.

780
00:46:58,394 --> 00:47:01,563
Oh, fuck. Shit, shit, shit.

781
00:47:01,598 --> 00:47:03,499
- How could you flake on this?
- I just...

782
00:47:03,532 --> 00:47:05,300
I, I, I fell, I fell asleep.

783
00:47:05,334 --> 00:47:07,670
- I totally spaced. Is she okay?
- If it was just me.

784
00:47:07,704 --> 00:47:09,606
But my child, your goddaughter.

785
00:47:09,639 --> 00:47:11,573
- But, but, but Chloe's okay?
- I told you I couldn't be there.

786
00:47:11,608 --> 00:47:13,342
I know, I know.

787
00:47:13,375 --> 00:47:15,511
I, I'm so sorry.

788
00:47:15,544 --> 00:47:16,579
But is she okay?

789
00:47:16,613 --> 00:47:18,581
For fucks sake, yes, she's okay.

790
00:47:18,615 --> 00:47:20,382
My ex mother-in-law was able

791
00:47:20,416 --> 00:47:22,117
to pick her up from school
before it closed.

792
00:47:22,151 --> 00:47:23,452
She waited two hours.

793
00:47:23,485 --> 00:47:24,553
Anything could
have happened to her.

794
00:47:24,587 --> 00:47:26,288
Why didn't she call somebody?

795
00:47:26,321 --> 00:47:29,224
She fucking did call someone,
she called you!

796
00:47:29,258 --> 00:47:30,593
Check your damn messages.

797
00:47:30,627 --> 00:47:32,294
I'm never going to
forget this one.

798
00:47:32,327 --> 00:47:34,463
Veronica, I get it.

799
00:47:34,496 --> 00:47:36,165
I said I was sorry.

800
00:47:36,198 --> 00:47:37,299
But you're making this

801
00:47:37,332 --> 00:47:38,635
something worse that it is.

802
00:47:38,668 --> 00:47:40,402
The school wouldn't have
left her there,

803
00:47:40,436 --> 00:47:42,171
- they know shit happens...
- Are you seriously

804
00:47:42,204 --> 00:47:44,106
rationalizing your behavior?

805
00:47:44,139 --> 00:47:45,574
You're selfish and delusional.

806
00:47:45,608 --> 00:47:47,744
I get that you're upset,
but your coming at me

807
00:47:47,777 --> 00:47:50,078
loaded for a bear
with your barrage of insults

808
00:47:50,112 --> 00:47:52,014
- isn't going to...
- You want to hear a barrage of insults?

809
00:47:52,047 --> 00:47:54,016
Ali, look, I know you've
been through a shit load,

810
00:47:54,049 --> 00:47:56,051
but the drama
and the drugs are getting stale.

811
00:47:56,084 --> 00:47:58,187
You're acting like some
rebelling self-centered teenager.

812
00:47:58,220 --> 00:48:00,389
And you're acting
like a hysterical bitch!

813
00:48:01,356 --> 00:48:02,592
I don't want to be around you.

814
00:48:02,625 --> 00:48:04,526
Are you serious?

815
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:06,328
After everything
I've done for you.

816
00:48:06,361 --> 00:48:08,330
And now to see how
insignificant I am to you.

817
00:48:08,363 --> 00:48:11,467
How unimportant your
goddaughter has become to you.

818
00:48:11,500 --> 00:48:13,035
Why don't you
and your Russian model

819
00:48:13,068 --> 00:48:14,269
just crash and burn without me?

820
00:48:14,303 --> 00:48:16,371
Ugh, you are being so extra.

821
00:48:16,405 --> 00:48:18,006
You wouldn't understand,

822
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:19,174
you don't have children.

823
00:48:52,441 --> 00:48:53,743
You idiot.

824
00:49:08,257 --> 00:49:10,359
Detective, you scared
the bejesus out of me.

825
00:49:10,392 --> 00:49:12,094
Sorry, what happened
to your neck?

826
00:49:12,127 --> 00:49:14,096
Ugh, hard to explain.

827
00:49:14,864 --> 00:49:16,666
You came to the station
for the ring.

828
00:49:16,699 --> 00:49:18,735
I thought if I had you bring it
to me, it would be weird,

829
00:49:18,768 --> 00:49:20,135
like you were proposing to me.

830
00:49:20,837 --> 00:49:21,738
Yeah.

831
00:49:23,238 --> 00:49:24,506
I figure I'll sell the ring.

832
00:49:24,540 --> 00:49:26,709
Make sense. Dollars and sense.

833
00:49:28,443 --> 00:49:32,314
- Anyways, uh, thanks for the extra effort.
- Can I call you, Ali?

834
00:49:32,347 --> 00:49:33,850
That is my name.

835
00:49:33,883 --> 00:49:35,117
On the phone.

836
00:49:35,150 --> 00:49:36,518
Ugh, no.

837
00:49:38,788 --> 00:49:40,690
I mean, all right already.

838
00:49:40,723 --> 00:49:42,257
You can come by Friday at eight

839
00:49:42,291 --> 00:49:44,526
and try not to dress
like a detective.

840
00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:46,261
I'll come undercover.

