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King Baconator

a guest Dec 8th, 2016 104 Never
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  1. Taking another cautious sip, you say, "Well, if Rhi's interested in the game, we can start it."
  2.  
  3. With extreme caution and dread, Captain Rolan Vessandril asks, "What game?"
  4.  
  5. Whelp Rhi says, "I um never got a erm...cup if that's okay."
  6.  
  7. <<< We get the newbie booze! >>>
  8.  
  9. Happily, you say to Rolan, "Storytelling!"
  10.  
  11. Xypher claps his hands together merrily.
  12.  
  13. Gathering some pillows to place below her bottom, Rhi lowers herself to the ground and sips on the mysterious liquid, shuddering a bit as she first tastes it.
  14.  
  15. Clearing her throat, Whelp Rhi says to you, "It's um, yes."
  16.  
  17. The corners of Rolan's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.
  18.  
  19. Hands waving enigmatically, you say to Rhi, "Paradiiiigms!"
  20.  
  21. Clapping her hands, you say, "But, yes, stories! It's very simple!"
  22.  
  23. Rhi giggles awkwardly, unsure what you even means. "Yay..." she cheers sftly her voice hoarse from the burning beverage.
  24.  
  25. You say, "We each go around the room and tell part of a story. There will be several items we need to incorporate in. I will tell you what they are when it is your turn. Are there any questions?"
  26.  
  27. Captain Rolan Vessandril says, "What are stories."
  28.  
  29. Rolan stares blankly into space.
  30.  
  31. You stare implacably at Rolan.
  32.  
  33. Xypher's eyes sparkle with amusement.
  34.  
  35. You giggle happily.
  36.  
  37. You raise your hand in greeting to Enadonella and say "Hi!"
  38.  
  39. You say to Enadonella, "Just in time for storytelling!"
  40.  
  41. Enadonella smiles softly in greeting and finds a corner to quietly watch from.
  42.  
  43. You clap your hands together merrily.
  44.  
  45. You say, "Very well. I'll go first. Give me....three nouns."
  46.  
  47. Captain Rolan Vessandril says, "Bacon."
  48.  
  49. Utterly entranced, Xypher emits a long "Ooooh."
  50.  
  51. Rolan stares blankly into space.
  52.  
  53. Whelp Rhi says, "Fire!"
  54.  
  55. You say, "Bacon, fire...and?"
  56.  
  57. Whelp Rhi says, "Booze."
  58.  
  59. Rhi tilts her head curiously.
  60.  
  61. Whelp Rhi says, "I'm sorry I shouldn't go erm twice."
  62.  
  63. You say, "Bacon, fire and booze! Ok, those are the three words we are starting the story based on!"
  64.  
  65. You have emoted: Breandryn purses her lips, taking another slow, pensive sip of her drink as she collects her thoughts.
  66.  
  67. Eerily, Initiate Enadonella whispers, "Fiiiiya."
  68.  
  69. Voice hushed as her eyebrows raise, you say, "Once upon a time, there was a King. This King was a marvelous man of a magical kingdom, for he was the Grand King Baconator of Bacontopia!"
  70.  
  71. <<< I was hungry. I didn't get the unthinking reference until too late D: >>>
  72.  
  73. Rolan stares blankly into space.
  74.  
  75. Pursing her lips as she continues the story, you say, "Now, Grand King Baconator was plagued by one thing, but it was a terrible fear for him and his populace: the wild, ravenous flame hogs who marauded across the countryside, spitting fire and roasting peasants to charred crisps!"
  76.  
  77. Shivering at her own story, you say, "But the Grand King Baconator was wise and kind and vowed to help his subjects, so he prepared himself to make a grand journey to seek aid. He saddled up his hamhock steed and wielded a mighty turkey leg, with his lunch meat shield strapped to his back, and set off to petition the Queen of the neighboring kingdom....Boozeland!"
  78.  
  79. You have emoted: Breandryn lifts her arm, pointing slowly around the room until her finger lands on Xypher. "Your turn!" she declares. "Continue the story!"
  80.  
  81. You say, "Your words are...."
  82.  
  83. You have emoted: Breandryn looks to the rest of the crowd for suggestions.
  84.  
  85. Captain Rolan Vessandril says, "Defenestration."
  86.  
  87. Rolan nods his head sagely at himself.
  88.  
  89. Captain Rolan Vessandril says, "No, that's a terrible word to use."
  90.  
  91. Captain Rolan Vessandril says, "Canoe."
  92.  
  93. Rolan nods his head sagely at himself.
  94.  
  95. You say, "Ok, canoe and...I think cookies!"
  96.  
  97. You say, "And a third word?"
  98.  
  99. Grand Xypher Stormcrow, Dreamer of Saffron whispers, "Pigeons."
  100.  
  101. You say, "Pigeons!"
  102.  
  103. Enadonella licks her lips.
  104.  
  105. You say, "Canoe, cookies and pigeons."
  106.  
  107. You point accusingly at Xypher.
  108.  
  109. You say to Xypher, "Continue the story!"
  110.  
  111. Xypher's eyes sparkle with amusement.
  112.  
  113. Looking over to Rolan with a concerned face, Rhi attempts to nod nonchalantly to Enadonella, but the geasture is very poorly masked as she practically has twitch as she does it.
  114.  
  115. Rolan pats Rhi in a friendly manner.
  116.  
  117. You have emoted: Breandryn takes a pleased sip of her drink, clearly proud of her part of the story. She snags another piece of cake as well, her tummy rumbling from all the talk of bacon.
  118.  
  119. Xypher stands upright, swaying a bit from the consumption. With a wave of his arm, a fine mist of paradigmatic energy flows down while he beings or orate the tale, "The great King, oh the great King! Long did he travel, far and wide. For the kingdom of Boozeland was far from his capital. Over land his steed did ride, till it fell into a river of sticky syrup. Oh the embarrassment! Oh the shame! He had not fed the beast, so it fled to find its own sweet salvation!"
