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Jun 25th, 2019
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  1. Here are my subjective ratings of the candidates (out of 100), with brief explanation, they're impressionistic:
  2. Michael Bennet - 55, he's too right-wing for my tastes but he's charismatic and exudes intelligence, correctly identifies problems that the country faces
  3. Joe Biden - 10, he struck the right tone in the beginning but I now believe that he should be put in a nursing home, bad candidate
  4. Cory Booker - 5, this man is weird as fuck, creepy eyes and attitude, corny
  5. Steve Bullock - 55, too right-wing for my tastes but he's a good Governor
  6. Pete Buttigieg - 0, probably a sociopath, 100% full of shit, cannot be trusted, deserves to be thrown into magma
  7. Julian Castro - 0, race hustler, poor representative of Mexicans, should have his heart cut out on a pyramid to satisfy the gods
  8. Bill de Blasio - 0, do your fucking job, freakshow
  9. John Delaney - 3, not giving him a 0 because his web presence is dark comedy. he looks funny
  10. Tulsi Gabbard - 0, weird cultist
  11. Kirsten Gillibrand - 0, phony idpol warrior
  12. Mike Gravel - 0, meat puppet controlled by teenagers, let him die in peace
  13. Kamala Harris - 45, was terrified and annoyed by her announcement speech, which now seems wonderful in retrospect, sorry kamala!
  14. John Hickenlooper - 0, should be forced to eat tar sands waste
  15. Jay Inslee - 0, shitty governor, shitty candidate, offers bad climate change messaging that isn't convincing, fuck off
  16. Amy Klobuchar - 15, psycho amy amuses me
  17. Wayne Messam - 0, should be exiled for wasting everyone's time
  18. Seth Moulton - 0, man has a fat chipmunk face, is wasting everyone's time
  19. Beto O'Rourke - 20, good guy, bad candidate, he has proven me wrong somehow, this primary is hell
  20. Tim Ryan - 0, based fat yoga man should jump off a bridge, fuck off
  21. Bernie Sanders - 70, he has a rating that's this good because of his record, and past. his campaign has alienated me somehow.
  22. Joe Sestak - 0, wesley clark the 2020 edition, nope
  23. Eric Swalwell - 0, semi-retarded, he'll kill himself by auto-erotic asphyxiation
  24. Elizabeth Warren - 45, after going through this list, I realized that she's one of the better candidates hahahahhaa we're fucked
  25. Andrew Yang - 20, endearing snake oil salesman who doesn't understand anything about economics but has some good ideas somehow, basically full of shit though
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