841
00:49:46,295 --> 00:49:49,131
Or you'll cum under my covers.

842
00:49:49,164 --> 00:49:50,700
Oh, Ali, Jesus.

843
00:49:50,733 --> 00:49:52,835
Sometimes I have
diarrhea of the mouth.

844
00:49:52,869 --> 00:49:55,170
Sometimes I have
constipation of the brain,

845
00:49:55,203 --> 00:49:57,272
so, makes for a good couple.

846
00:49:57,306 --> 00:49:59,341
I'll, I'll see you Friday,
feel better.

847
00:50:17,860 --> 00:50:21,296
Hey, don't I know you from...

848
00:50:21,330 --> 00:50:23,532
well, I like to call
him Mr. Nice Guy.

849
00:50:23,565 --> 00:50:24,667
That he is.

850
00:50:25,567 --> 00:50:26,869
Looks painful.

851
00:50:26,903 --> 00:50:29,271
Oh, long story.

852
00:50:29,304 --> 00:50:30,272
Have a seat.

853
00:50:35,344 --> 00:50:37,446
- I'm sorry.
- For?

854
00:50:37,479 --> 00:50:38,615
For bolting like that.

855
00:50:38,648 --> 00:50:39,849
Only you left in such a rush

856
00:50:39,882 --> 00:50:41,550
you forgot your bag of weed.

857
00:50:41,584 --> 00:50:42,819
I finished it.

858
00:50:42,852 --> 00:50:44,486
Finders keepers.

859
00:50:44,519 --> 00:50:47,422
Jazmine, it has
nothing to do with you.

860
00:50:47,456 --> 00:50:49,726
I have kids at my school
who are gender fluid

861
00:50:49,759 --> 00:50:52,260
and every other combination.

862
00:50:52,294 --> 00:50:54,196
It was just that I,

863
00:50:54,229 --> 00:50:56,331
I realized that I didn't want
to share my man with anybody.

864
00:50:57,332 --> 00:50:58,333
It's just not who I am.

865
00:50:59,368 --> 00:51:00,903
But you're beautiful, Jazmine,

866
00:51:00,937 --> 00:51:04,439
and I love how you're
so comfortable with who you are.

867
00:51:04,473 --> 00:51:06,743
I wish there was somebody
as amazing as you are

868
00:51:06,776 --> 00:51:08,711
when I was back in high school.

869
00:51:08,745 --> 00:51:10,479
It would have saved me
a lot of shame, my...

870
00:51:11,446 --> 00:51:15,183
my dad, he was okay with it all,
but my mom... Jesus.

871
00:51:15,985 --> 00:51:17,687
When was the last time
you talked to her?

872
00:51:18,588 --> 00:51:19,956
It's been a while.

873
00:51:19,989 --> 00:51:23,258
I call mine, leave messages.

874
00:51:23,291 --> 00:51:25,494
I get to hear her voice,
even though it's just

875
00:51:25,527 --> 00:51:27,562
a recording
that will expire soon.

876
00:51:28,497 --> 00:51:30,667
How long has it been
since she passed away?

877
00:51:30,700 --> 00:51:31,668
Nine months.

878
00:51:32,969 --> 00:51:35,672
She's getting your message
in some kind of way.

879
00:51:35,705 --> 00:51:36,706
I miss her.

880
00:51:36,739 --> 00:51:38,340
Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie.

881
00:51:42,244 --> 00:51:44,212
Oh, my gosh, I got to go, hun.

882
00:51:44,246 --> 00:51:47,917
I can't be late for
my laser lady at Luscious Legs.

883
00:51:47,950 --> 00:51:49,752
Try saying that four times fast.

884
00:51:51,319 --> 00:51:52,822
Take care of yourself,

885
00:51:52,855 --> 00:51:56,291
uh, and if you see Nice Guy,
tell him I say, hey.

886
00:51:56,324 --> 00:51:58,695
And no hard feelings, seriously.

887
00:51:58,728 --> 00:51:59,962
Will do.

888
00:52:03,465 --> 00:52:04,466
Take care, okay.

889
00:52:14,509 --> 00:52:16,244
Those are
from the Ebigee Tribe.

890
00:52:16,278 --> 00:52:18,413
I got those when
I was traveling in Nigeria.

891
00:52:18,447 --> 00:52:20,315
It was a crazy trip.

892
00:52:20,348 --> 00:52:21,851
Do you, do you like to travel?

893
00:52:21,884 --> 00:52:25,353
Um, I don't get out much.

894
00:52:26,956 --> 00:52:28,858
Um, who is that?

895
00:52:28,891 --> 00:52:31,359
Oh, yeah, that's my father.

896
00:52:31,393 --> 00:52:32,929
He is so serious.

897
00:52:32,962 --> 00:52:35,397
He was a painter, composer.

898
00:52:35,430 --> 00:52:37,867
Needless to say I didn't
really take after him.

899
00:52:37,900 --> 00:52:40,268
But I love art,
and the symphony.

900
00:52:40,302 --> 00:52:44,774
Oh, he, um, was right in the
middle of this when he passed away.

901
00:52:44,807 --> 00:52:47,375
He always said:
"Art is a race against death."