  120.  
  121. You have emoted: Breandryn gasps, hand lifting to her mouth in concern for the hamhock steed.
  122.  
  123. Xypher makes a grand motion with both arms, allowing prismatic lights of chaotic energy and essence to flow from his wings. "But here, yes! Here he did find the great canoe of pancake flotilla. Yes, the flotilla that sails the great Syrup Sea! The great king called out to those on board the sweet pillowy good vessel, and beseeched them for a ride. But alas, he would need to leave his beloved steed behind."
  124.  
  125. You have emoted: "A whole flotilla of pancakes..." Breandryn echoes, eyes wide with awe.
  126.  
  127. Smirking, Initiate Enadonella murmurs, "Sweet baby Gorgulu, he could at least salvage the meat for the journey."
  128.  
  129. You give Enadonella a horrified gasp.
  130.  
  131. Captain Rolan Vessandril says to you, "She's not wrong."
  132.  
  133. You have emoted: Breandryn's ears flatten against her head as she tries her best not to hear such horrid, hungry things.
  134.  
  135. Xypher lowers his arms, as his tone grows low, "With a heavy heart, he sent the creature from whence it came...with a great gulp of the sticky food it did so charge away. He gave a nod and boarded the floury creation, embarking on way to boozeland via the sea...but oh...oh the fools! They did not know! How could they!" He flaps his arms and wings as he runs around the group mocking a great bird. "They came! Oh how they came! The pigeons of the vile lands, the shadowy place of garbage island! The fools came to close! And with a great whoosh!" He flops into the middle of those gathered for dramatic effect, "They ate a great whole into the pancake canoe!"
  136.  
  137. You have emoted: Breandryn's hand lips to her lips as she listens, eyes wide.
  138.  
  139. Alarmed, you say to Xypher, "What about the cookies?!"
  140.  
  141. Nilofer gives the world a smart salute.
  142.  
  143. Rolan doffs a copper crown of lions cordially.
  144.  
  145. Rolan looks about himself suspiciously.
  146.  
  147. You say to Xypher, "Could the cookies save them from drowning?!" She sways back and forth, taking a nervous sip, clearly worried about King Baconator's fate. "Pigeons WOULD eat the pancake canoe, wouldn't they!"
  148.  
  149. With a grin, Grand Xypher Stormcrow, Dreamer of Saffron whispers, "Oh that is the best part! Yes! For it was with the great cookie launchers that they fended off the winged vermin! With a shot here and a shot there!" He mocks each shot dramatically, "But they still were sinking...oh what would the king do now?!"
  150.  
  151. In excitement, you say, "What! What does he do next?!"
  152.  
  153. You have emoted: Breandryn glances about the room, looking for the next volunvictim.
  154.  
  155. Xypher points at Enadonella as he whispers softly, "Oh, but she knows...yes she knows what comes next!"
  156.  
  157. You beam broadly at Enadonella.
  158.  
  159. You say, "Words! I suggest a...butterfly!"
  160.  
  161. Rolan stares blankly into space.
  162.  
  163. You say, "Two more words!"
  164.  
  165. Whelp Rhi says, "Erm um."
  166.  
  167. Whelp Rhi says, "Puppy."
  168.  
  169. Grand Xypher Stormcrow, Dreamer of Saffron whispers, "I would suggest...trumpet."
  170.  
  171. You say, "A puppy and a trumpet and a butterfly!"
  172.  
  173. You say to Enadonella, "What happens next!"
  174.  
  175. Standing a little straighter, Initiate Enadonella whispers, "Challenge. Accepted."
  176.  
  177. You applaud Enadonella heartily.
  178.  
  179. Rhi smiles brightly and turns her head intently to listen to Enadonella.
  180.  
  181. Rolan doffs a copper crown of lions to Nilofer.
  182.  
  183. Xypher sips a bit bigger of a sip than he should as he waits with eager anticipation.
  184.  
  185. You have emoted: Breandryn takes another drink from her glass, brightly greeting Nilofer with a, "Have some whiskey!" as she points at the kegs and cups.
  186.  
  187. Swaying happily from side to side, you say, "And cake. Plenty of cake."
  188.  
  189. Nilofer slips quietly into the room with a quick salute to Rolan. your request brings a smile to the aslaran's face, "Ah, this one has quite plenty of her own, thank you: an artifact from the worship of Lady Kalikai."
  190.  
  191. In a lower voice, you say to Nilofer, "The story so far: King Baconator is on a quest to save his kingdom from flame hogs. He is trying to get to Boozeland to entreat the Queen for aide, but his pancake canoe is under assault by pigeons. He is fighting them off with cookie launchers."
  192.  
  193. Nilofer sucks thoughtfully on her teeth.
  194.  
  195. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa says, "She sees..."
  196.  
  197. Captain Rolan Vessandril says to you, "I'm very glad for the recap because I have very much not been able to follow along."
  198.  
  199. Rolan sways back and forth.
  200.  
  201. With your mighty index finger extended, you poke Rolan.
  202.  
  203. Xypher's eyes sparkle with amusement.
  204.  
  205. Captain Rolan Vessandril says, "Eh?"
  206.  
  207. Eyes widening as her voice lowers to a sidebar, you say to Nilofer, "Oh, how special that must be, to have a gift from a Goddess! I have a flower from Lady Ashtariel, and I treasure it."
  208.  
  209. Nilofer sucks thoughtfully on her teeth.
  210.  
  211. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa whispers to you, "It wasn't a gift, per se, more this one continuing paying her respects to the Lady."
  212.  
  213. Nilofer blushes at Rhi furiously.
  214.  
  215. Rhi sweats profusely and wrings her hands nervously.
  216.  
  217. Eltorinus creases his brow in a frown.
  218.  
  219. Enadonella clears her throat.
  220.  
  221. Moving to a more central position, Initiate Enadonella whispers, "Brace yourselves."
  222.  
