Anima, Ch.45: Banished

--01-- [scene: Karu Forest]
Why? Why did I...turn into this?
There's...there's got to be something someone can do about this...!
Could I...just rebirth?
I'd never asked to change my appearance before, but...could Nao undo this?

--02--
I don't know what else to do. I'll have to try it...
As I'd done before, I reached out with my spirit to that otherworldly place, that floating stage in the endless sky...



--03-- [scene: none] <BGM: Whisper of Wind>
Getting there seemed the same as before, but when I reached the Soulstream...it was nearly pitch black.
I saw the stage below me, faintly glowing, but the sky around it was without a trace of light.



--04-- <BGM: Final Resting Place>
Nao was here, as she always was...but this time she wasn't here alone.
At her side was a figure in white, with large black feathered wings...
Morrighan was here too.

...And her eyes were opened.
--05-- (Nao) <BGM: Final Resting Place>
I see now...
Only when it is too late, do I understand...why you...didn't quite fit...



--06-- <BGM: Final Resting Place>
"What's...what's happened to me? Why did I turn into...this?"




--07-- <BGM: Final Resting Place>
(Morrighan)
I warned you. I warned you, Mearaithe...
...I warned you not to seek power.
To not disturb the balance of this world...
You have profoundly disappointed me in both aspects...

--08-- <BGM: Final Resting Place>
(Morrighan)
I warned you that even with the noblest intentions, the lure of power would corrupt you,
and you would be very easily corrupted.



--09-- <BGM: Final Resting Place>
(Morrighan)
This has transpired because you did not heed my warnings.
Now you bear witness to the results.
You have no one to blame but yourself...


--10-- <BGM: Alone With My God>
"Then...what do I do now? I...I can't stay like this!"




--11-- <BGM: Alone With My God>
(Morrighan)
You think yourself afflicted with an unnatural condition?
On the contrary. Now we see the full truth of what you really are...



--12-- <BGM: Alone With My God>
(Nao)
We took a great risk in bringing you here.
We saw potential in you and hoped that you could make amends
for whatever misdeeds burdened your soul.
We did not know...what exactly we had brought over...

--13-- <BGM: Alone With My God>
(Nao)
...until now.
I chose for you the body of an elf, as it most closely resembled...this...
This form that you've taken.
Nothing was a proper fit...because *this* was your true form.

--14-- <BGM: Alone With My God>
"What...? I'm...I'm *supposed* to be like this?!"




--15-- <BGM: Alone With My God>
(Morrighan)
The body is a reflection of the soul.
Your soul was weak and withered when you were brought here, but it has grown strong again.
The reflection has been forced back into alignment with the image.


--16-- <BGM: Alone With My God>
(Nao)
I'm sorry that it has come to this, but I will not attempt to restore that...false body.
Even if I were to succeed, it would revert to this, with all the agony repeated.
I will not do that to you...


--17-- BGM: Alone With My God>
(Morrighan)
This is what you once were...
What I hoped you would not become again...
Had you listened to me, this might not have come to pass...

--18-- <BGM: O Glorious Sword of Light>
"You went along with this lie this whole time, knowing this is what I really was?"
I glared at the both of them.
"You used me. And now you're throwing me away."


--19-- BGM: O Glorious Sword of Light>
(Morrighan)
I had hoped to bring light to darkness.
I had hoped that I could save you from the deep shadow of your past.
I had hoped that it would not reclaim you.
It seems now that those hopes were in vain...

--20-- BGM: O Glorious Sword of Light>
(Morrighan)
Your soul was once red, but now it is black, fallen into darkness deep indeed.
Now it is the soul of a devil.
No...it always was.
I had hoped that could change. Perhaps I was wrong...

--21-- <BGM: O Glorious Sword of Light>
(Morrighan)
There are no words adequate to convey my...disappointment.
Both in you, and myself.



--22-- BGM: O Glorious Sword of Light>
(Morrighan)
You are a danger to this world, Mearaithe Dearg.
I had hoped you could part from your bloodied past, but it seems that I was as vain as my sisters
in thinking I could do what is impossible...