902
00:52:48,543 --> 00:52:49,444
Um.

903
00:52:50,378 --> 00:52:52,815
Looks like he lost
the race right there.

904
00:52:56,586 --> 00:52:59,055
- Okay, you ready?
- Uh, maybe.

905
00:53:01,356 --> 00:53:03,492
Which would you choose,

906
00:53:03,525 --> 00:53:05,360
be alone for the rest
of your life,

907
00:53:05,393 --> 00:53:07,930
or surrounded
by annoying people?

908
00:53:07,964 --> 00:53:10,700
I am surrounded
by annoying people.

909
00:53:10,733 --> 00:53:13,468
- Present company excepted.
- Thank you.

910
00:53:13,502 --> 00:53:14,904
And I am alone.

911
00:53:14,937 --> 00:53:16,471
Present company excepted.

912
00:53:18,074 --> 00:53:19,574
My turn.

913
00:53:19,609 --> 00:53:21,010
Which would you choose...

914
00:53:22,344 --> 00:53:24,513
to smoke 50 cigarettes in a row

915
00:53:24,546 --> 00:53:27,449
or drink 12 beers in a row?

916
00:53:27,482 --> 00:53:31,353
That's going to be tough, because
I've never had a cigarette or a beer.

917
00:53:31,386 --> 00:53:32,088
Shut up.

918
00:53:32,121 --> 00:53:34,523
No beer, no pot.

919
00:53:34,556 --> 00:53:36,859
Never had a cup
of coffee, an aspirin.

920
00:53:36,893 --> 00:53:38,795
And I've never missed
a morning run.

921
00:53:38,828 --> 00:53:41,798
- Um, Clean Marine.
- Yeah.

922
00:53:41,831 --> 00:53:44,033
I bet my wine
was a big fail then.

923
00:53:44,066 --> 00:53:46,903
Uh, no, it's just,

924
00:53:46,936 --> 00:53:49,639
see, my mom was addicted
to all of them.

925
00:53:49,672 --> 00:53:51,941
So I swore to myself I'd never
let anything control me.

926
00:53:54,677 --> 00:53:57,013
Okay, um, next.

927
00:53:58,848 --> 00:54:00,716
Which would you choose,

928
00:54:00,750 --> 00:54:02,585
have your best friend
catch you lying

929
00:54:02,618 --> 00:54:04,720
or lie to your best friend?

930
00:54:04,754 --> 00:54:06,454
Um.

931
00:54:06,488 --> 00:54:07,957
I'd hate to be caught lying, so,

932
00:54:07,990 --> 00:54:10,092
assuming that is the worst.

933
00:54:10,126 --> 00:54:11,594
I've never lied
to my best friend,

934
00:54:11,627 --> 00:54:13,129
but I have lied for her.

935
00:54:13,162 --> 00:54:14,462
I sense a story coming on.

936
00:54:14,496 --> 00:54:15,798
No, no, I mean,

937
00:54:15,832 --> 00:54:17,499
I haven't told anybody about it,

938
00:54:17,532 --> 00:54:19,135
except my best friend,
because she was there.

939
00:54:19,168 --> 00:54:20,502
But top secret.

940
00:54:20,535 --> 00:54:21,804
It's okay.

941
00:54:21,838 --> 00:54:23,105
All good,
you don't have to tell me.

942
00:54:24,173 --> 00:54:27,844
I mean, I opened up
about my mom and everything.

943
00:54:27,877 --> 00:54:30,378
- It's okay, I mean, it's okay.
- Fine, I'll tell you.

944
00:54:30,412 --> 00:54:31,914
- Okay.
- Don't say anything.

945
00:54:32,949 --> 00:54:35,585
I was hanging out by the pool
with my best friend

946
00:54:35,618 --> 00:54:38,621
and her daughter Chloe,
we're just chilling.

947
00:54:38,654 --> 00:54:40,857
And I went inside
to use the bathroom

948
00:54:40,890 --> 00:54:44,126
and when I came out,
my best friend was asleep

949
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:47,930
and her daughter was
face down in the pool.

950
00:54:48,931 --> 00:54:51,133
I had to do mouth
to mouth and everything,

951
00:54:51,167 --> 00:54:52,467
it was really bad.

952
00:54:52,500 --> 00:54:53,836
And how is the kid?

953
00:54:53,870 --> 00:54:55,905
She's good,
but it was a close call.

954
00:54:55,938 --> 00:54:58,040
- You did good.
- Thank you.

955
00:54:58,074 --> 00:55:00,142
But then, her husband came home

956
00:55:00,176 --> 00:55:02,011
and their marriage
was already on the rocks,

957
00:55:02,044 --> 00:55:04,080
and I knew if he found out
he would hold it against her,

958
00:55:04,113 --> 00:55:07,449
so I lied to him
and said that I fell asleep

959
00:55:07,482 --> 00:55:10,552
and that she saved her kid.

960
00:55:10,586 --> 00:55:13,555
You took the fall,
I mean, that's a good friend.

961
00:55:13,589 --> 00:55:15,958
Thanks, I love her.