  223. You have emoted: Breandryn tilts her head thoughtfully, considering that, and then nods happily at Nilofer. "Oh, I can understand that," she murmurs quietly as Enadonella prepares.
  224.  
  225. Xypher claps his hands together merrily.
  226.  
  227. Xypher settles in, like a child awaiting the greatest story.
  228.  
  229. You have emoted: Breandryn can barely stay in her seat, fidgeting in excitement. She shifts to one knee, attention focusing eagerly back on Enadonella.
  230.  
  231.  
  232. Enadonella gives the crowd her best Breandryn impression, mocking her prior fear and horror, "He's sinking, almost drowning. OH NO! Whatever could save him now?" emphasising the question with a fling of her arms she turns on Rhi and snarls, "The wafflepups of the deep Syrup Sea started to circle the soon to be drowning great King." and just as she is about face to face with Rhi she spins to snap her hands at Xypher, her voice ruched and deep with intenisty "A wafflepup takes a chunk of the great King's calf!"
  233.  
  234. Xypher gives a yip and a hiccup at the sudden snap, then a soft chuckle before listening more intently.
  235.  
  236. You have emoted: Breandryn blushes brightly, hair brightening scarlet as she's impersonated, before she giggles, leaning closer to listen. At the mention of wafflepups, her ears perk up and her tummy starts to rumble again - and then their fate is announced. She squeaks, falling backwards in alarm. "Not the fatty streak!" she gasps in horror.
  237.  
  238. Enadonella smiles wickedly, giving you a sly wink she continues... "But the grand clashing noises of the battle between the great King and the pigions alerted the Boozeland forces, each of them upon absinthe coloured butterflies. With bizarre trumpeting sounds they swoop in to barely save the day!". Taking the skirt of her dress in each hand she offers a humble curtsey to declare the end of her part and returns to the corner swiftly.
  239.  
  240. You have emoted: Breandryn's worry at the King's fate fades into wonder at the description of the butterfly steeds. She lets out a soft cheer as Enadonella's part of the story finishes, applauding loudly. "Pick someone to go next!" she says.
  241.  
  242. Enadonella glares around the room, wrinkling her nose with indecision she finally allows her gaze to land on Nilofer.
  243. You clap your hands together merrily.
  244.  
  245. You say, "Words! Three words!"
  246.  
  247. Grand Xypher Stormcrow, Dreamer of Saffron whispers, "Star."
  248.  
  249. A white skull cackles hellishly at Rolan.
  250.  
  251. A white skull exclaims to Rolan, "VIVA LA PASTRYLUTION! POWER TO THE PASTRIES!"
  252.  
  253. Rolan stares blankly into space.
  254.  
  255. Captain Rolan Vessandril says, "Wakabi."
  256.  
  257. You say, "Star! Wakabi! And...?"
  258.  
  259. Grand Xypher Stormcrow, Dreamer of Saffron whispers, "Silence."
  260.  
  261. Xypher's eyes sparkle with amusement.
  262.  
  263. You have emoted: Breandryn begins to say, "Ooo-" but then claps her hand over her mouth, emulating the word. She gives Nilofer a nod, shifting her weight as she begins to eagerly wait to hear the next part of the story.
  264. Nilofer sucks thoughtfully on her teeth.
  265.  
  266. A tiny, blue-feathered wakabi exclaims to Rolan, "You know you want to join the Pastry Liberation Front! Search your feelings, you know it to be true!"
  267.  
  268. Rolan stares blankly into space.
  269.  
  270. Nilofer idly twitches her tail as she congeals the plot quickly thickening in the bottom of a drink of whiskey.
  271.  
  272. You have emoted: Breandryn takes another drink from her glass, happily swaying from side to side. "Poor King Baconator," she muses. "He's lost a leg and still his kingdom is under attack from the hogs..."
  273.  
  274. Nilofer points Torque-Edge at you.
  275. One arm outstretched, with the sword continuing that line, Nilofer points Torque-Edge toward Lord Makarta, her thumb working a switch to speed the sword's engine into a dull roar for a moment.
  276.  
  277. You blink incredulously at Nilofer.
  278.  
  279. Xypher bounces up and down, eagerly awaiting the next words, the next details of the deliciously epic tale.
  280.  
  281. Coughing as she swallows her drink, you say, "Oh...No stabbing, please!"
  282.  
  283. Captain Rolan Vessandril smiles impishly and says, "What about getting hammered?"
  284.  
  285.  
  286. With a flourish, Rolan draws a hammer of the hottest flames from a knight's frogge of ruby flames.
  287. 9300h, 10056m, 9658e, 10p, 26400en, 26400w Belrxkdb-
  288. With a flourish, Rolan draws an icy steel hammer from a knight's frogge of sapphire waters.
  289.  
  290. Enadonella brandishes a golden whip of the pious menacingly.
  291.  
  292. You brandish a fiery phoenix feather quill menacingly.
  293.  
  294.  
  295. You gasp with the realisation that Rhi has reached the level of Innocuous.
  296.  
  297. <<< She got like 3 levels just hanging out. I guess drinking IS good for you! >>>
  298.  
  299. Whelp Rhi says, "Oh erm, ignore me."
  300.  
  301. You give Rhi a wild cheer!
  302.  
  303. Danquik raises a stubby arm and gives Rhi a thumbsup.
  304.  
  305. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "Oh, here."
  306.  
  307. Sksez utters a deep, rumbling laugh.
  308.  
  309. Sksez gives the world a smart salute.
  310.  
  311. "Shh!" Xypher says to Sksez, putting a finger to his lips.
  312.  
  313. Sksez blinks.
  314.  
  315. Nilofer stands, weapon pointed and roaring beneath her voice, "Thankfully, the battle was finished, although a feeling of decided unease struck the King."
  316.  
  317. Nilofer points Torque-Edge at Rolan.
  318. One arm outstretched, with the sword continuing that line, Nilofer points Torque-Edge toward a slice of strawberry cheesecake, her thumb working a switch to speed the sword's engine into a dull roar for a moment.
