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Apr 25th, 2018
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  1. A SONG OF WAR
  2. (don't ask for more)
  3. (because of lies,
  4. I must revise)
  5.  
  6. An army gathers in the distance,
  7. A village soon will need assistance.
  8. Defenders in their fortress gray
  9. Have waited for this siege all day.
  10. But these attackers, well, they're mean;
  11. They're strong, they're fast; their banner's green!
  12. The brazen footmen start to march,
  13. And all the archers bravely arch.
  14. But from the castle comes a foe,
  15. (A gasp of fear) The Great Munroe!
  16. He rides up on his raptor saddled,
  17. All the attackers' wits are addled!
  18. The horses jump and turn around,
  19. The riders fall onto the ground.
  20. The swords are rusting in their sheathes,
  21. The arrows' heads have turned to leaves.
  22. It seems Randall has won -- But soft!
  23. Up rides the force of Microsoft!
  24. In armor blue, with horses black,
  25. They look ready for any hack.
  26. The xkcdians turn to flee,
  27. But Randall shouts, "Nay, fight with me!"
  28. The weary soldiers face their foe,
  29. Are ready for the deadly blow.
  30. But even as they wait for doom,
  31. New shadows on the mountains loom!
  32. The cavalry is here, with recent news,
  33. Of a brave and badly-needed ruse.
  34. "They have a weakness, if you dare
  35. To ride right up into their hair."
  36. Brave Randall on his raptor steed
  37. Is eager to fight commercial greed.
  38. His allies watch with baited breath
  39. Their leaders goes to face down Death.
  40. The blue line holds from end to end,
  41. But there's a spot they deigned to mend.
  42. Toward this small hole our hero rides,
  43. No need for maps or even guides.
  44. He passes soldiers like a ghost,
  45. And smiles -- soon, they'll all be toast.
  46. A dozen rows; behind the last,
  47. A tower Randall calmly passed.
  48. Behind this tower is a trumpet,
  49. One smaller than a tiny crumpet.
  50. Though dubious Munroe lifts it to his mouth
  51. A note rings out to North and South
  52. The enemy, bewildered, turn
  53. Befuddled by this arcane horn.
  54. And slowly, slowly go insane
  55. As Madness starts his evil reign
  56. They slay each other, fall apart
  57. And pierce their neighbor's beating heart!
  58. Microsoft lost their empirical goal
  59. Through this easily exploited hole
  60. Xkcdia was safe, the invaders smitten
  61. And this couplet wryly written:
  62. "If you plan a large attack,
  63. Install each patch your programs lack"
  64. Take from this tale whate'er you will,
  65. It wasn't written with much skill.
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