962
00:55:15,992 --> 00:55:18,961
Can I ask you, do you ever
want to have children?

963
00:55:18,995 --> 00:55:21,163
I, I can't.

964
00:55:21,197 --> 00:55:24,100
Thank you,
Mayer-Rokitansky-Kuster-Hauser Syndrome.

965
00:55:28,704 --> 00:55:31,473
Um, if you want to have some
wine, it's fine with me. I'm...

966
00:55:31,506 --> 00:55:33,209
- It's okay, it's fine. It's okay.
- No, no, no.

967
00:55:33,242 --> 00:55:34,944
If you can go
your whole life without it,

968
00:55:34,977 --> 00:55:37,046
I don't need to have
a glass of wine.

969
00:55:37,079 --> 00:55:38,614
I'm curious about something.

970
00:55:40,016 --> 00:55:42,184
You know what
that did to the cat.

971
00:55:43,753 --> 00:55:45,621
From what I've seen,
your choice in suitors

972
00:55:45,655 --> 00:55:47,657
is not to be relied on.

973
00:55:49,491 --> 00:55:50,425
Why is that?

974
00:55:54,096 --> 00:55:56,799
As Princess Leia said
in the garbage compactor scene,

975
00:55:56,832 --> 00:55:57,833
"It's not over yet."

976
00:55:57,867 --> 00:55:59,936
Oh, that's good,

977
00:55:59,969 --> 00:56:01,871
because I can be relied on.

978
00:56:06,108 --> 00:56:08,443
- No crap, Kojak?
- No, no crap.

979
00:56:19,956 --> 00:56:21,657
I never thought I would actually

980
00:56:21,691 --> 00:56:24,160
get to say this literally,

981
00:56:24,193 --> 00:56:26,696
but is there a gun
in your pocket

982
00:56:26,729 --> 00:56:28,698
or are you just happy with me?

983
00:56:28,731 --> 00:56:29,832
Which would you choose?

984
00:56:37,707 --> 00:56:38,607
Ali?

985
00:56:39,608 --> 00:56:41,043
I never sleep with a woman
on the first date.

986
00:56:42,278 --> 00:56:44,512
I'm really hoping
there is going to be a second.

987
00:56:47,083 --> 00:56:48,851
You really do have self-control.

988
00:56:55,557 --> 00:56:56,926
Yeah, dude,
check it out,

989
00:56:56,959 --> 00:56:58,661
this is what she was
like for my appointment.

990
00:56:59,962 --> 00:57:02,231
Oh, out for the count.

991
00:57:10,106 --> 00:57:12,041
Someone linked it up
to the school home page.

992
00:57:17,213 --> 00:57:18,114
No comment?

993
00:57:19,982 --> 00:57:21,183
Maybe I did hire you too young.

994
00:57:21,217 --> 00:57:23,019
I'm processing.

995
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:26,822
Look, we both know
nothing happens on this campus

996
00:57:26,856 --> 00:57:28,591
without me being aware of it.

997
00:57:28,624 --> 00:57:30,659
This is what I do,
I'm here, I'm present.

998
00:57:30,693 --> 00:57:31,827
25 years sober.

999
00:57:33,262 --> 00:57:34,797
And here is the rub.

1000
00:57:34,830 --> 00:57:36,564
It's out of my hands now.

1001
00:57:36,599 --> 00:57:38,267
Now that everybody's seen it,

1002
00:57:38,300 --> 00:57:39,969
I'm going to have to explain it
to the school board

1003
00:57:40,002 --> 00:57:41,569
and to Supervisor Gibbs.

1004
00:57:44,974 --> 00:57:47,243
You know it's guilty until proven
innocent with that bunch of piranhas.

1005
00:57:47,276 --> 00:57:50,780
- Am I on trial for napping?
- No.

1006
00:57:50,813 --> 00:57:52,948
But you will be
for taking this too lightly.

1007
00:57:52,982 --> 00:57:54,817
How in the hell did
you get yourself caught up

1008
00:57:54,850 --> 00:57:56,852
in such an awkward
situation in the first place?

1009
00:57:56,886 --> 00:57:59,088
I fell asleep in my office.

1010
00:57:59,121 --> 00:58:02,091
I was in a lot of pain,
and I needed a quick cat nap.

1011
00:58:02,124 --> 00:58:05,661
And you didn't notice somebody
filming you from head to toe?

1012
00:58:05,694 --> 00:58:07,029
That is not some kind
of safe napping.

1013
00:58:08,097 --> 00:58:09,598
And what happened to your neck?

1014
00:58:09,632 --> 00:58:11,067
I don't feel that is pertinent.

1015
00:58:11,100 --> 00:58:12,668
Incorrect!

1016
00:58:12,701 --> 00:58:14,103
If you're under medication
while on the job,

1017
00:58:14,136 --> 00:58:15,704
you must log in with the nurse,

1018
00:58:15,738 --> 00:58:17,206
along with the doctor's
prescription.

1019
00:58:17,239 --> 00:58:18,974
And that is pertinent.

1020
00:58:19,008 --> 00:58:20,810
Do you realize the legalities
I have to go through

1021
00:58:20,843 --> 00:58:22,144
on a daily basis
with the parents here?