  319.  
  320. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa says, "On the shore of the great sea of sugary death, however, a cloaked figure watched the precedings unfold, astride her great bird mount, the smell of fine brandy mingling with maple goodness."
  321.  
  322. Xypher tilts his head back toward Nilofer, hungerly awaiting every detail.
  323.  
  324. Nilofer points Torque-Edge at Xypher.
  325. One arm outstretched, with the sword continuing that line, Nilofer points Torque-Edge toward a dirty fink, her thumb working a switch to speed the sword's engine into a dull roar for a moment.
  326.  
  327. You have emoted: Breandryn's eyes widen as the story continues, leaning forwards again, although a bit more cautiously, with the sword being brandished, likely a lesson learned from the last city gathering.
  328.  
  329. Nilofer continues, intensity continuing to build in her voice even as her volume lowers, her sword's mechanisms manipulated to rumble ever more quietly, "The King spied the figure even as he greeted the captain of the guard, noting that the five-pointed formation they flew in was quite unlike the standard configuration of the Boozeland military: instead of the typical arrangement of seven forming a bottle, the men were arranged in a circle, indicative, from his extensive knowledge of heraldry and tactics, of the pirates of the Island of Crepe in one of the Syrup Sea's secluded bays, quite close to the borders of Boozeland.
  330.  
  331. Sword finally cutting out and laid along her leg Nilofer nods with sagacious intent, "The King was aware of this, but kept his misgivings to himself: better to be led into the court a cognizant prisoner than a corpse, he imagined."
  332.  
  333. You have emoted: Breandryn leans forwards as Nilofer's voice dwindles, ears perking up to listen intently. Her hands lift for a moment, tracing out the formations before her, wavers of reality in their wake shimmering out a delicate, laced-light pattern for the briefest moment.
  334.  
  335.  
  336. Nilofer continues on, swigging down another chug of whiskey, "As the cavalry turned to lead him onward, the King gestured with one arm to the mysterious wakabi rider, who quickly disappeared over a sugary dune, riding hard toward an enclave of her few remaining loyalist guardsmen, sequestered safely somewhere safe subterraneanly in the sewers beneath the castle."
  337.  
  338. Sksez nods his head emphatically.
  339.  
  340. You have emoted: Breandryn's ears rolls up happily as she listens, giving a brief quiver of delight at the alliteration, before the words register and she begins to frown faintly, her worry for the King returning.
  341.  
  342. A low rumbling, on the edge of hearing, mutters from Torque-edge's engine.
  343.  
  344. Nilofer takes to a squat as she prepares to finish her portion of the tale, voice dropping once more, "It was there, with her guardians, that the Queen beseeched the star-formed Elder who watched over her kingdom, Cognacguine, for a blessing in the reverse-coup the King surely intended from within and below her former stronghold."
  345.  
  346. Xypher claps his hands together merrily.
  347.  
  348. With a delighted tone, Grand Xypher Stormcrow, Dreamer of Saffron whispers, "An Elder! How exciting!"
  349.  
  350. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa says, "The star-formed are an ever-present blessing to Their faithful."
  351.  
  352. Nilofer nods her head sagely.
  353.  
  354. You have emoted: Breandryn nods eagerly at Xypher, murmuring, "I bet a God could beat the flame hogs. They are so powerful and wise and strong..."
  355.  
  356. Nilofer sucks thoughtfully on Torque-Edge.
  357.  
  358. Sksez puts his hands on his hips and goes "Hmmm!"
  359.  
  360. Softly, you say to Nilofer, "You get to pick who goes next."
  361.  
  362. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa asks, "Erm.q. whoo has yet to go, ouht of curiosoty?"
  363.  
  364. You point off into the wild blue yonder.
  365.  
  366. Grand Xypher Stormcrow, Dreamer of Saffron whispers to Nilofer, "Make Rolan do it!"
  367.  
  368. Frowning, you say, "Oh, Rhi left."
  369.  
  370. You giggle happily.
  371.  
  372. Captain Rolan Vessandril says, "Please no."
  373.  
  374. You nod your head emphatically.
  375.  
  376. Rolan sways back and forth.
  377.  
  378. You say, "Rolan!"
  379.  
  380. The corners of Sksez's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.
  381.  
  382. Xypher chuckles long and heartily.
  383.  
  384. Nilofer points Torque-Edge at Rolan.
  385. One arm outstretched, with the sword continuing that line, Nilofer points Torque-Edge toward a slice of strawberry cheesecake, her thumb working a switch to speed the sword's engine into a dull roar for a moment.
  386.  
  387. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa exclaims, "The cheesecake gooes next!"
  388.  
  389. Rolan blinks.
  390.  
  391. Sksez nods his head sagely.
  392.  
  393. Happily clapping, you say, "Three words for Rolan!"
  394.  
  395. Grand Xypher Stormcrow, Dreamer of Saffron whispers, "Banana."
  396.  
  397. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa says, "Chestt-pillows."
  398.  
  399. Rolan blinks.
  400.  
  401. Danquik leaves to the northeast, emanating an aura of immense power.
  402.  
  403. <<< Danquik straight up noped out >>>
  404.  
  405. You have emoted: Breandryn smothers a laugh, echoing, "Banana and...what?!"
  406.  
  407. Xypher chuckles long and heartily.
  408.  
  409. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "Chest-pillows?"
  410.  
  411. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa says, "Best pilloks."
  412.  
  413. Grand Xypher Stormcrow, Dreamer of Saffron whispers, "Butcher knife of some great power."
  414.  
  415. Sksez nods his head sagely.
  416.  
  417. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "I see."
  418.  
  419. Rolan stares blankly into space.
  420.  
  421. Uncertainly, you say, "All right, Rolan. Continue the tale and incorporate in a banana, chest pillows, and a butcher knife of a great power of your choosing."
  422.  
