Normal greetings are boring:

me: Oh noez.
thejollyrodgers: Rawr.
me: My shot blazes past the head of the beast, a miss. One that may cost me life. My hand fumbles as it retrieves another round from my pocket. I load the cold metal bolt into my rifle. And raise it staring down the sights as the beast darts towards me. The bolt strikes. A thunderous boom. The monster falls to the ground with a mangled leg.
thejollyrodgers: You shot me!
You tacoing bastard! >:[
me: The beast speaks! It's grasp of the language is crude, but to hear human words rise at all from such a hideous mouth is an amazing feat.
thejollyrodgers: Taco-you! :p
"LBP" translate please? :p
The game...
:p
me: I stand there in shock. As the beast waggles it's mutant jaw, not only forming words, but a question!
thejollyrodgers: >:(
me: "L-Little Big Planet." I stutter to it in fear.
thejollyrodgers: Ahhh sweet. Thanks :)
me: The monster forms something I assume is a smile. And then crawls off wounded into the jungle.
thejollyrodgers: Hehehe
me: I haven't moved an inch, too confused, too afraid.
Perhaps I should have worn brown underwear that day.


I'm pretty happy with it. But sadly I shift to past tense in the VERY last line.