1022
00:58:37,760 --> 00:58:38,994
Principal Davis?

1023
00:58:41,330 --> 00:58:43,599
Once you've seen
somebody run over by a bus...

1024
00:58:44,667 --> 00:58:46,869
it's hard to figure out what to
do with the rest of your day.

1025
00:58:46,902 --> 00:58:48,304
My God, you did?

1026
00:58:51,941 --> 00:58:54,677
I saw her on the sidewalk
with her walker.

1027
00:58:56,378 --> 00:58:58,681
I guess the bus driver didn't.

1028
00:58:58,714 --> 00:58:59,715
And just like that,

1029
00:59:00,416 --> 00:59:01,350
game over.

1030
00:59:02,685 --> 00:59:05,321
I think you should go home,

1031
00:59:05,354 --> 00:59:08,357
I think you're
in a mild state of shock.

1032
00:59:08,390 --> 00:59:09,892
I got to shake this off.

1033
00:59:10,926 --> 00:59:12,294
Do the best I can for my kids.

1034
00:59:14,130 --> 00:59:17,433
Well, I assure you
this will not happen again.

1035
00:59:17,466 --> 00:59:19,034
See that old lady
run over by a bus?

1036
00:59:19,068 --> 00:59:20,302
My situation.

1037
00:59:20,336 --> 00:59:21,937
I, I promise, Principal Davis,

1038
00:59:21,971 --> 00:59:23,906
I, I will make sure to log

1039
00:59:23,939 --> 00:59:26,108
all medication in
with the nurse.

1040
00:59:27,776 --> 00:59:30,179
Maybe it's time
you took inventory,

1041
00:59:30,212 --> 00:59:32,314
and figure out your part
in this fiasco.

1042
00:59:34,150 --> 00:59:35,851
Meaning what?

1043
00:59:37,353 --> 00:59:39,088
Meaning that, if you got
kittens in the oven,

1044
00:59:39,121 --> 00:59:40,055
you don't call them muffins.

1045
00:59:44,126 --> 00:59:47,930
If it's not dark chocolate,
there's no point.

1046
00:59:47,963 --> 00:59:49,398
What?

1047
00:59:49,431 --> 00:59:52,401
I finally found
my Clean Marine's "oholic,"

1048
00:59:52,434 --> 00:59:54,470
as in chocoholic.

1049
00:59:54,503 --> 00:59:58,040
Buyer beware, life won't
be worth living in 2021.

1050
00:59:58,073 --> 00:59:59,742
Oh, why is that?

1051
00:59:59,775 --> 01:00:01,143
It's when the world's supply

1052
01:00:01,177 --> 01:00:03,345
of sustainable cocoa
will be devastated.

1053
01:00:03,379 --> 01:00:05,748
There will be a global
chocolate drought.

1054
01:00:05,781 --> 01:00:07,349
Um, the clock is ticking.

1055
01:00:10,186 --> 01:00:11,787
You got to get it while you can.

1056
01:00:26,869 --> 01:00:28,704
- Chocolatey.
- Very.

1057
01:00:38,380 --> 01:00:40,149
- Can I use your bathroom?
- Oh.

1058
01:00:42,251 --> 01:00:44,420
I don't know, can you?

1059
01:00:44,453 --> 01:00:47,056
I hated when my teacher
would say that to me.

1060
01:00:47,089 --> 01:00:49,491
- Right. It's so evil.
- Yeah. The worst.

1061
01:00:50,826 --> 01:00:52,161
- It's just down the hall.
- Okay.

1062
01:01:21,523 --> 01:01:22,424
Ali.

1063
01:01:23,593 --> 01:01:24,793
Is everything okay?

1064
01:01:24,827 --> 01:01:25,794
Um.

1065
01:01:29,565 --> 01:01:31,867
Okay, whatever you have
to say, just say it.

1066
01:01:31,900 --> 01:01:33,869
Okay, um.

1067
01:01:36,171 --> 01:01:38,107
Ali, what we've started
can't last.

1068
01:01:38,140 --> 01:01:40,075
Your world is just too crazy,

1069
01:01:40,109 --> 01:01:42,811
and if there's one thing I've
learned from my past marriages...

1070
01:01:42,845 --> 01:01:45,414
Marriages? You didn't
tell me there were two.

1071
01:01:45,447 --> 01:01:47,249
- Or more?
- One thing I've learned

1072
01:01:47,283 --> 01:01:49,285
is I have to stop
trying to rescue women.

1073
01:01:51,153 --> 01:01:54,156
So that's your conclusion
based on your snooping?

1074
01:01:54,189 --> 01:01:57,226
You have a bottle of Oxy in
someone else's name, Adderall...

1075
01:01:57,259 --> 01:01:59,161
You know, I don't appreciate
people going through my shit.

1076
01:01:59,194 --> 01:02:00,496
Well then, if you
have nothing to hide...

1077
01:02:00,529 --> 01:02:01,830
You know, you're
the biggest fucking

1078
01:02:01,864 --> 01:02:03,198
control freak in the world.

1079
01:02:03,232 --> 01:02:04,433
I'm done trying
to catch a falling knife.

