Lots of drama.
My dad been yelling at me and shit for any slightest thing I do. Like if I accidentally bump into my brother he'll get in my face screaming at me. I was getting dressed after a shower and locked my doors because people bust in on me all the damn time and he screamed at me for locking doors and raised his fists like he was gonna hit me. I can't do anything but mumble around him because I don't want him to start smacking me around AGAIN.
And then I found out my stupid friend told her whole damn little community of 1000+ people about all of our business and now I have random people who hate me and I HATE it when people who dont know me think badly of me. Dunno why.
AND THEN suddenly i'm fucking sad because im not sure i'll ever be able to amount to anything because im so lazy and cant do anything about it and I don't know how to study and I suck at school. But what's the fucking point if im just gonna struggle always in life over things like whether i have enough money or whether everything is going okay and relationship shit. what's the fucking point if life is such a fucking bitch?
I'm not supposed to be thinking like this.
It's just another mistake on my part.
Like everything else. I make SO MANY MISTAKES because I am an idiot. Simple. I'm just a fucking childish idiot who will never amount to ANYTHING in his fucking life
I have no motivation at all.
I cant even enjoy the hobbies like I used to.
I can't watch anime anymore and that was my all time favorite thing to do. All that manga I have on my desk unread. I cant even get into it. I can't write stories because I can never finish them. I can't stay focused on schoolwork. Holy shit I can't even download music because I cant stay focused.
My friend is a fucking bitch and it's hard to stop talking to her because I know pretty much everything about her but I want her out of my life, yet I keep fucking worrying about how she'll be. And then Tiffany isn't always feeling good so I worry alot about her too but I dont know how to help at all.
I'll never find a motive.
I'll never be anything.
There's no point to this fucking life.
Wouldn't ending it all be fucking better
I'm pathetic. There are people worse off than me and I'm bitching about all this.
Pathetic.
Stupid.
I didn't even tell Tiffany about this because she'll worry or freak out or something. I'll never have the energy to type all this again
Bitching to you wont do anything
What is my fucking problem