--23-- <BGM: O Glorious Sword of Light>
"So even gods are made fools by their passions. But it's always someone else who suffers for it!"




--24-- <BGM: Tale Untold>
(Morrighan)
I cannot deny that.
Still, I am indebted to you.
You did succeed in freeing me from captivity, as I hoped.
You destroyed Glas Ghaibhleann and won Erinn a reprieve...one that seems to be ending now.

--25-- <BGM: Tale Untold>
(Morrighan)
You have caused problems enough to unbalance the good you've wrought.
Dorca Feadhain marches now, and Uladh burns in their wake.
He who leads them bears hatred for the entire world, because of you.


--26-- <BGM: Tale Untold>
(Morrighan)
The one I chose to save this world neglected his duty in his infatuation for you,
and now his soul is lost to us forever.
There are others with potential, but it is too late to push back the darkness.


--27-- <BGM: Tale Untold>
(Morrighan)
I would expel you, and send you back to the world of your origin, but...I do not know where you came from...
Or even if where you came from still exists...
You have nowhere to go...


--28-- <BGM: Tale Untold>
(Morrighan)
...

So be it, then. I repay my debt to you by sparing you my full wrath.
Let this land of my sister's designs be your prison henceforth.
Here, you shall remain, and not bother another living soul.

--29-- <BGM: Tale Untold>
"Then you really are just throwing me away. I've outlived my usefulness, and now I'm an inconvenience.
I sure hope you never do this to anyone else.
...I just wish I could make you regret this."


--30-- <BGM: Tale Untold>
(Morrighan)
Spare me your indignant insolence.
You are too dangerous to be left among the living.
You are a threat to all who cross your path.
The empty lands of Iria are the only place fit for you.

--31-- <BGM: Tale Untold>
(Morrighan)
I will stay my hand if you remain in your place, but if you attempt to return to Uladh...I will unmake you.

Goodbye, Mearaithe Dearg.
We will not meet again...unless you choose the path of oblivion.

--32-- <BGM: The Story of a White Deer>
Morrighan vanished, leaving only Nao, who had remained quiet in her superior's presence.

"So now what do I do with myself?"


--33-- <BGM: The Story of a White Deer>
(Nao)
I am sorry. I do not know. I can help you no further...
This was all a terrible mistake that can never be set right.


--34-- <BGM: The Story of a White Deer>
(Nao)
By Morrighan's will, the Soul Stream is closed to you now.
I must bid you farewell, too.
...I'm sorry that I put you through all of this...
It may have been kinder to have let you fade into oblivion.

--35-- <BGM: The Story of a White Deer>
Would it have been crueler to have lived and lost, or never to have lived again at all?

"I don't regret the life I lived here. Only how it ended up, with me getting divinely screwed over."


--36-- <BGM: Whisper of Wind> {SFX: thunder}
With a frown, Nao vanished too.
Once she was gone, an unseen force seized me, ejecting me from the Soulstream.
I was dumped back into the living world, where I'd left, still in the form I'd left it.


--37-- [scene: Karu Forest] <BGM: Ruler of the Dark>
I'd been banished; not only from Uladh, but from the Soulstream too.
Now I'm stuck living an exile's life, in this empty land,
in this twisted body, in a world that doesn't want me in it...


--38-- <BGM: Ruler of the Dark>
Condemned to be alone forever...
...I have nothing.
No more reason to live, and I can't even die...!
Unless I tempt fate, and have Morrighan end me...
But this is still preferable to non-existence.
--39-- <BGM: Ruler of the Dark>
I let myself fall to my knees, then sideways to the ground, one horn wedged uncomfortably under my head.
Despair washed over me, and I wept.
I wept for hours, until I had no more tears left in me.


--40-- <BGM: Ruler of the Dark>
I may be a devil, but I can still cry.

I am not what I once was...but I guess everything I'd done to try and change myself...just wasn't enough...

Are the chains of the past unbreakable?

[end of chapter]