1080
01:02:04,466 --> 01:02:06,068
Well, I don't need rescuing.

1081
01:02:06,101 --> 01:02:07,870
Good, because I'm not
a lifeguard anymore.

1082
01:02:07,903 --> 01:02:09,471
No, you're just a fucking guy

1083
01:02:09,505 --> 01:02:11,807
with a badge
and a stick up his ass.

1084
01:02:14,877 --> 01:02:16,178
The door is
right over there, Ali.

1085
01:02:17,580 --> 01:02:19,281
Don't forget your Oxy.

1086
01:02:21,651 --> 01:02:23,218
I had a fucking neck injury.

1087
01:02:27,990 --> 01:02:28,957
Fuck you.

1088
01:02:29,958 --> 01:02:31,327
Mature.

1089
01:03:28,050 --> 01:03:29,652
In the last month,

1090
01:03:29,686 --> 01:03:32,020
we've had formal complaints
from Dylan and his parents

1091
01:03:32,054 --> 01:03:35,592
and Lily and her parents about your
poor judgment, inappropriate behavior,

1092
01:03:35,625 --> 01:03:37,660
and unethical choices.

1093
01:03:37,694 --> 01:03:41,096
Dylan, can you share with us
what Miss Silver said to you?

1094
01:03:41,130 --> 01:03:43,031
She told me that
all the other students

1095
01:03:43,065 --> 01:03:44,400
were calling anything small...

1096
01:03:45,367 --> 01:03:46,703
a Dylan dick.

1097
01:03:46,736 --> 01:03:48,437
They weren't, she was just

1098
01:03:48,470 --> 01:03:49,972
trying to freak me out.

1099
01:03:50,005 --> 01:03:51,173
Lily, would you mind telling us

1100
01:03:51,206 --> 01:03:52,474
what made you feel uncomfortable

1101
01:03:52,508 --> 01:03:53,942
about your sessions
with Miss Silver?

1102
01:03:55,077 --> 01:03:56,178
She was just...

1103
01:03:57,580 --> 01:03:59,148
I'm pretty sure she hates men.

1104
01:03:59,181 --> 01:04:00,583
Lily, why are you doing this?

1105
01:04:00,617 --> 01:04:02,918
We're the ones
asking the questions here.

1106
01:04:03,653 --> 01:04:04,621
You two may go now.

1107
01:04:05,789 --> 01:04:09,558
You have also been caught
on video sleeping seductively.

1108
01:04:09,592 --> 01:04:11,293
Seductively?

1109
01:04:11,326 --> 01:04:13,028
Are you joking?

1110
01:04:13,061 --> 01:04:14,563
I, I don't know
who took that video,

1111
01:04:14,597 --> 01:04:16,532
but, um, I felt violated.

1112
01:04:16,565 --> 01:04:19,034
You also have admitted
on being on a medication

1113
01:04:19,067 --> 01:04:21,370
without informing
the school nurse as required.

1114
01:04:21,403 --> 01:04:23,572
And now, we have
a star athlete parent's

1115
01:04:23,606 --> 01:04:25,541
- threatening to sue the school.
- Hmm.

1116
01:04:26,442 --> 01:04:28,343
Due to
your erratic behavior,

1117
01:04:28,377 --> 01:04:30,245
I'm asking that you take
a drug test immediately.

1118
01:04:31,180 --> 01:04:34,183
And if you fail to do so,
I must ask for your resignation.

1119
01:04:34,216 --> 01:04:36,218
And if you do not
want to comply with this,

1120
01:04:36,251 --> 01:04:39,021
I will terminate your work here,
effective immediately.

1121
01:04:43,726 --> 01:04:45,728
Well, I guess I was wrong.

1122
01:04:48,665 --> 01:04:51,033
You did get to see another
woman get run over again.

1123
01:05:16,124 --> 01:05:17,025
Stop it.

1124
01:05:18,728 --> 01:05:19,762
Stop it!

1125
01:05:25,133 --> 01:05:26,168
Fuck off!

1126
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:45,688
Tell me, baby.

1127
01:05:48,791 --> 01:05:50,760
I was fired.

1128
01:05:50,793 --> 01:05:51,761
Oh.

1129
01:05:53,128 --> 01:05:54,329
What can I do to help?

1130
01:05:57,266 --> 01:05:58,668
Take me away.

1131
01:05:58,701 --> 01:06:00,135
Far, far away.

1132
01:06:02,639 --> 01:06:04,239
I thought you might say that.

1133
01:06:06,809 --> 01:06:08,477
What am I, in kindergarten?

1134
01:06:09,846 --> 01:06:11,079
Just wait.

1135
01:06:22,859 --> 01:06:24,226
How do you feel?

1136
01:06:27,630 --> 01:06:32,501
Like I'm swimming in a pool
of warm marshmallows.

1137
01:06:35,304 --> 01:06:36,806
That's fent, all right.

1138
01:06:39,809 --> 01:06:41,611
Close your eyes, my beauty.

1139
01:07:11,674 --> 01:07:13,475
Have you ever kissed Veronica?

1140
01:07:15,177 --> 01:07:17,212
I've never kissed any girl.