  423. Rolan picks up one of the pillows and appears to be trying to suffocate himself.
  424.  
  425. Nilofer taps her fingers together and murmurs, "Excellent..."
  426.  
  427. Sksez nods his head sagely.
  428.  
  429. Captain Rolan Vessandril says, "Uh."
  430.  
  431. You have emoted: Breandryn darts forwards, pulling at the bottom of the pillow in concern. "Rolan, no!" she says in alarm.
  432.  
  433. With a smirk, you say to Rolan, "We can't hear you with the pillow in front of your face."
  434.  
  435. Rolan flops down onto the ground.
  436.  
  437. Xypher chuckles quite loudly, slapping a knee before inviting more whiskey into his pallet.
  438.  
  439. You have emoted: Breandryn settles back on her pile of pillows, taking another slow sip of her drink. Her nose wrinkles at the spicy kick, and she coughs a bit as she swallows.
  440.  
  441. Rhi nervously sips on her whiskey.
  442.  
  443. The corners of Sksez's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.
  444.  
  445. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "Well, if we're drinking..."
  446.  
  447. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa asks Rhi, "Were you abble tto hear this one's dashi *hic* ng talle?"
  448.  
  449. Captain Rolan Vessandril says, "Not gonna lie. I am struggling with coming up with something."
  450.  
  451. Rolan sways back and forth.
  452.  
  453. Whelp Rhi says, "Oh gods oh gods oh gods, are we not now? I am sorry."
  454.  
  455. Sksez flashes Rhi a joyous smile.
  456.  
  457. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "We are, the Captain is just thinking."
  458.  
  459. Sksez nods his head sagely.
  460.  
  461. Laughing gently, you say to Rhi, "No, drink away! This is Gaudiguch. I think you are legally always allowed to." She frowns. "...or was that mandated?"
  462.  
  463. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa asks, "Has Gaudiguhch chavged such that drinking contests bbEfore the Flame arre no longer a point of pride?"
  464.  
  465. Captain Rolan Vessandril says to Nilofer, "They're just scared of my liver."
  466.  
  467. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "We haven't had one since I've been back, unfortunately."
  468.  
  469. Shaking her head, you say to Nilofer, "We are busy writing the anthem before the next drinking contest."
  470.  
  471. Nilofer idly twitches her tail.
  472.  
  473. Brightly, you say to Nilofer, "But we did invade the carriages for a party."
  474.  
  475. The corners of Sksez's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.
  476.  
  477. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa says, "OH, good... this one poisoned herself at several of those, itt would be a shamee to see the tradditiom fadee...."
  478.  
  479. Beaming, you say to Nilofer, "I shall be sure to send you an invite when we have our next event involving alcohol. Which...will probably be our next event, period."
  480.  
  481. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says to Nilofer, "Before too long I'll see about organizing one."
  482.  
  483. Sksez taps his nose knowingly.
  484.  
  485. The corners of Sksez's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.
  486.  
  487. You beam broadly at Sksez.
  488.  
  489. Nilofer rolls her eyes.
  490.  
  491. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa says, "A drinking duuel needd no oreanizatgon: simply two parties and drink."
  492.  
  493. Coughing, Whelp Rhi says, "Goodness this hurts my throat anD uuh this is disorienting."
  494.  
  495. Sksez nods his head sagely.
  496.  
  497. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "That means it's working, young'in."
  498.  
  499. Sksez nods his head sagely.
  500.  
  501. Rolan clears his throat.
  502.  
  503. You have emoted: Breandryn leans forwards in anticipation, eyes wide and fixed on Rolan.
  504.  
  505. Xypher claps and cheers with a loud hoot in anticipation.
  506.  
  507. Sksez tilts his head and listens intently.
  508.  
  509. Whelp Rhi says, "Do I have ko keep going?"
  510.  
  511. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says to Rhi, "Not if you don't want to!"
  512.  
  513. Whelp Rhi says, "I do not think I enjoy this...whiskey."
  514.  
  515. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says to Nilofer, "True that! But a party is always fun."
  516.  
  517. The corners of Sksez's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.
  518.  
  519. Quietly, Grand Xypher Stormcrow, Dreamer of Saffron whispers, "Try that tea."
  520.  
  521. Looking away shyly, Rhi gives a bawdy wyvern wine glass of painted dancers to you.
  522.  
  523. Your mouth turns up as your face breaks into a smile.
  524.  
  525. Rolan quietly says, "The great star-formed, vast and almighy, heard the queens prayer. And it yawned mightly because it was tired and bored, and had stayed up late last night playing with a banana in a, shall we say, unusual way."
  526.  
  527. Xypher blinks then shifts his mismatched eyes away with a cough.
  528.  
  529. Sksez snickers softly to himself.
  530.  
  531. You have emoted: Breandryn's head tilts to one side in confusion, doing her best to imagine the banana play.
  532.  
  533. Captain Rolan Vessandril whispers, "But the Elder did hear, and was obligated to respond. And so, it took a long moment, and..."
  534.  
  535. Adjusting her pillows, Rhi thanks Xypher with a small nod and smile before going back to studying the ground as she listens quietly.
  536.  
  537. Rolan begins bellowing at the top of his lungs, as star-formed are want to do, "WHAT SERIOUSLY WHAT YOU WASTE MY TIME WITH THIS OH COME ON WE GAVE YOU TWO BLESSINGS LAST WEEK I MEAN SERIOUSLY WHY DO WE EVEN WASTE OUR TIME WITH YOU MEATBAGS OKAY FINE HERE HAVE THIS KNIFE OF SOME GREAT POWER I WAS DONE WITH IT ANYWAY GOSH".
  538.  
  539. Sksez utters a deep, rumbling laugh.
  540.  
  541. You giggle happily.
  542.  
  543. Xypher chuckles long and heartily.
  544.  
  545. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa says, "It would seem that Cognacguine is the Oh God of Hangovers..."
  546.  
  547. Grand Xypher Stormcrow, Dreamer of Saffron whispers to Rolan, "Now I'd suggest Sksez, or Rhi, since they're the only ones not to do it yet."
  548.  
  549. Grand Xypher Stormcrow, Dreamer of Saffron whispers to you, "Then you can wrap it up!"
  550.  
  551. Xypher nods his head sagely.
  552.  
  553. Captain Rolan Vessandril says, "Oh we're not done yet."
  554.  
  555. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa says, "He does still have a word left..."
  556.  
  557. Whelp Rhi says, "Oh erm."
  558.  
  559. Utterly entranced, Xypher emits a long "Ooooh."
  560.  
  561. Sksez nods his head sagely.
  562.  
  563. Grand Xypher Stormcrow, Dreamer of Saffron whispers, "Right, the chest pillows!"
  564.  
  565. You have emoted: Breandryn's eyes raise. "Yes!" she recalls. "Chest....pillows?" She frowns, still unclear on that term.
  566.  
  567. Captain Rolan Vessandril intones, "The Queen recieved the knife, and knew what she must do. She charged at the King when his back was turned, fully intending on stabbing him directly in the ear. But she slipped on the banana, which the star-formed had just left out there. And so the butcher knife of some great power skittered to King Baconator's feet. Which, of course, in the ways of his people, constitutes a marriage proposal."
  568.  
  569. The corners of Sksez's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.
  570.  
  571. Captain Rolan Vessandril says, "The King accepted, as honor demands he must, and so their two kingdoms would be joined. Luckily, the King had brought an appropriate offering of his own. A pillow-chest. A tiny chest full of pillows."
  572.  
  573. Rolan nods his head sagely.
  574.  
  575. Nilofer peers at Rolan unscrupulously.
  576.  
  577. Xypher's eyes sparkle with amusement.
  578.  
  579. Sksez utters a deep, rumbling laugh.
  580.  
  581. You have emoted: Breandryn nods slowly, taking in this new information with a giggle. "I'd love to nestle in a pillow chest," she murmurs, delighted by the idea.
  582.  
  583. Nilofer drifts away from the conversation, lost in her daydreams.
  584.  
  585. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "I'd like to nestle on a chest pillow."
  586.  
  587. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa says, "This one, too..."
  588.  
  589. Sksez utters a deep, rumbling laugh.
  590.  
  591. Defensively raising her hands, Enadonella backs away from the situation slowly.
  592.  
  593. Sksez grins mischievously at Enadonella.
  594.  
  595. Captain Rolan Vessandril says to you, "Isn't that just a bed for you?"
  596.  
  597. The corners of Rolan's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.
  598.  
  599. You have emoted: With a wide smile at Rhi, Breandryn asks, "Care to finish up the story? The flame hogs still are rampaging through Bacontopia!"
  600.  
  601. Laughing awkwardly Rhi averts her gaze from the strange aslaran woman.
  602.  
  603. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "If she doesn't, I will!"
  604.  
  605. The corners of Sksez's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.
  606.  
  607. You say, "How about Rhi and then Sksez? Make sure to leave a bit of trouble left for Sksez."
  608.  
  609. Whelp Rhi says, "Oh erm um you can go ahead, I do not really like public...speaking."
  610.  
  611. Whelp Rhi says, "Oh..."
  612.  
  613. Whelp Rhi says, "Erm."
  614.  
  615. <<< We're too drunk for shyness! >>>
  616.  
  617. You say, "Three words for Rhi!"
  618.  
  619. Whelp Rhi says, "Ok."
  620.  
  621. You beam broadly at Rhi.
  622.  
  623. Captain Rolan Vessandril says, "Bacon."
  624.  
  625. Grand Xypher Stormcrow, Dreamer of Saffron whispers, "Dance!"
  626.  
  627. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "Whiskey."
  628.  
  629. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa asks Rolan, "Bacon seems inherent to the story already, isn't it?"
  630.  
  631. You nod your head at Nilofer.
  632.  
  633. Initiate Enadonella says, "Pork."
  634.  
  635. Whelp Rhi says, "Erm dance isn't a noun."
  636.  
  637. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says to Nilofer, "Poor Captain is constantly thinking about bacon. One too many headslams."
  638.  
  639. Sksez gives a pained sigh.
  640.  
  641. You say, "A waltz, then."
  642.  
  643. Captain Rolan Vessandril says, "Did someone say something about headslams?!"
  644.  
  645. Rolan slams his forehead into the skull of Sksez, who reels backwards and is stunned by the blow.
  646.  
  647. Sksez utters a deep, rumbling laugh.
  648.  
  649. Xypher utters a deep, rumbling laugh.
  650.  
  651. You say, "A waltz, whiskey and...headslams!"
  652.  
  653. Grand Xypher Stormcrow, Dreamer of Saffron whispers, "Again! Again!"
  654.  
  655. Xypher cheers wildly!
  656.  
  657. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says to Nilofer, "See? He's an addict. Tragic."
  658.  
  659. Nilofer ponders the situation.
  660.  
  661. The corners of Sksez's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.
  662.  
  663. "Heh heh heh" Nilofer chuckles.
  664.  
  665. Captain Rolan Vessandril says to Xypher, "No no, poor Sksez would die from headslamming if I did it too often. Which is impressive considering that headslams do literally no harm."
  666.  
  667. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "I'm one of the weak ones."
  668.  
  669. Sksez nods his head sagely.
  670.  
  671. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "Doomed to die from a headslam."
  672.  
  673. Whelp Rhi says, "So like erm."
  674.  
  675. Whelp Rhi says, "Bacon walts whiskey?"
  676.  
  677. Sksez nods his head sagely.
  678.  
  679. Whelp Rhi says, "I haven't actually paid very good attention but here goes."
  680.  
  681. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa whispers to Rhi, "Waltz, whiskey, headslam."
  682.  
  683. Whelp Rhi says, "So um to recap."
  684.  
  685. Whelp Rhi says, "We had a chest full of pillows to bring peace?"
  686.  