1141
01:07:35,364 --> 01:07:37,265
Ali? Ali!

1142
01:07:39,869 --> 01:07:41,671
Wake up, wake up.

1143
01:07:43,873 --> 01:07:45,608
Ali, wake up.

1144
01:07:50,445 --> 01:07:52,649
Hi,
you've reached Eva Silver.

1145
01:07:52,682 --> 01:07:54,684
Tip for the day:
write the bad things

1146
01:07:54,717 --> 01:07:56,518
that happen to you in sand,

1147
01:07:56,551 --> 01:07:58,520
carve the good things
that happen to you

1148
01:07:58,553 --> 01:08:00,355
on a slab of marble,

1149
01:08:00,389 --> 01:08:03,291
and leave a message at the beep.

1150
01:08:03,325 --> 01:08:06,461
The mailbox is full and cannot accept

1151
01:08:06,495 --> 01:08:08,463
any messages at this time.
Goodbye.

1152
01:08:11,701 --> 01:08:12,635
Mommy.

1153
01:08:15,470 --> 01:08:17,506
I must be such
a disappointment to you.

1154
01:08:18,741 --> 01:08:20,943
This is not what
you'd want for me.

1155
01:08:26,783 --> 01:08:29,551
I wish I could hear you tell me
that one day I'll get it right.

1156
01:08:33,455 --> 01:08:35,457
That this is just
the end of what you taught me

1157
01:08:35,490 --> 01:08:37,827
was an annus horribilis,

1158
01:08:37,860 --> 01:08:41,430
a horrible year,
written in sand.

1159
01:09:09,892 --> 01:09:10,893
Love yourself.

1160
01:09:42,491 --> 01:09:44,727
It's like
this thing I was told,

1161
01:09:44,761 --> 01:09:47,462
it's in total blackness
that you can see the light.

1162
01:09:47,496 --> 01:09:50,733
In the tank, images
and memories flow in and out,

1163
01:09:50,767 --> 01:09:52,702
and it gave me
a safe place to process

1164
01:09:52,735 --> 01:09:55,071
and to get honest with myself.

1165
01:09:55,104 --> 01:09:57,405
Move through
the ridiculousness of it all.

1166
01:09:57,439 --> 01:09:59,474
I didn't know what
you'd been going through.

1167
01:09:59,508 --> 01:10:00,910
As in fired from my job,

1168
01:10:00,943 --> 01:10:03,411
not living an authentic
grown-up life,

1169
01:10:03,445 --> 01:10:06,816
my first and last ride
in the back of an ambulance.

1170
01:10:07,717 --> 01:10:10,019
Wow, I'm glad you're safe.

1171
01:10:10,052 --> 01:10:12,354
It was a real wake up call.

1172
01:10:12,387 --> 01:10:14,791
I'm going to start back with
the foster parenting classes.

1173
01:10:14,824 --> 01:10:16,424
Get back to what is important.

1174
01:10:16,458 --> 01:10:18,060
So, you're cool
doing it on your own?

1175
01:10:19,394 --> 01:10:21,363
Yeah, I am.

1176
01:10:21,396 --> 01:10:23,699
But I can't be a foster parent
until I get a job,

1177
01:10:23,733 --> 01:10:25,835
so it's a whole process.

1178
01:10:27,502 --> 01:10:28,938
I may be able
to help you out with that.

1179
01:10:30,740 --> 01:10:33,475
I know one of the board
of directors of Promises Rehab,

1180
01:10:33,508 --> 01:10:35,011
right here in Malibu.

1181
01:10:35,044 --> 01:10:36,879
They're looking
for another therapist.

1182
01:10:38,047 --> 01:10:41,083
Past drug use isn't a detriment,
it's a requirement.

1183
01:10:43,119 --> 01:10:44,854
That would be incredible.

1184
01:10:45,755 --> 01:10:48,991
So, how is your girlfriend,
what did you say her name was?

1185
01:10:49,025 --> 01:10:50,693
Carmen.

1186
01:10:50,726 --> 01:10:54,597
- We're engaged.
- Oh, I forgot, you move fast.

1187
01:10:55,631 --> 01:10:57,700
What did you say about, uh...

1188
01:10:59,068 --> 01:11:01,369
I told Carmen
that I'm from Kansas,

1189
01:11:01,403 --> 01:11:03,039
that I forage for my own food,

1190
01:11:03,072 --> 01:11:05,641
and I like threesomes
with women like Jazmine.

1191
01:11:05,675 --> 01:11:06,809
And?

1192
01:11:06,843 --> 01:11:07,777
She said:

1193
01:11:08,778 --> 01:11:11,681
"I've never met anybody
from Kansas before."

1194
01:11:14,917 --> 01:11:15,852
Right?

1195
01:11:17,987 --> 01:11:21,090
- It's good to see you.
- Um, it's good to see you.

1196
01:11:21,123 --> 01:11:23,092
- I'm glad you're doing well.
- Thank you.

1197
01:11:24,594 --> 01:11:25,895
Shit.

1198
01:11:25,928 --> 01:11:27,797
It's supposed to be here
somewhere.

1199
01:11:27,830 --> 01:11:29,431
How could I get a zit at my age?

1200
01:11:29,464 --> 01:11:30,633
I'm supposed to be
worried about wrinkles

1201
01:11:30,666 --> 01:11:32,467
and sun damage, not zits.

1202
01:11:32,500 --> 01:11:34,670
Can you relax?
You got this.

1203
01:11:34,704 --> 01:11:37,173
That's what Nice Guy said,
I wouldn't win this interview without him.

1204
01:11:37,206 --> 01:11:39,041
Nice Guy has really
been living up to his name.

1205
01:11:39,075 --> 01:11:40,910
And I wouldn't
be here without you.

1206
01:11:40,943 --> 01:11:43,145
The hospital visits,
the rest of it.

1207
01:11:43,179 --> 01:11:45,081
I couldn't lose my best friend.

1208
01:11:45,114 --> 01:11:46,849
Even if she was
being a dumb ass.

1209
01:11:48,918 --> 01:11:50,186
Just put toothpaste on it.

1210
01:11:50,219 --> 01:11:52,755
That is blue, I need a conceal.

1211
01:11:52,788 --> 01:11:55,191
Ugh, there is
so much shit in here.

1212
01:11:55,224 --> 01:11:58,828
- Dress or pants?
- Um, wear pants, uh, the purple sweater set

1213
01:11:58,861 --> 01:12:01,797
with the gold and porcelain
buttons or whatever.

1214
01:12:01,831 --> 01:12:03,799
Oh, what about
that pink turtleneck?

1215
01:12:05,567 --> 01:12:08,403
Or maybe a red dress or something, you don't
want to show too much skin, never mind.

1216
01:12:09,205 --> 01:12:10,773
- OxyContin?
- Really?

1217
01:12:13,075 --> 01:12:14,110
Pot?

1218
01:12:16,178 --> 01:12:17,445
Condoms.

1219
01:12:19,715 --> 01:12:20,917
You're a superstar.

1220
01:12:20,950 --> 01:12:22,919
Who am I kidding
about the condoms?

1221
01:12:24,687 --> 01:12:26,756
You got Foster Friday's on?

1222
01:12:26,789 --> 01:12:27,890
As always.

1223
01:12:29,258 --> 01:12:31,160
Ah, I'm still fixing my face.

1224
01:12:31,193 --> 01:12:33,495
I feel like I'm 13.

1225
01:12:33,528 --> 01:12:36,498
Hey, yo, you remember
that kid from last year, Leo?

1226
01:12:36,531 --> 01:12:38,134
The one who tripped
the cameraman and got

1227
01:12:38,167 --> 01:12:39,669
paint all over
the anchor's hair and stuff?

1228
01:12:40,803 --> 01:12:42,470
Yeah, we loved him.

1229
01:12:42,504 --> 01:12:44,206
Not the hair!

1230
01:12:44,240 --> 01:12:45,608
Well, he is back.

1231
01:12:46,709 --> 01:12:48,611
I thought he had
his forever home.

1232
01:12:48,644 --> 01:12:50,246
Apparently not.

1233
01:12:50,279 --> 01:12:53,582
It's going to be tough for him,
though, his being so old.

1234
01:12:53,616 --> 01:12:55,483
He is special.

1235
01:12:55,517 --> 01:12:58,587
Expressive eyes.
Wise old soul, right?

1236
01:12:58,621 --> 01:13:00,488
Yeah, but he's
a handful, though.

1237
01:13:01,590 --> 01:13:03,793
Remember last year I said it?

1238
01:13:03,826 --> 01:13:05,161
I told you, I said this guy,

1239
01:13:05,194 --> 01:13:07,562
this kid would be
a good match for me.

1240
01:13:07,596 --> 01:13:08,731
But you couldn't commit.

1241
01:13:10,967 --> 01:13:13,970
Hold on, are we
seriously talking about this?

1242
01:13:23,846 --> 01:13:25,948
I'll imagine it
carved in marble.

1243
01:13:27,216 --> 01:13:28,217
Are you okay, Mom?

1244
01:13:29,385 --> 01:13:32,788
Yeah, it's just the first time
you've called me "mom."

1245
01:13:32,822 --> 01:13:34,824
At first, I thought
you were stuck with me

1246
01:13:34,857 --> 01:13:37,259
being the oldest one
at the foster home.

1247
01:13:37,293 --> 01:13:40,562
Know this, you were
my first and only choice,

1248
01:13:40,596 --> 01:13:43,299
so, now you're stuck with me.

1249
01:14:32,681 --> 01:14:34,083
Welcome back to the 'bu.

1250
01:14:34,116 --> 01:14:36,685
Sure we lost Ali,
one of our boldest soldiers,

1251
01:14:36,719 --> 01:14:40,623
but don't worry, no fire,
mudslide, earthquake,

1252
01:14:40,656 --> 01:14:43,292
or fallen soldier is going to
stop us from doing what we do.

1253
01:14:43,325 --> 01:14:45,594
Mojito sipping,
night time surfing,

1254
01:14:45,628 --> 01:14:47,029
living it up in paradise.

1255
01:15:07,505 --> 01:15:12,505
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