  687. Rolan nods his head sagely.
  688.  
  689. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "And a magic knife."
  690.  
  691. Sksez nods his head sagely.
  692.  
  693. You say, "But! The flame hogs are still rampaging back in Bacontopia! And apparently there is a wedding planned."
  694.  
  695. Frowning, you say, "Though...the king's army is still out there..."
  696.  
  697. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa says, "Also: pancake pirates pillaging and plundering princely possessions in the parapets of a particularly patriotic pillar of a castle."
  698.  
  699. You applaud Nilofer heartily.
  700.  
  701. Whelp Rhi says, "Ok!"
  702.  
  703. Delighted, you say to Nilofer, "That was lovely!"
  704.  
  705. Whelp Rhi says, "So the army is still out there erm."
  706.  
  707. Whelp Rhi says, "Fighting the flame hogs and stuff and erm the pigs stood up and were like "Hey-yo let's settle this!""
  708.  
  709. Rhi peers about herself unscrupulously.
  710.  
  711. Whelp Rhi says, "The army is like "Woah! did you just talk?" the hog were like "We can walk on two legs too and we challenge you to a dance off!""
  712.  
  713. You have emoted: Breandryn shifts her weight, taking another sip from her cup as she leans forwards, giggling at the new twist in the story.
  714.  
  715. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa asks, "Pants off?"
  716.  
  717. The corners of Sksez's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.
  718.  
  719. Ignoring the strange n'Lochli, Whelp Rhi says, "So General Chief Coordinator Headslam was like "WE ACCEPT THE DANCE IS A WALTZ! WHO EVER STEPS ON THE OTHERS' FOOT FIRST RETREATS!""
  720.  
  721. Rhi coughs, looking rather concerned about the absurdity of the situation.
  722.  
  723. In a low whisper, you say to Xypher, "Oh, I'd doom the whole kingdom."
  724.  
  725. A tiny pixie giggles happily at Xypher.
  726.  
  727. A tiny pixie says to Xypher, "Ohoho, what's going on in here?"
  728.  
  729. Whelp Rhi says, "So like....erm......................GCC Headslam was saying, "MEN!" though there were robably like, girls there too but, "Select your piggy partner!" and so people um went and picked on, oh oh everyone had super heavy feet so they'd cry out in pain if they got stepped on. So if erm you heard a pig squeal or a person yelp, you'd know and...."
  730.  
  731. Rhi points accusingly at Sksez.
  732.  
  733. Whelp Rhi says, "He tells us the ending!"
  734.  
  735. The corners of Sksez's mouth turn up as he grins mischievously.
  736.  
  737. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "Give me my words, then."
  738.  
  739. Sksez nods his head sagely.
  740.  
  741. Rhi looks horrified, sipping her tea from her little corner in the room as she listens intently.
  742.  
  743. Sksez flashes Rhi a joyous smile.
  744.  
  745. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says to Rhi, "You did a good job."
  746.  
  747. Rolan nods his head sagely.
  748.  
  749. You have emoted: Breandryn giggles, falling back onto her pillows for a moment as she imagines the absurd dance party. Her laughter turns to a snort to a quick little oink, and then she collapses into giggles again.
  750.  
  751. Initiate Enadonella says, "Plum, revolver, kitchen."
  752.  
  753. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "Revolver?"
  754.  
  755. "Uhh..." stalls Nilofer.
  756.  
  757. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa asks, "Like the earthen magnums the Geomancers have?"
  758.  
  759. Whelp Rhi says, "Ship turret."
  760.  
  761. You nod your head at Rhi.
  762.  
  763. Grinning, you say to Sksez, "Plum, ship turret and a kitchen. Have fun and finish us up!"
  764.  
  765. Whelp Rhi says, "That way we can have everyone shot and cooked maybe."
  766.  
  767. Whelp Rhi says, "With a plum sauce...."
  768.  
  769. Rhi peers about herself unscrupulously.
  770.  
  771. Whelp Rhi whispers, "Forgive meLg."
  772.  
  773. Rhi coughs softly.
  774.  
  775. You have emoted: Breandryn takes another drink from her cup, her laughter fading back into worry as she awaits the fate of King Baconator and his newly acquired Queen.
  776.  
  777. Xypher coughs softly.
  778.  
  779. Enadonella covers her mouth and sneezes.
  780.  
  781. Colonel Nilofer n'Lochli, Iron-Blooded Marquessa asks you, "Oh, are you finished with this one's sword?"
  782.  
  783. You have emoted: Breandryn blinks at Nilofer - she hasn't drunk much, but apparently it's enough for the small woman and she stares down at the sword in amazement. "Howzat whazit..." she mumbles, brow furrowing, before she hands back the sword she was unaware of pilfering, attention drawn quickly to Sksez.
  784.  
  785. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "Alright, so, as the dance off began, a cloud of fire mantes came and began to play a droning melody by rubbing their wings and legs together. It was beautiful, very moving. The dance seemed to be going swimmingly, and no one had stepped on a foot yet. Suddenly, the mantes grew really, really loud, playing a repeated note in a rythmic pattern."
  786.  
  787. Nilofer sucks thoughtfully on Torque-Edge.
  788.  
  789. You have emoted: Breandryn's eyes widen in a touch of concern. "Oh no..." she murmurs. "What are those bugs up to..."
  790.  
  791. Animatedly, Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "An aethership hung in the sky above, blasting down with a revolving turret! Suddenly, the hogs began running into pre-dug tunnels around the battlefield, taking cover from the attack, but King Baconator's forces weren't so lucky! After the initial volley, Headslam and many of his men had been decimated. The survivors were in a Nil-scape, with the sounds of the dead and dying echoing all over the place."
  792.  
  793. Oberburgermeister Steingrim, the Grand Schema says, "So I must leave."
  794.  
  795. Enadonella gives Steingrim a peck on the cheek.
  796.  
  797. Sksez waves goodbye at Steingrim.
  798.  
  799. Oberburgermeister Steingrim, the Grand Schema says, "But before I do. A toast and perhaps a magic trick. Have you all seen lightning inside?"
  800.  
  801. Oberburgermeister Steingrim, the Grand Schema recites, "A toast to you all. I am told that in Hallifax they toast with milk, certainly this must be where the word milktoast originates. Or as Lord Zvoltz certainly, probably never said, "You all should seriously think for yourselves." Was it Lord Eventu who likely never said, "Seriously, can the angelic choir sing anything not about the Light?" Or was it Lord Morgfyre who said, "I ate what...um who?" Over brunch Lady Kalikai never gossiped with Lady Jadice that, "Secretly, I prefer tea." Perhaps it was Lady Jadice who opined, "If you keep leaving the doors open it'll get cold in here!" Did Lord Horicle mutter in His sleep, "I dreamed all this up?" Musing, was it Lord Darvellan who wondered, "Where do I keep losing my coat?, Lord Nocht never said, "Why's it so dark in here?" All these things are a true as the brew Hallifax imbues."
  802.  
  803. Grand Xypher Stormcrow, Dreamer of Saffron whispers to Steingrim, "That is deserving..."
  804.  
  805. Sksez's mouth turns up as his face breaks into a smile.
  806.  
  807. You have emoted: Breandryn giggles in delight at each mention of the divine, eyes wide as she lifts her own glass, letting out a cheer.
  808.  
  809. Steingrim waits for the zap.
  810.  
  811. Happily, you say, "To freedom!"
  812.  
  813. Steingrim begins to pace about.
  814.  
  815. Oberburgermeister Steingrim, the Grand Schema says, "I feel like I let the Fates down."
  816.  
  817. Oberburgermeister Steingrim, the Grand Schema says, "I'll try harder next time."
  818.  
  819. Steingrim waves goodbye.
  820.  
  821. Xypher cheers along with you, "To freedom!" and takes a good long drink of whiskey after the cheer.
  822.  
  823. You wave goodbye.
  824.  
  825. Captain Rolan Vessandril smiles and says, "To freedom."
  826.  
  827. Laughing, you say to Sksez, "Sorry for that. I asked him for a toast."
  828.  
  829. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "The hogs rushed from their holes and began clashing with the surviving army, and a great battle erupted once again! The Aethership began to recharge its gun when suddenly it was zapped by Lord Cognacguine and exploded as he shouted "SHUT IT! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP IT OFF!" The wreckage rained down on the battlefield, scattering parts here and there and crushing the odd combatant. The Mantes, suddenly less confident, buggered off to the Fire plane."
  830.  
  831. You have emoted: Breandryn's excitement over the toast fades as the latest turn in the story sinks in. She gasps, asking in alarm, "What about King Baconator?!"
  832.  
  833. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "The Hogs were still pressing their advantage, though, when suddenly, a cry came from the kitchens of King Baconator's castle! A plum tart had gained sentience, and raised his fellow pastry bretheren with him, and they were throwing off the schackles of oppression! The Pastrylution had begun! They rushed onto the battlefield and began to clash with the hogs, who began to eat them en masse. As the pastry army was quickly devoured, the hogs began to move a little more sluggishly, what with their bellies now so full of the hopes and dreams of pastrykind for a brighter, more free future."
  834.  
  835. <<< Note his title. This has been a city...theme...>>>
  836.  
  837. Nilofer thrusts her palm towards her forehead and hits it with a resounding *smack*!
  838.  
  839. You stare implacably at Sksez.
  840.  
  841. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "All seemed lost!"
  842.  
  843. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "But then, a miracle!"
  844.  
  845. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "The hogs began to choke on their own tongues and die!"
  846. "Ha!" Enadonella exclaims with gusto.
  847.  
  848. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "They had been poisoned by the sentient pastries, who, instead of rising up against their oppressors, chose to join hands for everyone's freedom and sacrifice themselves to poison the enemies of the land."
  849.  
  850. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "The surviving soldiers began to celebrate, and a great ham feast was had by all in the land, and King Baconator lived a thousand years and sired three hundred children. Baconator Juniors, if you will."
  851.  
  852. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "Sons of Baconator."
  853.  
  854. Nilofer thrusts her palm towards her forehead and hits it with a resounding *smack*!
  855.  
  856. Xypher chuckles long and heartily.
  857.  
  858. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "And the Sons of Baconator reigned over the land until sadly, they eventually fell under the weight of their own corruption. Such is life."
  859.  
  860. Enadonella swings her arm up and high fives Sksez enthusiastically.
  861.  
  862. Sksez swings his arm up and high fives Enadonella enthusiastically.
  863.  
  864. You have emoted: Despite herself, Breandryn erupts into giggles, trying to clap but finding it difficult through all her laughter. "Bravo!" she cries out, amazed by the story's wild conclusion.
  865.  
  866. Smirking confidently, Nilofer and Enadonella casually bump fists.
  867.  
  868. Eventually regaining her breath, you say, "Oh, well. I was going to award a prize to the best story - but I think it's impossible to decide!"
  869.  
  870. <<< Gold for everyone! >>>
  871.  
  872. Rolan reaches over and ruffles your hair with a fond expression.
  873.  
  874. Nilofer sucks thoughtfully on Torque-Edge.
  875.  
  876. Revolutionary Sksez, Noble Liberator of Pastries says, "Ooh! Thank you!"
  877.  
  878. Shaking her head, you say, "No, thank all of you - this was meant to be a gathering to get over the raid and the pain to the fleshpots. Instead, I see that we are all, oh, so happy and laughing, smiling and having fun. It shows how resilient and strong our spirit is, and it reminds me just how happy I am to live here."
  879.  
  880. You have emoted: Breandryn blushes after her big speech, swaying happily (and a bit drunkenly) as she takes another happy sip of her drink.
  881.  
  882. <<< People drift off to drink their own ways >>>
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